Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Anime Craze! I don't own any anime or Whose Line. I only own Christopher Julius (my character) and Gamerctm (me).
Voice: Good evening and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" On tonight's show, {cut to C.J.} 24/7 gamer! Christopher Julius! (from my SPC fics.} {cut to Android 17.} Game activist!! Android 17! (from DBZ) {cut to Kagome.} Video Wizard! Kagome Higurashi! (from Inuyasha) And... {cut to Crono} Video game character!!! Crono! (from the game, Chrono Trigger.) {cut to Gamer, who's in the audience.} And I'm your host, Gamer! Time for some fun! {walks down to his desk.}
Gamer: Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, like the crappy, Virtualboy! {audience laughs.} Doesn't matter. This is our special Salute to Video Games! {audience applauds and cheers.} This was actually inspired by my friend and fellow author, Requiem Darkness! Give it up for her! {audience cheers and applauds as the camera cut to Requiem Darkness, who's in the audience.} We even have a special guest performer, from the hit game, Chrono Trigger, Crono! {audience cheers.}
Crono: It's good to be here, Gamer!
C.J.: Hate to break it to ya pal, but if you end up on this show, your career is down the crapper, basically. {audience laughs}
Gamer: Speaking of which, you're cleaning the toilets after the show, C.J. Hey! What do ya know? You're career started in a toilet, it's gonna end in one! {audience laughs.} Let's to our first game, Award Show! This is for everyone! {audience cheers as the performers walk on stage. C.J. grabs a podium off stage and sets it on the stage.} What's gonna happen is the performers are gonna act out an award show, but not like those celebrity shows. No, this is the Awards for Gaming show! Kagome and 17 are the hosts and C.J. and Crono are the nominees. They will stand in the audience and wait and hope they win. So whenever you're ready, take it away! {C.J. and Chrono go into the audience. Kagome and 17 stand behind the podium.}
Kagome: Welcome to the 500th weekly, Game Award Show!!! {audience cheers and applauds.} We have a great show for you tonight! Isn't that right 17?
17: {looking up.} {mechanically.} Yes. We do have an excellent show for you tonight. "Wave to audience."
Kagome: Uh... {whispering.} You don't need to read the actions, and try to sound more excited.
17: {looks at her.} {still mechanic} What? {audience laughs.}
Kagome: Are you still set on mechanical? {reaches behind his head.} Where is that switch? Got it!
17: We gotta grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat show for you tonight!!! YEAH!!! {audience laughs and cheer.}
Kagome: A little lower maybe? {reaches behind his head again.}
17: {speaks in Spanish. Audience is still laughing. Kagome goes behind his head one more time.} {normal.} Here are the nominees!
Kagome: That's better.
17: {cut to 2 random people in the audience. It's Link and Zelda . (from the Legend of Zelda series.) } Our first nominees are Dan and Pat Horke, for their number one book, "Tetris: The Alternate Kamasutra."{audience laughs, whistles and cheers.}
Kagome: I though some of the positions in that book were impossible! You ever try "The L and T formation?" {audience cheer even more.}
17: That's disturbing coming from a 15-year-old...
Kagome: Our next nominee... {cuts to Vivi. (from FF9.} Mr. I Ron Butterfly. For converting the Space Invaders theme into a rock ballad. {audience laughs.}
17: I heard it! It's like... {rock singer voice.} Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun! {audience cheers.} It gets a lot quicker in the end! And a lot harder to hit. And now the last nominees... {cut to C.J. and Crono.} Frat brothers, Bobby and Jimmy Smithy, for their drinking game where anytime you look at Lara Croft's butt, you gotta drink a beer! {audience laughs.}
Kagome: Lot of men run out of beer after the first few minutes.
17: Of course. And the winner of the award for "Person with Too Much Free Time" is...
Kagome and 17: Bobby and Jimmy Smithy!!! {audience cheers and applauds.}
{C.J. and Crono leap out of their seats.}
C.J. and Crono: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! {they head butt each other.} WOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! {they start to walk down to the stage and shake hands with all the people they pass.}
C.J.: Ahh... C'mon! {he hugs one of the audience members, Daisy (from the Mario games.) He breaks away, but Daisy hugs his arm.}
Daisy: {laughing.} Don't go!
C.J.: I gotta go, baby! {he follows Crono down to the podium.} WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Crono: Ah man! This is the greatest thing to ever happen to us since the Super Bowl Halftime show this year! {audience laughs.}
C.J.: Yeah dude! I tell. If I knew drinking beer while watching Lara's booty would bring us here, we would've cashed in years ago!
Crono: I wanna thank my girlfriend, Katie. WE DID IT, BABY!!! {audience cheers.} If she's watching... I think we should see other people... {audience laughs.}
C.J.: Dude...that's no cool... Can I have her bro.!?!?
Crono: Yeah dude! {audience cheers as they head butt each other again.}
C.J.: We also wanna thank the reason we're here at this show... beer!
Crono: BEER! {audience cheers.} And ice!
C.J.: Ice! Ice is the greatest invention ever!
Crono: I don't know who made it. But he must be rich! D-dude! I got an idea!
C.J.: What is it?
Crono: We should make ice... but it's liquid ice. {audience laughs.}
C.J.: Bro.... That is the greatest idea ever!!! {he punches him in the shoulder.}
Crono: {hits him back.} Who you think you're hittin'?
C.J.: {punches him back.} You... baby brother!
{they start to fake fight each other. The audience is laughing and cheering. They fall to the ground and keep punching each other.} {BUZZ} {The audience cheers. They stop fighting and shake hands. They then walk back to their seats.}
Gamer: Don't you wish all award shows could be like that? Speaking of which, it's been over a week since the Janet Jackson flash incident at the Super Bowl Halftime show. And at the Grammies this Sunday, Justin Timberlake, her singing partner during that act, said and I quote. "It wasn't intentional, it was regrettable, and I apologize if we offended you guys." I think I speak for every man in the world when I say... We forgive you, we know it was an accident, and we can only hope that it happens again! {men in the audience start to cheer.} Let's go to our next game, Song Styles! This is for C.J.! {audience cheers as C.J. walks on stage and sets a stool there.} Of course, this is a Video Game style show, so the person you'll be singing to will be the one...the only... Rayman!!! {audience cheer and applaud as Rayman walks over to the stool from the behind the studio. He waves to his fans, shakes C.J.'s hand and sits down.} Something wrong, C.J.?
C.J.: I thought you said "Rain-man!" {audience laughs.} 'Bout to say, Rain- man doesn't have a video game!
17: {imitating Rain Man} Big hoodlums! Big hoodlums with big guns! {audience laughs.} Big guns!
Gamer: This is another suggestion from Requiem Darkness!
