You love me! You really love me!! Well, you like the story more....I
understand.
Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket. I don't own 'The Godfather' either. Otherwise i'd be very very rich.
Easily Amused : 'The Godfather' Is The Man's Bible
Women always say that men are pigs. Which in every right they are. But have you ever seen an heiress to a crock load of money shove an entire hamburger down her throat? It's scary really. I think Patricia just unhinged her jaw and swallowed it. Has she never tasted a burger before? I gained fifty pounds from the things as a kid. What? You don't honestly think that twelve on my 112 pounds are from my chest alone, do you? Of course not. Like every American, I let the golden arch and the tempting offer to 'have it my way' take over my senses. Oh well. Fast food would never be the same after Patricia though. The conversation we had was even more entertaining. Can you believe that she had never seen 'Pirates of the Carribean'?
"So anyway, Jack Sparrow steals the ship and lets Will Turner know that his father was a pirate." Patricia gawked at me with her round brown eyes.
"And then what?" I drowned a French Fry in a puddle of ketchup, pretending the little Belgian potato was Shigure. Yep, that's right. French Fries are not French at all. They're Belgian. Just some food for thought, no pun intended.
"I don't really know. My neighbors closed the curtains before I could finish the movie. And my mom won't let us rent it because of Johnny Depp." Don't get me wrong, my mother thinks Johnny Depp is the hottest thing that ever walked on two legs. But Meredith is terrifed of the man, all because of a little run in with scissors and me telling her that if she didn't behave, we would name her Edward and make the scissors a part of her body. I guess I should've waited until before she had seen 'Edward Scissorhands'. We stepped outside as soon as I finished my meal, considering that Patricia had inhaled hers in a matter of seconds, sipping at our soft drinks. We were both still dressed in evening gowns, although i'll admit I probably looked worse out of the two of us. We turned the corner to find an electronics store, television set lining its window. All the screens were blue, too. It was almost creepy. And then I noticed the fly sitting so patiently. But I couldn't tell if it was on the t.v. screen or the glass window. Temptation was becoming unbearable.
"Well tooty fruity! I SO remember this scene from 'The Ring'. Where the fly came off the screen and such?" A tiny smirk played at my lips as I watched Patricia's almond eyes widened. "You know, the movie originated in Japan. This could most definetly be a sequel..." She held her palm out and began to outstretch her arm towards the tiny insect. And in this little motion, I took her hand and slammed it against the glass, smushing the flying pest. Patricia glared at me and wiped her hand on her dress.
"Gross...." Hmm.....guess it was on the glass after all. But Patricia laughed afterwards so it was all peachy.
We departed after that when a long limo picked her up after circling the block on her command. I wish I had that kind of power over a vehicle. If I told my Pinto to circle around the block a few times, it would probably leave me there stranded, as if taunting me. I walked alone down the desolate street, relocating the ice cubes in my cup. I had made it to the corner when I finally heard the footsteps following me. Great. Just my friggin luck. I paused before the corner and threw my cup of ice at the strangers, running for my life. But take in mind that I had no idea where I was now and was instantly regretting my refusal to Patricia's ride. Curse my fear of long vehicles!! I twirled around, my right leg up in the praying mantis postion. Of course I had no idea what good the praying mantis move would do. The extent of my martial art skills went as far as Bruce Lee movies and that's about it, with the exception of the one hour class in first grade. My mother had enrolled me but I was kicked out after punching my instructor in the groin. He deserved it. I mean the manhad called me a tempermental brat and wasn't even good looking for that matter. After I told my mother why I had come home early, she enrolled me in a different course : self defense. But my sexless (we could never tell if it was a man with boobs or a woman with an Adam's Apple) teacher never taught the importance of the praying mantis.
"Back it up!! I'm American and I know where your soft spot is." They edged closer, before a familiar voice shouted from behind, binding my arms with his own.
"Dusty, please, don't fight with us on this." Hatori??!! What in the name of Angelina Jolie was he kidnapping me for?! But the way I figured it, I need not suffer in silence while I can still kick, scream, moan, whimper, and complain. And I did just that. I thrusted my torn panthosed legs out, screamed at the top of my lungs everytime Hatori's hand left my mouth. "I knew it!! You were out to get me the whole time!! Help!!!"
