Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Anime Craze! I don't own any anime or Whose Line. I only own Christopher Julius (my character) and Gamerctm (me).
Voice: Good evening and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" On tonight's show, {cut to C.J.} Not for anyone under 13, Christopher Julius! (from my Samurai Pizza Cats fanfic.) {cut to Mai.} Unsuitable for children, Mai Valentine! (from Yu-Gi-Oh!) {cut to Gohan (as an adult)} Must be 18 or older, Gohan! (from DBZ) And. {cut to Kuwabara.} Not for anyone at all, Kazuma Kuwabara! (from YuYu Hakusho) {cut to Gamerctm, who's in the audience.} And I'm your host, Gamer! C'mon lets have some fun! {walks to his desk.}
Gamer: Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" The show where everything made up and the points don't matter! Points don't matter just like "Blair Witch's" plot! {audience laughs.} If you never seen the show, our 4 performers have to make up everything off the top of their heads. No matter how empty. {looks at Kuwabara.} I give them fake points, just a gag to hold the show together. I total up the points and the winner gets to something special with me. {audience ohhs and whistles.} And the loser has to do it twice! {audience laughs.} Let's go to our first game. Let's Make a Date! {audience cheers as the performers walk to the stage and grab stools to sit on.} Mai is a contestant on a dating show, but unfortunately, her only choices are these guys. {points to the men performers.} And we have given them each a strange quirk or identity. {C.J. reads his card and chuckles. Gohan reads his and shakes his head. Kuwabara looks dumfounded at his.} And you have to guess who they are by asking them questions. So whenever you're ready.
Mai: Bachelor Number One.
C.J.: [shouting] YES!!! (Loud-Mouth Drill Sargent) {audience laughs}
Mai: Ohh. you gotta strong voice. Where would you take me on a romantic date?
C.J.: [shouting] {audience starts laughing}WE WILL GO ON A 20 LAP RUN AROUND THE WOODS, AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!!! AFTER THAT, 500 OF EACH!!! PUSH- UPS! CHIN-UPS! JUMPIN' JACKS! SIT-UPS! AND YOU WILL ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT! {audience applauds}
Mai: Sounds like fun. Bachelor Number 2.
Gohan: {panicked} WHAT?! Who said that? (Scared of Everything)
Mai: Take it easy. Bachelor Number 2. One of my favorite things to do is play Duel Monsters.
Gohan: {more panicked} MONSTERS!!! WHERE?! {looks around as the audience laughs. C.J. turns his head and looks at Gohan. When Gohan sees him, he yelps and winces back in fear. He's looking C.J. directly in the eyes.}
C.J.: {to Gohan.} [shouting] TAKE YOUR EYEBALLS OFF ME, YOU LILY LIVERED SACK OF CRAP!!! {audience roars with laughter.} DROP AND GIVE ME 200!!! NOW!!! {Gohan drops to the ground and starts doing push-ups. He's whimpering and shaking in fear.} FASTER! FASTER! {Gohan speeds up After a while C.J. and Gohan sit back on the stools and the audience applauds and cheers.}
Mai: Best thing about you, number 2, is that number 1 comes with you. Bachelor Number 3, my turn-ons include music, chocolate, and massages. What are your turn-ons?
Kuwabara: (high-class gentlemen turning into a were-wolf) [smoothly] My turn-ons include Be-autiful women, like you my fair damsel. {Mai giggles.} They also include slow dancing to soft music, dinner by candlelight, hunting and eating a fresh Gypsy and sniffing other peoples'. {audience laughs while Mai gasps.} What was the question again? {growls playfully.} grrrr. {growls more ferociously.} GRRRR. SNARL!!!
Gohan: {after hearing Kuwabara snarl.} AHH! {backs away from him and hits C.J. is the elbow. C.J. looks at him. The audience laughs. Gohan looks at him.} AHH! {backs off.}
Mai: Number 3. You sound like a wild animal! Back to you Number 1.
C.J.: [shouting] YES!
Mai: I love the outdoors.
C.J.: [shouting] GOOD! CAUSE WHEN WE START TRAINING, YOU WILL SLEEP, EAT, WORK, AND DO OTHER THINGS OUTSIDE YOUR LITTLE COMFY HOME!!! {looks in the audience. He shouts and points to someone.} YOU!!! GET DOWN HERE!!! {audience cheers and whistles.} RIGHT NOW!!! {from the audience, Van Freiheit from Zoids runs to the stage. He stops in front of C.J.} LISTEN TO ME, YOU UNDISCIPLED PUDDLE OF MUSH! BATTLE BREAK OUT, NO ONE IS YOUR FRIEND, NOT EVEN YOUR FRIENDS!!! RUN 20 TIMES AROUND THE STAGE AND BE QUICK ABOUT IT!!! {Van does as he's told and the audience cheers and applaud him. C.J. sits down.}
Mai: Wow. you can bring more guys with us! Bachelor Number 2. I want.
Gohan: [panicked] WHO CARES WHAT YOU WANT?! I'M SURROUNDED BY MAD MEN!!! {starts running around the stage with Van as the audience laughs.} SAVE ME!!! HELP ME!!! I'M GONNA DIE!!!
Mai: You must be fun at parties. Bachelor Number 3?
Kuwabara: {points his head up high.} HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLL!!! {the audience cheers during the middle.} GRRRRRRRR. {he jumps off the stage and thrashes around, screaming in agony, like he's turning into a were-wolf. When he's done, he and C.J. lock eyes.} GRRRRR. {acts like he's foaming at the mouth.}
C.J.: I've been killin' guys twice as big as you since before you were born. {shouts.} DROP AND GIVE ME 400!!! {Gohan runs towards Kuwabara then runs the other way. Kuwabara, on all fours, chases him down and acts like he catches and tears him to shreds. The audience screams. Gohan screams as this happens. Van runs up to C.J. and stops.} {to Van} Now you can do 20 more in the other di-rection. {shouts} MOVE!!! {Van runs the other way.} {BUZZ} {Van and C.J. shake hands. The audience cheers and applauds.} Thanks a lot! {Van runs back to his seat as C.J., Gohan and Kuwabara sit on the stools.}
Gamer: {to Van} What's your name?
