Shindemo Ii

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket and its characters do not belong to me, they are the property of Natsuki Takaya. I'm just borrowing them for a while...

Pairings: none, though feel free to read it however you like

Warnings: angst, mild swearing, character death (?)

Spoilers: will have spoilers for episode 26 (takes place a short while after)

Ch.4

As Kyo and Kagura neared the others both suddenly became aware of loud noises coming from the direction of their destination--Yuki's hospital room.

What the--? Kyo wondered. The cat in him strained his ears slightly to hear what was going on, as he and Kagura hurried to see what was happening.

That's enough, Hatsuharu. Hatori's stern voice was saying.

No! I won't leave him!



Hatsuharu, I thought we agreed--

Well, I changed my mind! Heh, just try and force me to leave, c'mon, I dare ya!

Kyo muttered, as he and Kagura arrived to find the source of the commotion: Black Haru. What the hell's going on? he demanded, eyeing the scene from the doorway.

Tohru was watching worriedly, hovering protectively by Yuki's bedside, unsure of what to do. Hatori stood inside by the doorway, an exasperated expression having made its way to his face; his patience seemed to be wearing thin. Between them, in all his dark glory, stood Haru, or rather, Black Haru, who glared at his older cousin in defiance.

Hatori sighed. I explained to Hatsuharu that he could only stay a few minutes, but now it seems he has... other ideas.

I'm not leaving!

Yes, we've established that, Ha-kun. Shigure pointed out, standing safely outside the hospital room.

Hatsuharu-san, please, Tohru began, for Yuki-kun...

For Yuki? Haru eyed her dangerously. I'm staying for Yuki! he yelled, moving towards her. Maybe you're the one who should lea--uh! he broke off, suddenly finding himself pinned against the wall by a furious Kyo.

Maybe you should do what you're told, Cow. he growled menacingly in the other boy's face.



Heh, right. Like you care what happens to Yuki! Haru glared at him. You're the reason he's even here like this in the first place! he spat out.

Kyo stared at him dumbfounded, eyes widening. Haru took advantage of his cousin's sudden surprise to break free, shoving the other boy off him and onto the ground.

Kagura cried, rushing to his side. Kyo could only look away in shame, unable to meet his cousin's eyes.

Admit it, if he dies, it's on your hands, cat!

Shut up Kyo growled, hands shaking. Shut up shut up shut up...

Kagura scolded, glaring up at her younger cousin as she helped Kyo back to his feet.

Hmm? You wanna try next? he smirked at her. Turning back to regard Kyo, the smirk vanished, his expression replaced by one of full-blown anger. You don't give a shit what happens to him. You probably want him to die, don't you? You--

SHUT UP! Kyo yelled. Unable to take anymore, he pulled his fist back, fully intending on connecting with Haru's furious face.

STOP IT!

Everyone froze, turning to the source of the outburst.



Tohru blinked in surprise at herself. She'd never yelled like that before. Please... stop. she repeated more quietly, voice shaking with emotion. Both of you... no one... no one wants Yuki-kun to die... please... he can't... she broke off, unable to continue as she fought to hold back her tears.

Haru's expression changed then to one of disbelief, as all that was Black in him seemed to drain away at the girl's words, horrified at the situation he'd created. What had he done?

Ok, everyone out. Hatori ordered halfheartedly. He didn't want things getting any more out of hand than they already had.

All somberly made their way out of Yuki's room, Hatori gently, but firmly, guiding the now subdued Oushi out. Tohru closed the door softly behind them, stealing one last, tearful glance inside. Yuki-kun... please be ok...

Once back out in the hallway, Hatori released the younger boy from his grip. The teen slumped against the wall, sliding down, a distraught expression on his face. I'm sorry, he managed. I-I didn't mean... I didn't want... I'm sorry. he repeated meekly, burying his face in his shaking hands, and finally allowing the tears he'd been holding in to come.

Kagura moved to sit beside him, arms encircling him in an attempt to comfort her younger cousin. Leaning into her embrace, Haru now let his tears flow freely, small sobs breaking the silence in between. Ssh, it's okay. Yun-chan's going to be okay. she mumbled reassuringly. He'll be okay. she repeated, as if the words themselves could make it happen.

The others stood in awkward silence, unsure of what to do or say. Tohru continued to cry quietly. Kyo stood a few feet away, hands clenched into fists, staring at the floor as if trying to burn a hole through it. He's wrong. That's not... that's not what I want... it's not... He glanced at Tohru, who was making a valiant effort to dry her tears, and felt his heart ache. This isn't what I want.

After a few moments, Shigure took it upon himself to break the tension.

Ne, Kyo-kun, why don't you take Tohru-kun downstairs to get something to eat?

