A/N: Oh Gods! *swears profusely* Long time no see everybody!
Knives: Now apologize before they throw something at you.
The hell I will! *is beamed in the head by a table lamp*
Knives: Foolish girl...
@_@ Shut up.
Knives: Well now, since she's too stupid-
Hey!
Knives: ...stubborn...to say that one little word, I guess I'll have to do it.
NO! The S word is forbidden damnit!
Knives: ...fine. Then you can all go to hell.
That's mah boy.
Knives: ...freak. She thanks you all for reviewing and hopes you'll keep reading. If not...it's your loss. I really don't think she's interested in this story anymore...
No one asked you!
Knives: In any case, I know she'll finish it because she's a stupid spider...
I'll show you spider.
Knives: Down girl.
*mutter grumble* Here it is ladies and gents, enjoy.
~*~*~*~*~*Barney Lover*~*~*~*~*~
"My...poor little bum..." Megan rubs said body part and takes a seat on her chair. "On second thought," she gets back up, "I think I'll stand."
"You whore!" Ashley follows example. "Bloody hell, it feels like a stick crawled up my ass!"
"That it does." She winces as the Studio lights turn on. "Hey, wha? We don't have a show today."
"That damn car ride broke my ass!" Ashley growls. "We better not have a show today..."
"Um...sorry girls," Joe replies feebly from the back. "We had a misunderstanding in our schedules."
"But...my ass is sore!"
He quirks an eyebrow. "If we didn't have a show, why would you two be here anyway?"
"...because. We don't wanna go home. Ever."
"What she said."
"Alright, well the guests should be here any min-"
A swarm of people rush into the building and take their seats as the audience.
"...ute."
"Well now, thanks for the warning."
Joe scratches his head and Megan waddles her way over to the secret room, pressing her ear to the wall. "Are you guys alive in there?"
She hears a scuffle or two, and then silence.
"...are you huuungry?"
No answer.
She mutters profanities under her breath before fetching the remote and opening the doors. "Hellooo?"
"Now Millie!" A blur of white and purple slams into the small host, knocking her down. "Get the other one!"
"Sempaaaii..." The dim insurance girl bites her lip at the glaring host. "I think she's angry..."
"Millie!"
"Meryl," Megan calmly states, "Remove yourself from my person immediately or suffer the consequences."
"No way! You've had us in there long enough!"
She sighs. "I don't think so." She grabs her arm and twists it around her back, making her yelp in pain.
"Why you little shit--!"
She elbows her lightly in the mouth and flips her over, pinning her down with a knee on her neck. "Ugh..." She puts on a strange smile. "That really hurt my ass."
"Get off of me!" She flails.
"Nope."
"Megan...you have issues," her counterpart continues glaring at Millie.
"That's nice. Where's Monev?"
"Comiingg!" A sickeningly sweet voice calls from the side of the stage. Monev comes out (of the closet *cough*) in all his purple glory. "Hello muffins!"
Megan's lip twitches. "Muffins?"
He just smiles gaily.
Megan takes this time to sweatdrop and nod down at Meryl. "You wanna give me a hand?"
"Oh, sure!" He practically skips over to her and throws the disheveled insurance girl over his shoulder. "Where to?"
She narrows her eyes. The sing-song voice was startin' to get to her. "Over there," she points to the gaping space in the wall.
He strides over to it and dumps her in one of the dark corners. "Is that everything?"
"No...take her too." She gestures to a dumbfounded Millie.
"Alrighty then!" He swoops her up with ease and puts her in the room as well, clapping his hands daintily when he's finished. "All done!"
Megan pushes the red button with some difficulty. "Monev?"
"Yes, muffin?"
She shakes her head wistfully. "Exactly how flamboyant are you?"
"Hm?" He takes a seat on the couch, nearly crushing it, and crosses his legs. "How do you mean?"
"...that."
"What? Can't a bodybuilder enjoy the finer things in life?"
"Of course they can..." She mutters something unintelligible. "Let me re- phrase that. Are you giddy like a schoolgirl?"
"...I'm afraid I don't understand the question." He laces his fingers together and sets them on his knee.
She looks away. "Never mind, I got it."
Ashley looks back and forth between the two of them. "...questions anybody?"
