Disclaimer: Much as I'd like to, I don't own Draco Malfoy, or any part of the magical world that J.K. Rowling has all the copyrights to ... please don't sue me. There are some parts of this story that are quotes from the book - it can't be helped - events are the same as in the book, but Draco's opinion of these events may vary from Harry's.
Author's Notes: *singing* Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa lalala la, lala la la, 'tis the season to be jolly, fa lalala la, lala la la, don we now our gay apparel, fa lala fa lala la la la, sing the season's Yuletide carol fa lalala la, lala la laa! *stops singing, thankfully* Season's Greetings, everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter - it's your Yuletide present from me ... so's the next one, which'll be up tomorrow.
And here's another present for you all!!! I now have a Yahoo!group with Draco Malfoy's Point of View on it - it's a multi-purpose group, for both discussion on my fic, and discussion on how best to murder Dolores Umbridge (mostly the latter, but it was dying, so I decided to add my fic to it in the hope of reviving it) - if you want to discuss my fanfic, or even better if you want to plot the demise of Umbitch, do please go look at it - it can be found here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AU_League/
Oh, I should mention that the present Pansy gives Draco is something I have (Melora Maxwell can testify to that if you want).
kraeg001: I didn't think that was how you spelled the Jewish holiday (although I'd never dare try to spell it myself). You can get that song on any music-trading program you might have (I got it on winMX), if you wanna hear it.
Elliy: Thank you *bows* thank you. I got the song on winMX ... if you want, I could send you an email of it? Since your put your email address in the review, and all.
Devi: What sort of 'different thought'? If it's too rude to put in a review, email me ... although I've got a guess, anyway *evil grin*. I made up that version of Jingle Bells - I based it on the Batman version (Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg, the Batmobile lost its wheel and the Joker got away) the one in this chapter is based on the slightly ruder version a friend of mine told me, which continues into the chorus (Batman in the kitchen, Robin in the hall, Joker in the bathroom, peeing on the wall). *grins* as for Mount Splashmore - I was having trouble coming up with a fictitious theme park, and then I remembered that episode of the Simpsons I'd seen ages ago (one of my favourite eps, really). When Draco called them the "Terrific Trio" it was with MUCH sarcasm. That wand may or may not come up in future episodes of my fic ... all depends on book 6, and how my Voldemort interacts with my Draco when they meet (I know when that'll be, but I ain't sayin') - my characters don't do as I tell them, so I'm lost till I throw them into a room together - it's almost like Sims, except with more complex personalities and histories, and without the cool interior-design features. Draco's thing about women's underwear - specifically bask, stockings and suspenders, a la Rocky Horror - is that he thinks it's pointless, not attractive in any way, and though he's never tried it, probably bloody uncomfortable ... therefore it's the ultimate humiliation/torture to make straight guys dress like this in public locations ... Theo ain't exactly straight/sane, so it didn't bother him. My Draco is not gay ... not homophobic, but not gay ... he might (I emphasise MIGHT) experiment when he's older, but that depends on my mood, book 6, and Theo's orientation - Theo doesn't know which gender he prefers yet. No, I've not seen the puppet whatsits. That was a bloody long review-response, wasn't it?
jinjo: I hate Rita Skeeter too. This chapter and the next one are my actually Christmas chapters - that last one was a lead-up-to-Christmas chapter.
angelkas: I'm not looking forward to Christmas at all, either. Pansy isn't meant to be likable, the way I write her ... but Draco has ceased to loathe her hyperactive-pixie-ish attitude. The drawing was just of Donald Duck, so the purebloods would know what his face looks like - the "Beast" was left to the imagination.
Lolua: Thank you. I felt someone had to come up with what sort of songs Peeves had been singing - JKR only said that they were "very rude" - and since I'd not found it on any other fic, I decided it was up to me. Draco didn't recognise that that was a real song, but he was aware that Peeves had stolen several of his songs from Muggles. Theo didn't forget his Christmas at the Malfoys - he just chose to repress the part of it involving Lucius' cane (I mean consciously chose to repress it, which is not how that sort of thing usually works, so I've heard).
Bob: "Blaise, can I borrow some of your underwear?" "Why the -? No, I don't want to ask, do I?" "Not really." "Just tell me who's going to be wearing it." "Me." "You're insane." "Yes, I am - thank you." "Here, I never wear these anyway - keep them. Merry Christmas." "Thanks." ... does that answer your first question? And it was a bask, stockings, suspenders, and panties, much like Frank N Furter wears in Rocky Horror. I hate the commercialised aspect of Christmas, and usually am a "Bah Humbug" type ... this year I have come down with a bad case of Christmas Spirit, though - it's contagious, you know. Draco will have a good Christmas eventually, probably in 6th or 7th year (I'm planning a sort-of-trilogy of Bah Humbug chapters - one guess what I'm calling the third ... and the Bah Humbugness of part three will be pitiful, much as the storyline of part three their namesake was even more pitiful). And yes, I've seen the trailers for PoA.
Exodia Himself: He knows Krum wants to invite her, not that she'll say yes.
