A Perfect World
Summary: Sakura Kinomoto is 16. But there's one secret to her- at 15 she was told she had leukemia. To top it all off, her strong will to have a 'perfect' world creates a motal enemy- perfection itself. Can she realize in time, with Syaoran's help, that without pain nothing would be worth living for?
~*~*~ = flashbacks*** (cause you can't see the italics)
Chapter 2: Revlations: An Almost Perfect World Turned Upside Down
~*~*~*~*~* (Flashback Start)
"Mr. Kinomoto? Sakura? Hi. I'm Dr. Higgiens, a specialist in diseases of the blood."
"Diseases of the blood? My daughter came to this clinic for blood work. Her physican suspected low white cell count... lack of iron or something. She can't isn't sick." Sakura's father grasped his 15 year olds hand tightly.
"Please, calm down Mr. Kinomoto. Sakura came to your family doctor with a fever and tiredness?"
"She's very active. Probably just pushed herself too far. Nationals are coming up soon. Her gymnastic competition."
"I see. Lots of bruises lately, Sakura?" Dr. Higgins narrowed his eyes on the scared 15 year old.
How did he know? Sure, being in gymnastics you were victim to the occasional fall and injury- in a serve case a sprained limb or even a broken bone- but she had been getting a few more bruises lately. And she didn't even remember falling that often...
"I have bruises, sure." Sakura felt his eyes stare at her legs where multiple purple spots covered her shins. Why did she wear her school uniform? "So what?"
Dr. Higgins smiled gently. "Well, the lab work has come in; were afraid it's not as easy to cure as lack of iron. Do you know what leukemia is, Sakura?"
Sakura's eyes widened. That couldn't be what she thought it was.... no. It just couldn't. "I... don't think so."
"My daughter does not have cancer!" Mr. Kinomoto barked. Sakura gasped. Both eyes turned toward the young girl who was now crying.
"Cancer? I have.... cancer?" Sakura whispered.
"Please, Sakura, it's going to be okay." Mr. Kinomoto said in an attempt to calm her down. "We want a second option, Dr. Higgins."
"I don't... want to die! Will my hair fall out? Will I be hospitalized for a long time? Daddy, Syaoran just came back from Hong Kong four months ago... I'm in Nationals next month! I can't be... sick! How will kids treat me when they find out?"
"Sakrua... please. Dr. Higgins? What are you trying to say here?"
"That Sakura will have to start treatment this afternoon, after arrangements are made with her school. No one will know unless you tell them, Sakura. Not even the teachers. We can provide that much. As for your questions on how long we'll need to fight this thing for...."
*~*~*~*~*~ *(Flashback End)
"Miss Kinomoto?"
Sakura jumped as a voice brought her back to the present. Blowing out all her air, she closed her eyes. "Relax, Sakura. Relax. It'll be fine," she told herself. Turning her head towards her Father, she felt a gentle squeeze from a hand beside her. "Thanks Dad. I'm sure this check up will be as good as the others."
"Is that why you wanted an extra one? You just had one a week ago... your not due back here for another 5 weeks. I can understand if your nervous from last time-"
"Dad... they just mixed up results last time. No big deal."
"Are you sure your not here because your still worried they were yours?"
"No, Dad! Honestly, I just... I know I won't be able to sleep until I have the doctor say I'm okay again."
"Miss Kinomoto?"
Sakura stood up and waved at the nurse. "Coming. Wait for me here?"
"Check ups take three hours!"
"But, I drove us here."
"I can get Touya to pick me up. Besides, you don't need me here to have a doctor say your okay again. Alright? See you at home tonight?"
"Yeah... sure. Bye."
*~*~*~*~*~ (Flashback Start)
"Hey Dad. You were here yesterday... why are you here again? I thought you were only going to visit every second day. It's too hard on you to be here everyday!"
Mr. Kinomoto laughed. "So your saying that I can't visit?"
"Dad, It's been 3 weeks. I'm obviously not going anywhere. Who knows how much longer I'll be stuck here for? A month? Two months? You might as well concentrate on work instead."
"Sakura... you know negativity isn't going to get you anywhere."
Sakura turned her gaze toward the window. "Including Nationals."
"They're next week!"
"Look, just scratch me from the competition. I'm not going."
