Part Twelve
If ever there had ever been hollow victory, this was it.
Chi-Chi had very few recollections of what had happened next; perhaps the shock and grief had been too fresh to make sense of anything that had gone on then. What she did remember was that she had wept for quite some time in front of what remained of Sita's lair for a very long time.
She might have stayed longer if it wasn't for Misai. Misai was the one who was able to keep a level head by telling Chi-Chi that they had to leave. This time, Chi-Chi didn't even try to resist; she just followed her, unable to say or think anything between sobs.
Now, several miles from the ruins, they sat next to each other on the hard, rocky ground. Misai just sat there in silence. She kept shooting awkward glances at Chi-Chi, like she wanted to say something to comfort her, but apparently was unable to think of anything appropriate.
Tears were silently streaming down Chi-Chi's face as though a dam had broke free within her. She never felt so horrible. Sita was defeated, but Goku was gone forever.
It was always hard whenever Goku had died in the past. She had always gone on without him, one way or another. Her family had kept her going, along with the hope that he'd come back…
But her family wouldn't be with her for a very long time. And this time, she and Goku wouldn't meet again in death, because she was already dead. She was going to be without him for eternity.
And to think, almost a week ago, she had just arrived in Other World, happily anticipating her reunion with Goku. If only she had known…
And it's all because of me, she thought, an icy stab of guilt mingling with her sorrow. I practically handed Goku over to that witch the moment I said that I hated him…Kami, why did I say such a horrible thing? What was I thinking?
You didn't know what Sita was up to! a voice coming from a small portion of her mind that was still reasonable reminded her. Nobody knew until you died and went looking for Goku. Besides, you were upset; you didn't mean it. You didn't even know that Goku was listening to you that day…
But I wasn't upset enough to hate him! she cried out silently. I never hated him! He'll never know that I didn't mean it!
Misai finally broke the silence. "So… this is would be the fourth time you've lost him?"
Chi-Chi nodded. "It feels like the hundredth," she whispered tearfully.
"Must be hard," Misai said rather sympathetically.
Chi-Chi couldn't take keeping silent anymore. "I'm so tired of this, Misai!" she burst out. "I thought that once we both died, I wouldn't have to be separated from him anymore. I never knew that there was death after death… or about Sita ---" She buried her face in her hands. "Oh Kami, it's my fault!"
Misai shook her head. "Don't talk like that," she said quietly.
"It is my fault!" Chi-Chi sobbed. "Sita killed him because I said that I wanted him to go away and never come back!"
"That's not true," Misai said firmly. "You didn't outright ask Sita to kill him; she just used your emotions as a loophole in order to get him."
"It doesn't make a difference," Chi-Chi said miserably. "You saw what happened that day at my house! I hurt him so badly… and because of that, he believed all the lies that Sita told him! He really believed that I hated him!"
"Well, if you ask me, he needed a wake-up call," Misai replied tartly.
Her careless words caused Chi-Chi's grief to momentarily subside, replacing with a fury so powerful that she could scarcely speak.
"You ---" she started sputtering. "You --- you --- DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT!" she burst out. "YOU THINK I WANTED TO HURT HIM, JUST BECAUSE HE HURT ME? I NEVER WANTED THAT! I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT HE NEVER MEANT TO HURT ME!"
Misai was quite unabashed. "Ignorance isn't an excuse," she said coolly. "If getting his feelings hurt was the only way he could get it through his thick head how it hurt you that he kept leaving, then he deserved it."
"HE NEVER DESERVED THAT!" Chi-Chi shouted.
In that moment, she forgot that Misai grew up in a place were women were abused and that she had every reason not to trust men. She wasn't going to let her continue to criticize Goku --- not after what he had gone through and how he had died!
"Now you listen here!" she snarled, glaring at Misai. "I know what happened to you on Vishnu was horrible, and all I can say is that I'm sorry! I can understand why you think all men are horrible. But that doesn't give you the right to badmouth my husband! You didn't even know him!