Sinical-Sarchasm: Is Theo too extreme? My holiday season so far involves wearing a hat that says Bah Humbug, and wrapping and giving presents to friends I've not seen half the year - yawn. But I do plan to scare small children on Christmas Eve, so that's fun.
Elizabeth: Well, Theo is at least as bad as the twins, in a different way - what do you expect of him, normality?
Hrei-siesn: *bows* thank you.
Akuma-sama: I borrowed (swiped) that song from Kevin Bloody Wilson, actually - it's not mine! She's not scared of Donald Duck - she's scared of the "Beast who has the body of a wolf, the tail of a lion, and the face ... of Donald Duck". *giggles at the trip to Disneyland idea* that's priceless ... but I'm not gonna use it, sorry. Thank you - glad you liked ^_-
"So they're dealing with it the only way they know how ... Aftershock Party." "This from the dorm that brought us the Somebody Sneezed Party, and the Day That Ends In Y Party." -BtVS
Chapter 19 - Bah Humbug (Reloaded)
"Wakie wakie, rise and shine, MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Theo shouted.
"Bugger off." I grumbled, sitting up and pouncing on the pile of presents, purely so as to save the inevitable sweets and chocolates from being found by Crabbe and Goyle.
Theo sniggered evilly, "I'd rather not. Besides, don't you want to enjoy the wondrous holiday that is Christmas, Draco?"
"Go to hell." I growled, shoving the presents in my trunk and locking it, not bothering to look to see what I'd got.
Theo just grinned, "Hey, I got the bouncing inkpot I asked for." he said, throwing what looked like a regular glass ink bottle at the wall ... it bounced.
I blinked, "You have strange tastes." I noted.
"Yeah ... but you gotta admit it's useful." Theo said, grinning.
I shook my head and tried to hide under the bedsheets again ... Theo was having none of it, though, as he levitated the blankets off me, "Hey!" I yelled, glaring.
"What?" Theo asked, defensively.
"Am I not going to be allowed to sleep?" I asked coldly.
"Nope. Not a chance." Theo said cheerfully.
"I'm going to hurt you." I growled.
* * *
As we went up to the Great Hall for breakfast, Peeves flew past, singing his variation of Jingle Bells ... then spotted me, and stopped, "Hey, you liked my song, didn'tya?" he asked, hovering upside down so his face was level with mine.
"Yes." I said warily.
"Well, I got a new verse I made up 'specially for you." Peeves said, grinning evilly.
"Um ... thanks ... but no thanks." I said - every time Peeves has ever done anything for anyone, it's been to torment them.
"Aww, just lemme sing it for ya." Peeves asked, almost nicely.
I sighed, "I'm going to regret this ..."
"Oh! Jingle bells, the Dark Lord smells, a million miles away! He stinks a lot, he smells of rot, and that on a good day! Oh! Snape kissing his feet, Nott licking the floor, Malfoy on his knees, now, need I say anymore?"
I growled, glaring at him, and clenching my fists, wishing I could strangle him, "If you weren't already dead, Peeves ..." I said threateningly.
"But I am ... so whatcha gonna do?" he asked cheerfully.
"I'm going to tell the Baron you're insulting the Head Teacher of Slytherin house."
"Huh?" Peeves asked, obviously not even noticing he'd said Snape's name in the song too.
"Snape." I said, as if 'duh'.
Peeves frowned, "Ruin my fun, why don't you."
"Make up a rude song about Potter, why don't you?" I replied.
"I might just do that ... what should I sing it to? Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - Potter the Scar-Head Gryffindor ... yeah." he floated off, plotting. Memo to me, find out how to maim poltergeists.
* * *
At breakfast (which I got to just as Potter and his 'friends' were leaving), Pansy sat down next to me, "Hey, Draco. Merry Christmas." she said cheerfully, and she put something that felt like a hat, but I didn't see it, on my head.
"Pansy! What did I ever do to you to deserve having my hair messed up?!" I asked angrily, removing the offending item ... then looking at it carefully. It was a black Santa-hat, with off-white trim, and the words 'BAH HUMBUG' across the white part, in black letters. I considered it for a moment, then carefully put it back on, "Thanks."
"You changed your opinion of that Christmas present quite easily, Draco deary." Pansy said, smiling.
"My opinion may have changed, but not the fact that I am right." I said, proceeding to eat my breakfast, while Pansy started giggling. I was planning to continue wearing that hat all day - several other students were wearing festively coloured hats, tinsel in their hair, and even a few people had hair-bands with false antlers attached - I thought the hat Pansy was appropriate for me.
* * *
After breakfast, Wednesday grabbed me and started all-but-dragging me across the ground towards the lake. "What the hell?" I asked.
"I was talking to Theodore the other night. He told me a few things about you, and I felt like helping."
"Huh?"
"Trust me." Wednesday said before leading me onto the Durmstrang ship.
"Am I even allowed on board here?" I asked quietly.
"No." she said in an almost cheerful voice, "But no one knows you know that."
"Oh."
She led me down some steps into a corridor, and took the third door on the left. It was a large cabin with five beds in it, much like a nautical theme on the Hogwarts dorms. She led me over to one of the beds and let go of my hand, kneeling to root through the trunk at the foot of the bed. "I stole these from Karkaroff, but he stole them from the Hogwarts Library, so it's like they're coming home really, isn't it?" she said taking out a book and handing it to me, "Merry Christmas."
