A/N: Thanks to EVERYONE who reviewed! I love you all! *huggles* On another note... so many questions for Midvalley. X_x But, I think I got everyone in there, so it's okay! ^^ Sorry for the slow update, but I just started two new fics, so I was kinda busy with those. ...and I'm lazy...
Disclaimer: Trigun = not mine. Megan, Studio, and Joe the Camera Guy = mine. Ashley = not mine. Sue = mean. Read + enjoy = review. ^^
~*~*~*~*~*Midvalley the Pinkfreak*~*~*~*~*~
Okay. The scene today is, well...UNUSUAL. A terrible ruckus is being made onstage, where Megan and Ashley are setting up some musical equipment. Speakers outline the Studio and Joe the Camera Guy has a microphone and a DJ panel in the back. With a couple of finishing touches and a few last minute attachments, Ashley jumps behind her drum set and Megan straps on her electric guitar. They were now ready for the arrival of the saxophone-playing, pink shirt-wearing, right-hand-man of Legato and gung-ho gun, Midvalley the Hornfreak.
A minute passes by, then another. The only sounds emitting from the stage are a few beats on the drum and a pluck or two from the guitar. The hosts look around impatiently.
"Bleh! Where IS that man!?"
"Pfft," Ashley taps her drum, "He's probably polishing his horn."
*GASP!* "That little whore!"
-.o "Aw, not like that Megan."
"...he's still a whore."
"Pimp."
"Whore."
"PIMP."
"WHORE."
"Pimp!"
"Manwhore!"
"Pimp!"
"He's a manwhore AND a pimp!"
"...he's a jazzman."
"He's DIRTY."
A tap on the microphone is heard from Joe as lights begin to flash. "Here he comes now, ladies and gentlemen! Midvalley the Hoooornfreeeeak!"
A man carrying a large saxophone walks onstage, waves to some girls, and looks behind him. Seeing no furniture, he asks, "Hey ladies, where do I sit?"
^^ "You don't," the shorter host states happily.
"...I see." He turns his attention to the Studio, eyeing the speakers and equipment set up around him. "...SO, what's the special occasion?"
"You are!" Ashley smacks a drum.
*getting all girly* "Reaallly!? Oh, thanks you guys! I just LOVE to perform!" He squints at the audience as things become dark and a spotlight catches him full in the face. "And in front of all these people!"
"Yep!" Megan smiles, knowing most of them are cardboard cut-outs.
"Okay! And without further adeu-" he puts his lips to the instrument and begins playing some blues.
Megan clutches her ears in pain, "Gyah! I'm bleeding!"
"Ahh! What are you DOing!?" Ashley wails.
He abruptly stops and stares at the two girls. "I'm making music."
"No, NO! THIS is music!" Megan plucks fiercely at her guitar strings and Ashley goes wild on her drums. Neither are in tune with each other. The lights flash back on and flames erupt from the stage, catching a few people and a considerable number of cut-outs on fire. They play on with their horrible music, both smiling and having no idea what's going on. Joe scratches some tapes in the back and grabs the mic. "Give it up for the FREAKS!" Strobe lights turn on. People start foaming at the mouth.
Midvalley frantically turns around and shreiks, "Stop it! You're giving them SEIZURES!!"
They play on, Megan yelling over the roar of their instruments, "But I thought you LIKED death!"
"I, I DO! Death is good! But they're the AUDIENCE! THEY LOVE MEEEEE!!!"
The hosts stop what they're doing. The flashing lights cease and everything pretty much returns to normal.
Ashley looks at him in disbelief, "Now what would Legato say if he heard that kind of talk?"
*GASP!* "Oh shit! I forgot about him!"
"You FORGOT about him!? Now what would he say about THAT!?"
He clamps his hand over his mouth. "Oh SHIIIIT!!"
They burst out laughing, "It's okay, relax! Have a seat!" Megan tries to snap her fingers, but since that's one of those things she can't but should be able to do (gyaaaaahh...), nothing is heard. Midvalley looks around. "I said SEAT!"
