A/N: Sloooowwww...laaazzzyyyy...GYAH! *slaps self* Hello! Thanks for all the reviews, couldn't go on without 'em! And sorry for the slow update, but I've been kinda busy and I wanted to wait for everyone to be able to ask a question...yeah. Takes some people a while to review. I know some haven't reviewed yet, but I wanted to do this chapter, so sorry. ^^;; Oh, and nice picture mimic! It was coooool! Nehoo, to answer some questions:
-Yes, you'll all have the opportunity to ask characters some stuff if you missed the chance to before. We're gonna have a special last episode where everyone comes on the show! It's gonna be craaazzyyyyyyy! XD (oh yeah. please don't review the stuff you wanna ask the characters you missed before until the after the second to last episode. that way all the reviews for that one will be together. thank you! ^^)
-Bwa hahahahaha! I was waiting for someone to ask about the insurance girls! *evil grin* What DID happen to them? Read and find out!
Disclaimer: NO OWN TRIGUN! *cowers from Raditz* No, don't beat me with the ugly stick! Here's the new chapter with Dominique! ^^ Enjoy!
~*~*~*~*~*Crushes and Invisible Slapping*~*~*~*~*~
Well, it turns out the Studio was in more of a mess than the hosts had anticipated. They left the previous show in a hurry due to the fact they didn't want their asses sued for setting people on fire and giving them seizures. The scene they left behind then was very different than the scene they saw now. You could say it appeared more, um...
"...dirty?" Megan asks as her and Ashley step into the mess that was now their Studio. "Is it just me or is this place more dirty?"
"Well, it's hard to tell..." She looks at the charred remains of the back wall "...um, maybe?"
Megan looks at the left wall. "Oh shiiiiiiiiitt." She walks quickly over to it, pulls a remote out from her pocket, and presses the red button. The secret door opens and she steps inside.
"Megan, what are you doing!?"
"Um, Ashley. When's the last time we fed the insurance girls?"
"...uh-oh." She whips out a packet of papers and starts flipping through them. "Let's see." She stops on one of the later pages. "Looks like they haven't eaten anything since chapter five."
"That explains it."
"Explains what?"
"Get some food and come over here...you might wanna see this."
She rushes offstage...well, what looks like offstage, grabs some food and heads back over to the wall. She steps inside with the tray and nearly drops it in surprise. "Dammmnnnn."
There were the two starving insurance girls. Millie was sitting on the floor gnawing at her arm, mumbling something about pudding. Meryl was standing in the corner, facing the wall.
"...is it dead?" Megan walks cautiously over to the smaller woman. She reaches out and turns her around. "Hellloooo?" She goes to poke her when Meryl's hand flies up and grabs her arm. "Ah! Demon! Deemooooon!"
"Vash?" She looks around wearily. "VashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVash?"
"DEMMOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNN!!"
"Vaaaaaaaaaaaaaash?"
"DEMOOOOOOOOOO-"
*WHACK!*
Megan slumps unconscious to the floor. Ashley stands over her with a frying pan. "Erm, how'd that get here?" She throws it over her shoulder and takes out the food. "Um...here ya go!" She shoves it at Meryl and drags her friend out the room.
"VashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVaaaaaaaaaaassshhhhh..."
The wall closes. Ashley slaps Megan to wake her up.
"-OOOONNNNNNNNNNN!" She looks around. "I mean...what was I talking about?"
"You were calling Meryl a demon."
"Oh yeah.....DEEMMOOOOOOOOOOON! DEMON! DEMONDEMONDEMON!" *gasp* "DEEEEE MMMMMOOOOO NNNNNNNNN! DEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOO" *gasp* "OOOOOOOOO" *gasp* "OOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!"
"...done already?"
"Nope." *clears throat* "DE-"
"YES YOU ARE!" Ashley slaps her hand over her mouth. In the back, a crowd of people are waiting to be told what to do. "Umm...Joe! Over there!" She points to a far corner. "Random Studio Guy, come here!" He runs over. She points to the right and he goes offstage. "And all the rest of you...um, let's see..." She looks around the Studio for somewhere to direct them. "Just a minute." She uncovers her friend's mouth. "Where should the audience sit?"
"DEMON! I mean, uh..." She looks around. "Okay everyone! Just take a seat where the old audience seats were and pray nothin' sharp crawls up your ass!"
A few mumbles are heard from the guests as they proceed to sit amongst the rubble. Someone screams and runs out of the Studio clutching their bum. Another squeaks in pain, but stays seated. Everyone quiets down within a few minutes.
"Alright, alright! I think it's time we get on with the interview!"
"Yeah! Give it up for Dominique the Cyclops!" Everyone claps. ......nothing happens.
"Wait...did we even ask her to come on our show yet?"
"Yeah. You did yesterday."
"Nooo. You did yesterday."
"Hold on. I thought you called her."
"I thought YOU called her."
"Oh, goddamnit..." Ashley takes out her cell phone and dials Dominique's number. "Yeah, hi. This is Ashley. No, you don't know me. Yes, that would be nice. No, I was thinking more along the lines of five minutes. No? You're busy? Oh, you're not busy? Oh, I see. Yeah. No, no, it's okay. Alright, maybe we can talk again some other time. Wait, what's that supposed to mean?"
*BLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP*
"Prick! She hung up on me!"
"Oh, gimme the goddamn phone!" Megan snatches it out of her hand and hits re-dial. "Yeah, hi. This is Megan. No. I'm a friend of Ashley's, she just called. What? No, nothing like that. Wait, don't you hang up on me! BEEEOOTCCHHH! Oh, that got your attention didn't it? Yeah, we're doin' a show. No sicko. Not that kinda show. An interview show. You know, we ask questions, you answer them. Sure. Of course. No. Of course not. Hey, don't gimme that bullshit! Get your ass over here right now! You will? YEAH! I mean, please hurry. We'll be waiting. Alright, bye."
Ashley stares at her.
"...what? Don't look at me like that."
"Did you get her?"
"Yeah. Should be over here in fi-"
A blur races across the stage and Dominique materializes.
"...forget that. Well, here she is ladies and gentlemen, Dominique the Cyclops!"
*cheering*
The gung-ho gun waves. "Thank you, thank you. I'm here till Friday."
"Hey Domi!"
"What!? Who said that?"
"I did!" Sheen Tacos stands up from her seated position.
"Don't call me Domi!"
"Okay Domi!" *takes a swig from a liter of livewire* "Hey, what's with the eye!? Are you tryin' to be the terminator's girlfriend or something!?"
"No you insolent brat! It's my weapon!" She opens her demon's eye and disappears momentarily. A resounding slap is heard from the audience and she re-appears onstage.
"Ow! What was that for Domi!?" Sheen Tacos shrieks and rubs her cheek.
"I said don't call me Domi!"
*SLAP!*
"Ow! Okay, okay!"
The woman smirks. Megan stares. "Hey. You have a piece of your lip missing."
"What?" She covers her mouth. "N-no I don't."
"Ah-ho! Yes you do!"
"No I DON'T!"
*SLAP!*
"Hey, you can't do that! I'm the Host!"
*another smirk*
Megan points. "See, see!? I told you! You don't have a whole lip! HAHA! Did someone bite it off!?"
She blushes.
"Hey Domi!" Sheen Tacos yells from the audience. "Can I have your Demon's Eye!?"
"No!"
"Oh, I forgot to say hi!" Megan turns to the girl. "Hi Sheen Tacos!"
"No no! Shuurei no Senshi!"
"Sure-I-no-what?"
"Suurei no Senshi! It means 'goes all batoussai on everything and nothing'!"
O.O...^_^ "That's awesome! Thanks for the question Shuurei no Senshi!"
"You're welcome!"
"Hey! We were on to somethin' a minute ago!" Ashley shouts. "You said somethin' about someone biting off a part of her lip and she blushed!"
"I didn't blush..." Her cheeks grow red.
"Yes you did! Just like you are now!"
"I'm not blushing..." They grow even redder.
"Yes you are!!"
"Shut-up! So what if I'm blushing! It doesn't mean I have a crush on Legato!"
*gasp!* "Who ever said anything about you liking Legato!?"
"Hey! Shhh! He might hear you!"
Megan joins in. "Legato and Domiii, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage-"
"Shut-up!"
"-then comes a baby in a baby carriage! That's not all, that's not all! They are drinking al-co-hol!"
"Well, I DO do that..."
"That's not it, that's not it! They are killing little shits!"
"Hey, I like where this song is going..."
"She kills a bunch 'a' people with her fast reflexes!"
"Yes! Keep going!"
"Then she goes home and has S-E-X!"
"No I don't! Shut-UP! That doesn't even rhyme!"
"...it almost does..."
"Well it doesn't, so you suck." She sticks out her tongue.
"Pfft. You're so mature."
"Who ever said I was mature?"
"Legato told me."
"What!? WHAT HAS HE BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT US!?"
"So," Ashley cuts in, "You and Legato ARE special friends...hint hint wink wink nudge nudge."
"No! Will you people just stop it already!?"
"Hey! I wanna know why you think you've even got a CHANCE with Legato! Because you DON'T! *grr* EVER!"
"What the hell!? Now who said THAT!?"
"I did!" Raditz jumps up.
"What did I ever do to you!? Leave me alone!"
"Oh, me next!" A girl with pale skin wearing mostly black stands up. "So then it IS true! You have a crush on Legato Bluesummers!"
"NOOOoooOOOOooOOOO!" The gung-ho gun screams dramatically and falls to the floor.
Everyone becomes silent.
Megan crouches down and pokes her. "Hey, we were just teasing."
"Heheh. No we weren't."
"Shut up Ashley!"
*sniffle* "Were you really?"
"Yeah. Now come on, we've got an interview to do!"
She jumps up a little too enthusiastically. "Alright! Here we go!"
"Pfft. What are you now, an actress?"
"Stop being mean to our guest!" Megan glares at her before turning back to Dominique. "Oh, what the hell. She's right. Why are you all like...woo-hoo! Look at my acting! I've got some skill man!"
She looks hurt for a moment. "What, you don't like it?"
"Well..."
"...noo..."
"...not really."
