Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Anime Craze! I don't own any anime or Whose Line. I only own Christopher Julius (my character) and Gamerctm (me).
Voice: Good evening and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" On tonight's show, {cut to C.J.} Say Ahh... Christopher Julius! {cut to Faye.} Take off your clothes. Faye Valentine! (from Cowboy Bebop.) {cut to Yami Yugi.} Get on the table. Yami Yugi! (from Yu-Gi-Oh!) And... {cut to Amarao} Cough, please. Amarao! (from FLCL.) {cut to Gamerctm, who's in the audience.} And I'm your host, Gamer! C'mon down! Let's have some fun! {walks down to his desk.}
Gamer: Hello! Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" The only show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. You'll never-ever see the points, like Amarao's real eyebrows! {audience laughs and cheer.}
Amarao: {frustrated sigh} Shoulda seen that comin'.
Gamer: Could I borrow those brows? I need to paint my house. {audience laughs.}
C.J.: Really takes the focus off my cape.
Gamer: Let's go to our first game, "Let's Make A Date." This is for everyone! {audience cheers as the performers walk down to the stage and grab the stools that were off stage. They all sit in this order from the left.: Amarao, Yugi, C.J. and Faye.} Faye is a contestant on a dating show and the others are hoping to be picked by her for a date. But they all have strange quirks or identities that are written on those cards. {C.J. reads his card and laughs. Yugi reads his and nods. Amarao reads his and shakes his head.} They never saw those cards before. I can't wait to see Yugi's. So whenever you're ready, take it away. Go!
Faye: {seductive voice} Bachelor number one. I love men who are big and strong and... have money. What kind of man are you?
C.J.: {lying on his side on the stool. He's not making a move.} (Singing Novelty Bass Toy) {audience laughs and cheer.} ..........
Faye: Bachelor number 1?
C.J.: {bends like a bass toy towards the audience.} {singing} Hello! How are you? We could have a ball! You can make love to me and mount me on your wall! Hey! {audience laugh and cheer as he bend back.}
Faye: Oh... Bachelor number 1... I didn't expect that. Bachelor number 2.
Yugi: {high pitch voice} Yes? (Angry midget looking for the man who slept with his wife, C.J.) {audience laugh and cheer.}
Faye: If you could shower me with all the riches in the world, what would you buy me?
Yugi: {high pitch voice} I'd buy for you a whoop-ass stick! {audience laughs.} So I could whoop the ass of the dead man who touched my love! {audience laughs as he rubs C.J.'s head.} Any man who would so far as to screw with an another man's true love describes to have my size ½ shoe up his ass! {audience laugh and cheer.}
Faye: I like tough macho guys, but you're good enough. {audience laughs.} Bachelor number 3.
Amarao: {elderly voice.} Y-yes... (Oldest Rock Star) {audience laughs.}
Faye: I like chocolate...
Amarao: Ah... chocolate... I remember when they first made chocolate... {jumps up and pretends to play a rock guitar.} {yelling and singing} IT'S THE TREAT OF THE GODS!!! {audience cheers.} THE TREAT OF THE... GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS!!! {audience is cheering and applauding. Amarao slowly sits in his seat} Oops. Time for the pill... {pretends to put something is his mouth.}
Faye: Lose the fake eyebrows and then we'll talk. {audience laughs.} Bachelor number 1. My sign is cancer, the sign of the crab. What's your sign?
C.J.: {bends over again.} {singing.} I like it when you speak! I like your pretty voice. I... {stops moving with his mouth wide open. The audience is laughing} I like... I like... I like... big butts and I cannot lie! {audience laugh and cheer as he bends back.}
Faye: I like big butts too. Bachelor number 2...
Yugi: {stroking C.J.'s hair.} I forgive ya honey. I just can't wait to... {looks in the audience.} You!!! {gets on his knees and runs up the stairs. The audience cheers and laugh. He pulls Jimmy Koto (from Detective Conan) down on stage.} You and mes gotta fight now! {he tries to drag Jimmy down, but he can't. Jimmy keeps laughing.} You! {he falls down on his back and is breathing hard.} You win this round... go back from wheres you came! {Jimmy runs back into the audience. He, as well as everyone else, is laughing.}
C.J.: {bends again.} {Chris Rock voice.} Boy! You got knocked da hell out!!! {audience is still laughing.}
Faye: Bachelor number 3. Sing me a song! {audience cheers.}
Amarao: Okay! {jumps down on his knees and pretends to play a guitar.} DAAAAAAAAAAAOW!!! {audience cheers as he rocks out. He plays it with his teeth. He pulls it back and acts like he doesn't have teeth. The audience laughs and applauds as pulls on his guitar to get his teeth back.} WHAAAAA!!! {gives the famous rock out hand gesture.} {BUZZ}
Gamer: So, who the hell are they, Faye?
Faye: Number one is a fish toy!
Gamer: YES!!! {BUZZ} {audience cheers.}
Faye: Number 2 is a 2-part answer... he's a midget, and C.J. is his girlfriend?
Gamer: He's an angry midget cause his WIFE, C.J. did what?
Faye: Slept with someone!
Gamer: Right. {BUZZ} And what about number 3?
Faye: He's my grandpa trying to be a rock star!