Rayman: Don't remind me... I though she liked me enough not to make me go though with this!
Gamer: I'd suggest that you should bite your arms will he sings, but someone beat ya to it! {audience laughs.} Just kiddin'... All right C.J., the style you're singing in is NickelBack! {audience cheers.} So let's get started! {Hero (without the vocals) starts playing.}
C.J.: {singing.} He has no arms, but it's not a problem! He has no legs, but it's not a problem! Hoodlums better... watch out cause he'll kick their asses!!! And they say, that Rayman will save us! But he can't even grow arms! {audience laughs and cheer.} He's to the rescue, when Hoodlum's mean us harm! {pause.} He can fly in the air. When his head is in helicopter mode! Hoodlums try to get him, when they lock and load! But with his fists of fury! And limb less body, he saves the day! When he comes into town, Hoodlums better run the other way! And they say that Rayman will save us! He's the limb less wonder we adore! I don't know much about your game. I'm still stuck on level 4! {audience laughs.} {during the instrumental, C.J. pretends to play a guitar. The audience cheers.} You didn't wanna be sung to. I don't know what to tell you. At least you don't have to sing, when a big, fat jerk with a buzzer tells you to! {audience laugh and cheers.} And they save that Rayman will save us! When evil is about to strike and occur! Can you please save me from the jerk with a buzzer! The jerk with a...
Rayman: Buzzer!
C.J.: Jerk with a...
Rayman: Buzzer!
C.J.: Jerk with a BUZZER!!!
Rayman: Yeah! {singing.} The jerk with a...
C.J.: Buzzer!
Rayman: Jerk with a...
C.J.: Buzzer!
Rayman: Jerk with a BUZZER!!! {audience cheers.}
Both: The jerk with a buzzer! The jerk with a buzzer! The jerk with a buzzer!
C.J.: Yeah! Whoooooooooooooooooaaaaa... {the song ends.} {BUZZ} {the audience cheers and applauds. C.J. and Rayman each bow to the audience and Rayman walks into a seat in the audience. C.J. walks back to his seat.} I had a hard time singing that one. That was all I could think of.
Gamer: 10,000 points to Crono. 10,000 points to 17. 10,000 points to Kagome. And C.J... the big fat jerk with a buzzer says, "He hopes you have good luck finding a new job." {audience laughs.} Let's go to the next game... {pulls out a Luigi Hat.} Scenes from a Hat! {audience cheers as the performers walk on stage. Kagome and 17 are on the left side. C.J. and Crono the right.} What we do is before the show, our audience gives us suggestions of what they want to see on the show. We take all the GOOD ones, get rid of the bad ones, and pull them out of this hat and our performers out it out. {pulls a paper out of the hat.} "Strange things to collect in video games." {audience laughs.}
17: {walks up and pretends to look for something.} Now where is that welfare check? {BUZZ} {audience laughs as he walks off.}
Crono: {walks up.} {elderly voice.} Help find grandma's teeth and a tube of Bengay! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as he walks off}
C.J.: Help find Gamer a girlfriend, and you shall obtain... The Golden Buzzer... {BUZZ} {audience laugh as he walks back.}
Gamer: The big fat jerk with a buzzer thanks you for that. {audience laughs.} {reads a paper.} "Alternate Game Endings that failed."
{Kagome and 17 walk on stage.}
Kagome You saved me Mario!
17: I'ma Luigi.
Kagome: Oh... {turns around.} Save me Mario!!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs. They walk off.}
Crono: {walks up.} Now that you have beaten Rayman, you'll hear a special from C.J. {BUZZ} {singing.} Big fat jerk with a... {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheer. He walks off.}
{Kagome and C.J. walk on.}
Kagome: Link. You must give me the ocarina, if you wish to return home... {C.J. pretends to hand her something and she wipes it with her sleeve.} When was the last time you cleaned this!?!?!? {BUZZ} {audience laughs ad they walk off.}
{Crono and 17 walk up.}
Crono: Shadow! Me gotta stop the A.R.K.!
17: Before we go, can I ask you something?
Crono: What?
17: How can we breathe in space? {audience laughs. They grab their necks like they're running out of oxygen. The audience laughs and cheer harder.} {BUZZ} {they walk off.}
Gamer: Alright. {reads a paper.} "What dolls are really thinking when you poke their tummies." (suggested by Requiem Darkness) {audience laughs.}
{Kagome and C.J. walk up. She pokes his stomach.}
C.J.: {demonic} Urge to kill...rising... {laughs like a doll.} Hahahahahaha! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as they walk off.}
{Kagome and 17 walk up. She pokes his stomach.}
17: What the {bleep} is up with that?!?! {audience laughs.} {BUZZ} Do I look like the {bleep} Doughboy?!?!? {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheers as they walk off.}
{Kagome and C.J. walk up. She pokes his stomach.}
C.J.: That's it! A little lower... {audience laughs.} {doll voice.} I WUV YOU!!! {BUZZ} {audience is roaring with laughter. They walk off.}
{Kagome and Crono walk up. He pokes her stomach.}
Kagome: I wonder if GI Joe is doing Barbie? }BUZZ} {audience roars with laughter. Gamer is laughing too. They walk off.}
Gamer: {laughing.} Oh, man! I thought I had a dirty mind! That was really funny. {reads another paper.} "If the police solved crimes like the Scooby Gang." {audience laughs.}
{All 4 performers walk up.}
17: {Freddy voice.} So after the suspect choked the life outta Mr. Smith with his own intestines, he dropped the body in the river and fled the scene.
Kagome: Jinkies! {audience laughs}
C.J.: {speaking like Scooby.} Roinks! Rhatta Rick Run of a Ritch!
Crono: That's right Scooby. We're dealing with one sick son of a .... {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheer. They all walk off.}
Gamer: All right... {reads another paper.} "Strange things to yell out during sex.." {audience laughs.}
C.J.: {walks up.} {pretends to hold a ticket} {yells out.} Number 47!!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheer. He walks off.}
17: {walks up.} I love you... whatever your name is!!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheer. He walks off}
Gamer: Okay... {reads another paper.} "Bad thing to do while drunk."
{C.J. and 17 walk up.}
17: {staggering} You might wanna stand still for this bris! I had some Jack Daniels and I'm a little tipsy. {BUZZ} {audience laughs. They walk off.}
Crono: {walks up.} {slurred} The points don't matter! {BUZZ. {audience laughs as he walks off.}
{C.J., Crono and 17 all walk on stage. The other 2 surround C.J.}
C.J.: {slurred} I could take on all 4 of you little girls! {Crono and 17 start to fake beat him up.} HAHAHA!!! HELP!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as they walk off stage. C.J. walks back up with Kagome. They look at each other.} {slurred.} I'd say I love ya baby... but I don't know if you'll still be pretty when I'm sober... {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheers as Kagome fakes slaps him.} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {audience applauds.}
Gamer: We have a lot more fun on this show. But we gotta see a commercial! We'll be right back! {scene fades out.}
}}commercial break{{
{scene fades in. But the audience isn't applauding and Gamer isn't at his desk. C.J. and Requiem Darkness are on the stage showing a home movie to the audience.}
Requiem Darkness: I thought he had too much sugar.