Van: Van!
Gamer: You didn't do a full 20, Van. {audience laughs.} {to Mai.} Okay Mai! Who are they?
Mai: Well I choose Van. {the audience applauds and Van laughs.} Bachelor Number one was a Drill Sargent?
Gamer: Yes! {BUZZ} {the audience cheers.}
Mai: Number 2 is a fraidy cat?
Gamer: Close enough. {BUZZ} He's scared of everything.
Mai: And Number 3 is a rapid dog?
Gamer: No! He's changing into a what?
Mai: A werewolf!
Gamer: Yeah! {BUZZ} The audience cheers as the performers put the stools away and sit at their seats.} That was great! 1000 sit-ups to everyone! Lets move on to a game called, Song Styles! This is for C.J.!{audience starts cheering as Gamer goes up into the audience. C.J. walks to the stage and places a stool in the middle. Gamer stops in front of the Triad from YuYu Hakusho. He talks to the female ogre, Miyuki} What's your name? What do you do?
Miyuki: Miyuki. I'm a member of the Triad.
Gamer: C'mon down, Miyuki! Say hi to C.J.! {he and her walk to the stage. She shakes hands with C.J and sits cross-legged on the stool.} C.J., this is Miyuki, and you're gonna sing a song to her using her name and occupation. {he goes to the desk and reads a card.} And the style of the song is. you're Chef, from South Park! {audience cheers.} So when the music starts, sing a song about Miyuki, Chef! {romantic soul music starts playing.}
C.J.: {as Chef} Hey, children! {audience cheers and whistles.} {as Stan} Hey, Chef! {as Kyle} Chef. What's a Miyuki? {as Chef} A Miyuki is a beautiful demon woman, who Chef is gonna make sweet love to! {audience cheers and Miyuki blushes.} {singing as Chef.} Oh sweet, baby! Miyuki is her name! My name is Chef, and love-makin' is the game! {holds his hands up and jumps around like they do on South Park.} She's a beautiful lady, a sexy demon with hair of blue. Brace yourself, woman! I'll make hard love to you! {audience cheers and whistles as C.J. keeps jumping around.} Member of the Triad! Tough person to fight! When you come home, Chef will hold you tight! Make beautiful music together! Make love together! A wild love caper! You're pen and ink, I'm construction paper! {audience, Gamer, and Miyuki laughs.} Miyuki! Don't tremble to me sexy hand. We'll make sweet lov. {looks at her lap and yells in his normal voice.} YOU'RE A MAN!!! {falls down on the ground and backs away. Gamer, Miyuki, the performers and audience laughs wildly. C.J. gets up, runs to the back and acts like he's vomiting. He reluctantly walks back with a pale, scared face.} {as Chef} I just witnessed a horrible sight! Why didn't anyone tell me I'm singing to a transvestite?!?! {runs back to the back and fake vomits again.} {BUZZ} {the music stops and Miyuki walks back to her seat. The audience is still laughing.}
Gamer: {laughing.} Lets give it up. HAHAHAHA!!! for Miyuki! HAHAHA!!! {C.J. puts the stool away and walks back to his seat with a pale face. The laughter slowly stops.} HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, man! That was funny! 1000 points.{looks at C.J.} You look a little pale there, C.J. You didn't happen to see the.
C.J.: SHUT UP!!! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: {looks at the camera.} Aren't you glad this is a show the WHOLE family can watch? Mom and dad, the kids, grandma.
C.J.: I'm going to a Strip Joint and drink until I pass out! {audience cheers and whistles.}
Gamer: Are you sure she's. or he. wasn't a. "whatcamacallit?"
C.J.: I don't think she was a candy bar. {audience and performers laugh.}
Gamer: No! A. uh. {writes down something on a card, crumples it into a ball and throws it to C.J.. He catches it, unfolds it and reads it.}
C.J.: {eyes bug out.} OH S*bleep*!!! {crumples up the card and throws it off stage. The audience goes wild.}
Gamer: What do they call that?
C.J.: Traumatizing!
Gamer: {laughs.} Let's move on to game called Props! {Mai, Gohan, and Kuwabara walk on stage.} {to C.J.} This is for everyone.
C.J.: Okay. {walks on stage. The audience cheers.}
Gamer: {pulls from behind the desk two black, Styrofoam shark fin-like objects.} This is Mai and C.J.'s prop. {throws the fins to C.J. and Mai. He then pulls a giant, red, hollow, plastic mushroom top.} This is Gohan and Kuwabara's. {they take the prop.} The way this games works, the two teams have to go back and forth and find different uses for their prop. Starting with. Mai and C.J.
C.J.: {he and Mai are holding the fins on their backs.} These shark costumes well scare the crap out of those beach heads! {BUZZ} {audience laughs.}
{cut to Kuwabara and Gohan.}
Gohan: {holding the prop over his head.} If you look real closely, you'll see me in the movie, Fantasia! {puts the prop on his head, crotches down and dances around.} {BUZZ} {the audience laugh and applaud.}
{cut to Mai and C.J.}
Mai: {holding the fins over C.J.'s head with the tip touching each other.} Look out! It's the crane!
C.J.: AHH!!! {runs in place. The "crane"{ grabs his head.} NO!!! {gets pulled away.} {BUZZ} {audience laughs.}
{cut to Kuwabara and Gohan.}
Kuwabara: {looking at the prop that's laying on the ground with the smooth part up.} If that missile takes off, we're dead!!! RUN! {he and Gohan run in place.} {BUZZ} {the audience laughs.}
{cut to Mai and C.J., They're wearing the fins on their heads. They are facing the right.}
C.J. and Mai: We're evil Smurfs! We're evil Smurfs!!! {BUZZ} {the audience goes wild with laughter and applauds.}
{cut to Kuwabara and Gohan. They are standing under the prop, holding it over there heads..}
Gohan: We need a bigger umbrella. {Kuwabara nods his head.} {BUZZ} {audience laughs a little.}
{cut to Mai and C.J. C.J. has the fins over his hands. He's on his knees.}
C.J.: {barking and slapping his fins together like a seal.} Arf! Arf! Arf! {the audience laughs.}
Mai: Catch! {acts like she's throwing a fish to him. He eats it.} Good boy! {BUZZ}
{cut to Kuwabara and Gohan. They are holding different end of the prop and running around in a circle, giggling like child. The audience laughs and cheers.}
Kuwabara and Gohan: HEHEHEHEHEHE! HEHEHEHEHEHE!