Gamer: Perfect! {BUZZ} {audience cheers as they all return to their seats.} You all get 5000 demi points! {audience cheers.} But after you figure it out in real points, it's only 5. {audience awws.} It sounds like a lot though! Let's go to our next game... Motown Group! This is for C.J., Yugi, and Amarao! {audience cheers as they come on stage.} What you guys are gonna do is make a Motown song about a strange topic. And you sing one verse at a time. Audience! Gimme a weird topic for a Motown song! {audience shouts out suggestion.} Taxidermist!
C.J.: Taxidermist?
Gamer: Yeah, someone who stuffs dead animals. So when the music starts, take it away! {Motown music starts. The audience cheers as they start dancing.}
C.J.: Oh-ho-ho! Yeah! Well! I'm a taxidermist, and do my job well! I make toys outta animals and make sure they don't smell! My left and right hand, they are my best friends! I use them to grab some cotton and stuff them up ends! {audience cheers.} Yeah! Yeah! Oh! {walks back.}
Yugi: {walks up.} I needed a taxidermist to stuff my dead dog! After one visit, he was stiff as a log! I asked a little question, it didn't seem to bother! I came back the next day and stuffed my grandmother! {audience laughs and cheers.} That don't rhyme... {walks back.}
Amarao: {deep base voice.} Oh, I'm a taxidermist... But I'm very bad...
Yugi and C.J.: He's very bad!
Amarao: I didn't read the manual... It got me mad!
Yugi and C.J.: He's...oh! He's very mad!
Amarao: I made a mistake, and it turned my face red. Before you stuff a tiger... make sure that it's dead! {audience laughs.} You took my grandma line! {walks back.}
C.J.: Oh! Do the Taxidermist! Yeah! Oh!
Yugi: Do the Taxidermist!
Amarao: Do the Taxidermist! Yeah! Do the...
All: Taxidermist!!! {BUZZ} {music ends and the audience cheers. They all walk back to their seats.}
Gamer: {wipes away a fake tear} I tell ya, that brought back some memories...
C.J.: Good. Keep them to yourself. {audience laughs.}
Gamer: Let's go to our next game, News Flash! This is for Faye, Yugi, and Amarao! {audience cheers as they walk on stage. Amarao walks up to the desk and takes a microphone from Gamer.} Now Amarao will be a reporter on the field. But he's not really on the field, he's in front of what we call a green screen. {Amarao is in front of a giant green screen.} He could stare right at it. All he sees is green. But to the audience and the others, they can see what's behind him thanks to the magic of TV. Faye, and Yugi have to give him clues to what's behind him and he has to figure it out before the game ends. So... let's get it on!
Yugi: {whispers to Faye.} So what do you say? A little dancing... show ya the back seat of the Camaro. {audience laughs.}
Faye: Oh... that's sounds fu... {looks at the camera.} We interrupt your broadcast to bring you this special bulletin.
Yugi: Our star reporter... Amarao is on the field. Amarao? Can you hear me?
Amarao: {looking around frantically. Behind him is some scenes from the movie Jaws. The audience is laughing and cheering.} I can barely hear you over this... this... craziness!
{scene shows the first scene where Jaws attacks the girl. The audience screams.}
Faye: My goodness, Amarao! How did all this happen?
Amarao: It all started with an endless hoedown! {Gamer and the audience laugh. The audience applauds, then screams when Jaws' head comes out of the water.}
Yugi: Look out! {Amarao starts running.} You're safe now! But I'm no expert. What exactly do you call that?
Amarao: We just call that too much Prozac. {audience laughs as the scene changes to people running from the water.} I don't know. I'm no expect either.
Faye: Tell me. What have you done to protect yourself?
Amarao: I've... {pauses.} I've not bathed in a while. {audience laughs.} It seems to be working! {scene changes to Jaws attacking a boat.}
Yugi: Can you sink your teeth into this?
Amarao: Pardon?
Yugi: Do you think you can sink your teeth into this?
Amarao: I can sink my teeth, gums, and other parts into it! {scene shows Jaw about to eat a man. The audience screams even louder.}
Faye: Any orchestrations around?
Amarao: A minor and H sharp! The sounds of sure death! {audience laughs.}
Yugi: This is pure gold that will spawn 40 crappy sequels. Am I right? {audience laugh and cheer. The scene changes to a man about to shoot Jaws.}
Amarao: You are right my friend... And also... well you're right!
Faye: Tell me, Amarao. You're so close! Some people might say you're Da- dum... Da-dum... Da-dum... {audience begin humming the Jaws theme even faster.}
Amarao: Do Do Do Do! {audience cheers. He turns around.} SMILE!!! You son of a... {BUZZ} {audience is laughing and cheering as Jaws explodes.}
Gamer: Tell me! Where are you?
Amarao: The movie Jaws!
Gamer: YES!!! {BUZZ} {audience cheer and applaud as the performers return to their seats.} Hey! We'll be right back with more Whose Line is it Anyway! Don't go anywhere! {scene fades out.}
}commercial break.{
{scene fades in., The audience is cheering.}
Gamer: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway! The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Hey! For all you fan girls out there, a Hiei Plushie will be given to the first 100 girls who say they're Hiei's love monkey! {audience cheers.} No... not really! {audience laughs.} Let's go to our next game, Scene with an Audience Member! This is for C.J. and Yugi! {audience cheers as they walk on stage. Gamer goes into the audience and stands next to a little teen girl.} Hi. What's your name?
Girl: {shyly} Shinobu (From Love Hina)
Gamer: Shinobu! You wanna be in our next game?
Shinobu: Okay!
