Freedom
Chapter 16
Lead Me Home.

~*~*~*~*~

eien o shireba donna kurayami mo
itami mo itsuka kiete
sou yatte ima wa watashi o yogoshite
zutto mukashi mita tenkuu no shiro ni
itsuka wa tadoritsukeru
shinjutsu no uta o michishirube ni shite

~*~*~*~*~

Kaoru walked down the sidewalk leading away from the path. What does freedom mean? She asked herself. My whole life I've always wanted to be free, but maybe what I thought freedom was is not a real thing. Kaoru stopped at an alley way and sat down. Does freedom really mean not having to pay for things? Kaoru got to her feet and began to walk again. She needed to find out the truth.

Kaoru walked down maybe four or five blocks until she came to a large building. The stairs were filled with people of all ages and genders. Some were walking up or down them while others sat reading books.

Kaoru took a deep breath and walked up to a young woman reading a rather large book. Excuse me, but what is this place?

It's the library. The women answered.

Kaoru began to walk away before she turned back around. What is a library?

Are you serious? Her voice was shocked, but she still answered once she saw Kaoru nod. Okay, well a library is a place with lots of books. Anything you want to know is easy to find.

Kaoru began to run off. Thank you! She yelled over her shoulder.

~*~*~*~*~

May I help you? A woman asked from behind a desk.

Kaoru turned around to a desk made of some type of wood. It was rather large and intimidating, much like the rest of the building. A kind, older looking woman with glasses on gave Kaoru an understanding nod. Umm... I want to know what a word means.

Please remember to whisper. The woman reminded Kaoru. What word?

Kaoru said quietly.

Follow me please. The woman told her. She walked down one row towards another and finally she stopped in front of a large self. There she pulled out a book, flipped a couple of pages and handed it to Kaoru.

Kaoru looked at it until she finally got up the nerve. Could you please tell me what it says?

Freedom...a being free; independence; civil or political liberty; exceptions from an obligation, discomfort, etc.; a being able to act, use, etc. freely; ease of movement; frankness; a right or privilege. She put the book back and looked at Kaoru. Does that help?

Umm, I guess so. Thank you. Kaoru said and then she turned around and left.

~*~*~*~*~

Slow down Kenshin! Sano yelled as he gripped the dash board of the car. What's the point of driving fast when you don't exactly know where your going?

Don't say that. Kenshin said in a hoarse voice. I know exactly where she is.

Sano looked up at him. You do? Where then?

Away from me. He said quietly.

Sano looked at him harder and raised an eyebrow. He's really lost it. He thought to himself. Megumi was right. If Kaoru doesn't come back soon then Battousai will come back instead. Sano concluded.

Kenshin tried to fight it, but it was hard. Every alley or park they checked that Kaoru wasn't at only made it harder to keep his past just that...his past. The day was slowly turning into night and the longer they looked the angrier Kenshin got.

Um...Kenshin? Maybe we should go home and start again tomorrow. Sano said. You know you've still got Yahiko to look after.

Kenshin was reluctant to turn around, but Sano was right. He had lost Kaoru, but he still had the responsibility of keeping Yahiko safe. Kaoru was the one that asked Kenshin to take care of him after all.

The streets were dark like Kenshin was becoming. He drove down the streets back home and once there he didn't even look at Sano as he got out of the car and walked to the apartment. He could hear the TV blaring loudly through the door. When he walked in he saw Yahiko sleeping on the couch with his mouth wide open and snores escaping. Kenshin then saw a note on the table and he didn't need to read it to know that it was from Megumi. Nothing mattered though.

Kenshin walked down the hall and started to walk into his own room when Kaoru's room caught his eye. Slowly he walked towards it and forced himself to walk inside. Once inside his breathing began to shorten. He kept turning around in circles allowing Kaoru's left over aura to envelope him. It was such a warm and inviting aura.

He walked over to the closet and opened the door to look at her clothes. He reached out and brushed his hand over the varied materials. All the clothes were clothes that he'd bought her. He could still see her in the clothes. She was so beautiful. He whispered.