"What is it?" I asked, looking at the title; 'Aardvark to Zebra; a Guide to Transfiguration'.
"It's a really rare book on Transfiguration." Wednesday said proudly.
"Why is it rare?" I asked sceptically.
"It's a living book, dummy." Wednesday said as if it should have been obvious from the mundane blue leather cover.
I dropped it on the floor and backed away from it, "I don't like living books." I said quietly.
"It's perfectly safe, really." Wednesday said, picking up the book again, as if it was a puppy I'd just kicked.
"Yeah, right."
"Seriously. It's not like it's cursed, demonic, or carrying someone's soul in it. Sheesh, you're paranoid." she said, shoving the book at me, "There's a whole series of them, one for every subject." she elaborated, "Rowena Ravenclaw and Salazar Slytherin themselves wrote these ... the best one is this." she took out another book - this one was bound in dark purple leather, and it was titled 'The Dark Magic Lexicon'. "There's a rumour Slytherin wrote one teaching Parseltongue, but that's just a stupid rumour."
"No it's not - I had that one." I said quietly.
"Oh, well here, you can have this as well ... can I borrow the Parseltongue book some time?"
"Sorry, Father took it off me last summer." I said, shrugging.
She also shrugged, "No matter. I've finished with these anyway ... the Dark Arts book doesn't like me, and I'm bored with the Transfiguration one. You ought to go now, before anyone walks in and thinks you're here for other reasons."
I blinked and nodded, "How do I get out again?"
"I'll show you." Wednesday said and, taking my hand, she led me off the ship. "Have fun." she said, waving as she vanished back onto the ship, leaving me standing at the shore of the lake with two probably-illegal books. I quickly made my way back to the dorm, and stashed them with my other unopened presents, to investigate later.
* * *
I, unfortunately, spent the rest of the day in the company of Crabbe, Goyle, Theo and Luna ... I had no fun. Although, Theo did like, and try to steal, the hat.
The girls had all (except Luna) vanished almost immediately after lunch, to get ready for the Ball.
"Why do they need six hours to get ready?" I asked.
"Pansy needs that much make-up?" Theo suggested.
I hit him. "Watch it, that's my date you're talking about."
"Well, I'm just saying ... maybe they're sewing the dresses from scratch and making their own make up with a junior potions kit?"
"I actually don't care. Really, I don't ... as long as Pansy doesn't decide to bathe in dragon dung before the Ball, I'll be fine." I said.
"What about Hippogriff dung?" Theo asked.
I hit him again. "You know damned well what I meant." I snapped.
"Aww, c'mon, Draco ... Christmas isn't that bad." Theo said, changing the subject.
"Yes it is." I growled.
"Wanna know a bit of trivial information?" Theo offered.
"What?" I asked snappishly.
"Santa Claus was a Slytherin." Theo said smirking.
"Yeah right ... why the hell does he wear red, then?" I asked coldly.
"Oh, that was some Muggle soft-drinks company's fault ... they showed him wearing their company colours instead of what he really wears, and he was rumoured to be most upset that everyone took to that image immediately." Theo said knowingly.
"Which Muggle company?" I asked, now more curious than cold.
"Coca Cola."
"And what does he really wear?"
"Green with silver trim, definitely not red with white trim."
"Makes sense, in a twisted sort of way ... but I still don't like Christmas." I noted.
* * *
Half an hour before the Ball was due to start, Theo, Crabbe, Goyle, and I returned to our dorm to get changed.
"No, no, a thousand times no!" I yelled, "What idiot packed THIS?!"
"What?" Theo asked.
I held up the crappy family dress robes I'd been forced to wear last Christmas. Theo sniggered.
"It's not bloody funny!" I snapped.
"How's it not?" Theo asked.
"Because I am not wearing this ... no way in hell. Not in a million years." I said, shaking my head. Especially not after I'd spent so much energy into laughing at Weasley's dress robes which wasn't that much worse - at least the same amount of lace - shudder.
"Um, what are you gonna wear, then, Draco? Your Quidditch robes?" Theo asked jokingly.
"Anything but this." I muttered, then proceeded to sulk.
Five minutes passed, during which the other three boys got dressed and ignored me. Crabbe and Goyle were wearing moss-green dress robes that matched each other a little too well. Theo, meanwhile, was wearing bright acid green, a similar colour to Skeeter's Dicta-Quill, with black cobweb designs around the hems and sleeves.
Then the familiar whip-crack noise of a house-elf's Apparating spell sounded through the room, and I looked up to see my favourite black velvet dress robes sitting on my bed with a scrawled note on them, which read, 'Master Draco, sir. Is these any better? Dobby.' I'd had these robes since I was ten, and I'd refused to get rid of them, so my mother had had Madam Malkin cast an enlargement charm on them so they still fit me.
"What the -?" Theo asked.
"House elf ... long story ... don't ask." I said, smiling, and starting to get changed into the decent dress robes (finally removing the 'BAH HUMBUG' hat).