Hands shoot up from the crowd, and a couple teens jump to their feet. "Who are you?!" Someone yells.
"That's WindGoddessRind, by the way..."
"Um...I am, Monev the Gale."
"Really?" She asks sarcastically.
"Yep. First Gung-Ho Gun, striking fear into the hearts of millions, blah blah blah..."
The hosts raise their eyebrows.
"But, enough of all that gruesome stuff! I like painting, riding horsies (imagine that -.-), making crafts, playing with kittens, dancing..." He continues listing off little girl hobbies, making Ashley stare in shock and Megan bash her head repeatedly into the arm of her chair. "...singing, jumping on trampolines, hop-scotch-"
"Basta!" Megan shouts, waving her arms.
Monev stops chattering and stares. "Pardon?"
Ashley sighs and grabs her friend's flailing limbs. "She has random bouts of Spanish. ...it means 'enough'."
*shifty eyes* "Okaay..."
"Heh," she smiles weakly and turns back to the audience. "Anyone else?"
A tall girl with a familiar Saiyan tail stands up. "I'd like to know why you thought that spandex, let alone purple spandex, would scare the hell outta anyone in any way other than making them vomit in disgust."
"Heh. That's Raditz."
"Yes," she nods. "Men should be prohibited from Spandex."
"Well, uh...it grants me a wide range of motion...doesn't restrict me...and, uh..."
By this point the hosts are laughing their asses off.
"What?"
"N-nothing," Megan sputters. "Nothing at all."
He gives her a look before informing everyone that purple was the only color they had in stock. And it's pretty...'n stuff...
"Ahem, yes, right. More questions?"
"Hello Monev!" Saro Wolf shouts. "Isn't your middle name Hurricane? I read that in the manga...you're very weird... isn't that big gun heavy?"
He blinks a few times. "...my gun?"
"Yes, your gun."
"No, not really. Not when you're..." *strikes pose* "The Hurricane!"
*widespread face-plant*
"So is that a yes?"
"I added it on for shits and giggles."
Megan brushes her pants off. "Did you just use the phrase 'shits and giggles'?"
"Yep." *grin*
"...ew."
"Hey, Monev!" Now it's Kay's turn. "Why the HELL did you spend all that time body building? Huh? You some kind of stuck up arrogant bastard who thinks he's all that 'n a bag 'o chips?! All to be beaten by MAH MAN!" *does the Vash love and peace sign*
"Um...it was in the script?"
"HA! Do you realize that you have on a hideously ugly purple body suit that does not match and makes you look...icky?"
He shifts uncomfortably in his chair. "It doesn't make me look...icky."
"Oh yes it does."
"No it doesn't...it...it accentuates my nice physique...and it's nifty."
"Gah! Don't use words like 'nifty'! You're not allowed to do that ya old man!"
"Old?" he pouts. "I guess it's just pick-on-Monev day..."
"Oh please."
Aurus stands up next. "Who was it that chose what you wore...seriously...and, why didn't you shoot them?"
"Well, Knives suggested something tight but-"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Megan howls. "AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"
"...I made the final decision. What's wrong with her?"
"You don't wanna know..."
*blink* "Okay."
"Dude, what's with the body suit? Are you a walking advertisement for spandex?" A girl with long blonde hair, wearing a red bandanna, a badge that says "I SUPPORT THE SEKIHOUTAI", and Sagara Sanosuke's "bad" jacket, asks.
Megan stops screaming, stares at the audience member (RedBandanna), and starts screaming again. "SANOSUKKKEEEEE!! I LOVE HIM!!!!"
"Yes! Worship the Sano!"
Monev tries to carry on with the interview. "No, I in no way shape or form am trying to advertise spandex, and I have already explained the reason for wearing it. So, if you don't mind, may I have another question?"
The door of the Studio suddenly makes sliced up noises and blows apart. Mimic steps through, in all his shapeshiftingness glory.
Ashley glares. "You must really enjoy yourself..."
"Yup! I would like to ask Monev; why do you have so many weapons, gadgets and such?"
"Because they're nifty."
"Again! With the 'nifty'! No Monev, BAD!"