*silence*
"NOW!" A random Studio guy struggles to drag a couch onstage, drops it quickly, and runs back off.
"We have random Studio guys?" Ashley asks.
"Yeah, but the one we DO have is a cheap little bastard who only brought us a COU-CH!"
*silence*
"I want my chair NOW, damnit!"
*moresilence*
"Prick!"
"No, it's okay! We'll just have to share the sofa with Midvalley!"
The gung-ho gun shakes his head and holds up his heads. "No, no. I'm fine. I can stand."
"You will SIT!" Megan grabs his arm and pulls him onto the couch. This convienently places him between the two hosts.
Ashley looks him in the eyes, then down at his clothes, then back to his eyes. "You know your shirt is pink, right?"
"Yeah..."
"Good. Just wanted to inform you of that..." she looks down and up again, "Ya know, just in case you hadn't noticed."
"I've noticed this for a while, thanks."
Megan looks around, "Is it just me or are we missing some people from before...eh, it doesn't matter. Still looks pretty big, so how about we go to the audience for a while?"
"Sure."
"Alright!" she picks the first name that pops into her head. "Sheen Tacos!"
^^ "Yay!" She jumps up. "MIDVALLEY! Are you gay!?"
"Everytime..." Ashley mutters.
He sighs. "Does it LOOK like I'm gay?"
"...is that a trick question?"
"NO!"
"...well, you DO wear a pink shirt..."
"So what!? What's the matter with pink!?"
"...it's PINK..."
"Gyah! I put it in with Knives' laundry by mistake! And his SPACESUIT! It just bleeds all OVER the place! My shirt WAS white, but it got turned PINK! Okay!?"
-_- ... O.O .... -_- "Forget it."
"What?"
"Next question!"
The girl sits down and another rises. ...a really tall one. She's like 5'11". That's like...TALL. Or maybe I'm just really short
Whatever the case, she was wearing big black sweatpants and a sweater, had black spiky hair, weird grey eyes, and a...tail?
"Hey!" Megan shouts. "Nice, uh...tail!"
"The name's Raditz0! And I know, isn't it?" she turns to look at Midvalley. "Where in Kami's name did you get that saxophone!? I want it!"
"I..." he pauses and looks sad for an instant. He whispers something in Ashley's ear.
"Haha!"
*sadness*
"I mean, he can't tell you!" she pats him on the back. "If he told you, then EVERYONE would have one, and he wouldn't be special anymore."
*everyone* Awwwww!
"Sorry guys..."
"Hey, no biggie!" she mumbles something to herself. "Um, one more question! Why is your name Hornfreak? Why would you even WANT to be called Hornfreak?"
"Well, when it came time to pick our names, I thought up a couple that suited me well. Ya know, Midvalley the Sexybeast or Manbeast or just plain Sexbeast."
"So why didn't you get one of those?"
"It's all 'cuz of that little KID. You know, the one Wolfwood shot. Yeah, he got to pick his name first and he just HAD to pick Beast. Zazie the Beast. So I couldn't have the word Beast anywhere in my name. ...that little bastard. So then Legato made me practice playing the saxophone a lot more and slapped on the name Hornfreak."
"But aren't you like Legato's favorite?" Megan asks.
"It would seem so."
"Then shouldn't you get first dibs on the names!?"
*twitch* "Being his favorite also means getting messed with the most...I swear, he likes torturing me."
"Well, he IS Legato."
The girl sits down. Megan blurts out another name she can think of whose been on the show before. "Mimic12455!"
The guy stands up wearing all black, including a cloak with a hood, gloves, pants, a sword on his back, and that freaky-ass gas mask that covers his entire face.
"Ah, wait!" Megan screeches. "Is it mimic 12455 or mimic12355!?"
He just stands there and breathes through his mask.
"What's with that man!?"
*breath*
"...you're creepy. Anyway, from now on I shall call you mimic!"