"They're better than the lace-nightmare, but really, that collar looks a bit ... conservative." Theo said, evaluatingly, as I brushed my hair.
"It looks fine." I said coldly.
"Since when was your hair that long?" Theo asked.
"Since I grew it." I said flatly, tying my hair back - the front strands of my hair only just caught in the hair tie at the nape of my neck ... and really, this would be the first time in ages I'd go out in public without gel in my hair.
"Aren't you gonna wear some of that nancy-boy hair gel you love so much?" Theo asked, as if he'd known what I'd been thinking.
"No. And on the subject of hair-gel, you're one to talk, captain peroxide." I said coldly.
"That grew out a year ago!" Theo whined, "And it wasn't peroxide - it was darker than yours."
"At least mine's natural." I growled.
"Dumb blonde."
"Fashion-victim."
"You realise this sort of argument is gonna make people think we're gay." Theo noted.
"Shut the hell up." I growled.
I don't know what Crabbe and Goyle thought was so funny about that ... but they were sniggering stupidly.
"Who are you two going to the Ball with, anyway?" Theo asked.
"Each other." Goyle answered.
I stared for a minute, "Please tell me you're joking." I said slowly.
"No joke." Crabbe replied.
"Oh ... my ... god." Theo muttered.
I shook my head, "Bad mental pictures." I muttered.
When we got out to the common room, the fourth-year girls were all clustered together in a corner ... considering we were the youngest students going to the Ball, we were practically being ignored by the older students.
"Hey, Draco!" Pansy squealed, rushing over to me as soon as I appeared, "You look gorgeous." she said chirpily.
"Thanks. You look ... pink." I said, looking at the too-frilly pastel pink robes she was wearing ... the pastel pink lip-gloss, and too-much blusher on her face didn't help the image.
Pansy pouted, "Is that all you can say?" she asked.
"Well ... I don't like the colour ... but other than that, you look really good." I said diplomatically.
She continued to pout.
"Pansy, you look fine. Really. I'm just not the world's biggest fan of pink." I said.
She sighed, "All right, then. Oh, are those your favourite dress robes? You wore those to my last what - four birthday parties." she said, smirking.
"I like them." I said, shrugging.
"They do look good on you." she said, nodding. I smiled. "And your hair! You look so much better without gel in it." she reached up to touch my hair.
"Don't touch." I said quickly.
"Why not?" she asked, pouting again.
"Because ... I don't want you to mess up my hair before everyone gets to see me." I said.
"You are vain." she said, smirking.
"I know."
"Oh, Theo, you look - erm - different." Cat said, as she and Blaise appeared beside Pansy. Cat was wearing lightweight floaty deep-purple robes. Blaise was wearing heavier silver robes, and her hair was tied back in a bun with a matching hair tie. Both girls had obviously put a lot of effort into their makeup.
"Thanks. I'm going for the 'insane' look." Theo said.
"You pull that off at the best of times." Blaise said, smiling.
* * *
We walked up to the Entrance Hall together, Pansy clinging unnecessarily to my arm, as if I were going to abandon her at my first opportunity ... honestly, I had no one better to meet - I had no reason to abandon her.
Theo was talking to Blaise, animatedly, about methods of assassination for Blast-Ended Skrewts ... Cat was nowhere to be seen - she'd said she had to wait for her date ... Milli was looking around, as if trying to spot her date ... and Crabbe and Goyle were looking stupid.
The Entrance Hall was packed, although I did spot several people I recognised. Samantha and Carrie were holding court with two other Ravenclaw girls and five boys, from the Hufflepuff Quidditch team ... that math doesn't work out - I know that - but it's what I saw. The rest of the non-Slytherin sixth years, and several fifth years, were circled around the Weasley twins, who were showing off some sort of trick or other ... I didn't pay attention to what, though. And Potter and his pet Weasley had got (probably begged) the Patil twins as their dates. Weaslette was with Longbottom.
Theo had vanished, most likely to find Luna. Blaise had made her way over to an older Ravenclaw boy who I recognised as one of the Beaters on their Quidditch team. Milli was talking to a Hufflepuff fifth year boy. Crabbe and Goyle were looking stupid, and if I didn't (unfortunately) know better, I'd think they hadn't got dates.
Then the main doors opened to admit the Durmstrang students. Krum was in the lead, with a particularly gorgeous girl in light blue robes, who I didn't recognise at this distance. Next, I saw Ivonava and another Durmstrang boy who I hadn't spoken to. Then Wednesday, who was alone, and looked like she was proud of that fact. Three more couples, only one of whom had a Hogwarts partner, and none were with Beauxbatons students. And at the very end of the line, Poliakoff, with a young-looking Beauxbatons girl - one of the girls who had cried when she hadn't been chosen as a champion.
Cat appeared behind me, with the Slytherin Mudblood - she scowling, while he was wearing black and a confused expression. "Draco. Don't." Cat said simply.
"Don't what?" I asked, confused.
"Do something stupid. I know you're going to." Cat replied.
"Huh?" I asked, still confused.
"Trust me - just don't."
"I don't know what you're talking about." I said defensively.
"You'll just make a fool of yourself if any Gryffindors see you." Cat said as if I knew what she meant.