Gamer: Let's go! {audience cheers and applauds as they go on stage. Gamer returns to his desk and gives her a card.} This is Shinobu. {Yugi and C.J. shake hands with her.} She's a little shy, but we'll fix it with this game. You two are gonna act out a scene with her, but she can only say the lines on the card, when she's prompted to. And... {laughs.} Sorry... I shoulda read this to you first... The scene is on the Titanic. C.J. is a impoverish artist... painting a nude picture of Shinobu... {audience laugh and cheer as Shinobu blushes.} Sorry bout that... Guess you're a lot shyer... But they are interrupted when Shinobu's fiancée, Yugi walks in the cabin. So whenever you're ready... GO!
C.J.: {Yugi walks off stage. C.J. pretends to draw a picture.} I finished... It's just a stick figure with boobs, though... {audience laughs.} Tell me! What do you think of it?
Shinobu: {reads the card.} That's a bad shade of lipstick for you. {audience laughs.}
C.J.: I know... I know... but what do you expect! I'm impoverished... Which I assume it means poor. {audience laughs.} But... let's forget that for now! Tell me... what else do you think of me?
Shinobu: {reads the card and laughs.} I think I'm gonna be sick! {audience laugh and cheer. C.J. fake sobs.} {whispers.} Sorry...
C.J.: Don't apologize! You're right! I get sick looking at myself! But if you could just look past that and...
Yugi: Hey! {walks on stage.} What's this nude artist doing here? {audience laugh and cheer as C.J. pretends to put some pants on.}
C.J.: It's the only way I can paint!
Yugi: Tell me you aren't staying with this impoverished artist! What can you say to me?
Shinobu: Uh... {reads the card.} You could really use a shower! {audience laughs.}
Yugi: {shouting} I do nothing but shower for you, and I find you with this...
C.J.: Don't shout at her! {grabs her Shinobu's shoulder.} She wants to be with me! Right, honey? Why don't you tell him...
Shinobu: {reads the card.} I like big butts? {audience laugh and cheer.}
C.J.: {pretends to carry a big butt.} See! She wants me!
Yugi: {shakes a little.} Whoa-a-a! I think we hit something! What do you think Shinobu?
Shinobu: {reads the card.} I could use a cold one! {audience laughs.}
C.J.: She's right! We musta hit an iceberg!
Yugi: Then it hit my side! I was the only one who moved! {audience laughs.} We better run! Come with me Shinobu!
Shinobu: {runs to him. She then reads the card.} You're uglier than he is! {audience laughs as Yugi pretends to be sad.}
Yugi: Very well... go with him! I can tell... you love him more...
C.J.: I'd run over but... {shakes his butt a little.} My ass is stuck again! {audience laughs.}
Yugi: Wait! We could use your butt as a floatation device!
C.J.: I should have told you this! My ass is really a raft! Come with me Shinobu!
Shinobu: {runs to him and reads the card.} Don't make me turn this car around! {audience laughs and cheer.}
C.J.: Honey! I told you! You can't bring a car on the ocean! {audience laughs.} Hurry! We have to go! {Yugi and Shinobu run to him and stand behind him.} {makes an air hissing sound.} Damn! It's deflated again! {audience laughs and cheers.} {BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ} {shakes Shinobu's hand again.} You were great! {they return to their seats. Shinobu runs to Gamer and shakes his hand.}
Gamer: Love havin' ya on the game! {audience is still cheering as Shinobu runs back to her seat.} Ain't so shy now, are ya? {she shakes her head and smiles. The audience cheers more.} That was great! One Trillion points for everyone! {audience cheers and applauds. All the performers pumps their fists in the air.} One trillion... Eat my dust, Regis! {audience laughs.} Let's go to our next game... Bartender! This is for everyone! {audience cheers as the 4 performers walk on stage. There is a bar scene set up to the left of the stage.} Now in this game, C.J. is a bartender who listens to the other 3 performers' troubles. When the music starts, one of the performers will walk up to the bar and sing to C.J. his or her trouble. This is a great game! Just watch and see. Okay, what I need from the audience is something Faye might be angry about...
Audience Member: Slept with an ugly man! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: That's a good one! So when the music starts... Faye, sing to him your slept with an ugly man trouble!
Faye: {dramatic music starts playing. She walks up to the bar.} Bourbon! Make it a double!
C.J.: You seem upset. Pretty girl like you, should be happy. What's on your mind, beautiful?
Faye: Well... you see... {starts singing.} I was at a party... Things go a little out of hand... But I woke up to a beauty-impaired man... {audience laughs.} I had drunk to much wine...and nearly died! When I saw the face of that guy! {audience laughs.} It isn't fair! Wouldn't you know! Why did I sleep with Quasimodo? {audience laughs and cheer.}
C.J.: Well... {starts singing.} Things aren't so bad... don't be so sad! You're answers don't come from a bottle of glass! Maybe you weren't looking at his face, but rather, his ass! {audience laughs.} No need to drown in tonic and giiiiiiiiiiin... Could be worst... You could sleep with {points to Gamer.} Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim!!! {the audience laughs and cheers was Gamer glares at C.J. The music ends.}
Gamer: Gonna miss havin' ya on the show... {audience laughs.} So now... It's Yugi's turn... give him something he's excited about, audience! {audience shouts out suggestions.} His new wig! {audience laughs.} That hair is real right?
Yugi: Yeah...
Gamer: Just checkin'... okay so take it away!
Yugi: {cheerful piano music starts playing. He walks up to the bar.} Gimme the best ya got! Nuthin' gonna trouble me today!
