Disclaimer: I kinda miss doing disclaimers. The top just looks so empty and gives a bit of 'Hey look! This is the beginning of the chapter! YAY!' feel... oh, by the way, I don't own Inuyasha.
~*~*~*~
"How are you doing?" Sesshoumaru tried to make it sound as if it wasn't out of character. But try as he might, it sounded contrived and forced. "You look unusually attractive today."
Sesshoumaru frowned (which for him, was the barely discernable downturn of the corner of his lips) and focused. It just sounded wrong. Of course, his partner in this social exercise wasn't giving him any pointers on his delivery. Then again one couldn't expect his partner to give any help considering it was a cherry tree.
It had been almost two weeks since that first fight. He still wasn't quite sure what set her off again. Sesshoumaru was beginning to think he might not know how to handle females.
"Hello, Kagura. Nice weather we are having." Sesshoumaru said flatly. Small talk was never his forte. He hadn't attempted it since he was a young pup and had to be respectful to his father's associates.
Sesshoumaru paused. Talking about a subject like the weather was just idiotic. He knew she'd just raise one of her well-manicured eyebrows and sneer at such a lame line.
"So how was your outing?" Sesshoumaru attempted to smile but it came out more like a grimace. Then he shook his head and slipped into his old habit of talking to himself."That would not work. She would get angry at me for prying."
This was getting to be too much for poor Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru didn't even think he needed to think about women until he consolidated his position and rivaled the power of his late father. And even then, he'd only think of a female in the context of a useful tool to produce an alliance and heir. Jaken would probably be the one delegated to arrange it.
Sesshoumaru didn't want to follow his father's and younger brother's footsteps of having themselves led by any female that suited their fancy. Love didn't fit Sesshoumaru's ideology, which said that a taiyoukai's only goal should be the acquisition of power. He didn't see any reason why he should treat a girl any better than he treated anyone else, which was to dismiss them as beneath himself.
But now Kagura implied that there was something wrong with him because of that. That he couldn't be 'nice' to a girl no matter what. He didn't know why but he felt compelled to prove her wrong.
Of course, Rin and Jaken didn't know any of this from their hiding place. They continued to exchange worried looks. They never suspected that after that morning's tiff with the resident winduser, that their beloved lord would go off into the forest to talk to a tree.
Actually, he had been known to talk to a tree but, in that case, it was a wise and ancient, talking, youkai tree. The tree he was talking to this time appeared to be a regular, young cherry tree in full summer greenery. The situation was beyond bizarre but Sesshoumaru just had to have a reason behind it.
Rin couldn't take it any longer and stood bolt upright in her hiding place and yelled out, "Sesshoumaru-sama, compliment her on her foliage! It's very pretty!"
Sesshoumaru's eyes widened as he glanced back at his followers. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to get into the habit of ignoring certain persons' presences.
~*~*~
It's very odd how the stream of life twists. Kouga wouldn't call it funny, though. There are some things a guy shouldn't have to endure.
"Because it's not funny! It's pathetic!" Kouga thought to himself bitterly, thankful that no one of his tribe could see him in such a state. How the mighty have fallen.
"And then I said 'What the f*** do you mean by that!' and you know what he said?" Kagura continued her ranting from her seat. "Nothing! Nothing whatsoever! Do you know how frustrating it is to deal with such a man?"
"Yeah, yeah. Sesshoumaru's the scum of the Earth." Kouga sighed and grimaced. The worst part of this was that he knew he would be back the next time. And the next. The problem really was that Kouga couldn't fathom why.
"Dammit! Stop wiggling!" Kagura growled and punctuated the statement by grinding her knuckles between two of his ribs. Kouga whimpered in protest and tried to remain still. He couldn't do anything more and he knew it. Kagura had his wrists bound behind his back and was sitting on him, keeping him pinned with his face in the dirt. "So I told him to damn well answer me because you don't treat a woman like this!"
"You don't treat a man like this either." Kouga added mentally, continuing his personal tirade at the injustice of her treatment since she had surprised him that morning before he was even able to put on his armor."One thing is getting your butt kicked daily. It's another thing entirely to be ambushed then humiliated by having your wrist tied with a kimono's sash. Then to be forced to hear about another guy. Wait, if Kagura used her sash to bind me then what is keeping her kimono around her..." Kouga mused while trying to slyly crane his neck to look over his shoulder.