"Right. Midvalley...you're sax. How do you get it to make that shockwave and what does a B-flat do?"
"Oh, this?" He picks up the instrument. "It doesn't really make SHOCKwaves. All you have to do is get it to link with the physical sensation of pain and you're all set!"
"So what exactly does the B-flat DO?"
He picks it up. "Would you like me to show you?"
"Gyah! NO!" Megan pulls him back into the seat. "That's okay, we don't need anymore damage to the Studio!"
"It's pretty much what he said before, mimic. Only he can direct it at someone using certain keys," explains Ashley.
*breath* "Thanks." *breath* He sits down.
"Creepy bastard..."
"I'd say it's time for one off a card. How about you, Megan?"
"...cards suck."
"Yeah, well, that's what happens when your reviewers don't add any descriptions or you're too dumb enough to find it." She takes out a card. "SaraWolf wants to know 'why your saxophone is named Sylvia...LOL'."
"...what's LOL mean?"
"Laugh out loud, man."
"Oh. ...what is she laughing about!?"
Megan laughs herself. "Er, I'm sure it's nothing. ...hahaha."
O.o "Right. Well, I named this baby Sylvia since it's such a nice *COUGHsexyCOUGH* name. She's the love of my life, what can I say?"
"Got a cold?"
"Yep."
"Me too."
"Oh...really?"
"Yeah, wanna see?" she goes into position to cough on him, but is stopped by a hand over her mouth.
"No Megan! We don't want the Studio to get your disease!"
"What!? I'm DISEASED!?"
"You've got a cold!"
"Gyah! Armagedon! ARM-a-FREAKIN'-GEDON!"
o.o;; "...yeah. So that's why I named it that."
Megan stops screaming. "No, I bet you call it a girl name so people don't think you're gay."
"What!? No! She's my sweet-heart!" He starts carressing the weapon.
o.- "Aw man. Go rub your horn somewhere else."
"And stop referring to it as 'her'!"
The hosts shout in unison: "Sicko!"
He stops what he's doing and looks around like he's confused. "What? What just happened?"
"You were doing dirty things..."
"...touching your horn..."
"...you dirty little bird."
"Okay, how about another audience question? ...and this time ask something about ME and not my sax! Don't you love me any moooorrrreee!?"
A couple of people raise their hands.
"...you suck."
"Be nice Midvalley!"
"Fine," he points to a girl, about 5'7'' (I need some platform shoes. you people make me feel short.), with long blonde hair pulled into a ponytail and blue eyes, wearing black and red clothing with chains 'n' some other nifty shit.
"Hey! I'm QuietOne! And, uh..." she faces the gung-ho gun with a raised eyebrow. "Are you trying to imitate John Travolta in 'Grease' with that black suit and pink shirt?"
The hosts burst out laughing. Midvalley ignores them. "No, I am not. For one, I'm much more handsome than this John guy, whoever you're talking about. And another, I already told you, it was an accident that my shirt turned pink."
"Why don't you just get a new one?"
"Well, uh..." he looks around nervously but brightens up after a moment. "I wear pink 'cuz it gets all the ladies!"
*everyone sweatdrops*
"Yeah, maybe on Planet Gunsmoke," Ashley interrupts, "But here if you're a guy and you wear pink, you're pretty much a queer-bait."
"...queer-bait?"
"Bait for queers, my good son. Bait for queers."
"Oh God..."
"Yeah. One more question from the audience, please!" Ashley picks a girl with short brown hair and eyes, wearing a black shirt with white writing that says 'I'm glad I'm not your child' (nice! XD) and dark blue jeans.
"Hi, I'm Kay!"
"Hey Kay!"
"Okay Midvalley. So you play the saxophone and wear a hot pink shirt. ...do you have a crush on Knives?"
*falls over* "Do I have a gay arua or something here!?"
"...well, yeah."
"I didn't ask you! And NO, I do not have a crush on Knives or anyone else under his power!"