"Yes, he did hurt me, even if he didn't mean to! He wasn't perfect, but he would never, ever have done the things that Amar and your brother did to you! I loved him, and he loved me! I don't care whether you believe me or not, only if you think that his faults justify him being taken to Hell by that twisted hag ---"
"No!" Misai cut her off, suddenly looking horrified. "I --- I didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean that he deserved to go to Hell! I'd never say anything like that! I was just saying that he needed to realize what he was doing to you, that's all."
Chi-Chi stared at her, her anger towards her starting to fade. "You mean ---?" she faltered.
"I don't know," Misai muttered, seemingly knowing her question before she finished it. "I thought that all men were cruel animals. Now after everything I saw… what Sita did to him… him, giving up his spirit energy for you… and that look on his face… I don't know what to think anymore."
She bit her lip, as though what she was about to say was difficult for her to admit. "Except that… well, I still say that the men on Vishnu deserved to go to Hell. I'm still not sorry about what happened to Amar. But I don't think that Goku deserved to go to Hell --- not anymore." She paused. "I don't think he deserved anything that Sita did to him," she added quietly.
A lump arose in Chi-Chi's throat. New tears welled in her eyes.
Misai slowly inched closer to her, and put her arms around her in an awkward hug. "I --- I'm sorry," she said shakily. "I didn't mean to speak ill of the dead… I mean, not 'us dead,' but --- you know --- 'dead-dead.'"
They sat like that for a long time until Chi-Chi had stopped crying. "You know, you were right about one thing," Misai said after a while. "He was brave."
Chi-Chi nodded numbly.
"I don't think any other man would have been able to stand up to her like that," Misai went on rather thoughtfully. "Especially if she was torturing him. And I hate to admit it, but without him, we never would have defeated Sita. If he hadn't given up his spirit energy…"
"It should have been me," Chi-Chi said in a hollow, deadened tone. "I should have been the one to die, not him."
Misai sighed wearily. "Don't talk like that," she repeated.
"Why not?" Chi-Chi asked ruefully. "He never should have given me his spirit energy --- not after everything that happened! He should have just let Sita kill me!"
"Do you honestly think that would have made things better?" Misai asked sharply. "If Sita had killed you, would have been left to stop her?"
Chi-Chi blinked back her tears. That was a good question: what if Goku hadn't made his sacrifice? Chi-Chi wouldn't have been able to get up and fight again, for one thing. And Sita would have killed her and Misai for sure; they wouldn't have had time to come up with the plan of stealing Sita's staff… Sita certainly would have broken out of Hell and made good on her promise destroying her family…
And (although she hated to admit it) there wouldn't have been much that they could do for Goku. After all, he was in bad shape when they got there; he probably would have died anyway.
But still she shook her head. "He didn't deserve to die thinking all those horrible things…"
"Maybe not," Misai said softly. "But there isn't really anything you can do about it now, is there?"
Chi-Chi bit her lip, feeling another nasty pang of guilt. "No," she said quietly. "There isn't."
A sort of emptiness consumed her, making her feel like an old woman once again. To her, it was the worst feeling in the word; it was beyond grief and guilt. It was --- there was no other word for it --- nothing. It was like there was a giant void inside of her where Goku had once been, and would never be again.
"You know, it's funny," Misai mused after a while. "For centuries, I wanted to have my revenge on Sita, and now that she's finally gone… it doesn't really feel as good as I thought it would."
Chi-Chi looked up at her, perplexed. "What do you mean?"
"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that she's gone," Misai assured her. "Still… it doesn't erase the centuries I spent in Hell."
"Or undo what she did to Goku," Chi-Chi said sadly.
"So much for revenge," Misai said bitterly. "Even though that bitch is dead, in a way she still won."
Chi-Chi looked at the ground. "And after everything we went through," she said miserably.
"Well, we did beat her," Misai said quickly, in an effort to cheer her up. "She can't hurt your family or anyone else. That's got to count for something, does it?"
"I guess so," Chi-Chi replied tonelessly. Then she suddenly gasped as something dawned on her. "Oh no --- my family! How am I going to tell them about Goku?"
