A/N: Erm, Ogatel is NOT Legato spelled backwards. Otagel is. My bad...on another note..... GYAH! SCHOOOOL! ARGHHHHH! ..........highschool...ack. O.o ...anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed! ^^ Sorry for the slow updates, but school's a pain in the ass and I'm not much inspired to write these days. -_-;; Writer's block. Well, here's E.G. Mine! Yay! It's gonna be crazy, so watch out! ^.^
Sheen Tacos: ...um, I dunno. How DO you get the money for our show? o.O ...ah, nevermind. It's free, now I remember! Yeah, our show makes no profit. ...damn, we gots no money. :( Oh well, as long as I have my loyal reviewers!
hieiandkuramalover: ...I already interviewed Legato. Did you miss it? Well, it's there. Yeah. You've probably found it by now, but for the sake of me not having to go back and erase this...I'm leaving it. ^^ Okay, enough babbling.
Disclaimer: ...I lied. More babbling. Yeah, I don't own the Trigun characters. ...or the audience members. I know, it's hard to believe, but it's the sad, sad truth. ......... or Livewire! Well, enjoy E.G. Mine (I know I will! XD) and please review! Thanks! ^^
~*~*~*~*~*Livewire and Three Psychos*~*~*~*~*~
The scene is a bit unusual today, with an aliveness in the air and a buzz throughout the Studio. ...okay, so not throughout the ENTIRE Studio, but most of it. ...well, not exaclty MOST of it, but a third of it...or a fourth...or a fifth...or maybe even a tenth? ....okay, FINE, I admit it, there was a buzz from TWO people! TWO! DOS! GET IT!? ...well, these two people were in fact the hosts of the show...ironically enough. -.o;; The audience was, well, The Audience, and Joe the Camera guy was being a dork in the back. Imagine that.
...on with the subject. Today was the day Megan and Ashley would be interviewing the one and only, strange and psychotic, green-haired lunatic, E.G. Mine. And YES, due to the fact that E.G. is a psycho, Megan and Ashley naturally love him.
So onstage, Ashley was sitting in her chair, clutching the arms of it, excited but controlling herself. Megan, of course, was running across the stage like an idoit.
"Megan! You...have...to...control yourself!" Ashley yells, trying not to let her excitement run wild.
^^ "AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHH!" Megan runs by, waving her arms in the air and screaming at the top of her lungs, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.!!!!!!!!!!!"
"GODDAMIT MEGAN! SIT DOWN SO HE CAN COME OUT!"
^^ "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Megan jumps in her chair.
"Well...you..should...know...who we're interviewing by now...so..give...it...up...for..E...G...Mine!!!"
A man encased in a spike-covered shell trudges slowly onstage, plopping down on the couch.
^^ "E.G.E.G.E.G.E.G.E.G.E.G.!!!!!"
"....must...control...self..................AAAAAAAAH!" Ashley springs from her seat, tackling E.G., making sure to avoid the spikes. "E.G.! We love yoooooooouuuuuuu!"
"Ah! Get off of me, woman!" he says in a semi-muffled voice.
^^ "Yay! Yay! Yay! E.G.! You're on our show! Yay! Yay! Yay!" Megan shouts happily from her chair.
"Gyah!" he pushes Ashley off and attempts to sit back up, but because he was tackled to his side, the spikes on his outfit became lodged in the couch. "Ah! I'm stuck!"
Ashley jumps up. "Anyone who wants a piece of E.G., do it now!" *cricketcricket "I don't mean it like THAT, you sickos!"
^^ "Ooooo! I wanna touch 'em!" Megan leans over and runs her hand along one of his spikes. "...shiiiiiiiinnnnyyyyy."
"Stop that, Megan!" Ashley screams.
The gung-ho gun manages to free himself from the couch, pulling fluff up with him.
"Haha! You got fuzzy spikes!"
"What!?" He screeches, trying to look around his shell at his spikes, "I can't see! Get it off me!"
"No, it's cute! They remind me of pink fuzzy bunnies!" Megan smiles.
"Say what?"
"Time for an audience question!"
"...okay." E.G. Mine looks around at his surroundings wearily.