He then walked away from the closet and sat down on the bed. He sat there until he saw two boxes sitting in the corner. He quickly got up and walked over to them. Kenshin sat down in front of them and looked inside of the top one. The first thing he pulled out was the locket. It was beautiful. He could still remember Kaoru's odd reaction when they went through the boxes. It was as if she'd forgotten how to grieve.

He laid the locket back in the box and pulled out the photo album. He opened it and dragged his fingers over the picture. Oh Kaoru. Why did you leave me?

Do you really think that she did it on purpose? Yahiko asked from the doorway.

Kenshin looked up, his hand still on the picture, and stared at Yahiko. What do you mean? He asked quietly.

Yahiko walked over to Kenshin and sat down next to him. I mean did she think that she had no other choice.

Kenshin looked back to the picture. I don't really know. He then shook his head roughly and quickly got to his feet. You should get to bed. Morning will come early.

Do I have to go to school? I want to help you search for Kaoru. Yahiko complained.

Kenshin walked to the window and shook his head. Miss Kaoru would not be happy to hear that you did not take your chance to go to school.

Yahiko sighed, but did as he was told. Megumi had told him not to argue with Kenshin especially in his current state of mind.

Kenshin didn't watch him leave. He didn't want to see the crushed look on his face. He felt bad for Yahiko. He didn't deserve to be put through such sad things.

Kenshin walked over to the bed and sat down, the picture still in his hand. He stared at it while he thought of what to do. It wasn't right of him to have Yahiko live with him now. It wasn't safe either. Kenshin was losing control of him self and that wasn't a good thing. He tried to stop it, but he couldn't. Why am I losing control? He asked himself.

Once he looked at the picture it became clear to him. It's because I have never given my heart away before. He'd made a vow to himself a long time ago to never kill again. That vow was what kept his heart warm and kept him from becoming the Battousai again. But once he met Kaoru, slowly he began to rely on her spirit, her aura, for the warm that kept his heart from freezing. Now that she was gone his warmth had left also. The one thing that he relied on to keep his heart warm was gone.

He knew that with out Kaoru, keeping Battousai away was a losing battle. The only thing he could do was make sure that Yahiko was safe.

Tomorrow he'd take Yahiko to school and then speak with Mr. Toyogawa. After all that he would be able to spend most of his time looking for Kaoru. He was sure that he'd find her sooner or later. He just hoped that it was sooner.

~*~*~*~*~

Kaoru sat on the park bench that she'd slept on the night before and stared up at the stars. She held her hand to her stomach hoping that she could stop it from growling. I'm so hungry. She whispered. It'd been a while since she'd gone hungry. It'd been a while since I've gone through a lot of this stuff. It was tough not to go back to Kenshin. She wanted to go back to him so bad. Even Yahiko's snide comments are better than this!

There was no way that she would allow herself to go back though. She had no intention on putting them in danger. Everyone is safer with me out of their lives.

Her whole life she'd kept her eyes to the stars. Her father told Kaoru before he died that stars were what led people home. Where would they lead me? She asked. She didn't have a home so where would it take her. Would it take her back to the bench every night, back to the gang house, or maybe back to Kenshin. Which was her home?

Once again she laid down on the bench and tried to get at least a couple minutes of sleep. It was so cold though! Kaoru rested her head on her arm and watched her breath. It was so cold that she could see it. Once again she began to miss having a warm bed, but Kenshin's and the others lives were worth her suffering.

A tear slid down her face and before others could come she shut her eyes tightly and took deep breaths. She needed to sleep and crying was not going to make it easier. Life for some is just hard. That was just a reality that Kaoru had to deal with.

~*~*~*~*~

Damn! Why is this so hard? Susumu asked out loud. He turned to the man standing in front of his desk. How could someone so unlucky stay just out of our reach? What are we doing wrong?

Sir, I have a feeling that the guy that she is with is the secret. The other man said.

I agree. That man isn't ordinary. There is something very different about him, but we won't need to worry to much about him. A smile then graced his lips. Kamiya seemed to be very upset with the fact that he was hurt.

Do you think she'll leave him? The man asked.

If she hasn't changed to much. Susumu answered. That's why I want us to patrol the streets.

Yes Susumu. I'll get some people out there right away. With that the other man walked out of the room.