They shake their heads in unison.
"Oh, sorry. I was just trying it out."
"...trying what out?"
"Acting like a teacher."
"GYAH! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT!? CHILDREN ARE EVVIIIIILLLLLLLLL!!!" Megan screeches.
O.o "So anyway, when I was a little younger I wanted to be a first grade teacher. But it really didn't work out..."
"Ooo! Details, details!"
"Well, I went in for a day and everything was fine until the kids arrived."
*sweatdrop* "Yeah, bummer you had to have kids in your class."
"I know! I was all like 'get away from me mofos'! But that just made 'em cry and they were starting to really get out of my nerves."
-.o "Just the thought of crying children makes me cringe."
"So you can imagine what I was going through! That was when I just snapped and started throwing crap. I didn't hit anybody, but I had my demon's eye...I was a gung-ho gun then...and they couldn't see me so they started crying louder and I went home and I kinda, well..."
"You kinda well what?"
"...IkindofaskedKnives-samatoblowuptheschoolandthenhedidandeveryonewentboomandigotintroubleandtheykickedmeout. Andtheniwasbroke."
O.O "Alright, that hurt just to listen to you talk that fast."
*sticking finger in her ear* "Yeah, don't do that again."
"Ohsosorry."
"Stop it!"
"Hey, I have one more question!" The last audience member shouts. "Oh yeah, I'm Pudding333! How the heck did the eye behind your eyepatch turn all red? Is it some side-effect of wearing the actual eyepatch?"
"Nope. It's the only color they had."
o.O "The only color they had?"
"Yeah, I wanted this really gorgeous blue color, but red's the only one they had in stock."
"Oh...that sucks."
"Eh, it's grown on me."
The Studio suddenly shakes.
"What the hell was that?"
It shakes again.
"Whatever's doing that, cut it out!"
*BOOM!* A hole is made in the ceiling and mimic jumps down from it.
"Jesus Christ! Will you stop doing that!?"
He looks back at the chunk of ceiling he made collapse. "Oh, sorry about that."
"Well, did you have a question?"
"Yeah. Dominique, how did you get your eye and what exactly does it do?"
"Oh, well Knives ordered it in from-" She stops in mid-sentence. "Actually, I can't tell you where he got it from, but it was his idea. Then Legato took it over from there and now I have the Demon's Eye." She gets all starry-eyed. "He was so nice and gentllleee..."
O.O "Whoa. She's in denial."
She comes back to reality. "I mean...he was mean and rough and just JAMMED it in there."
The hosts burst out laughing.
"Oh geez, what now?"
"Hahahaha...he was rough."
"Yeah. Haha. He just JAMMED it in there."
*death glare* "What are you two getting at?"
*giggle* "Nothing." *gigglegiggle*
"...bitches. Anyway, when the patch opens, my eye gives off a hypnotic kind of charm and numbs the enemy's senses. Then it looks like I go really fast. It's really fun. Really." She disappears and returns to her spot on the stage within seconds.
Ashley looks around. "What'd you do?"
"Just said hi to someone."
"H-hey!" A guy stands up with no shirt. "Someone just licked my face!"
Everyone stares at Dominique.
"What?" She shoves the shirt behind her back.
"...riiiight. Anyway, who else wants to ask a question?"
A girl stands up.
"Hey Saro!"
"Hey! So, the, um, "place" you got your eye from isn't like a family company or anything, is it?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, was it like inheritance or something?"
"...I'llll neveeer teeelllllllll."
"Fine!" She sits down.
"Yeah, so I have a question." Ashley faces Dominique. "How the hell did you die? You were fine and then you were like...dead. That wasn't cool."
"...I'd rather not talk about it."
"Why? Was it painful?"
"No, not physically."
"Mentally then?"
"When I was killed for not doing the job, I was wounded spiritually. It's like my soul just...DIED."
"Oh, boo-hoo. What's the big deal?"
*sniff* "I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME LEGATOOO! WHY DID YOU THINK I HAD TO DIIEEEE!! COULDN"T YOU HAVE JUST TURNED YOUR CHEEK!? WE COULD HAVE RAN AWAY TOGETHER, AWAY FROM THAT BASTARD KNIVES!" *gasp!* "UNLESS...UNLESS YOU WERE SEEING HIM TOOOOO!? WAAAAAAAHHHHH! YOU BASTARD!!"
"...sorry for bringing up that horrible memory."
She wipes a tear away. "No, no. It's okay. I think I'm over it now."
o_o;; "I'm sure you are."
James Daly stands up in the audience, holding a sketch book and a folder full of fanfiction. "I have a question for Dominique!"
"Yeah? Go ahead."
*gets all dramatic* "Do you always have to keep your demon eye closed? WILL YOU EVER GET TO SEE THROUGH YOUR OTHER EYE!?"
"...well, no. At least not when I want to do something like this." She disappears. James Daly's fanfiction disappears. She comes back onstage.
"Hey! Where'd you put all those papers!?"
*evil grin* "It's a secret."
"Oh, you're bad." *lightbulb!* "Why don't you pose for me!?"
"What?"
"Come on! It'll be fun! Just strike any pose you want and I can sketch you!"
