Disclaimer: Characters are not mine! I don't own anything but my fantasy…
Chapter 2: Bumpy road ahead
Well, not exactly the Plaza, but a place to stay. Jess looked around the little one-bedroom apartment. There wasn't much there. He didn't bother to get many pieces of furniture. It wasn't worth it. All he would do here was sleep and study.
As soon as he had gotten a better job, he would go out looking for a better place to stay. No more room sharing though.
This was good for now.
It was dry and there was a mattress to sleep on and a bathroom.
The kitchen wasn't too bad either. He would have to cook for himself in order not to spend too much money. He could save money by not eating out.
He was determined to save as much money as possible, but hey, he didn't require a lot more than food, water and a bit of electricity. The jobs he had gotten didn't really pay much, but what can you do without a high-school diploma?
Idiot, he scolded himself.
You flunked out of high-school.
Stupid.
It would have been so much easier then. For the first time in a year, Jess regretted not having graduated. It had never occurred to him before, that there were many closed doors without a diploma. Finding a job that was paid fairly was hard to be found. He had to settle for minimum wage.
At least he had gotten two jobs. He worked 12 hours a day and at least he should get by.
Geez, this was gonna be hard.
He'd lived like this before, but he never had additional plans for the future. He wouldn't just work, he had decided to get his GED.
He was smart.
He should be able to do it.
Yet, he would have to study after work.
He would have to attend a GED program the one day he had off. Jess resolved not to think of anything or do anything besides work, eat and study. That's what his life had to be like.
Nothing more, nothing less.
She would have done it like that.
Well maybe she was better on the studying part. He figured he had an advantage in working though.
Jess felt somewhat competitive at the moment. He had never felt like that before. Well, he had loved to compete with Dean for Rory, but apart from that he never had competed with anyone for anything.
Now was different.
Everyone out there was a potential threat. Anyone out there could be in his way. Anyone out there could prevent him to succeed. Every single person in New York could keep him from changing.
He had to change though. He had to do it.
For her.
For her he would live through this. The thought of her was enough. It got him through. He survived by it.
He survived stacking shelves at the grocery store by thinking of her.
He survived 8 hours checking-out costumers at the crappy music store around the corner just by having the image of her face in the back of his mind.
He survived 7 days of work and studying.
He survived 6 hours of sleep every night.
He survived loneliness, he survived cold, when the heater had broken down, he survived the depressing atmosphere of the dog-hut he was living her.
She was the reason.
Late at night when he collapsed onto his bed after a tiring day, the thought of her let him sleep calmly. When he got frustrated with studying, the thought of her kept him going. When he felt like he was getting sick and he couldn't get out of bed, the thought of her made him get up and go to work.
She was the only thing that gave his life a meaning.
The first 3 months were hard on him. New York was his home, but it wasn't exactly the cosiest place to live. Life was hard here.
He had to fight every single day.
He had to fight for his own strength.
He had to fight the urge to give up.
But she was there. She followed him wherever he went. He carried her with him. Sometimes he thought he was going mad. But he wasn't. He wasn't imagining things. She was a part of him. The person you love is always a part of you. She was there to constantly remind him why he was doing this. Although his days were crappy, although he was constantly tired, Jess was somewhat content. He was on his way. He had taken the right road.
It may have been a bumpy road so far, but it would smooth out sometime in the future.
He knew it.
He would succeed.
He would become all that he could.
He would be the person that she had always seen in him.
He wouldn't give up on himself.
He owed it to her.
He owed it to himself.
A.N.: As you see, I've decided to continue with this. Just got this out of me. What do you think. Please review. I need advice and help. Is this anything like Jess? Thanks to anyone who has read this.