Susumu picked op the phone and dialed a number. Boss this is Susumu.

I gave you a job to fulfill and you haven't. I am loosing trust in you. He answered.

Just give me some more time. I've got people looking after her right now. The man she was with is also injured. Susumu said.

Fine! You don't have long though. The line quickly went dead.

Susumu shook his head and got up. He needed a drink. His boss was upset and that wasn't good.

~*~*~*~*~

Night descended on the people, but it was not a restful one. Susumu slept well, but most people believed that he had no conscience. They argued that if he had one then there would be no way that he could do the things he did. They would claim that the evil had no conscience and he was just that...evil.

If that was true then Battousai was something different. Kenshin's eyes only showed a large spec of violet left. Memories that he'd tried so hard to forget came back, as well as the old habits. Many would say that Battousai was evil, but they could never categorize Susumu and him together. On the outside it would seem that Battousai himself had no conscience, but once again that was further from the truth. It was the mask that he wore. In truth every night after a mission it was hard to do anything. The slightest thing upsetted him. That was why he'd decided to make the promise not to kill. He figured that with it sleeping would come much easier, and instead of scrutinizing everything around him he could look at it as a whole and for its simplicity. Instead of trying to find the reason of why a blade of grass swayed in one direction he could just smile to himself and think It is only the wind. The sad thing was instead of that happening, his paranoia took on a new form. Instead of people coming after him to kill him it would be to find his true identity.

Kenshin now laid awake on top of Kaoru's bed. Sleep wasn't coming and from what he remembered, it wouldn't come for awhile. The best he could hope for was a nap. He held his hand up in the air and stared at its silhouette. So many lives had been taken with this hand and yet Kaoru didn't look repulsed by it. Couldn't she see the stains on them? Of coarse she could, but that was what was so special about her. She knew that the stains were not a true representation of himself. Or did she?

Was it true that the reason she left was because she feared for others safety or was that a lie. Was the real reason she left was to get away from him. Did she leave to keep her self safe from him? If that was true though, then wouldn't she have taken Yahiko also?

Kenshin growled in annoyance before flipping over on to his side. He had to use every last part of his strength to keep his battousai form from appearing anymore than it had already. He watched the lights of the apartments across from his building flick on and off through the window as Kaoru's scent which lingered there, drifted into his nose. This is to much! He growled. His better judgment told him to go back to his own room, but he couldn't. He closed his eyes, but didn't sleep.

~*~*~*~*~

The sun penetrated through the leaves and one aimed its light right into her eyes. Kaoru groaned before sitting up. Another thing she hated about sleeping out side was having to wake up with the sun. Kaoru stretched her arms up to the sky, hooking her wrists together and arching her back. With a yawn she got to her feet and walked out of the park. She was on a mission to find food.

She walked away from the park and onto a sidewalk with a large apartment building and many restaurants on it. A familiar smell began to fill her senses. It was the smell of smoke. Smoke? Why was it so strong? Kaoru walked a little further until her question was answered. One of the restaurants was on fire. People stood outside, but she saw no fire men.

Kaoru quickly ran up to the group and listened in. From what she heard, it was a family owned business. In the front of the group a little girl was kneeling on the ground. Slowly Kaoru crept forward and kneeled next to the girl. Where are your parents? She asked gently.

The little girl looked up at her, and Kaoru felt as if her heart was going to stop. She looked so much like herself when Kaoru was young. My father...is dead and my mom...is inside the fire. She stuttered.

Kaoru looked up at the burning building and felt sadness wash over her. She wouldn't let another child start life like she had. Don't worry. She'll be okay. She told the young girl before she got to her feet. With one deep breath she took off in a sprint into the blazing building.

~*~*~*~*~

Hey Kenshin! Yahiko yelled from the living room.

Kenshin walked out of Kaoru's room and entered the room. What is it?

Yahiko sat on the couch. his eyes on the TV. Look. One of the restaurants is on fire. They say that a mother is still in there and a witness said that a young women ran in there after the women. Yahiko turned to look at Kenshin. She must be brave, right?

Kenshin nodded as he took a seat next to Yahiko. He knew that he needed to get Yahiko to school, but for some reason, he was mesmerized by the news. For some other odd reason he was afraid of the out come of the incident.