C.J.: Hey... {starts singing.} Nice hair! Nice hair! It's sleek and stylish and sets in the air!
Yugi: {singing} But you see! It ain't real! Though it astounds and appeals! It's was brought at the maaaaall!!! Listen to my caaaaaall! Hair! Hair! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiir!!! {audience cheers and applauds.} It might be a wig, but don't fear! It's not a dead animal, just gimme a beer! {audience laughs.}
C.J.: I'll...just...give...you...a...
Yugi and C.J.: Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!!! {audience cheers and applauds. The music ends.}
Gamer: I'd give it two Tonies... and a Frank. {audience laughs.} Now it's Amarao's turn. Give me someone he'd be in love with. {audience shouts out suggestions.} Himself! Can't beat the classics! So Amarao is in love with who? Himself! {audience laughs as romantic piano music starts playing.}
Amarao: {walks up to the bar.} Some Jack Daniels to my number one guy! Me! {audience laughs.}
C.J.: Tell me. Have you ever fallen in love?
Amarao: Well... {starts singing.} I met a guy... A deviously handsome guy... A deviously handsome guy with furry brows and a nice long... well you know! {audience laughs.} Most people say his eyebrows are fake. But don't just don't know the truth... {starts fake sobbing.} They were burnt off in a fire... {audience aws.} {laughs.} He also a liar... {audience groans and laughs.} He's the greatest guy you ever met! So cool, you'd cry! It's three guys! Me, myself and I! {audience applauds.}
C.J.: I must say... {puts a hand on Amarao's shoulder.} I felt the same way... {points to himself.} I love myself everyday! {audience laughs.} Bet my guy could kick your guy's ass!
Amarao: Bring it on! {they start fake punching each other, making the audience laugh and cheer ever more.} {BUZZ} {the audience applauds as they get up and shake hands. The audience starts cheering.}
Gamer: We'll be right back with a winner! So don't go anywhere! {scene fades out.}
}commercial break{
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering. Gamer, C.J., Faye, and Amarao are sanding on stage. Yugi is at the desk.}
Gamer: Welcome back to Whose Line it Anyway! Tonight's winner... Yugi Moto! {audience cheers as Yugi nods and smiles.} So the rest have to do a game for you called, Questions Only! {audience cheers and applauds.} What we gotta do in this game is that, we're only allowed to speak in questions only. If someone messes up, another person takes his or her place! Great game at a party with no chicks or booze! Yugi! What is out scene?
Yugi: {reads a card.} A bank robbery.
Gamer: So Faye and Amarao will start first. Me and C.J. next. So whenever you guys are ready! {he walks to the off stage to the left. C.J. walks to the right.}
Amarao: {points his fingers at Faye like guns.} Gimme all your money in a paper... {pauses.} Damn! {BUZZ} {he walks off stage while the audience laughs.}
Gamer: The game is QUESTIONS only...
C.J.: {walks on stage. He points his fingers like guns at Faye.} Can you give me all your money in a paper bag? {audience laughs and cheers.}
Faye: Oh! {scared.} Is-is-is this a robbery?
C.J.: What do you think?
Faye: What happened to the security guards?
C.J.: You mean the guys in Burger King hats? {audience laughs.}
Faye: Those weren't guards?
C.J.: What do you think they say, 'You want fries with that?' {audience laughs.}
Faye: ....... I don't know... {BUZZ} {she walks off stage. Gamer walks up.}
Gamer: Checking or Savings account?
C.J.: Can't you see this is a hold-up?!
Gamer: Is that like savings? {audience laughs.}
C.J.: Are you new here?
Gamer: Am I doin' sumthin' wrong?
C.J.: {mocking} Am I doin' sumthin' wrong? {audience laughs.} You some sorta idiot?
Gamer: You speak that way to people?
C.J.: ............ {walks off. The audience laughs.} {BUZZ}
Amarao: {walks up.} Do you want to live or die?
Gamer: That a trick question?
Amarao: Do I look like I'm joking?
Gamer: Maybe if you... aw... crap! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as he walks off stage. Faye takes his place.}
Faye: {screaming.} SIR!!! WON'T YOU PLEASE STAND BEHIND THE LINE!?!?! {audience laughs and applauds.} CAN YOU NOT WAIT UNTIL THE TELLER CALLS YOU OVER?!?!? {the audience cheers.}
Amarao: Can you run that by me again? {audience laughs.}
Faye: No... I can't! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as she walks off stage. Gamer returns.}
Gamer: Hey! Didn't you see me rob this bank first?
Amarao: {laughs as he walks off stage.} {BUZZ} {C.J. takes his place.}
C.J.: You robbin' this bank?
Gamer: Who wants to know?
C.J.: {pretends to hold up a badge.} Don't you know you're under arrest?
Gamer: You gonna read me my rights? {audience laughs.}
C.J.: {sigh.} {pretends to read something.} Do you know you have the right to remain silent? Do you know that anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law? {audience laughs and cheers as he goes on.} Do you know that you have a right to an attorney? Do you know that if you do not have an attorney, the court will provide one for you? Do you know that if you fail to show up in court, a warrant will be released for your arrest? {audience applauds when he finishes.}
Gamer:.......... What? {audience laughs even more.}
C.J.: ......... Spread em'! {pretends to hold up a nightstick.}
Gamer: Whoa! {defends himself.} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {audience cheers and applauds.} That's all we have for tonight! Join us next time for more Whose Line is it Anyway! Bye! {scene fades out.}
Anime Craze! I don't own any anime or Whose Line. I only own Christopher Julius (my character) and Gamerctm (me).
