Paper Connection By Cold-Zephyr
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst/Drama
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Description: -slash- Shawn Michaels receives a heartfelt and painful letter in his locker as the Backlash PPV ends, and finds out a lot of things he should've known about before. R and R please...
A/N: Hey, guess what? It's not a one-shot anymore, thanks to your encouragement. =)
Reading some of the reviews I got, I notice that some people are shocked, appalled and/or disgusted by my choice of pairing. Okay, I may not know my Montreal Screwjob History 101 as well as some, but I am aware that they're not exactly friends. Hey, I don't like the pairing very much myself (I feel that they lack chemistry), but long story short, Shawn/Bret was the pairing that best fit what I was looking for.
I didn't mean to offend any Bret or Shawn fans out there, so if I ruffled anyone's feathers, I'm sorry. Now, when you read this, just be sure to keep in mind that although they may hate each other in reality, this is all F-I- C-T-I-O-N. Let's just call it an AU fic and get it over with. Okay? Okay!
P.S. To the other reviewers who were able to look past the rocky history these two have and just appreciate the story, and even take the time to say nice things about it, I thank you very, very much for the love!
Now let's get on with it, shall we?
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Chapter 2: Lingering Questions
The Raw taping was scheduled for tomorrow, and the wrestlers at the hotel were now catching some well-needed shut-eye, save for one. Shawn sat quietly at the dresser in his hotel room, staring at the blank piece of hotel stationery placed atop the desk. Biting the cap off the pen, he started writing, just letting the thoughts and emotions spill out of his heart and onto the paper.
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Bret,
I have two conflicting thoughts in my head right now. 1) I'm glad you wrote, because something was just bothering me about you all this time, 'till that point I still worried about you, and now I know the truth; and 2) I wish you didn't write at all, because now I sit here feeling like a long-healed wound has been reopened. Maybe you feel a little bit better now that you wrote, but I sure as hell felt god-awful after reading it.
The truths and confessions in your letter...are things I ought to have known, but didn't, and now that I know, wish that I didn't. Because, damn it, it was too late when I finally found out. They answered a lot of questions that have been lingering in the back of my head, yet left me even more confused afterwards.
One of the mysteries I have now finally figured out is why something always held me back from pursuing a loving relationship with someone...with anyone. Whenever I had a chance at it, it was always visions of you that entered my head. And then it would never work out, because for some strange reason, thoughts of you distracted me. It's only now that I realize how much you really mattered to me...maybe I even loved you. But now it's clear...you were the reason that I couldn't be with anybody. Because my heart only felt for one person, and that person was you. The one furthest from my reach.
There was just something about you...up to today, I still can't figure it out, but all I know is that I was attracted to you. A tiny little crush that I just pushed away...or tried to. The feeling was faint, but persistent nonetheless. And I was this close to getting rid of it for good, then suddenly I found that accursed letter taped in my locker. Damn it...couldn't you just approach me and tell it to my face? You were there anyway! Could've made it easier for the both of us. Or me, at least.
Once every often I thought about you, and what it'd be like if you were still here. Now I think about you every second, every minute, every day. These longings and desires that were long buried have now been brought out again, and they're worse than ever before. There's nothing I can do about it now, is there? Gee, thanks a lot for making my life just that more miserable, Bret.
Maybe if you'd told me sooner (MUCH sooner), something real good might've come out of it. We both could've had a shot at happiness, you know? And knowing that it just passed us by makes me feel even worse. Now we're both depressingly lonely. And I think I'm doomed to a life of solitude. I sure as hell know I won't be able to love somebody else, how about you?
Please don't leave me hanging here, Bret. I really need you to reply, 'cause I still have so many questions pounding my brain, the most important one being: Where do we go from here?
Hey, tomorrow's another Raw taping. When and if you get the chance to watch, I just want you to know that when you see me out there acting alright and peachy keen, I'm not. When you see me out there, know this: I'm thinking about you, and I'll be thinking about you the whole time. Smile for me when you see me on TV, alright? Who knows, maybe I'll start feeling better as well.
Shawn
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It had been over a week now since Backlash. Bret sat at the coffee table, sunshine pouring in through the windows, as he rummaged through the enormous pile of fan mail to pick one to read. He finally chose a letter, the person's name and address in particular catching his eye: Shawn Michaels.
His expression changed throughout reading the letter. At first he was sad, then a little sorry for both Shawn and himself, and as he finished reading, traces of a smile played upon his lips. And, yes, he would be smiling for Shawn later on as Raw aired.
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I seriously have no idea where this story is going, but I do know that I'm going to make this a "Griffin and Sabine" type of fic where you just read the actual letters that they send to each other. I hope this chapter won't garner as much negativity as the first one...seriously, I just wanted to write something, you know? And then I end up getting told off and shot down because of my choice of pairing? Jeez...well, I hope you liked this chapter. I'm really excited, nervous and curious as to what you all think, so please, please review! I'll try to come up with the next one soon. That is, if you still want me to. Love always, Cold-Zephyr