"...sounds cool." She crouches down low and puts a finger to her lip.
"Oh, you're naughty!" He scribbles furiously in his book.
:::::30 SECONDS LATER:::::
"All done!"
A look of surprise crosses over Dominique's face. "Already?"
"Yeah!"
She uses her eye to snatch the paper away from him. "What!? This is a stick figure!"
"Hey, give it back!"
"You made me look FAT!"
"How can I make you look fat if you're a STICK figure!?"
"...I dunno! But you DID!" She throws the book at him. "Take you're stupid fat stick person BACK!"
"Fine! Have it your way!" He crosses his arms and sits down.
O.O "My my. Aren't we all so nice today?"
"Yes we are Megan." Ashley comments.
"Alright, I'm just gonna call off people's names I know! If you wanna ask a question, stand up! ERIKS!"
"Yes! Dominique, can I join the gang?"
"...can you WHAT?"
"Can I join the gang? Pretty pleeaasseee?"
"...no."
"Oh come on!"
"Hey, I'm not the one who decides these kind of things! You gotta go ask Legato or Knives or someone!"
^^ "I think I'll go do that!"
"Pfft. They'll just say no anyway."
"Hey!" Megan interrupts. "There will be no dream-breaking in this Studio!"
"Whatever."
"A'ight! Um, how about Aurus!?"
The oddly-dressed girl stands up. "Hello! A friend of mine's going to a convention and she's gonna cosplay Dominique! So I was wonderin'...since she can't find any good stuff for a costume...where you got yours?"
"What is with you people!? I will never tell you ANYTHIIINNG!"
"...can she use YOUR clothes then?"
"Hell no! I'm better than that! Why should I let her borrow my clothes! That's just wrong! PLUS, I don't want no hoe walking around lookin' like me! No way!"
"Hey! Don't call her a hoe you bitch!"
"Bitch!? DIEEE!" Before she can take off, the hosts grab her by the arms and prevent her from using the demon's eye. "Hey! Let me go!"
"No! We've got other things to do! More people have questions!"
She rips her arms away. "Fine. But next time there's gonna be a smack down." She glares at Aurus. Aurus glares back.
"Oh geez. Enough of that. Anyone else got a question!?"
Another girl stands up. "Hi! I'm kitsundemon! SHHIIIIINNYYYYY! Anyway, Dominique! Do you like kitsune or foxes!? I love foxes, they're so cute and fuzzy and that's why I'm cute and fuzzy like the kitsune or fox! I love the fuzzy white tail with the cute brown tip and the white ears with brown! It's so kawaii!" ^.^
*getting all girly* "I like foxes! They remind me of my sweet little Legato-poo! They're so cute and fuzzy! I just love 'em!" ^^
^^ "Yay!"
^^ "Yay!"
*in unison* "YAAAYYY!" ^^
o_o;; "Oh please, no more."
Ashley winces. "Yeah, how about one more question?"
A girl with red hair and blue eyes wearing a black t-shirt and jeans stands up. "Hey there! I'm NeptuneHelena! My question is why did Dominique run like a little schoolgirl after her *cough* Demon's Eye got shot off? Can't she fight like a normal person? Does she depend on that eye for everything? DOESN'T SHE AMOUNT TO ANYTHING!? WORTHLESS FREAK!!"
*stare*
"Oh, sorry. I don't like her."
The gung-ho gun just sits there. "Sorry to tell you this NeptuneHelena, I mean, this must be so embarassing for you...but I'm standing RIGHT HERE!!"
"Oh. Didn't see you there."
"My ass you didn't! First of all, he didn't shoot it off, he shot the patch and it broke! He figured out how to evade my demon's eye! It still works though!" She runs up and slaps her. "Second of all, I had no choice but to run away when he figured it out! He would've shot me! Do you know how much being shot hurts!?" She slaps her again. "And thirdly, YES, I can fight like a normal person! I just chose not to because he's frikkin VASH THE STAMPEDE!!" *slap!*
"Hey! Stop slapping our audience members!"
"Make me!"
"Tell ya what! You clean up our entire Studio and you can do whatever you want! ...as long as you don't ruin it again."
"Hmm....it's a deal!" Dominique's eyepatch opens and she takes off in a flash. Things are being picked up left and right as though by an invisible force. Walls are set back up, ceiling chunks are fitted back into place, and new audience seats are brought in. By the end of five minutes, the place was cleaner than it had ever been before.
"Holy shit! Good job Dominique!"
She straightens her clothes out. "Hey, what can I say? I'm a goddess."
"Yes you are!"
Ashley snaps her fingers and bodyguards march out onto the stage.
"What's going on?"
They grab Dominique and start dragging her towards the exit.
"What!? What the hell do you think you're doing!? You said I could do whatever I wanted to!"
"I lied."
"Bastarrrrdsssssss!!" She screams before the door shuts.
The hosts compose themselves before turning to the camera. "With the Studio clean and everyone happy, it's time to say goodnight. It's been a wild one. Now go to bed!" They wave before the show ends.