Voice: Good evening and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" On tonight's show, {cut to C.J.} Say Ahh... Christopher Julius! {cut to Faye.} Take off your clothes. Faye Valentine! (from Cowboy Bebop.) {cut to Yami Yugi.} Get on the table. Yami Yugi! (from Yu-Gi-Oh!) And... {cut to Amarao} Cough, please. Amarao! (from FLCL.) {cut to Gamerctm, who's in the audience.} And I'm your host, Gamer! C'mon down! Let's have some fun! {walks down to his desk.}
Gamer: Hello! Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" The only show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. You'll never-ever see the points, like Amarao's real eyebrows! {audience laughs and cheer.}
Amarao: {frustrated sigh} Shoulda seen that comin'.
Gamer: Could I borrow those brows? I need to paint my house. {audience laughs.}
C.J.: Really takes the focus off my cape.
Gamer: Let's go to our first game, "Let's Make A Date." This is for everyone! {audience cheers as the performers walk down to the stage and grab the stools that were off stage. They all sit in this order from the left.: Amarao, Yugi, C.J. and Faye.} Faye is a contestant on a dating show and the others are hoping to be picked by her for a date. But they all have strange quirks or identities that are written on those cards. {C.J. reads his card and laughs. Yugi reads his and nods. Amarao reads his and shakes his head.} They never saw those cards before. I can't wait to see Yugi's. So whenever you're ready, take it away. Go!
Faye: {seductive voice} Bachelor number one. I love men who are big and strong and... have money. What kind of man are you?
C.J.: {lying on his side on the stool. He's not making a move.} (Singing Novelty Bass Toy) {audience laughs and cheer.} ..........
Faye: Bachelor number 1?
C.J.: {bends like a bass toy towards the audience.} {singing} Hello! How are you? We could have a ball! You can make love to me and mount me on your wall! Hey! {audience laugh and cheer as he bend back.}
Faye: Oh... Bachelor number 1... I didn't expect that. Bachelor number 2.
Yugi: {high pitch voice} Yes? (Angry midget looking for the man who slept with his wife, C.J.) {audience laugh and cheer.}
Faye: If you could shower me with all the riches in the world, what would you buy me?
Yugi: {high pitch voice} I'd buy for you a whoop-ass stick! {audience laughs.} So I could whoop the ass of the dead man who touched my love! {audience laughs as he rubs C.J.'s head.} Any man who would so far as to screw with an another man's true love describes to have my size ½ shoe up his ass! {audience laugh and cheer.}
Faye: I like tough macho guys, but you're good enough. {audience laughs.} Bachelor number 3.
Amarao: {elderly voice.} Y-yes... (Oldest Rock Star) {audience laughs.}
Faye: I like chocolate...
Amarao: Ah... chocolate... I remember when they first made chocolate... {jumps up and pretends to play a rock guitar.} {yelling and singing} IT'S THE TREAT OF THE GODS!!! {audience cheers.} THE TREAT OF THE... GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS!!! {audience is cheering and applauding. Amarao slowly sits in his seat} Oops. Time for the pill... {pretends to put something is his mouth.}
Faye: Lose the fake eyebrows and then we'll talk. {audience laughs.} Bachelor number 1. My sign is cancer, the sign of the crab. What's your sign?
C.J.: {bends over again.} {singing.} I like it when you speak! I like your pretty voice. I... {stops moving with his mouth wide open. The audience is laughing} I like... I like... I like... big butts and I cannot lie! {audience laugh and cheer as he bends back.}
Faye: I like big butts too. Bachelor number 2...
Yugi: {stroking C.J.'s hair.} I forgive ya honey. I just can't wait to... {looks in the audience.} You!!! {gets on his knees and runs up the stairs. The audience cheers and laugh. He pulls Jimmy Koto (from Detective Conan) down on stage.} You and mes gotta fight now! {he tries to drag Jimmy down, but he can't. Jimmy keeps laughing.} You! {he falls down on his back and is breathing hard.} You win this round... go back from wheres you came! {Jimmy runs back into the audience. He, as well as everyone else, is laughing.}
C.J.: {bends again.} {Chris Rock voice.} Boy! You got knocked da hell out!!! {audience is still laughing.}
Faye: Bachelor number 3. Sing me a song! {audience cheers.}
Amarao: Okay! {jumps down on his knees and pretends to play a guitar.} DAAAAAAAAAAAOW!!! {audience cheers as he rocks out. He plays it with his teeth. He pulls it back and acts like he doesn't have teeth. The audience laughs and applauds as pulls on his guitar to get his teeth back.} WHAAAAA!!! {gives the famous rock out hand gesture.} {BUZZ}
Gamer: So, who the hell are they, Faye?
Faye: Number one is a fish toy!
Gamer: YES!!! {BUZZ} {audience cheers.}
Faye: Number 2 is a 2-part answer... he's a midget, and C.J. is his girlfriend?
Gamer: He's an angry midget cause his WIFE, C.J. did what?
Faye: Slept with someone!
Gamer: Right. {BUZZ} And what about number 3?
Faye: He's my grandpa trying to be a rock star!
Gamer: Perfect! {BUZZ} {audience cheers as they all return to their seats.} You all get 5000 demi points! {audience cheers.} But after you figure it out in real points, it's only 5. {audience awws.} It sounds like a lot though! Let's go to our next game... Motown Group! This is for C.J., Yugi, and Amarao! {audience cheers as they come on stage.} What you guys are gonna do is make a Motown song about a strange topic. And you sing one verse at a time. Audience! Gimme a weird topic for a Motown song! {audience shouts out suggestion.} Taxidermist!