C.J.: He just has a fear of singing toys.
{On the TV, Gamer is shouting at a Billy Bass singing novelty}
}}on the TV{{
Bass: {singing Blue Moon}
Gamer: AHH!!! Singing fish!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! {starts singing along. The audience is laughing at the scene. So are the other performers. The scene changes to Gamer surrounded by singing toy hamsters.}
Hamsters: {singing Bad to the Bone.}
Gamer: HELP!!! GO TO HELL YOU SINGING RODENTS!!! {starts singing along.} {audience is laughing and cheering ad he dances around goofily.}
}}on the stage.{{
{Gamer can be heard walking from behind the studio. Requiem quickly runs back to her seat while C.J. gets rid of the TV and goes back to his seat. The audience cheers as he Gamer walks to his desk.}
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" Show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. I'm your host Gamer, or as the ladies call me... "Hey you hiding in the bushes!" {audience laughs.} Before I came out here there was a lot of laughing and cheering. What were ya doin'?
C.J.: Just a few impressions... wanna see my singing bass?
Gamer: NO! No...no...no... {audience laughs.} Let's just go to our next game... Film, TV, and Video Games! This is for C.J., 17, and Kagome! {audience applauds as they walk on stage.} Of course, this will be slightly different than the regular Film, TV, and Theatre styles. Our performers are gonna act out a scene, but when I buzz them, I'll give them a different style of VIDEO GAME tat they have to act out. What I need from the audience is the name of your favorite Video Games. {audience starts to shout out suggestion.} Splinter Cell...Pokemon...Pac-man... Mortal Kombat... Donkey Kong... Pitfall... that should be enough. Okay, so now we know what the styles are, here's the scene. 17 and C.J. are two rival pizza makers, who are trying to win the affection of the beautiful customer, Kagome. So whenever you're ready, take it away!
{Kagome walks off stage. C.J. and 17 pretend to flip pizzas in the air.}
17: {singing in Italian.} That's a gooda pizza! Gonna toss you off right!
C.J.: {pretends to holds a gun and shoot 17's pizza.} BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! {audience laughs as 17 looks at his pretend pizza.} {fake Italian} Hey! It musta be Sunday, cause your pizza's so holy! {he and the audience laughs.}
17: {fake Italian} What'sa matter wit' you! You boonco!
C.J.: {fake Italian} Who you callin' a boonco! Spaz!
{they start to argue. The audience laugh as they make strange hands gestures and shout in fake Italian.}
Kagome: Ding-Dong!
C.J.: {fake Italian} I wasn't away we hada doorbell! {audience laughs.}
Kagome: Excuse me. {walks on stage.}
17: {fake Italian} Ohhh... It's a beautiful bella!
C.J.: {fake Italian} Never mind the bella. That chick is hot! {audience laughs and cheer. They both run up to Kagome.} {BUZZ}
Gamer: Splinter Cell!
{C.J. sneaks behind 17 and pretends to knock him out. 17 gets K.O.ed. The audience laughs as C.J. drags him into the shadowed corner. C.J. runs back to Kagome.}
C.J.: {speaking quickly.} You have just witnessed top secret activity being top secretly active. You must forget all that you have seen here, or you will be neutralized. You understand?
Kagome: Yes. {C.J. turns around and she hits him in the head. K.O.ing him. He falls to the ground and the audience laughs. She pretends to hit a buzzer .} {imitating buzzer.}
C.J.: The alarm! {he jumps to his feet and runs to the shadowed corner. 17 drags him out and they fake fight.} {BUZZ}
Gamer: Pokemon!
C.J.: {17 and he stand apart from each other.} Go! Pizzachu! {audience laughs as he walks like a Pokemon.} Burning Cheese attack! {wave his hand towards 17.} Whoosh!
17: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! {audience laughs as he runs around franticly.}
Kagome: Go get him! I choose you, Mozzarellager! {audience laughs and cheers as she runs like a Pokemon towards C.J. and tackles him.} {BUZZ}
Gamer: Pac-man!
17: Wakka-wakka-wakka-wakka-wakka! {audience laugh as he runs around the stage like Pac-man. C.J. and Kagome chase him around like the ghosts. The audience laughs and cheers as they run up in the audience and back down. 17 gets caught and he makes the lose noise and falls to the ground. The audience is laughing and cheering.} {BUZZ}
Gamer: Mortal Kombat!
{17 jumps to his feet.}
17: You are no match for me! I will annihilate you!
C.J.: {strikes fighting pose.} You are wrong! I shall rip the head clean off your shoulders and stick it in a place doth sun doesn't shine! {audience laughs.}
Kagome: ...... TOASTY!!! {audience laughs and cheer.}
{C.J. and 17 start to fake fight. After a while...}
C.J.: Babatility!
17: {crawls like a baby.} Wah! Wah! {audience laughs.}
C.J.: For the creators to think up this, proves one thing. They have too much free time on their hands! {audience laughs and cheer.}
Kagome: TOASTY!?!? {audience laughs.} {BUZZ}
Gamer: Donkey Kong!
{17 acts like an ape and scoops up Kagome and go up the stairs. C.J. starts running left and right across the stage. The audience is cheering. He jumps up and sown as 17 pretends to throw barrels. After a while, 17 pretends to throw...something... out of his butt. The audience roars with laughter. C.J. pretends to get hit and makes the game over noise and falls to the ground.} {BUZZ} {the audience is still laughing and cheering.}
Gamer: Pitfall!
{17 make the swinging noise and pretends to swing on a vine.}
17: How long do I have to hold this {bleep} vine! My arm hurts! {audience laughs and cheer.} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {the audience applauds as the performers return to their seats.}
Gamer: You know, that was a little unfair for everyone except C.J. since he does work at a pizzeria. So 4000 points to everyone but him.
C.J.: You know what the funny thing is? That scene we acted out. That's exactly what happens at work. {audience laughs.}
C.J.: Makes me feel safer about pizza. Let's go to our next game, Sound Effects! This is for Crono and Kagome! {audience cheers as they walk on stage. Gamer goes into the audience and stops next to a couple in the audience.} Hi! what's your name?
Woman: Taki.