She could just imagine what their reactions would be. She knew that it would be years before any of them would die and come to Other World, but she was aware of how time flew by in Other World. When they found out Goku's fate and the role she played in it, they would never forgive her. They would hate her, just as Sita had predicted…
Perhaps Misai could read the expression on Chi-Chi's face. "Just tell them the truth," she advised, although she looked uncertain. "They won't be mad at you if they knew what you had to go through to find him. Besides, from what I saw and heard in Sita's lair, you weren't the only one who was mad at him."
"But I was the only one who said that I hated him," Chi-Chi said in despair.
"Look, I don't know how they'll act towards you when they find out --- especially your sons," Misai said tiredly. "I could say that they won't hate you because you're their mother, but there were plenty of sons on Vishnu who treated their mothers terribly. However, if they were half the men you told me that they were, then they won't hold it against you."
Chi-Chi managed a watery smile, though Misai's words didn't boost her confidence too much. "Thanks."
Misai sighed. "I guess you'll be going back to the other side soon? I mean, now that it's over…"
"I think so," Chi-Chi replied, looking around. There were no signs of a portal opening anywhere. King Kai and Baba hadn't contacted her since they had arrived at Sita's lair, yet there was no doubt they had seen the battle. She wondered if they blamed her for what happened.
"I know this probably doesn't mean much, coming from me," Misai said apologetically, "but I'm sorry for your loss."
"No, it means a lot coming from you," Chi-Chi said softly.
"You might not want to hear this now," Misai continued cautiously, "only maybe… you'll find someone else on the other side…"
"And love him the same as I loved Goku?" she asked incredulously. "No. I love Goku. He's the only person I've ever wanted to be with. Even in death, there will never be anyone else for me."
"So you're just going to spend eternity alone?" Misai asked in surprise.
"Probably," Chi-Chi said bitterly.
Misai looked at her with a mixture of pity and admiration. "You're either the most devoted woman I've ever known, or the most foolish."
Just then, a tiny dot of light appeared above them. It steadily grew larger until it was a big, shining hole. It was the portal.
Chi-Chi let out a heavy breath. It truly was over. Not that she minded getting out of Hell, but the loss of Goku gave her escape little joy.
She turned to Misai, about to say good-bye, when she suddenly got an idea. "Hey Misai, why don't you come with me?" she suggested. "You could come to Grand Kai's planet with me. You can train to be a warrior, just like you always wanted!"
Misai stared at Chi-Chi for a long time. Then she replied, rather sadly, "No, I can't."
"What do you mean you can't?" Chi-Chi demanded. "You're not a bad person! You were only in Hell because Sita sent you there. I'm sure King Yemma would…"
"It's not that I don't want to," Misai explained. "Believe me, there is nothing I'd want more than to get out of here. But once you're in Hell, it doesn't matter whether you've been good or bad. I'm stuck here," she summarized grimly.
"Oh." Chi-Chi's heart sank. She thought that the pain of losing Goku would have been slightly easier if she had someone to commiserate with. But there was nothing she could do to help the girl if what she said was true.
"Well… I guess this is good-bye, Princess," Misai said in a strained voice, looking very sad.
"Good-bye," Chi-Chi whispered. She hugged Misai tightly, feeling tears in her eyes all over again. Despite their differences, Misai was a good friend --- almost like a sister that Chi-Chi never had. And she was going to miss her terribly.
"I'd better get going," Misai muttered when they broke apart. "I've things to do, in case those ogres find me and throw me back in prison." She started to walk away, then stopped. "Hey, Princess?"
"What?" Chi-Chi asked, not bothering to tell her off for calling her "Princess."
"I'll think about what you said… about not all men being so bad."
Chi-Chi watched Misai go off into the distance until she could no longer see her. Then, with a heavy sigh, she leapt through the portal.
The next thing she knew, she landed hard on the path of Snake Way. The portal quickly closed from behind her. Slowly, she got to her feet.