"Maybe not this year, but they'll be other years."
Sakura looked down, her usual cheerful green eyes cold. "If I ever get well enough to work on a routine. That took me the whole year, Dad. I read about this leukemia. Once you go into "remission" you have to stay cancer free for five years before your cured. Even then... people get sick again. Relapses happen... how do I say this nicely? Often. Really often. Usually... not even six months after remission. So, tell me Dad. Will there be other years for me?"
~*~*~*~*~ (Flashback END)
"Hello Miss Kinomoto. Wait here. So your last checkup was.... a week ago? Wait, this must be wrong."
"No, no. It's right."
"Oh. Were you asked to come back? It states here you're in remission."
"I am. I just wanted a blood test done.... again."
"Miss, the doctor is busy. Could you maybe talk to-"
"What blood type was recorded on my last check up?"
"Why, O. And it had no signs of-"
Sakura lowered her voice to a whisper. "I'm AB."
*****
Dad, it's me. Sakura. I'm going to be home late. Bye. Sakura hung up the phone. Her emotionless voice threated to break. She wouldn't let it. Not this time. Was there a positive side? That kid, whoever had type O blood, and his family was going to get good news tonight. The kid was still cancer free. And whoever that lab worker was who mixed up files... Just because the other name was Kinomota.... could he not have seen she was clearly an AB? And 17....not 4? The first time he had it right... how did he decide he was wrong again? Oh yeah. His A's looked like O's. Kinomoto. Kinomota. Thought he had a mix up.... but really he didn't.
"Too good to be true."
*****
Sakura walked thorough the school hallways. Empty. No students were there. Not that she'd miss them where she was going. Come Monday morning, she'd have to tell everyone. Not like last time.... she didn't tell anyone. Everyone thought she went on a vacation. Not even the teachers knew. Just the principal. She had agreed to let Sakura study and keep up her courses in Tokyo Hospital for two and half months.
She walked into history late. "Take your seat Miss Kinomoto. Coming in half an hour late... you must have really slept in. You'll report for detention-"
Sakura wordlessly handed a note to her teacher to sign. The teacher looked up in surprise. An excused leave for an unknown length of time. Didn't Sakura Kinomoto just go on a 10 week vacation at the beginning of the year? "I expect you'll take your books today?"
"Yes."
"Alright. Here you go. Signed."
"Thank you." Sakura bit her lip. She could feel the class stare. Out of the corner of her eye Tomoyo, Syaoran, Eriol and the rest of her friends were all looking at her with questionable faces. She headed for the door, tears threating to fall out. She ran into her car, resting her head on the the steering wheel. I don't want too back to the hospital. Not now. Not ever. "But I never get what I want. I wish I had a perfect life.... it's not fair." The second relapse makes your odds of dying greater, hospitalization longer.
*****
Sakura waited patiently for Syaoran. She sat at their favorite table in Mango Tango- isolated from everyone else. She tapped her foot to the rhythm of the music playing.
"Sakura?" Sakura looked up in surprise. This had been happening a lot lately. She smiled at her inside joke- first the nurse, now Syaoran. Gotta stop daydreaming. Thank God I know my name so well.. or no one would be able to wake me up.
"Hey. How are you?" Sakura put on a fake, cheery smile.
Syaoran smiled back; she had looked really worried when he first walked in. "Good, good.... you weren't in school today. How come? I mean I saw you in history... Dad taking you on another holiday?"
Sakura smiled. "Not really. Syaoran," Sakura took his hand in hers, tears on the edge of her eyes. "I'm not going to come back to school for a long time." She finished lamely.
Syaoran looked at her in confusion. "You already.... missed 10 weeks...." Sakura now had tears running down her cheeks.
"Syaoran.... I want you to know that if you want to break up.... it's okay...."
Syaoran's eyes widened. "Sakura? What are you talking about? Of course I don't! I-"
"Please, Syaoran. I'm not sure if I'm coming back at all this year..."
"Sakura-"
"Syaoran, listen to me! Formal is coming up, and... you deserve to... have a date." Sakura paused to try and collect herself. "Syaoran... if you love me like you say you do.... please, can you do these few little things for me? Promise?"
Syaoran nodded mutely. "Of course, Sakura.... promise. What things?"
