Title: What to do when at the SGC Christmas Party
Rating: PG
Summary: Some easy steps on how to survive the dreaded annual event.
Spoilers: None!
Author Notes: 6th in the 'What to do when' series. Sam/Jack, Daniel/Janet
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
~What to do when at the SGC Christmas Party ~
By Ruth
Copyright (c) 2003, Ruth
**********
As Jack made his way through the crowds of already drunken airmen, he felt his heart began to sink, and he almost made a grab for Danny's hand to keep him from running off and falling into the punch.
"Jack," Daniel grumbled, "You don't have to hold my hand!"
Jack looked down in surprise to see that he had indeed acted on his impulse, and hurriedly released the archaeologist's hand.
"I guess it's time for 'how to survive the Christmas party?'" Daniel commented, reaching for the punch.
Jack dragged him away.
"It sure is, Danny, and do you remember what the first rule is?"
Daniel grumbled and looked at the floor.
"Under no circumstances consume any liquid pertaining to be punch."
"Exactly," Jack replied, and pulled him away. Just as he was doing this, a waiter approached him with a tray of canapés.
"Ooh!" Jack said delightedly, "Canapés!"
Daniel slapped his hand and grinned up at Jack.
"That's double standards, dontcha think? Rule number 2 - under no circumstances consume any food pertaining to be a canapé."
"Damn," Jack cursed, "You're right, Danny."
"And do you know why?" Daniel persisted, "Because I tell you, Jack, there's..."
"Gah!" Jack grumbled, putting his hands over his ears, "If you're gonna tell me that I can get tapeworms, I don't wanna know!"
A nearby airman turned green and spat out the mouthful of canapé that he had just eaten, right into the face of the waiter.
They made their way over to what would usually be the control room, but had been converted into a food and drink outlet for the night. There was tinsel adorning the computers and glitter was stuck onto some of them - Carter would have had a fit if she'd seen it. Come to think of it, Jack wondered, where in the hell was she?
"Uh...Jack..." Daniel muttered, pulling on his sleeve, "I think we have a contradiction to rule 3 heading straight for us..."
Jack turned around in time to see General Hammond's secretary - God knows why he had one, perhaps it was just for the purpose of this fic - heading towards them, dressed in slinky clothes.
"Rule 3," Daniel whispered, "Stay away from the office secretary..."
"Hello boys," she smiled, fluttering her eyelashes, "Can I interest you in a -"
She bent down and whispered something in Jack's ear, that Daniel also heard.
"No, thanks!" Daniel choked, and tried very hard not to run in the opposite direction, dragging Jack with him.
"That...was...close," Jack said, "Let's get out of here. Level 18? That should be deserted," he mumbled, pulling his card key from his pocket and swiping it
through the machine to open the elevator.
**********
When they reached level 18, they found that it was completely deserted, apart from some noise that they could hear from the photocopying room.
Warily, Jack and Daniel approached the room. Daniel listened at the door, and managed to ascertain that there was only one person inside. Jack put his hand on the doorknob and twisted it, letting himself and Daniel into the room.
Once there, they found that the sole occupant was Colonel Makepeace, who was photocopying his arse.
"You're breaking the fourth rule of Christmas parties," Daniel scolded.
"Look," Makepeace snapped, "You let ME worry about having to be extracted from it with a crane, wearing no pants, would you?"
"Don't say that we didn't warn you when you're having your arse dragged out of the photocopier by a crane tomorrow," Jack said, in his 'don't say I didn't tell you so' voice.
They exited the photocopying room. As they made their way down the corridor, they found themselves approaching the stationary cupboard, and there were very curious sounds coming from inside.
"Rule 5 - avoid all stationary cupboards," Jack said, "And now we come to the most important rule of them all."
"Rule 6," Daniel said, "Isn't that the one about never sleeping with co-workers?"
"Y..." Jack began, but just then the elevator doors opened and two figures stepped out.
Jack and Daniel turned around to see Sam and Janet walking towards them.
Sam was wearing a long blue dress that matched the colour of her eyes and was perfectly trimmed to her slim figure. Janet was wearing a dress of similar make, but it was a deep red colour.
Jack's jaw hit the floor, and Daniel's followed soon after. Janet turned to Sam with a grin on her face.
"And you know what rule 7 is, don't you?" She smiled.
"Pay absolutely no attention to rule 6," Sam finished.