Kuwabara: {lets go of the prop and spins away.} Whoa. {BUZZ}
{cut to Mai and C.J. He walks near the back and holds the fins on the wall, making them resemble a beak. Mai is looking at him.}
C.J.: I think you got TOO big a parrot, Mai! {audience laughs.} {BUZZ}
{cut to Kuwabara and Gohan. Gohan is holding the prop.}
Gohan: Wanna see my autographed Pamela Anderson falsie? {BUZZ} {the audience laughs and applauds.} {BUZZ}{BUZZ}{BUZZ}
Gamer: Thanks a lot guys! That was awesome! We'll be right back with more "Whose Line is it Anyway!" Stay right there!
}}commercial break{{
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering.}
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line!" Everything's made up and points don't matter. I'm Gamer, or as my Indian name is, "Wiener Tucked in Sock!" {audience laughs and whistles.} Lets go to a game called, Film, TV, and Theatre Styles! This is for Mai, Gohan, and Kuwabara! {audiences cheers as they walk to the stage.} I need from the audience suggestions of styles of film, TV, or theatre. {audience shouts out suggestions.} .Mobster. West Side Story. Horror. Croc Hunter. Osbournes!. After School Special. That's enough. So anyway, our performers well act out a scene. When I buzz them, they have to act out the scene with a different style. And the scene is. {reads a card.} Mai is a beautiful bride about to marry Gohan, her groom. Kuwabara, however has feelings for her and is trying to stop the wedding. So anytime you're ready. go!
Mai: {he and Gohan are holding hands.} Oh darling, I can hardly believe you and me shall be wed!
Gohan: This is the second best wedding I ever had! {audience laughs.} I've had 6 so far!
Mai: Hard to imagine they all left you for other men.
Gohan: Yes. THEY.left me.
Kuwabara: STOP!!! {jumps on stage.} {BUZZ}
Gamer: Mobster!
Gohan: {mob boss voice.} You're making a big mistake, chump! That last guy who interfered with my weddin' is wearing cement shoes at the bottom of Lake. I don't know which lake but it's a deep one!
Mai: {loud, piercing voice.} {hugs Gohan.} Oh, Tommy! {audience cheers.} You sure know how to show a girl a good time!
Kuwabara: {like the God-Father.} I've come tell ya, Angie. You can't marry this dirt bag. He's the one who ordered that hit man to whack your father!
Mai: {piercing voice.} {to Gohan}You told me he fell on top of those bullets!
Gohan: {mob boss voice.} I say lots of things, doll. Let's go get hitched before the drive-by shoots him and us with him. {BUZZ}
Gamer: West Side Story!
{Kuwabara and Gohan walk in a circle, staring at each other and snapping their fingers.}
Gohan: {singing.} When you're a groom, you always get the finest chicks! {audience cheers.}
Kuwabara: {singing.} I feel pretty. {audience laughs loudly.} Ohh so pretty. I feel pretty! {BUZZ}
Gamer: {laughing.} I didn't think you'd know the words guys. uh. Horror!
Mai: {whispering.} That sounded like bad singing! {audience laughs.}
Kuwabara: I don't think we're alone. {looks at Gohan.} HE'S THE KILLER!!!
Gohan: {pretends to vomit.} BLAH! {moves his hands up and down like he's throwing up his insides.} {audience screams.}
Mai: {starts to run.} AHH! {pretends to trip.} THE BONE WENT THROUGH MY LEG!!! {audience laughs.} {BUZZ}
Gamer: Croc Hunter!!!
{Mai starts crawling around the stage.}
Kuwabara: {like Steve Irwin.} OH! CRIKEY! {Audience laughs and cheers.} {points to Mai.} A beautiful example of bride, right there! You have to be careful when handling her though! {slowly approaches Mai. Gohan starts to growl and chases after Kuwabara. They run around the stage.} Danger, Danger! The jealous mate has decided to guard his territory! {BUZZ}
Gamer: Osbournes!
Gohan: {mumbling like Ozzy.} {shouts} ROCK N' ROLL!!! {audience goes wild.}
Mai: {laughing like Sharon.} Ozzy!
Kuwabara: {like Jack.} Dad! The neighbors are BLOOP singing "I got the whole BLOOP world in my BLOOP hand!"
Gohan: What the BLOOP do you want me to. {looks at the floor.} One of the BLOOP dogs BLOOP BLOOP on the BLOOP carpet!!! {audience laughs and cheers.}
Mai and Kuwabara: {as Jack and Kelly.} TELL THE NEIGHBORS TO SHUT THE BLOOP UP!!!
Gohan: STOP SHOUTING AT ME!!! {BUZZ}
Gamer: After School Special!
Kuwabara: {to Gohan.} Hey man! You can marry her! Just remember! {looks at the camera.} Always use protection! {audience laughs.}
Gohan: Don't worry man! I will. And don't forget! {looks at the camera.} Stay drug free!
Mai: I'm so glad you two are friends again! And I learned something, too! {looks at the camera.} The easiest way is to cross your legs! {audience, Gamer and C.J. laugh hysterically} {BUZZ}{BUZZ}{BUZZ}
Gamer: Thanks a lot guys! {audience cheers as the performers return to their seats.} That was great! A hundred jillion points for you guys! {audience cheers.} But then again.
The Performers: The points don't matter!
Gamer: That's right! Let go to the next game. This is for everyone! {the performers walk to the stage.} This is called World's Worst! This way this game works, you have to stand on the world's worst step. {they stand on the bottom step. The order is C.J., Mai, Gohan, and Kuwabara.} A come up with examples of the worlds worst. {reads a card.} person to camp with.
