NOTES: Takes place during the summer between Buffy Seasons 6 and 7.
Vampires, Gargoyles, and Germs
by Zzilly14
Three hours had passed since the phone call. Sharona was on her cell phone making sure her son Benjy was getting to bed okay. Elisa kept reading through the file folder, trying to figure out what happened to the victim. Goliath and Monk were outside of the office, talking.
"So, Goliath... how long have you been dating Elisa?"
"Dating?" The huge gargoyle began to chuckle loudly. Everyone around stared at him briefly before getting back to their duties. "What would make you think we were romantically involved?"
Monk began to list off different things. "Whenever you look at each other, you give each other a little loving smile. I was curious when Sharona was on the phone earlier, you held hands, but only for a brief second because you didn't want us to notice. And you touch each other occasionally, on the back or the shoulder or the hand."
"You are very observant..." a surprised Goliath stated. "Well, we did date for a couple of years before we got married, as you'd call it. We were actually in the middle of our extended honeymoon before you requested our help. But we like to keep the 'being married' thing a secret. I'd love to have it out in the open, because I love her more than anything, but we agreed to keep it quiet for a while."
"Ah," Monk pondered. "That's... interesting."
"Are you married, Monk?"
"Yes. And no. Yes, yes I am."
"Which is it?"
Sharona stepped out of the office and explained to Goliath, "His wife died."
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize... How long has it been?"
"Seven years," Monk replied.
...
"I don't see why you insist on coming with," the young blonde muttered to the man driving. "I can handle this myself."
"Are you so sure? Buffy, we haven't had reports coming from San Fran in a long time. Something's up, and I want to find out what it is."
"You just want to fight alongside me again, admit it."
He laughed. "Well..."
"Look, the sun's coming up soon," she interrupted. Time for me to drive."
...
"See you tonight, Big Guy," Elisa smiled. Quietly she whispered, "Love you."
"Love you too, my Elisa," Goliath beamed before hardening into stone.
"That's so sweet!" Sharona grinned as she looked at the embarrassed Elisa.
Monk was amazed at the stone transformation, backing away. "That... that was different. How'd he do that?"
Elisa explained, "Gargoyles turn to stone in the day. It's how they sleep."
Sharona studied the stone statue. "That is so neat. Benjy would love to see this."
"Benjy?" asked Elisa.
"My son. He's always been fascinated by gargoyles – always wanted to meet one."
"Maybe we can arrange for him to meet Goliath after we finish this case."
...
"You look tired," Elisa worried. "Get some sleep." Monk was pacing back and forth while a peaceful Sharona sat sleeping in the captain's chair.
"I can't... not with that stone gargoyle staring at me. Can't you just, turn him in the other direction or something?"
The female detective rolled her eyes and reluctantly forced her stone husband to face the corner.
"Thank you," Monk replied.
"Go to sleep. Sharona is. I'll stay awake and wait for our guest, okay?"
The San Fran detective kept pacing, refusing to rest.
Elisa sighed and decided to get some sleep while she could, but before she could even close her eyes the office phone rang. "I'll get it," she muttered. "Hello?" she answered as she picked it up. "Anyone there? Hello? Anyone?"
Sharona stretched out as she yawned. "Who was it?" she wondered.
"I don't know. The other side was quiet."
"That's weird," she replied.
Elisa rubbed her eyes and studied the case folder again. "I still can't figure out how someone could lose so much blood with so few injuries."
"Vampires." The three of them turned around to see a young woman at the door. She looked like she was in her twenties, but then again had the appearance of growing up too soon. "You've got a vampire on your hands, so I'm here to take care of it."
"Vampires?" asked Monk. "You can't be serious."
The woman laughed. "If you had asked me seven years ago if vampires existed, I would've laughed too. My name's Buffy Summers, vampire slayer." She held out her hand to Monk, who hesitated to shake it. "Okay then," she shrugged, dropping her hand.
"He doesn't like germs," Sharona explained. "This is Adrian Monk, and I'm his assistant Sharona Fleming."
"Elisa Maza, and my friend Goliath is kind of unavailable at the moment."
Buffy nodded and smiled at the statue. "I didn't know there was a gargoyle clan out here."
"There isn't. We're from Manhattan, and we were traveling – before we were needed down here."
"Okay... so, where was the body buried?"
"It's still in the morgue," replied Sharona.
"Great," sighed Buffy sarcastically. "We need to get over there now. But it might be too late."
"I'm not going," exclaimed Monk.
Sharona stared at her boss. "Look Adrian, do you want to switch places with me? Do you want me to be the detective and you can be my assistant?"
"No..." came a small reply.
"Fine. You're coming with us."
Buffy giggled. "I'm sorry Mr. Monk, but you seem kind of..."
"Pathetic?" Sharona finished. "Yeah, he is."
The four "detectives" packed into Monk's car and headed down to the morgue.
"Vampire slayer, huh?" asked Elisa while they were riding in the car. "And I thought gargoyles were weird at one point."
Buffy sighed. "Yeah, well I've seen a lot weirder things than vampires."
Monk turned around from the front passenger seat to look at the two women. "Have you ever seen a chimpanzee? Now those things are frightening. Especially when they run around your apartment, breaking, chewing, peeing..." He sadly thought back to the time he had an unwanted house guest.
"Okay..." the two women said, looking at each other with confusion.
"It's a long story," Sharona informed. "Well, the good news is that we're here."
"And how is that good news?" Monk wondered.
After being permitted to view the body, the four were led to where the victim's body was kept. Buffy opened the door and pulled the tray out, revealing a corpse.
"Thank God," she sighed.
The other three looked at her oddly.
"I feared that he had been turned into a vampire. Luckily, he's still dead."
Monk started to walk the other direction but Elisa grabbed him. "You're not going anywhere, Mr. Monk. You're a good detective, and you're needed on this case."
He nodded reluctantly and turned around to study the corpse again. "That's strange," he stated.
"What?" the other three said in unison.
He cleared his throat and continued, pointing to the victim's neck. "Didn't he have a bite mark?"
"The photos in the case file did," Elisa said. She peered over Monk's shoulder and scanned the right side of the corpse. "It's not there anymore..."
Buffy studied his neck closely, leaning in, when suddenly the victim's arm sprang up and grabbed her own neck. She rummaged around her purse for her weapon, to no avail. "Get my stake," she managed as the victim-turned-vampire continued strangling the Slayer.
"Steak?" Monk thought, confused as he waited in fear by the exit. Sharona, with her quick-thinking, took her own purse and hit the vampire hard on the head. The vampire growled in pain, giving Buffy enough time to get her stake and stab him through the chest. All that remained was a bunch of dust on the body tray.
"So much for a funeral viewing," Sharona said shaking her head.
Elisa looked at the remains of the vampire. "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust," she muttered.
The Slayer rubbed her neck, thankful that no one else got hurt. "Sorry about that... I didn't expect that he'd awaken so soon – especially in the day."
"I was hoping I could ask him some questions," Elisa said. "Like, if a vampire created him..."
"Sired him," Buffy corrected.
"Excuse me, if a vampire sired him, then how did he get such nasty claw marks on his back?"
Monk had finally walked back over to the others. "We originally thought a gargoyle was the suspect. Although she didn't kill him... I believe she's somehow involved with all of this."
TO BE CONTINUED...