"Now what would Legato say if he heard you talking about Knives like that? Or him and the gung-ho guns even?"
"Well he's not here, so that's just too damn bad!"
"Bwa hahahahaha...that's just what you THINK."
"What?"
Joe taps on the microphone again and announces, "Here he is once again folks, Legato Bluesummers!"
Midvalley gasps of shock as his master storms onstage with a picture held tightly in one hand. To his great horror, he begins shouting, "Midvalley! You do not speak like that of Master and his minions! I should KILL you!"
"No, no! Please!" He begs.
"Fine. I won't KILL you. ..but I might just show everyone this picture..." he flashes it at him and grins.
"No," his eyes grow wide, "You can't! That'll ruin everything....all the hot babes, my image, EVERYTHING!"
"Ha haha haha haaaaaa."
"O-Okay. I won't say anything like that ever again about anyone you don't want me to."
"That's better." He pats his minion on the head and takes a seat. The couch was beginning to become quite crowded.
"OW!" Megan screeches as one of Legato's shoulder spikes pokes her. "Watch it!"
"........"
"Oh, oh! I have a question!" Ashley squeezes her way off the sofa and stands up. "What's the most bizzare thing Li-ga-toe has ever made you do?"
The implied man raises an eyebrow. "...Li-ga-toe?"
"Yes! Li-ga-toe!"
"...my name is Legato. Legato Bluesummers. Do not call me otherwise."
"...LI-GA-TOE!"
"Shut-up!" He makes her slap herself.
"LI-" *slap* "-GA-" *slap* "-TOOOEEEE!" *slap*
*sigh* "While were on the subject of myself..." *ponderponder* "...I think perhaps the most bizzare thing I've ever made Midvalley the Hornfreak do is recorded in this picture..."
"No!"
"...but I won't show it to you. ..hahaha."
"Well, give us at least ONE crazy thing you made him do!"
"...hmmm. I suppose making him play the triangle very loudly outside of Master's bedroom door was quite bizarre."
"Hey, I still got bruises from that."
"I know," he pauses and then smiles widely. "Oh, and another time, I hid Master's suit in Midvalley's quarters! He came storming into his room in the middle of the night with nothing on but a towel! He was PISSED!"
"YOU did that!?"
"Yes. Yes I did." He replies in his normal voice.
^^ "Li-ga-toe, you're bad!"
"I know. Isn't it just delicious?"
"NO, it is NOT!" Midvalley shouts. "I still got WELTS from that one!"
"...hahahahahaha."
"...well, those weren't the WORST ones." He explains. "He did the most horrid thing imaginable another time. I remember it so clearly...oh GOD!"
"Did he rip off your arm and re-attach it?" Megan asks
"No."
"Did he make you clean out the Thomas stables?"
"No."
*confused* "Then what did he do!?"
"He made me wear BLUUUUEEEEEEEEEEE!"
*faints* "That's IT!?"
"Yeah! Isn't it HORRIBLE!?"
"No!"
"...yes it IS!"
"No it ISN'T!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"Aha!"
"Damn you!" Megan points.
Legato sighs loudly. "Midvalley, I am tired. Take me home."
"...but Legaatoooooooo..."
"NOW!"
"Gyah! Yes sir!" He throws the man over his back and runs out of the Studio.
o.o "...that was strange."
"Yes it was."
The hosts exchange glances.
"A one, two, ONE TWO THREE FOUR!"
They start playing again. The strobe lights are back on. More people have seizures. Some stuff catches on fire.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
People scream and fall over each other trying to get to the exits and sirens are heard in the distance.
~*~*~*~*~*THE END...until next time*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Okay! Listen up! The next show will take place in the HOSPITAL! XD Oh yeah, we'll have lots of fun there. Next up is Caine the Longshot! You wanna ask him a question? Then review and add it in there. All audience questions will be on cards in the next episode since we can't take everyone to the hospital. ^^;; Sorry.