"Well!" Booms a voice. "He's no match for RRoan!" The crazy white guy from Kuroneko's interview runs onstage, pointing a variety of weapons at Monev. "Let us fight, you and I!"
"That was gay..."
"Haha!" He rushes with an ax, making the large Gung-Ho Gun jump onto the couch and act like there's a rodent on the floor.
"Keep him away from me! I don't wanna fight! I have a wife at home!"
He stops. The room becomes very quiet...well...except for the hosts' snickering.
"Oh, ew. You're married?"
"Yup," he grins. "She's a pretty thing. Name's Barney."
Megan doubles over in laughter.
Ashley stares. "As in...Barney is a dinosaur from your imagination, when he popped up all hell broke loose and that's how we got Satan?"
"Well...she is purple...and she does kinda resemble a dinosaur, but...don't say things like that about my sweetums!"
"AAAHAHHAHA, SWEETUMS!! HOW GROSS! AAAHAHAHHAAA!!!"
*insert snootiness* "Well..."
Ashley frowns, debating whether to laugh likewise or puke. "O-okay...is that it everyone?"
*cricket cricket*
"...then get the hell outta my Studio!!"
Everyone makes a mad dash for the exit and Monev folds his arms across his chest.
"And you," she points. "You...bulky..fairy thing. You gotta leave too."
"AAAHAHHA! You don't have to go home, but ya can't stay here. HAAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!"
"Tch." He stomps over to the side door. "I am OUTTA here."
"Riiiiight."
"Later!"
Joe wipes off the camera lens and shuts it off. "Ladies, ladies...are you even trying anymore?"
"Nope!"
"How should I know?"
He sighs, smiling a little. "You guys..."
~*~*~*~*~*UNTIL NEXT TIME *flicks off**~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Next up shall be...um...*ponder ponder*...oh! Rai-Dei the Blade! We haven't done him yet!
*boos*
I know, I hate him with a thousand burning fiery passions as well. He killed my E.G.! ...in the anime...but, it's all good! We should have some fun with him! *evil cackle* Ha, yes. Review, or don't. I really don't care at the moment. Review if you want to ask the ass a question. Review if you wanna compliment mah story. Review if you're bored. *shrug* Whatever. Farewell, my crazies!
Knives: Now apologize before they throw something at you.
The hell I will! *is beamed in the head by a table lamp*
Knives: Foolish girl...
@_@ Shut up.
Knives: Well now, since she's too stupid-
Hey!
Knives: ...stubborn...to say that one little word, I guess I'll have to do it.
NO! The S word is forbidden damnit!
Knives: ...fine. Then you can all go to hell.
That's mah boy.
Knives: ...freak. She thanks you all for reviewing and hopes you'll keep reading. If not...it's your loss. I really don't think she's interested in this story anymore...
No one asked you!
Knives: In any case, I know she'll finish it because she's a stupid spider...
I'll show you spider.
Knives: Down girl.
*mutter grumble* Here it is ladies and gents, enjoy.
~*~*~*~*~*Barney Lover*~*~*~*~*~
"My...poor little bum..." Megan rubs said body part and takes a seat on her chair. "On second thought," she gets back up, "I think I'll stand."
"You whore!" Ashley follows example. "Bloody hell, it feels like a stick crawled up my ass!"
"That it does." She winces as the Studio lights turn on. "Hey, wha? We don't have a show today."
"That damn car ride broke my ass!" Ashley growls. "We better not have a show today..."
"Um...sorry girls," Joe replies feebly from the back. "We had a misunderstanding in our schedules."
"But...my ass is sore!"
He quirks an eyebrow. "If we didn't have a show, why would you two be here anyway?"
"...because. We don't wanna go home. Ever."
"What she said."
"Alright, well the guests should be here any min-"
A swarm of people rush into the building and take their seats as the audience.
"...ute."
"Well now, thanks for the warning."
Joe scratches his head and Megan waddles her way over to the secret room, pressing her ear to the wall. "Are you guys alive in there?"
She hears a scuffle or two, and then silence.
"...are you huuungry?"
No answer.
She mutters profanities under her breath before fetching the remote and opening the doors. "Hellooo?"
"Now Millie!" A blur of white and purple slams into the small host, knocking her down. "Get the other one!"
"Sempaaaii..." The dim insurance girl bites her lip at the glaring host. "I think she's angry..."
