Author's Note: Le Gasp! I have at last returned to the world of after faaar too long. It seems a lot of people wanted more of this story. So I decided I would try my best. I know I've kinda wussed out at the beginning of this chapter, but Mark!muse just wouldn't tell me about it! So here we go. Hope this satisfies you all for now.
Title: Let Me Be Your Friend
Author: Neffie
Chapter 6
They both sat in silence, Ivan waiting patiently for Mark to tell him what had caused him to react so violently. But nothing else came. Mark shook his head sadly. 'I... I can't. I can't even say..." he made an odd sound, like he was choking on the words. Ivan simply nodded, he was frustrated, but he understood. There were some things in a persons life that were just impossible to speak about. Things that were so hard to pull out of you mind that they literally felt as if they were ripping you apart if you tried. Instead, he hooked his arm under Mark's shoulders and helped him to his feet.
Mark was too tired to struggle. He didn't speak as they rode upstairs in the elevator, or when Ivan unlocked the apartment door, and led Mark to his bedroom, pulling down the sheets and blankets for him.
Wincing inwardly at the stiff way in which Mark moved, how every motion seemed to hurt his body, the body that had been overworked and underfed for so long. Quietly, he pulled the blankets up to his chin. Letting his fingers once more brush through the brown hair. He turned to leave.
He stood in the doorway, waiting for something. He didn't know what that something was, but there had to have been a reason why his feet didn't want to move. His eyes roamed out the window at the end of the short hallway, his mind trying to come up with some explanation to give when Mark asked him what he was doing.
Then, it came.
"Ivan?"
He cleared his throat, praying silently that his voice would not crack when he opened his mouth. He turned around, with every ounce of will being used not to start crying again. The boy he found himself looking at was suddenly far too young, and far too broken to be the person he used to know. Something was waiting to be asked just behind those lips, those lips that were trembling. Just when Ivan knew his chest was gong to explode from anticipation, Mark spoke.
"I'm cold."
And that was all that it took.
Ivan nodded, tears starting to run down his cheeks. He sat down on the other side of the bed, his back to Mark, taking his shoes off. He knew that if he spent too long looking at him, that he would break in two. That he would confess to things that should stay silent, at least for tonight. He knew that he couldn't bear looking at Mark, huddled in his blanket, skin pale and blue in the light from the window, huddled in his blanket, on a summer night in L.A. Ivan had never seen him like this. Stripped bare, emotions raw, vulnerable to the slightest hint of rejection.
Yes, everything about this night was so incredibly wrong. Ivan found his fingers were pinching the skin on his ankle, to see if maybe he had dreamt it all. That he would wake up and find that everything was okay again.
Instead, he was left with nothing but a red blotch that was already fading.
So, he found himself climbing under the covers, spooning up against Mark's back, trying not to notice the way his spine jutted out in places. His arm reached out and wrapped itself around the thin waist, pulling them closer, stilling Mark's shivering. The chill creeping through his bones.
Because that was all there was left of him. Or at least thats the way it felt.
"I'm sorry." Mark's voice was thick and muffled with a sadness and shame that he was trying to hide in his pillow.
"So am I." was all Ivan could think to say.
Author's note: To be continued? If you guys want more. And if you want more, tell me what you want.