"...what's the matter E.G.?"
"Oh, nothing. Just that lazy-ass Legato made me walk all the way here from Gunsmoke because he was too lazy to take me and wouldn't let me drive!"
"Well then, take this!" Ashley pulls out a can of Livewire Mountain Dew and thrusts it at him. "It'll make you feel better!"
He eyes it suspiciously, "...what is it?"
"It's a magic potion! It'll help get your energy back!"
".....does it taste good?"
"Just try it!"
He looks at the can one last time before taking a sip. "...wow, that's...that's actually kind of good."
^^ "Yeah!"
He takes a bigger sip. "Mmmmmm!" He takes a gulp. "Oh man! This is great!" He downs the can.
"Holy shit, E.G.! You da man!"
He parts his lips, about to say something, when a tremor races through his body.
Ashley stares at him. "Oh, man. Are you okay?"
His pupils dilate, then shrink back quickly.
"Ah, crap. Don't worry, E.G., it'll only last another few seconds."
His body convulses again before becoming still. He slowly turns body to the hosts. "...got any more?"
"Hell yeah!" Ashley races backstage and returns with five liters and thirty cans of livewire. "Here we go!"
A LITTLE TIME LATER...
"NYAO!" Megan quickly chugs the last of her pop. "OHMYGOD! THIS IS CRAAAAAAAZZZZZYYY!" she drops the can and runs around the Studio.
Meanwhile, Ashley and E.G. are having a staring contest. Both of their eyes are twitching wildly, but neither blink.
*stare
*twitch
*twitch
*staretwitch
*twitchstare
*stare
*stare
*TWITCH
*convulsion
*cough
*blink
"Gyah! I beat you!"
"No fair!" E.G. rubs his eyes, "You spit on me!"
"Nuh-uh," she wipes her mouth off, "I was just coughing."
"Cheater!"
"Ass-pirate!"
"Skank!"
"Man-whore!"
"Slut!"
"Douche!"
"Gyaaaah!" he tries to choke her.
"Hey!" she takes a few steps...err, stumbles back, "Love and peace, yo!"
"Oh, oh yeah! Love and peace! Love and peace!" They hug.
"Look, we're hugging! We don't care! HAHAHAHA!" she stops suddenly and glares at the audience, "What the hell are YOU looking at!?"
"NYAOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Megan runs back onstage, flailing her arms wildly. "Livewirelivewirelivewirelivewirelivewire!" She jumps into her chair. "Heeeeeey! Did we finish the show yet!?"
"...I don't think so!" Ashley also takes a seat. "Come on, E.G.! Sit with us!"
"Okaaay!" he prances over to the sofa and sits down. "Question tiiiiiiimeeeeeee!"
"Heeeey! You're riiiight! Pick someone, E.GGGG.!"
"Whoo!" he points to mimic12355, "How about yooouuu!"
"Ah, scary guy!" Megan hides.
"Alright," the man breathes through his gas mask. "How can you carry all those spikes and where did you get them from?"
"What spikes's?" E.G. slurs, looking around.
"...the giant spikes coming out of your shell. The ones you use in battle."
He turns his head and looks at the nearest spike, confused, "Where did these come from?" he pokes it, "Owwieeee!!!!"
"Oh, did E.G. get a boo-boo!?"
*nod
"Don't worry! Here ya go!" Megan whips out a gigantic band-aid, larger than his hand, and attempts to wrap it around his finger. "All better!"
He stares at the bandage "...I dun think it fits, Mrs. Host."
"Ms.!"
"Hey!" mimic12355 shouts from his seat, "What about my question!?"
"Oh,oh! That thing!" The gung-ho gun points his finger in no particular direction, "Umm...I think I got mah spikes's from that guy..."
"It's SPIKES, not spikes's. And what guy are you talking about?"
"You know," he begins waving his arm, "that...GUY."
"Heeey! Does he happen to have ba-lu hair?" Megan chirps in.
"Yeah! That guy!"
"Li-ga-toe!" Ashley shouts.
"Ah! Li-ga-toe!" he imitates her.
"...um," the man in black interrupts, "How do you carry them around?"
