Chapter 11 The Road Taken
"The road to perdition is paved with gold.
Straight, wide and easily traveled and many take it.
The road to heaven is hard to travel, filled with many rocks,
narrow, winding, twisting and difficult to travel.
At 10 a.m. everyone but Angel and Cordelia were downstairs having a late breakfast. The previous day had been pretty exhausting and everyone had slept late. Dr. Martin was the last one to come downstairs. Everyone had made their own breakfast so the kitchen was kind of loaded with all kinds of different food items. She was still kind of tired so she just made herself a couple of fried eggs and toast with a large cup of coffee. Dr. Martin was just sitting down when they heard Angel screaming in pain again. Several people started to get up to go upstairs.
"Sit down everyone, Cordelia is up there with Angel. He's most likely dreaming again. If it's anything else she'll call us."
Upstairs in Angel's room Cordelia had been in the bathroom and had just gotten out of the shower when she heard him screaming. She ran out of the bathroom without even putting anything on but the towel she had wrapped around her body.
"Angel, wake up, it's only a dream." Cordelia shouted as she shook his shoulders. Angel opened his eyes and looked around. He was breathing hard and perspiring heavily. She felt his forehead and found it to be warm. She took his temperature as Dr. Martin had instructed. It was 99 degrees which was high for Angel since he was normally cold to the touch.
"Angel you're a little warm. At least warm for a normal human. How do you feel? Are you in pain?" Cordelia asked as she pulled down the covers and checked his chest for any of the wounds to see if they were still their or if they had healed. Almost all of the lacerations had healed over but they did appear to still be red which meant that his healing was still going very slowly.
"Cordy I was dreaming that I was being nailed to the cross again. I could feel each strike of the hammer against my hand. Over and over again they hit the spike until the head of the spike almost crushed what was left of the bones. Then they went for my feet. When they drove the spike through both of them and hit the wood that's when I woke up." Angel put his arm over his face to hide his tears. After a few minutes he was able to get himself under control.
"Cordy I was dreaming a lot last night. I dreamt that you had left my side for a few minutes and the gang of vampires grabbed me and were nailing me to the cross again. Then when you came back to me I was crying and telling you not to leave me again. It was so real I could feel the spikes going through my hands and feet."
Angel's eyes were starting to tear up. Cordelia sat by his side and whipped the tears away with a kleenex.
"Most of it was a dream Angel, but when you asked me never to leave you again, that was real. When you were screaming in pain in your dream I came running in. You opened your eyes and hugged me and asked me never to leave your side then you cried yourself to sleep again."
"I suppose everyone else was in here as well."
"Yes, you've scared everyone with your dreams."
"Their lucky that's all they had to put up with. The real thing was no picnic."
They heard a knock at the door. "Come in." Cordelia yelled.
The door opened and Dr. Martin and Wesley walked in.
"How are we doing this morning?" Dr. Martin asked.
"We are just fine. That is except for these holes in my hands, feet and side. Thank you for asking."
"My, my we are a little testy this morning. But then you went through hell yesterday so I guess I'll let it pass this time." Dr. Martin said while she came over to his bed to check on him.
"I'm sorry Dr. Martin. Like you said I went through hell yesterday so I have a good excuse."
"Okay Angel apology excepted. Let me check your wounds and see how their healing. Cordelia while I'm checking Angel I think it would be a good idea for you to go and get something on before your towel slips and Wesley gets a treat." Cordelia grabbed her towel and ran to the bathroom after grabbing some clothes.
Dr. Martin took his right arm and started to undo the bandages on his hand. There was some blood on the surface of the bandages but it looked old. As she carefully pulled off the last layer she was surprised to see a thin layer of skin had already grown over the palm and surface of his hand. She checked his feet as well and found that they also showed significant improvement.
"How are you feeling Angel? Any pain?" Dr. Martin asked.
"Right now it's more uncomfortable rather then being painful."
"Have you tried to get up and walk?" "No he just woke up." Cordelia answered for Angel as she came back into the room from the bathroom.
"Do you want to try?" Dr. Martin asked Angel. "Yes." he answered.
"Okay get up slowly Angel and lean on Wesley."
"Uh, can you give me a minute first. Uh, Im not exactly dressed." Angel said.
"Angel, I'm your Doctor, I saw you in your birthday suit when Spike and I gave you a bath to clean you up yesterday."
"Yeah, but I was unconscious." Angel said as he actually turned red from embarrassment.
Dr. Martin noticed this. Normally Angel didn't have any change to his skin coloring whenever he had any emotions such as anger or embarrassment.
"Okay Angel. Do you need help putting something on him Cordelia? I am sure Angel wouldn't mind if Wesley stayed?"
"No, I think I can manage."