Man: Assassin. (both from the game Soul Caliber 2)
Gamer: Well guess what. You guys are winners! C'mon down! {audience cheers as he 3 of them head to the stage. Taki and Assassin stand off stage while Gamer heads to his desk. He hands them microphones.} Taki, that's Kagome. Assassin that's Crono. What you two are gonna do is while Crono and Kagome act out a scene, when they prompt you to, provide the sound effects throughout the whole scene. The scene is... Bonnie, who is Kagome, and Clyde, who is Crono, are escaping the police after a bank robbery. So when ever you're ready... go!
Crono: {looking to the right.} And I want it all in Golden Dollar Coins! You hear me?
Kagome: {pretends to hold a machine gun.} And to show we ain't kiddin'! {points the "gun" in the air.}
Taki: Bang! Bang! Bang!
Kagome: I thought I packed more bullets than 3... {audience laughs.}
Taki: Bang bang bang bang bang!
Kagome: There it is! {audience laughs.}
Crono: Don't you touch the alarm! He touched the alarm!!!
Assassin: Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!
Kagome: The cops are here already! {audience laughs and cheer.}
Crono: Man that's fast! Let's go, baby! {they pretend to get into a car. Hey slam the "doors"}
Assassin: Jam!
Crono: The door is jammed! {audience laughs.}
Kagome: {slamming her door rapidly.} Mine won't close!
Taki: Whack!
Kagome: Stupid duck's blocking the door! {audience laughs as she pretends to throw something.}
Crono: I'll start the car. {pretends to turn a key.}
Assassin: Err Err Err!
Crono: It's dead! {audience laughs.}
Kagome: Try again! Maybe it will make the "vroom vroom" sound it's supposed to make.
{Crono turns the key again.}
Taki and Assassin: Vroom! Vroom! Vroom! {audience applauds.}
Crono: We must have to motors in this car! Better floor it!
Taki: VROOM! ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! VROOM!!!
Assassin: SREECH!!!
Kagome: We hit a cat! {audience laughs.}
Taki: Mew meow.
Crono: He's okay. {audience laughs.}
Assassin: Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
Crono: The cops are still after us! Get outta the way! {pretends to honk a horn.}
Assassin: Honk! Honk!
Kagome: That clown flipped up off! {audience laughs.}
Taki: POP!
Crono: They're throwing balloons at us!
Kagome: Maybe we should shoot them back. With my MACHINE GUN! {she pretends to lean out a window while holding a pretend gun.}
Taki: Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Kagome: This is a gun! {audience laughs.}
Crono: Hope I hear that tonight, baby. {move his mouth to laugh, but no sound. The audience laughs.}
Kagome: That was funny, we should both laugh... REALLY loudly.
Taki: {laughing.}
Assassin: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! {audience laughs and cheer.}
Crono: All right enough! {they all stop.} {BUZZ} {audience applauds as Taki and Assassin return to their seats.}
Gamer: When we return, we'll find out who the winner is! Don't go away! {scene fades out.}
}}commercial break{{
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering. On stage is Gamer, C.J., and 17. There is also a table and 2 lounge chairs.}
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" Tonight, instead of a winner, we have a very special guest tonight! He's a gaming icon and legend. The very face that saved video games many tears ago. The one, the only... Mario! {audience cheers and applauds as the Mario theme starts playing. Mario walks in from the back and waves to the audience. C.J. and 17 are also applauding. Mario walks up to Gamer and shakes his hand. They both sit in the chairs. C.J. and 17 bow at Mario feet.}
Mario: Arise my sons!
{C.J. and 17 get up.}
Gamer: Wow! {music stops.} It's a pleasure to have you here,
Mario: It'sa good to be here!
C.J.: I bowed down to Mario! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: Now me and Mario are gonna play a game for you call Foreign Film Dub. Is this game we're gonna act out a foreign film scene for you speaking in another language. Since Mario is a fluent Italian speaker. He'll be speaking it for real, while I fake it. And 17 will translate for Mario and C.J. will translate for me. What I need from the audience is if you were an Italian director, what would your Italian action movie be? {audience shouts out suggestions.} Attack of the Killer Pizza! {audience laughs and cheers.} So let's get started. Mario, if you will...
{17 and Crono walk off stage.}
Mario: {speaking real Italian. Since I know no Italian, I won't bother making up dialog.}
17: I have seen this giant pizza. It is about 30 stories tall. 60 tons, and tastes good with a medium soda. {audience laughs.}
Gamer: Grazie paza de casa de uh... parmensan and gomze.
C.J.: What do what me to do I'm just a man. I hope... {audience laughs.}
Mario: {speaks Italian.}
17: You have to eat the pizza. Perhaps you can try to spot it with extra cheese, dive down, bellow like a little girl and scarf! Scarf like the wind! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: Besono, ez dente socasa do and uh... Bon appetite! {audience laughs.}
C.J.: It's been my life long dream to finally eat something bigger than me! I have trained for this day! All I can say is, TIME TO STUFF!!! {audience laughs and cheer.}
Mario: {speaks Italian.}
17: If only it were that simple. The pizza is making its way towards the dough factory. If he makes it there... it won't be very damn pleasant for us! {audience laughs}
Gamer:: uh... Goman dos Parmen sanito con... desu... Kawasaki! {audience laughs and cheer.}
C.J.: Let me hop on my jet ski and head over there. Maybe I can learn some REAL Italian. And some Japanese {audience laughs}
Mario: {speaks Italian.}
17: Only time will tell if you succeed. But you mustn't delay. Or else the pizza will destroy every lower than 4 star restaurant in the world. And that's a lot! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: uh... Gozum uh... {chuckling} I don't speak Italian. Uh... Par sar in gamaze!
C.J.: Cat's outta the bag. I DON'T SPEAK ITALIAN! {audience laughs as Mario gasps.}
Mario: {speaking panicked Italian.}
17: You don't speak Italian?
Gamer: No...
C.J.: Italian? I barely speak English! {audience laughs and cheer.}
Mario: {speaks Italian.} Mama Mia! {audience cheers.}
17: You are useless! The only thing we can do is dropping you on the pizza and hope you blow up and kill it! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: {shaking his head.} Mama gousa de...da...da....ih... uh... Gomez! {audience laughs.}
C.J.: Please don't drop me! My mama raised from when I was an ugly baby. {audience laughs.} And now I am a non-Italian speaking ugly man! {audience laughs.}
Mario: {speaking Italian}
17: I won't drop you. Instead I will offer you a virgin sacrifice to the pizza. And of course you are a virgin! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: I can't keep up anymore... give it up to Mario! {audience cheers and applauds.} That's all for tonight's show. Thank you for joining for our Salute to Video Games on "Whose Line is it Anyway!" {audience cheers and applaud as C.J., Kagome, 17, Crono, Mario, and C.J. all shake hands with each other.}
}}scene fades out.{{
Anime Craze! I don't own any anime or Whose Line. I only own Christopher Julius (my character) and Gamerctm (me).