C.J.: Taxidermist?
Gamer: Yeah, someone who stuffs dead animals. So when the music starts, take it away! {Motown music starts. The audience cheers as they start dancing.}
C.J.: Oh-ho-ho! Yeah! Well! I'm a taxidermist, and do my job well! I make toys outta animals and make sure they don't smell! My left and right hand, they are my best friends! I use them to grab some cotton and stuff them up ends! {audience cheers.} Yeah! Yeah! Oh! {walks back.}
Yugi: {walks up.} I needed a taxidermist to stuff my dead dog! After one visit, he was stiff as a log! I asked a little question, it didn't seem to bother! I came back the next day and stuffed my grandmother! {audience laughs and cheers.} That don't rhyme... {walks back.}
Amarao: {deep base voice.} Oh, I'm a taxidermist... But I'm very bad...
Yugi and C.J.: He's very bad!
Amarao: I didn't read the manual... It got me mad!
Yugi and C.J.: He's...oh! He's very mad!
Amarao: I made a mistake, and it turned my face red. Before you stuff a tiger... make sure that it's dead! {audience laughs.} You took my grandma line! {walks back.}
C.J.: Oh! Do the Taxidermist! Yeah! Oh!
Yugi: Do the Taxidermist!
Amarao: Do the Taxidermist! Yeah! Do the...
All: Taxidermist!!! {BUZZ} {music ends and the audience cheers. They all walk back to their seats.}
Gamer: {wipes away a fake tear} I tell ya, that brought back some memories...
C.J.: Good. Keep them to yourself. {audience laughs.}
Gamer: Let's go to our next game, News Flash! This is for Faye, Yugi, and Amarao! {audience cheers as they walk on stage. Amarao walks up to the desk and takes a microphone from Gamer.} Now Amarao will be a reporter on the field. But he's not really on the field, he's in front of what we call a green screen. {Amarao is in front of a giant green screen.} He could stare right at it. All he sees is green. But to the audience and the others, they can see what's behind him thanks to the magic of TV. Faye, and Yugi have to give him clues to what's behind him and he has to figure it out before the game ends. So... let's get it on!
Yugi: {whispers to Faye.} So what do you say? A little dancing... show ya the back seat of the Camaro. {audience laughs.}
Faye: Oh... that's sounds fu... {looks at the camera.} We interrupt your broadcast to bring you this special bulletin.
Yugi: Our star reporter... Amarao is on the field. Amarao? Can you hear me?
Amarao: {looking around frantically. Behind him is some scenes from the movie Jaws. The audience is laughing and cheering.} I can barely hear you over this... this... craziness!
{scene shows the first scene where Jaws attacks the girl. The audience screams.}
Faye: My goodness, Amarao! How did all this happen?
Amarao: It all started with an endless hoedown! {Gamer and the audience laugh. The audience applauds, then screams when Jaws' head comes out of the water.}
Yugi: Look out! {Amarao starts running.} You're safe now! But I'm no expert. What exactly do you call that?
Amarao: We just call that too much Prozac. {audience laughs as the scene changes to people running from the water.} I don't know. I'm no expect either.
Faye: Tell me. What have you done to protect yourself?
Amarao: I've... {pauses.} I've not bathed in a while. {audience laughs.} It seems to be working! {scene changes to Jaws attacking a boat.}
Yugi: Can you sink your teeth into this?
Amarao: Pardon?
Yugi: Do you think you can sink your teeth into this?
Amarao: I can sink my teeth, gums, and other parts into it! {scene shows Jaw about to eat a man. The audience screams even louder.}
Faye: Any orchestrations around?
Amarao: A minor and H sharp! The sounds of sure death! {audience laughs.}
Yugi: This is pure gold that will spawn 40 crappy sequels. Am I right? {audience laugh and cheer. The scene changes to a man about to shoot Jaws.}
Amarao: You are right my friend... And also... well you're right!
Faye: Tell me, Amarao. You're so close! Some people might say you're Da- dum... Da-dum... Da-dum... {audience begin humming the Jaws theme even faster.}
Amarao: Do Do Do Do! {audience cheers. He turns around.} SMILE!!! You son of a... {BUZZ} {audience is laughing and cheering as Jaws explodes.}
Gamer: Tell me! Where are you?
Amarao: The movie Jaws!
Gamer: YES!!! {BUZZ} {audience cheer and applaud as the performers return to their seats.} Hey! We'll be right back with more Whose Line is it Anyway! Don't go anywhere! {scene fades out.}
}commercial break.{
{scene fades in., The audience is cheering.}
Gamer: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway! The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Hey! For all you fan girls out there, a Hiei Plushie will be given to the first 100 girls who say they're Hiei's love monkey! {audience cheers.} No... not really! {audience laughs.} Let's go to our next game, Scene with an Audience Member! This is for C.J. and Yugi! {audience cheers as they walk on stage. Gamer goes into the audience and stands next to a little teen girl.} Hi. What's your name?
Girl: {shyly} Shinobu (From Love Hina)
Gamer: Shinobu! You wanna be in our next game?
Shinobu: Okay!
