Translations:

Ada- father

Goheno nin- forgive me

No i Melain na le- may the Valar be with you

Gerich veleth nín- you have my love

No i brestanneth anírach tírad vi amar- be the change you wish to see in the world

Gwend sui lotheg i edlothia an-uir- friendship is like a flower that blooms forever

Chapter 14 Acceptance

Legolas waited five minutes after Aragorn had left before standing. He immediately had to grab the back of the chair to keep himself from falling as his knees gave out and his head swam.

"Give me the strength to finish this," he prayed as he forced himself to stand upright. He was wasting time. It would not take long for Aragorn to reach the kitchen and come back. He regretted lying to the ranger, and he knew that Aragorn truly wanted to help him, but the man could not help him. No one could. He went to a cupboard and pulled out one of his sharp knives. He strapped it onto his back and turned, leaving the cupboard door standing open. His eyes glanced upon the package on the bed. Before he knew what he was doing, he had picked it up and unwrapped it. His hands lovingly ran over the quiver, his fingers tracing the runes. He blinked back the tears that threatened and stood. He gently placed the quiver on the bed. His resolve, which had been wavering, firmed up. He stood at the dresser and wrote a few words on a piece of paper. He caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. Was that hollow eyed, unkempt elf, really him? He ran one hand over his reflection, then curled it into a fist and drove it into the accusing eyes. He stared dispassionately at the blood that dripped from his clenched fist. It mattered not. He grabbed a cloak then walked out the door without a backward glance.

Aragorn knew something was wrong the moment he stepped into the room. Legolas was nowhere to be seen. He set the tray he was bearing onto a small table, and went to inspect the room. The first thing he saw was the shards of the mirror lying on the floor surrounded by drops of blood. Next he saw the cupboard door. He knew that was where Legolas kept his weapons. He went over and took stock. His heart plunged sickly when he saw that one of the knives was missing. He was afraid that Legolas had gone off to end his life. He went to the dresser and read the note there.

"Goheno nin. . Ada, Gerich veleth nín. Estel, No i brestanneth anírach tírad vi amar. Gwend sui lotheg i edlothia an-uir. No i Melain na le. Legolas"

Fear bloomed in Aragorn's heart as he read Legolas' note, and he cursed himself for being several kinds of a fool for falling for the elf's trick. He knew he had to find Legolas , but the question was where to look. He didn't think that Legolas would have been able to get far, not in the condition that he was in. He had only had ten, maybe fifteen minutes to make his escape. A blinding flash of lightning illuminated the room, just as Aragorn was looking towards the window. Before the world went dark again he caught a brief glimpse of a figure moving into the forest. Aragorn knew immediately who it was and where it was headed. Legolas was going to Yesel's grave. Without a pause, Aragorn ran out of the room and started making his way through the palace. He had to get to Legolas before the elf could harm himself. He reached the door, and plunged out into the cold wet night.

Legolas paid no heed to the falling rain. He approached the grave of his wife and knelt down beside it. He noticed a fresh wreath of flowers had been placed onto the still fresh earth. "Soon there will be two graves to attend to," he thought idly as his fingers played absently with the floral wreath.

"I will be with you soon my love," he whispered. He removed his knife and stared entranced at the sharp blade. He threw off his cloak and placed the tip of the knife over his heart. He slowly raised his arms. He thought briefly of his father, then brought the knife down with as much strength as he could muster. The killing blow was deflected by a sword. The knife flew from Legolas' hands and landed a few feet away. Legolas looked up into the stony face of Aragorn.

"Are you mad?"

"Aye, I am quite mad. Go away Estel. Let me be."

"Did you really think that I would stand by and let you throw your life away?"

"It is my life to do with as I wish, and right now I wish to die. If you were my friend you would walk away and not look back. Leave me to my business."

"I will not leave and let you commit this folly."

"Estel please," Legolas pleaded. "I do not wish to live this life without her." He turned away and took two steps toward his knife.

"What about what she wanted;" Aragorn asked softly. Those five words froze Legolas to the bone. He wheeled around to face Aragorn, the knife temporarily forgotten.

"I know what she wanted. She wanted to live. She wanted children of our own. She wanted to go visit her family. She did not want to be killed on her wedding day." Aragorn saw more expression on Legolas' face now, than he had since Yesel had been killed. He thought he now knew how to bring the elf out of his suicidal depression. "Let me be convincing," he thought.

"It's all so clear to me now Legolas. This is all about you. You don't want to die because you loved Yesel. You want to die because you feel guilty."

"That's not true. I do love her," Legolas ground out.

"It's either that, or you were afraid to die. You were a coward. You just don't want everyone to find out that the great Legolas acted like a coward and as a result, Yesel was killed. You know it's probably a good thing that Yesel is dead. Better to be dead than find out you married a coward." With a roar Legolas lunged at him. Aragorn slipped on the wet grass and they both fell to the ground.

The fight was short but violent, and when it was over both Aragorn and Legolas were suffering from multiple cuts and bruises. Aragorn stood and watched Legolas as he lay on the grass panting for breath. The elf's inactivity had led him to soon tire. Legolas sat up and drew his knees to his chest. Aragorn thought that he was no drained enough to listen to reason.

"Legolas," the elf looked up at him. "I do not believe anything I said of you. I needed you to stop focusing on death. I know you loved her well."

"You were not entirely wrong either. I am guilty of causing her death."

"No Legolas. You can not be blamed for what the Orcs did."

"I left Rotziggy alive. I gave him a reason for revenge."

"Why did you leave him alive?"

"Yesel wanted me too. She didn't like killing. I think she felt sorry for him because we killed his mate. I listened to he because she was wounded and I wanted to get her back so she could be healed."

"You can not be faulted for that Legolas. All you did was what she asked of you. Her death was not of your making."

"I want to believe that Estel," Legolas said as he lowered his head to his knees.

"Then believe it. If blame must be placed, put it on the evilness of the Orcs. She loved you. Her last words to me were about you. She was worried that you were going to follow her. She wanted you to be happy. She made me promise that I would help you. Know this too, you were not the only one to lose her Legolas. There are many other who mourn as well."

Legolas made no sound, but his shaking shoulders belied his crying. Aragorn went over and sat beside him. "How many times has one of us had to comfort the other," he wondered as he placed his arm around his friends shoulders, and held him as he cried.

"Can you accept this now Legolas? Can you live as she wanted you too?

"Yes, I will live. Not because I want to, but because it is what she wanted for me." He raised his head and placed it on Aragorn's shoulder

"Help me Estel. I do not think I can do this by myself."

"You will not have to go through this alone. I will be here to help you." They looked at the grave. Aragorn felt Legolas' breath even out and realized the exhausted elf had fallen asleep. Aragorn felt his own eyes grow heavy and closed them. That is how Gandalf, Elrond, and Thranduil found them half an hour later.