Voice: Good evening and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" On tonight's show, {cut to C.J.} 24/7 gamer! Christopher Julius! (from my SPC fics.} {cut to Android 17.} Game activist!! Android 17! (from DBZ) {cut to Kagome.} Video Wizard! Kagome Higurashi! (from Inuyasha) And... {cut to Crono} Video game character!!! Crono! (from the game, Chrono Trigger.) {cut to Gamer, who's in the audience.} And I'm your host, Gamer! Time for some fun! {walks down to his desk.}
Gamer: Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, like the crappy, Virtualboy! {audience laughs.} Doesn't matter. This is our special Salute to Video Games! {audience applauds and cheers.} This was actually inspired by my friend and fellow author, Requiem Darkness! Give it up for her! {audience cheers and applauds as the camera cut to Requiem Darkness, who's in the audience.} We even have a special guest performer, from the hit game, Chrono Trigger, Crono! {audience cheers.}
Crono: It's good to be here, Gamer!
C.J.: Hate to break it to ya pal, but if you end up on this show, your career is down the crapper, basically. {audience laughs}
Gamer: Speaking of which, you're cleaning the toilets after the show, C.J. Hey! What do ya know? You're career started in a toilet, it's gonna end in one! {audience laughs.} Let's to our first game, Award Show! This is for everyone! {audience cheers as the performers walk on stage. C.J. grabs a podium off stage and sets it on the stage.} What's gonna happen is the performers are gonna act out an award show, but not like those celebrity shows. No, this is the Awards for Gaming show! Kagome and 17 are the hosts and C.J. and Crono are the nominees. They will stand in the audience and wait and hope they win. So whenever you're ready, take it away! {C.J. and Chrono go into the audience. Kagome and 17 stand behind the podium.}
Kagome: Welcome to the 500th weekly, Game Award Show!!! {audience cheers and applauds.} We have a great show for you tonight! Isn't that right 17?
17: {looking up.} {mechanically.} Yes. We do have an excellent show for you tonight. "Wave to audience."
Kagome: Uh... {whispering.} You don't need to read the actions, and try to sound more excited.
17: {looks at her.} {still mechanic} What? {audience laughs.}
Kagome: Are you still set on mechanical? {reaches behind his head.} Where is that switch? Got it!
17: We gotta grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat show for you tonight!!! YEAH!!! {audience laughs and cheer.}
Kagome: A little lower maybe? {reaches behind his head again.}
17: {speaks in Spanish. Audience is still laughing. Kagome goes behind his head one more time.} {normal.} Here are the nominees!
Kagome: That's better.
17: {cut to 2 random people in the audience. It's Link and Zelda . (from the Legend of Zelda series.) } Our first nominees are Dan and Pat Horke, for their number one book, "Tetris: The Alternate Kamasutra."{audience laughs, whistles and cheers.}
Kagome: I though some of the positions in that book were impossible! You ever try "The L and T formation?" {audience cheer even more.}
17: That's disturbing coming from a 15-year-old...
Kagome: Our next nominee... {cuts to Vivi. (from FF9.} Mr. I Ron Butterfly. For converting the Space Invaders theme into a rock ballad. {audience laughs.}
17: I heard it! It's like... {rock singer voice.} Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun! {audience cheers.} It gets a lot quicker in the end! And a lot harder to hit. And now the last nominees... {cut to C.J. and Crono.} Frat brothers, Bobby and Jimmy Smithy, for their drinking game where anytime you look at Lara Croft's butt, you gotta drink a beer! {audience laughs.}
Kagome: Lot of men run out of beer after the first few minutes.
17: Of course. And the winner of the award for "Person with Too Much Free Time" is...
Kagome and 17: Bobby and Jimmy Smithy!!! {audience cheers and applauds.}
{C.J. and Crono leap out of their seats.}
C.J. and Crono: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! {they head butt each other.} WOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! {they start to walk down to the stage and shake hands with all the people they pass.}
C.J.: Ahh... C'mon! {he hugs one of the audience members, Daisy (from the Mario games.) He breaks away, but Daisy hugs his arm.}
Daisy: {laughing.} Don't go!
C.J.: I gotta go, baby! {he follows Crono down to the podium.} WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Crono: Ah man! This is the greatest thing to ever happen to us since the Super Bowl Halftime show this year! {audience laughs.}
C.J.: Yeah dude! I tell. If I knew drinking beer while watching Lara's booty would bring us here, we would've cashed in years ago!
Crono: I wanna thank my girlfriend, Katie. WE DID IT, BABY!!! {audience cheers.} If she's watching... I think we should see other people... {audience laughs.}
C.J.: Dude...that's no cool... Can I have her bro.!?!?
Crono: Yeah dude! {audience cheers as they head butt each other again.}
C.J.: We also wanna thank the reason we're here at this show... beer!
Crono: BEER! {audience cheers.} And ice!
C.J.: Ice! Ice is the greatest invention ever!
Crono: I don't know who made it. But he must be rich! D-dude! I got an idea!
C.J.: What is it?
Crono: We should make ice... but it's liquid ice. {audience laughs.}
C.J.: Bro.... That is the greatest idea ever!!! {he punches him in the shoulder.}
Crono: {hits him back.} Who you think you're hittin'?
C.J.: {punches him back.} You... baby brother!
{they start to fake fight each other. The audience is laughing and cheering. They fall to the ground and keep punching each other.} {BUZZ} {The audience cheers. They stop fighting and shake hands. They then walk back to their seats.}
Gamer: Don't you wish all award shows could be like that? Speaking of which, it's been over a week since the Janet Jackson flash incident at the Super Bowl Halftime show. And at the Grammies this Sunday, Justin Timberlake, her singing partner during that act, said and I quote. "It wasn't intentional, it was regrettable, and I apologize if we offended you guys." I think I speak for every man in the world when I say... We forgive you, we know it was an accident, and we can only hope that it happens again! {men in the audience start to cheer.} Let's go to our next game, Song Styles! This is for C.J.! {audience cheers as C.J. walks on stage and sets a stool there.} Of course, this is a Video Game style show, so the person you'll be singing to will be the one...the only... Rayman!!! {audience cheer and applaud as Rayman walks over to the stool from the behind the studio. He waves to his fans, shakes C.J.'s hand and sits down.} Something wrong, C.J.?
C.J.: I thought you said "Rain-man!" {audience laughs.} 'Bout to say, Rain- man doesn't have a video game!
17: {imitating Rain Man} Big hoodlums! Big hoodlums with big guns! {audience laughs.} Big guns!
Gamer: This is another suggestion from Requiem Darkness!