"I don't want you putting your feet on the floor until we come back in Angel. Call me when your ready." Dr. Martin and Wesley went back out to the hallway and waited for Cordelia to call them when she was done.
"Would you call Spike up here Wesley. I think Angel will need help, he just doesn't know it yet." "Why, do you think he won't be able to walk yet?" "No I don't think he'll be able to, but you know Angel if he starts feeling better he'll try to walk when no one is around. So I would rather that it happen when I'm right there to take care of him because I believe he will go down." Wesley just smiled and went downstairs to get Spike.
Spike and Wesley came upstairs just as Cordelia called for them to come in. Dr. Martin went in first. Cordelia had put some sweat pants on Angel and no shirt.
"Wesley and Spike, would you help Angel get up. Angel I want you to lean on them. Let them more or less carry you." Dr. Martin said.
Spike and Wesley went to Angel and carefully put his feet down.
"Be careful of the wound in his side. "Cordelia said.
"Don't grab us with your hands Angel, let us lift you. On three. One, two, three lift." Spike ordered Wesley and Angel.
Spike and Wesley lifted Angel at the same time. As instructed Angel leaned on them heavily. After a few seconds he felt more sure of himself and pushed Spike and Wesley away. He tried taking a few steps and immediately fell forward. Unfortunately he landed on his right side with his arm under him. Instead of protecting his wound it pushed his ribs into the still fresh wound in his lung. He also reopened the wounds in his feet and hands.
" Okay let's put him back to bed." Spike and Wesley turned Angel over. When they did they saw what his body was hiding. The wound in his side was bleeding so fast that it left a wide pool of blood on the carpet. Turning him over also started him coughing which brought up blood that had been going into his lung.
"Spike lets go and get bandages, blood and all the other equipment to give him a transfusion. I'm going to get some surgical equipment so I can repair the wound in his side again. Cordelia hold a towel against his side as hard as you can without pushing him." With that said she ran after Spike to get everything they needed. They were back in only 10 minutes. Dr. Martin started to check Angels hands and feet again. His hands were ok. Only a small amount of blood was on the skin. New skin had already replaced what had torn. His feet was another matter. More specifically one foot wasn't looking to good. It was the one they had smashed while putting the spike through his feet. Dr. Martin looked at Angel. He was awake now and watching her. Cordelia said he had passed out for awhile after coughing up a lot of blood. She showed her the towel she had given Angel to use. It was covered in blood.
"Angel can you tell me how your foot feels? Is it giving you any pain?" Dr. Martin asked.
"It was hurting a lot before you came in but I can feel it healing."
"Tell me if this hurts." She proceeded to rotate his foot a little. When he didn't show any discomfort she rotated it more. When she did that he quickly grabbed her hand. He started breathing hard because of the sudden onset of the pain.
"Angel release my wrist your hurting me." Angel released her hand immediately. She could see that she had caused him a lot of pain. He actually had tears from the pain.
"I'm sorry Angel I can see I caused you a lot of pain, but I needed to do that so that I could see if the bones had come out of place again. Later today I am going to try it again. If your able to rotate your foot normally then we won't do anything more with it, but if you can't then we will have to open it again to reset the bones. I want you to lay down again so that I can listen to your lung." Angel was still breathing hard from the pain in his foot so she could listen for any blood in his lungs. "Cordelia bring a towel please." Dr. Martin had put her stethoscope on and put it to his right lung. When Angel took in his next breath nothing happened but she knew he hadn't taken in enough oxygen to fill all of his lung. She pressed on his left foot. The unexpected pain would make him take in more air. She got the reaction that she needed and Angel immediately started coughing up blood. Cordelia came over and put the towel to his mouth. He couldn't stop coughing and every time he coughed he brought up a lot of blood. Dr. Martin could hear a lot of liquid in his lung. It was also getting into his left lung. Every time he brought up blood some would go back down into the left lung.
"Spike, lets give him something to make him sleep for an hour or two." "What do you want me to get?" "Have you been keeping up on all of the drugs that are available to us now?" "Yes."
"Then go ahead and make your choice of what we have downstairs and bring the bottle and syringe up with you, but make it fast." Spike ran downstairs and was back in 5 minutes. He showed her the bottle. She said "okay just go ahead and draw the amount you think it should be and let me know." Spike was in seventh heaven. When he was done he showed her and she gave a nod okay. Thirty minutes later Angel still wasn't asleep. She couldn't figure out why.
"Wesley do you think Willow might have something that could make him sleep?"
"She might, I'll go and talk to her."
Wesley went downstairs looking for Willow. He found her sitting at the dining room table with the rest.
"How is Angel Wesley?" Buffy asked.
"When he tried to walk he fell down and reopened the wound in his side. He's bleeding quite a bit and Dr. Martin has to repair the damage again but she can't make Angel sleep for some reason. Willow she wants to know if you have something that can make him sleep for a few hours?"