{C.J. walks up.} {BUZZ} {the audience laughs and C.J. glares at Gamer. He take a sep back. Kuwabara walks up.}
Kuwabara: Just 4 more cans of propane and we'll have the biggest fire in the forest! {BUZZ} {the audience laughs and he takes a step back.}
Mai: {walks up.} BEAR!!! {laughs.} {BUZZ} {audience laughs. She takes a step back.}
C.J.: {walks up.} {female voice.} Hi! I'm Miyuki! {BUZZ} {audience laughs loudly. C.J. then covers his crotch and shakes his head. Audience laughs even more. He walks back.}
Gohan: {walks up.} C'mon, Grandma! Let's go skinny-dipping!!! {BUZZ} {audience goes wild. He walks back.}
Mai: {walks up.} I hope my jealous boyfriend don't find us. {whispering.} He's got a gun. {BUZZ} {audience laughs. She walks back.}
Kuwabara: {walks up. Acts like he's holding a shotgun.} When I find the woman, I gonna pump her full of lead!!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and he walks back.}
C.J.: {walks up, looks at the ceiling and points up.} That cloud kinda looks like a *bleep*! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and he walks back.}
Gohan: {walks up.} No. Go ahead. Go take a bath. {turns his head and whispers to Kuwabara.} She's gonna take a bath. {Kuwabara smiles and nods.} {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheers as he walks back.}
C.J.: {walks up and looks at the ceiling.} And that cloud looks like *bleep*! 'Cept bigger! {audience laughs and cheers.} {BUZZ} {he walks back.}
Mai: {walks up.} I cut up the tent and made a summer outfit! {BUZZ} {audience laughs. {she pulls on the collar of her jacket.} Do you like it? {she walks back.}
Kuwabara: {walks up. Acts like he's filling a hole with a shovel. He looks at the camera.} No. I DON'T know where the other campers went. {BUZZ} {audience laughs. Kuwabara acts like he's hitting someone with his shovel. He walks back.}
Gohan: {walks up.} While you're taking a squat, I'll sing ya a hoe-down! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheers as Gohan walks back.}
{C.J. and Kuwabara both walk up. C.J. acts like he's playing a banjo. He then hums the Duel of Banjos from the movie, Deliverance. Kuwabara does the same. The audience laughs.} {BUZZ}
C.J.: Gonna make ya SQUEEEEEEAL like a piggy! {BUZZ} {audience laughs loudly and applauds as they walk back.} {BUZZ}{BUZZ{BUZZ}
Gamer: Hey! We'll find out who the winner is right after this!
}}commercial break{{
{scene fades in. The audience is applauding. Mai, Gamer, C.J., and Gohan are on stage will Kuwabara is at the desk.}
Gamer: Welcome back to Whose Line! Tonight's winner, Mai Valentine! {the audience cheers.} So she gets to do a game with me called Foreign Film Dub! What happens is, me and Mai are going to act out a scene speaking in a foreign language and Gohan and C.J. have to translate what're we're saying. What I need from the audience is a foreign language. {audience shouts out suggestions.} German! We have to speak in German. And if you were a German director, what would your German romance movie be? {audience shouts out suggestions.} Lederhosen! So the German movie is Lederhosen. Let's start. {C.J. and Gohan walk off stage.}
Mai: {fake German accent.} Ack! Blitzkurg dosen klitz en Guntherbur!
Gohan: Are you the famous exotic dancer, Guntherbur?
Gamer: {fake German accent.} Han se eckin, for sekin! Ah stupilier alla bit shosh. Snicker crowbar!
C.J.: I know my face isn't that good looking, but I am a hardcore dancer! {audience laughs.}
Mai: {fake German.} Plotz! Scappin tack orkin. uh. Dammin and heir and!
Gohan: You're personal said you will a tall, handsome young man. But you are the complete opposite! A not so tall, ugly, man! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: {fake German.} Docken blizgis untok grunta!
C.J.: I can't lie to you! I love you! Please say you love me! I have a weasel in my shirt! {audience laughs.}
Mai: {fake German} Lederhosen juz bouz giten blukan!
Gohan: Put on this tight leather pants and dance around! {audience laughs. Mai acts like she handing Gamer pants. He acts like he's putting them on.}
Gamer: {fake German.} Einen blakin lok. {singing and moving from left to right.} Hi horken, hi horken! Unden unten ein!
C.J.: Watch my dance! {singing.} I'm drunk, doin' a tipsy dance! Oops! I crapped my pants! {audience goes wild. Mai and Gamer laugh, too.}
Mai: {laughing.} {fake German accent.} Czec la slovin truin blitzhit donz grumpz!
Gohan: Quick! Put this wig on! It'll cover your hideous head! {audience laughs as Mai acts like she's handing Gamer a wig. Gamer put it on.}
Gamer: AH! {smiles.} {fake German accent.} Hollo tonk glitzen blitzen drickzen!
C.J.: Even though my hair looks good, I am still the ugliest man in Germany! {audience laughs and applauds. Gamer hangs his head and laughs.}
Mai: {fake German.} Aww. uberhor untersee booten blitznem gock! Moken tokin hock mockz!
Gohan: Don't worry! You still look better than the one they call "Christopher Julius!" {audience, and all the other performers laughs out loud.} {BUZZ}{BUZZ}{BUZZ} {the audience starts applauding.}
Gamer: That's all for tonight's show! See you again next time on "Whose Line is it Anyway!!!" {scene fades out.}
NOTE: As a special Halloween fanfic, I'm writing a Halloween Style Whose Line is it Anyway: Anime Craze episode. It will have Halloween style games and I'll even have the performers and host wear Halloween costumes. The performers will be C.J., Yolei (from Digimon), Hiei (from YuYu Hakusho) and Kenshin (from Rurouni Kenshin). C.J. will be a vampire, and Gamer will be a werewolf. I need ideas for the others' costumes. So add a review and put in your ideas for the performers' costumes. On the 30th, I'll begin writing the story, so get your ideas in before then. Please add a review and tell me how you feel about this fanfic.