~*~*~*~*~*THE END...I lied AGAIN! HA!*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Hope you liked the chapter! *looks over it* Damn that was long! Well, please review! Next up is Hopperd the Gauntlet and Grey the Nine Lives (did I spell their names right???). That's right! They will be TOGETHER!! Why? Don't ask stupid questions!
^^ PLEASE REVIEW!! ^^
-Yes, you'll all have the opportunity to ask characters some stuff if you missed the chance to before. We're gonna have a special last episode where everyone comes on the show! It's gonna be craaazzyyyyyyy! XD (oh yeah. please don't review the stuff you wanna ask the characters you missed before until the after the second to last episode. that way all the reviews for that one will be together. thank you! ^^)
-Bwa hahahahaha! I was waiting for someone to ask about the insurance girls! *evil grin* What DID happen to them? Read and find out!
Disclaimer: NO OWN TRIGUN! *cowers from Raditz* No, don't beat me with the ugly stick! Here's the new chapter with Dominique! ^^ Enjoy!
~*~*~*~*~*Crushes and Invisible Slapping*~*~*~*~*~
Well, it turns out the Studio was in more of a mess than the hosts had anticipated. They left the previous show in a hurry due to the fact they didn't want their asses sued for setting people on fire and giving them seizures. The scene they left behind then was very different than the scene they saw now. You could say it appeared more, um...
"...dirty?" Megan asks as her and Ashley step into the mess that was now their Studio. "Is it just me or is this place more dirty?"
"Well, it's hard to tell..." She looks at the charred remains of the back wall "...um, maybe?"
Megan looks at the left wall. "Oh shiiiiiiiiitt." She walks quickly over to it, pulls a remote out from her pocket, and presses the red button. The secret door opens and she steps inside.
"Megan, what are you doing!?"
"Um, Ashley. When's the last time we fed the insurance girls?"
"...uh-oh." She whips out a packet of papers and starts flipping through them. "Let's see." She stops on one of the later pages. "Looks like they haven't eaten anything since chapter five."
"That explains it."
"Explains what?"
"Get some food and come over here...you might wanna see this."
She rushes offstage...well, what looks like offstage, grabs some food and heads back over to the wall. She steps inside with the tray and nearly drops it in surprise. "Dammmnnnn."
There were the two starving insurance girls. Millie was sitting on the floor gnawing at her arm, mumbling something about pudding. Meryl was standing in the corner, facing the wall.
"...is it dead?" Megan walks cautiously over to the smaller woman. She reaches out and turns her around. "Hellloooo?" She goes to poke her when Meryl's hand flies up and grabs her arm. "Ah! Demon! Deemooooon!"
"Vash?" She looks around wearily. "VashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVash?"
"DEMMOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNN!!"
"Vaaaaaaaaaaaaaash?"
"DEMOOOOOOOOOO-"
*WHACK!*
Megan slumps unconscious to the floor. Ashley stands over her with a frying pan. "Erm, how'd that get here?" She throws it over her shoulder and takes out the food. "Um...here ya go!" She shoves it at Meryl and drags her friend out the room.
"VashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVashVaaaaaaaaaaassshhhhh..."
The wall closes. Ashley slaps Megan to wake her up.
"-OOOONNNNNNNNNNN!" She looks around. "I mean...what was I talking about?"
"You were calling Meryl a demon."
"Oh yeah.....DEEMMOOOOOOOOOOON! DEMON! DEMONDEMONDEMON!" *gasp* "DEEEEE MMMMMOOOOO NNNNNNNNN! DEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOO" *gasp* "OOOOOOOOO" *gasp* "OOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!"
"...done already?"
"Nope." *clears throat* "DE-"
"YES YOU ARE!" Ashley slaps her hand over her mouth. In the back, a crowd of people are waiting to be told what to do. "Umm...Joe! Over there!" She points to a far corner. "Random Studio Guy, come here!" He runs over. She points to the right and he goes offstage. "And all the rest of you...um, let's see..." She looks around the Studio for somewhere to direct them. "Just a minute." She uncovers her friend's mouth. "Where should the audience sit?"
"DEMON! I mean, uh..." She looks around. "Okay everyone! Just take a seat where the old audience seats were and pray nothin' sharp crawls up your ass!"
A few mumbles are heard from the guests as they proceed to sit amongst the rubble. Someone screams and runs out of the Studio clutching their bum. Another squeaks in pain, but stays seated. Everyone quiets down within a few minutes.
"Alright, alright! I think it's time we get on with the interview!"
"Yeah! Give it up for Dominique the Cyclops!" Everyone claps. ......nothing happens.
"Wait...did we even ask her to come on our show yet?"
"Yeah. You did yesterday."
"Nooo. You did yesterday."
"Hold on. I thought you called her."
"I thought YOU called her."
"Oh, goddamnit..." Ashley takes out her cell phone and dials Dominique's number. "Yeah, hi. This is Ashley. No, you don't know me. Yes, that would be nice. No, I was thinking more along the lines of five minutes. No? You're busy? Oh, you're not busy? Oh, I see. Yeah. No, no, it's okay. Alright, maybe we can talk again some other time. Wait, what's that supposed to mean?"
*BLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP*
"Prick! She hung up on me!"