"Yes I think I do. I'll meet you in Angel's room in a few minutes." Willow said. She looked at Buffy and said "Angel needs me again." She had the biggest grin on her face as she left. It always made Willow very happy any time she could help someone with her magic. Willow headed for Angel's room as soon as she left her's. When she arrived in Angels room she saw him sitting up with blood all over his sheets. He looked straight at her but didn't seem to recognize her. She went over to Dr. Martin.
"Dr. Martin I have something that should put him to sleep for at least an hour perhaps 2."
"Do you know if there are any side affects to it?" Dr. Martin asked.
"No I used it before and nothing happened."
"Okay go ahead and let's see what happens."
Willow took the powder out of it's package and put a small amount in her palm. She said a few words and gently blew the powder in Angels face. Angel immediately went to sleep.
"Thank you Willow that was pretty good. Does it put him in a deep sleep where no matter what happens he won't wake up?" Dr. Martin asked Willow.
"Yes, you can do what ever you want and he won't wake up."
"Good, thank you Willow. I'll let everyone know how he is as soon as I can. Thank you again."
Dr. Martin put her gloves on and sliced Angel's side open again. Their wasn't very much bleeding now since his heart had slowed down again. She had made a large incision so she could locate the rib that was causing him to bleed into his lung. When she found it she could see that it was just a small piece of bone that had split off and was piercing the lung. She removed it from the lung and it almost melted back into the rib. She went ahead and repaired the hole in his lung with just one line and threaded it in such a way that she could release all sutures by cutting only one line and pulling it through from the outside. She watched each layer repair itself as soon as the two sides met. After a surprisingly short time she was finished. All of his hands and feet had also been taken cared of also. Dr. Martin had been on her knees for a long time so Spike came over and helped her up. "I thought you were used to long periods of time on your knees." "Not that long. Thanks for helping me up. I'm usually not on them for more then 15 minutes at a time. Cordelia would you get some clean bedding. While he is out we can change his sheets. Wesley you can go I'm going to show them how to change the sheets while Angel is still in the bed. Then I am going to go and clean up. I'll see you later downstairs. Thanks for all your help Wesley."
After showing Spike and Cordelia how to change a bed while the patient was still in it she went to her room and cleaned up. Before leaving her room she picked up her Bible and then went back to check on Angel. Cordelia was just finishing with cleaning all of the blood off of Angel as Dr. Martin came through the door.
"Cordelia why don't you go and get something to eat and then some rest. I'll stay with Angel for awhile." "Okay I can do with a break. I'm so hungry I could eat a horse. I'll see you in an hour."
"Take your time Cordelia I have plenty to keep me busy." She held up her rosary and Bible.
Dr. Martin pulled up a chair next to the bed and put her Bible down on the night stand and proceeded to say the Rosary. Thirty minutes later she noticed Angel was starting to get restless.
He was making more noise as thought he was talking to someone. She couldn't understand anything he said though. He was dreaming they were nailing him to the cross again. Angels left arm went out again but this time instead of it ending in Angel waking up screaming it ended with Dr. Martin singing an Irish Lullaby. She started off slowly and lost so that she could enter his dreams quietly and without him noticing it. Within the next few minutes he quieted down and went into a deep natural sleep. Dr. Martin didn't notice that she had an audience. It was Cordelia.
"That's a pretty good trick. I'll have to remember that. He dreams a lot and sometimes I find myself having to jump out of bed just for self preservation."
"Really! What are the dreams usually about? Does he tell you about them?"
Cordelia and Dr. Martin went to sit on the balcony. By now the sun was on the other side of the hotel so they left the french doors open so they could listen for Angel. The drapes were still closed and their wasn't any wind to blow them open.
Dr. Martin and Cordelia just sat in silence for awhile. They were enjoying the quiet and the view. Then Cordelia asked "how did you learn that little trick of changing the direction of a persons dreams?"
Dr. Martin smiled. "When I was a teenager I had a Doberman. I used to watch her sleeping and she would start twitching in her sleep. I presumed that she was dreaming. While I was watching her she started jerking more violently. She was moving in such a way that she seemed to be running in her sleep. It just came to me to get into her dreams by calling to her as though I was far away. As I called to her she would start to calm down and return to a peaceful sleep. When I went into psychiatry I tried it on patients and I found it had the same affect."
They sat in silence for awhile just watching the traffic go by. Then Dr. Martin broke the silence. "You'll have to learn those songs so you can sing it to your babies. After all they'll be half Irish."
"Do you really think well get their Dr. Martin? It seems like a wish instead of a reality."
"If your afraid of Angel dying before you can have those babies you can always have his sperm frozen."