"Wooow. I dunnoooooo," he looks over at Ashley, "Do you know how I carry my spikes's around? ...is it the Livewire?"
"No, man," Ashley drawls, "You must have some harness thingy or somefin' in your shell."
"Ohhhhh..." he awes, "...wait. What if I DON'T have a harness?"
*GASP! "Then you must be carrying them around...with-your-mind!"
"Wah! Mind power! BWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!" he cackles like a maniac...errr, like himself. "...wha? Wha? WHA? WHA!?" he shouts at the staring audience. "Shut-up! Don't MAKE me maim you!"
*sweatdrop
"Yeah, that's right," he points at them, "You know it!"
"...hey," Ashley pokes her friend, whose slumped lazily in her chair. "Whaz wrong?"
"Ughhhh..." Megan moans, " The Livewire...it has left me."
*GASP! "What!?"
"Hey! It'll happen to you, too!"
"No it won't!"
FIVE MINUTES LATER...
"...damn, man. Livewire's some gooood shit."
"Yeah....right up until it LEAVES you!"
"Eh," Ashley shruggs, "That stuff'll mess you up."
"Yeah. Bad trip man, BAAAD trip."
"Hey. How you holdin' up over there?" Ashley turns to look at E.G., whose limply laying on the couch.
"...gyaaaahhh."
"Oh."
Megan looks down at her arm. "It's going on 12:30."
"How do you know that?"
"I have a WATCH."
"No you don't. Dun lie to me, hoe."
"Yes I do. Loooook." Megan turns her arm to Ashley, where a poorly drawn watch is scribbled across her wrist in pen.
"Eaugh, nevermind." Ashley looks down at her real watch. "It's only been a couple of hours. It's not that late."
"Oh...dream breaker."
"Hey," Ashley shakes E.G. by the shoulder, "Get up. We've got more questions.
"Ughhhh..." he slowly sits up, holding his head. "What the hell is IN that stuff?"
"A little friend I like to call caffeine," Megan explains.
"Yeah. E.G., pick another person."
"...ohhh, my head is POUNDING," he moans, looking at the audiencde. "Eh, how about you?"
He points to a previous guest on our show, Wind, who stands up and asks, "Oooo. Can I have a cookie?"
"Say what?"
"A Coooookie."
"Oh...what cookie?"
"The cookie you have in your suuuit."
"What?" he rummages through the inside of his shell, pulling out a large cookie. "Gyah! Where did this come from!?"
"Ahh! Can I have it!?"
"No! MY cookie!"
"Pleeeaseee?"
"NO!"
"I'll tell on yoouuu."
"...tell who?"
"Master Knives!"
*GASP! "Your'e a minion, too!?"
*nod
"But, he never told me about hiring any new minions!"
"Yeah, well, he did!"
"But-but, you wouldn't tell on me, would you?"
*nod
"NoooOOOoooOOOooo!" he pauses, ".....gyah! Wait a minute! Why would Knives care!?"
"I'm his favorite."
"Nooo! Li-ga-toe is his favorite!"
"He changed his mind."
"Well, Knives can just KISS it! He let that stupid, no-good chicken-shit Rei-Dei kill me!"
"Ahh!" Ashley screams, "Rei-DIE!!"
"That little bastard!" Megan yells.
"I know!"
"...so........canIhavethecookie?"
"No!"
*sniff "Fine," she sits down. *pout
E.G. Mine looks to his left, then his right, and quickly licks the cookie. "There! Now you'll be mine forever!" He hurridly puts it back into his suit.
*stare
"...what!? Why are you staring at me!?"
"Your hair...hahahaha...it's green."
"No shiiit!"
"Yah," Megan adds, "And it's got this freaky-ass white stripe goin' on, too."
"Hey!" he runs his fingers through his hair. "Leave it alone!" *stare "And don't ask any questions!"
"...okay."
*wait
*wait
*wait
"...why is your hair green?"
"I said no questions!"
"It's okay, E.G. We won't judge you. Just tell us," Megan says.
"...but,but........it was just so HORRIBLE!" he wails.
The hosts look at each other, eyebrows raised. "What was so horrible?"