"Millie!"
"Meryl," Megan calmly states, "Remove yourself from my person immediately or suffer the consequences."
"No way! You've had us in there long enough!"
She sighs. "I don't think so." She grabs her arm and twists it around her back, making her yelp in pain.
"Why you little shit--!"
She elbows her lightly in the mouth and flips her over, pinning her down with a knee on her neck. "Ugh..." She puts on a strange smile. "That really hurt my ass."
"Get off of me!" She flails.
"Nope."
"Megan...you have issues," her counterpart continues glaring at Millie.
"That's nice. Where's Monev?"
"Comiingg!" A sickeningly sweet voice calls from the side of the stage. Monev comes out (of the closet *cough*) in all his purple glory. "Hello muffins!"
Megan's lip twitches. "Muffins?"
He just smiles gaily.
Megan takes this time to sweatdrop and nod down at Meryl. "You wanna give me a hand?"
"Oh, sure!" He practically skips over to her and throws the disheveled insurance girl over his shoulder. "Where to?"
She narrows her eyes. The sing-song voice was startin' to get to her. "Over there," she points to the gaping space in the wall.
He strides over to it and dumps her in one of the dark corners. "Is that everything?"
"No...take her too." She gestures to a dumbfounded Millie.
"Alrighty then!" He swoops her up with ease and puts her in the room as well, clapping his hands daintily when he's finished. "All done!"
Megan pushes the red button with some difficulty. "Monev?"
"Yes, muffin?"
She shakes her head wistfully. "Exactly how flamboyant are you?"
"Hm?" He takes a seat on the couch, nearly crushing it, and crosses his legs. "How do you mean?"
"...that."
"What? Can't a bodybuilder enjoy the finer things in life?"
"Of course they can..." She mutters something unintelligible. "Let me re- phrase that. Are you giddy like a schoolgirl?"
"...I'm afraid I don't understand the question." He laces his fingers together and sets them on his knee.
She looks away. "Never mind, I got it."
Ashley looks back and forth between the two of them. "...questions anybody?"
Hands shoot up from the crowd, and a couple teens jump to their feet. "Who are you?!" Someone yells.
"That's WindGoddessRind, by the way..."
"Um...I am, Monev the Gale."
"Really?" She asks sarcastically.
"Yep. First Gung-Ho Gun, striking fear into the hearts of millions, blah blah blah..."
The hosts raise their eyebrows.
"But, enough of all that gruesome stuff! I like painting, riding horsies (imagine that -.-), making crafts, playing with kittens, dancing..." He continues listing off little girl hobbies, making Ashley stare in shock and Megan bash her head repeatedly into the arm of her chair. "...singing, jumping on trampolines, hop-scotch-"
"Basta!" Megan shouts, waving her arms.
Monev stops chattering and stares. "Pardon?"
Ashley sighs and grabs her friend's flailing limbs. "She has random bouts of Spanish. ...it means 'enough'."
*shifty eyes* "Okaay..."
"Heh," she smiles weakly and turns back to the audience. "Anyone else?"
A tall girl with a familiar Saiyan tail stands up. "I'd like to know why you thought that spandex, let alone purple spandex, would scare the hell outta anyone in any way other than making them vomit in disgust."
"Heh. That's Raditz."
"Yes," she nods. "Men should be prohibited from Spandex."
"Well, uh...it grants me a wide range of motion...doesn't restrict me...and, uh..."
By this point the hosts are laughing their asses off.
"What?"
"N-nothing," Megan sputters. "Nothing at all."
He gives her a look before informing everyone that purple was the only color they had in stock. And it's pretty...'n stuff...
"Ahem, yes, right. More questions?"
"Hello Monev!" Saro Wolf shouts. "Isn't your middle name Hurricane? I read that in the manga...you're very weird... isn't that big gun heavy?"
He blinks a few times. "...my gun?"
"Yes, your gun."
"No, not really. Not when you're..." *strikes pose* "The Hurricane!"
*widespread face-plant*
"So is that a yes?"
"I added it on for shits and giggles."
Megan brushes her pants off. "Did you just use the phrase 'shits and giggles'?"
"Yep." *grin*
"...ew."