"The problem with that is money." Cordelia had a smile on her face at first then she thought about the large amount of money it would take to store the sperm.
"Cordelia, Angel has his own Swiss bank account. Didn't you know that? Ask Wesley he knows Angel has money."
Angel was calling for Cordelia so they both got up. When they did Cordelia told Dr. Martin, "this has been a very enlightening conversation Dr. Martin, thank you."
When they went in Angel was just getting ready to call her name again.
"I'm right here Angel."
"Oh, I didn't know you were their." Cordelia sat on the side of the bed. "Angel I want you to look at me and tell me if you were listening to our conversation."
Angel looked at her with the most innocent look he could give.
"I just woke up Cordelia, I didn't know you were on the balcony."
"Angel look into my eyes not at the wall behind me. Now tell me the truth."
"Okay, okay, yes I heard you. Wesley knows I have a lot of money but he doesn't know where or how much. I offered money once but he said he would rather that we have the agency pay for everything."
Cordy was quiet for a moment. "Will you tell me everything about it after we're married?"
"No Cordy I can't." Angel saw her starting to get mad. He tried pushing himself back against the headboard in a sitting position but it was causing him to much pain. Cordelia and Dr. Martin had to help him. When they were sure he was comfortable they sat down again.
"Dr. Martin would you call Wesley for me." Angel asked.
"Yes, I'll be right back." In a few minutes she was back with Wesley.
"Come in Wesley and pull up a chair. I wanted you to hear what I have to say. You are already aware of some of what I am going to tell Cordy. It's true Cordy, I do have a lot of money. It's true that it's in a Swiss bank account and it's in the millions. Exactly how much it is I don't know. I have several lawyer firms that I have dealt with for almost as long as I've been a vampire. Angelus liked toying with the rich. Each time he killed someone he took their money. Angelus and Darla took what they wanted or needed. So their was almost no expenses to speak of. When I was given my soul back that influx of money stopped but it continued to grow because of the interest. My mind was to busy with feelings of guilt in those days to dip into that money. I didn't use any of it until I agreed to work with the PTB and fight for my redemption. Remember the clothes I wore when I was first helping Buffy and the mansion that I owned in Sunnydale. That all came from those accounts. Cordelia if I told anyone of where and how to get to those accounts lives would be in danger. Your life could be in danger. Our future children's lives could be in danger. Do you understand Cordy? I will always provide for you and our children and this agency. But if we showed to much wealth humans would begin to wonder where it came from. We don't have anything to fear from other vampires because like the Italian mafia we don't mess with each others money or each others families because of money. I will set everything up in such a way that you won't ever have to be afraid of how you are going to live if I should die."
Cordelia had the look of a child that had just been scolded for wanting something that she was told she couldn't have.
"Im sorry Angel I should have known you were only doing what was right. Do you forgive me?"
He smiled and grabbed her. "You know I do. Now go over to the cookie jar on top of the refrigerator and bring it over here please."
She did as she was told and brought the cookie jar back to Angel. It was an old Aunt Jamima cookie jar that would be worth a lot of money as a collectors item except this jar twisted at the top of the apron. Inside was a thousand dollars. Angel took it out and gave it to Cordelia.
"I want all of you girls to go out and have fun."
Cordy squealed like a teenager. She hugged him then went running out of the room. Wesley was laughing so hard he was crying.
"What's so funny?" Angel asked.
"Cordelia, she's so predictable."
"Dr. Martin is their a way that I could give you information in an envelope and your order could hold onto this envelope and open it only upon my death?"
"Yes, I think we could but I would have to talk to our Mother General about this first." Dr. Martin said. "I understand." Angel said.
"Wesley I wanted you to hear this because I am going to trust you with the care of my families finances in case of my death. You and I both know that no matter how much you and Cordy argue she trusts you implicitly. In fact she is the one that made me understand that you were only trying to protect Connor and I when you took him from me."
Wesley's head was down. He always felt bad whenever anything about this dark time for them was mentioned.
"Thank you Angel for having so much faith in me."
Dr. Martin got up to warm up a glass of blood for Angel or O Pos as Cordelia calls it.
"I think that's enough for now Angel. Drink this then well leave and I want you to get some sleep. I'm going to turn the television on for you. You are to leave it on even when you start to fall asleep. The sound of the TV will help to prevent you from having bad dreams."
"Why would the TV prevent the nightmares?" Wesley asked.
"Have you ever gone to sleep watching a favorite show and the next day you find that you've dreamed about the characters on the show or movie?"
"Yes, I fell asleep once watching Bay Watch one night and the next day I remembered dreaming about it." Wesley said.
"Television or a movie are excellent help for a person that's having nightmares because our minds pickup on this external feed and circumvents the nightmares in our mind and will usually push the nightmares to the back."