Anime Craze! I don't own any anime or Whose Line. I only own Christopher Julius (my character) and Gamerctm (me).
Voice: Good evening and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" On tonight's show, {cut to C.J.} Not for anyone under 13, Christopher Julius! (from my Samurai Pizza Cats fanfic.) {cut to Mai.} Unsuitable for children, Mai Valentine! (from Yu-Gi-Oh!) {cut to Gohan (as an adult)} Must be 18 or older, Gohan! (from DBZ) And. {cut to Kuwabara.} Not for anyone at all, Kazuma Kuwabara! (from YuYu Hakusho) {cut to Gamerctm, who's in the audience.} And I'm your host, Gamer! C'mon lets have some fun! {walks to his desk.}
Gamer: Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" The show where everything made up and the points don't matter! Points don't matter just like "Blair Witch's" plot! {audience laughs.} If you never seen the show, our 4 performers have to make up everything off the top of their heads. No matter how empty. {looks at Kuwabara.} I give them fake points, just a gag to hold the show together. I total up the points and the winner gets to something special with me. {audience ohhs and whistles.} And the loser has to do it twice! {audience laughs.} Let's go to our first game. Let's Make a Date! {audience cheers as the performers walk to the stage and grab stools to sit on.} Mai is a contestant on a dating show, but unfortunately, her only choices are these guys. {points to the men performers.} And we have given them each a strange quirk or identity. {C.J. reads his card and chuckles. Gohan reads his and shakes his head. Kuwabara looks dumfounded at his.} And you have to guess who they are by asking them questions. So whenever you're ready.
Mai: Bachelor Number One.
C.J.: [shouting] YES!!! (Loud-Mouth Drill Sargent) {audience laughs}
Mai: Ohh. you gotta strong voice. Where would you take me on a romantic date?
C.J.: [shouting] {audience starts laughing}WE WILL GO ON A 20 LAP RUN AROUND THE WOODS, AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!!! AFTER THAT, 500 OF EACH!!! PUSH- UPS! CHIN-UPS! JUMPIN' JACKS! SIT-UPS! AND YOU WILL ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT! {audience applauds}
Mai: Sounds like fun. Bachelor Number 2.
Gohan: {panicked} WHAT?! Who said that? (Scared of Everything)
Mai: Take it easy. Bachelor Number 2. One of my favorite things to do is play Duel Monsters.
Gohan: {more panicked} MONSTERS!!! WHERE?! {looks around as the audience laughs. C.J. turns his head and looks at Gohan. When Gohan sees him, he yelps and winces back in fear. He's looking C.J. directly in the eyes.}
C.J.: {to Gohan.} [shouting] TAKE YOUR EYEBALLS OFF ME, YOU LILY LIVERED SACK OF CRAP!!! {audience roars with laughter.} DROP AND GIVE ME 200!!! NOW!!! {Gohan drops to the ground and starts doing push-ups. He's whimpering and shaking in fear.} FASTER! FASTER! {Gohan speeds up After a while C.J. and Gohan sit back on the stools and the audience applauds and cheers.}
Mai: Best thing about you, number 2, is that number 1 comes with you. Bachelor Number 3, my turn-ons include music, chocolate, and massages. What are your turn-ons?
Kuwabara: (high-class gentlemen turning into a were-wolf) [smoothly] My turn-ons include Be-autiful women, like you my fair damsel. {Mai giggles.} They also include slow dancing to soft music, dinner by candlelight, hunting and eating a fresh Gypsy and sniffing other peoples'. {audience laughs while Mai gasps.} What was the question again? {growls playfully.} grrrr. {growls more ferociously.} GRRRR. SNARL!!!
Gohan: {after hearing Kuwabara snarl.} AHH! {backs away from him and hits C.J. is the elbow. C.J. looks at him. The audience laughs. Gohan looks at him.} AHH! {backs off.}
Mai: Number 3. You sound like a wild animal! Back to you Number 1.
C.J.: [shouting] YES!
Mai: I love the outdoors.
C.J.: [shouting] GOOD! CAUSE WHEN WE START TRAINING, YOU WILL SLEEP, EAT, WORK, AND DO OTHER THINGS OUTSIDE YOUR LITTLE COMFY HOME!!! {looks in the audience. He shouts and points to someone.} YOU!!! GET DOWN HERE!!! {audience cheers and whistles.} RIGHT NOW!!! {from the audience, Van Freiheit from Zoids runs to the stage. He stops in front of C.J.} LISTEN TO ME, YOU UNDISCIPLED PUDDLE OF MUSH! BATTLE BREAK OUT, NO ONE IS YOUR FRIEND, NOT EVEN YOUR FRIENDS!!! RUN 20 TIMES AROUND THE STAGE AND BE QUICK ABOUT IT!!! {Van does as he's told and the audience cheers and applaud him. C.J. sits down.}
Mai: Wow. you can bring more guys with us! Bachelor Number 2. I want.
Gohan: [panicked] WHO CARES WHAT YOU WANT?! I'M SURROUNDED BY MAD MEN!!! {starts running around the stage with Van as the audience laughs.} SAVE ME!!! HELP ME!!! I'M GONNA DIE!!!
Mai: You must be fun at parties. Bachelor Number 3?
Kuwabara: {points his head up high.} HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLL!!! {the audience cheers during the middle.} GRRRRRRRR. {he jumps off the stage and thrashes around, screaming in agony, like he's turning into a were-wolf. When he's done, he and C.J. lock eyes.} GRRRRR. {acts like he's foaming at the mouth.}
C.J.: I've been killin' guys twice as big as you since before you were born. {shouts.} DROP AND GIVE ME 400!!! {Gohan runs towards Kuwabara then runs the other way. Kuwabara, on all fours, chases him down and acts like he catches and tears him to shreds. The audience screams. Gohan screams as this happens. Van runs up to C.J. and stops.} {to Van} Now you can do 20 more in the other di-rection. {shouts} MOVE!!! {Van runs the other way.} {BUZZ} {Van and C.J. shake hands. The audience cheers and applauds.} Thanks a lot! {Van runs back to his seat as C.J., Gohan and Kuwabara sit on the stools.}
Gamer: {to Van} What's your name?
