"Hello, ladies," Gordie said, approaching Chris and Anya, who were sitting together on a couch. He squeezed between them.

"This couch is too small, Gordie," Chris grumbled.

"Yeah, and I got a big butt too," he laughed. He wiggled around and then put his arms around both of their shoulders. "How is the party treating you two?"

"Good," Chris said. "Except some random girl kissed me and it was gross and she tasted like vomit. So I was like 'back off bitch.'"

"Actually, what he said was 'Pardon me, I think you're confused and intoxicated, Miss,'" Anya told Gordie.

"Yes, but I was thinking 'back of bitch,'" Chris grumbled.

"Chris, you're such a nice young man," Gordie laughed. He looked over at Anya's pregnant belly and noticed she had a wine cooler resting on it. "You should not be drinking in your condition!"

"She's drinking for three," Chris said.

"Three?"

"Yes, she's drinking for herself, for the baby AKA pillow, and for me."

"For you? You never drink, you retard."

"I know!" He looked at Gordie, with a smiling look of impatience. "Must I explain everything to you, Gordie?"

"Usually." He sighed. "Chris? I gotta ask you about something, later, okay?"

"Why not now?"

"Because I'm still thinking about it on my own."

"All right, man. Don't think too hard."

You Didn't Have to be So Nice by the Lovin' Spoonfuls suddenly started to play. Chris appeared troubled. "That's weird. I never saw Billy as the type to listen to the Lovin' Spoonfuls. No matter. Anya, get up and dance with me."

"But my back is killing me!" she griped.

"I don't care!"

"That's because you're not the one pretending to be pregnant."

Chris got up and whacked her with his sword.
"Fine," she sighed. She struggled to her feet, making Chris and Gordie laugh hysterically, because she looked like an upside down ladybug. "Let's 'dance,' damn you."

Chris looked at Gordie. "You're sure you don't want to talk now?"

"I'm sure. 'Dance,' damn you," Gordie laughed. "I'll be here when you get back."

"Okay, man, I'll be back…it won't take long for me to make an ass of myself, I'm sure." He grinned and grabbed Anya by the hand. "Holy mother! Your hands are like ice, woman."

"Get used to it."

Gordie watched them as Chris tried to get his arms around Anya's waist, but couldn't because of her bulging middle. The two of them laughed and settled on doing a psychotic swing dance. Anya was apparently quite drunk. It made him sad…his two best friends together while he sat alone, berating himself for being such a dick to the only girl that he could ever see himself loving.

"He's a dick," Cassie said.

"He's not a dick," Brooke insisted, but it was hard to insist something with any gusto when you had the hiccups from crying too hard.

"He's a dick! It's not your fault he can't pick up the pieces."

"It's not his fault either." Brooke slumped over the kitchen table, her hair like a curtain over her face. "I just wish that I could be someone else."

"Brooke," Cassie murmured, unsure of what to do. She settled on patting her on the back. "He likes you for you. He…just doesn't know what to do with his feelings yet. Think about it from his point of view."

"I have thought about it from his fucking point of view!" Brooke snapped. "All I fucking do is think about him!"

"Okay…" Cassie sighed. She didn't know what to do.

"I wish everything could be different," she whimpered. "I just…wish…I wish Gordie…" She looked up, her eyes rimmed with pink and her cheeks blazing. "I don't know. I want Gordie, and I claim to want the best for him…so maybe I should just stay away from him completely."

The sound of vomit would remain in Lorelei's mind for a very long time. She was just standing there peacefully…well, her lips were kind of attached to Teddy's…but she was just standing there, minding her own business when Vern came up to them, staggering.

"Hey, guys, I think I've had too much to dri--"

And then suddenly, Lorelei was covered in Vern barf.

"Holy SHIT!" she screamed, flying away from both Teddy and Vern. "Son of a fucking goddammit EWWWWW!"

"Holy shit, I'm sor--" Vern began to say, but then had to leave so that he could throw up again.

"Teddyyyy," she whined. "I'm appalled!"

Teddy was cackling while he said, "Come on, I'll take you home. I think you're quite drunk yourself anyway."

"I'm not drunk."

"You are too. You're swaying, and you're letting me make out with you more than usual."

"That's because I love you, man!"

"Come on," he laughed, and led her outside. He didn't think he needed to say goodbye to anyone--everyone but Chris and Gordie were drunk, as far as he could tell. Even Cassie Grey and Brooke Aarons, Castle Rock High's biggest brains, were giggling and crying and drinking in the kitchen, last time he'd seen them.

As they walked down the middle of the street, with him mostly having to hold her up to prevent her from collapsing, Lorelei suddenly squealed. "Oh heavenous joy!"

"What the hell?" he demanded.

She swayed for a moment, then stooped to pick something up off the road. "A perfectly good Tootsie Roll, fallen out of the treacherous grip of some unfortunate trick or treater! Mwahahahaha!"

"You're not going to eat that, are you? Shit, Lorelei, it's got tire marks in it. It's been run over."

She fought with the wrapper, and then broke the Tootsie Roll in half. "Want some?"

He put up a hand and said politely, "No thank you."

She stared at him.

"What?" he demanded.

She walked away.

"Are you mad because I won't eat your Halloween roadkill?" he laughed.

Giggling, Lorelei took his hand and said cheerfully, "Nope!" She went to pop the candy in her mouth. Teddy watched in slow motion as she dropped it on the road. "NOOOOooooo!" she screamed.

Teddy then watched as she ate it anyway.

"Shhhh," Gordie hissed.

"That was a kick ass party!" Brooke practically yelled as he tried to sneak them into the house quietly around two AM.

"You've never been drunk before, have you?" he sighed.

"Not really!"

"Okay, I understand that you decided to drink your troubles away with the future valedictorian tonight, but you must restrain your intoxication until I get you into bed."

"Get me into bed, eh?" she snickered, jabbing him in the ribs, and tripping up the stairs. "For someone who can't stop pushing me away, you sure cut right to the chase, don't you?"
"Shut up," he said kindly, finally getting her inside her room. He closed the door behind them, trying to minimize the sound. She sat down heavily on the bed and he knelt to slip off her shoes. "You fucked up tonight, Brooke."

"So did you, Gordie."

"I can't believe you had to get plastered just because I didn't tell you what you wanted to hear."

"Well I'm certainly more cheerful now."

"You won't be in the morning."

Suddenly Cat crawled out from under the bed. Brooke squealed.

"It's just Cat, Brooke."

"Oh I don't like cats when I'm drunk."

Gordie shook his head. "I'm going to bed. Try not to puke in your sleep and die from choking on it."

"Aye, aye."

"Goodnight, Brooke."

"Night Gordie, I love you," she yawned, and fell back against her pillow with her eyes closed. He realized she was already asleep.

He stared at her. "I think I might love you too, you retard," he muttered, and flipped off her light.

Author's Note: Many people to thank :) Well, three. Okay, thanks to Caroline (The Masked Penguin) for suggesting the You Didn't Have to be so Nice song…I've discovered that I too love it. And thanks to Robyn for going for a walk with me yesterday and eating candy roadkill off the middle of the road and letting me use your…uniqueness…in my story. LoL, you're basically the Lorelei in my life :) And also, thanks as always to Britt for being the greatest beta-reader in the history of beta-reading. I love you :)