Dr. Martin watched Angel as he drank all of the blood. Then she took the glass from him and cleaned it and put the glass away in the cabinet. She went back to Angel and asked him "do you want to lye down now?"
"Yes, I think I can sleep some more."
Dr. Martin took one of the towels from the bathroom and placed it under Angel so that he could be lifted by 2 people.
"Wesley would you help me please?"
Wesley came to the bed and Dr. Martin pointed to the other side of the bed.
"Angel I don't want you to put any pressure on your hands or feet. Let us move you. Okay Wesley on the count of three well grab the ends of the towel and move him down on the bed so he can lay down flat."
"Okay." Wesley answered.
"Lets go, 1,2,3." Dr. Martin said as they both grabbed the ends of the towel and lifted Angel so that he was down further on the bed. Dr. Martin removed one of the pillows they had used to prop him up in order to make him more comfortable.
"Thank you Wesley for your help. Angel don't get out of bed. Don't put any pressure at all on your feet or hands. I want you to have complete bed rest for at least 2 days." After hearing that from Dr. Martin, Angel said "2 days?"
"Yes two days, and don't even try anything because I have another Vampire in the hotel that can hear you if you try to get out of bed. Do you understand Angel?"
"Yes mother I promise to be good and stay in bed."
Dr. Martin turned the TV on. She came back to the bed and straightened Angels blanket and gave him a kiss on his forehead.
"Goodnight Angel."
"Goodnight mother. Mother can Cordy sleep with me tonight?"
"Yes Angel. I'll send her up when she gets back." She gave him a light slap on his face.
"Wise guy."
As Dr. Martin and Wesley left the room and reached the stairs Wesley turned to Dr. Martin.
"I noticed how you were treating him like he was your own son. He was having fun just taking as much as you could give." Wesley and Dr. Martin were both laughing. They sat down on the stairs and talked for awhile.
"Wesley no matter how old we get we never forget how safe we felt when our mothers held us in her arms and rocked us whenever we needed it. I think that is why we all instinctively rock a person when we hold them in our arms to comfort them.
You men are all about the same age I believe. Angel was in his early 20s when he was turned so your all about the same. When I was still in college I met my husband and I got pregnant right away. About 4 years after my son was born my husband was coming back from the baby sitters with our son. A drunk driver slammed into the side of their car as they were going through an intersection. He had a big truck and our car was small. Neither my husband or my son survived. They died instantly. My son would have been about the age that Angel looks now. When I get to tuck him in like I did just now I think of my son. A couple of nights ago I sung an Iris lullaby to Angel to help him sleep. He said it was what his mother used to do for him when he was little. When I went to bed that night I cried myself to sleep thinking about my baby. Angel, for awhile, is taking the place of the son that I lost.
When Cordelia came up it was 10 o'clock at night. Angel was sleeping when she came in. She quietly went into the bathroom and took a shower. When she came out he was awake.
"Hi, how are you doing?" she asked him.
"Okay, resting as ordered. Can you get me some of your special O Pos drink?"
"Sure no problem." Cordelia said as she went to the little refrigerator in the room and took out a bag of blood and some water for her. After warming the blood up with some chili powder in it she came back to Angel and put it on the bed stand.
"Your going to have to sit up to drink this. Now don't do anything yourself. Let me do everything." Cordelia raised him up into a sitting position than swung his legs over so that he could sit on the side of the bed. She gave him his drink and she took her water and sat next to him.
"How we doing?" She asked him.
"Im good. Thank you. Did you girls have fun tonight?
"Yes we sure did. We went to Caritas. Had a few drinks sang some stupid songs on stage. Then slunk away in embarrassment. After that we had coffee. All I could think of after that was getting back to you. I was already missing you. Were not married yet but I feel like an old married woman already. I feel like Im just not complete until I have you in my sights again." She gave Angel a kiss.
"Would you do something else for me Cordy?"
"Sure Angel what would you like?"
"See the Bible on the Stand? Dr. Martin left it here. She marked certain pages. Would you read it to me? Then read the papers she left under it."
Cordelia opened the Bible and she started to read the section that Dr. Martin had marked down.
She had marked down the chapters of John Chapters 18 thru 19. Cordelia read of Jesus arrest and Crucifixion. She could see that at least one of the vampires that had tortured and crucified Angel had read the Bible, because what they did to Angel was very similar. When she was done she picked up the American Medical Association Journal that had an article on the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ. The article gave the medical explanation as to how Jesus had suffered and what were the ramification of the torture He suffered and also explained exactly how He had suffered from the nails being hammered into His hands and feet. It also explained why water came out of His side when the Roman soldiers pierced it with a spear.
Angel listened without saying anything. He didn't move, he didn't show any emotion, he didn't say anything. After a few minutes of silence he finally said something.
