Inuyasha had just came out of the bathroom when his mother walked right
into his apartment and it was shocked.
"Inuyasha! We have to talk," she said very fast.
"Mom! What if I'd come out here wearing nothing?" he asked tighting the robe he was wearing.
"You mean it's possible to wear less than you're wearing right now?" she asked looking up and down at him.
"I'll have you know skirts are shorter this year!"
"What did you say to that woman?" she asked.
"Nothing! The-the truth. I didn't mention you, but I-I did say that Dad's been seeing someone," he stuttered.
"Ah, Inuyasha, that's just perfect. You've ruined everything!" she said complaining.
"Mom...let's just sit down and talk about this," he said and guided his mother the the couch and sat down and then her eyes went wide when she looked at his lap.
"Uh-oh!" she said.
"Let's just stand up and talk about this!" he said and both of them stood up and he straightened out his robe.
"Inuyasha, thanks to you, Tina's dumped him!"
"Well, that's great. With Tina gone, you and dad can get back together, the way you used to be. You know, with the-the joint showers and pookie- pookie!" he said but also winced at the last part.
"Are you out of your head? Don't you understand why he cheated on me in the first place?" she asked throwing up her hands.
"Well, sure, because you stopped communicating. The-the whole basis of your marriage started to slowly erode!"
"No. It was fun. Cheating is fun! Ooh, the secret little meetings, and-and you only have an hour and then, you gotta hide the evidence. Ooh, gosh, I felt like a spy. I felt like a sexual spy... On a--on a mission to--," she said in a dreamy voice.
"You don't have to finish that!"
"Seduce the enemy with my body," she finished and sighed.
"And she finished it," he said and started to feel a little sick.
"Now, but thanks to you, the meddler in the mini-robe, that's all over. Yeah, I just feel like we're married again, only now I have to pay for my own clothes!" "So what do you want me to do?!" he asked in an annoyed voice.
"Fix it!"
"No! I-I-I I'm staying out of this. You know, just-just- call your other son!" he said in a shocked voice.
"Oh, your brother can't help me. He's straight. He have no finesse for the-- for the details of manipulating petty dramas."
Then a knock was heard and Inuyasha sighed loudly and walked over to the door.
"Gee, what a sweet way of voicing your support for your gay son," he said and opened the door and saw...TINA!!
"Inuyasha-- Oh my God, you're nude!" she said and covered her eyes.
"Yeah, we've done all the robe jokes, move on," he said and pulled her into the room and didn't even notice the other women.
"I was packing my stuff at Inutashio's apartment, and I found a note. The whore is your mother!" she said and pulled a note from her purse.
"Meet my mother," he said with no emotion and pointed to his mother," Whore, mistress. Mistress, whore."
"Well, um, hi. We finally meet. Though I've seen pictures of you when I removed them from your ex-husband's wallet," Tina said and glared at her.
"Well, I must say, you're almost exactly as I imagined you. You're like page four in the Midlife Crisis catalog," his mother shot back at her and if looks could kill Tina be dead.
"Okay, ladies. Let's relax and sit!" he said holding up his hands between then and was about to sit down when..
"Oh!" his mother yelped causing him to stand back up.
"Let's stand. We have a very complicated problem here. A lot of competing agendas. But as a lawyer, I'm used to working on tricky corporate mergers. So I'm sure we can find some common ground. Mom, what is it you want?"
"Well, I want Tina to keep seeing Inutashio. So he can sneak around with me behind her back."
"You're quite the role model. Tina?"
"Well, I want her out of the picture, so I can have Inutashio all to myself. I mean, this is the first time I've ever dated a man that I didn't have to call, let it ring once, and call back!"
"So that was you at Thanksgiving? So what we're looking for is a solution that encompasses all these needs," he said and turned to look at Tina. "Uh, Inuyasha, when you gesture like that, we can see your Pennsylvania!" Tina said and Inuyasha turned again and shakes his head.
"However, that solution does not exist. So let's get to what I want. Otherwise known as what's gonna happen. Tina, move on," he said and she gasped.
"You're gonna be miserable at first, but you'll live. Mom, you are gonna get back with Dad. You're gonna be miserable at first, but you'll live." He says to them and she sighs," Are we clear on this?"
"Um, yes."
"I guess so."
"Good. Now we're all behaving like ladies. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna drink half a bottle of chardonnay, and scrub myself until I feel clean again," he said and opens the door for them and they both walk out and closes the door.
"We're not gonna listen to him, are we?"
"No, the three of us had a great thing going," Tina said and got into the elevator.
"So I'll take Inutashio Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays."
"And I'll keep him on the weekends. We'll give him Tuesdays and Thursdays to rest."
"Ohh, this is great! And it's even more exciting now that we're lying to Inuyasha," and they both laugh as the elevator doors close.
Miroku, Shippo and Sango all sit together looking at a photo album and Miroku points to one of the pictures.
"Ooh, and here's another. This is your great-grandpappy, Liam leading a cheer squad!"
"That's quite a split," Shippo said nodding his head.
"And that was before stretch pants," Miroku pointed out and smiled.
"Yeah, I can see that."
"Oh, talk about courageous. When the Yanks landed in Okinawa, he was right there alongside them, yelling, "Fight, fight." And after the war, that brave man cheered with one arm," Sango said and sighed.
"How does that make you feel, boy?" he asked and patted Shippo on the back.
"If I say proud, can I go home?" Shippo asked. That's the end my fellow people's. If you want me to write a different episode with the Inuyasha characters REVIEW!!! And tell me!! That you all!