"I-I...I walked IN...on Knives n Legato n Midvalley...and...oh GOD!" he cries.
"It's okay. Tell us what you saw."
"Well...*sniff*...I couldn't really see that much, cause it was dark. I walked into the room after I heard some strange noises coming from it. You know, to see if everything was all right. I felt my way around the room, until...until..."
"Until what?"
"...until I grabbed Midvalley's ass!" *sob
*trying not to laugh "Well, um, what do you suppose those three were doing in there?"
"You know as well as I do what they were doing in there!"
"Nooo...why don't you try telling us a little more?"
"...okay. Well, after touching another gung-ho gun's ass, and Midvalley the Hornfreak's ass, nonetheless, I was horrified. It would have been better if it wasn't a BARE ass."
"Gyah!"
"I know. So I tried to leave the room as fast as I could, but two figures blocked the door. They were Legato and Knives. From what I could tell, neither had shirts on. And Knives had a butterfly...uh, UNDERGARMENT, on."
"Oh," Megan moans, "Deja-vu..."
"Yeah. They said, 'Join us, E.G.' and 'Come play with us'."
Ashley winces, "Ohhh, you poor little thing."
*nod "Of course I didn't wanna know what the hell they meant by 'play', even though I had a pretty good idea of what it was, so I pushed them aside and booked it down the hallway as fast as I could."
"Ah, Jesus..."
*tear "It's so hard to live knowing I touched Midvalley's ass. Knowing...what they DO in there..." *sob
"It's okay," Megan pats his arm. "........nyeh, what does that have to do with your hair, though?"
He simply points to his white stripe.
She looks confused.
"...ohhhhh," Ashely says, "You were so scared....some of your hair turned white?"
*nod
"...so why is the rest green?"
"Ah," he wipes a tear from his eye, "THAT. Well, you see, after my little intrusion on their 'play time', they gave me all these funny looks. Not dirty ones, though. It was like...they were asking me to come play with them. For instance, one of them whistled when I walked by, and another time, someone slapped my ass in the hallway."
"Gyaaaaah."
"So, I decided I needed to do something to draw their attention away from me. But I couldn't figure anything out. I was desperate. So I walked down to the store and bought me some green hair-dye. I applied it to myself, and the next thing I knew, I had green hair. ...well, except for the white stripe. That never turned green. Anyway, I just told them it was green because I didn't shower. They backed off after that." he stands up and bows, "And THAT, my friends, is my sad, sad story."
"Ohhh, encore!" Megan claps wildly, "Encore!"
"Thank you, thank you."
Joe the Camera Guy steps away from his equipment in the back and shouts down the aisle, "Yo! Wrap it up!"
"But, Jooooooeeeeee!" Megan whines, "We've only asked a few questiioooonsss!"
"Yeah, but you guys took up too much time on your little Livewire spree, rememeber?"
*ponderponder "........ahhhh, maaaaaaaan."
"I only have a few more minutes of film left."
"Okay!" Megan looks over at E.G. "Any last words before we stop?"
"Well-"
"Wait!" Ashley jumps out of her chair, "Lemme go get somethin'!" She runs offstage and grabs three cans of Livewire. "Here we go!"
*GASP! "Liiiiiivewiiiireeee!"
"Magic pooooootion!" E.G. dives for the pop.
"Well, here's to psychos everywhere." Ashley raises her can.
"And livewire."
"And green hair dye!" They knock their cans together and down them.
"NYAOOOO!" Megan rises. "Stay tuned, folks! Next time, we'll have Midvalley the Hornfreak on our show!"
"What!?" E.G. shreiks. "Nooo! Keep him away from me!"
"Don't worry, you'll be long gone!"
"...oh."
"So, until next time..."
"...stay psycho..."
"...and stay on livewire!" The three wave to the camera before calling it a night.