Tohru turned to face the novelist as she wiped away her tears. But, Yuki-kun... it doesn't feel right to leave at a time like this... she sniffled, eyes downcast.

Shigure placed a hand on her shoulder. Tohru-kun, Yuki-kun's not going anywhere right now. he told her gently. Besides, you'll only be downstairs.

Shigure's right Hatori agreed, You should probably all get something to eat. It's been a long night for everyone. Tohru nodded obediently. Kyo remained silent.

That goes for you too, Ha-kun Shigure added, addressing the black and white haired teen.

I'm fine he mumbled tiredly, his head resting upon Kagura's shoulder.

Hatsuharu, you really should--

I'm fine. he repeated more stubbornly this time. It was quite clear that the boy had no intention of moving at the moment. I'll stay too. Kagura announced. We'll go eat later.

Both of you-- Hatori started.

Kagura's eyes met Hatori's, a silent plea to let the younger boy be for now.

The doctor sighed in defeat. Fine. But you have to promise me that you will eat, alright?

Kagura nodded. We will, I promise. Ne, Haru-chan? He remained silent, his only response being the slightest shrug of his shoulders. Maybe he was hungry. Maybe he wasn't. He honestly couldn't tell at this point, nor did he really care; all he could think about was Yuki. He wouldn't dare leave him if he could help it. He'd rather starve first.

Downstairs, Kyo and Tohru explored the cafeteria.

So, what do you want? Kyo asked quietly.

Tohru shook her head. I don't know if I'm really that hungry... she paused, interrupted by her stomach's loud protest. Okay, maybe I am, a little. she corrected herself, blushing in embarrassment. What about Kyo-kun?

Kyo eyed the food doubtfully. He'd never really trusted cafeteria food, much less hospital cafeteria food.

He randomly picked out something that looked edible and placed it on a tray along with what Tohru had chosen. The girl was about to leave with the tray when he put a hand out to stop her.

Oi, it's okay, I'll pay for it.

Ah! Demo, Kyo-kun, I really don't mind!

It's fine, don't worry about it.



Besides, he patted his pockets, I have mon-- he paused, realizing that said pockets seemed to be devoid of any cash. Uh... er, maybe I don't he confessed, turning red; it was his turn to be embarrassed now.

It's okay, Kyo-kun. Since I came straight from work, I have money. I'll pay. she smiled.

he mumbled as she turned and brought the food to the cashier.

Kyo sighed and dropped down into one of the chairs at an empty table. Well, he thought, looking around, at least the atmosphere seemed a little less hostile here. No whitewashed walls. Off-white, at least. Or maybe that was beige? he wondered idly.

Shaking his head, he glared inwardly. What the hell? Since when did he give a damn about color schemes? Why did he keep thinking about stupid things like that?

Cause if I focus on stuff like this, then I'm not thinking about him.

Deciding to play along with his idle thoughts, his hands reached into his pockets. He was sure he must've at least had some change in there... He stopped as his fingers brushed against something in one pocket. Frowning, he pulled it out and stared at the now slightly crumpled object in his hand.

The photograph.

He'd completely forgotten about it, what with all the chaos and running around and everything.

He'd meant to ask Yuki about it.

I wonder if I'll even get the chance to now... Dammit! Stop thinking like that, the k'so nezumi will be fine. Of course he'll be fine... he has to be...



Kyo jumped at the sound of his name. Eh? Tohru?

Ah! Gomen!! she apologized, I didn't mean to scare you.

Wha? Scared? Me? No way. You just... surprised me.

She giggled at his flustered reaction as she sat down and placed their food on the table. What's that? she asked, regarding him curiously as she noticed he was holding something.

This? Uh, nothing. It's nothing. he replied hastily, shoving the picture back in his pocket.

Tohru's smile faltered slightly. Judging by the tone of Kyo's voice and by his reaction, it didn't seem like , but it was obvious that he didn't want to talk about it, so she decided not to press the matter.

A new silence now crept up on them, so she decided to change the subject. I wonder if anyone's been able to get a hold of Ayame-san yet, she wondered. At a time like this... Ayame-san would want to be here for Yuki-kun.

Kyo snorted. That clown? Are you kidding? He'd probably make an even bigger racket than that damn Haru did... he trailed off, as he remembered what had transpired just a few moments ago. Tohru noticed this, a look of concern returning to her features. She knew it might be none of her business, but something had been bothering her since their encounter with Black Haru.

Anou, Kyo-kun?

he glanced up to meet her gaze.

Before... what did Hatsuharu-san mean... why does he think this is your fault? she asked quietly.

Kyo looked away, eyes hardening. Cause it's true.

Tohru regarded him quizzically.