"Cordy would you help him to lay down now?"
"Sure Angel." Cordelia got up and lifted his legs up and onto the bed.
"Lets take your shirt and pants off Angel, you've been in them all day."
Angel didn't say anything he just let her take his shirt and pants off. She covered him in a sheet and blanket. When she turned off the lights and went to turn the television off he told her to leave it on. Cordy took off her robe and crawled into bed with him.
"Are you okay Angel?" Angel turned to her and kissed her. He put his arms around her and pulled her to his chest. He felt her against him and smelled the scent of her hair. It was soft to the touch and smelled so fresh and clean.
"He didn't have anyone while He was hanging from the cross for over 3 hours. I was only nailed to that cross for an hour or so. Cordy I've never been in so much pain before. I've never broke down before. I mean I have never been tortured or hurt so bad that I finally gave up and wanted to die, but they broke me yesterday morning Cordy. When they nailed me to that cross I broke, and I wanted to die. He went through all of that torture and suffering for us Cordy. The pain and suffering that I go through is all for me. I'm self centered and self serving. Everything I do I do for me. Jesus went through all of that suffering for us. For all of the people that were yet to be born."
"In the morning Cordy I want you to go and tell Dr. Martin I got the message and Im ready to talk to her friend."
Cordelia raised herself onto her elbow and kissed him. She put her arm around his neck and he laid his head on her breasts and went to sleep. Cordelia felt protective of him. She didn't want him to suffer anymore. She thought of how the Blessed Mother must have felt as she cradled the body of her son in her arms, but unlike Cordelia, Jesus's mother held her Sons lifeless body in her arms.
That night Angel started to dream his nightmare again but it ended before it went to far. The movie on the television pushed the crucifix and spikes to the side in his mind and replaced it with people in the movie just like Dr. Martin said it would do.
In the morning when Cordelia woke up she went to her room and got dressed. When she came out she saw Dr. Martin just passing her door.
"Dr. Martin, good morning."
"Good morning Cordelia, how did you two sleep last night?"
"I think we both got a good nights rest." They walked together downstairs. No one else was up yet so they were able to have some coffee together and talk.
"How did Angel sleep last night?" Dr. Martin asked.
"Pretty good. He became active for a few minutes, but he calmed down after awhile. He didn't have any nightmares this time."
"That's good. It's amazing how the television can have such an influence on our unconscious mind."
"Dr. Martin. Last night Angel asked me to read the passages in the Bible that you had marked. Then he asked me to read the AMA article on the crucifixion of Jesus. When I was finished he said how Jesus suffered so much for everyone and for those of us that hadn't even been born yet. He also said that every thing he does he does for himself, which I guess he means he fights and suffers for his redemption. Angel wanted me to tell you that he got the message and would like to speak to your friend. He said you would understand."
"Yes I know exactly what he means." Dr. Martin bowed her head and made a silent prayer of thanks. When she raised her head and looked at Cordelia she had tears pouring down her face and yet she was smiling. "Were almost there Cordelia, were almost there." She hugged Cordelia then picked up her cup of coffee and went into Angels office as she wiped the tears from her face and blew her nose. She was still smiling when she went into his office and closed the door.
Dr. Martin pulled a slip of paper out of her pocket and opened it. It had Father Barris's number on it. The number was a direct line to Father Barris's office. The phone rang several times before he picked it up. "All Souls Catholic Church, Father Barris speaking."
"Hello Fr. Barris this is Sister Martin." "Oh hello, how is everything going?"
"Very good Father. Angel is ready to see you now."
"When do you want me to come over or can he come here?"
"I think he would be more comfortable here in his own environment. Is tomorrow at 3 p.m. okay?"
"Yes that will be fine. Did you want to have mass celebrated their right after?"
"Let me get back with you on that. I need to talk to Angel today. I'll call you this evening and let you know if well come to the church or if you have to bring everything with you. Good by and thank you."
Dr. Martin hung up and took her coffee cup and went back into the kitchen where Cordelia was cooking breakfast for everyone. She had the large coffee maker already going and was mixing a large batch of pancake mix and bacon in the microwave. She had several layers of bacon and paper towels all ready to be started as soon as everyone started coming downstairs.
Buffy, Willow and Fred were the first to come down. The men came down a few minutes later.
"Good morning everyone."
No matter how many times Buffy and Willow saw it, it was always a bit of a shock seeing Cordelia being domestic.
"Good morning, can we help?" Buffy asked.
"Yes you sure can. Do you know if the men are coming down pretty soon?" Just as Cordelia asked, the men started coming down.
"Oh good, everyone's down. Well someone can start the pancakes on the big grill. It's big enough to take about 10 pancakes at a time. The bacon is already in the microwave all you have to do is start it. Someone can set the table. Fred would you help them find everything? Im going to see if Angel can come down."
After everyone was starting their chosen task Cordelia went upstairs.
"Dr. Martin do you think Angel could join us?" Cordelia asked when she saw her in the hallway.
"Lets check him to see how he's healing first." Dr. Martin said as she joined Cordelia. Dr. Martin turned around and yelled downstairs for Spike to join her.
Spike was beside them in just a few seconds. Dr. Martin just looked at him. "That would come in mighty handy if I could do that sometimes."
They continued walking into Angels room. "I could make that possible if you want." Spike said with a wicked grin on his face.
Angel was awake when they came in. "I heard that Spike, don't even joke about it. Understand?"
"Okay, okay don't pop a stitch. I am sure she knows I was only kidding her."
If looks could kill Spike would be dust right now. Dr. Martin had never seen Angel so mad before.
"So you want to come downstairs with the rest?" Dr. Martin asked.
"Yes, I'm not having anywhere near as much pain as I was last night. I didn't say anything to Cordy but I guess she noticed I was getting tired of being stuck in here for so long.
"Okay lets see." Dr. Martin pulled the cover down so she could see the wound in his side. She ran her fingers over the area where she had cut him open just yesterday. Their was no discoloration of the skin. It was as though it had never happened. She pressed the area a little harder and watched his reaction. Nothing. Either he was hiding it real well or else it really was healed all the way through.
"Cordelia is their cuticle scissors or fingernail clippers in here and some alcohol?"
"Yes their both in the bathroom." "Okay would you get them and wash them real good then pour the alcohol on them and bring them here. Thanks."
Dr. Martin got up and followed Cordelia in the bathroom. "Cordelia by any chance would their be a wheelchair here."
"Yes, Fred and I found one in the basement. I guess they kept it for residents. It's pretty old but it still works. Here's the scissors. I'll call Fred and tell her to have someone bring it upstairs."
Dr. Martin took the scissors and alcohol and Cordelia called downstairs to Fred.
"I'm going to take that one stitch out Angel." When Dr. Martin sat down and looked up at Angel she saw a small amount of blood on the sheet in front of him.
Spike saw her looking at the sheet. "He was coughing a little while you were talking to Cordelia."
"If you think about it Angel can you make yourself breath?" Angel looked at Spike. "I don't know I've never thought about actually doing it." "Well you think about it and I'll go and get my stethoscope."
"You can do it, don't you remember when Angelus smoked cigarettes.
"You used to smoke?" Dr. Martin was surprised to hear that. Especially since Angel was always telling Spike to take it outside.
"I didn't but Angelus did. I guess that's why I'm so much against it."
"I'm glad because cigarette smoke stinks. It stays on your clothes, in your car, in your house, cigarettes just stink." Cordelia said.
"Well why don't you figure out how to do it and I'll go to my room to get my stethoscope."
Cordelia was standing nearby and listening. "I have an idea how you can get your lungs to take in enough air to give Dr. Martin the affect that she wants." She tore a piece of paper off of a sheet and rolled it up small so that it looked like a cigarette.
"Here pretend your smoking a cigarette."
Angel took the rolled paper and put it to his mouth to try it. Dr. Martin was just coming back into the room.
"Hold it Angel, let me listen to your chest." Dr. Martin went and sat on the side of his bed. She put the stethoscope on and placed it on Angels chest.
"Okay try it now."
Angel put the pretend cigarette to his mouth and drew in air then blew it out. "Hey I did it." Angel said with a smile.
"Okay do it again, but try to take a deeper breath."
Angel did as instructed and was rewarded with a fit of coughing. When he finally stopped he laid back, he was exhausted. He had blood running down from the corner of his mouth and on the sheets. Cordy brought over a wash cloth to clean the blood off of his face, chest and arms.
"You okay now?" Dr. Martin asked Angel. "Yeah, it's times like this that makes me glad I don't have to breath all of the time."
"Alright then I don't hear any congestion in either lung so it could be that your bleeding again or it could be old blood in the lung that you were coughing up. If you are bleeding I don't think that it's very much. Just a little could cause an irritation to the lung though and that would cause the coughing. For now Angel I think it would be best to leave the stitch in and in a few hours I will remove it. I just want you to take it easy. Try not to get excited about anything while you are downstairs. I am going to have my eyes on you at all times. I will be able to better judge what is going on inside of you. I just have to play it by ear, so to speak, because your body just isn't acting like Spike tells me it should. Okay Angel?" "Okay Dr. Martin I promise to be good."
Just then Connor came in with a wheelchair. "Fred said you wanted this. Is Angel well enough to come downstairs?"
"Yes I think he can come downstairs. Spike and you can pick him up and put him in the chair. When they pick you up Angel don't put your right arm up. Just let it hang at your side. I don't want to take any chances with the source of that blood your coughing up."
