Chapter Fifteen :: Acceptance

Early the next morning Beast Boy and Starfire were sitting at the kitchen table silently eating breakfast. Robin had cried himself to sleep on the couch. He hadn't woken up when they came into the kitchen to get food, so they decided to let him sleep.

Cyborg came up the elevator carrying a sleeping Raven in his arms. He took her straight to her room and laid her down into her bed. He walked out of her room to see BB and Star standing outside waiting for him.

"She's fine, just depressed and really tired. I've got to go down and fill her prescriptions. I'll be back later. Keep Rob away from her." Cyborg walked past. He looked tired and worried. He knew it would be up to him to keep the peace and sanity among the group, and he wasn't really looking forward to it.

Cyborg got in the T-car and drove out of sight. Starfire decided she would stay near Raven's bedroom door to allow her to get the most sleep she could, while Beast Boy was going to keep his eye on Robin to make sure that he didn't bother Raven. It turned out to be far easier than they thought. Robin slept till 1pm and then immediately locked himself in his bedroom. Cyborg came back and took over Starfire's guarding post.

Before they left the hospital, Raven had told Cyborg that she didn't really want to see anybody, not for a few days. He told her he would make it happen, but that she would have to compromise to seeing him so he could make sure she was eating right and taking her medicine on time. She had agreed. She mostly just wanted Robin to stay away from her.

Things progressed slowly over the next week. Raven remained locked in her room, crying or meditating the time away when she wasn't asleep. Cyborg had flat out told Robin to stay away, and Robin knew it was the best thing he could possibly do right now, giving her space and all. Starfire and Beast Boy had taken to staying away from the tower. They didn't feel comfortable there. They were too happy of people and things in the tower were just too depressing for them to handle.

Raven had been meditating for two days straight. She was off her medication so she didn't have to worry about Cyborg bothering her every four hours. She would stop long enough to eat, and then would float back up into a meditative state. Cyborg normally would've been bothered by this, but he knew things were bad when her emotions were not in control. He let things continue the way they were just because he prayed that she would be able to control things and then everything would be better.

Thursday morning, Raven finally emerged from her bedroom. She went in the bathroom and took a long hot shower. When she was done she went back to her bedroom and put on a pair of black pants and a loose purple sweater. She walked to the living area. BB and Star had gone out for the day to an amusement park. Cyborg and Robin were sitting on the couch watching a movie that neither seemed to really be interested in. Robin had been depressing to be around all week. He had barely spoken because he knew better than to ask about Raven.

Raven walked to the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea. Robin and Cyborg had heard her, but neither dared to look back although they both were dying to ask how she was feeling. She took a sip of her tea.

"Robin. We need to talk." She said it simply, and in the monotone voice that everyone had been so used to, and then she simply walked back to her bedroom.

"Guess you better see what she wants Rob..." Cyborg said before turning back to the movie.

Robin got up nervously. He wasn't sure what was about to happen and he wasn't really looking forward to it. She had rejected his marriage proposal and he was sad about it. He was serious when he had asked her to marry him. He really did love her and he did want to be with her forever. He had felt his heart break when she turned him down.

He reached her bedroom door. It was open and she was sitting on her bed, her back turned to the door.

"Close the door behind you" she called over her shoulder.

He stepped in cautiously. He didn't know what to expect. He did as she had told him and closed the door behind him. Then he stood there, like an idiot for about 5 minutes before she stood up and walked over to him. She stood two feet away, looking into his face as he let his gaze avoid her eyes. He felt like a dog with his tail between his legs, slowly emerging out of the dog house to see if he were still being punished. She stared at him for what felt like forever, but was merely a minute and a half. Then she did something he never could've been prepared for. Something he never would've expected.

She jumped into his arms, and hugged him.

She hugged him tightly. He was afraid, but gradually and gently hugged her back. Finally she stepped back.

"I forgive you" was all she said. But it was enough. He pulled her back into his arms and there they stood. Two lovers in the darkness of her room. He was no where near in the clear. But at least for now, she had forgiven him. She reached up and kissed his lips gently, but pulled away before he had the time to react and kiss her back.

Let me know that you hear me

Let me know your touch

Let me know that you love me

And let that be enough

An hour had past since Raven had told Robin that they needed to talk. They were sitting on her bed, mostly in silence. She had been leaning into his arms. She wanted to be held, and no one could hold her the way he could, she didn't want anyone else to hold her the way that he could. He couldn't handle the silence any longer.

"So...Are you ok Rae?"

She shook her head.

"No, but I will be. I wasn't meant to have that child. And things are clearer to me because of the loss of it."

He remained silent, taking in what she had said.

"I am still upset with you about how you acted towards our baby, but I forgive you for that. It hurt more that you didn't love me enough to love that child than you not wanting to be part of its life."

He looked over at her. She was hurting inside, but she wasn't empty, she looked almost happy.

"What had you wanted?"

"I wanted you to love me, and be close. I wanted you to love our child. I just wanted us to be together. I wanted us to be a family. You to be the father to our child that I never knew, and I wanted to be the mother to our baby, the mother I never knew. I just wanted us to be together. I wanted love. I wanted to just let that be enough. But it just wasn't enough for you. So my plans broke."

She looked up at him and kissed him softly, gently, deeply. When she pulled herself away she buried herself deep within his arms and whispered, "I love you Richard".

"I love you too Rae. I love you too."