~*~*~*~*~*THE END...well, not really.*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: WOO-HOO! I UPDATED! YAAAAAY! .......... Long live Livewire! ^^
P.S.- The 'look, we're hugging. We don't care' thing comes from the show 'Home Movies'. You should watch it sometime. It's funny. Then you'll know what I'm talking about. ^^ ...oh! And the 'with our mind' thing comes from the people at Adult Swim...sort of. O.o Well, hope you enjoyed the chapter! Midvalley's next! If you wanna ask him a question, you know what to do! Review! ^^
Sheen Tacos: ...um, I dunno. How DO you get the money for our show? o.O ...ah, nevermind. It's free, now I remember! Yeah, our show makes no profit. ...damn, we gots no money. :( Oh well, as long as I have my loyal reviewers!
hieiandkuramalover: ...I already interviewed Legato. Did you miss it? Well, it's there. Yeah. You've probably found it by now, but for the sake of me not having to go back and erase this...I'm leaving it. ^^ Okay, enough babbling.
Disclaimer: ...I lied. More babbling. Yeah, I don't own the Trigun characters. ...or the audience members. I know, it's hard to believe, but it's the sad, sad truth. ......... or Livewire! Well, enjoy E.G. Mine (I know I will! XD) and please review! Thanks! ^^
~*~*~*~*~*Livewire and Three Psychos*~*~*~*~*~
The scene is a bit unusual today, with an aliveness in the air and a buzz throughout the Studio. ...okay, so not throughout the ENTIRE Studio, but most of it. ...well, not exaclty MOST of it, but a third of it...or a fourth...or a fifth...or maybe even a tenth? ....okay, FINE, I admit it, there was a buzz from TWO people! TWO! DOS! GET IT!? ...well, these two people were in fact the hosts of the show...ironically enough. -.o;; The audience was, well, The Audience, and Joe the Camera guy was being a dork in the back. Imagine that.
...on with the subject. Today was the day Megan and Ashley would be interviewing the one and only, strange and psychotic, green-haired lunatic, E.G. Mine. And YES, due to the fact that E.G. is a psycho, Megan and Ashley naturally love him.
So onstage, Ashley was sitting in her chair, clutching the arms of it, excited but controlling herself. Megan, of course, was running across the stage like an idoit.
"Megan! You...have...to...control yourself!" Ashley yells, trying not to let her excitement run wild.
^^ "AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHH!" Megan runs by, waving her arms in the air and screaming at the top of her lungs, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.!!!!!!!!!!!"
"GODDAMIT MEGAN! SIT DOWN SO HE CAN COME OUT!"
^^ "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Megan jumps in her chair.
"Well...you..should...know...who we're interviewing by now...so..give...it...up...for..E...G...Mine!!!"
A man encased in a spike-covered shell trudges slowly onstage, plopping down on the couch.
^^ "E.G.E.G.E.G.E.G.E.G.E.G.!!!!!"
"....must...control...self..................AAAAAAAAH!" Ashley springs from her seat, tackling E.G., making sure to avoid the spikes. "E.G.! We love yoooooooouuuuuuu!"
"Ah! Get off of me, woman!" he says in a semi-muffled voice.
^^ "Yay! Yay! Yay! E.G.! You're on our show! Yay! Yay! Yay!" Megan shouts happily from her chair.
"Gyah!" he pushes Ashley off and attempts to sit back up, but because he was tackled to his side, the spikes on his outfit became lodged in the couch. "Ah! I'm stuck!"
Ashley jumps up. "Anyone who wants a piece of E.G., do it now!" *cricketcricket "I don't mean it like THAT, you sickos!"
^^ "Ooooo! I wanna touch 'em!" Megan leans over and runs her hand along one of his spikes. "...shiiiiiiiinnnnyyyyy."
"Stop that, Megan!" Ashley screams.
The gung-ho gun manages to free himself from the couch, pulling fluff up with him.
"Haha! You got fuzzy spikes!"
"What!?" He screeches, trying to look around his shell at his spikes, "I can't see! Get it off me!"
"No, it's cute! They remind me of pink fuzzy bunnies!" Megan smiles.
"Say what?"
"Time for an audience question!"
"...okay." E.G. Mine looks around at his surroundings wearily.
"...what's the matter E.G.?"
"Oh, nothing. Just that lazy-ass Legato made me walk all the way here from Gunsmoke because he was too lazy to take me and wouldn't let me drive!"
