AN: Go back to another chapter and read it. What kind of fool are you to be reading the chapters out of order? *smacks with rolled up pape*

Shout Outs:

Vinyl: *thwacks* You can have him when I'm done with him.

Web Writer Witch: *glomps* I miss yoooouuuu

Ann: We all go a little MAD sometimes…. Hehehehehe.

Stage: With all the hell we put them through, it's a surprise they still talk to us at all.

Blinks-Tiger: ::Ducks::

FictionHobbit: "For the Love of Mike" is why I do all things. XD

Sorry if I've forgotten anybody, but it is very late (or early) and I am tired. On with the show!!

Once again, this is for Stage for all her great help! The first sentence is hers.

Title: Let Me Be Your Friend

Author: Neffie

Chapter 3

The almost complete silence was broken in places by the continuing sobs from the hunched over brunette. It seemed to drag on for painful hours for the other hiding in the shadows...but in reality? Only a few minutes.

Ivan couldn't believe what he had just seen, what had been hidden underneath Mark's clothes all this time. It was like watching a ghost of someone you once knew and loved dearly. A ghost that was wandering, searching for some purpose for why it was there. But Mark was very much alive, at least for the time being. There was no telling what would happen if he didn't get help soon.

His stomach was sunken, his chest emaciated. His face was long and thin, with dark circles under his brown eyes. Eyes that once shown with laughter, now dull and empty. His hands trembled without stopping.

It's funny what you don't see when you're not looking, Ivan thought to himself bitterly.

Finally bringing his own tears under control, Ivan made his way across the room towards his fallen friend, whose sobs had now quieted down to just sniffles. He gingerly placed his hand on the bare shoulder.

Mark twitched away at the touch and spun around violently to see who the intruder was. He began to rub furiously at his eyes, to try and wipe away the tear tracks that were all too clear. "How long have you been standing there?" he said accusingly.

"Long enough." Ivan's words were soft and his own blue eyes were red. "Oh Mark, why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" his eyes widened in realization. "You son of a bitch! You read my journal, didn't you?"

Ivan flinched at the harsh words and the venom in his best friend's voice. "Mark, listen. I was worried…"

"You had NO RIGHT to do that!" Mark roared, as he tried to pull himself to his feet only to crash back down onto his knees painfully as another wave of dizziness sweeped over him. Sensing defeat, he sat with his back pressed to the mirror. Wrapping his arms tightly around his legs, pulling them close to his chest, he put his head down on them. "You had no right…" his voice cracked with anguish. "You had no right..." What little strength his body still had was quickly draining, his voice was barely a whisper.

Sitting down on the floor beside him, Ivan put his arm around the thin shaking shoulders. He tried to soothe his distraught friend with little success. "It's okay. Everything is going to be alright," he whispered softly into Mark's ear.

Lifting his head, the brunette pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes. "No," he said in the weakest voice that Ivan had ever heard him use. "It's not okay. Everything is so messed up right now. It's never going to be okay." His hands fell limply at his sides and he let his head fall back against the mirror with a soft thump.

"Maybe not now, but things will be okay soon. You don't have to be alone anymore. I'm gonna help you get through this, you hear me?" Ivan put his hand on Mark's chin and turned his head to where he could look him straight in the face. Blue and Brown, both smudged with red. For a moment no words were spoken.

"What on earth could make you want to do something like this to yourself?" Ivan let his fingers run through Mark's brown hair. Mark flinched a little, surprised and unacustomed to such a caring gesture. Though he craved physical contact, he had so rarely received it that it felt almost alien to him. Part of him wanted to run away from the intimacy, while another part begged to indulge it further. He gave in to the latter impulse.

Closing his eyes with a heavy sigh, Mark leaned his head to rest on Ivan's shoulder. "Do you ever just feel nothing you do is ever good enough? Like you are completely worthless? That no matter how hard you try, you are still the most disgusting thing in the world?" Tears leaked out from under his tightly closed eyelids. He had to stop himself from pulling away when soft fingertips touched his face and wiped the moisture away. The touch lingered on his cheekbone.

"You listen to me, Mark Allen David. You are the most beautiful creature that I have ever seen." Brown eyes flew open at that remark, but before he could protest or question the words, Ivan's lips brushed gently against the corner of his mouth.

He froze. This is not happening. Is it? His mind raced to find an explanation. Did Ivan Dudynsky just kiss him? I must be losing it.

Receiving no form of protest from Mark, Ivan leaned forward once again. He pressed his mouth gently, yet strongly against Mark's. A small groan sounded deep inside the brunette's throat as he timidly returned the kiss. For a moment, nothing mattered

Faggot! Mark yanked away as the cruel voice invaded his mind. Memories of lonliness, fear, and pain erupted inside his head. He grabbed the sides of his head and clenched his jaw tightly while uttering a soft litany of "No, no no," under his breath.

Ivan had jerked away too at Mark's sudden movement. His eyes widened in confusion as he watched the change in his companion. "Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if…" Realizing that Mark did not seem to hear his voice, he placed his hands firmly on his shoulders.

Instinctively, Mark's arms flew up in front of his face to protect himself against the blows that he was certain were coming. His slight shivering had turned into a violent shaking. "No! Please!" he shouted at his invisible assailants.

"Mark!" Ivan grabbed ahold of the frightened brunette's wrist and tried to pull them away from his face. "Mark, it's okay. No one is going to hurt you, do you hear me? Calm down and look at me, please. Come on Mark." Ivan continued the reassurances until finally he felt the muscles relax in his grip. He gently shifted his hands so that their fingers intertwined.

"You want to tell me what that was all about?" Ivan asked with a smile once Mark uncovered his face to look at him.

"I've always felt… different. In high school, there were these guys that would… shove me into lockers, and slap me around a bit, those kind of things. They called me names… Horrible names." Ivan listened patiently as he finally started to talk about the past that he had always kept quiet about. "I would come home, c-c-covered in bruises. My parents… they never said anything about them. They never wanted anything to do with me. I kept myself locked in my room most of the time." Mark leaned his forehead against their joined hands. "I guess, deep down, I always thought I deserved it. There was this friend that my mother had. The religious type. She talked about how gays were all going to burn in hell. That God had sent diseases to earth to punish them. That's when I started starving myself.

"At first, I just avoided meals because I didn't want to interact with anyone. I would hide in the school library during lunch, and I went straight to my room when I went home. Sometimes I wouldn't go home at all. I would just wander around for awhile. That's what I was doing the night they found me." His muscles tensed once again. Ivan kissed his knuckles, and then his forehead, softly offering the encouragement to continue.

"It was the same guys from school," Mark had to concentrate hard on keeping his voice from breaking. The images from that night were still as fresh in his mind as they ever were. He squeezed Ivan's hands tighter in attempt to keep himself grounded in the here and now, instead of slipping back into the nightmarish visions replaying themselves in his head.

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AN: HA HA! I am an evil spite, aren't I? Mwahahahaha. Guess you'll just have to wait won't you? Hehehehehehehe.