At Any Cost- Ch. 4- Tameth and a Lot of Hell
Jack turned into Tameth. Tameth was tall, had short cut brown hair, and nose ridges (duh, Bajoran). He was a fairly strong guy and very imposing. He was wearing sunglasses, a black base ball hat, a white tee- shirt, black pants, boots, and he was wearing an evil grin. He took off his sunglasses and looked around the room with his brown eyes, and then his gaze fell upon Janeway.
"Captain Kathryn Janeway, pleasure to meet you." Tameth smiled wickedly.
"Enin Tameth, I presume?" Janeway looked at him suspiciously. She stuck out her hand. Tameth shook it and he followed the Captain to her chair. "Your seat is over there, Tameth."
"I know I just prefer standing next to beautiful people." Tameth smiled. Everyone looked at him then at Janeway. The Captain blushed a little bit.
"Let me guess, this is why Colonel O'Neill and Mister Paris said to be careful." She asked.
"Oh don't listen to them, they're too stupid." Tameth laughed. "They think that just because they're taller and more of tough guy than me. But I'm the smarter one. Tom got so protective of this crew; he even made up rules for me to follow! But did Jack get any rules? Nope because Tom doesn't trust me all because I may have a little crush on you." Tameth pointed to Captain Janeway.
"Just to be safe, what are the rules Tom set for you?" Janeway asked, getting a little uneasy.
"Oh I don't remember much. Something about not touching the Captain at all, don't flirt with the Captain, and something about shutting-up. I do tend to talk a lot..." Tameth continued for about another five minutes and B'Elanna got a little aggregated.
"Shut-up!" She stood up. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but follow Tom's rules, I'm guessing that this is one of the reasons he set them!"
"Lieutenant Torres," Janeway stood up too and starting moving towards her, but was intercepted.
"Don't worry Captain." Tameth moved next to B'Elanna and started staring at her. "I can see why she yelled. She's half-Klingon, yelling is usually a Klingon trait. Believe me, I know. I did spend nearly twenty years around them."
"Why were you around them?" B'Elanna asked, them standing face to face.
"Tom never tells you people anything does he?" Tameth whined. "Oh well, I was a diplomat for the Bajorans. Spent twenty years with the Klingons and I'm sure Tuvok here remembers me from the U.S.S. Excelsior." Everyone stared at Tuvok.
"Mister Tameth was being transported to Earth when we engaged in battle. I do remember escorting him to his quarters." Tuvok said calmly.
"Yeah, so I spent twenty years with Klingons." Tameth said, trying to look impressing. "Who here has been to Q'onoS?" He asked looking around.
"I visited there once." B'Elanna replied. "I am half-Klingon, you know."
"That you are." Tameth said pointing to her, he moved towards the Captain. "B'Elanna, may I call you B'Elanna?"
"No." B'Elanna replied hastily.
"B'Elanna," Tameth stood in a statue pose. "Ever seen this pose for a statue?"
"Yes." B'Elanna replied. They looked at each other and B'Elanna was a bit shocked. "Do you mean to tell me that you're that Enin Tameth?"
"Yep, the one and only non-Klingon war hero named Tameth. You Klingons love me so much you made a statue out of me." Tameth sat down in the Captain's chair.
"War hero?" Harry asked a little stunned.
"Yep, pretty boy, war hero. Fought in a couple wars and was always on the winning side. Pretty good with a Bat'leth if I may say so myself." Tameth put his feet up.
"Get out of my seat." Janeway said bluntly giving Tameth a death glare.
"Actually, war heroes should be treated with a lot more respect than you give us, me included." Tameth smiled. They looked at each other for a moment. Tameth got up. "That's what I like in a woman, control. You're a very controlled person, you know."
"Is there any relevance to you being here anymore, because we would like to have Mister Paris back?" Janeway said.
"Actually, there is." Tameth decided to sit in his own chair. "Ever heard of the myth of little green men? Or that one guy that was in that television show Jack watches, damn what's it called again? Uhhh, oh yeah, Unexplained Mysteries, that's the show he watches. Ever hear the story of either the little green or gray men from Mars? Like Roswell... and other stuff like that."