Rayman: Don't remind me... I though she liked me enough not to make me go though with this!
Gamer: I'd suggest that you should bite your arms will he sings, but someone beat ya to it! {audience laughs.} Just kiddin'... All right C.J., the style you're singing in is NickelBack! {audience cheers.} So let's get started! {Hero (without the vocals) starts playing.}
C.J.: {singing.} He has no arms, but it's not a problem! He has no legs, but it's not a problem! Hoodlums better... watch out cause he'll kick their asses!!! And they say, that Rayman will save us! But he can't even grow arms! {audience laughs and cheer.} He's to the rescue, when Hoodlum's mean us harm! {pause.} He can fly in the air. When his head is in helicopter mode! Hoodlums try to get him, when they lock and load! But with his fists of fury! And limb less body, he saves the day! When he comes into town, Hoodlums better run the other way! And they say that Rayman will save us! He's the limb less wonder we adore! I don't know much about your game. I'm still stuck on level 4! {audience laughs.} {during the instrumental, C.J. pretends to play a guitar. The audience cheers.} You didn't wanna be sung to. I don't know what to tell you. At least you don't have to sing, when a big, fat jerk with a buzzer tells you to! {audience laugh and cheers.} And they save that Rayman will save us! When evil is about to strike and occur! Can you please save me from the jerk with a buzzer! The jerk with a...
Rayman: Buzzer!
C.J.: Jerk with a...
Rayman: Buzzer!
C.J.: Jerk with a BUZZER!!!
Rayman: Yeah! {singing.} The jerk with a...
C.J.: Buzzer!
Rayman: Jerk with a...
C.J.: Buzzer!
Rayman: Jerk with a BUZZER!!! {audience cheers.}
Both: The jerk with a buzzer! The jerk with a buzzer! The jerk with a buzzer!
C.J.: Yeah! Whoooooooooooooooooaaaaa... {the song ends.} {BUZZ} {the audience cheers and applauds. C.J. and Rayman each bow to the audience and Rayman walks into a seat in the audience. C.J. walks back to his seat.} I had a hard time singing that one. That was all I could think of.
Gamer: 10,000 points to Crono. 10,000 points to 17. 10,000 points to Kagome. And C.J... the big fat jerk with a buzzer says, "He hopes you have good luck finding a new job." {audience laughs.} Let's go to the next game... {pulls out a Luigi Hat.} Scenes from a Hat! {audience cheers as the performers walk on stage. Kagome and 17 are on the left side. C.J. and Crono the right.} What we do is before the show, our audience gives us suggestions of what they want to see on the show. We take all the GOOD ones, get rid of the bad ones, and pull them out of this hat and our performers out it out. {pulls a paper out of the hat.} "Strange things to collect in video games." {audience laughs.}
17: {walks up and pretends to look for something.} Now where is that welfare check? {BUZZ} {audience laughs as he walks off.}
Crono: {walks up.} {elderly voice.} Help find grandma's teeth and a tube of Bengay! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as he walks off}
C.J.: Help find Gamer a girlfriend, and you shall obtain... The Golden Buzzer... {BUZZ} {audience laugh as he walks back.}
Gamer: The big fat jerk with a buzzer thanks you for that. {audience laughs.} {reads a paper.} "Alternate Game Endings that failed."
{Kagome and 17 walk on stage.}
Kagome You saved me Mario!
17: I'ma Luigi.
Kagome: Oh... {turns around.} Save me Mario!!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs. They walk off.}
Crono: {walks up.} Now that you have beaten Rayman, you'll hear a special from C.J. {BUZZ} {singing.} Big fat jerk with a... {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheer. He walks off.}
{Kagome and C.J. walk on.}
Kagome: Link. You must give me the ocarina, if you wish to return home... {C.J. pretends to hand her something and she wipes it with her sleeve.} When was the last time you cleaned this!?!?!? {BUZZ} {audience laughs ad they walk off.}
{Crono and 17 walk up.}
Crono: Shadow! Me gotta stop the A.R.K.!
17: Before we go, can I ask you something?
Crono: What?
17: How can we breathe in space? {audience laughs. They grab their necks like they're running out of oxygen. The audience laughs and cheer harder.} {BUZZ} {they walk off.}
Gamer: Alright. {reads a paper.} "What dolls are really thinking when you poke their tummies." (suggested by Requiem Darkness) {audience laughs.}
{Kagome and C.J. walk up. She pokes his stomach.}
C.J.: {demonic} Urge to kill...rising... {laughs like a doll.} Hahahahahaha! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as they walk off.}
{Kagome and 17 walk up. She pokes his stomach.}
17: What the {bleep} is up with that?!?! {audience laughs.} {BUZZ} Do I look like the {bleep} Doughboy?!?!? {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheers as they walk off.}
{Kagome and C.J. walk up. She pokes his stomach.}
C.J.: That's it! A little lower... {audience laughs.} {doll voice.} I WUV YOU!!! {BUZZ} {audience is roaring with laughter. They walk off.}
{Kagome and Crono walk up. He pokes her stomach.}
Kagome: I wonder if GI Joe is doing Barbie? }BUZZ} {audience roars with laughter. Gamer is laughing too. They walk off.}
Gamer: {laughing.} Oh, man! I thought I had a dirty mind! That was really funny. {reads another paper.} "If the police solved crimes like the Scooby Gang." {audience laughs.}
{All 4 performers walk up.}
17: {Freddy voice.} So after the suspect choked the life outta Mr. Smith with his own intestines, he dropped the body in the river and fled the scene.
Kagome: Jinkies! {audience laughs}
C.J.: {speaking like Scooby.} Roinks! Rhatta Rick Run of a Ritch!
Crono: That's right Scooby. We're dealing with one sick son of a .... {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheer. They all walk off.}
Gamer: All right... {reads another paper.} "Strange things to yell out during sex.." {audience laughs.}
C.J.: {walks up.} {pretends to hold a ticket} {yells out.} Number 47!!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheer. He walks off.}
17: {walks up.} I love you... whatever your name is!!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheer. He walks off}
Gamer: Okay... {reads another paper.} "Bad thing to do while drunk."
{C.J. and 17 walk up.}
17: {staggering} You might wanna stand still for this bris! I had some Jack Daniels and I'm a little tipsy. {BUZZ} {audience laughs. They walk off.}
Crono: {walks up.} {slurred} The points don't matter! {BUZZ. {audience laughs as he walks off.}
{C.J., Crono and 17 all walk on stage. The other 2 surround C.J.}
C.J.: {slurred} I could take on all 4 of you little girls! {Crono and 17 start to fake beat him up.} HAHAHA!!! HELP!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as they walk off stage. C.J. walks back up with Kagome. They look at each other.} {slurred.} I'd say I love ya baby... but I don't know if you'll still be pretty when I'm sober... {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheers as Kagome fakes slaps him.} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {audience applauds.}
Gamer: We have a lot more fun on this show. But we gotta see a commercial! We'll be right back! {scene fades out.}
}}commercial break{{
{scene fades in. But the audience isn't applauding and Gamer isn't at his desk. C.J. and Requiem Darkness are on the stage showing a home movie to the audience.}
Requiem Darkness: I thought he had too much sugar.