"I said stop moving!" Kagura ordered and rapped Kouga on the head with her fan. He hadn't tried to buck her off that time but she needed to keep in line. It was kinda fun to have someone listen to her for once. "I am not a servant and I am not a child! I am a lady, dammit! And I will not be ignored or talked down to! He needs to know that!"
Finally, Kouga couldn't keep his tongue. She wasn't extremely heavy and her rear was padded enough but the position of his arms and her occasionally digging her knee into his back was really starting to hurt. "If it's so bad, then why are you there in the first place!" he barked.
Kagura paused. Her voice softened as she absently put a hand to her chest to feel her heartbeat. "I don't know. He's not all bad. Sure, he can be a distant and cold bastard, yet," she sighed as a smile pulled at her lips, "He can be very nice at times."
Kouga felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. There are some things a guy shouldn't have to endure.
~*~*~
"Have I told you how lovely you look today?" Sesshoumaru grimaced at the phrasing.
"Oh, Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin let loose a very un-Kagura-like girlish giggle. Even if Rin was technically female like Kagura, Sesshoumaru absently wondered if the tree wasn't a better practice partner.
"This will not work." Sesshoumaru got up from bended knee in front of the still, giggling Rin. It was idiotic. He could already hear Kagura's voice in his head asking if he ate any funny mushrooms because she sure as hell looks same damn way she looks every damned day. She got denfensive at the oddest times.
"Yes it will, Sesshoumaru-sama. Trust your loyal Jaken. It always worked on the women in my court. You just take them by the hand, look them in the eye and say it like this." Jaken explained taking a hold of Sesshoumaru's hand and giving his master an intense look while lowering his voice, "Have I told you how beautiful you look today?"
Jaken, then, cocked an eyebrow and then pulled his lips back to give Sesshoumaru a glinting smile worthy of Miroku.
Sesshoumaru snatched his hand away, deeply disturbed. "Do not EVER do that again."
After kicking Jaken, he turned away, his eyebrow still twitching, while he wondered whether fire or maybe miko purification was now necessary for his poor hand.
~*~*~
Kagura got off of Kouga's back and released his bindings. Then she sat on the hill side, regarding the wolf boy sitting next to her rubbing the ligature mark off his wrists.
Kagura corrected herself. From his lanky frame and increasingly muscular build, Kouga was on the edge of full manhood. Another decade or so and one or two more growth spurts, Kouga would be entering his prime.
Kagura cleared her throat, deciding to redirect to safer subjects than odd appeal the combination of dirt, sweat, and leather made on Kouga. The fight Kouga put up that morning was a good subject. "Hey, nice move with that one attack, but what was that spinning supposed to be about?"
"I figured I'd try something new, see if I could distract you enough to get in an extra swipe."
"Pfft. It was distracting, all right. Damn stupid looking." Kagura wasn't about to tell him the reason it was distracting was that centrifical forces do interesting things even to fur skirts. "Still, you are improving."
Kouga was caught completely off guard for a second, and a bright hued blush surfaced on his tanned cheeks. Then he sat up a bit talker as his cocky smile instantly came to his lips.
"What can I say. I'm just that good." Kouga added as an afterthought, "You're not that bad yourself."
Kagura chuckled. "You sure are a great conversationalist."
"Of course I am!" he said, ignoring the fact that she had been the one doing the talking for the last hour.
"I really like how you don't buy into that silent, mysterious, and stoic bullshit." Kagura said, not letting her mind wander to the demon lord that did follow that pattern. Instead, she focused on her dueling partner, who if he puffed up his chest with pride any more, he'd would probably burst.
Before she had regarded his habit of complete confidence, in spite of all odds, as arrogant and annoying. Now she kinda understood why those two beta-males, who seemed scared of their own shadows half the time, seemed willing to follow him to hell and back if he asked. They say that familiarity breeds in contempt in one's leaders, but Kouga's flaws were somehow endearing and made one want bask in the warm sunshine of his company. It really was nice and Kagura decide that she needed to talk to Kouga more often.