Oh yes. Some of the ideas in here belong to Ashley, but since it's late and I have other stuff to do (coughLAZYASScough), I'm not going to list them. If you want the specifics, ask her. Okay. *waves* Goodnight!
Disclaimer: Trigun = not mine. Megan, Studio, and Joe the Camera Guy = mine. Ashley = not mine. Sue = mean. Read + enjoy = review. ^^
~*~*~*~*~*Midvalley the Pinkfreak*~*~*~*~*~
Okay. The scene today is, well...UNUSUAL. A terrible ruckus is being made onstage, where Megan and Ashley are setting up some musical equipment. Speakers outline the Studio and Joe the Camera Guy has a microphone and a DJ panel in the back. With a couple of finishing touches and a few last minute attachments, Ashley jumps behind her drum set and Megan straps on her electric guitar. They were now ready for the arrival of the saxophone-playing, pink shirt-wearing, right-hand-man of Legato and gung-ho gun, Midvalley the Hornfreak.
A minute passes by, then another. The only sounds emitting from the stage are a few beats on the drum and a pluck or two from the guitar. The hosts look around impatiently.
"Bleh! Where IS that man!?"
"Pfft," Ashley taps her drum, "He's probably polishing his horn."
*GASP!* "That little whore!"
-.o "Aw, not like that Megan."
"...he's still a whore."
"Pimp."
"Whore."
"PIMP."
"WHORE."
"Pimp!"
"Manwhore!"
"Pimp!"
"He's a manwhore AND a pimp!"
"...he's a jazzman."
"He's DIRTY."
A tap on the microphone is heard from Joe as lights begin to flash. "Here he comes now, ladies and gentlemen! Midvalley the Hoooornfreeeeak!"
A man carrying a large saxophone walks onstage, waves to some girls, and looks behind him. Seeing no furniture, he asks, "Hey ladies, where do I sit?"
^^ "You don't," the shorter host states happily.
"...I see." He turns his attention to the Studio, eyeing the speakers and equipment set up around him. "...SO, what's the special occasion?"
"You are!" Ashley smacks a drum.
*getting all girly* "Reaallly!? Oh, thanks you guys! I just LOVE to perform!" He squints at the audience as things become dark and a spotlight catches him full in the face. "And in front of all these people!"
"Yep!" Megan smiles, knowing most of them are cardboard cut-outs.
"Okay! And without further adeu-" he puts his lips to the instrument and begins playing some blues.
Megan clutches her ears in pain, "Gyah! I'm bleeding!"
"Ahh! What are you DOing!?" Ashley wails.
He abruptly stops and stares at the two girls. "I'm making music."
"No, NO! THIS is music!" Megan plucks fiercely at her guitar strings and Ashley goes wild on her drums. Neither are in tune with each other. The lights flash back on and flames erupt from the stage, catching a few people and a considerable number of cut-outs on fire. They play on with their horrible music, both smiling and having no idea what's going on. Joe scratches some tapes in the back and grabs the mic. "Give it up for the FREAKS!" Strobe lights turn on. People start foaming at the mouth.
Midvalley frantically turns around and shreiks, "Stop it! You're giving them SEIZURES!!"
They play on, Megan yelling over the roar of their instruments, "But I thought you LIKED death!"
"I, I DO! Death is good! But they're the AUDIENCE! THEY LOVE MEEEEE!!!"
The hosts stop what they're doing. The flashing lights cease and everything pretty much returns to normal.
Ashley looks at him in disbelief, "Now what would Legato say if he heard that kind of talk?"
*GASP!* "Oh shit! I forgot about him!"
"You FORGOT about him!? Now what would he say about THAT!?"
He clamps his hand over his mouth. "Oh SHIIIIT!!"
They burst out laughing, "It's okay, relax! Have a seat!" Megan tries to snap her fingers, but since that's one of those things she can't but should be able to do (gyaaaaahh...), nothing is heard. Midvalley looks around. "I said SEAT!"
*silence*
"NOW!" A random Studio guy struggles to drag a couch onstage, drops it quickly, and runs back off.