Cause he came after me that night... when Shishou... when you saw what... what I am... he replied in a strained voice. Just thinking of his other form disgusted him. That's why he got sick. he finished, almost inaudibly.

her eyes widened. But, that's not Kyo-kun's fault! It was Yuki-kun's choice to go. He came because he cares about what happens to Kyo-kun.

Kyo clenched his fists. He'd already been through this with Kagura. But why should he?! Why the hell should he even give a damn? He shouldn't-- he pounded a fist on the table, causing Tohru to jump a little in surprise. Embarrassed, he avoided her concerned eyes. It's just not supposed to be this way... he mumbled. The cat and the rat were supposed to be mortal enemies. They were supposed to hate each other; that's the way things should be, it's how they'd always been! So why...

Why was this time different?

Why did Yuki actually care enough to stop Kyo from running away? And why did Kyo now feel such overwhelming guilt at seeing his cousin in the other's current condition? Why did he have to feel anything? Why couldn't things go back to the way they were before? Back to a life where he didn't share a home with his cousin or go to the same school as him or have to see him every day and so he wouldn't give a damn about what happened to him and everything would be normal and--

He looked up, startled, as he felt Tohru reach out across the table and squeeze his hand. Kyo-kun... You say that this isn't the way things are supposed to be between the two of you... But maybe... maybe things don't have to be that way. Maybe they should be how you want them to be. How you feel they should be. You'll know because it'll feel right in your heart.

Kyo blinked in confusion. How I want things to be? In my heart? He'd always been just fine with hating the k'so nezumi, but lately... things had changed between them. They didn't fight even nearly as they used to, and when the two did clash, it was usually just through bickering. And now... these past few days...

"Are you just going to run away?"

Kyo. Let's duel when we get home.

Things were indeed changing between the cursed neko and nezumi. But was that what he wanted? Was that how he wanted things to be?

He was about to ask her what she meant, when an out-of-breath Kagura appeared beside them.

Tohru exclaimed, seeing the other girl. What is it?

It's Yun-chan she gasped between deep breaths.

Kyo felt his gut tighten. What now?

What happened? Tohru asked, worried. She immediately jumped to her feet, almost knocking her chair over in the process.

He's awake! Kagura revealed excitedly.

Tohru's eyes lit up, and Kyo felt some of his uneasiness wash away.

That's wonderful news, Kagura-san! Can we see him?

Kagura nodded, and all three rushed back to Yuki's room, the trays of food left behind, untouched and forgotten.

TBC...

A/N: Wow... it's been almost a year since my last update cringes anybody out there still reading? Anyone? crickets chirp Oh goody, at least the crickets like me... ;; I'm not even gonna bother making excuses--I've been busy with school, family stuff, summer school, work, and attempting to have some kinda social life. Wait, were those excuses? heh, sorry ;; but it's the truth! (that and writer's block...)

So for those of you still reading, thanks so much for your patience!! (I dunno if it was worth the wait, but...) And if you're not, well, I know I'm writing for at least one person (and the crickets ;;), so that's still something.

And thanks so much, as usual, to the wonderful R Junkie for proofreading and helping me out! I hope it's a bit better now... and that the Tohru bit makes a bit more sense... I suck at writing Tohru psycho-babble ;; lol! Your suggestions really helped, thanks a lot!

Kativa-Chan: Yep, he knows. Which can't mean anything good! I'll be getting to that soon! Thank you!

D-Yai: Thanks! Yeah, I'm really trying to keep everyone in character... hope I'm doing ok! Heh, and I know what you mean winks back

Shinigami's Voice/mayra: May! Hope you're still there! Though somehow you ended up reviewing twice last time ;; wow, I hadn't even realized that. oh well, it's always great to hear from you! And yeah, school's gonna be starting up again soon, so that's probably gonna cause some problems... well, I'll just have to try and finish the next chapter before then! Must write faster!! lol. And hey, hope everything's good with you! hugs Miss ya!

R Junkie: THANK YOU! glomps lol, yeah, I did my homework though I don't think I'll be needing too much more technical stuff, which is probably a good thing--I was probably starting to give my readers headaches with all that! (even I was getting confused! o.o) And hopefully I'll have the next chapter for you to read soon! (well, sooner than it took for this one anyway ;;)

Missy: I'm still here! ;; sorry for the long wait! Though you'll have to wait a little longer to find out what happens with Akito. (yes, I'm evil. I'm sorry ;;) Thanks for reading!

annonymouse: Wai, thank you! Yup, Ayame's on his way... though I'm still a bit nervous about bringing him in--I've never written Ayame before o.o that'll be interesting!

eva: Thanks! Ah, well that there's classified information, lol! You'll just have to wait and see...

Ok, well that's that then! I'm almost done with the first draft of Chapter 5, and hopefully it'll be up soon! But please, be patient with me! I may be slow with the updates (especially when school starts again ;;), but I'm not gonna give up! Gambatteru!!