"Hey, Monev!" Now it's Kay's turn. "Why the HELL did you spend all that time body building? Huh? You some kind of stuck up arrogant bastard who thinks he's all that 'n a bag 'o chips?! All to be beaten by MAH MAN!" *does the Vash love and peace sign*
"Um...it was in the script?"
"HA! Do you realize that you have on a hideously ugly purple body suit that does not match and makes you look...icky?"
He shifts uncomfortably in his chair. "It doesn't make me look...icky."
"Oh yes it does."
"No it doesn't...it...it accentuates my nice physique...and it's nifty."
"Gah! Don't use words like 'nifty'! You're not allowed to do that ya old man!"
"Old?" he pouts. "I guess it's just pick-on-Monev day..."
"Oh please."
Aurus stands up next. "Who was it that chose what you wore...seriously...and, why didn't you shoot them?"
"Well, Knives suggested something tight but-"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Megan howls. "AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"
"...I made the final decision. What's wrong with her?"
"You don't wanna know..."
*blink* "Okay."
"Dude, what's with the body suit? Are you a walking advertisement for spandex?" A girl with long blonde hair, wearing a red bandanna, a badge that says "I SUPPORT THE SEKIHOUTAI", and Sagara Sanosuke's "bad" jacket, asks.
Megan stops screaming, stares at the audience member (RedBandanna), and starts screaming again. "SANOSUKKKEEEEE!! I LOVE HIM!!!!"
"Yes! Worship the Sano!"
Monev tries to carry on with the interview. "No, I in no way shape or form am trying to advertise spandex, and I have already explained the reason for wearing it. So, if you don't mind, may I have another question?"
The door of the Studio suddenly makes sliced up noises and blows apart. Mimic steps through, in all his shapeshiftingness glory.
Ashley glares. "You must really enjoy yourself..."
"Yup! I would like to ask Monev; why do you have so many weapons, gadgets and such?"
"Because they're nifty."
"Again! With the 'nifty'! No Monev, BAD!"
"Well!" Booms a voice. "He's no match for RRoan!" The crazy white guy from Kuroneko's interview runs onstage, pointing a variety of weapons at Monev. "Let us fight, you and I!"
"That was gay..."
"Haha!" He rushes with an ax, making the large Gung-Ho Gun jump onto the couch and act like there's a rodent on the floor.
"Keep him away from me! I don't wanna fight! I have a wife at home!"
He stops. The room becomes very quiet...well...except for the hosts' snickering.
"Oh, ew. You're married?"
"Yup," he grins. "She's a pretty thing. Name's Barney."
Megan doubles over in laughter.
Ashley stares. "As in...Barney is a dinosaur from your imagination, when he popped up all hell broke loose and that's how we got Satan?"
"Well...she is purple...and she does kinda resemble a dinosaur, but...don't say things like that about my sweetums!"
"AAAHAHHAHA, SWEETUMS!! HOW GROSS! AAAHAHAHHAAA!!!"
*insert snootiness* "Well..."
Ashley frowns, debating whether to laugh likewise or puke. "O-okay...is that it everyone?"
*cricket cricket*
"...then get the hell outta my Studio!!"
Everyone makes a mad dash for the exit and Monev folds his arms across his chest.
"And you," she points. "You...bulky..fairy thing. You gotta leave too."
"AAAHAHHA! You don't have to go home, but ya can't stay here. HAAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!"
"Tch." He stomps over to the side door. "I am OUTTA here."
"Riiiiight."
"Later!"
Joe wipes off the camera lens and shuts it off. "Ladies, ladies...are you even trying anymore?"
"Nope!"
"How should I know?"
He sighs, smiling a little. "You guys..."
~*~*~*~*~*UNTIL NEXT TIME *flicks off**~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Next up shall be...um...*ponder ponder*...oh! Rai-Dei the Blade! We haven't done him yet!
*boos*
I know, I hate him with a thousand burning fiery passions as well. He killed my E.G.! ...in the anime...but, it's all good! We should have some fun with him! *evil cackle* Ha, yes. Review, or don't. I really don't care at the moment. Review if you want to ask the ass a question. Review if you wanna compliment mah story. Review if you're bored. *shrug* Whatever. Farewell, my crazies!