"We have random Studio guys?" Ashley asks.
"Yeah, but the one we DO have is a cheap little bastard who only brought us a COU-CH!"
*silence*
"I want my chair NOW, damnit!"
*moresilence*
"Prick!"
"No, it's okay! We'll just have to share the sofa with Midvalley!"
The gung-ho gun shakes his head and holds up his heads. "No, no. I'm fine. I can stand."
"You will SIT!" Megan grabs his arm and pulls him onto the couch. This convienently places him between the two hosts.
Ashley looks him in the eyes, then down at his clothes, then back to his eyes. "You know your shirt is pink, right?"
"Yeah..."
"Good. Just wanted to inform you of that..." she looks down and up again, "Ya know, just in case you hadn't noticed."
"I've noticed this for a while, thanks."
Megan looks around, "Is it just me or are we missing some people from before...eh, it doesn't matter. Still looks pretty big, so how about we go to the audience for a while?"
"Sure."
"Alright!" she picks the first name that pops into her head. "Sheen Tacos!"
^^ "Yay!" She jumps up. "MIDVALLEY! Are you gay!?"
"Everytime..." Ashley mutters.
He sighs. "Does it LOOK like I'm gay?"
"...is that a trick question?"
"NO!"
"...well, you DO wear a pink shirt..."
"So what!? What's the matter with pink!?"
"...it's PINK..."
"Gyah! I put it in with Knives' laundry by mistake! And his SPACESUIT! It just bleeds all OVER the place! My shirt WAS white, but it got turned PINK! Okay!?"
-_- ... O.O .... -_- "Forget it."
"What?"
"Next question!"
The girl sits down and another rises. ...a really tall one. She's like 5'11". That's like...TALL. Or maybe I'm just really short
Whatever the case, she was wearing big black sweatpants and a sweater, had black spiky hair, weird grey eyes, and a...tail?
"Hey!" Megan shouts. "Nice, uh...tail!"
"The name's Raditz0! And I know, isn't it?" she turns to look at Midvalley. "Where in Kami's name did you get that saxophone!? I want it!"
"I..." he pauses and looks sad for an instant. He whispers something in Ashley's ear.
"Haha!"
*sadness*
"I mean, he can't tell you!" she pats him on the back. "If he told you, then EVERYONE would have one, and he wouldn't be special anymore."
*everyone* Awwwww!
"Sorry guys..."
"Hey, no biggie!" she mumbles something to herself. "Um, one more question! Why is your name Hornfreak? Why would you even WANT to be called Hornfreak?"
"Well, when it came time to pick our names, I thought up a couple that suited me well. Ya know, Midvalley the Sexybeast or Manbeast or just plain Sexbeast."
"So why didn't you get one of those?"
"It's all 'cuz of that little KID. You know, the one Wolfwood shot. Yeah, he got to pick his name first and he just HAD to pick Beast. Zazie the Beast. So I couldn't have the word Beast anywhere in my name. ...that little bastard. So then Legato made me practice playing the saxophone a lot more and slapped on the name Hornfreak."
"But aren't you like Legato's favorite?" Megan asks.
"It would seem so."
"Then shouldn't you get first dibs on the names!?"
*twitch* "Being his favorite also means getting messed with the most...I swear, he likes torturing me."
"Well, he IS Legato."
The girl sits down. Megan blurts out another name she can think of whose been on the show before. "Mimic12455!"
The guy stands up wearing all black, including a cloak with a hood, gloves, pants, a sword on his back, and that freaky-ass gas mask that covers his entire face.
"Ah, wait!" Megan screeches. "Is it mimic 12455 or mimic12355!?"
He just stands there and breathes through his mask.
"What's with that man!?"
*breath*
"...you're creepy. Anyway, from now on I shall call you mimic!"
"Right. Midvalley...you're sax. How do you get it to make that shockwave and what does a B-flat do?"