"Don't tell Meiling, Eriol, Tomoyo... or anyone else that I might not come back? I'm sure they'll figure it out eventually. I want them to think I'm on vacation with my Dad for as long as possible... alright?"
"I can't lie to them Sakura...."
"Your not lying if it can hurt them, Syaoran."
Syaoran slowly nodded, even though it almost killed him "What... else?"
"I want to... break up."
Syaoran shook his head. "After all that's happened? After I came from Hong Kong-"
"You should go back. After I leave the day after tomorrow, they'll be nothing keep you here. Please. You promised me, Syaoran.... you promised."
"I can't just forget you like that.... I can't just leave."
Sakura shook her head. "And I don't want you to forget me. That's last of all and most important. I never want you to forget me." Sakura glanced at her watch. She had to get home. "I... have to go now. Tomorrow... were going to the mall with the others... none of this ever happened. Alright?" Sakura got up and walked over to her car. Before she got in, a strong hand grabbed her arm.
"So that's it? You expect me to just be okay with all of this?," a cold voice spoke into her ear. "Your just going to walk away out of all of our lives again? Well, I just have one question for you, Sakura. Why? Why disappear again?"
Sakura turned herself around, now facing hurt amber eyes. "I can't tell you, because I love you."
"Sakrua.... please, just tell me."
"Will you go away?," Sakura's voice was quiet.
Syaoran's amber eyes filled up with tears. For one of the first time in his life he was feeling emotion. Not like the happiness of finally reuniting with Sakura, or the pain of being away for so long in Hong Kong before.... it was fear. Fear that she wouldn't come back. She said going away for a long time... she didn't say anything about coming back. "Your worried that you'll never come back. You don't want anyone you love hurt. But... it hurts me to know that you don't trust me enough to know. To handle this. Bye Sakura. See you tomorrow."
Sakura got into her car, resting her head on the steering wheel. Tears of pain fell from her eyes. The day after tomorrow she'd be in the hospital, receiving treatment. Sh had asked for two days to tie up loose ends.... Last week she thought about how perfect her life was. Practically nothing was wrong. "I'm defiantly reconsidering that thought...."
Summary: Sakura Kinomoto is 16. But there's one secret to her- at 15 she was told she had leukemia. To top it all off, her strong will to have a 'perfect' world creates a motal enemy- perfection itself. Can she realize in time, with Syaoran's help, that without pain nothing would be worth living for?
~*~*~ = flashbacks*** (cause you can't see the italics)
Chapter 2: Revlations: An Almost Perfect World Turned Upside Down
~*~*~*~*~* (Flashback Start)
"Mr. Kinomoto? Sakura? Hi. I'm Dr. Higgiens, a specialist in diseases of the blood."
"Diseases of the blood? My daughter came to this clinic for blood work. Her physican suspected low white cell count... lack of iron or something. She can't isn't sick." Sakura's father grasped his 15 year olds hand tightly.
"Please, calm down Mr. Kinomoto. Sakura came to your family doctor with a fever and tiredness?"
"She's very active. Probably just pushed herself too far. Nationals are coming up soon. Her gymnastic competition."
"I see. Lots of bruises lately, Sakura?" Dr. Higgins narrowed his eyes on the scared 15 year old.
How did he know? Sure, being in gymnastics you were victim to the occasional fall and injury- in a serve case a sprained limb or even a broken bone- but she had been getting a few more bruises lately. And she didn't even remember falling that often...
"I have bruises, sure." Sakura felt his eyes stare at her legs where multiple purple spots covered her shins. Why did she wear her school uniform? "So what?"
Dr. Higgins smiled gently. "Well, the lab work has come in; were afraid it's not as easy to cure as lack of iron. Do you know what leukemia is, Sakura?"
Sakura's eyes widened. That couldn't be what she thought it was.... no. It just couldn't. "I... don't think so."
"My daughter does not have cancer!" Mr. Kinomoto barked. Sakura gasped. Both eyes turned toward the young girl who was now crying.
"Cancer? I have.... cancer?" Sakura whispered.
"Please, Sakura, it's going to be okay." Mr. Kinomoto said in an attempt to calm her down. "We want a second option, Dr. Higgins."