"Shut her up already, Hatori!!" Kyou? And to think I was going to help the little jerk. So help me, if I ever get loose out of Dr. Satan's grip....
An hour later, I was sitting a freezer, chilled to the bone. There were four guys present - Ayame, Hatori, Yuki, and Kyou, and none of them had granted me a jacket of any kind for my bare shoulders. Some gentlemen they are. Not that I didn't feel the least but satisfied. In the time since they had taken me hostage, I had managed to leave several scrapes and bruises on all of them and kicked one guy in the groin. And what's with the damn freezer anyway?! Geez, I feel like i'm in a mafia movie. Except there's no dashing young Al Pacino or a string of Italian jibberish. Men are like that though. They believe that every answer in life lies within 'The Godfather'. Want to shut an American up? Take them to a freezer and threaten them. Angry with a rival gang member? Send them a fish. What do you do when your brother in law beats your sister senseless? Kick his ass in the middle of the street, of course. It's like the men's Bible. But I doubted that they wanted to kill me. Torture me with jackets? Possibly. But not kill me. I ran my hands up my shoulders, glaring at every single being with the piece of anatomy that God didn't bestow upon. Mental post it : Thank God later on for refusing me a penis and granting me a chest.
"W-w-w-what do you w-w-w-want?" My teeth created their own little samba. All I needed now was a good Latin singer and we were game! Hatori spoke first, receiving the occasional nod of agreement from the other jackasses.
"The information you gathered on the curse." I quirked an eyebrow. What, did they think I had it stored on a disk and carried it everywhere I went? I was in a strapless gown and my purse was about the size of a pillbox! Where exactly would I store such an object?! I take that back, there were SOME places I could hide the piece of plastic.
"You brought me here for THAT?! I thought I would at least get a warning not to lay on Shigure like that ever again. Instead, you want info?!" All eyes went wide. I was going to have to watch my mouth from now on.
"What did you do to my dear Shigure!?" Not this again. I could tell I was going to have to have a long conversation with this man. Sure, i'd break his heart by telling him I slept with the writer first, but you live, you learn, and you get drunk afterwards. But I kept my cool in this situation. Not that I had choice with the tempature.
"I didn't kill him if that's what you mean... I simply gave him a shiner." The other three, minus Yuki, ran to the aid to their dear friend. Men made me so sick. I could see it now : I would have to become a love and move to Switzerland to fall in love. Or was that musical in Sweden? Yuki kneeled before me handing me the jacket he was wearing.
"You should apologize to him, you know." I wrapped myself in the warm clothing and gave Yuki a half glare.
"Yeah, right. Like he deserves an apology more than me." He sighed, a small puff of smoke escaping his mouth.
"I didn't mean it that way. You deserve an apology as well. It's just..." I finally gave in. I knew what he meant and he was absolutely right. I was hopelessly in love with Shigure. I shrugged off the coat and headed over to the Sohma house.
I was so near that I could see the light of the front door pouring in onto the front land of the Sohma household. I stopped, fearing that maybe I was being too brash in coming here like this. I mean, I had just attacked the man and was now coming to say sorry? What was my excuse? PMS? It wouldn't work in jail and it certainly wouldn't work here. Besides, I tried that once when I punched this kid for saying chickens looked better than me. Note that I hadn't quite reached puberty and that PMS was scientifically proven wrong in court. I took one more step before I heard it. The laughter of a woman. And the woman wasn't Tohru. No, this was a professional flirting technique she was using, something Tohru had not accomplished yet. I ducked behind the bushes as two people came around the corner.
"You're so funny Shigure!! I can't believe a woman hasn't picked you up yet!!" Ick. Her laugh sounded like the mating call of a giraffe. I knew that nature show was good for more than its cute host. And he wasn't THAT funny!! Plus, a woman DID pick him up!! ME!!! Wait, what am I saying? I peeked over the rough foliage to see that she was blonde, and a bit taller than Shigure. Course, it could've been the sleek high heels. And her dress was so....tight. Could she even breathe?!