"Yes." Chakotay said. No one else seemed to have heard of Roswell, but have heard of the myth of 'little green men', except Tuvok, Kes, and Neelix. Chakotay filled them in on Roswell and all these people who said the government was keeping the secret of them holding alien life in Area 51.
"Now, image that as true." Tameth smiled.
"Another joke like Colonel O'Neill did?" Neelix asked.
"No joke." He smiled a wicked grin. "Little gray men, about four feet tall with big black eyes, they're called the Asgard. Jack was the first human to meet them, he met an Asgard named Thor, but Tom decided that I should talk about them since I had a... interesting encounter with them.
The Asgard race is incredibly smart and advanced. There was once an alliance of four great races in the galaxy. These were the Asgard, the Nox, the Furlings; Jack never met them, and the Ancients, I don't remember if Jack ever met them either."
"So, you're telling us, that little gray men called the Asgard are extremely advanced, probably more than us. I find this very hard to believe. Do you have any proof?" Janeway asked sitting down in her chair.
"Not really, but I do have an unexplained mystery that I know for certain the Asgard did." Tameth said. He sat up and stood next to the monitor in the briefing room. He pushed a couple buttons and a report on a Bajoran woman came up. "This was my old girlfriend, she was a Dabo girl and I thought that since I should ask her to marry me, I told her about the Asgard." He pushed a couple more buttons and it showed a video of a hall, no monitors, no control panels, just a plain hallway. "Pay close attention to what's about to happen." He pushed the play button, the video started.
Tameth's girlfriend walked down the hallway, and then suddenly she got electrocuted. By what, it was not obvious, but what was obvious, was that she was dead. Tameth played it over and over several times. Then he stopped it.
"Notice she was electrocuted, but she wasn't anywhere near anything that could've killed her." Tameth pushed a button again and the monitor went blank. "After I found out I was whisked away in a bright white light and was onboard an Asgard ship. Let me just say, they're such small guys, but they have huge ships! I got lost, but gladly I was only there once. Thor, our good buddy, or should I say Tom's and Jack's good buddy owned the ship.
I was about to be put in front of the Asgard High Council, when I decided that I didn't want to be challenged, so I decided to make up a virus to put into their ships. It played music non-stop, still does." Janeway was a bout to say something when Tameth held his hand up. "I know what you're going to say, Captain. You're wondering why they didn't fix the virus because I said that they're a really intelligent species. Ever occurred to you that maybe we're too dumb, and they're too smart. Strangely enough, it's true. I have proof." Tameth went back to the monitor and pulled up a classified document. "It's something about Samantha Carter helping the Asgard defeats the incoming forces of their enemies, the replicators." Tameth looked around and it looked like everyone was about to burst out laughing, except for Tuvok.
"Replicators, that's this intelligent species enemy, food replicators?" Kes asked.
"Yeah, I knew all you guys would get a kick out of that." Tameth started to laugh. "No, these things are called replicators because they're little mechanical bugs that when shot with a Goa'uld weapon, burst into a lot of pieces, then rebuilds itself. But, when shot with a human weapon, you know like one of those old guns with bullets, it would take longer for them to put themselves back together. See before I died and before Dukat captured me, I was pushing for them to be named something else so they wouldn't be confused. I was thinking of their species to be called Remos or something. Tom says they should call their species Tameth so they know for sure that anything named Tameth is evil and weird. I thought-"
"Well Tameth, it's been an honor talking to you, now, if you don't mind, I prefer having Mister Paris back, so goodbye, forever." Janeway went over to Tameth.
"Oh you're not getting me away that easily, I'm-" Tameth fainted.
"What the hell?" Janeway asked bending over him. The whole senior staff was hovering over him. Kes was passing the medical tricorder over Tameth.
"I don't know what's wrong with him." Kes said. "I think we should take him to sickbay, just in case it's something serious."
"Agreed. Janeway to Transporter room one." Janeway called.
"Transporter room one here, Captain."
"Beam, Kes and..." Janeway looked around. "And the person she's touching to sickbay." Kes and Tameth were beamed away in a shiny blue light. "I don't think anyone should know about this until it is absolutely necessary. Chakotay, Tuvok, accompany me to Sickbay to see if Tameth is fine. Dismissed."
