Laced
Disclaimer: don't own anything, 'who makes you feel' by Dido.
Rating: PG-13
Spoiler: Season 10 Finale
Pairing: Luka/Abby
Summary: Luka is plagued with insomnia, while Abby can't remember what happened. In the morning she gets quiet a few visitors and Luka gets a phone call.
Part 6: Perfect Moment
Luka couldn't sleep that night. He'd thought about crashing in one of the rooms at the hospital, just so he'd be closer if Abby somehow woke up during the night. However, Kerry and Susan ganged up on him and told him if he didn't go home he wouldn't be able to function normally tomorrow morning, when Abby would most likely wake up.
It made perfect sense but he couldn't shake off the guilty feeling as he changed out of scrubs and put on his jacket. "Just go home, she wont wake up till tomorrow morning anyway." Susan was telling him as he was heading home.
So now he was here, at 3 o'clock in the morning, and unable to close his eyes without seeing Abby's lifeless body sprawled against the hospital wall, as he'd found her after Lara ran into the ER. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to spend the night away from the hospital but he could do little now, as much as he couldn't fall asleep his body had retired for the night.
It'd been a long day even before Abby. He saved a little boy's life and that always made him feel like he was doing something right, but there was a nagging in the back of his head that pushed him through the night sleepless.
What had Abby needed to talk to Lara about so desperately that she had to call her and ask her to come down to the hospital? It was obvious the only person who could answer his questions was knocked out by sleeping pills. Luka had seen how torn Lara looked that afternoon.
Choosing how much information to divulge not to implicate her best friend, but also to keep her health in mind. That's why Luka hadn't pushed her so hard, eventually Abby would wake up and she'd give Luka her own verdict of the situation, perhaps she really did have anemia, or perhaps her being overworked and all took a toll on her.
All these questions suddenly became the cure for his insomnia, and with his face frozen in a despairing expression Luka finally succumbed to sleep…
First thing she saw was darkness. First thing she heard was the IV dripping and the fluid making its way into her vein via a long tube she'd seen countless time, but this time it frightened her because it was attached to her body.
" Oh god." She rubbed the back of her head, as she struggled to sit up, but the drug induced sleep numbed her body completely, and she couldn't push herself up into a sitting position. Stubborn to the core she tried to push herself up, but failed miserably, and if possible became even more tired after the minimal energy she had, had been spent a few minutes before.
Abby collapsed back into the bed, and looked at the ceiling. What time was it? The hospital seemed dead, but this part of it usually was, since this was the convalescence wing, where patients stayed for the last few days of their visit to County.
She was thirsty, her mouth felt dry and her throat was scratchy, and to top it all of she couldn't remember anything since her conversation with Lara. Had she fainted? What happened? Was she in an accident? No, that wasn't possible, all her limbs were attached and she didn't feel in any sort of pain, except the numbing kind that told her she'd been given a sleeping pill.
Lack of memory was driving her crazy, and her mind was in overdrive, brainstorming on possible reasons why she was in this compromising position. Then suddenly as the IV annoyingly dropped more fluid into her system, she'd remembered something.
Every patient's medical chart was in a pocket in front of the bed, and if she could just sit up, she'd be able to reach it. Taking a deep but quiet breath, in case someone was nearby, she sat up finally and felt her hand around the foot of the bed.
Her toes were tingling with prickly sensations and Abby realized that if she didn't remove her IV soon, she'd be back asleep, and wake up even groggier the next morning. Before she retrieved her chart she carefully pulled the bandaged needle out of her inner elbow then used the inside of her sheet to semi cleanse the open laceration.
It didn't hurt, but Abby felt pseudo relief as the last of the medicine passed through her system. Of course by the time it traveled through her entire body she'd be half way to dream world. It didn't matter however, reaching over to flip on the night lamp, Abby wasn't expecting that source of light to have such a negative affect on her.
Her head began to throb, and her vision doubled. She couldn't focus on the writing of the chart; she could only make out words and phrases.
'Collapsed outside of ambulance bay'
'Anemic'
'Low iron count'
What the hell was going on? God she wished she wasn't alone, and that someone was near her to explain what had transpired in the last how many hours? She didn't even know what time it was!
Sighing, Abby closed her eyes and leaned over, switching off the lamplight, she could see the first signs of life being produced outside, and realized it was almost sunrise, was that around 5 am? Yeah, she always woke up with the sun, now she was falling asleep to it, wishing very deeply and somewhat guiltily that Luka were here…
There were just some deathly cold mornings on which even if you hopped into the shower and turned the heat on until the knob couldn't move anymore to the left, you still couldn't get warm. Your toes still tingled with iciness, and there was not a damn thing you could do about it. Now usually Luka prided himself on being able to stand the cold, but on a morning like this, he couldn't.
Drinking way too many cups of coffee, he'd been up since 5 am, and since he was only on at 8:30, he decided to hop into the shower 30 minutes ago. It was 7 and as soon as the caffeine kicked in and drained his body of any warmth, his only motivation to get to work on time was Abby. For the entire two hours he was asleep he was plagued with nightmares, nightmares of what ifs, and what could've happened during the time he was asleep.