"Oh, gimme the goddamn phone!" Megan snatches it out of her hand and hits re-dial. "Yeah, hi. This is Megan. No. I'm a friend of Ashley's, she just called. What? No, nothing like that. Wait, don't you hang up on me! BEEEOOTCCHHH! Oh, that got your attention didn't it? Yeah, we're doin' a show. No sicko. Not that kinda show. An interview show. You know, we ask questions, you answer them. Sure. Of course. No. Of course not. Hey, don't gimme that bullshit! Get your ass over here right now! You will? YEAH! I mean, please hurry. We'll be waiting. Alright, bye."
Ashley stares at her.
"...what? Don't look at me like that."
"Did you get her?"
"Yeah. Should be over here in fi-"
A blur races across the stage and Dominique materializes.
"...forget that. Well, here she is ladies and gentlemen, Dominique the Cyclops!"
*cheering*
The gung-ho gun waves. "Thank you, thank you. I'm here till Friday."
"Hey Domi!"
"What!? Who said that?"
"I did!" Sheen Tacos stands up from her seated position.
"Don't call me Domi!"
"Okay Domi!" *takes a swig from a liter of livewire* "Hey, what's with the eye!? Are you tryin' to be the terminator's girlfriend or something!?"
"No you insolent brat! It's my weapon!" She opens her demon's eye and disappears momentarily. A resounding slap is heard from the audience and she re-appears onstage.
"Ow! What was that for Domi!?" Sheen Tacos shrieks and rubs her cheek.
"I said don't call me Domi!"
*SLAP!*
"Ow! Okay, okay!"
The woman smirks. Megan stares. "Hey. You have a piece of your lip missing."
"What?" She covers her mouth. "N-no I don't."
"Ah-ho! Yes you do!"
"No I DON'T!"
*SLAP!*
"Hey, you can't do that! I'm the Host!"
*another smirk*
Megan points. "See, see!? I told you! You don't have a whole lip! HAHA! Did someone bite it off!?"
She blushes.
"Hey Domi!" Sheen Tacos yells from the audience. "Can I have your Demon's Eye!?"
"No!"
"Oh, I forgot to say hi!" Megan turns to the girl. "Hi Sheen Tacos!"
"No no! Shuurei no Senshi!"
"Sure-I-no-what?"
"Suurei no Senshi! It means 'goes all batoussai on everything and nothing'!"
O.O...^_^ "That's awesome! Thanks for the question Shuurei no Senshi!"
"You're welcome!"
"Hey! We were on to somethin' a minute ago!" Ashley shouts. "You said somethin' about someone biting off a part of her lip and she blushed!"
"I didn't blush..." Her cheeks grow red.
"Yes you did! Just like you are now!"
"I'm not blushing..." They grow even redder.
"Yes you are!!"
"Shut-up! So what if I'm blushing! It doesn't mean I have a crush on Legato!"
*gasp!* "Who ever said anything about you liking Legato!?"
"Hey! Shhh! He might hear you!"
Megan joins in. "Legato and Domiii, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage-"
"Shut-up!"
"-then comes a baby in a baby carriage! That's not all, that's not all! They are drinking al-co-hol!"
"Well, I DO do that..."
"That's not it, that's not it! They are killing little shits!"
"Hey, I like where this song is going..."
"She kills a bunch 'a' people with her fast reflexes!"
"Yes! Keep going!"
"Then she goes home and has S-E-X!"
"No I don't! Shut-UP! That doesn't even rhyme!"
"...it almost does..."
"Well it doesn't, so you suck." She sticks out her tongue.
"Pfft. You're so mature."
"Who ever said I was mature?"
"Legato told me."
"What!? WHAT HAS HE BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT US!?"
"So," Ashley cuts in, "You and Legato ARE special friends...hint hint wink wink nudge nudge."
"No! Will you people just stop it already!?"
"Hey! I wanna know why you think you've even got a CHANCE with Legato! Because you DON'T! *grr* EVER!"
"What the hell!? Now who said THAT!?"
"I did!" Raditz jumps up.
"What did I ever do to you!? Leave me alone!"
"Oh, me next!" A girl with pale skin wearing mostly black stands up. "So then it IS true! You have a crush on Legato Bluesummers!"
"NOOOoooOOOOooOOOO!" The gung-ho gun screams dramatically and falls to the floor.
Everyone becomes silent.
Megan crouches down and pokes her. "Hey, we were just teasing."
"Heheh. No we weren't."
"Shut up Ashley!"
*sniffle* "Were you really?"
"Yeah. Now come on, we've got an interview to do!"
She jumps up a little too enthusiastically. "Alright! Here we go!"
"Pfft. What are you now, an actress?"
"Stop being mean to our guest!" Megan glares at her before turning back to Dominique. "Oh, what the hell. She's right. Why are you all like...woo-hoo! Look at my acting! I've got some skill man!"
She looks hurt for a moment. "What, you don't like it?"
"Well..."
"...noo..."
"...not really."
They shake their heads in unison.
"Oh, sorry. I was just trying it out."
"...trying what out?"
"Acting like a teacher."
"GYAH! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT!? CHILDREN ARE EVVIIIIILLLLLLLLL!!!" Megan screeches.