Van: Van!
Gamer: You didn't do a full 20, Van. {audience laughs.} {to Mai.} Okay Mai! Who are they?
Mai: Well I choose Van. {the audience applauds and Van laughs.} Bachelor Number one was a Drill Sargent?
Gamer: Yes! {BUZZ} {the audience cheers.}
Mai: Number 2 is a fraidy cat?
Gamer: Close enough. {BUZZ} He's scared of everything.
Mai: And Number 3 is a rapid dog?
Gamer: No! He's changing into a what?
Mai: A werewolf!
Gamer: Yeah! {BUZZ} The audience cheers as the performers put the stools away and sit at their seats.} That was great! 1000 sit-ups to everyone! Lets move on to a game called, Song Styles! This is for C.J.!{audience starts cheering as Gamer goes up into the audience. C.J. walks to the stage and places a stool in the middle. Gamer stops in front of the Triad from YuYu Hakusho. He talks to the female ogre, Miyuki} What's your name? What do you do?
Miyuki: Miyuki. I'm a member of the Triad.
Gamer: C'mon down, Miyuki! Say hi to C.J.! {he and her walk to the stage. She shakes hands with C.J and sits cross-legged on the stool.} C.J., this is Miyuki, and you're gonna sing a song to her using her name and occupation. {he goes to the desk and reads a card.} And the style of the song is. you're Chef, from South Park! {audience cheers.} So when the music starts, sing a song about Miyuki, Chef! {romantic soul music starts playing.}
C.J.: {as Chef} Hey, children! {audience cheers and whistles.} {as Stan} Hey, Chef! {as Kyle} Chef. What's a Miyuki? {as Chef} A Miyuki is a beautiful demon woman, who Chef is gonna make sweet love to! {audience cheers and Miyuki blushes.} {singing as Chef.} Oh sweet, baby! Miyuki is her name! My name is Chef, and love-makin' is the game! {holds his hands up and jumps around like they do on South Park.} She's a beautiful lady, a sexy demon with hair of blue. Brace yourself, woman! I'll make hard love to you! {audience cheers and whistles as C.J. keeps jumping around.} Member of the Triad! Tough person to fight! When you come home, Chef will hold you tight! Make beautiful music together! Make love together! A wild love caper! You're pen and ink, I'm construction paper! {audience, Gamer, and Miyuki laughs.} Miyuki! Don't tremble to me sexy hand. We'll make sweet lov. {looks at her lap and yells in his normal voice.} YOU'RE A MAN!!! {falls down on the ground and backs away. Gamer, Miyuki, the performers and audience laughs wildly. C.J. gets up, runs to the back and acts like he's vomiting. He reluctantly walks back with a pale, scared face.} {as Chef} I just witnessed a horrible sight! Why didn't anyone tell me I'm singing to a transvestite?!?! {runs back to the back and fake vomits again.} {BUZZ} {the music stops and Miyuki walks back to her seat. The audience is still laughing.}
Gamer: {laughing.} Lets give it up. HAHAHAHA!!! for Miyuki! HAHAHA!!! {C.J. puts the stool away and walks back to his seat with a pale face. The laughter slowly stops.} HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, man! That was funny! 1000 points.{looks at C.J.} You look a little pale there, C.J. You didn't happen to see the.
C.J.: SHUT UP!!! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: {looks at the camera.} Aren't you glad this is a show the WHOLE family can watch? Mom and dad, the kids, grandma.
C.J.: I'm going to a Strip Joint and drink until I pass out! {audience cheers and whistles.}
Gamer: Are you sure she's. or he. wasn't a. "whatcamacallit?"
C.J.: I don't think she was a candy bar. {audience and performers laugh.}
Gamer: No! A. uh. {writes down something on a card, crumples it into a ball and throws it to C.J.. He catches it, unfolds it and reads it.}
C.J.: {eyes bug out.} OH S*bleep*!!! {crumples up the card and throws it off stage. The audience goes wild.}
Gamer: What do they call that?
C.J.: Traumatizing!
Gamer: {laughs.} Let's move on to game called Props! {Mai, Gohan, and Kuwabara walk on stage.} {to C.J.} This is for everyone.
C.J.: Okay. {walks on stage. The audience cheers.}
Gamer: {pulls from behind the desk two black, Styrofoam shark fin-like objects.} This is Mai and C.J.'s prop. {throws the fins to C.J. and Mai. He then pulls a giant, red, hollow, plastic mushroom top.} This is Gohan and Kuwabara's. {they take the prop.} The way this games works, the two teams have to go back and forth and find different uses for their prop. Starting with. Mai and C.J.
C.J.: {he and Mai are holding the fins on their backs.} These shark costumes well scare the crap out of those beach heads! {BUZZ} {audience laughs.}
{cut to Kuwabara and Gohan.}
Gohan: {holding the prop over his head.} If you look real closely, you'll see me in the movie, Fantasia! {puts the prop on his head, crotches down and dances around.} {BUZZ} {the audience laugh and applaud.}
{cut to Mai and C.J.}
Mai: {holding the fins over C.J.'s head with the tip touching each other.} Look out! It's the crane!
C.J.: AHH!!! {runs in place. The "crane"{ grabs his head.} NO!!! {gets pulled away.} {BUZZ} {audience laughs.}
{cut to Kuwabara and Gohan.}
Kuwabara: {looking at the prop that's laying on the ground with the smooth part up.} If that missile takes off, we're dead!!! RUN! {he and Gohan run in place.} {BUZZ} {the audience laughs.}
{cut to Mai and C.J., They're wearing the fins on their heads. They are facing the right.}
C.J. and Mai: We're evil Smurfs! We're evil Smurfs!!! {BUZZ} {the audience goes wild with laughter and applauds.}
{cut to Kuwabara and Gohan. They are standing under the prop, holding it over there heads..}
Gohan: We need a bigger umbrella. {Kuwabara nods his head.} {BUZZ} {audience laughs a little.}
{cut to Mai and C.J. C.J. has the fins over his hands. He's on his knees.}
C.J.: {barking and slapping his fins together like a seal.} Arf! Arf! Arf! {the audience laughs.}
Mai: Catch! {acts like she's throwing a fish to him. He eats it.} Good boy! {BUZZ}
{cut to Kuwabara and Gohan. They are holding different end of the prop and running around in a circle, giggling like child. The audience laughs and cheers.}
Kuwabara and Gohan: HEHEHEHEHEHE! HEHEHEHEHEHE!