"Inuyasha! We have to talk," she said very fast.
"Mom! What if I'd come out here wearing nothing?" he asked tighting the robe he was wearing.
"You mean it's possible to wear less than you're wearing right now?" she asked looking up and down at him.
"I'll have you know skirts are shorter this year!"
"What did you say to that woman?" she asked.
"Nothing! The-the truth. I didn't mention you, but I-I did say that Dad's been seeing someone," he stuttered.
"Ah, Inuyasha, that's just perfect. You've ruined everything!" she said complaining.
"Mom...let's just sit down and talk about this," he said and guided his mother the the couch and sat down and then her eyes went wide when she looked at his lap.
"Uh-oh!" she said.
"Let's just stand up and talk about this!" he said and both of them stood up and he straightened out his robe.
"Inuyasha, thanks to you, Tina's dumped him!"
"Well, that's great. With Tina gone, you and dad can get back together, the way you used to be. You know, with the-the joint showers and pookie- pookie!" he said but also winced at the last part.
"Are you out of your head? Don't you understand why he cheated on me in the first place?" she asked throwing up her hands.
"Well, sure, because you stopped communicating. The-the whole basis of your marriage started to slowly erode!"
"No. It was fun. Cheating is fun! Ooh, the secret little meetings, and-and you only have an hour and then, you gotta hide the evidence. Ooh, gosh, I felt like a spy. I felt like a sexual spy... On a--on a mission to--," she said in a dreamy voice.
"You don't have to finish that!"
"Seduce the enemy with my body," she finished and sighed.
"And she finished it," he said and started to feel a little sick.
"Now, but thanks to you, the meddler in the mini-robe, that's all over. Yeah, I just feel like we're married again, only now I have to pay for my own clothes!" "So what do you want me to do?!" he asked in an annoyed voice.
"Fix it!"
"No! I-I-I I'm staying out of this. You know, just-just- call your other son!" he said in a shocked voice.
"Oh, your brother can't help me. He's straight. He have no finesse for the-- for the details of manipulating petty dramas."
Then a knock was heard and Inuyasha sighed loudly and walked over to the door.
"Gee, what a sweet way of voicing your support for your gay son," he said and opened the door and saw...TINA!!
"Inuyasha-- Oh my God, you're nude!" she said and covered her eyes.
"Yeah, we've done all the robe jokes, move on," he said and pulled her into the room and didn't even notice the other women.
"I was packing my stuff at Inutashio's apartment, and I found a note. The whore is your mother!" she said and pulled a note from her purse.
"Meet my mother," he said with no emotion and pointed to his mother," Whore, mistress. Mistress, whore."
"Well, um, hi. We finally meet. Though I've seen pictures of you when I removed them from your ex-husband's wallet," Tina said and glared at her.
"Well, I must say, you're almost exactly as I imagined you. You're like page four in the Midlife Crisis catalog," his mother shot back at her and if looks could kill Tina be dead.
"Okay, ladies. Let's relax and sit!" he said holding up his hands between then and was about to sit down when..
"Oh!" his mother yelped causing him to stand back up.
"Let's stand. We have a very complicated problem here. A lot of competing agendas. But as a lawyer, I'm used to working on tricky corporate mergers. So I'm sure we can find some common ground. Mom, what is it you want?"
"Well, I want Tina to keep seeing Inutashio. So he can sneak around with me behind her back."
"You're quite the role model. Tina?"
"Well, I want her out of the picture, so I can have Inutashio all to myself. I mean, this is the first time I've ever dated a man that I didn't have to call, let it ring once, and call back!"
"So that was you at Thanksgiving? So what we're looking for is a solution that encompasses all these needs," he said and turned to look at Tina. "Uh, Inuyasha, when you gesture like that, we can see your Pennsylvania!" Tina said and Inuyasha turned again and shakes his head.
"However, that solution does not exist. So let's get to what I want. Otherwise known as what's gonna happen. Tina, move on," he said and she gasped.
"You're gonna be miserable at first, but you'll live. Mom, you are gonna get back with Dad. You're gonna be miserable at first, but you'll live." He says to them and she sighs," Are we clear on this?"
"Um, yes."
"I guess so."
"Good. Now we're all behaving like ladies. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna drink half a bottle of chardonnay, and scrub myself until I feel clean again," he said and opens the door for them and they both walk out and closes the door.
"We're not gonna listen to him, are we?"
"No, the three of us had a great thing going," Tina said and got into the elevator.
"So I'll take Inutashio Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays."
"And I'll keep him on the weekends. We'll give him Tuesdays and Thursdays to rest."
"Ohh, this is great! And it's even more exciting now that we're lying to Inuyasha," and they both laugh as the elevator doors close.
Miroku, Shippo and Sango all sit together looking at a photo album and Miroku points to one of the pictures.
"Ooh, and here's another. This is your great-grandpappy, Liam leading a cheer squad!"
"That's quite a split," Shippo said nodding his head.
"And that was before stretch pants," Miroku pointed out and smiled.
"Yeah, I can see that."
"Oh, talk about courageous. When the Yanks landed in Okinawa, he was right there alongside them, yelling, "Fight, fight." And after the war, that brave man cheered with one arm," Sango said and sighed.
"How does that make you feel, boy?" he asked and patted Shippo on the back.
"If I say proud, can I go home?" Shippo asked. That's the end my fellow people's. If you want me to write a different episode with the Inuyasha characters REVIEW!!! And tell me!! That you all!