"I don't... want to die! Will my hair fall out? Will I be hospitalized for a long time? Daddy, Syaoran just came back from Hong Kong four months ago... I'm in Nationals next month! I can't be... sick! How will kids treat me when they find out?"
"Sakrua... please. Dr. Higgins? What are you trying to say here?"
"That Sakura will have to start treatment this afternoon, after arrangements are made with her school. No one will know unless you tell them, Sakura. Not even the teachers. We can provide that much. As for your questions on how long we'll need to fight this thing for...."
*~*~*~*~*~ *(Flashback End)
"Miss Kinomoto?"
Sakura jumped as a voice brought her back to the present. Blowing out all her air, she closed her eyes. "Relax, Sakura. Relax. It'll be fine," she told herself. Turning her head towards her Father, she felt a gentle squeeze from a hand beside her. "Thanks Dad. I'm sure this check up will be as good as the others."
"Is that why you wanted an extra one? You just had one a week ago... your not due back here for another 5 weeks. I can understand if your nervous from last time-"
"Dad... they just mixed up results last time. No big deal."
"Are you sure your not here because your still worried they were yours?"
"No, Dad! Honestly, I just... I know I won't be able to sleep until I have the doctor say I'm okay again."
"Miss Kinomoto?"
Sakura stood up and waved at the nurse. "Coming. Wait for me here?"
"Check ups take three hours!"
"But, I drove us here."
"I can get Touya to pick me up. Besides, you don't need me here to have a doctor say your okay again. Alright? See you at home tonight?"
"Yeah... sure. Bye."
*~*~*~*~*~ (Flashback Start)
"Hey Dad. You were here yesterday... why are you here again? I thought you were only going to visit every second day. It's too hard on you to be here everyday!"
Mr. Kinomoto laughed. "So your saying that I can't visit?"
"Dad, It's been 3 weeks. I'm obviously not going anywhere. Who knows how much longer I'll be stuck here for? A month? Two months? You might as well concentrate on work instead."
"Sakura... you know negativity isn't going to get you anywhere."
Sakura turned her gaze toward the window. "Including Nationals."
"They're next week!"
"Look, just scratch me from the competition. I'm not going."
"Maybe not this year, but they'll be other years."
Sakura looked down, her usual cheerful green eyes cold. "If I ever get well enough to work on a routine. That took me the whole year, Dad. I read about this leukemia. Once you go into "remission" you have to stay cancer free for five years before your cured. Even then... people get sick again. Relapses happen... how do I say this nicely? Often. Really often. Usually... not even six months after remission. So, tell me Dad. Will there be other years for me?"
~*~*~*~*~ (Flashback END)
"Hello Miss Kinomoto. Wait here. So your last checkup was.... a week ago? Wait, this must be wrong."
"No, no. It's right."
"Oh. Were you asked to come back? It states here you're in remission."
"I am. I just wanted a blood test done.... again."
"Miss, the doctor is busy. Could you maybe talk to-"
"What blood type was recorded on my last check up?"
"Why, O. And it had no signs of-"
Sakura lowered her voice to a whisper. "I'm AB."
*****
Dad, it's me. Sakura. I'm going to be home late. Bye. Sakura hung up the phone. Her emotionless voice threated to break. She wouldn't let it. Not this time. Was there a positive side? That kid, whoever had type O blood, and his family was going to get good news tonight. The kid was still cancer free. And whoever that lab worker was who mixed up files... Just because the other name was Kinomota.... could he not have seen she was clearly an AB? And 17....not 4? The first time he had it right... how did he decide he was wrong again? Oh yeah. His A's looked like O's. Kinomoto. Kinomota. Thought he had a mix up.... but really he didn't.
"Too good to be true."
*****
Sakura walked thorough the school hallways. Empty. No students were there. Not that she'd miss them where she was going. Come Monday morning, she'd have to tell everyone. Not like last time.... she didn't tell anyone. Everyone thought she went on a vacation. Not even the teachers knew. Just the principal. She had agreed to let Sakura study and keep up her courses in Tokyo Hospital for two and half months.
She walked into history late. "Take your seat Miss Kinomoto. Coming in half an hour late... you must have really slept in. You'll report for detention-"
Sakura wordlessly handed a note to her teacher to sign. The teacher looked up in surprise. An excused leave for an unknown length of time. Didn't Sakura Kinomoto just go on a 10 week vacation at the beginning of the year? "I expect you'll take your books today?"