O.o "So anyway, when I was a little younger I wanted to be a first grade teacher. But it really didn't work out..."
"Ooo! Details, details!"
"Well, I went in for a day and everything was fine until the kids arrived."
*sweatdrop* "Yeah, bummer you had to have kids in your class."
"I know! I was all like 'get away from me mofos'! But that just made 'em cry and they were starting to really get out of my nerves."
-.o "Just the thought of crying children makes me cringe."
"So you can imagine what I was going through! That was when I just snapped and started throwing crap. I didn't hit anybody, but I had my demon's eye...I was a gung-ho gun then...and they couldn't see me so they started crying louder and I went home and I kinda, well..."
"You kinda well what?"
"...IkindofaskedKnives-samatoblowuptheschoolandthenhedidandeveryonewentboomandigotintroubleandtheykickedmeout. Andtheniwasbroke."
O.O "Alright, that hurt just to listen to you talk that fast."
*sticking finger in her ear* "Yeah, don't do that again."
"Ohsosorry."
"Stop it!"
"Hey, I have one more question!" The last audience member shouts. "Oh yeah, I'm Pudding333! How the heck did the eye behind your eyepatch turn all red? Is it some side-effect of wearing the actual eyepatch?"
"Nope. It's the only color they had."
o.O "The only color they had?"
"Yeah, I wanted this really gorgeous blue color, but red's the only one they had in stock."
"Oh...that sucks."
"Eh, it's grown on me."
The Studio suddenly shakes.
"What the hell was that?"
It shakes again.
"Whatever's doing that, cut it out!"
*BOOM!* A hole is made in the ceiling and mimic jumps down from it.
"Jesus Christ! Will you stop doing that!?"
He looks back at the chunk of ceiling he made collapse. "Oh, sorry about that."
"Well, did you have a question?"
"Yeah. Dominique, how did you get your eye and what exactly does it do?"
"Oh, well Knives ordered it in from-" She stops in mid-sentence. "Actually, I can't tell you where he got it from, but it was his idea. Then Legato took it over from there and now I have the Demon's Eye." She gets all starry-eyed. "He was so nice and gentllleee..."
O.O "Whoa. She's in denial."
She comes back to reality. "I mean...he was mean and rough and just JAMMED it in there."
The hosts burst out laughing.
"Oh geez, what now?"
"Hahahaha...he was rough."
"Yeah. Haha. He just JAMMED it in there."
*death glare* "What are you two getting at?"
*giggle* "Nothing." *gigglegiggle*
"...bitches. Anyway, when the patch opens, my eye gives off a hypnotic kind of charm and numbs the enemy's senses. Then it looks like I go really fast. It's really fun. Really." She disappears and returns to her spot on the stage within seconds.
Ashley looks around. "What'd you do?"
"Just said hi to someone."
"H-hey!" A guy stands up with no shirt. "Someone just licked my face!"
Everyone stares at Dominique.
"What?" She shoves the shirt behind her back.
"...riiiight. Anyway, who else wants to ask a question?"
A girl stands up.
"Hey Saro!"
"Hey! So, the, um, "place" you got your eye from isn't like a family company or anything, is it?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, was it like inheritance or something?"
"...I'llll neveeer teeelllllllll."
"Fine!" She sits down.
"Yeah, so I have a question." Ashley faces Dominique. "How the hell did you die? You were fine and then you were like...dead. That wasn't cool."
"...I'd rather not talk about it."
"Why? Was it painful?"
"No, not physically."
"Mentally then?"
"When I was killed for not doing the job, I was wounded spiritually. It's like my soul just...DIED."
"Oh, boo-hoo. What's the big deal?"
*sniff* "I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME LEGATOOO! WHY DID YOU THINK I HAD TO DIIEEEE!! COULDN"T YOU HAVE JUST TURNED YOUR CHEEK!? WE COULD HAVE RAN AWAY TOGETHER, AWAY FROM THAT BASTARD KNIVES!" *gasp!* "UNLESS...UNLESS YOU WERE SEEING HIM TOOOOO!? WAAAAAAAHHHHH! YOU BASTARD!!"
"...sorry for bringing up that horrible memory."
She wipes a tear away. "No, no. It's okay. I think I'm over it now."
o_o;; "I'm sure you are."
James Daly stands up in the audience, holding a sketch book and a folder full of fanfiction. "I have a question for Dominique!"
"Yeah? Go ahead."
*gets all dramatic* "Do you always have to keep your demon eye closed? WILL YOU EVER GET TO SEE THROUGH YOUR OTHER EYE!?"
"...well, no. At least not when I want to do something like this." She disappears. James Daly's fanfiction disappears. She comes back onstage.
"Hey! Where'd you put all those papers!?"
*evil grin* "It's a secret."
"Oh, you're bad." *lightbulb!* "Why don't you pose for me!?"
"What?"
"Come on! It'll be fun! Just strike any pose you want and I can sketch you!"
"...sounds cool." She crouches down low and puts a finger to her lip.
"Oh, you're naughty!" He scribbles furiously in his book.
:::::30 SECONDS LATER:::::
"All done!"
A look of surprise crosses over Dominique's face. "Already?"