Jack turned into Tameth. Tameth was tall, had short cut brown hair, and nose ridges (duh, Bajoran). He was a fairly strong guy and very imposing. He was wearing sunglasses, a black base ball hat, a white tee- shirt, black pants, boots, and he was wearing an evil grin. He took off his sunglasses and looked around the room with his brown eyes, and then his gaze fell upon Janeway.
"Captain Kathryn Janeway, pleasure to meet you." Tameth smiled wickedly.
"Enin Tameth, I presume?" Janeway looked at him suspiciously. She stuck out her hand. Tameth shook it and he followed the Captain to her chair. "Your seat is over there, Tameth."
"I know I just prefer standing next to beautiful people." Tameth smiled. Everyone looked at him then at Janeway. The Captain blushed a little bit.
"Let me guess, this is why Colonel O'Neill and Mister Paris said to be careful." She asked.
"Oh don't listen to them, they're too stupid." Tameth laughed. "They think that just because they're taller and more of tough guy than me. But I'm the smarter one. Tom got so protective of this crew; he even made up rules for me to follow! But did Jack get any rules? Nope because Tom doesn't trust me all because I may have a little crush on you." Tameth pointed to Captain Janeway.
"Just to be safe, what are the rules Tom set for you?" Janeway asked, getting a little uneasy.
"Oh I don't remember much. Something about not touching the Captain at all, don't flirt with the Captain, and something about shutting-up. I do tend to talk a lot..." Tameth continued for about another five minutes and B'Elanna got a little aggregated.
"Shut-up!" She stood up. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but follow Tom's rules, I'm guessing that this is one of the reasons he set them!"
"Lieutenant Torres," Janeway stood up too and starting moving towards her, but was intercepted.
"Don't worry Captain." Tameth moved next to B'Elanna and started staring at her. "I can see why she yelled. She's half-Klingon, yelling is usually a Klingon trait. Believe me, I know. I did spend nearly twenty years around them."
"Why were you around them?" B'Elanna asked, them standing face to face.
"Tom never tells you people anything does he?" Tameth whined. "Oh well, I was a diplomat for the Bajorans. Spent twenty years with the Klingons and I'm sure Tuvok here remembers me from the U.S.S. Excelsior." Everyone stared at Tuvok.
"Mister Tameth was being transported to Earth when we engaged in battle. I do remember escorting him to his quarters." Tuvok said calmly.
"Yeah, so I spent twenty years with Klingons." Tameth said, trying to look impressing. "Who here has been to Q'onoS?" He asked looking around.
"I visited there once." B'Elanna replied. "I am half-Klingon, you know."
"That you are." Tameth said pointing to her, he moved towards the Captain. "B'Elanna, may I call you B'Elanna?"
"No." B'Elanna replied hastily.
"B'Elanna," Tameth stood in a statue pose. "Ever seen this pose for a statue?"
"Yes." B'Elanna replied. They looked at each other and B'Elanna was a bit shocked. "Do you mean to tell me that you're that Enin Tameth?"
"Yep, the one and only non-Klingon war hero named Tameth. You Klingons love me so much you made a statue out of me." Tameth sat down in the Captain's chair.
"War hero?" Harry asked a little stunned.
"Yep, pretty boy, war hero. Fought in a couple wars and was always on the winning side. Pretty good with a Bat'leth if I may say so myself." Tameth put his feet up.
"Get out of my seat." Janeway said bluntly giving Tameth a death glare.
"Actually, war heroes should be treated with a lot more respect than you give us, me included." Tameth smiled. They looked at each other for a moment. Tameth got up. "That's what I like in a woman, control. You're a very controlled person, you know."
"Is there any relevance to you being here anymore, because we would like to have Mister Paris back?" Janeway said.
"Actually, there is." Tameth decided to sit in his own chair. "Ever heard of the myth of little green men? Or that one guy that was in that television show Jack watches, damn what's it called again? Uhhh, oh yeah, Unexplained Mysteries, that's the show he watches. Ever hear the story of either the little green or gray men from Mars? Like Roswell... and other stuff like that."