"Well i'll just have to be careful that I don't let you pick me up, huh?" Ah! I toppled over in the bush, silencing them for a moment. Get yourself together before you get yourself caught, Dusty!!
"Well it's been fun, but i'm afraid I have to leave your good company." She pressed her fingers upon her lips and kissed them before pressing them to Shigure's. Oh that was it!! Gah! Snap out of it girlfriend!! I hid deeper in the shade that the trees and bushes provided as she walked out of the entrance.
"You can come out now, Dusty." You've GOT to be kidding me!! I kept to the ground even though my identity had been revealed.
"How did you know?" I curled my knees up to my chest and hugged them. I hope he didn't enjoy that woman's company.
"Call it intuition." He was now hovering over me and I finally noticed just how bad the shiner was turning out. I must've been so angry that I didn't...."You're a mess. Let's get you cleaned up." Was he brain dead or something? I socked him a good one only hours before.
"ATOOT! ATOOT!" I looked up at him, strands of chestnut hair working free of their pins. And you know what I saw? Worry. Worry on a man's face that I had just bruised.
"And you're catching a bug. Come on." He bent down and placed a hand under my elbow and one around my waist, slowly picking me up. We walked that way until we entered his house.
I had watched his every move, from when he placed me on the couch, to when he fixed some hot tea, and to when he sat in front of me with a hot cup and a wet cloth. And then, like it was natural for him to do so, he ever so gently began to rub off the smeared makeup from my face. I sighed and took a drink from the cup.
"You don't have to do this." He REALLY didn't have to do this. I felt bad enough as it was. Plus, this closeness couldn't be good for a woman's health.
"I'm the reason you're like this. Now hold still!" I couldn't help but fidget underneath his touch. It was making me nervous.
"Sorry." There. I had said it. And it didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would.
"Don't be. It's not like I can help my manly magnetism!" Who did he think he was?! I shoved his hand away and stood up, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Yeah right! I avoided you up until this point!" He also stood, his body towering over mine. So he was going to pull the intemidating stance was he? Not in my lifetime pal! I gave a slight huff of air and pulled the table over to where we stood, standing up on the hard wood so that I was even with his height.
"Keyword: until."
"Trust me. You're avoidable." A smirk played at his mouth and I gaped as he began to snicker.
"Ms. Braum doesn't seem to think so." Gr!! He brought up the wench!! Alright then, you wanna play dirty? Well i'm not very dirty but i'll bring out the big guns if it'll shut you up! He glared daggers into him before creating a smile of my own.
"Neither does Elijah." If I was capable of dancing without making a fool of myself, then I would. If there was one thing I had learned from Japan, it was the fact that the Japanese address you by your only if you have a close relationship. Shigure had only just met Ms. Braum so therefore he didn't consider her that close and used her last name. But the fact I used Elijah's first name....well, let's just say I could feel the blood boiling in Shigure. "As you heard earlier, he thinks the world of me." Now if that was true, I have no idea. But it sure sounded good, did it not? However, Shigure had the right deck of cards. He had played this game before. He IS older. Mental post it : Throw his age in his face later.
"I bet you couldn't last one week with that Elijah Johnson!"
"I bet you couldn't last a week with that Ms. Braum!!" I was on my tippy toes now and had my fists balled. We were so close by now that our noses were touching.
"Fine then, bet's on. What do each of us get if we lose?" I had to think about this one. The possibilities were endless and the perverted ones ranged even furthur. Yet, the answer was so clear.
"If I lose, you can have anything your heart desires. Whether it be me as your maid, your dishwasher, or to have me....leave you...forever." I hated to even think the last part. "And if I win, you HAVE to tell me EXACTLY how you feel about me."
"Deal." And so it was on. I had one week to prove to myself that Elijah was my fantasy and I was his. Or at least enough to last a week. The guidelines went as followed: dates only. No sexual escapades. Dates had to be confirmed by Ms. Braum or Elijah, which meant that neither of us could ask them out. And it had to be in the presence of either me or Shigure. Basically, everywhere me and Elijah went, Shigure and his tramp were there also. But I couldn't help but have that damn cricket/conscience whispering that all this was a bad idea. But do I ever listen to him? Of course not! Let's plow!
Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket. I don't own 'The Godfather' either. Otherwise i'd be very very rich.
Easily Amused : 'The Godfather' Is The Man's Bible
Women always say that men are pigs. Which in every right they are. But have you ever seen an heiress to a crock load of money shove an entire hamburger down her throat? It's scary really. I think Patricia just unhinged her jaw and swallowed it. Has she never tasted a burger before? I gained fifty pounds from the things as a kid. What? You don't honestly think that twelve on my 112 pounds are from my chest alone, do you? Of course not. Like every American, I let the golden arch and the tempting offer to 'have it my way' take over my senses. Oh well. Fast food would never be the same after Patricia though. The conversation we had was even more entertaining. Can you believe that she had never seen 'Pirates of the Carribean'?
"So anyway, Jack Sparrow steals the ship and lets Will Turner know that his father was a pirate." Patricia gawked at me with her round brown eyes.
"And then what?" I drowned a French Fry in a puddle of ketchup, pretending the little Belgian potato was Shigure. Yep, that's right. French Fries are not French at all. They're Belgian. Just some food for thought, no pun intended.
"I don't really know. My neighbors closed the curtains before I could finish the movie. And my mom won't let us rent it because of Johnny Depp." Don't get me wrong, my mother thinks Johnny Depp is the hottest thing that ever walked on two legs. But Meredith is terrifed of the man, all because of a little run in with scissors and me telling her that if she didn't behave, we would name her Edward and make the scissors a part of her body. I guess I should've waited until before she had seen 'Edward Scissorhands'. We stepped outside as soon as I finished my meal, considering that Patricia had inhaled hers in a matter of seconds, sipping at our soft drinks. We were both still dressed in evening gowns, although i'll admit I probably looked worse out of the two of us. We turned the corner to find an electronics store, television set lining its window. All the screens were blue, too. It was almost creepy. And then I noticed the fly sitting so patiently. But I couldn't tell if it was on the t.v. screen or the glass window. Temptation was becoming unbearable.
"Well tooty fruity! I SO remember this scene from 'The Ring'. Where the fly came off the screen and such?" A tiny smirk played at my lips as I watched Patricia's almond eyes widened. "You know, the movie originated in Japan. This could most definetly be a sequel..." She held her palm out and began to outstretch her arm towards the tiny insect. And in this little motion, I took her hand and slammed it against the glass, smushing the flying pest. Patricia glared at me and wiped her hand on her dress.
"Gross...." Hmm.....guess it was on the glass after all. But Patricia laughed afterwards so it was all peachy.
We departed after that when a long limo picked her up after circling the block on her command. I wish I had that kind of power over a vehicle. If I told my Pinto to circle around the block a few times, it would probably leave me there stranded, as if taunting me. I walked alone down the desolate street, relocating the ice cubes in my cup. I had made it to the corner when I finally heard the footsteps following me. Great. Just my friggin luck. I paused before the corner and threw my cup of ice at the strangers, running for my life. But take in mind that I had no idea where I was now and was instantly regretting my refusal to Patricia's ride. Curse my fear of long vehicles!! I twirled around, my right leg up in the praying mantis postion. Of course I had no idea what good the praying mantis move would do. The extent of my martial art skills went as far as Bruce Lee movies and that's about it, with the exception of the one hour class in first grade. My mother had enrolled me but I was kicked out after punching my instructor in the groin. He deserved it. I mean the manhad called me a tempermental brat and wasn't even good looking for that matter. After I told my mother why I had come home early, she enrolled me in a different course : self defense. But my sexless (we could never tell if it was a man with boobs or a woman with an Adam's Apple) teacher never taught the importance of the praying mantis.
"Back it up!! I'm American and I know where your soft spot is." They edged closer, before a familiar voice shouted from behind, binding my arms with his own.
"Dusty, please, don't fight with us on this." Hatori??!! What in the name of Angelina Jolie was he kidnapping me for?! But the way I figured it, I need not suffer in silence while I can still kick, scream, moan, whimper, and complain. And I did just that. I thrusted my torn panthosed legs out, screamed at the top of my lungs everytime Hatori's hand left my mouth. "I knew it!! You were out to get me the whole time!! Help!!!"