~*~*~
Kagura tried to pick some grass out of her hair. Wrestling with Kouga had gotten her so mussed. She hoped she could get a bath in before Sesshoumaru wanted to go. She still had the excuse of Rin's promise and was in good enough spirits now to be willing to let things slide.
Kagura looked up and saw Sesshoumaru leaning against a tree at the opening of the clearing they were camped at. He was obviously waiting for her and alerted to her presence, even if he didn't give any indication.
Kagura's eyes hardened. "So he wants to continue this morning's argument. Fine then." Kagura said to herself, standing taller, completely unintimidated. She walked up to him. "Well, what do you want?"
Sesshoumaru turned to Kagura. Their eyes met for a few, long seconds when Sesshoumaru abruptly looked away."You look lovely."
Kagura blinked, not believing her ears were telling her the truth. It took her several seconds for her reeling mind to tell her to say thank you and by then Sesshoumaru had already retreated back to camp.
~*~*~
A/N: In a filler episode in the anime, Jaken revealed his past to Rin. He was a youkai lord/prince over a whole nation of toady-imp-like thingies, like himself. Sesshoumaru saved his life, so Jaken gave up his poisition to serve Sesshoumaru from then on!
---Omake time!
"'If I told you, you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me,'" Sesshoumaru looked down at the piece of paper in his and read.
If any mood inducing qualities existed in the line (or in his sexy low voice), they were instantly killed by his flat, monotone delivery. Then again, Sesshoumaru wasn't going aiming at sexy because he originally wasn't aiming for pick-up lines having never used them ever in his life.
"I don't think Kagura-sama would get mad if you told her that she was pretty. It doesn't make any sense." Rin stated, thankfully not getting the double entendre in the line.
Sesshoumaru, however, ignored her and glared daggers at his diminutive, youkai servant, Jaken. "This list is worthless. 'I'm drunk'? How is that a conversational opening?" Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow.
"Trust me, Sesshoumaru-sama. It works. " Jaken nods solemnly, remembering the party days of his youth. (Imagine Jaken, feudal-type drunken frat days. Him dancing around with a bottle of sake in one hand, a paper lantern on his head, and waving around one of those fans.)
Of course, Sesshoumaru wouldn't want to hear about any of those memories. He was too busy being appalled at the amassing of cheesy pick-up lines in his hands."'You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family' ?"
"Why would you want to marry a man, Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin tilted her head, confused.
"I wouldn't." Sesshoumaru replied to Rin while getting more cross at Jaken.
"Plus isn't her brother dead? And ugly." Rin asked, then began giggling while imagining Sesshoumaru and the mind-reading reptilian oni, Goshinki, in wedding clothes (or rather just Goshinki's head with a veil on it.) Then she remembered that all that remains of Goshinki is now Sesshoumaru's spare sword, Toukijin. The image of Sesshoumaru marrying his sword was even a more amusing image!
Sesshoumaru went back to ignoring his giggling, human, . . . well, no one really knew what purpose or role Rin filled in the group. But she was there and that's what mattered!
"All these lines are either lewd or make no sense. Or both." Sesshoumaru said, disgusted. He threw the papers into Jaken's face and turned to leave.
"Not all of them! Number 64 is applicable, Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jaken chased after his lord and held up the paper.
"'Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?' " Sesshoumaru bent over and read the pointed out line, his jaw clenching in agitation as a slight beigeish-off-whitish hue spread on his cheeks.
"What's flirting mean, Jaken-sama?" Rin asked, directing her question to Jaken who always open to talking to her, despite his complaints.
"Oh it's just what Sesshoumaru-sama and Kagura have been-AHHHHH!" Jaken's voice receded as he was kicked up into the air, well out of sight.
". . ." Sesshoumaru said nothing, as he stomped off to camp.
Meanwhile. . .
"He'll come back to me. I know he will. No one has said such sweet things to me before. *sigh* Oh how handsome my love is! So graceful, and pale, and dignified! Admittedly, a bit on the short side, but I don't mind. How I wait for the time he will embrace me. One day. . ." The lone cherry tree thought to itself as it pined for it's new beloved.