Gamer: Let's go! {audience cheers and applauds as they go on stage. Gamer returns to his desk and gives her a card.} This is Shinobu. {Yugi and C.J. shake hands with her.} She's a little shy, but we'll fix it with this game. You two are gonna act out a scene with her, but she can only say the lines on the card, when she's prompted to. And... {laughs.} Sorry... I shoulda read this to you first... The scene is on the Titanic. C.J. is a impoverish artist... painting a nude picture of Shinobu... {audience laugh and cheer as Shinobu blushes.} Sorry bout that... Guess you're a lot shyer... But they are interrupted when Shinobu's fiancée, Yugi walks in the cabin. So whenever you're ready... GO!
C.J.: {Yugi walks off stage. C.J. pretends to draw a picture.} I finished... It's just a stick figure with boobs, though... {audience laughs.} Tell me! What do you think of it?
Shinobu: {reads the card.} That's a bad shade of lipstick for you. {audience laughs.}
C.J.: I know... I know... but what do you expect! I'm impoverished... Which I assume it means poor. {audience laughs.} But... let's forget that for now! Tell me... what else do you think of me?
Shinobu: {reads the card and laughs.} I think I'm gonna be sick! {audience laugh and cheer. C.J. fake sobs.} {whispers.} Sorry...
C.J.: Don't apologize! You're right! I get sick looking at myself! But if you could just look past that and...
Yugi: Hey! {walks on stage.} What's this nude artist doing here? {audience laugh and cheer as C.J. pretends to put some pants on.}
C.J.: It's the only way I can paint!
Yugi: Tell me you aren't staying with this impoverished artist! What can you say to me?
Shinobu: Uh... {reads the card.} You could really use a shower! {audience laughs.}
Yugi: {shouting} I do nothing but shower for you, and I find you with this...
C.J.: Don't shout at her! {grabs her Shinobu's shoulder.} She wants to be with me! Right, honey? Why don't you tell him...
Shinobu: {reads the card.} I like big butts? {audience laugh and cheer.}
C.J.: {pretends to carry a big butt.} See! She wants me!
Yugi: {shakes a little.} Whoa-a-a! I think we hit something! What do you think Shinobu?
Shinobu: {reads the card.} I could use a cold one! {audience laughs.}
C.J.: She's right! We musta hit an iceberg!
Yugi: Then it hit my side! I was the only one who moved! {audience laughs.} We better run! Come with me Shinobu!
Shinobu: {runs to him. She then reads the card.} You're uglier than he is! {audience laughs as Yugi pretends to be sad.}
Yugi: Very well... go with him! I can tell... you love him more...
C.J.: I'd run over but... {shakes his butt a little.} My ass is stuck again! {audience laughs.}
Yugi: Wait! We could use your butt as a floatation device!
C.J.: I should have told you this! My ass is really a raft! Come with me Shinobu!
Shinobu: {runs to him and reads the card.} Don't make me turn this car around! {audience laughs and cheer.}
C.J.: Honey! I told you! You can't bring a car on the ocean! {audience laughs.} Hurry! We have to go! {Yugi and Shinobu run to him and stand behind him.} {makes an air hissing sound.} Damn! It's deflated again! {audience laughs and cheers.} {BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ} {shakes Shinobu's hand again.} You were great! {they return to their seats. Shinobu runs to Gamer and shakes his hand.}
Gamer: Love havin' ya on the game! {audience is still cheering as Shinobu runs back to her seat.} Ain't so shy now, are ya? {she shakes her head and smiles. The audience cheers more.} That was great! One Trillion points for everyone! {audience cheers and applauds. All the performers pumps their fists in the air.} One trillion... Eat my dust, Regis! {audience laughs.} Let's go to our next game... Bartender! This is for everyone! {audience cheers as the 4 performers walk on stage. There is a bar scene set up to the left of the stage.} Now in this game, C.J. is a bartender who listens to the other 3 performers' troubles. When the music starts, one of the performers will walk up to the bar and sing to C.J. his or her trouble. This is a great game! Just watch and see. Okay, what I need from the audience is something Faye might be angry about...
Audience Member: Slept with an ugly man! {audience laughs.}
Gamer: That's a good one! So when the music starts... Faye, sing to him your slept with an ugly man trouble!
Faye: {dramatic music starts playing. She walks up to the bar.} Bourbon! Make it a double!
C.J.: You seem upset. Pretty girl like you, should be happy. What's on your mind, beautiful?
Faye: Well... you see... {starts singing.} I was at a party... Things go a little out of hand... But I woke up to a beauty-impaired man... {audience laughs.} I had drunk to much wine...and nearly died! When I saw the face of that guy! {audience laughs.} It isn't fair! Wouldn't you know! Why did I sleep with Quasimodo? {audience laughs and cheer.}
C.J.: Well... {starts singing.} Things aren't so bad... don't be so sad! You're answers don't come from a bottle of glass! Maybe you weren't looking at his face, but rather, his ass! {audience laughs.} No need to drown in tonic and giiiiiiiiiiin... Could be worst... You could sleep with {points to Gamer.} Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim!!! {the audience laughs and cheers was Gamer glares at C.J. The music ends.}
Gamer: Gonna miss havin' ya on the show... {audience laughs.} So now... It's Yugi's turn... give him something he's excited about, audience! {audience shouts out suggestions.} His new wig! {audience laughs.} That hair is real right?
Yugi: Yeah...
Gamer: Just checkin'... okay so take it away!
Yugi: {cheerful piano music starts playing. He walks up to the bar.} Gimme the best ya got! Nuthin' gonna trouble me today!