Kuwabara: {lets go of the prop and spins away.} Whoa. {BUZZ}
{cut to Mai and C.J. He walks near the back and holds the fins on the wall, making them resemble a beak. Mai is looking at him.}
C.J.: I think you got TOO big a parrot, Mai! {audience laughs.} {BUZZ}
{cut to Kuwabara and Gohan. Gohan is holding the prop.}
Gohan: Wanna see my autographed Pamela Anderson falsie? {BUZZ} {the audience laughs and applauds.} {BUZZ}{BUZZ}{BUZZ}
Gamer: Thanks a lot guys! That was awesome! We'll be right back with more "Whose Line is it Anyway!" Stay right there!
}}commercial break{{
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering.}
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line!" Everything's made up and points don't matter. I'm Gamer, or as my Indian name is, "Wiener Tucked in Sock!" {audience laughs and whistles.} Lets go to a game called, Film, TV, and Theatre Styles! This is for Mai, Gohan, and Kuwabara! {audiences cheers as they walk to the stage.} I need from the audience suggestions of styles of film, TV, or theatre. {audience shouts out suggestions.} .Mobster. West Side Story. Horror. Croc Hunter. Osbournes!. After School Special. That's enough. So anyway, our performers well act out a scene. When I buzz them, they have to act out the scene with a different style. And the scene is. {reads a card.} Mai is a beautiful bride about to marry Gohan, her groom. Kuwabara, however has feelings for her and is trying to stop the wedding. So anytime you're ready. go!
Mai: {he and Gohan are holding hands.} Oh darling, I can hardly believe you and me shall be wed!
Gohan: This is the second best wedding I ever had! {audience laughs.} I've had 6 so far!
Mai: Hard to imagine they all left you for other men.
Gohan: Yes. THEY.left me.
Kuwabara: STOP!!! {jumps on stage.} {BUZZ}
Gamer: Mobster!
Gohan: {mob boss voice.} You're making a big mistake, chump! That last guy who interfered with my weddin' is wearing cement shoes at the bottom of Lake. I don't know which lake but it's a deep one!
Mai: {loud, piercing voice.} {hugs Gohan.} Oh, Tommy! {audience cheers.} You sure know how to show a girl a good time!
Kuwabara: {like the God-Father.} I've come tell ya, Angie. You can't marry this dirt bag. He's the one who ordered that hit man to whack your father!
Mai: {piercing voice.} {to Gohan}You told me he fell on top of those bullets!
Gohan: {mob boss voice.} I say lots of things, doll. Let's go get hitched before the drive-by shoots him and us with him. {BUZZ}
Gamer: West Side Story!
{Kuwabara and Gohan walk in a circle, staring at each other and snapping their fingers.}
Gohan: {singing.} When you're a groom, you always get the finest chicks! {audience cheers.}
Kuwabara: {singing.} I feel pretty. {audience laughs loudly.} Ohh so pretty. I feel pretty! {BUZZ}
Gamer: {laughing.} I didn't think you'd know the words guys. uh. Horror!
Mai: {whispering.} That sounded like bad singing! {audience laughs.}
Kuwabara: I don't think we're alone. {looks at Gohan.} HE'S THE KILLER!!!
Gohan: {pretends to vomit.} BLAH! {moves his hands up and down like he's throwing up his insides.} {audience screams.}
Mai: {starts to run.} AHH! {pretends to trip.} THE BONE WENT THROUGH MY LEG!!! {audience laughs.} {BUZZ}
Gamer: Croc Hunter!!!
{Mai starts crawling around the stage.}
Kuwabara: {like Steve Irwin.} OH! CRIKEY! {Audience laughs and cheers.} {points to Mai.} A beautiful example of bride, right there! You have to be careful when handling her though! {slowly approaches Mai. Gohan starts to growl and chases after Kuwabara. They run around the stage.} Danger, Danger! The jealous mate has decided to guard his territory! {BUZZ}
Gamer: Osbournes!
Gohan: {mumbling like Ozzy.} {shouts} ROCK N' ROLL!!! {audience goes wild.}
Mai: {laughing like Sharon.} Ozzy!
Kuwabara: {like Jack.} Dad! The neighbors are BLOOP singing "I got the whole BLOOP world in my BLOOP hand!"
Gohan: What the BLOOP do you want me to. {looks at the floor.} One of the BLOOP dogs BLOOP BLOOP on the BLOOP carpet!!! {audience laughs and cheers.}
Mai and Kuwabara: {as Jack and Kelly.} TELL THE NEIGHBORS TO SHUT THE BLOOP UP!!!
Gohan: STOP SHOUTING AT ME!!! {BUZZ}
Gamer: After School Special!
Kuwabara: {to Gohan.} Hey man! You can marry her! Just remember! {looks at the camera.} Always use protection! {audience laughs.}
Gohan: Don't worry man! I will. And don't forget! {looks at the camera.} Stay drug free!
Mai: I'm so glad you two are friends again! And I learned something, too! {looks at the camera.} The easiest way is to cross your legs! {audience, Gamer and C.J. laugh hysterically} {BUZZ}{BUZZ}{BUZZ}
Gamer: Thanks a lot guys! {audience cheers as the performers return to their seats.} That was great! A hundred jillion points for you guys! {audience cheers.} But then again.
The Performers: The points don't matter!
Gamer: That's right! Let go to the next game. This is for everyone! {the performers walk to the stage.} This is called World's Worst! This way this game works, you have to stand on the world's worst step. {they stand on the bottom step. The order is C.J., Mai, Gohan, and Kuwabara.} A come up with examples of the worlds worst. {reads a card.} person to camp with.