Spike pulled Angels legs over and helped him put his sweat pants on. They had a little difficulty with the top since he couldn't put his right arm up. Dr. Martin was watching this little comedy of errors and laughing under her hand. This went on for five minutes before Cordelia finally felt sorry for Angel and went over to help him.
"Let me have it Spike. Pay attention so that when you have to dress your children you'll know how to do it."
She took the shirt and held it up with the front facing her. She then took the right sleeve and rolled it up and put Angels arm in it without raising the arm. She then told him to put his head down so she could put it over his head. The shirt was now being held in place by his neck and he could then put his arm through the left arm of the shirt without pulling on the right side. She straightened the shirt and stepped back.
"That guys is how you dress a 2 year old that doesn't want to co-operate or an adult male that can't raise his right arm." Cordelia said.
"Okay Uncle Connor, lets get big Daddy in his chair. You take his right side. Hold onto my arm when we pick him up. On the count of 3. 1...2....3." Working together they were able to put Angel into the wheel chair without causing him any pain.
"Thanks boys. I'll give you an extra tip in your pay envelopes this week." Angel said.
Spike pushed Angels chair out of the door and to the elevator. The rest went down by way of the stairs. When the elevator doors opened Spike pushed him to the dining room and to the head of the table which was his usual position. Cordelia went to the kitchen to warm up a pint of O Pos with cinnamon. When she came back to the table everyone had taken their seats and started in on their breakfast. Everyone concentrated on their breakfast for awhile and ate in silence. After about 15 minutes Angel cleared his throat loudly. Everyone stopped and looked at Angel. When he saw that he had everyone's attention he cleared his throat again.
"Uh, Cordelia and I want to thank everyone for all they've done for me. Without all of you I think Cordelia would have been sleeping next to a pile of dust. I cannot begin to tell you how much this means to me. I want to thank you all."
Since no one said anything Giles decided to speak up.
"Angel I think I speak for everyone here because we don't often get to say it. No thanks is needed. We are all an unusual group of people. We fight evil in the most unusual circumstances. I think Wesley will agree with me when I say this has been a very educational event. But we have discussed this matter between ourselves and we have decided that everything that has happened will be kept out of the Watchers Chronicles. We look upon ourselves as 2 branches of a larger family. The Slayers's family, which I can't for the life of me remember why or how it came about but they named our group the Scoobies." Everyone laughed at that. No one else could remember either.
"When you left Sunnydale to come to Los Angeles you created the Angel Investigation part of the family. When we need help, you drop everything, and come running. When you need help we come. If we were to loose either you or Buffy it would be a devastating blow to the family. We've all been through a lot over the past number of years. We've gained and lost lovers. We all seem to find strength in each other though so we continue to return to our family and to help support each other. As I said before Angel no thanks is needed. We are all family and we help each other because that's what family does."
Dr. Martin noticed Angels head started to droop a little. She got up from her chair and went over to his side. "Angel are you getting tired?"
"Yes, I'm getting tired now Spike could you take me back to my room please."
"Sure Angel." Spike took Angel back up to his room while Cordelia and Dr. Martin followed. Spike asked Conner to come and help him pick Angel up and put him to bed.
After they put him to bed Dr. Martin came over to the bed. "How are you doing Angel?" "I don't know why but I got so tired all of a sudden. I felt like it was all I could do to hold my head up."
"You just need time to rest Angel. Let your body recuperate. You need to rebuild your strength again. Only rest will do that for you. Today you did a little bit. You went downstairs and had breakfast. Tomorrow you will be able to do a lot more. Tomorrow though Fr. Barris will be coming so you will have to take short rest periods. I want you to rest for now though. Tonight you can get up again and move around a little."
"I don't understand though. Why is it taking me so long to recover." Angel said. He sounded scared.
"Angel, I believe this is happening to help you. How it is helping you I don't know, but Angel think about it. If you were able to get around easily again you may not have chosen the path that you are on now. Things happen to us that we don't understand at the time but later when things settle down and we can look back and examine every thing we can then see Gods wisdom in all of it. Go to sleep now Angel you have a lot to go through tomorrow. I'll see you later tonight."
Dr. Martin and the rest left. Cordelia stayed with Angel. She turned the TV on so that he wouldn't dream again. Then she went to lay down beside him and hold him in her arms again. Once again he laid his head on her breasts. Neither one said anything. He listened to the beat of her heart. The thought came to him that one day he would hear the beating heart of their child inside of her as it grew. Their baby would be warm and safe inside of her and he would be the one holding her and keeping her safe in his arms.
"It's hard being born again isn't it Angel?" Cordelia said. "Yes it is." Angel answered.
TBC............