"Well then, take this!" Ashley pulls out a can of Livewire Mountain Dew and thrusts it at him. "It'll make you feel better!"
He eyes it suspiciously, "...what is it?"
"It's a magic potion! It'll help get your energy back!"
".....does it taste good?"
"Just try it!"
He looks at the can one last time before taking a sip. "...wow, that's...that's actually kind of good."
^^ "Yeah!"
He takes a bigger sip. "Mmmmmm!" He takes a gulp. "Oh man! This is great!" He downs the can.
"Holy shit, E.G.! You da man!"
He parts his lips, about to say something, when a tremor races through his body.
Ashley stares at him. "Oh, man. Are you okay?"
His pupils dilate, then shrink back quickly.
"Ah, crap. Don't worry, E.G., it'll only last another few seconds."
His body convulses again before becoming still. He slowly turns body to the hosts. "...got any more?"
"Hell yeah!" Ashley races backstage and returns with five liters and thirty cans of livewire. "Here we go!"
A LITTLE TIME LATER...
"NYAO!" Megan quickly chugs the last of her pop. "OHMYGOD! THIS IS CRAAAAAAAZZZZZYYY!" she drops the can and runs around the Studio.
Meanwhile, Ashley and E.G. are having a staring contest. Both of their eyes are twitching wildly, but neither blink.
*stare
*twitch
*twitch
*staretwitch
*twitchstare
*stare
*stare
*TWITCH
*convulsion
*cough
*blink
"Gyah! I beat you!"
"No fair!" E.G. rubs his eyes, "You spit on me!"
"Nuh-uh," she wipes her mouth off, "I was just coughing."
"Cheater!"
"Ass-pirate!"
"Skank!"
"Man-whore!"
"Slut!"
"Douche!"
"Gyaaaah!" he tries to choke her.
"Hey!" she takes a few steps...err, stumbles back, "Love and peace, yo!"
"Oh, oh yeah! Love and peace! Love and peace!" They hug.
"Look, we're hugging! We don't care! HAHAHAHA!" she stops suddenly and glares at the audience, "What the hell are YOU looking at!?"
"NYAOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Megan runs back onstage, flailing her arms wildly. "Livewirelivewirelivewirelivewirelivewire!" She jumps into her chair. "Heeeeeey! Did we finish the show yet!?"
"...I don't think so!" Ashley also takes a seat. "Come on, E.G.! Sit with us!"
"Okaaay!" he prances over to the sofa and sits down. "Question tiiiiiiimeeeeeee!"
"Heeeey! You're riiiight! Pick someone, E.GGGG.!"
"Whoo!" he points to mimic12355, "How about yooouuu!"
"Ah, scary guy!" Megan hides.
"Alright," the man breathes through his gas mask. "How can you carry all those spikes and where did you get them from?"
"What spikes's?" E.G. slurs, looking around.
"...the giant spikes coming out of your shell. The ones you use in battle."
He turns his head and looks at the nearest spike, confused, "Where did these come from?" he pokes it, "Owwieeee!!!!"
"Oh, did E.G. get a boo-boo!?"
*nod
"Don't worry! Here ya go!" Megan whips out a gigantic band-aid, larger than his hand, and attempts to wrap it around his finger. "All better!"
He stares at the bandage "...I dun think it fits, Mrs. Host."
"Ms.!"
"Hey!" mimic12355 shouts from his seat, "What about my question!?"
"Oh,oh! That thing!" The gung-ho gun points his finger in no particular direction, "Umm...I think I got mah spikes's from that guy..."
"It's SPIKES, not spikes's. And what guy are you talking about?"
"You know," he begins waving his arm, "that...GUY."
"Heeey! Does he happen to have ba-lu hair?" Megan chirps in.
"Yeah! That guy!"
"Li-ga-toe!" Ashley shouts.
"Ah! Li-ga-toe!" he imitates her.
"...um," the man in black interrupts, "How do you carry them around?"
"Wooow. I dunnoooooo," he looks over at Ashley, "Do you know how I carry my spikes's around? ...is it the Livewire?"
"No, man," Ashley drawls, "You must have some harness thingy or somefin' in your shell."