Knowing his coworkers they would do all they could to help Abby before calling him, and that irritated him particularly today. Didn't they understand how important it was for him to know how she was? Didn't they understand that whatever was life threatening for her was life threatening to him too since that day she kissed him in the ambulance bay?
Obviously they weren't stupid people, all well educated and respected, but sometimes Luka couldn't fathom what they were thinking, while doing certain things. In his moment of bitter cold and coffee overload Luka cursed about the American lifestyle, and then the phone rang.
It was Susan, and she informed him that Abby woke up…
Susan had taken the night shift, and it was nearing 7 in the morning. Dr. Chen as already dressed and ready to take over and Dr. Lewis only had one more errand to run. She decided not to change yet, and took the elevator up to the convalescence wing to check on Abby, something told her Dr. Lockhart was finally awake.
Susan's suspicions were proven right when she entered Room 202 and saw Abby standing by the window and drinking something from a Styrofoam cup.
"You should be in bed." Susan said softly, not to disturb her friend, who was looking out the window.
"I couldn't sleep." Abby lied, and stared out into the pouring rain. Susan walked up to her and looked inside the cup.
"Then coffee is the last thing you need." She quickly took the cup out of Abby's hands and walked over to the wastebasket.
"I can't open my eyes without it." Abby gave Susan half a smile in spite of her dreary mood, something told her Dr. Lewis was tired and sleepy and just wanted to go home, but not before she answered some questions.
" Susan, what happened to me?" Abby asked softly as the blonde doctor moved her back to the bed and decided to measure her blood pressure.
After a few minutes of silence, Susan freed Abby's arm and told her everything was fine, and yet Abby still felt disoriented, confused, and most of all very, very small compared to the rest of the world. " Are you ever going to answer my question?" She asked tentatively, and Susan nodded as she checked Abby out further with a stethoscope.
" Yes, well, around 2 pm Lara runs into the ER screaming that you passed out in the ambulance bay. We got you into a trauma room and your blood pressure was through the roof, we fixed that, then your tests came back and your iron count is low. Also you're only running on caffeine and now that you're trying to quit smoking, all of that combined with lack of nutrition caused you to faint." Susan said soothingly, trying to divulge the information slowly.
" And I didn't wake up for how long?" Abby asked suspiciously, wondering if there was something Susan wasn't telling her.
" We gave you a sleeping pill and Luka has this crazy idea that you might've suffered a mental breakdown." Susan explained and suddenly Abby couldn't help but smile, even though irony was washing over her like a tidal wave.
" Not so crazy Dr. Lewis." She said, finding it incredibly ironic that the person she was stressed over had come to the best conclusion. Susan looked at her with slightly confused blue eyes, and Abby decided that Susan could keep a secret…
Luka made it to the hospital in record time. Twenty minutes before his shift started, and he bypassed the locker room and the greetings from his coworkers. He only had one thing on his mind and that was to see Abby alive and well, hopefully smiling.
He hated it when she was sad. He rode the elevator up to the convalescence wing, and then nearly sprinted down the hallway to her room. When he opened the door, his smile fell instantly.
There sat Abby, on the edge of her bed, while Carter sat in a chair opposite her playing some sort of card game. Luka stifled a rueful chuckle, and walked into the room somewhat composed.
"Good morning." He said in his best rendition of a cheerful tone.
Abby turned around immediately, sensing that he was displeased just by the look he gave her, yet she didn't lead on that she knew this, turning back to her game she ducked her head.
Her memory was coming back slowly since her conversation with Susan that morning. To say the least, Abby was very surprised when she realized that Susan wasn't really at all shocked that she still had feelings for Luka. And that on top of everything was probably the cause for her overnight hospital stay.
Susan's blatant response was, "Tell him because I know he feels the same."
She hadn't asked her colleague for evidence of why she felt that way, but Abby was pretty damn sure that it had something to do with him taking care of her while she was unconscious. The chart was signed by Dr. Kovac and that was enough proof for Abby to know that the mysterious dream she had of Luka kissing her forehead and promising everything to be alright was merely a memory disguised as a dream.
Abby couldn't believe how quickly her thinking had changed; she had been so stupid to believe he felt no emotion toward her. She'd been the one to break things off and her low self-esteem prevented her from thinking that Luka might actually reciprocate her love.
"Hey, you want to join us?" John asked politely, breaking the coagulating silence in the room.
Neither Abby nor Luka said anything to him, their eyes stayed frozen on each other, a million things running through both their heads, unable to stop the wave of emotions that raced through their bodies. John felt like he was almost intruding on an intimate moment, but he couldn't make himself leave.
Luka finally spoke, "You got checked out?" He asked softly, his attention mainly toward his patient, but his eyes darting back and forth between her and Carter.
"Yes." Abby nodded with a small smile, brown hair flinging every which way, "By two of our very best." She added, and immediately Luka's eyes fell on Carter's stethoscope.