"Yes." Chakotay said. No one else seemed to have heard of Roswell, but have heard of the myth of 'little green men', except Tuvok, Kes, and Neelix. Chakotay filled them in on Roswell and all these people who said the government was keeping the secret of them holding alien life in Area 51.
"Now, image that as true." Tameth smiled.
"Another joke like Colonel O'Neill did?" Neelix asked.
"No joke." He smiled a wicked grin. "Little gray men, about four feet tall with big black eyes, they're called the Asgard. Jack was the first human to meet them, he met an Asgard named Thor, but Tom decided that I should talk about them since I had a... interesting encounter with them.
The Asgard race is incredibly smart and advanced. There was once an alliance of four great races in the galaxy. These were the Asgard, the Nox, the Furlings; Jack never met them, and the Ancients, I don't remember if Jack ever met them either."
"So, you're telling us, that little gray men called the Asgard are extremely advanced, probably more than us. I find this very hard to believe. Do you have any proof?" Janeway asked sitting down in her chair.
"Not really, but I do have an unexplained mystery that I know for certain the Asgard did." Tameth said. He sat up and stood next to the monitor in the briefing room. He pushed a couple buttons and a report on a Bajoran woman came up. "This was my old girlfriend, she was a Dabo girl and I thought that since I should ask her to marry me, I told her about the Asgard." He pushed a couple more buttons and it showed a video of a hall, no monitors, no control panels, just a plain hallway. "Pay close attention to what's about to happen." He pushed the play button, the video started.
Tameth's girlfriend walked down the hallway, and then suddenly she got electrocuted. By what, it was not obvious, but what was obvious, was that she was dead. Tameth played it over and over several times. Then he stopped it.
"Notice she was electrocuted, but she wasn't anywhere near anything that could've killed her." Tameth pushed a button again and the monitor went blank. "After I found out I was whisked away in a bright white light and was onboard an Asgard ship. Let me just say, they're such small guys, but they have huge ships! I got lost, but gladly I was only there once. Thor, our good buddy, or should I say Tom's and Jack's good buddy owned the ship.
I was about to be put in front of the Asgard High Council, when I decided that I didn't want to be challenged, so I decided to make up a virus to put into their ships. It played music non-stop, still does." Janeway was a bout to say something when Tameth held his hand up. "I know what you're going to say, Captain. You're wondering why they didn't fix the virus because I said that they're a really intelligent species. Ever occurred to you that maybe we're too dumb, and they're too smart. Strangely enough, it's true. I have proof." Tameth went back to the monitor and pulled up a classified document. "It's something about Samantha Carter helping the Asgard defeats the incoming forces of their enemies, the replicators." Tameth looked around and it looked like everyone was about to burst out laughing, except for Tuvok.
"Replicators, that's this intelligent species enemy, food replicators?" Kes asked.
"Yeah, I knew all you guys would get a kick out of that." Tameth started to laugh. "No, these things are called replicators because they're little mechanical bugs that when shot with a Goa'uld weapon, burst into a lot of pieces, then rebuilds itself. But, when shot with a human weapon, you know like one of those old guns with bullets, it would take longer for them to put themselves back together. See before I died and before Dukat captured me, I was pushing for them to be named something else so they wouldn't be confused. I was thinking of their species to be called Remos or something. Tom says they should call their species Tameth so they know for sure that anything named Tameth is evil and weird. I thought-"
"Well Tameth, it's been an honor talking to you, now, if you don't mind, I prefer having Mister Paris back, so goodbye, forever." Janeway went over to Tameth.
"Oh you're not getting me away that easily, I'm-" Tameth fainted.
"What the hell?" Janeway asked bending over him. The whole senior staff was hovering over him. Kes was passing the medical tricorder over Tameth.
"I don't know what's wrong with him." Kes said. "I think we should take him to sickbay, just in case it's something serious."
"Agreed. Janeway to Transporter room one." Janeway called.
"Transporter room one here, Captain."
"Beam, Kes and..." Janeway looked around. "And the person she's touching to sickbay." Kes and Tameth were beamed away in a shiny blue light. "I don't think anyone should know about this until it is absolutely necessary. Chakotay, Tuvok, accompany me to Sickbay to see if Tameth is fine. Dismissed."