"Oh, this?" He picks up the instrument. "It doesn't really make SHOCKwaves. All you have to do is get it to link with the physical sensation of pain and you're all set!"
"So what exactly does the B-flat DO?"
He picks it up. "Would you like me to show you?"
"Gyah! NO!" Megan pulls him back into the seat. "That's okay, we don't need anymore damage to the Studio!"
"It's pretty much what he said before, mimic. Only he can direct it at someone using certain keys," explains Ashley.
*breath* "Thanks." *breath* He sits down.
"Creepy bastard..."
"I'd say it's time for one off a card. How about you, Megan?"
"...cards suck."
"Yeah, well, that's what happens when your reviewers don't add any descriptions or you're too dumb enough to find it." She takes out a card. "SaraWolf wants to know 'why your saxophone is named Sylvia...LOL'."
"...what's LOL mean?"
"Laugh out loud, man."
"Oh. ...what is she laughing about!?"
Megan laughs herself. "Er, I'm sure it's nothing. ...hahaha."
O.o "Right. Well, I named this baby Sylvia since it's such a nice *COUGHsexyCOUGH* name. She's the love of my life, what can I say?"
"Got a cold?"
"Yep."
"Me too."
"Oh...really?"
"Yeah, wanna see?" she goes into position to cough on him, but is stopped by a hand over her mouth.
"No Megan! We don't want the Studio to get your disease!"
"What!? I'm DISEASED!?"
"You've got a cold!"
"Gyah! Armagedon! ARM-a-FREAKIN'-GEDON!"
o.o;; "...yeah. So that's why I named it that."
Megan stops screaming. "No, I bet you call it a girl name so people don't think you're gay."
"What!? No! She's my sweet-heart!" He starts carressing the weapon.
o.- "Aw man. Go rub your horn somewhere else."
"And stop referring to it as 'her'!"
The hosts shout in unison: "Sicko!"
He stops what he's doing and looks around like he's confused. "What? What just happened?"
"You were doing dirty things..."
"...touching your horn..."
"...you dirty little bird."
"Okay, how about another audience question? ...and this time ask something about ME and not my sax! Don't you love me any moooorrrreee!?"
A couple of people raise their hands.
"...you suck."
"Be nice Midvalley!"
"Fine," he points to a girl, about 5'7'' (I need some platform shoes. you people make me feel short.), with long blonde hair pulled into a ponytail and blue eyes, wearing black and red clothing with chains 'n' some other nifty shit.
"Hey! I'm QuietOne! And, uh..." she faces the gung-ho gun with a raised eyebrow. "Are you trying to imitate John Travolta in 'Grease' with that black suit and pink shirt?"
The hosts burst out laughing. Midvalley ignores them. "No, I am not. For one, I'm much more handsome than this John guy, whoever you're talking about. And another, I already told you, it was an accident that my shirt turned pink."
"Why don't you just get a new one?"
"Well, uh..." he looks around nervously but brightens up after a moment. "I wear pink 'cuz it gets all the ladies!"
*everyone sweatdrops*
"Yeah, maybe on Planet Gunsmoke," Ashley interrupts, "But here if you're a guy and you wear pink, you're pretty much a queer-bait."
"...queer-bait?"
"Bait for queers, my good son. Bait for queers."
"Oh God..."
"Yeah. One more question from the audience, please!" Ashley picks a girl with short brown hair and eyes, wearing a black shirt with white writing that says 'I'm glad I'm not your child' (nice! XD) and dark blue jeans.
"Hi, I'm Kay!"
"Hey Kay!"
"Okay Midvalley. So you play the saxophone and wear a hot pink shirt. ...do you have a crush on Knives?"
*falls over* "Do I have a gay arua or something here!?"
"...well, yeah."
"I didn't ask you! And NO, I do not have a crush on Knives or anyone else under his power!"
"Now what would Legato say if he heard you talking about Knives like that? Or him and the gung-ho guns even?"
"Well he's not here, so that's just too damn bad!"