C.J.: He just has a fear of singing toys.
{On the TV, Gamer is shouting at a Billy Bass singing novelty}
}}on the TV{{
Bass: {singing Blue Moon}
Gamer: AHH!!! Singing fish!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! {starts singing along. The audience is laughing at the scene. So are the other performers. The scene changes to Gamer surrounded by singing toy hamsters.}
Hamsters: {singing Bad to the Bone.}
Gamer: HELP!!! GO TO HELL YOU SINGING RODENTS!!! {starts singing along.} {audience is laughing and cheering ad he dances around goofily.}
}}on the stage.{{
{Gamer can be heard walking from behind the studio. Requiem quickly runs back to her seat while C.J. gets rid of the TV and goes back to his seat. The audience cheers as he Gamer walks to his desk.}
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" Show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. I'm your host Gamer, or as the ladies call me... "Hey you hiding in the bushes!" {audience laughs.} Before I came out here there was a lot of laughing and cheering. What were ya doin'?
C.J.: Just a few impressions... wanna see my singing bass?
Gamer: NO! No...no...no... {audience laughs.} Let's just go to our next game... Film, TV, and Video Games! This is for C.J., 17, and Kagome! {audience applauds as they walk on stage.} Of course, this will be slightly different than the regular Film, TV, and Theatre styles. Our performers are gonna act out a scene, but when I buzz them, I'll give them a different style of VIDEO GAME tat they have to act out. What I need from the audience is the name of your favorite Video Games. {audience starts to shout out suggestion.} Splinter Cell...Pokemon...Pac-man... Mortal Kombat... Donkey Kong... Pitfall... that should be enough. Okay, so now we know what the styles are, here's the scene. 17 and C.J. are two rival pizza makers, who are trying to win the affection of the beautiful customer, Kagome. So whenever you're ready, take it away!
{Kagome walks off stage. C.J. and 17 pretend to flip pizzas in the air.}
17: {singing in Italian.} That's a gooda pizza! Gonna toss you off right!
C.J.: {pretends to holds a gun and shoot 17's pizza.} BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! {audience laughs as 17 looks at his pretend pizza.} {fake Italian} Hey! It musta be Sunday, cause your pizza's so holy! {he and the audience laughs.}
17: {fake Italian} What'sa matter wit' you! You boonco!
C.J.: {fake Italian} Who you callin' a boonco! Spaz!
{they start to argue. The audience laugh as they make strange hands gestures and shout in fake Italian.}
Kagome: Ding-Dong!
C.J.: {fake Italian} I wasn't away we hada doorbell! {audience laughs.}
Kagome: Excuse me. {walks on stage.}
17: {fake Italian} Ohhh... It's a beautiful bella!
C.J.: {fake Italian} Never mind the bella. That chick is hot! {audience laughs and cheer. They both run up to Kagome.} {BUZZ}
Gamer: Splinter Cell!
{C.J. sneaks behind 17 and pretends to knock him out. 17 gets K.O.ed. The audience laughs as C.J. drags him into the shadowed corner. C.J. runs back to Kagome.}
C.J.: {speaking quickly.} You have just witnessed top secret activity being top secretly active. You must forget all that you have seen here, or you will be neutralized. You understand?
Kagome: Yes. {C.J. turns around and she hits him in the head. K.O.ing him. He falls to the ground and the audience laughs. She pretends to hit a buzzer .} {imitating buzzer.}
C.J.: The alarm! {he jumps to his feet and runs to the shadowed corner. 17 drags him out and they fake fight.} {BUZZ}
Gamer: Pokemon!
C.J.: {17 and he stand apart from each other.} Go! Pizzachu! {audience laughs as he walks like a Pokemon.} Burning Cheese attack! {wave his hand towards 17.} Whoosh!
17: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! {audience laughs as he runs around franticly.}
Kagome: Go get him! I choose you, Mozzarellager! {audience laughs and cheers as she runs like a Pokemon towards C.J. and tackles him.} {BUZZ}
Gamer: Pac-man!
17: Wakka-wakka-wakka-wakka-wakka! {audience laugh as he runs around the stage like Pac-man. C.J. and Kagome chase him around like the ghosts. The audience laughs and cheers as they run up in the audience and back down. 17 gets caught and he makes the lose noise and falls to the ground. The audience is laughing and cheering.} {BUZZ}
Gamer: Mortal Kombat!
{17 jumps to his feet.}
17: You are no match for me! I will annihilate you!
C.J.: {strikes fighting pose.} You are wrong! I shall rip the head clean off your shoulders and stick it in a place doth sun doesn't shine! {audience laughs.}
Kagome: ...... TOASTY!!! {audience laughs and cheer.}
{C.J. and 17 start to fake fight. After a while...}
C.J.: Babatility!
17: {crawls like a baby.} Wah! Wah! {audience laughs.}
C.J.: For the creators to think up this, proves one thing. They have too much free time on their hands! {audience laughs and cheer.}
Kagome: TOASTY!?!? {audience laughs.} {BUZZ}
Gamer: Donkey Kong!
{17 acts like an ape and scoops up Kagome and go up the stairs. C.J. starts running left and right across the stage. The audience is cheering. He jumps up and sown as 17 pretends to throw barrels. After a while, 17 pretends to throw...something... out of his butt. The audience roars with laughter. C.J. pretends to get hit and makes the game over noise and falls to the ground.} {BUZZ} {the audience is still laughing and cheering.}
Gamer: Pitfall!
{17 make the swinging noise and pretends to swing on a vine.}
17: How long do I have to hold this {bleep} vine! My arm hurts! {audience laughs and cheer.} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {the audience applauds as the performers return to their seats.}
Gamer: You know, that was a little unfair for everyone except C.J. since he does work at a pizzeria. So 4000 points to everyone but him.
C.J.: You know what the funny thing is? That scene we acted out. That's exactly what happens at work. {audience laughs.}
C.J.: Makes me feel safer about pizza. Let's go to our next game, Sound Effects! This is for Crono and Kagome! {audience cheers as they walk on stage. Gamer goes into the audience and stops next to a couple in the audience.} Hi! what's your name?
Woman: Taki.