"I have no clue what you're on about." I growled.
"Champions over here, please!" McGonagall called out over the chattering crowd.
* * *
End of chapter 19
Author's Notes: *singing* Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa lalala la, lala la la, 'tis the season to be jolly, fa lalala la, lala la la, don we now our gay apparel, fa lala fa lala la la la, sing the season's Yuletide carol fa lalala la, lala la laa! *stops singing, thankfully* Season's Greetings, everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter - it's your Yuletide present from me ... so's the next one, which'll be up tomorrow.
And here's another present for you all!!! I now have a Yahoo!group with Draco Malfoy's Point of View on it - it's a multi-purpose group, for both discussion on my fic, and discussion on how best to murder Dolores Umbridge (mostly the latter, but it was dying, so I decided to add my fic to it in the hope of reviving it) - if you want to discuss my fanfic, or even better if you want to plot the demise of Umbitch, do please go look at it - it can be found here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AU_League/
Oh, I should mention that the present Pansy gives Draco is something I have (Melora Maxwell can testify to that if you want).
kraeg001: I didn't think that was how you spelled the Jewish holiday (although I'd never dare try to spell it myself). You can get that song on any music-trading program you might have (I got it on winMX), if you wanna hear it.
Elliy: Thank you *bows* thank you. I got the song on winMX ... if you want, I could send you an email of it? Since your put your email address in the review, and all.
Devi: What sort of 'different thought'? If it's too rude to put in a review, email me ... although I've got a guess, anyway *evil grin*. I made up that version of Jingle Bells - I based it on the Batman version (Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg, the Batmobile lost its wheel and the Joker got away) the one in this chapter is based on the slightly ruder version a friend of mine told me, which continues into the chorus (Batman in the kitchen, Robin in the hall, Joker in the bathroom, peeing on the wall). *grins* as for Mount Splashmore - I was having trouble coming up with a fictitious theme park, and then I remembered that episode of the Simpsons I'd seen ages ago (one of my favourite eps, really). When Draco called them the "Terrific Trio" it was with MUCH sarcasm. That wand may or may not come up in future episodes of my fic ... all depends on book 6, and how my Voldemort interacts with my Draco when they meet (I know when that'll be, but I ain't sayin') - my characters don't do as I tell them, so I'm lost till I throw them into a room together - it's almost like Sims, except with more complex personalities and histories, and without the cool interior-design features. Draco's thing about women's underwear - specifically bask, stockings and suspenders, a la Rocky Horror - is that he thinks it's pointless, not attractive in any way, and though he's never tried it, probably bloody uncomfortable ... therefore it's the ultimate humiliation/torture to make straight guys dress like this in public locations ... Theo ain't exactly straight/sane, so it didn't bother him. My Draco is not gay ... not homophobic, but not gay ... he might (I emphasise MIGHT) experiment when he's older, but that depends on my mood, book 6, and Theo's orientation - Theo doesn't know which gender he prefers yet. No, I've not seen the puppet whatsits. That was a bloody long review-response, wasn't it?
jinjo: I hate Rita Skeeter too. This chapter and the next one are my actually Christmas chapters - that last one was a lead-up-to-Christmas chapter.
angelkas: I'm not looking forward to Christmas at all, either. Pansy isn't meant to be likable, the way I write her ... but Draco has ceased to loathe her hyperactive-pixie-ish attitude. The drawing was just of Donald Duck, so the purebloods would know what his face looks like - the "Beast" was left to the imagination.
Lolua: Thank you. I felt someone had to come up with what sort of songs Peeves had been singing - JKR only said that they were "very rude" - and since I'd not found it on any other fic, I decided it was up to me. Draco didn't recognise that that was a real song, but he was aware that Peeves had stolen several of his songs from Muggles. Theo didn't forget his Christmas at the Malfoys - he just chose to repress the part of it involving Lucius' cane (I mean consciously chose to repress it, which is not how that sort of thing usually works, so I've heard).
Bob: "Blaise, can I borrow some of your underwear?" "Why the -? No, I don't want to ask, do I?" "Not really." "Just tell me who's going to be wearing it." "Me." "You're insane." "Yes, I am - thank you." "Here, I never wear these anyway - keep them. Merry Christmas." "Thanks." ... does that answer your first question? And it was a bask, stockings, suspenders, and panties, much like Frank N Furter wears in Rocky Horror. I hate the commercialised aspect of Christmas, and usually am a "Bah Humbug" type ... this year I have come down with a bad case of Christmas Spirit, though - it's contagious, you know. Draco will have a good Christmas eventually, probably in 6th or 7th year (I'm planning a sort-of-trilogy of Bah Humbug chapters - one guess what I'm calling the third ... and the Bah Humbugness of part three will be pitiful, much as the storyline of part three their namesake was even more pitiful). And yes, I've seen the trailers for PoA.
Exodia Himself: He knows Krum wants to invite her, not that she'll say yes.
Sinical-Sarchasm: Is Theo too extreme? My holiday season so far involves wearing a hat that says Bah Humbug, and wrapping and giving presents to friends I've not seen half the year - yawn. But I do plan to scare small children on Christmas Eve, so that's fun.
