Extreme Emotions
"Why did I trust him? He does this every time!" I mumbled to myself. I had spent the day at the library, reading. On a rainy day it was typical to find me sitting in one of those over-sized armchairs with a pile of books stacked up beside me. Pony didn't come with me because he was too lazy and wouldn't get out of bed because, "It's too early!" So, I dragged Johnny along instead.
"What did ya say, Mattie?" Johnny asked me.
"Nothin'" I replied and Johnny just shrugged.
Dally was supposed to pick us up and hour ago. He never remembers. I'd never say it, but I was starting to get a little scared. I'd grown up to my mother always keeping me inside and saying to me, "It isn't you I don't trust, its other people." Naturally, I was now very untrusting. Especially with men because...well, I'm not gonna draw you a picture.
"Mattie, we should start walkin'. It's gonna rain." He was right; I could smell the rain in the air and feel the moistness on my finger tips. It was also dark, somehow I had missed the sunset and the night air was beginning to chill my bare arms.
"Lets run, Johnny, I want to get back before this storm hits."
"You know I'm not any good at running, I'm not Pony." He grinned. It was too late though, thunder had rumbled from the sky, and I grabbed his arm and dragged him along.
By the time the downpour came we weren't even halfway home. Darry was gonna kill me. Johnny was now running next to me without my help. I glanced away from my feet over at him and the next thing I knew I was on the pavement. Why do I always have to be so clumsy?
"Mattie, you alright?" He looked concerned. I didn't answer him because I couldn't stop laughing. I took a breath.
"D-d-d-" It was no use, I cracked up, again. It must have been contagious because soon Johnny was sitting next to me, rain pouring down, laughing, too. I had never heard him laugh so hard. I'd never really heard him truly laugh before. The whole time we sat there getting soaked and I couldn't help but think, "What the hell are we laughing at?"
After are giggle fits had ceased, Johnny grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet.
"Let's keep running," he said, "Because.. " "Yeah, I know," I interrupted, "Darry is going to be worried about me."
"I wasn't thinking about Darry, I was gonna say Pony. He's always worried about you. If that boy could follow you everywhere, just to look after you, he would."
"Well I'm pretty sure I can look after myself, thank you very much." I spoke defensively.
"Hey, I wasn't sayin' that you couldn't."
We kept walking after that, I couldn't run anymore if I tried. I kept trying to get him to talk the whole way home because he had never talked to me this much before.
"Ya know you're not a bad runner Johnny Cade."
"Not as good as you and Pony, though." He admitted.
"Well, no, but who is?" I laughed as he shoved me jokingly.
"Whatever Mattie." He said, shaking his head and smiling. *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
We arrived back at the Curtis's at quarter after ten and Darry looked furious. As soon as we entered the living room he was on his feet interrogating us.
"Where have you been? Why didn't you call?" he yelled.
"I'm sorry," I yelled right back, "Maybe if Dallas hadn't for gotten to pick us up!"
"That doesn't matter, you could have called. I'm sorry, but you're grounded Mattie."
"You can't do that!" I was angry I never got into fights with Darry. That was Pony's job. "You're not my father!"
Silence, Dead silence. The whole gang (with the exception of Dallas, who was probably off getting drunk somewhere.) was staring at us. Darry just looked me in the eyes and talked barely above a whisper.
"Well, Mattie, why don't you just look around you? In case you haven't noticed, your father is gone; he doesn't give a damn about you, that's why he left you!"
I couldn't think his words kept ringing in my head. He left me. Those words had caused me more pain than a hit or slap. I automatically fell to my knees, stunned, and Darry knelt down in front of me, realizing what he had said, and pulled me towards him to embrace me in his massive arms. And I began to sob uncontrollably.
"Shhh. Its okay baby, I'm sorry sweetheart." He whispered soothingly.
It was the first time I'd ever cried about my father. Actually, it was the first time I had cried since I was seven. I didn't want to show my weaknesses or my pains. I know now it's revealing my weaknesses and my pains that make me stronger.
I never wanted for him to let me go. He was so warm and comforting against my wet and cold body.
"Darry, how could he have left me? I was such a good girl, Darry, I was. What did I do?" I cried softly in his ear.
"I don't know, baby, I just don't know."