King Kai and Baba stood in front of her, their faces drawn and sad. At the sight of them, the feeling of grief grew stronger than ever. She was unable to say anything to them; she just stood there, her arms hanging limply from her side, tears falling from her eyes onto the path.
King Kai approached her. "Chi-Chi, I'm --- I'm so sorry," he began gravely. "If there's anything I can do…"
Chi-Chi raised her hand to stop him. "You can't," she replied quietly.
"Don't blame yourself what happened," he told her gently. "It wasn't your fault. You did the best you could. If he'd known what you went through, and how you beat Sita..."
"I have to go," Chi-Chi said automatically. Deep down, she knew that King Kai was trying to help her, but she couldn't bear another minute of this. The sight of their faces and their meaningless words were more than she could stand.
"Where are you going to go?" Baba asked, concerned. "You ought to get those injuries looked at first…
"I will," Chi-Chi replied in a flat, empty voice. "I just… I just need to be alone for a while…"
Slowly, as though her feet were as heavy as lead, she turned and followed Snake Way in the direction of where it began. Dimly, she tried to figure out where to go. She couldn't back to Grand Kai's planet; training and sparring would remind her too much of Goku…
She remembered Goku's final request before he sacrificed himself: he wanted her to forget all about him so that she'd be happy.
How would forgetting you make me happy, Goku? she asked silently. The only thing that kept me going aside from our family was the happy memories I have of you!
The only thing she wanted to forget was the pain she caused him and the guilt that she reaped from it. Yet that, of course, was unlikely to happen.
She couldn't think about this now. For now, she just wanted to find a place to be alone. To rest and let go of the pain…
And maybe forget.
King Kai shook his head sadly long after Chi-Chi had left. "Poor Chi-Chi," he muttered.
He couldn't imagine what she was going through: to literally go through Hell and back, frantically searching for someone she loved… only to have him die, and worse --- having an indirect role in his death. He could only hope that wherever she was going, she'd be all right…
He wasn't feeling too good himself. Goku, his best student, was gone. He had spent his whole life saving people, and in the end, no one had saved him. That was a sad and twisted irony.
If only he had checked Earth more frequently… then he would have known that Sita killed Goku. Had he found out sooner, he could have told his family… Then again, that wouldn't have done much good either. Goku's family couldn't have helped him then because they were alive...
Baba finally broke the silence. "Isn't there something we can do to fix this?" she asked hopelessly. "What about the dragon balls?"
"No," King Kai replied gravely. "The dragon balls can bring a person back to life, but they can't bring a person back to the dead. Once a person is destroyed in Other World, their essence is gone forever."
"I just can't believe Goku's gone," Baba murmured. "I still remember the first time I met him, when he was a little boy…" Her voice broke. "Poor Goku…"
King Kai took a deep breath. "I'd better go contact Gohan and the others," he said heavily. "There's no reason why they shouldn't know about this until they're dead. The least I can do is explain it so that they won't blame Chi-Chi for what happened."
He leaned over the edge of Snake Way, trying to get a connection with Gohan, when Baba glanced at her crystal ball.
"Hold on!" she exclaimed. "Something's going on down there…"
"What do you mean?" King Kai asked, puzzled.
"It's that girl Chi-Chi was with," Baba clarified, peering into her ball. "She's heading back to where Sita's lair was!"
King Kai's confusion arose as he looked into the ball. It didn't make sense. Sita was dead…what was left for the girl at the ruins?
He wasn't sure, but something told him that maybe --- just maybe --- it wasn't over yet.
Why am I doing this? Misai wondered as she approached the piles of rocks and debris that had been Sita's tower only a little while ago.
She got the idea right before she and Chi-Chi parted, and wasn't sure why she was so set on doing it. After all, it wouldn't necessarily make things better for Chi-Chi or her family…
But something inside told her that it was the right thing to do. It wasn't right for a fallen warrior's grave to be the ruins of his prison; he deserved a proper burial. Of course, being buried in Hell wasn't much of an improvement. Still, it was better than nothing.