THE END
**********
Author's Note: Want more? Feed me! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Rating: PG
Summary: Some easy steps on how to survive the dreaded annual event.
Spoilers: None!
Author Notes: 6th in the 'What to do when' series. Sam/Jack, Daniel/Janet
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
~What to do when at the SGC Christmas Party ~
By Ruth
Copyright (c) 2003, Ruth
**********
As Jack made his way through the crowds of already drunken airmen, he felt his heart began to sink, and he almost made a grab for Danny's hand to keep him from running off and falling into the punch.
"Jack," Daniel grumbled, "You don't have to hold my hand!"
Jack looked down in surprise to see that he had indeed acted on his impulse, and hurriedly released the archaeologist's hand.
"I guess it's time for 'how to survive the Christmas party?'" Daniel commented, reaching for the punch.
Jack dragged him away.
"It sure is, Danny, and do you remember what the first rule is?"
Daniel grumbled and looked at the floor.
"Under no circumstances consume any liquid pertaining to be punch."
"Exactly," Jack replied, and pulled him away. Just as he was doing this, a waiter approached him with a tray of canapés.
"Ooh!" Jack said delightedly, "Canapés!"
Daniel slapped his hand and grinned up at Jack.
"That's double standards, dontcha think? Rule number 2 - under no circumstances consume any food pertaining to be a canapé."
"Damn," Jack cursed, "You're right, Danny."
"And do you know why?" Daniel persisted, "Because I tell you, Jack, there's..."
"Gah!" Jack grumbled, putting his hands over his ears, "If you're gonna tell me that I can get tapeworms, I don't wanna know!"
A nearby airman turned green and spat out the mouthful of canapé that he had just eaten, right into the face of the waiter.
They made their way over to what would usually be the control room, but had been converted into a food and drink outlet for the night. There was tinsel adorning the computers and glitter was stuck onto some of them - Carter would have had a fit if she'd seen it. Come to think of it, Jack wondered, where in the hell was she?
"Uh...Jack..." Daniel muttered, pulling on his sleeve, "I think we have a contradiction to rule 3 heading straight for us..."
Jack turned around in time to see General Hammond's secretary - God knows why he had one, perhaps it was just for the purpose of this fic - heading towards them, dressed in slinky clothes.
"Rule 3," Daniel whispered, "Stay away from the office secretary..."
"Hello boys," she smiled, fluttering her eyelashes, "Can I interest you in a -"
She bent down and whispered something in Jack's ear, that Daniel also heard.
"No, thanks!" Daniel choked, and tried very hard not to run in the opposite direction, dragging Jack with him.
"That...was...close," Jack said, "Let's get out of here. Level 18? That should be deserted," he mumbled, pulling his card key from his pocket and swiping it
through the machine to open the elevator.
**********
When they reached level 18, they found that it was completely deserted, apart from some noise that they could hear from the photocopying room.
Warily, Jack and Daniel approached the room. Daniel listened at the door, and managed to ascertain that there was only one person inside. Jack put his hand on the doorknob and twisted it, letting himself and Daniel into the room.
Once there, they found that the sole occupant was Colonel Makepeace, who was photocopying his arse.
"You're breaking the fourth rule of Christmas parties," Daniel scolded.
"Look," Makepeace snapped, "You let ME worry about having to be extracted from it with a crane, wearing no pants, would you?"
"Don't say that we didn't warn you when you're having your arse dragged out of the photocopier by a crane tomorrow," Jack said, in his 'don't say I didn't tell you so' voice.
They exited the photocopying room. As they made their way down the corridor, they found themselves approaching the stationary cupboard, and there were very curious sounds coming from inside.
"Rule 5 - avoid all stationary cupboards," Jack said, "And now we come to the most important rule of them all."
"Rule 6," Daniel said, "Isn't that the one about never sleeping with co-workers?"
"Y..." Jack began, but just then the elevator doors opened and two figures stepped out.
Jack and Daniel turned around to see Sam and Janet walking towards them.
Sam was wearing a long blue dress that matched the colour of her eyes and was perfectly trimmed to her slim figure. Janet was wearing a dress of similar make, but it was a deep red colour.
Jack's jaw hit the floor, and Daniel's followed soon after. Janet turned to Sam with a grin on her face.
"And you know what rule 7 is, don't you?" She smiled.
"Pay absolutely no attention to rule 6," Sam finished.
THE END
**********
Author's Note: Want more? Feed me! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!