"Bwa hahahahaha...that's just what you THINK."
"What?"
Joe taps on the microphone again and announces, "Here he is once again folks, Legato Bluesummers!"
Midvalley gasps of shock as his master storms onstage with a picture held tightly in one hand. To his great horror, he begins shouting, "Midvalley! You do not speak like that of Master and his minions! I should KILL you!"
"No, no! Please!" He begs.
"Fine. I won't KILL you. ..but I might just show everyone this picture..." he flashes it at him and grins.
"No," his eyes grow wide, "You can't! That'll ruin everything....all the hot babes, my image, EVERYTHING!"
"Ha haha haha haaaaaa."
"O-Okay. I won't say anything like that ever again about anyone you don't want me to."
"That's better." He pats his minion on the head and takes a seat. The couch was beginning to become quite crowded.
"OW!" Megan screeches as one of Legato's shoulder spikes pokes her. "Watch it!"
"........"
"Oh, oh! I have a question!" Ashley squeezes her way off the sofa and stands up. "What's the most bizzare thing Li-ga-toe has ever made you do?"
The implied man raises an eyebrow. "...Li-ga-toe?"
"Yes! Li-ga-toe!"
"...my name is Legato. Legato Bluesummers. Do not call me otherwise."
"...LI-GA-TOE!"
"Shut-up!" He makes her slap herself.
"LI-" *slap* "-GA-" *slap* "-TOOOEEEE!" *slap*
*sigh* "While were on the subject of myself..." *ponderponder* "...I think perhaps the most bizzare thing I've ever made Midvalley the Hornfreak do is recorded in this picture..."
"No!"
"...but I won't show it to you. ..hahaha."
"Well, give us at least ONE crazy thing you made him do!"
"...hmmm. I suppose making him play the triangle very loudly outside of Master's bedroom door was quite bizarre."
"Hey, I still got bruises from that."
"I know," he pauses and then smiles widely. "Oh, and another time, I hid Master's suit in Midvalley's quarters! He came storming into his room in the middle of the night with nothing on but a towel! He was PISSED!"
"YOU did that!?"
"Yes. Yes I did." He replies in his normal voice.
^^ "Li-ga-toe, you're bad!"
"I know. Isn't it just delicious?"
"NO, it is NOT!" Midvalley shouts. "I still got WELTS from that one!"
"...hahahahahaha."
"...well, those weren't the WORST ones." He explains. "He did the most horrid thing imaginable another time. I remember it so clearly...oh GOD!"
"Did he rip off your arm and re-attach it?" Megan asks
"No."
"Did he make you clean out the Thomas stables?"
"No."
*confused* "Then what did he do!?"
"He made me wear BLUUUUEEEEEEEEEEE!"
*faints* "That's IT!?"
"Yeah! Isn't it HORRIBLE!?"
"No!"
"...yes it IS!"
"No it ISN'T!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"Aha!"
"Damn you!" Megan points.
Legato sighs loudly. "Midvalley, I am tired. Take me home."
"...but Legaatoooooooo..."
"NOW!"
"Gyah! Yes sir!" He throws the man over his back and runs out of the Studio.
o.o "...that was strange."
"Yes it was."
The hosts exchange glances.
"A one, two, ONE TWO THREE FOUR!"
They start playing again. The strobe lights are back on. More people have seizures. Some stuff catches on fire.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
People scream and fall over each other trying to get to the exits and sirens are heard in the distance.
~*~*~*~*~*THE END...until next time*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Okay! Listen up! The next show will take place in the HOSPITAL! XD Oh yeah, we'll have lots of fun there. Next up is Caine the Longshot! You wanna ask him a question? Then review and add it in there. All audience questions will be on cards in the next episode since we can't take everyone to the hospital. ^^;; Sorry.
Oh yes. Some of the ideas in here belong to Ashley, but since it's late and I have other stuff to do (coughLAZYASScough), I'm not going to list them. If you want the specifics, ask her. Okay. *waves* Goodnight!