"Susan came by." Carter informed, just to add his voice into the conversation.
Luka thanked him silently, only a look exchanged between the two men, and John stood up.
"Well I'll respect patient/doctor confidentiality and be on my way. I have a few more of my own patients to visit." He leaned down and cautiously placed a kiss on Abby's cheek, which obviously didn't go unnoticed by Luka or his well-masked jealousy.
Why did Carter get to kiss her when she was awake, and he only allowed himself to do so when she was unconscious? Perhaps because they hadn't had any sort of physical contact since before he took off to Africa.
This was his punishment for going there, and not acting on his initial instinct to screw the Doctors Without Borders program and stay with Abby in Chicago. Granted he wouldn't exactly be with her, but their friendship would surely develop. They wouldn't dance around each other like they were on fire.
Taking a small gulp of whatever was in the Styrofoam cup, Abby watched as John and Luka exchanged silent goodbyes and Luka walked closer to the bed. So many questions, he thought, wondering if she was going to answer them.
"Where's your uniform Dr. Kovac?" She asked with the slightest hint of flirtation.
Luka looked down and realized he was still in his street clothes, and he couldn't help but smile.
"Sorry, I got backtracked earlier today." He stretched the truth, hoping Abby hadn't seen the amount of enthusiasm that circled around him when he'd just walked in.
"Weaver?" Abby remained oblivious, unless she was lying.
"Yeah, somewhat, and unfinished paperwork." Obviously, he was lying. He couldn't very well tell her he'd been so consumed with the need to see her, he rushed upstairs without changing. Silence intensified as Abby collected the deck of cards John brought along with him.
"Abby?" Luka looked at her through worried eyes, "What happened?" Abby refused to meet his glance, and instead crawled back under the covers, feeling exceptionally cold all of the sudden. She didn't know how much she could tell him, how much she should divulge.
It all came down to this moment, and Abby wasn't sure she could handle the pressure without succumbing to stress again.
"I haven't been myself lately." She began, but Luka interjected, "You're trying to quit smoking?" Abby nodded, brushing away a strand of hair, she still had to take breaks between thoughts, trying to sculpture the best rhetoric with which to break this news to her ex boyfriend.
He remained attentive, despite the fact that inside Luka was itching to take her into his arms and never letting go, forsaking all other people and not caring about her explanation. Being with her was always enough.
Yet he owed it to himself and his pride to know what caused her to end up in a hospital bed, and he needed to relieve his suspicion of the fact that it might've had something to do with him.
When Abby looked up at him again, adrenaline rushed through her body. What was wrong with her? This was Luka, he would accept and love her no matter what, and even if only as a friend at least the burden of him not knowing would be lifted.
Just as she opened her mouth to confess, a small beeping sound reverberated through the room. Luka sat motionless for a moment, lost in the silent exchange between them, until he realized he was being paged.
"Fuck." He murmured, which elicited a chuckle from Abby, despite how serious their conversation was about to turn.
"I don't think I've ever heard you curse." She admitted thoughtfully.
"You never really listened." He said quietly, not intending for his words to have a double meaning, though they evidently did.
Abby turned solemn again, and Luka chastised himself for making her smile disappear. "My shift starts in five minutes, I need to go, but I think Lara will be here soon, she told me to call her as soon as you wake up." He said.
"Oh, knowing her she already called the hospital ten times." Abby scoffed, and looked a little bit away, trying to avoid his gaze.
"Good, then you won't be alone." He said and stood up. Abby expected him to leave the room, but he stepped closer to the bed and squeezed her hand, "Feel better, I'll try to get you discharged as soon as possible, if you promise me we'll talk tonight." He compromised; realizing perhaps the only way he'd get anything out of her is by bargaining.
"If I'm home tonight, why don't you stop by after your shift?" She suggested, not at all intimidated by his hovering figure, more so turned on by his dominance.
"Will do." He managed a small smile, which Abby returned, fervently wishing he would kiss her already. She could feel her cheeks envelope in heat as his lips inched closer and closer to hers.
It was the perfect moment, silent, and powerful, making her forget their jaded history together and everything in between. Luka kept eye contact the entire time, and couldn't wait to taste her lips again, but just as he was a centimeter away, the annoyed voice of Kerry Weaver cut through the serene atmosphere of the room.
"Dr. Kovac, your shift starts in two minutes, be glad I came upstairs now, because for what you were about to do, you'd need more time than that." The petite woman smiled and turned away from the couple, walking out into the hallway.
She'd shown mercy by giving them a minute of privacy but the perfect moment was gone and Abby longed for it to return.
"I'll call Lara, she'll be delighted to keep you company." Luka teased and Abby rolled her eyes.
"Go away Dr. Kovac, I'll be fine." She ushered him out of the room, and when she could no longer see or hear him, she reclined even further into the bed and thought,
"Damn it Weaver!"
Who makes you feel the way that I make you feel
Who loves you and knows you the way I do
Who touches you and holds you quite like I do
Who makes you feel like I make you feel?
TBC…