Elizabeth: Well, Theo is at least as bad as the twins, in a different way - what do you expect of him, normality?
Hrei-siesn: *bows* thank you.
Akuma-sama: I borrowed (swiped) that song from Kevin Bloody Wilson, actually - it's not mine! She's not scared of Donald Duck - she's scared of the "Beast who has the body of a wolf, the tail of a lion, and the face ... of Donald Duck". *giggles at the trip to Disneyland idea* that's priceless ... but I'm not gonna use it, sorry. Thank you - glad you liked ^_-
"So they're dealing with it the only way they know how ... Aftershock Party." "This from the dorm that brought us the Somebody Sneezed Party, and the Day That Ends In Y Party." -BtVS
Chapter 19 - Bah Humbug (Reloaded)
"Wakie wakie, rise and shine, MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Theo shouted.
"Bugger off." I grumbled, sitting up and pouncing on the pile of presents, purely so as to save the inevitable sweets and chocolates from being found by Crabbe and Goyle.
Theo sniggered evilly, "I'd rather not. Besides, don't you want to enjoy the wondrous holiday that is Christmas, Draco?"
"Go to hell." I growled, shoving the presents in my trunk and locking it, not bothering to look to see what I'd got.
Theo just grinned, "Hey, I got the bouncing inkpot I asked for." he said, throwing what looked like a regular glass ink bottle at the wall ... it bounced.
I blinked, "You have strange tastes." I noted.
"Yeah ... but you gotta admit it's useful." Theo said, grinning.
I shook my head and tried to hide under the bedsheets again ... Theo was having none of it, though, as he levitated the blankets off me, "Hey!" I yelled, glaring.
"What?" Theo asked, defensively.
"Am I not going to be allowed to sleep?" I asked coldly.
"Nope. Not a chance." Theo said cheerfully.
"I'm going to hurt you." I growled.
* * *
As we went up to the Great Hall for breakfast, Peeves flew past, singing his variation of Jingle Bells ... then spotted me, and stopped, "Hey, you liked my song, didn'tya?" he asked, hovering upside down so his face was level with mine.
"Yes." I said warily.
"Well, I got a new verse I made up 'specially for you." Peeves said, grinning evilly.
"Um ... thanks ... but no thanks." I said - every time Peeves has ever done anything for anyone, it's been to torment them.
"Aww, just lemme sing it for ya." Peeves asked, almost nicely.
I sighed, "I'm going to regret this ..."
"Oh! Jingle bells, the Dark Lord smells, a million miles away! He stinks a lot, he smells of rot, and that on a good day! Oh! Snape kissing his feet, Nott licking the floor, Malfoy on his knees, now, need I say anymore?"
I growled, glaring at him, and clenching my fists, wishing I could strangle him, "If you weren't already dead, Peeves ..." I said threateningly.
"But I am ... so whatcha gonna do?" he asked cheerfully.
"I'm going to tell the Baron you're insulting the Head Teacher of Slytherin house."
"Huh?" Peeves asked, obviously not even noticing he'd said Snape's name in the song too.
"Snape." I said, as if 'duh'.
Peeves frowned, "Ruin my fun, why don't you."
"Make up a rude song about Potter, why don't you?" I replied.
"I might just do that ... what should I sing it to? Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - Potter the Scar-Head Gryffindor ... yeah." he floated off, plotting. Memo to me, find out how to maim poltergeists.
* * *
At breakfast (which I got to just as Potter and his 'friends' were leaving), Pansy sat down next to me, "Hey, Draco. Merry Christmas." she said cheerfully, and she put something that felt like a hat, but I didn't see it, on my head.
"Pansy! What did I ever do to you to deserve having my hair messed up?!" I asked angrily, removing the offending item ... then looking at it carefully. It was a black Santa-hat, with off-white trim, and the words 'BAH HUMBUG' across the white part, in black letters. I considered it for a moment, then carefully put it back on, "Thanks."
"You changed your opinion of that Christmas present quite easily, Draco deary." Pansy said, smiling.
"My opinion may have changed, but not the fact that I am right." I said, proceeding to eat my breakfast, while Pansy started giggling. I was planning to continue wearing that hat all day - several other students were wearing festively coloured hats, tinsel in their hair, and even a few people had hair-bands with false antlers attached - I thought the hat Pansy was appropriate for me.
* * *
After breakfast, Wednesday grabbed me and started all-but-dragging me across the ground towards the lake. "What the hell?" I asked.
"I was talking to Theodore the other night. He told me a few things about you, and I felt like helping."
"Huh?"
"Trust me." Wednesday said before leading me onto the Durmstrang ship.
"Am I even allowed on board here?" I asked quietly.
"No." she said in an almost cheerful voice, "But no one knows you know that."
"Oh."
She led me down some steps into a corridor, and took the third door on the left. It was a large cabin with five beds in it, much like a nautical theme on the Hogwarts dorms. She led me over to one of the beds and let go of my hand, kneeling to root through the trunk at the foot of the bed. "I stole these from Karkaroff, but he stole them from the Hogwarts Library, so it's like they're coming home really, isn't it?" she said taking out a book and handing it to me, "Merry Christmas."