The TV showed a women in her thirties kneeling next to a little girl. Kenshin's breath caught as he realized how she looked like Kaoru's picture of herself when she was young. Is that your mother in there? The reporter asked.

The little girl nodded before responding. But the lady said she would be okay.

The TV once again scanned towards the burning building.

~*~*~*~*~

Kaoru stood in the entry way of the building before she dropped to her knees. It was too dark to see anything, but she had to get the mother out of there. If it meant her dying for that daughter to have her mother back, then she was prepared to except that fact.

~*~*~*~*~

Translation~
Shinjitsu no uta (Song Of Truth), Inuyasha

eien o shireba donna kurayami mo
itami mo itsuka kiete
sou yatte ima wa watashi o yogoshite
zutto mukashi mita tenkuu no shiro ni
itsuka wa tadoritsukeru
shinjutsu no uta o michishirube ni shite


If eternity knows what manner of darkness
and when pain will vanish,
then that way, you shall taint me
I looked always to yesterday, to the castles in the sky
when will I be able to follow them?
This song of truth shall be my guide.



A.N.~

Was that a real big cliffy? Will she make it out alive? Will Kenshin come and save her? I might add the next chapter sooner if I get a whole bushel of reviews! Still waiting patiently for art work. PLEASE REVIEW! It's what keeps this story going!



For The Reviewer's~

Serene Faerie~ Thank you so much for that encouragement. My whole thing with the art is that I don't think I'm that good so why encourage it? Mou, why can't they let me be invisible? I'm good at that.

CurlsofSerenity~ Thanks for reviewing and the spelling correction. I always have trouble with things like that and when i read back through my work, words like that are most the times overlooked.

Crystal Renee~ Oh I can't wait to see it! Hmmm, if my parents weren't calling me a low self confidence freak then maybe I'd use that whole invasion of privacy thing, but as of now it's no use. I just hope I can get it over with quickly and go back into my invisibility! Thanks a bunch though!

Wolf^_^X~ Thanks!

Kawaii Kokkei Tsuita no Neko~ NO!!!! I need you! Heeheee. Okay yea you'll just have to see what happens! Mawahahaa *Cough*Gasp*Wheeze*!

Angle1~ I don't really know. Wish I could help you there, but if I do find out anything then I'll be sure to tell you!

aglaia102~ I hope you like this chapter too.

Lil-Sun-Rie~ Haahaa. That's funny. *Looks around suspiciously* AHHHH! I must run and update!

inuyasha0024~Okay so Susumu wants to have kaoru back so much because her family were all killed by him and his gang. If he lets her go then he has been defeated by her. It's like a whole umm...power trip thing. Does that make since? Umm... like instead of giving up since it no longer matters so much, you just keep going because its the whole principle of the matter. I hope that helps.

Inuyasha~ I know it is sad, but things aren't always happy, ne? Wish they were though!
Ginny-Cry~ { ^_~ }

Kenshin-gotenks~ I'm so sorry! Just wait and see. ^_^

BabyKaoru-Sama~ Thank you SO much for reviewing! It really makes a difference! I would die with out them!



In My Head~

Okay so I've seen Pirates of the Caribbean 3 times and am going again tonight for the fourth! I just saw it Wednesday! Twice in just a three day span! And get this! For Halloween my friend is going as Edward Scissorhands and I'm going as Captain Jack Sparrow! We're both girls too! It's going to be so much fun! My other friends are going as Pippy Longstockings and my other one is going to were a kimono. I don't know what the guys in our group are going as, but it'll be cool. After trick or treating the girls are going to stay at one house and watch Edward Scissorhands and Friday the 13th! Do you guys have any recommendations? I love Halloween! I can't wait to go see the movie again tonight! I'm in Heaven!


Dark Kishi,
PLEASE REVIEW! I LOVE THEM ALL!!!!
There are no bad reviews, only unwritten ones!

We Walk In Shadows
One Step At A Time
Until That Day
We Can Cross The Line.

Now...bring me that horizon. [hums and takes out his compass] And really bad eggs. Drink up, me 'arties yo ho.
~Captain Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean