Disclaimer: Much as I'd like to, I don't own Draco Malfoy, or any part of the magical world that J.K. Rowling has all the copyrights to ... please don't sue me. There are some parts of this story that are quotes from the book - it can't be helped - events are the same as in the book, but Draco's opinion of these events may vary from Harry's.
Author's Notes: To hell with it, I'm uploading this even though my beta's not got back to me yet. I had to feature them ... and giving them a chapter title seemed appropriate. Sorry for Pansy's perversity ... but you can't say it was uncalled for. And by the way, those of you who do review - I love long reviews ... they are my life blood and my doctor just said my blood count is low! I need blood! Mwahahahahahaaaa! ... ... ... sorry, hyper.
ANGEL: Oh, I am writing more, don't worry.
Princess of Darkness: Bunnies really are evil - that's why I wrote it here ... and they will be mentioned again, I'm sure. Can you name someone else who's spent a great deal of "time off" from being evil incarnate, in Albania? I enjoy making connections - it makes writing more fun, that way.
Devi: *grins* I couldn't resist the Crouch/Weatherby line - it was begging to be used again. I love Luna - why, exactly do you hate her?
Druscilla Black: Thanks.
duochang97: I agree with Anya, completely. She is one of my favourite characters in BtVS (after Spike, of course). Well, Ron did say "They'll be announcing their engagement any day now" ... it's all Ron's fault I added that to the Quibbler - what better place to put all the jokes and spoofs? As for your review for In Love With... yes, it was my *thinks* third fanfic ever, and the only thing I don't know what your talking about is how can you not find re-runs of DS9? I've seen all the series of it, three or four times!
Exodia Himself: *taps the side of her nose conspiratorially* I ain't saying who he saw die. Not yet, anyways.
Elizabeth: Yeah, it's fun to write, too.
Starre: I agree - I ain't saying yet. But chapter 10 isn't that far away - it's only five more chapters to wait.
angelkas: Theo is fourteen. And his parents didn't even know he slipped off into the Muggle city - he transfigured a piece of scrap parchment into a fake ID, and got the tattoo by himself.
Hrei-siesn: Thank you.
"You all know what you're getting yourselves into?" "He said Hell, right? ... Well, I'm going to end up there, sooner or later, so I might as well check out the neighbourhood." -Stargate SG1
Chapter 5 - Blast-Ended Skrewts
Once we got out of the carriages, and into the entrance hall, Peeves shrieked with glee, as he flew over us, "Ickle students came back for more!" and threw a water-balloon at the first student who entered the hall - a Ravenclaw, who I couldn't have named if I'd tried. It didn't make much difference considering he was already soaked.
"Oi, Peeves!" I shouted, "I hear some Gryffindors used charms to keep the rain off them!"
Peeves grinned at me, "Thanks for the tip-off." he cackled, and zoomed over to the group of unwary Gryffindors who had come in seconds after I said that, and threw a water-balloon at the nearest Weasley. I sniggered, and bolted into the Great Hall, before anyone noticed I'd done that.
Taking my usual seat, Theo sat down next to me, "That was a good one, Draco ... got the Weasley-sidekick right in the face."
"I saw it, Theo. I'm not blind." I said, exasperated. This boy was getting on my nerves, and had been all day, quite honestly. Oh, yes, he is my friend, but there's only so much hyperactive lunatic one person can stand at a time.
I closed my eyes, and let my forehead rest on the table. I vaguely heard the noise level in the Hall increasing, until it suddenly stopped. Only then did I look up. McGonagall was leading a line of first-years into the Hall for the Sorting. Either the first-years had gotten attacked by Peeves' water-balloons, or they'd gone for a swim in the lake, or maybe both - either way, they were dripping wet.
When McGonagall set the Sorting Hat down, it started singing, but I wasn't interested in the song - I was interested in who the new firsties were.
"Ackerley, Stewart!"
"Ravenclaw!"
On second thought, make that the new Slytherin firsties.
"Baddock, Malcolm!" I've heard that surname before - not badly off, but sure as hell not one of the fanatical pureblood types. Memo to me, make friends with that kid.
"De Vil, Reana!" I'm related to them on my father's side ... really strong pureblood prejudices ... but there's always a white sheep in a family, so she's worth getting to know.
"Fenris, Orin!" Another one of the pureblood fanatic families.
"Kulami, Tara!" A dark girl, who looked remarkably familiar ... wait a minute, isn't that Kendra's last name? That girl is definitely on my to-make-friends-with list.
"Moran, John!" Guess who he's related to? Not one of the fanatical families, unless you count getting Sorted into Gryffindor as something to get fanatical over. Poor kid.
"Prichard, Graham!" Never heard of that name. Maybe Mudblood, maybe half-blood. If I decide to make friends with him, I'll not tell anyone else about it.
"Rookwood, Martin!" His uncle's in Azkaban for being a Death Eater. Need I say more?
"Stone, Sarah!" That's an old pureblood name ... very pro-Muggle, though - so much so that they cross-bred with Muggles a lot.
"Vance, Darla!" Bit of an enigma, that family. Not an anti-Muggle family, though, they're just weird.
And that's it. All the new Slytherins for this year. Not too bad, actually. Now I suppose you're wondering why I'm so interested this year ... the truth of the matter is, I like to know who my allies are, and I'm going to need to talk to not just them but most of the other years too - I know trouble is brewing, and I want to make sure I know who to trust beforehand.
Once the Sorting ceremony was over, Dumbledore stood, and everyone seemed to be expecting one of his usual speeches, "I have only two words to say to you." he announced, "Tuck in." and with that the feast appeared.
Everyone around me may as well have dived at their plates from a spring-board ... I, on the other hand, ate in a civilised and orderly fashion that, considering how much they got on the table, on the floor and on their faces, ended up being just as effective for getting food into my mouth ... and a lot less messy. It didn't seem to take long for the food to vanish ... and I don't mean into thin air, I mean down people's throats. Then the plates cleared and more food appeared ... that too soon vanished ... I think Crabbe stole half my chocolate cake when I glanced up to look at a sudden flash of lightening on the ceiling. The chocolate smeared around his mouth, when he had been eating treacle tart a minute ago, is proof enough, don't you think? I glared at him angrily as the plates cleared themselves again.
"Don't you know what manners are, Crabbe?" I whispered angrily.
"Don't you?" Pansy asked, pointing to the staff table where Dumbledore had stood up again. I shut up.
"So," Dumbledore began, "Now that we are all fed and watered, I must once more ask for your attention, while I give out a few notices. Mr Filch, the caretaker, has asked me to tell you that the list of objects forbidden inside the castle has this year been extended to include Screaming Yo-yos, Fanged Frisbees and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs. The full list comprises some four hundred and thirty-seven items, I believe, and can be viewed in Mr Filch's office, if anybody would like to check it." I swear Dumbledore nearly smirking there. I don't blame him - no one in their right minds would -
"Memo to me, check that list." I banged my head against the table, and glared at Theo, who had just said that.
"As ever," Dumbledore continued, "I would like to remind you all that the Forest in the grounds is out-of-bounds to students, as is the village of Hogsmeade to all below third year. It is also my painful duty to inform you that the inter-house Quidditch Cup will not take place this year."
There were a few gasps of shock and exclamations of protest, particularly Warrington's shout of, "No way!" but most people were too surprised/shocked to react ... myself not being one of them - it's only logical that if they're going to hold the Tournament, they're not going to be able to have Quidditch as well.
Dumbledore, who we all know better than to think is oblivious to anything, feigned ignorance of these protests, as he continued to speak, "This is due to an event that will be starting in October, and continuing throughout the school year, taking up much of the teachers' time and energy - but I am sure you will all enjoy it immensely. I have great pleasure in announcing that this year at Hogwarts -" but just as he got to the good bit, he was interrupted by a rumble of thunder and the doors to the Great Hall banging open.
A man stood in the doorway, in a black cloak. Just as a flash of lightening lit him up, he lowered his hood to reveal long greying hair and a scarred face. Then he walked - no, limped - up to the staff table, with what sounded like a wooden leg. This man sure as hell knew how to make a good entrance. When he reached the staff table, another flash of lightening lit his face again, and I saw that he had one beady black eye and ... something that was trying to impersonate an eye, where his other eye should be.
"Mad-Eye." Theo muttered.
"Mad-Eye Moody?" I asked, in response to Theo's statement.
"Yep." Theo replied.
"I thought he was retired?" I asked.
"He was. Musta brought him outta retirement to teach. Probably couldn't find anyone else and he was a last resort, or something." Theo muttered, still staring in awe.
"You think he's the new DADA teacher?" I asked.
"What else would he be doing here?" Theo asked. I nodded - he had a point.
By this stage, Moody had seated himself at the staff table, and was watching pretty-much everyone with suspicion. Well, one of his eyes was, anyway. That's just creepy. Dumbledore then spoke again, "May I introduce our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Professor Moody."
"What'd I tell ya?" Theo muttered to me. I hit him - I'd already admitted he was right, he didn't need to gloat.
Dumbledore and Hagrid were literally the only people in the Hall who even tried to applaud the new teacher. I think most of the students were just a bit too scared, really. After a moment of awkward silence, Dumbledore cleared his throat, "As I was saying, we are to have the honour of hosting a very exciting event over the coming months, an event which had not been held for over a century." For good reason - it got a lot of people killed, duh. "It is my very great pleasure to inform you that the Triwizard Tournament will be taking place at Hogwarts this year."
"You're JOKING!" a Weasley twin shouted. That shattered the tension pretty well. Most of the school laughed ... considering who caused said laughter, you can guess I wasn't one of them ... although I did think it was funny, I just didn't show that I thought that.
"I am not joking, Mr Weasley." Dumbledore replied, "Though now you mention it, I did hear an excellent one over the summer about a troll, a hag and a leprechaun who all go into a bar -" but McGonagall brought him back to reality by clearing her throat.
Theo on the other hand, whispered to me, "And they all lived happily ever after." I couldn't help sniggering a bit.
"Er - but maybe this is not the time ... no ... where was I? Ah, yes, the Triwizard Tournament ... well, some of you will not know what this Tournament involves, so I hope those who do know will forgive me for giving a short explanation, and allow their attention to wander freely." yeah, right ... like I was going to ignore a word he said ... I'm not stupid. "The Triwizard Tournament was first established some seven hundred years ago, as a friendly competition between the three largest European schools of wizardry - Hogwarts, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. A champion was selected to represent each school, and the three champions competed in three magical tasks. The schools took it in turns to host the Tournament once every five years, and it was generally agreed to be a most excellent way of establishing ties between young witches and wizards of different nationalities - until, that is, the death toll mounted so high that the Tournament was discontinued. There have been several attempts over the centuries to reinstate the Tournament, none of which have been very successful. However, our own Departments of International Magical Co-operation and Magical Games and Sports have decided the time is ripe for another attempt. We have worked hard over the summer to ensure that, this time, no champion will find himself or herself in mortal danger. The Heads of Beauxbatons and Durmstrang will be arriving with their short-listed contenders in October, and the selection of the three champions will take place at Hallowe'en. An impartial judge will decide which students are most worthy to compete for the Triwizard Cup, the glory of their school, and a thousand Galleons personal prize money." at the mention of money, a wave of mutterings and whispers passed over the Hall. You'd think money could buy happiness, the way they're getting all excited about it. "Eager though I know all of you will be to bring the Triwizard Cup to Hogwarts, the Heads of the participating schools, along with the Ministry of Magic, have agreed to impose an age restriction on contenders this year. Only students who are of age - that is to say, seventeen years or older - will be allowed to put forward their names for consideration." Dumbledore had to raise his voice over the protests, here, "This is a measure we feel is necessary, given that the Tournament tasks will still be difficult and dangerous, whatever precautions we take, and it is highly unlikely that students below sixth and seventh year will be able to cope with them. I will personally be ensuring that no underage student hoodwinks our impartial judge into making them Hogwarts champion. I therefore beg you not to waste your time submitting yourselves if you are under seventeen. The delegations from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang will be arriving in October, and remaining with us for the greater part of this year. I know that you will all extend every courtesy to our foreign guests while they are with us, and will give your whole-hearted support to the Hogwarts champion when he or she is selected. And now, it is late, and I know how important it is to you all to be alert and rested as you enter your lessons tomorrow morning. Bedtime! Chop chop!" and with that too-long speech said, he sat back down again.
"Who's he think thinks it's important to be alert for classes?" Theo asked.
"Ravenclaws." I answered immediately.
Theo nodded in agreement, as we made our way down to the dungeons.
* * *
Crabbe and Goyle were already doing pretty accurate impersonations of the Hogwarts Express (their snoring) when Theo and I got to the dorm that evening.
"What the hell were you and Lovegood talking about earlier, anyway?" I asked, as we got ready for bed.
"Nothing you'd be interested in." Theo answered.
"Says who?" I asked.
"Says me. If you can't see them, it doesn't matter to you." Theo answered.
"So you're seeing things that only you and Lovegood can see? You do realise that's a sign of a delusional mind, don't you?" I asked.
"I guessed as much." Theo said, shrugging.
"Just checking." I muttered, as I climbed into my bed.
Theo grinned in a way that must have been deliberately designed to look unhinged and insane, then jumped - no, bounced - into his bed, and lay down to go to sleep.
* * *
"My sister's gonna enter." Theo informed me as he sat down next to me at breakfast the next day.
"Huh?" I asked.
"My sister - the Ravenclaw. The one who told me about the secret passages out of the girls dorm corridors, and when I tried to get in to use one I got physically kicked out by various statues." Theo explained.
"Oh, her."
"Yeah." Theo smirked, "I told her it was stupid ... she said she knows she'll never get picked, but that this way all the Ravenclaw lot will think she's really great for trying."
"She thinks the same way as you, then?" I asked.
"Nah, she's saner than me. But she talks to Luna occasionally." Theo said, and as he said that a copy of the Quibbler fell into his bowl of cornflakes. Then Noctowl landed on my shoulder and dropped a bag of sweets neatly beside my plate, then swiped the scrap of bacon I hadn't finished. Once he'd finished eating it, he took a swipe at Theo before taking off again. "Damn bird!" Theo snapped, glaring at where Noctowl had successfully ripped a hole in the sleeve of his robes.
At that moment, Cat sat down opposite us and immediately started talking, "Carrie and Samantha are plotting to set up an unofficial Quidditch league this year, but they're not getting the support from their Hufflepuff and Gryffindor allies ... Cedric, Darren, Wesley, Zach and the Twin Terrors are all too wrapped up in the Tournament."
"I didn't follow half those names." I said simply.
"Carrie is Theo's sister - Samantha is my cousin - both are Ravens." Cat explained, "Cedric, Darren, Wesley and Zach are on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, same year as the girls ... and the Twin Terrors -"
"Are Weasleys, I knew that." I finished for her.
"They're all friends - not close friends like the Terrors and the Lion brat who commentates Quidditch matches - but on a level to conspire when they feel like it." Cat added.
"I see." I muttered, "Why do I always get the gossip of the school on the first day?"
"Because we like you." Blaise said, sitting next to Cat, "Oh, I heard Sprout talking to Flitwick about the Tournament - most of the Huffles and Ravens are too scared to participate - afraid of getting killed."
"Don't blame them." Cat and I said at exactly the same time. I looked at her and she pretended she hadn't said anything.
Pansy sat down beside me. "Who are you all taking to the Yule Ball?"
"The what?" Theo and I asked.
"The Yule Ball. Every Triwizard Tournament through history has had a Yule Ball with it. You have to take dates." Pansy answered, giving me a meaningful look.
"I dunno. I'll need to think about it." I said evasively. I know perfectly well she wanted me to take her. I also know perfectly well I'd rather take Theo.
"I'll ask Luna about it." Theo said dismissively, as if this was perfectly normal.
Blaise giggled, "I hope one of the Quidditch team asks me."
"You're so shallow, Blaise ... you too, Pans ... I'm gonna ask that Muggle-born boy - Jake." Cat said. We all gave her horrified looks, "What? He's a Slytherin - I don't see a problem!"
"You already said the problem, girl." Pansy snapped, "He's a Mudblood!"
"And you can't ask the guy to go - he has to ask you!" Blaise added.
"Quit living in the fifth century." Cat snapped back.
I sniggered, "She's got a point Blaise, the age of chivalry died out some time ago. I don't see a problem with the girl asking the guy to go to the dance." here, I gave Pansy a pointed look, that clearly said if she wanted to go to the Ball with me, she'd have to ask me.
"Thank you, Draco." Cat said gratefully.
"He's still a Mudblood, though." I noted.
Cat glared.
"We've got Transfiguration." Theo noted, trying to stop Cat from saying whatever insult was on the tip of her tongue.
"You son of a -" Cat started, still glaring at me.
"Let's go." I interrupted, and stood up, walking away and not listening to find out if she finished her insult.
* * *
Transfiguration was quite uneventful. Although McGonagall was more than a little surprised when I successfully turned my gerbil into a guinea pig on the first try. Well, I had been practicing all summer on the animal-to-animal Transfiguration spells.
"How'd you do that?" Theo asked on our way outside for Care of Magical Creatures.
"Simple, I've been practicing. You don't think I was gonna try my project without knowing the basic organic transformations, do you?" I said, smirking.
"How close are you to doing it, then?" Theo asked.
"I should be ready to try the actual change by the end of the school year. You are gonna be there to turn me back if I screw up."
"You trust me that much? I'm flattered."
"I just know you get good enough grades in Transfiguration."
"Yeah, and I did turn that Ravenclaw into a toad last year."
"You turned a Ravenclaw into a toad?" I asked, surprised.
"Yep."
"Why didn't I hear about it?"
"Because he bribed me to keep quiet about it, and no, I'm not gonna tell you who it was - I'm getting paid well to keep that to myself." Theo said grinning.
"Whatever." I muttered, and walked on ahead to catch up with the Two Twits, who immediately fell into step behind me when they realised I was there.
"Blast-Ended Skrewts!" I heard Hagrid shout, from some distance away. When we got down to the gamekeeper's hut, we found the Gryffindors already there, and Hagrid going on about the boxes of ... I looked to see what they were and decided deformed rotten fish could be a good description of them. "On'y jus' hatched, so yeh'll be able ter raise 'em yerselves! Thought we'd make a bit of a project of it!" Hagrid was saying.
"And why would we want to raise them?" I asked - I didn't even know what they were and I thought I knew most dangerous creatures from the books I read. Hagrid didn't seem to have an answer, so I added, "I mean, what do they do? What is the point of them?"
He impersonated a fish for a moment (opening and closing his mouth soundlessly), then said, "Tha's next lesson, Malfoy. Yer jus' feedin' 'em today." translation, he has no idea, "Now, yeh'll wan' ter try 'em on a few diff'rent things - I've never had 'em before, not sure what they'll go fer." does that include human flesh? Seriously, one more screw up and I'll have you fired, "I got ant eggs an' frog livers an' a bit o' grass-snake - just try 'em out with a bit of each."
Even the Gryffindors were complaining about this, and they usually take his side.
I glanced around at the rest of the class ... the Terrible Trio were first to reluctantly go near the creatures ... even Crabbe and Goyle, who don't have much brainpower, were intelligent enough to stay away from whatever-they-were. Pansy walked over to me, "We don't have to ... touch those things ... do we?" she whined.
"I wasn't planning on it." I replied, eyeing the creatures warily.
"Maybe we could feign sickness?" Pansy asked hopefully.
"Any bright ideas how?" I asked.
"Erm ... only one springs to mind and I don't think it'd help you." she said giving the creatures another disgusted look.
I gave her a 'huh?' look, but had no idea what she was talking about, "Whatever. I don't want to go near them ... d'you think I could get away with saying I was allergic?"
"Probably not ... there's no fur ... it's only furry creatures that people get allergic to." Pansy said.
"It's worth a try."
"Ouch!" one of the Gryffindor boys yelled, "It got me!"
"Are these the sort of demonic creatures that'll take off a whole hand even thought they're smaller than one?" Pansy asked, glancing over at the boy.
"Its end exploded!" the boy clarified loudly as Hagrid rushed over to see if he was ok.
"The question someone has to ask is which end is which?" I muttered.
"Yeah, do they even have mouths?" Pansy added, "How can he expect us to feed them if they don't have mouths?"
"Eurgh! Hagrid, what's that pointy thing on it?" one of the Gryffindor girls asked.
"Ah, some of 'em have got stings." Hagrid explained with too much enthusiasm. The girl quickly backed away from the box of creatures, "I reckon they're the males ... the females've got sorta sucker things on their bellies." Pansy suddenly clapped her hand over her mouth and seemed to be fighting not to burst out laughing, "I think they might be ter suck blood."
"Well I can certainly see why we're trying to keep them alive. Who wouldn't want pets that can burn, sting and bite all at once?" I asked sarcastically, and loudly enough for everyone else to hear.
"Just because they're not very pretty, it doesn't mean they're not useful." Hermione snapped at me, "Dragon blood's amazingly magical, but you wouldn't want a dragon as a pet would you?" You know something ... I think she just agreed with me ... she knows perfectly well that I know Hagrid had a dragon as a pet in our first year. That's basically saying Hagrid likes dangerous things no sane person would want to go near ... which was my point in the first place.
Pansy was still sniggering as I ordered Crabbe and Goyle to, "Look useful, and pretend to feed those things."
"Draco ... why aren't we doing anything?" she asked.
"Because I'm not going near those little beasts." I answered.
"Sensible move ... and you know that thing Hagrid said about the males and females ..." she paused to giggle.
"What?" I asked warily.
"What if those 'stings' are -"
"Oh god no. Do not finish that sentence, please!" I interrupted.
* * *
End of chapter 5
Author's Notes: To hell with it, I'm uploading this even though my beta's not got back to me yet. I had to feature them ... and giving them a chapter title seemed appropriate. Sorry for Pansy's perversity ... but you can't say it was uncalled for. And by the way, those of you who do review - I love long reviews ... they are my life blood and my doctor just said my blood count is low! I need blood! Mwahahahahahaaaa! ... ... ... sorry, hyper.
ANGEL: Oh, I am writing more, don't worry.
Princess of Darkness: Bunnies really are evil - that's why I wrote it here ... and they will be mentioned again, I'm sure. Can you name someone else who's spent a great deal of "time off" from being evil incarnate, in Albania? I enjoy making connections - it makes writing more fun, that way.
Devi: *grins* I couldn't resist the Crouch/Weatherby line - it was begging to be used again. I love Luna - why, exactly do you hate her?
Druscilla Black: Thanks.
duochang97: I agree with Anya, completely. She is one of my favourite characters in BtVS (after Spike, of course). Well, Ron did say "They'll be announcing their engagement any day now" ... it's all Ron's fault I added that to the Quibbler - what better place to put all the jokes and spoofs? As for your review for In Love With... yes, it was my *thinks* third fanfic ever, and the only thing I don't know what your talking about is how can you not find re-runs of DS9? I've seen all the series of it, three or four times!
Exodia Himself: *taps the side of her nose conspiratorially* I ain't saying who he saw die. Not yet, anyways.
Elizabeth: Yeah, it's fun to write, too.
Starre: I agree - I ain't saying yet. But chapter 10 isn't that far away - it's only five more chapters to wait.
angelkas: Theo is fourteen. And his parents didn't even know he slipped off into the Muggle city - he transfigured a piece of scrap parchment into a fake ID, and got the tattoo by himself.
Hrei-siesn: Thank you.
"You all know what you're getting yourselves into?" "He said Hell, right? ... Well, I'm going to end up there, sooner or later, so I might as well check out the neighbourhood." -Stargate SG1
Chapter 5 - Blast-Ended Skrewts
Once we got out of the carriages, and into the entrance hall, Peeves shrieked with glee, as he flew over us, "Ickle students came back for more!" and threw a water-balloon at the first student who entered the hall - a Ravenclaw, who I couldn't have named if I'd tried. It didn't make much difference considering he was already soaked.
"Oi, Peeves!" I shouted, "I hear some Gryffindors used charms to keep the rain off them!"
Peeves grinned at me, "Thanks for the tip-off." he cackled, and zoomed over to the group of unwary Gryffindors who had come in seconds after I said that, and threw a water-balloon at the nearest Weasley. I sniggered, and bolted into the Great Hall, before anyone noticed I'd done that.
Taking my usual seat, Theo sat down next to me, "That was a good one, Draco ... got the Weasley-sidekick right in the face."
"I saw it, Theo. I'm not blind." I said, exasperated. This boy was getting on my nerves, and had been all day, quite honestly. Oh, yes, he is my friend, but there's only so much hyperactive lunatic one person can stand at a time.
I closed my eyes, and let my forehead rest on the table. I vaguely heard the noise level in the Hall increasing, until it suddenly stopped. Only then did I look up. McGonagall was leading a line of first-years into the Hall for the Sorting. Either the first-years had gotten attacked by Peeves' water-balloons, or they'd gone for a swim in the lake, or maybe both - either way, they were dripping wet.
When McGonagall set the Sorting Hat down, it started singing, but I wasn't interested in the song - I was interested in who the new firsties were.
"Ackerley, Stewart!"
"Ravenclaw!"
On second thought, make that the new Slytherin firsties.
"Baddock, Malcolm!" I've heard that surname before - not badly off, but sure as hell not one of the fanatical pureblood types. Memo to me, make friends with that kid.
"De Vil, Reana!" I'm related to them on my father's side ... really strong pureblood prejudices ... but there's always a white sheep in a family, so she's worth getting to know.
"Fenris, Orin!" Another one of the pureblood fanatic families.
"Kulami, Tara!" A dark girl, who looked remarkably familiar ... wait a minute, isn't that Kendra's last name? That girl is definitely on my to-make-friends-with list.
"Moran, John!" Guess who he's related to? Not one of the fanatical families, unless you count getting Sorted into Gryffindor as something to get fanatical over. Poor kid.
"Prichard, Graham!" Never heard of that name. Maybe Mudblood, maybe half-blood. If I decide to make friends with him, I'll not tell anyone else about it.
"Rookwood, Martin!" His uncle's in Azkaban for being a Death Eater. Need I say more?
"Stone, Sarah!" That's an old pureblood name ... very pro-Muggle, though - so much so that they cross-bred with Muggles a lot.
"Vance, Darla!" Bit of an enigma, that family. Not an anti-Muggle family, though, they're just weird.
And that's it. All the new Slytherins for this year. Not too bad, actually. Now I suppose you're wondering why I'm so interested this year ... the truth of the matter is, I like to know who my allies are, and I'm going to need to talk to not just them but most of the other years too - I know trouble is brewing, and I want to make sure I know who to trust beforehand.
Once the Sorting ceremony was over, Dumbledore stood, and everyone seemed to be expecting one of his usual speeches, "I have only two words to say to you." he announced, "Tuck in." and with that the feast appeared.
Everyone around me may as well have dived at their plates from a spring-board ... I, on the other hand, ate in a civilised and orderly fashion that, considering how much they got on the table, on the floor and on their faces, ended up being just as effective for getting food into my mouth ... and a lot less messy. It didn't seem to take long for the food to vanish ... and I don't mean into thin air, I mean down people's throats. Then the plates cleared and more food appeared ... that too soon vanished ... I think Crabbe stole half my chocolate cake when I glanced up to look at a sudden flash of lightening on the ceiling. The chocolate smeared around his mouth, when he had been eating treacle tart a minute ago, is proof enough, don't you think? I glared at him angrily as the plates cleared themselves again.
"Don't you know what manners are, Crabbe?" I whispered angrily.
"Don't you?" Pansy asked, pointing to the staff table where Dumbledore had stood up again. I shut up.
"So," Dumbledore began, "Now that we are all fed and watered, I must once more ask for your attention, while I give out a few notices. Mr Filch, the caretaker, has asked me to tell you that the list of objects forbidden inside the castle has this year been extended to include Screaming Yo-yos, Fanged Frisbees and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs. The full list comprises some four hundred and thirty-seven items, I believe, and can be viewed in Mr Filch's office, if anybody would like to check it." I swear Dumbledore nearly smirking there. I don't blame him - no one in their right minds would -
"Memo to me, check that list." I banged my head against the table, and glared at Theo, who had just said that.
"As ever," Dumbledore continued, "I would like to remind you all that the Forest in the grounds is out-of-bounds to students, as is the village of Hogsmeade to all below third year. It is also my painful duty to inform you that the inter-house Quidditch Cup will not take place this year."
There were a few gasps of shock and exclamations of protest, particularly Warrington's shout of, "No way!" but most people were too surprised/shocked to react ... myself not being one of them - it's only logical that if they're going to hold the Tournament, they're not going to be able to have Quidditch as well.
Dumbledore, who we all know better than to think is oblivious to anything, feigned ignorance of these protests, as he continued to speak, "This is due to an event that will be starting in October, and continuing throughout the school year, taking up much of the teachers' time and energy - but I am sure you will all enjoy it immensely. I have great pleasure in announcing that this year at Hogwarts -" but just as he got to the good bit, he was interrupted by a rumble of thunder and the doors to the Great Hall banging open.
A man stood in the doorway, in a black cloak. Just as a flash of lightening lit him up, he lowered his hood to reveal long greying hair and a scarred face. Then he walked - no, limped - up to the staff table, with what sounded like a wooden leg. This man sure as hell knew how to make a good entrance. When he reached the staff table, another flash of lightening lit his face again, and I saw that he had one beady black eye and ... something that was trying to impersonate an eye, where his other eye should be.
"Mad-Eye." Theo muttered.
"Mad-Eye Moody?" I asked, in response to Theo's statement.
"Yep." Theo replied.
"I thought he was retired?" I asked.
"He was. Musta brought him outta retirement to teach. Probably couldn't find anyone else and he was a last resort, or something." Theo muttered, still staring in awe.
"You think he's the new DADA teacher?" I asked.
"What else would he be doing here?" Theo asked. I nodded - he had a point.
By this stage, Moody had seated himself at the staff table, and was watching pretty-much everyone with suspicion. Well, one of his eyes was, anyway. That's just creepy. Dumbledore then spoke again, "May I introduce our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Professor Moody."
"What'd I tell ya?" Theo muttered to me. I hit him - I'd already admitted he was right, he didn't need to gloat.
Dumbledore and Hagrid were literally the only people in the Hall who even tried to applaud the new teacher. I think most of the students were just a bit too scared, really. After a moment of awkward silence, Dumbledore cleared his throat, "As I was saying, we are to have the honour of hosting a very exciting event over the coming months, an event which had not been held for over a century." For good reason - it got a lot of people killed, duh. "It is my very great pleasure to inform you that the Triwizard Tournament will be taking place at Hogwarts this year."
"You're JOKING!" a Weasley twin shouted. That shattered the tension pretty well. Most of the school laughed ... considering who caused said laughter, you can guess I wasn't one of them ... although I did think it was funny, I just didn't show that I thought that.
"I am not joking, Mr Weasley." Dumbledore replied, "Though now you mention it, I did hear an excellent one over the summer about a troll, a hag and a leprechaun who all go into a bar -" but McGonagall brought him back to reality by clearing her throat.
Theo on the other hand, whispered to me, "And they all lived happily ever after." I couldn't help sniggering a bit.
"Er - but maybe this is not the time ... no ... where was I? Ah, yes, the Triwizard Tournament ... well, some of you will not know what this Tournament involves, so I hope those who do know will forgive me for giving a short explanation, and allow their attention to wander freely." yeah, right ... like I was going to ignore a word he said ... I'm not stupid. "The Triwizard Tournament was first established some seven hundred years ago, as a friendly competition between the three largest European schools of wizardry - Hogwarts, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. A champion was selected to represent each school, and the three champions competed in three magical tasks. The schools took it in turns to host the Tournament once every five years, and it was generally agreed to be a most excellent way of establishing ties between young witches and wizards of different nationalities - until, that is, the death toll mounted so high that the Tournament was discontinued. There have been several attempts over the centuries to reinstate the Tournament, none of which have been very successful. However, our own Departments of International Magical Co-operation and Magical Games and Sports have decided the time is ripe for another attempt. We have worked hard over the summer to ensure that, this time, no champion will find himself or herself in mortal danger. The Heads of Beauxbatons and Durmstrang will be arriving with their short-listed contenders in October, and the selection of the three champions will take place at Hallowe'en. An impartial judge will decide which students are most worthy to compete for the Triwizard Cup, the glory of their school, and a thousand Galleons personal prize money." at the mention of money, a wave of mutterings and whispers passed over the Hall. You'd think money could buy happiness, the way they're getting all excited about it. "Eager though I know all of you will be to bring the Triwizard Cup to Hogwarts, the Heads of the participating schools, along with the Ministry of Magic, have agreed to impose an age restriction on contenders this year. Only students who are of age - that is to say, seventeen years or older - will be allowed to put forward their names for consideration." Dumbledore had to raise his voice over the protests, here, "This is a measure we feel is necessary, given that the Tournament tasks will still be difficult and dangerous, whatever precautions we take, and it is highly unlikely that students below sixth and seventh year will be able to cope with them. I will personally be ensuring that no underage student hoodwinks our impartial judge into making them Hogwarts champion. I therefore beg you not to waste your time submitting yourselves if you are under seventeen. The delegations from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang will be arriving in October, and remaining with us for the greater part of this year. I know that you will all extend every courtesy to our foreign guests while they are with us, and will give your whole-hearted support to the Hogwarts champion when he or she is selected. And now, it is late, and I know how important it is to you all to be alert and rested as you enter your lessons tomorrow morning. Bedtime! Chop chop!" and with that too-long speech said, he sat back down again.
"Who's he think thinks it's important to be alert for classes?" Theo asked.
"Ravenclaws." I answered immediately.
Theo nodded in agreement, as we made our way down to the dungeons.
* * *
Crabbe and Goyle were already doing pretty accurate impersonations of the Hogwarts Express (their snoring) when Theo and I got to the dorm that evening.
"What the hell were you and Lovegood talking about earlier, anyway?" I asked, as we got ready for bed.
"Nothing you'd be interested in." Theo answered.
"Says who?" I asked.
"Says me. If you can't see them, it doesn't matter to you." Theo answered.
"So you're seeing things that only you and Lovegood can see? You do realise that's a sign of a delusional mind, don't you?" I asked.
"I guessed as much." Theo said, shrugging.
"Just checking." I muttered, as I climbed into my bed.
Theo grinned in a way that must have been deliberately designed to look unhinged and insane, then jumped - no, bounced - into his bed, and lay down to go to sleep.
* * *
"My sister's gonna enter." Theo informed me as he sat down next to me at breakfast the next day.
"Huh?" I asked.
"My sister - the Ravenclaw. The one who told me about the secret passages out of the girls dorm corridors, and when I tried to get in to use one I got physically kicked out by various statues." Theo explained.
"Oh, her."
"Yeah." Theo smirked, "I told her it was stupid ... she said she knows she'll never get picked, but that this way all the Ravenclaw lot will think she's really great for trying."
"She thinks the same way as you, then?" I asked.
"Nah, she's saner than me. But she talks to Luna occasionally." Theo said, and as he said that a copy of the Quibbler fell into his bowl of cornflakes. Then Noctowl landed on my shoulder and dropped a bag of sweets neatly beside my plate, then swiped the scrap of bacon I hadn't finished. Once he'd finished eating it, he took a swipe at Theo before taking off again. "Damn bird!" Theo snapped, glaring at where Noctowl had successfully ripped a hole in the sleeve of his robes.
At that moment, Cat sat down opposite us and immediately started talking, "Carrie and Samantha are plotting to set up an unofficial Quidditch league this year, but they're not getting the support from their Hufflepuff and Gryffindor allies ... Cedric, Darren, Wesley, Zach and the Twin Terrors are all too wrapped up in the Tournament."
"I didn't follow half those names." I said simply.
"Carrie is Theo's sister - Samantha is my cousin - both are Ravens." Cat explained, "Cedric, Darren, Wesley and Zach are on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, same year as the girls ... and the Twin Terrors -"
"Are Weasleys, I knew that." I finished for her.
"They're all friends - not close friends like the Terrors and the Lion brat who commentates Quidditch matches - but on a level to conspire when they feel like it." Cat added.
"I see." I muttered, "Why do I always get the gossip of the school on the first day?"
"Because we like you." Blaise said, sitting next to Cat, "Oh, I heard Sprout talking to Flitwick about the Tournament - most of the Huffles and Ravens are too scared to participate - afraid of getting killed."
"Don't blame them." Cat and I said at exactly the same time. I looked at her and she pretended she hadn't said anything.
Pansy sat down beside me. "Who are you all taking to the Yule Ball?"
"The what?" Theo and I asked.
"The Yule Ball. Every Triwizard Tournament through history has had a Yule Ball with it. You have to take dates." Pansy answered, giving me a meaningful look.
"I dunno. I'll need to think about it." I said evasively. I know perfectly well she wanted me to take her. I also know perfectly well I'd rather take Theo.
"I'll ask Luna about it." Theo said dismissively, as if this was perfectly normal.
Blaise giggled, "I hope one of the Quidditch team asks me."
"You're so shallow, Blaise ... you too, Pans ... I'm gonna ask that Muggle-born boy - Jake." Cat said. We all gave her horrified looks, "What? He's a Slytherin - I don't see a problem!"
"You already said the problem, girl." Pansy snapped, "He's a Mudblood!"
"And you can't ask the guy to go - he has to ask you!" Blaise added.
"Quit living in the fifth century." Cat snapped back.