C.J.: Hey... {starts singing.} Nice hair! Nice hair! It's sleek and stylish and sets in the air!
Yugi: {singing} But you see! It ain't real! Though it astounds and appeals! It's was brought at the maaaaall!!! Listen to my caaaaaall! Hair! Hair! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiir!!! {audience cheers and applauds.} It might be a wig, but don't fear! It's not a dead animal, just gimme a beer! {audience laughs.}
C.J.: I'll...just...give...you...a...
Yugi and C.J.: Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!!! {audience cheers and applauds. The music ends.}
Gamer: I'd give it two Tonies... and a Frank. {audience laughs.} Now it's Amarao's turn. Give me someone he'd be in love with. {audience shouts out suggestions.} Himself! Can't beat the classics! So Amarao is in love with who? Himself! {audience laughs as romantic piano music starts playing.}
Amarao: {walks up to the bar.} Some Jack Daniels to my number one guy! Me! {audience laughs.}
C.J.: Tell me. Have you ever fallen in love?
Amarao: Well... {starts singing.} I met a guy... A deviously handsome guy... A deviously handsome guy with furry brows and a nice long... well you know! {audience laughs.} Most people say his eyebrows are fake. But don't just don't know the truth... {starts fake sobbing.} They were burnt off in a fire... {audience aws.} {laughs.} He also a liar... {audience groans and laughs.} He's the greatest guy you ever met! So cool, you'd cry! It's three guys! Me, myself and I! {audience applauds.}
C.J.: I must say... {puts a hand on Amarao's shoulder.} I felt the same way... {points to himself.} I love myself everyday! {audience laughs.} Bet my guy could kick your guy's ass!
Amarao: Bring it on! {they start fake punching each other, making the audience laugh and cheer ever more.} {BUZZ} {the audience applauds as they get up and shake hands. The audience starts cheering.}
Gamer: We'll be right back with a winner! So don't go anywhere! {scene fades out.}
}commercial break{
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering. Gamer, C.J., Faye, and Amarao are sanding on stage. Yugi is at the desk.}
Gamer: Welcome back to Whose Line it Anyway! Tonight's winner... Yugi Moto! {audience cheers as Yugi nods and smiles.} So the rest have to do a game for you called, Questions Only! {audience cheers and applauds.} What we gotta do in this game is that, we're only allowed to speak in questions only. If someone messes up, another person takes his or her place! Great game at a party with no chicks or booze! Yugi! What is out scene?
Yugi: {reads a card.} A bank robbery.
Gamer: So Faye and Amarao will start first. Me and C.J. next. So whenever you guys are ready! {he walks to the off stage to the left. C.J. walks to the right.}
Amarao: {points his fingers at Faye like guns.} Gimme all your money in a paper... {pauses.} Damn! {BUZZ} {he walks off stage while the audience laughs.}
Gamer: The game is QUESTIONS only...
C.J.: {walks on stage. He points his fingers like guns at Faye.} Can you give me all your money in a paper bag? {audience laughs and cheers.}
Faye: Oh! {scared.} Is-is-is this a robbery?
C.J.: What do you think?
Faye: What happened to the security guards?
C.J.: You mean the guys in Burger King hats? {audience laughs.}
Faye: Those weren't guards?
C.J.: What do you think they say, 'You want fries with that?' {audience laughs.}
Faye: ....... I don't know... {BUZZ} {she walks off stage. Gamer walks up.}
Gamer: Checking or Savings account?
C.J.: Can't you see this is a hold-up?!
Gamer: Is that like savings? {audience laughs.}
C.J.: Are you new here?
Gamer: Am I doin' sumthin' wrong?
C.J.: {mocking} Am I doin' sumthin' wrong? {audience laughs.} You some sorta idiot?
Gamer: You speak that way to people?
C.J.: ............ {walks off. The audience laughs.} {BUZZ}
Amarao: {walks up.} Do you want to live or die?
Gamer: That a trick question?
Amarao: Do I look like I'm joking?
Gamer: Maybe if you... aw... crap! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as he walks off stage. Faye takes his place.}
Faye: {screaming.} SIR!!! WON'T YOU PLEASE STAND BEHIND THE LINE!?!?! {audience laughs and applauds.} CAN YOU NOT WAIT UNTIL THE TELLER CALLS YOU OVER?!?!? {the audience cheers.}
Amarao: Can you run that by me again? {audience laughs.}
Faye: No... I can't! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as she walks off stage. Gamer returns.}
Gamer: Hey! Didn't you see me rob this bank first?
Amarao: {laughs as he walks off stage.} {BUZZ} {C.J. takes his place.}
C.J.: You robbin' this bank?
Gamer: Who wants to know?
C.J.: {pretends to hold up a badge.} Don't you know you're under arrest?
Gamer: You gonna read me my rights? {audience laughs.}
C.J.: {sigh.} {pretends to read something.} Do you know you have the right to remain silent? Do you know that anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law? {audience laughs and cheers as he goes on.} Do you know that you have a right to an attorney? Do you know that if you do not have an attorney, the court will provide one for you? Do you know that if you fail to show up in court, a warrant will be released for your arrest? {audience applauds when he finishes.}
Gamer:.......... What? {audience laughs even more.}
C.J.: ......... Spread em'! {pretends to hold up a nightstick.}
Gamer: Whoa! {defends himself.} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {audience cheers and applauds.} That's all we have for tonight! Join us next time for more Whose Line is it Anyway! Bye! {scene fades out.}