"Shut her up already, Hatori!!" Kyou? And to think I was going to help the little jerk. So help me, if I ever get loose out of Dr. Satan's grip....
An hour later, I was sitting a freezer, chilled to the bone. There were four guys present - Ayame, Hatori, Yuki, and Kyou, and none of them had granted me a jacket of any kind for my bare shoulders. Some gentlemen they are. Not that I didn't feel the least but satisfied. In the time since they had taken me hostage, I had managed to leave several scrapes and bruises on all of them and kicked one guy in the groin. And what's with the damn freezer anyway?! Geez, I feel like i'm in a mafia movie. Except there's no dashing young Al Pacino or a string of Italian jibberish. Men are like that though. They believe that every answer in life lies within 'The Godfather'. Want to shut an American up? Take them to a freezer and threaten them. Angry with a rival gang member? Send them a fish. What do you do when your brother in law beats your sister senseless? Kick his ass in the middle of the street, of course. It's like the men's Bible. But I doubted that they wanted to kill me. Torture me with jackets? Possibly. But not kill me. I ran my hands up my shoulders, glaring at every single being with the piece of anatomy that God didn't bestow upon. Mental post it : Thank God later on for refusing me a penis and granting me a chest.
"W-w-w-what do you w-w-w-want?" My teeth created their own little samba. All I needed now was a good Latin singer and we were game! Hatori spoke first, receiving the occasional nod of agreement from the other jackasses.
"The information you gathered on the curse." I quirked an eyebrow. What, did they think I had it stored on a disk and carried it everywhere I went? I was in a strapless gown and my purse was about the size of a pillbox! Where exactly would I store such an object?! I take that back, there were SOME places I could hide the piece of plastic.
"You brought me here for THAT?! I thought I would at least get a warning not to lay on Shigure like that ever again. Instead, you want info?!" All eyes went wide. I was going to have to watch my mouth from now on.
"What did you do to my dear Shigure!?" Not this again. I could tell I was going to have to have a long conversation with this man. Sure, i'd break his heart by telling him I slept with the writer first, but you live, you learn, and you get drunk afterwards. But I kept my cool in this situation. Not that I had choice with the tempature.
"I didn't kill him if that's what you mean... I simply gave him a shiner." The other three, minus Yuki, ran to the aid to their dear friend. Men made me so sick. I could see it now : I would have to become a love and move to Switzerland to fall in love. Or was that musical in Sweden? Yuki kneeled before me handing me the jacket he was wearing.
"You should apologize to him, you know." I wrapped myself in the warm clothing and gave Yuki a half glare.
"Yeah, right. Like he deserves an apology more than me." He sighed, a small puff of smoke escaping his mouth.
"I didn't mean it that way. You deserve an apology as well. It's just..." I finally gave in. I knew what he meant and he was absolutely right. I was hopelessly in love with Shigure. I shrugged off the coat and headed over to the Sohma house.
I was so near that I could see the light of the front door pouring in onto the front land of the Sohma household. I stopped, fearing that maybe I was being too brash in coming here like this. I mean, I had just attacked the man and was now coming to say sorry? What was my excuse? PMS? It wouldn't work in jail and it certainly wouldn't work here. Besides, I tried that once when I punched this kid for saying chickens looked better than me. Note that I hadn't quite reached puberty and that PMS was scientifically proven wrong in court. I took one more step before I heard it. The laughter of a woman. And the woman wasn't Tohru. No, this was a professional flirting technique she was using, something Tohru had not accomplished yet. I ducked behind the bushes as two people came around the corner.
"You're so funny Shigure!! I can't believe a woman hasn't picked you up yet!!" Ick. Her laugh sounded like the mating call of a giraffe. I knew that nature show was good for more than its cute host. And he wasn't THAT funny!! Plus, a woman DID pick him up!! ME!!! Wait, what am I saying? I peeked over the rough foliage to see that she was blonde, and a bit taller than Shigure. Course, it could've been the sleek high heels. And her dress was so....tight. Could she even breathe?!