She briefly wondered whether she should have told Chi-Chi about her plans. No, it was better that she wasn't here. The poor woman had been through enough for one lifetime…
At last, Misai reached the ruins. Retrieving the body wouldn't be easy; she had no idea where it was. But her mind was made up. No matter how long it took, she owed it to Chi-Chi to find and bury her husband's body.
She walked to the middle of the ruins and started digging. It was hard work. The rocks were very heavy, but Misai was able to lift most of them without straining her limbs too badly. Despite her injuries, she still had some strength in her. Or perhaps it was her determination that gave her the strength…
After nearly a half-hour of digging, she uncovered a hand. Elated with her discovery, she cleared away as much of the rubble that surrounded it as she could. When that was done, she grabbed it and yanked hard, pulling out the broken body of Son Goku.
That's funny, Misai thought suspiciously, half-lifting him out of the rocks by his arms and setting it down on top of them. He doesn't feel as cold as he did right after he died… She shook herself. I must be imagining it. He's gone…how can he not be, with halo gone and him lying so still…
She knelt down beside the body, feeling a twinge of pity for the dead man. He looked worse than he had looked when they found him. The old scars and his arms, chest, and face had reopened, no doubt caused by when the tower collapsed. At least his limbs were still intact --- aside from the arm that Sita had crippled.
Why should I feel sorry for him? Misai wondered, confused by her own emotions. I didn't know him. I didn't even like him; after what Princess told me, I thought that he was just like the other men…
But he gave his life for her. How many men would have done that for their wives?
Once, Misai had thought that her brother would have done the same thing for her. Yet he had been more than willing to have her killed as soon as he found out that she had been responsible for his best friend's death. Surely, when Sita told Goku that Chi-Chi had "asked" Sita to take him to Hell, he would have done the same thing in a heartbeat…
Only he didn't. He refused to believe it and was willing to sacrifice the little strength he had to help her, even after he came to believe that she had really hated him.
"Maybe I judged him too quickly," Misai thought aloud. "She said that when I met him, I'd change my mind about him..."
She stared at Goku's face. "Too bad we'll never know," she said sadly. "Perhaps I would have changed my mind… if you really were everything that she said you were."
She stood up. Now where to take the body? She couldn't drag it back down the mountain; it was too far. But she couldn't bury the body near here, the ground in Hell was rocky and unsuitable for digging a hole…
Just then, she heard a faint moan from behind her. She turned around, and let out a scream of terror.
The corpse was sitting up and stumbling to his feet! But how could it be? Misai quickly got a hold of herself. He must have been turned into a zombie somehow, just like Sita's other victims! That was the only reasonable explanation…
"Another zombie, eh?" Misai snarled, getting into a fighting stance. "Fine, I can handle one more!"
The man blinked. "Zombie?" he slurred, disoriented.
No, he can't be a zombie, Misai realized suddenly. He wouldn't have become a zombie unless Sita used her magic to control his body. And Sita's dead…Besides, zombies don't have halos---
The halo! Misai quickly looked up. The halo had returned, hovering over the man's head.
Impossible! It hadn't been there a few moments ago! She had watched him die with her own eyes! There was no way a person could come back after being destroyed in the afterlife! Yet here he was, standing before her…
"Oh my…" Misai gasped, backing away from Goku. "You've come back! But… how?"
To be continued…
A/N: He's baaa-aaack! ::starts a parade with the other reviewers:: Oh come on, you guys knew that I couldn't keep him dead! ::hugs Goku:: Don't worry, there's a reasonable explanation for how he came back, which will be explained in the next chapter.
Anyway, I decided to update early because I have finals this week. Friday is my last day of school. I'm going to be a senior next year! Yay! And now, to the reviews.
Lady Thundera: In your review, I meant to apologize if you thought that I did plagiarize. Sorry for the confusion, I have a nasty habit of apologizing unnecessarily. I agree, I'm getting sick of it too. Good point about the whole wedding night thing, by the way. I never thought of it that way. Still, didn't the fire destroy the Ox-King's castle when they had the wedding? Unless they waited until it was rebuilt to have the wedding… I don't know, I'll have to watch my DVD.