"Ohhhhh..." he awes, "...wait. What if I DON'T have a harness?"
*GASP! "Then you must be carrying them around...with-your-mind!"
"Wah! Mind power! BWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!" he cackles like a maniac...errr, like himself. "...wha? Wha? WHA? WHA!?" he shouts at the staring audience. "Shut-up! Don't MAKE me maim you!"
*sweatdrop
"Yeah, that's right," he points at them, "You know it!"
"...hey," Ashley pokes her friend, whose slumped lazily in her chair. "Whaz wrong?"
"Ughhhh..." Megan moans, " The Livewire...it has left me."
*GASP! "What!?"
"Hey! It'll happen to you, too!"
"No it won't!"
FIVE MINUTES LATER...
"...damn, man. Livewire's some gooood shit."
"Yeah....right up until it LEAVES you!"
"Eh," Ashley shruggs, "That stuff'll mess you up."
"Yeah. Bad trip man, BAAAD trip."
"Hey. How you holdin' up over there?" Ashley turns to look at E.G., whose limply laying on the couch.
"...gyaaaahhh."
"Oh."
Megan looks down at her arm. "It's going on 12:30."
"How do you know that?"
"I have a WATCH."
"No you don't. Dun lie to me, hoe."
"Yes I do. Loooook." Megan turns her arm to Ashley, where a poorly drawn watch is scribbled across her wrist in pen.
"Eaugh, nevermind." Ashley looks down at her real watch. "It's only been a couple of hours. It's not that late."
"Oh...dream breaker."
"Hey," Ashley shakes E.G. by the shoulder, "Get up. We've got more questions.
"Ughhhh..." he slowly sits up, holding his head. "What the hell is IN that stuff?"
"A little friend I like to call caffeine," Megan explains.
"Yeah. E.G., pick another person."
"...ohhh, my head is POUNDING," he moans, looking at the audiencde. "Eh, how about you?"
He points to a previous guest on our show, Wind, who stands up and asks, "Oooo. Can I have a cookie?"
"Say what?"
"A Coooookie."
"Oh...what cookie?"
"The cookie you have in your suuuit."
"What?" he rummages through the inside of his shell, pulling out a large cookie. "Gyah! Where did this come from!?"
"Ahh! Can I have it!?"
"No! MY cookie!"
"Pleeeaseee?"
"NO!"
"I'll tell on yoouuu."
"...tell who?"
"Master Knives!"
*GASP! "Your'e a minion, too!?"
*nod
"But, he never told me about hiring any new minions!"
"Yeah, well, he did!"
"But-but, you wouldn't tell on me, would you?"
*nod
"NoooOOOoooOOOooo!" he pauses, ".....gyah! Wait a minute! Why would Knives care!?"
"I'm his favorite."
"Nooo! Li-ga-toe is his favorite!"
"He changed his mind."
"Well, Knives can just KISS it! He let that stupid, no-good chicken-shit Rei-Dei kill me!"
"Ahh!" Ashley screams, "Rei-DIE!!"
"That little bastard!" Megan yells.
"I know!"
"...so........canIhavethecookie?"
"No!"
*sniff "Fine," she sits down. *pout
E.G. Mine looks to his left, then his right, and quickly licks the cookie. "There! Now you'll be mine forever!" He hurridly puts it back into his suit.
*stare
"...what!? Why are you staring at me!?"
"Your hair...hahahaha...it's green."
"No shiiit!"
"Yah," Megan adds, "And it's got this freaky-ass white stripe goin' on, too."
"Hey!" he runs his fingers through his hair. "Leave it alone!" *stare "And don't ask any questions!"
"...okay."
*wait
*wait
*wait
"...why is your hair green?"
"I said no questions!"
"It's okay, E.G. We won't judge you. Just tell us," Megan says.
"...but,but........it was just so HORRIBLE!" he wails.
The hosts look at each other, eyebrows raised. "What was so horrible?"
"I-I...I walked IN...on Knives n Legato n Midvalley...and...oh GOD!" he cries.
"It's okay. Tell us what you saw."