"What is it?" I asked, looking at the title; 'Aardvark to Zebra; a Guide to Transfiguration'.
"It's a really rare book on Transfiguration." Wednesday said proudly.
"Why is it rare?" I asked sceptically.
"It's a living book, dummy." Wednesday said as if it should have been obvious from the mundane blue leather cover.
I dropped it on the floor and backed away from it, "I don't like living books." I said quietly.
"It's perfectly safe, really." Wednesday said, picking up the book again, as if it was a puppy I'd just kicked.
"Yeah, right."
"Seriously. It's not like it's cursed, demonic, or carrying someone's soul in it. Sheesh, you're paranoid." she said, shoving the book at me, "There's a whole series of them, one for every subject." she elaborated, "Rowena Ravenclaw and Salazar Slytherin themselves wrote these ... the best one is this." she took out another book - this one was bound in dark purple leather, and it was titled 'The Dark Magic Lexicon'. "There's a rumour Slytherin wrote one teaching Parseltongue, but that's just a stupid rumour."
"No it's not - I had that one." I said quietly.
"Oh, well here, you can have this as well ... can I borrow the Parseltongue book some time?"
"Sorry, Father took it off me last summer." I said, shrugging.
She also shrugged, "No matter. I've finished with these anyway ... the Dark Arts book doesn't like me, and I'm bored with the Transfiguration one. You ought to go now, before anyone walks in and thinks you're here for other reasons."
I blinked and nodded, "How do I get out again?"
"I'll show you." Wednesday said and, taking my hand, she led me off the ship. "Have fun." she said, waving as she vanished back onto the ship, leaving me standing at the shore of the lake with two probably-illegal books. I quickly made my way back to the dorm, and stashed them with my other unopened presents, to investigate later.
* * *
I, unfortunately, spent the rest of the day in the company of Crabbe, Goyle, Theo and Luna ... I had no fun. Although, Theo did like, and try to steal, the hat.
The girls had all (except Luna) vanished almost immediately after lunch, to get ready for the Ball.
"Why do they need six hours to get ready?" I asked.
"Pansy needs that much make-up?" Theo suggested.
I hit him. "Watch it, that's my date you're talking about."
"Well, I'm just saying ... maybe they're sewing the dresses from scratch and making their own make up with a junior potions kit?"
"I actually don't care. Really, I don't ... as long as Pansy doesn't decide to bathe in dragon dung before the Ball, I'll be fine." I said.
"What about Hippogriff dung?" Theo asked.
I hit him again. "You know damned well what I meant." I snapped.
"Aww, c'mon, Draco ... Christmas isn't that bad." Theo said, changing the subject.
"Yes it is." I growled.
"Wanna know a bit of trivial information?" Theo offered.
"What?" I asked snappishly.
"Santa Claus was a Slytherin." Theo said smirking.
"Yeah right ... why the hell does he wear red, then?" I asked coldly.
"Oh, that was some Muggle soft-drinks company's fault ... they showed him wearing their company colours instead of what he really wears, and he was rumoured to be most upset that everyone took to that image immediately." Theo said knowingly.
"Which Muggle company?" I asked, now more curious than cold.
"Coca Cola."
"And what does he really wear?"
"Green with silver trim, definitely not red with white trim."
"Makes sense, in a twisted sort of way ... but I still don't like Christmas." I noted.
* * *
Half an hour before the Ball was due to start, Theo, Crabbe, Goyle, and I returned to our dorm to get changed.
"No, no, a thousand times no!" I yelled, "What idiot packed THIS?!"
"What?" Theo asked.
I held up the crappy family dress robes I'd been forced to wear last Christmas. Theo sniggered.
"It's not bloody funny!" I snapped.
"How's it not?" Theo asked.
"Because I am not wearing this ... no way in hell. Not in a million years." I said, shaking my head. Especially not after I'd spent so much energy into laughing at Weasley's dress robes which wasn't that much worse - at least the same amount of lace - shudder.
"Um, what are you gonna wear, then, Draco? Your Quidditch robes?" Theo asked jokingly.
"Anything but this." I muttered, then proceeded to sulk.
Five minutes passed, during which the other three boys got dressed and ignored me. Crabbe and Goyle were wearing moss-green dress robes that matched each other a little too well. Theo, meanwhile, was wearing bright acid green, a similar colour to Skeeter's Dicta-Quill, with black cobweb designs around the hems and sleeves.
Then the familiar whip-crack noise of a house-elf's Apparating spell sounded through the room, and I looked up to see my favourite black velvet dress robes sitting on my bed with a scrawled note on them, which read, 'Master Draco, sir. Is these any better? Dobby.' I'd had these robes since I was ten, and I'd refused to get rid of them, so my mother had had Madam Malkin cast an enlargement charm on them so they still fit me.
"What the -?" Theo asked.
"House elf ... long story ... don't ask." I said, smiling, and starting to get changed into the decent dress robes (finally removing the 'BAH HUMBUG' hat).
"They're better than the lace-nightmare, but really, that collar looks a bit ... conservative." Theo said, evaluatingly, as I brushed my hair.
"It looks fine." I said coldly.