{C.J. walks up.} {BUZZ} {the audience laughs and C.J. glares at Gamer. He take a sep back. Kuwabara walks up.}
Kuwabara: Just 4 more cans of propane and we'll have the biggest fire in the forest! {BUZZ} {the audience laughs and he takes a step back.}
Mai: {walks up.} BEAR!!! {laughs.} {BUZZ} {audience laughs. She takes a step back.}
C.J.: {walks up.} {female voice.} Hi! I'm Miyuki! {BUZZ} {audience laughs loudly. C.J. then covers his crotch and shakes his head. Audience laughs even more. He walks back.}
Gohan: {walks up.} C'mon, Grandma! Let's go skinny-dipping!!! {BUZZ} {audience goes wild. He walks back.}
Mai: {walks up.} I hope my jealous boyfriend don't find us. {whispering.} He's got a gun. {BUZZ} {audience laughs. She walks back.}
Kuwabara: {walks up. Acts like he's holding a shotgun.} When I find the woman, I gonna pump her full of lead!!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and he walks back.}
C.J.: {walks up, looks at the ceiling and points up.} That cloud kinda looks like a *bleep*! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and he walks back.}
Gohan: {walks up.} No. Go ahead. Go take a bath. {turns his head and whispers to Kuwabara.} She's gonna take a bath. {Kuwabara smiles and nods.} {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheers as he walks back.}
C.J.: {walks up and looks at the ceiling.} And that cloud looks like *bleep*! 'Cept bigger! {audience laughs and cheers.} {BUZZ} {he walks back.}
Mai: {walks up.} I cut up the tent and made a summer outfit! {BUZZ} {audience laughs. {she pulls on the collar of her jacket.} Do you like it? {she walks back.}
Kuwabara: {walks up. Acts like he's filling a hole with a shovel. He looks at the camera.} No. I DON'T know where the other campers went. {BUZZ} {audience laughs. Kuwabara acts like he's hitting someone with his shovel. He walks back.}
Gohan: {walks up.} While you're taking a squat, I'll sing ya a hoe-down! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheers as Gohan walks back.}
{C.J. and Kuwabara both walk up. C.J. acts like he's playing a banjo. He then hums the Duel of Banjos from the movie, Deliverance. Kuwabara does the same. The audience laughs.} {BUZZ}
C.J.: Gonna make ya SQUEEEEEEAL like a piggy! {BUZZ} {audience laughs loudly and applauds as they walk back.} {BUZZ}{BUZZ{BUZZ}
Gamer: Hey! We'll find out who the winner is right after this!
}}commercial break{{
{scene fades in. The audience is applauding. Mai, Gamer, C.J., and Gohan are on stage will Kuwabara is at the desk.}
Gamer: Welcome back to Whose Line! Tonight's winner, Mai Valentine! {the audience cheers.} So she gets to do a game with me called Foreign Film Dub! What happens is, me and Mai are going to act out a scene speaking in a foreign language and Gohan and C.J. have to translate what're we're saying. What I need from the audience is a foreign language. {audience shouts out suggestions.} German! We have to speak in German. And if you were a German director, what would your German romance movie be? {audience shouts out suggestions.} Lederhosen! So the German movie is Lederhosen. Let's start. {C.J. and Gohan walk off stage.}
Mai: {fake German accent.} Ack! Blitzkurg dosen klitz en Guntherbur!
Gohan: Are you the famous exotic dancer, Guntherbur?
Gamer: {fake German accent.} Han se eckin, for sekin! Ah stupilier alla bit shosh. Snicker crowbar!
C.J.: I know my face isn't that good looking, but I am a hardcore dancer! {audience laughs.}
Mai: {fake German.} Plotz! Scappin tack orkin. uh. Dammin and heir and!
Gohan: You're personal said you will a tall, handsome young man. But you are the complete opposite! A not so tall, ugly, man! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: {fake German.} Docken blizgis untok grunta!
C.J.: I can't lie to you! I love you! Please say you love me! I have a weasel in my shirt! {audience laughs.}
Mai: {fake German} Lederhosen juz bouz giten blukan!
Gohan: Put on this tight leather pants and dance around! {audience laughs. Mai acts like she handing Gamer pants. He acts like he's putting them on.}
Gamer: {fake German.} Einen blakin lok. {singing and moving from left to right.} Hi horken, hi horken! Unden unten ein!
C.J.: Watch my dance! {singing.} I'm drunk, doin' a tipsy dance! Oops! I crapped my pants! {audience goes wild. Mai and Gamer laugh, too.}
Mai: {laughing.} {fake German accent.} Czec la slovin truin blitzhit donz grumpz!
Gohan: Quick! Put this wig on! It'll cover your hideous head! {audience laughs as Mai acts like she's handing Gamer a wig. Gamer put it on.}
Gamer: AH! {smiles.} {fake German accent.} Hollo tonk glitzen blitzen drickzen!
C.J.: Even though my hair looks good, I am still the ugliest man in Germany! {audience laughs and applauds. Gamer hangs his head and laughs.}
Mai: {fake German.} Aww. uberhor untersee booten blitznem gock! Moken tokin hock mockz!
Gohan: Don't worry! You still look better than the one they call "Christopher Julius!" {audience, and all the other performers laughs out loud.} {BUZZ}{BUZZ}{BUZZ} {the audience starts applauding.}
Gamer: That's all for tonight's show! See you again next time on "Whose Line is it Anyway!!!" {scene fades out.}
NOTE: As a special Halloween fanfic, I'm writing a Halloween Style Whose Line is it Anyway: Anime Craze episode. It will have Halloween style games and I'll even have the performers and host wear Halloween costumes. The performers will be C.J., Yolei (from Digimon), Hiei (from YuYu Hakusho) and Kenshin (from Rurouni Kenshin). C.J. will be a vampire, and Gamer will be a werewolf. I need ideas for the others' costumes. So add a review and put in your ideas for the performers' costumes. On the 30th, I'll begin writing the story, so get your ideas in before then. Please add a review and tell me how you feel about this fanfic.