"Well...*sniff*...I couldn't really see that much, cause it was dark. I walked into the room after I heard some strange noises coming from it. You know, to see if everything was all right. I felt my way around the room, until...until..."
"Until what?"
"...until I grabbed Midvalley's ass!" *sob
*trying not to laugh "Well, um, what do you suppose those three were doing in there?"
"You know as well as I do what they were doing in there!"
"Nooo...why don't you try telling us a little more?"
"...okay. Well, after touching another gung-ho gun's ass, and Midvalley the Hornfreak's ass, nonetheless, I was horrified. It would have been better if it wasn't a BARE ass."
"Gyah!"
"I know. So I tried to leave the room as fast as I could, but two figures blocked the door. They were Legato and Knives. From what I could tell, neither had shirts on. And Knives had a butterfly...uh, UNDERGARMENT, on."
"Oh," Megan moans, "Deja-vu..."
"Yeah. They said, 'Join us, E.G.' and 'Come play with us'."
Ashley winces, "Ohhh, you poor little thing."
*nod "Of course I didn't wanna know what the hell they meant by 'play', even though I had a pretty good idea of what it was, so I pushed them aside and booked it down the hallway as fast as I could."
"Ah, Jesus..."
*tear "It's so hard to live knowing I touched Midvalley's ass. Knowing...what they DO in there..." *sob
"It's okay," Megan pats his arm. "........nyeh, what does that have to do with your hair, though?"
He simply points to his white stripe.
She looks confused.
"...ohhhhh," Ashely says, "You were so scared....some of your hair turned white?"
*nod
"...so why is the rest green?"
"Ah," he wipes a tear from his eye, "THAT. Well, you see, after my little intrusion on their 'play time', they gave me all these funny looks. Not dirty ones, though. It was like...they were asking me to come play with them. For instance, one of them whistled when I walked by, and another time, someone slapped my ass in the hallway."
"Gyaaaaah."
"So, I decided I needed to do something to draw their attention away from me. But I couldn't figure anything out. I was desperate. So I walked down to the store and bought me some green hair-dye. I applied it to myself, and the next thing I knew, I had green hair. ...well, except for the white stripe. That never turned green. Anyway, I just told them it was green because I didn't shower. They backed off after that." he stands up and bows, "And THAT, my friends, is my sad, sad story."
"Ohhh, encore!" Megan claps wildly, "Encore!"
"Thank you, thank you."
Joe the Camera Guy steps away from his equipment in the back and shouts down the aisle, "Yo! Wrap it up!"
"But, Jooooooeeeeee!" Megan whines, "We've only asked a few questiioooonsss!"
"Yeah, but you guys took up too much time on your little Livewire spree, rememeber?"
*ponderponder "........ahhhh, maaaaaaaan."
"I only have a few more minutes of film left."
"Okay!" Megan looks over at E.G. "Any last words before we stop?"
"Well-"
"Wait!" Ashley jumps out of her chair, "Lemme go get somethin'!" She runs offstage and grabs three cans of Livewire. "Here we go!"
*GASP! "Liiiiiivewiiiireeee!"
"Magic pooooootion!" E.G. dives for the pop.
"Well, here's to psychos everywhere." Ashley raises her can.
"And livewire."
"And green hair dye!" They knock their cans together and down them.
"NYAOOOO!" Megan rises. "Stay tuned, folks! Next time, we'll have Midvalley the Hornfreak on our show!"
"What!?" E.G. shreiks. "Nooo! Keep him away from me!"
"Don't worry, you'll be long gone!"
"...oh."
"So, until next time..."
"...stay psycho..."
"...and stay on livewire!" The three wave to the camera before calling it a night.
~*~*~*~*~*THE END...well, not really.*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: WOO-HOO! I UPDATED! YAAAAAY! .......... Long live Livewire! ^^
P.S.- The 'look, we're hugging. We don't care' thing comes from the show 'Home Movies'. You should watch it sometime. It's funny. Then you'll know what I'm talking about. ^^ ...oh! And the 'with our mind' thing comes from the people at Adult Swim...sort of. O.o Well, hope you enjoyed the chapter! Midvalley's next! If you wanna ask him a question, you know what to do! Review! ^^