"Since when was your hair that long?" Theo asked.
"Since I grew it." I said flatly, tying my hair back - the front strands of my hair only just caught in the hair tie at the nape of my neck ... and really, this would be the first time in ages I'd go out in public without gel in my hair.
"Aren't you gonna wear some of that nancy-boy hair gel you love so much?" Theo asked, as if he'd known what I'd been thinking.
"No. And on the subject of hair-gel, you're one to talk, captain peroxide." I said coldly.
"That grew out a year ago!" Theo whined, "And it wasn't peroxide - it was darker than yours."
"At least mine's natural." I growled.
"Dumb blonde."
"Fashion-victim."
"You realise this sort of argument is gonna make people think we're gay." Theo noted.
"Shut the hell up." I growled.
I don't know what Crabbe and Goyle thought was so funny about that ... but they were sniggering stupidly.
"Who are you two going to the Ball with, anyway?" Theo asked.
"Each other." Goyle answered.
I stared for a minute, "Please tell me you're joking." I said slowly.
"No joke." Crabbe replied.
"Oh ... my ... god." Theo muttered.
I shook my head, "Bad mental pictures." I muttered.
When we got out to the common room, the fourth-year girls were all clustered together in a corner ... considering we were the youngest students going to the Ball, we were practically being ignored by the older students.
"Hey, Draco!" Pansy squealed, rushing over to me as soon as I appeared, "You look gorgeous." she said chirpily.
"Thanks. You look ... pink." I said, looking at the too-frilly pastel pink robes she was wearing ... the pastel pink lip-gloss, and too-much blusher on her face didn't help the image.
Pansy pouted, "Is that all you can say?" she asked.
"Well ... I don't like the colour ... but other than that, you look really good." I said diplomatically.
She continued to pout.
"Pansy, you look fine. Really. I'm just not the world's biggest fan of pink." I said.
She sighed, "All right, then. Oh, are those your favourite dress robes? You wore those to my last what - four birthday parties." she said, smirking.
"I like them." I said, shrugging.
"They do look good on you." she said, nodding. I smiled. "And your hair! You look so much better without gel in it." she reached up to touch my hair.
"Don't touch." I said quickly.
"Why not?" she asked, pouting again.
"Because ... I don't want you to mess up my hair before everyone gets to see me." I said.
"You are vain." she said, smirking.
"I know."
"Oh, Theo, you look - erm - different." Cat said, as she and Blaise appeared beside Pansy. Cat was wearing lightweight floaty deep-purple robes. Blaise was wearing heavier silver robes, and her hair was tied back in a bun with a matching hair tie. Both girls had obviously put a lot of effort into their makeup.
"Thanks. I'm going for the 'insane' look." Theo said.
"You pull that off at the best of times." Blaise said, smiling.
* * *
We walked up to the Entrance Hall together, Pansy clinging unnecessarily to my arm, as if I were going to abandon her at my first opportunity ... honestly, I had no one better to meet - I had no reason to abandon her.
Theo was talking to Blaise, animatedly, about methods of assassination for Blast-Ended Skrewts ... Cat was nowhere to be seen - she'd said she had to wait for her date ... Milli was looking around, as if trying to spot her date ... and Crabbe and Goyle were looking stupid.
The Entrance Hall was packed, although I did spot several people I recognised. Samantha and Carrie were holding court with two other Ravenclaw girls and five boys, from the Hufflepuff Quidditch team ... that math doesn't work out - I know that - but it's what I saw. The rest of the non-Slytherin sixth years, and several fifth years, were circled around the Weasley twins, who were showing off some sort of trick or other ... I didn't pay attention to what, though. And Potter and his pet Weasley had got (probably begged) the Patil twins as their dates. Weaslette was with Longbottom.
Theo had vanished, most likely to find Luna. Blaise had made her way over to an older Ravenclaw boy who I recognised as one of the Beaters on their Quidditch team. Milli was talking to a Hufflepuff fifth year boy. Crabbe and Goyle were looking stupid, and if I didn't (unfortunately) know better, I'd think they hadn't got dates.
Then the main doors opened to admit the Durmstrang students. Krum was in the lead, with a particularly gorgeous girl in light blue robes, who I didn't recognise at this distance. Next, I saw Ivonava and another Durmstrang boy who I hadn't spoken to. Then Wednesday, who was alone, and looked like she was proud of that fact. Three more couples, only one of whom had a Hogwarts partner, and none were with Beauxbatons students. And at the very end of the line, Poliakoff, with a young-looking Beauxbatons girl - one of the girls who had cried when she hadn't been chosen as a champion.
Cat appeared behind me, with the Slytherin Mudblood - she scowling, while he was wearing black and a confused expression. "Draco. Don't." Cat said simply.
"Don't what?" I asked, confused.
"Do something stupid. I know you're going to." Cat replied.
"Huh?" I asked, still confused.
"Trust me - just don't."
"I don't know what you're talking about." I said defensively.
"You'll just make a fool of yourself if any Gryffindors see you." Cat said as if I knew what she meant.
"I have no clue what you're on about." I growled.
"Champions over here, please!" McGonagall called out over the chattering crowd.
* * *
End of chapter 19