Sita and Jafar? No offense, but EW! LOL! Yes, Jafar is just as nasty as Sita, but the thought of him ending up with someone is just gross. I remember seeing Aladdin (I must have been five then), and the part when Jasmine had to ::gag:: kiss Jafar in order to buy Aladdin time to steal the lamp. My reaction was similar to the ones of Iago, Abu, and Aladdin --- "Yuck!" Of course, that may have been do to the fact that this was back when I thought kissing, even in cartoons, was gross, but still, poor Jasmine. But yeah, I see what you're going at. Jafar can be as manipulative as Sita, like the sequel, "Return of Jafar" when he kidnapped the Sultan and framed Aladdin for the murder, and to put icing to the cake, he turned himself into Jasmine, accusing him of killing her father. I almost thought that it was really Jasmine until he changed back into his normal form… Whoa, it just occurred to me that that part is similar to when Sita changed into Chi-Chi to make Goku miserable. Weird!
Candy: I hope you found something positive in this chapter!
Angel of Light: See A/N above. Chi-Chi's one of my favorites too.
Reeves: Thank you!
SSJ Chika: It's all right. I've been having Internet problems too.
Misao: School is almost over for me too. I loved Shrek 2, especially Puss in Boots. My favorite part was the "Cops" spoof --- "Look what I found! Catnip!" "Um… that is not mine."
Blo0d: Yes, Sita's dead! Let's celebrate!
Z-man: I updated!
Caryl Mc: YES! I was hoping that someone would start singing "Ding Dong the Witch is dead!" Ten points to you, Carrie2sky, and Sara for singing it! :) Yes, Chi-Chi's feeling really bad right now, but little does she know, things are looking up! Too handsome to die? LOL! Personally, I agree, but I wouldn't make comments like that around Chi-Chi if I were you… Yes, things are going to get better.
KC: Thank you!
Lady Athena X: Thanks for your support, I really appreciate it. I've seen those Disney direct-to-video sequels on the Disney Channel, and you're absolutely right: it is cliched. No, Goku's not gone. You'll find out what's going to happen to Misai in the next chapter. You added me to your favorites? Wow, thank you! :)
Jessica C: More angst in this chapter, but I guarantee there will be happier moments in the remaining chapters.
Kinosei: Thanks for your support about that review I got. No, Goku isn't a hemophiliac, LOL! Valid points, but it's only a story, so I guess you can get away with things like that. Well, it's not over yet… I'm kind of afraid of your reaction about Goku coming back after reading your review, but there is a reason for it. I'm not sure if you'll find it believable, but I had this planned out for a while… Don't worry, your last review wasn't offensive, it was constructive criticism, and I appreciate that. I'm glad that you think that Goku and Chi-Chi are in character.
Clarobell: He's back, thank goodness!
Carrie2sky: Good job for singing my favorite Wizard of Oz song and catching the Princess Bride inspiration! That was my favorite line in the whole movie! Yes, there is still hope for Goku and Chi-Chi. Chi-Chi just doesn't know it yet.
Kakkabrat: Goku's back, and you'll find out why in the next part.
Mujitsu: My Internet problem is gone, thank goodness. You're right, Goku can never stay dead for too long. He's like the phoenix… always rising from the ashes.
I won't tell: Oh lord, I never noticed that Amar was Rama spelled backwards! Amar was just the first name that popped into my head when I was writing about Misai's past, oddly enough. Good job spotting that!
Sara: Ten points for singing "Ding dong the witch is dead!" God, I love that song! Hmmm… would Goku have shown Sita mercy, if given the chance to kill her? Good question.
Shera Highwind: It seems likely now, doesn't it?
VidelChan313: So far, it looks like prediction A was right, but you'll have to wait to find out for sure.
Kai: No, it wasn't all for nothing, although Chi-Chi still thinks it was at the moment.