I sniggered, "She's got a point Blaise, the age of chivalry died out some time ago. I don't see a problem with the girl asking the guy to go to the dance." here, I gave Pansy a pointed look, that clearly said if she wanted to go to the Ball with me, she'd have to ask me.
"Thank you, Draco." Cat said gratefully.
"He's still a Mudblood, though." I noted.
Cat glared.
"We've got Transfiguration." Theo noted, trying to stop Cat from saying whatever insult was on the tip of her tongue.
"You son of a -" Cat started, still glaring at me.
"Let's go." I interrupted, and stood up, walking away and not listening to find out if she finished her insult.
* * *
Transfiguration was quite uneventful. Although McGonagall was more than a little surprised when I successfully turned my gerbil into a guinea pig on the first try. Well, I had been practicing all summer on the animal-to-animal Transfiguration spells.
"How'd you do that?" Theo asked on our way outside for Care of Magical Creatures.
"Simple, I've been practicing. You don't think I was gonna try my project without knowing the basic organic transformations, do you?" I said, smirking.
"How close are you to doing it, then?" Theo asked.
"I should be ready to try the actual change by the end of the school year. You are gonna be there to turn me back if I screw up."
"You trust me that much? I'm flattered."
"I just know you get good enough grades in Transfiguration."
"Yeah, and I did turn that Ravenclaw into a toad last year."
"You turned a Ravenclaw into a toad?" I asked, surprised.
"Yep."
"Why didn't I hear about it?"
"Because he bribed me to keep quiet about it, and no, I'm not gonna tell you who it was - I'm getting paid well to keep that to myself." Theo said grinning.
"Whatever." I muttered, and walked on ahead to catch up with the Two Twits, who immediately fell into step behind me when they realised I was there.
"Blast-Ended Skrewts!" I heard Hagrid shout, from some distance away. When we got down to the gamekeeper's hut, we found the Gryffindors already there, and Hagrid going on about the boxes of ... I looked to see what they were and decided deformed rotten fish could be a good description of them. "On'y jus' hatched, so yeh'll be able ter raise 'em yerselves! Thought we'd make a bit of a project of it!" Hagrid was saying.
"And why would we want to raise them?" I asked - I didn't even know what they were and I thought I knew most dangerous creatures from the books I read. Hagrid didn't seem to have an answer, so I added, "I mean, what do they do? What is the point of them?"
He impersonated a fish for a moment (opening and closing his mouth soundlessly), then said, "Tha's next lesson, Malfoy. Yer jus' feedin' 'em today." translation, he has no idea, "Now, yeh'll wan' ter try 'em on a few diff'rent things - I've never had 'em before, not sure what they'll go fer." does that include human flesh? Seriously, one more screw up and I'll have you fired, "I got ant eggs an' frog livers an' a bit o' grass-snake - just try 'em out with a bit of each."
Even the Gryffindors were complaining about this, and they usually take his side.
I glanced around at the rest of the class ... the Terrible Trio were first to reluctantly go near the creatures ... even Crabbe and Goyle, who don't have much brainpower, were intelligent enough to stay away from whatever-they-were. Pansy walked over to me, "We don't have to ... touch those things ... do we?" she whined.
"I wasn't planning on it." I replied, eyeing the creatures warily.
"Maybe we could feign sickness?" Pansy asked hopefully.
"Any bright ideas how?" I asked.
"Erm ... only one springs to mind and I don't think it'd help you." she said giving the creatures another disgusted look.
I gave her a 'huh?' look, but had no idea what she was talking about, "Whatever. I don't want to go near them ... d'you think I could get away with saying I was allergic?"
"Probably not ... there's no fur ... it's only furry creatures that people get allergic to." Pansy said.
"It's worth a try."
"Ouch!" one of the Gryffindor boys yelled, "It got me!"
"Are these the sort of demonic creatures that'll take off a whole hand even thought they're smaller than one?" Pansy asked, glancing over at the boy.
"Its end exploded!" the boy clarified loudly as Hagrid rushed over to see if he was ok.
"The question someone has to ask is which end is which?" I muttered.
"Yeah, do they even have mouths?" Pansy added, "How can he expect us to feed them if they don't have mouths?"
"Eurgh! Hagrid, what's that pointy thing on it?" one of the Gryffindor girls asked.
"Ah, some of 'em have got stings." Hagrid explained with too much enthusiasm. The girl quickly backed away from the box of creatures, "I reckon they're the males ... the females've got sorta sucker things on their bellies." Pansy suddenly clapped her hand over her mouth and seemed to be fighting not to burst out laughing, "I think they might be ter suck blood."
"Well I can certainly see why we're trying to keep them alive. Who wouldn't want pets that can burn, sting and bite all at once?" I asked sarcastically, and loudly enough for everyone else to hear.
"Just because they're not very pretty, it doesn't mean they're not useful." Hermione snapped at me, "Dragon blood's amazingly magical, but you wouldn't want a dragon as a pet would you?" You know something ... I think she just agreed with me ... she knows perfectly well that I know Hagrid had a dragon as a pet in our first year. That's basically saying Hagrid likes dangerous things no sane person would want to go near ... which was my point in the first place.
Pansy was still sniggering as I ordered Crabbe and Goyle to, "Look useful, and pretend to feed those things."
"Draco ... why aren't we doing anything?" she asked.
"Because I'm not going near those little beasts." I answered.
"Sensible move ... and you know that thing Hagrid said about the males and females ..." she paused to giggle.
"What?" I asked warily.
"What if those 'stings' are -"
"Oh god no. Do not finish that sentence, please!" I interrupted.
* * *
End of chapter 5