"Well i'll just have to be careful that I don't let you pick me up, huh?" Ah! I toppled over in the bush, silencing them for a moment. Get yourself together before you get yourself caught, Dusty!!
"Well it's been fun, but i'm afraid I have to leave your good company." She pressed her fingers upon her lips and kissed them before pressing them to Shigure's. Oh that was it!! Gah! Snap out of it girlfriend!! I hid deeper in the shade that the trees and bushes provided as she walked out of the entrance.
"You can come out now, Dusty." You've GOT to be kidding me!! I kept to the ground even though my identity had been revealed.
"How did you know?" I curled my knees up to my chest and hugged them. I hope he didn't enjoy that woman's company.
"Call it intuition." He was now hovering over me and I finally noticed just how bad the shiner was turning out. I must've been so angry that I didn't...."You're a mess. Let's get you cleaned up." Was he brain dead or something? I socked him a good one only hours before.
"ATOOT! ATOOT!" I looked up at him, strands of chestnut hair working free of their pins. And you know what I saw? Worry. Worry on a man's face that I had just bruised.
"And you're catching a bug. Come on." He bent down and placed a hand under my elbow and one around my waist, slowly picking me up. We walked that way until we entered his house.
I had watched his every move, from when he placed me on the couch, to when he fixed some hot tea, and to when he sat in front of me with a hot cup and a wet cloth. And then, like it was natural for him to do so, he ever so gently began to rub off the smeared makeup from my face. I sighed and took a drink from the cup.
"You don't have to do this." He REALLY didn't have to do this. I felt bad enough as it was. Plus, this closeness couldn't be good for a woman's health.
"I'm the reason you're like this. Now hold still!" I couldn't help but fidget underneath his touch. It was making me nervous.
"Sorry." There. I had said it. And it didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would.
"Don't be. It's not like I can help my manly magnetism!" Who did he think he was?! I shoved his hand away and stood up, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Yeah right! I avoided you up until this point!" He also stood, his body towering over mine. So he was going to pull the intemidating stance was he? Not in my lifetime pal! I gave a slight huff of air and pulled the table over to where we stood, standing up on the hard wood so that I was even with his height.
"Keyword: until."
"Trust me. You're avoidable." A smirk played at his mouth and I gaped as he began to snicker.
"Ms. Braum doesn't seem to think so." Gr!! He brought up the wench!! Alright then, you wanna play dirty? Well i'm not very dirty but i'll bring out the big guns if it'll shut you up! He glared daggers into him before creating a smile of my own.
"Neither does Elijah." If I was capable of dancing without making a fool of myself, then I would. If there was one thing I had learned from Japan, it was the fact that the Japanese address you by your only if you have a close relationship. Shigure had only just met Ms. Braum so therefore he didn't consider her that close and used her last name. But the fact I used Elijah's first name....well, let's just say I could feel the blood boiling in Shigure. "As you heard earlier, he thinks the world of me." Now if that was true, I have no idea. But it sure sounded good, did it not? However, Shigure had the right deck of cards. He had played this game before. He IS older. Mental post it : Throw his age in his face later.
"I bet you couldn't last one week with that Elijah Johnson!"
"I bet you couldn't last a week with that Ms. Braum!!" I was on my tippy toes now and had my fists balled. We were so close by now that our noses were touching.
"Fine then, bet's on. What do each of us get if we lose?" I had to think about this one. The possibilities were endless and the perverted ones ranged even furthur. Yet, the answer was so clear.
"If I lose, you can have anything your heart desires. Whether it be me as your maid, your dishwasher, or to have me....leave you...forever." I hated to even think the last part. "And if I win, you HAVE to tell me EXACTLY how you feel about me."
"Deal." And so it was on. I had one week to prove to myself that Elijah was my fantasy and I was his. Or at least enough to last a week. The guidelines went as followed: dates only. No sexual escapades. Dates had to be confirmed by Ms. Braum or Elijah, which meant that neither of us could ask them out. And it had to be in the presence of either me or Shigure. Basically, everywhere me and Elijah went, Shigure and his tramp were there also. But I couldn't help but have that damn cricket/conscience whispering that all this was a bad idea. But do I ever listen to him? Of course not! Let's plow!