"Yes."
"Alright. Here you go. Signed."
"Thank you." Sakura bit her lip. She could feel the class stare. Out of the corner of her eye Tomoyo, Syaoran, Eriol and the rest of her friends were all looking at her with questionable faces. She headed for the door, tears threating to fall out. She ran into her car, resting her head on the the steering wheel. I don't want too back to the hospital. Not now. Not ever. "But I never get what I want. I wish I had a perfect life.... it's not fair." The second relapse makes your odds of dying greater, hospitalization longer.
*****
Sakura waited patiently for Syaoran. She sat at their favorite table in Mango Tango- isolated from everyone else. She tapped her foot to the rhythm of the music playing.
"Sakura?" Sakura looked up in surprise. This had been happening a lot lately. She smiled at her inside joke- first the nurse, now Syaoran. Gotta stop daydreaming. Thank God I know my name so well.. or no one would be able to wake me up.
"Hey. How are you?" Sakura put on a fake, cheery smile.
Syaoran smiled back; she had looked really worried when he first walked in. "Good, good.... you weren't in school today. How come? I mean I saw you in history... Dad taking you on another holiday?"
Sakura smiled. "Not really. Syaoran," Sakura took his hand in hers, tears on the edge of her eyes. "I'm not going to come back to school for a long time." She finished lamely.
Syaoran looked at her in confusion. "You already.... missed 10 weeks...." Sakura now had tears running down her cheeks.
"Syaoran.... I want you to know that if you want to break up.... it's okay...."
Syaoran's eyes widened. "Sakura? What are you talking about? Of course I don't! I-"
"Please, Syaoran. I'm not sure if I'm coming back at all this year..."
"Sakura-"
"Syaoran, listen to me! Formal is coming up, and... you deserve to... have a date." Sakura paused to try and collect herself. "Syaoran... if you love me like you say you do.... please, can you do these few little things for me? Promise?"
Syaoran nodded mutely. "Of course, Sakura.... promise. What things?"
"Don't tell Meiling, Eriol, Tomoyo... or anyone else that I might not come back? I'm sure they'll figure it out eventually. I want them to think I'm on vacation with my Dad for as long as possible... alright?"
"I can't lie to them Sakura...."
"Your not lying if it can hurt them, Syaoran."
Syaoran slowly nodded, even though it almost killed him "What... else?"
"I want to... break up."
Syaoran shook his head. "After all that's happened? After I came from Hong Kong-"
"You should go back. After I leave the day after tomorrow, they'll be nothing keep you here. Please. You promised me, Syaoran.... you promised."
"I can't just forget you like that.... I can't just leave."
Sakura shook her head. "And I don't want you to forget me. That's last of all and most important. I never want you to forget me." Sakura glanced at her watch. She had to get home. "I... have to go now. Tomorrow... were going to the mall with the others... none of this ever happened. Alright?" Sakura got up and walked over to her car. Before she got in, a strong hand grabbed her arm.
"So that's it? You expect me to just be okay with all of this?," a cold voice spoke into her ear. "Your just going to walk away out of all of our lives again? Well, I just have one question for you, Sakura. Why? Why disappear again?"
Sakura turned herself around, now facing hurt amber eyes. "I can't tell you, because I love you."
"Sakrua.... please, just tell me."
"Will you go away?," Sakura's voice was quiet.
Syaoran's amber eyes filled up with tears. For one of the first time in his life he was feeling emotion. Not like the happiness of finally reuniting with Sakura, or the pain of being away for so long in Hong Kong before.... it was fear. Fear that she wouldn't come back. She said going away for a long time... she didn't say anything about coming back. "Your worried that you'll never come back. You don't want anyone you love hurt. But... it hurts me to know that you don't trust me enough to know. To handle this. Bye Sakura. See you tomorrow."
Sakura got into her car, resting her head on the steering wheel. Tears of pain fell from her eyes. The day after tomorrow she'd be in the hospital, receiving treatment. Sh had asked for two days to tie up loose ends.... Last week she thought about how perfect her life was. Practically nothing was wrong. "I'm defiantly reconsidering that thought...."