Man: Assassin. (both from the game Soul Caliber 2)
Gamer: Well guess what. You guys are winners! C'mon down! {audience cheers as he 3 of them head to the stage. Taki and Assassin stand off stage while Gamer heads to his desk. He hands them microphones.} Taki, that's Kagome. Assassin that's Crono. What you two are gonna do is while Crono and Kagome act out a scene, when they prompt you to, provide the sound effects throughout the whole scene. The scene is... Bonnie, who is Kagome, and Clyde, who is Crono, are escaping the police after a bank robbery. So when ever you're ready... go!
Crono: {looking to the right.} And I want it all in Golden Dollar Coins! You hear me?
Kagome: {pretends to hold a machine gun.} And to show we ain't kiddin'! {points the "gun" in the air.}
Taki: Bang! Bang! Bang!
Kagome: I thought I packed more bullets than 3... {audience laughs.}
Taki: Bang bang bang bang bang!
Kagome: There it is! {audience laughs.}
Crono: Don't you touch the alarm! He touched the alarm!!!
Assassin: Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!
Kagome: The cops are here already! {audience laughs and cheer.}
Crono: Man that's fast! Let's go, baby! {they pretend to get into a car. Hey slam the "doors"}
Assassin: Jam!
Crono: The door is jammed! {audience laughs.}
Kagome: {slamming her door rapidly.} Mine won't close!
Taki: Whack!
Kagome: Stupid duck's blocking the door! {audience laughs as she pretends to throw something.}
Crono: I'll start the car. {pretends to turn a key.}
Assassin: Err Err Err!
Crono: It's dead! {audience laughs.}
Kagome: Try again! Maybe it will make the "vroom vroom" sound it's supposed to make.
{Crono turns the key again.}
Taki and Assassin: Vroom! Vroom! Vroom! {audience applauds.}
Crono: We must have to motors in this car! Better floor it!
Taki: VROOM! ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! VROOM!!!
Assassin: SREECH!!!
Kagome: We hit a cat! {audience laughs.}
Taki: Mew meow.
Crono: He's okay. {audience laughs.}
Assassin: Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
Crono: The cops are still after us! Get outta the way! {pretends to honk a horn.}
Assassin: Honk! Honk!
Kagome: That clown flipped up off! {audience laughs.}
Taki: POP!
Crono: They're throwing balloons at us!
Kagome: Maybe we should shoot them back. With my MACHINE GUN! {she pretends to lean out a window while holding a pretend gun.}
Taki: Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Kagome: This is a gun! {audience laughs.}
Crono: Hope I hear that tonight, baby. {move his mouth to laugh, but no sound. The audience laughs.}
Kagome: That was funny, we should both laugh... REALLY loudly.
Taki: {laughing.}
Assassin: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! {audience laughs and cheer.}
Crono: All right enough! {they all stop.} {BUZZ} {audience applauds as Taki and Assassin return to their seats.}
Gamer: When we return, we'll find out who the winner is! Don't go away! {scene fades out.}
}}commercial break{{
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering. On stage is Gamer, C.J., and 17. There is also a table and 2 lounge chairs.}
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" Tonight, instead of a winner, we have a very special guest tonight! He's a gaming icon and legend. The very face that saved video games many tears ago. The one, the only... Mario! {audience cheers and applauds as the Mario theme starts playing. Mario walks in from the back and waves to the audience. C.J. and 17 are also applauding. Mario walks up to Gamer and shakes his hand. They both sit in the chairs. C.J. and 17 bow at Mario feet.}
Mario: Arise my sons!
{C.J. and 17 get up.}
Gamer: Wow! {music stops.} It's a pleasure to have you here,
Mario: It'sa good to be here!
C.J.: I bowed down to Mario! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: Now me and Mario are gonna play a game for you call Foreign Film Dub. Is this game we're gonna act out a foreign film scene for you speaking in another language. Since Mario is a fluent Italian speaker. He'll be speaking it for real, while I fake it. And 17 will translate for Mario and C.J. will translate for me. What I need from the audience is if you were an Italian director, what would your Italian action movie be? {audience shouts out suggestions.} Attack of the Killer Pizza! {audience laughs and cheers.} So let's get started. Mario, if you will...
{17 and Crono walk off stage.}
Mario: {speaking real Italian. Since I know no Italian, I won't bother making up dialog.}
17: I have seen this giant pizza. It is about 30 stories tall. 60 tons, and tastes good with a medium soda. {audience laughs.}
Gamer: Grazie paza de casa de uh... parmensan and gomze.
C.J.: What do what me to do I'm just a man. I hope... {audience laughs.}
Mario: {speaks Italian.}
17: You have to eat the pizza. Perhaps you can try to spot it with extra cheese, dive down, bellow like a little girl and scarf! Scarf like the wind! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: Besono, ez dente socasa do and uh... Bon appetite! {audience laughs.}
C.J.: It's been my life long dream to finally eat something bigger than me! I have trained for this day! All I can say is, TIME TO STUFF!!! {audience laughs and cheer.}
Mario: {speaks Italian.}
17: If only it were that simple. The pizza is making its way towards the dough factory. If he makes it there... it won't be very damn pleasant for us! {audience laughs}
Gamer:: uh... Goman dos Parmen sanito con... desu... Kawasaki! {audience laughs and cheer.}
C.J.: Let me hop on my jet ski and head over there. Maybe I can learn some REAL Italian. And some Japanese {audience laughs}
Mario: {speaks Italian.}
17: Only time will tell if you succeed. But you mustn't delay. Or else the pizza will destroy every lower than 4 star restaurant in the world. And that's a lot! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: uh... Gozum uh... {chuckling} I don't speak Italian. Uh... Par sar in gamaze!
C.J.: Cat's outta the bag. I DON'T SPEAK ITALIAN! {audience laughs as Mario gasps.}
Mario: {speaking panicked Italian.}
17: You don't speak Italian?
Gamer: No...
C.J.: Italian? I barely speak English! {audience laughs and cheer.}
Mario: {speaks Italian.} Mama Mia! {audience cheers.}
17: You are useless! The only thing we can do is dropping you on the pizza and hope you blow up and kill it! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: {shaking his head.} Mama gousa de...da...da....ih... uh... Gomez! {audience laughs.}
C.J.: Please don't drop me! My mama raised from when I was an ugly baby. {audience laughs.} And now I am a non-Italian speaking ugly man! {audience laughs.}
Mario: {speaking Italian}
17: I won't drop you. Instead I will offer you a virgin sacrifice to the pizza. And of course you are a virgin! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: I can't keep up anymore... give it up to Mario! {audience cheers and applauds.} That's all for tonight's show. Thank you for joining for our Salute to Video Games on "Whose Line is it Anyway!" {audience cheers and applaud as C.J., Kagome, 17, Crono, Mario, and C.J. all shake hands with each other.}
}}scene fades out.{{