"Yeah!"
She uses her eye to snatch the paper away from him. "What!? This is a stick figure!"
"Hey, give it back!"
"You made me look FAT!"
"How can I make you look fat if you're a STICK figure!?"
"...I dunno! But you DID!" She throws the book at him. "Take you're stupid fat stick person BACK!"
"Fine! Have it your way!" He crosses his arms and sits down.
O.O "My my. Aren't we all so nice today?"
"Yes we are Megan." Ashley comments.
"Alright, I'm just gonna call off people's names I know! If you wanna ask a question, stand up! ERIKS!"
"Yes! Dominique, can I join the gang?"
"...can you WHAT?"
"Can I join the gang? Pretty pleeaasseee?"
"...no."
"Oh come on!"
"Hey, I'm not the one who decides these kind of things! You gotta go ask Legato or Knives or someone!"
^^ "I think I'll go do that!"
"Pfft. They'll just say no anyway."
"Hey!" Megan interrupts. "There will be no dream-breaking in this Studio!"
"Whatever."
"A'ight! Um, how about Aurus!?"
The oddly-dressed girl stands up. "Hello! A friend of mine's going to a convention and she's gonna cosplay Dominique! So I was wonderin'...since she can't find any good stuff for a costume...where you got yours?"
"What is with you people!? I will never tell you ANYTHIIINNG!"
"...can she use YOUR clothes then?"
"Hell no! I'm better than that! Why should I let her borrow my clothes! That's just wrong! PLUS, I don't want no hoe walking around lookin' like me! No way!"
"Hey! Don't call her a hoe you bitch!"
"Bitch!? DIEEE!" Before she can take off, the hosts grab her by the arms and prevent her from using the demon's eye. "Hey! Let me go!"
"No! We've got other things to do! More people have questions!"
She rips her arms away. "Fine. But next time there's gonna be a smack down." She glares at Aurus. Aurus glares back.
"Oh geez. Enough of that. Anyone else got a question!?"
Another girl stands up. "Hi! I'm kitsundemon! SHHIIIIINNYYYYY! Anyway, Dominique! Do you like kitsune or foxes!? I love foxes, they're so cute and fuzzy and that's why I'm cute and fuzzy like the kitsune or fox! I love the fuzzy white tail with the cute brown tip and the white ears with brown! It's so kawaii!" ^.^
*getting all girly* "I like foxes! They remind me of my sweet little Legato-poo! They're so cute and fuzzy! I just love 'em!" ^^
^^ "Yay!"
^^ "Yay!"
*in unison* "YAAAYYY!" ^^
o_o;; "Oh please, no more."
Ashley winces. "Yeah, how about one more question?"
A girl with red hair and blue eyes wearing a black t-shirt and jeans stands up. "Hey there! I'm NeptuneHelena! My question is why did Dominique run like a little schoolgirl after her *cough* Demon's Eye got shot off? Can't she fight like a normal person? Does she depend on that eye for everything? DOESN'T SHE AMOUNT TO ANYTHING!? WORTHLESS FREAK!!"
*stare*
"Oh, sorry. I don't like her."
The gung-ho gun just sits there. "Sorry to tell you this NeptuneHelena, I mean, this must be so embarassing for you...but I'm standing RIGHT HERE!!"
"Oh. Didn't see you there."
"My ass you didn't! First of all, he didn't shoot it off, he shot the patch and it broke! He figured out how to evade my demon's eye! It still works though!" She runs up and slaps her. "Second of all, I had no choice but to run away when he figured it out! He would've shot me! Do you know how much being shot hurts!?" She slaps her again. "And thirdly, YES, I can fight like a normal person! I just chose not to because he's frikkin VASH THE STAMPEDE!!" *slap!*
"Hey! Stop slapping our audience members!"
"Make me!"
"Tell ya what! You clean up our entire Studio and you can do whatever you want! ...as long as you don't ruin it again."
"Hmm....it's a deal!" Dominique's eyepatch opens and she takes off in a flash. Things are being picked up left and right as though by an invisible force. Walls are set back up, ceiling chunks are fitted back into place, and new audience seats are brought in. By the end of five minutes, the place was cleaner than it had ever been before.
"Holy shit! Good job Dominique!"
She straightens her clothes out. "Hey, what can I say? I'm a goddess."
"Yes you are!"
Ashley snaps her fingers and bodyguards march out onto the stage.
"What's going on?"
They grab Dominique and start dragging her towards the exit.
"What!? What the hell do you think you're doing!? You said I could do whatever I wanted to!"
"I lied."
"Bastarrrrdsssssss!!" She screams before the door shuts.
The hosts compose themselves before turning to the camera. "With the Studio clean and everyone happy, it's time to say goodnight. It's been a wild one. Now go to bed!" They wave before the show ends.
~*~*~*~*~*THE END...I lied AGAIN! HA!*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Hope you liked the chapter! *looks over it* Damn that was long! Well, please review! Next up is Hopperd the Gauntlet and Grey the Nine Lives (did I spell their names right???). That's right! They will be TOGETHER!! Why? Don't ask stupid questions!
^^ PLEASE REVIEW!! ^^