*That's it for now. I promise to get another chapter up soon if you review!*
"Why did I trust him? He does this every time!" I mumbled to myself. I had spent the day at the library, reading. On a rainy day it was typical to find me sitting in one of those over-sized armchairs with a pile of books stacked up beside me. Pony didn't come with me because he was too lazy and wouldn't get out of bed because, "It's too early!" So, I dragged Johnny along instead.
"What did ya say, Mattie?" Johnny asked me.
"Nothin'" I replied and Johnny just shrugged.
Dally was supposed to pick us up and hour ago. He never remembers. I'd never say it, but I was starting to get a little scared. I'd grown up to my mother always keeping me inside and saying to me, "It isn't you I don't trust, its other people." Naturally, I was now very untrusting. Especially with men because...well, I'm not gonna draw you a picture.
"Mattie, we should start walkin'. It's gonna rain." He was right; I could smell the rain in the air and feel the moistness on my finger tips. It was also dark, somehow I had missed the sunset and the night air was beginning to chill my bare arms.
"Lets run, Johnny, I want to get back before this storm hits."
"You know I'm not any good at running, I'm not Pony." He grinned. It was too late though, thunder had rumbled from the sky, and I grabbed his arm and dragged him along.
By the time the downpour came we weren't even halfway home. Darry was gonna kill me. Johnny was now running next to me without my help. I glanced away from my feet over at him and the next thing I knew I was on the pavement. Why do I always have to be so clumsy?
"Mattie, you alright?" He looked concerned. I didn't answer him because I couldn't stop laughing. I took a breath.
"D-d-d-" It was no use, I cracked up, again. It must have been contagious because soon Johnny was sitting next to me, rain pouring down, laughing, too. I had never heard him laugh so hard. I'd never really heard him truly laugh before. The whole time we sat there getting soaked and I couldn't help but think, "What the hell are we laughing at?"
After are giggle fits had ceased, Johnny grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet.
"Let's keep running," he said, "Because.. " "Yeah, I know," I interrupted, "Darry is going to be worried about me."
"I wasn't thinking about Darry, I was gonna say Pony. He's always worried about you. If that boy could follow you everywhere, just to look after you, he would."
"Well I'm pretty sure I can look after myself, thank you very much." I spoke defensively.
"Hey, I wasn't sayin' that you couldn't."
We kept walking after that, I couldn't run anymore if I tried. I kept trying to get him to talk the whole way home because he had never talked to me this much before.
"Ya know you're not a bad runner Johnny Cade."
"Not as good as you and Pony, though." He admitted.
"Well, no, but who is?" I laughed as he shoved me jokingly.
"Whatever Mattie." He said, shaking his head and smiling. *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
We arrived back at the Curtis's at quarter after ten and Darry looked furious. As soon as we entered the living room he was on his feet interrogating us.
"Where have you been? Why didn't you call?" he yelled.
"I'm sorry," I yelled right back, "Maybe if Dallas hadn't for gotten to pick us up!"
"That doesn't matter, you could have called. I'm sorry, but you're grounded Mattie."
"You can't do that!" I was angry I never got into fights with Darry. That was Pony's job. "You're not my father!"
Silence, Dead silence. The whole gang (with the exception of Dallas, who was probably off getting drunk somewhere.) was staring at us. Darry just looked me in the eyes and talked barely above a whisper.
"Well, Mattie, why don't you just look around you? In case you haven't noticed, your father is gone; he doesn't give a damn about you, that's why he left you!"
I couldn't think his words kept ringing in my head. He left me. Those words had caused me more pain than a hit or slap. I automatically fell to my knees, stunned, and Darry knelt down in front of me, realizing what he had said, and pulled me towards him to embrace me in his massive arms. And I began to sob uncontrollably.
"Shhh. Its okay baby, I'm sorry sweetheart." He whispered soothingly.
It was the first time I'd ever cried about my father. Actually, it was the first time I had cried since I was seven. I didn't want to show my weaknesses or my pains. I know now it's revealing my weaknesses and my pains that make me stronger.
I never wanted for him to let me go. He was so warm and comforting against my wet and cold body.
"Darry, how could he have left me? I was such a good girl, Darry, I was. What did I do?" I cried softly in his ear.
"I don't know, baby, I just don't know."
*That's it for now. I promise to get another chapter up soon if you review!*