Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. They belong to ASP, if you didn't know yet.

A.N.: For anyone who has read my one-parter "On a Day in December" this is a cross-over. So if you're interested in another pov just read it. Please review and tell me how it turned out. I originally wrote the two stories separately but then I got the idea stuck in my head to tie them in together. What do you think? Does it work out?

Chapter 4: On a Day in December

Jess walked down Fifth Avenue through the snow that had been falling over the day. You could really tell that it was December in Manhattan. The snow didn't bother him too much. Actually the cold felt kind of nice. The other thing, the whole Christmas set-up was freaking him out though. He never had been a great fan of Christmas. No wonder, his mom had always been to drunk to even think about celebrating this so-called "family-feast" with him, and thus throughout his childhood he had never really had Christmas. In fact, Christmas had always been a time of hurt for him. It reminded him how many families where out there. How many loving families. A depressing thought for someone who had felt unloved throughout his whole life.

Christmas officially sucked. Jess's opinion was confirmed when he stopped at the corner to Rockefeller Center to look at the decorations there. This was just awful. Lights and trees and Santas everywhere. This wasn't a Christmas dream, this was a nightmare. How could anyone actually think that this was pretty? How could anyone display such a bad taste. The tourist liked it though, he noticed. There were at least a dozen Japanese tourists taking millions of pictures of everything. Great, display the senseless practice of Christmas decorations to foreign tourist that didn't have Christmas. They probably thought Americans were nuts.

Jess, being the New Yorker he was, kind of had to smile at that.

Luke never put up too many decorations. He vividly remembered the various fights Luke had had with Taylor when it came to putting up any kind of seasonal decoration in the diner. Of course, for Christmas Luke had kind of given in. A few were allowed.

The two Christmases he had spend at Luke's were pretty much the only two that he had somewhat enjoyed. The first one was pretty unspectacular. It had never crossed Liz's mind that her son could come home for Christmas, so he simply stayed with Luke who had desperately tried to make up for Liz. He had tried to give hi a cheerful Christmas. However, since Luke wasn't exactly the cheerful type their Christmas had just ended up to be a dinner and an exchange of the few presents they had gotten each other. Then they went back to normal.

The second Christmas in Stars Hollow was different though. It was the one with Rory. They had been together and her and her mom had come over constantly. Rory had forced Jess to participate in various Christmas activities. He had to help decorate the tree in the Gilmore's house. They had gone ice-skating, he had helped her with the snow man and they even took another sleigh ride. It had been fun, mostly because she was around. It had also felt like a real Christmas. Like something special. Her wanting him there had made him feel special.

Jess remembered their exchange of gifts on the bridge. It wasn't like they had had very personal gifts because they hadn't been going out for so long, but he remembered Rory's smile when she had opened her gift, a novel, of course, though Jess couldn't remember which one, male memory sucked, but more importantly he had given her a trip to New York. He had written it on one of the pages of the novel. He had wanted to take her to New York with him again, since her first trip had ended up being such a disaster for her. After he had explained Rory had hugged him for which felt like a lifetime and when she had finally pulled out of his embrace she had this big smile on her face. He knew he had chosen right then.

Actually, they had never gone to New York. They had never managed to find a date on which both of them had a full weekend to spare. They had resolved on going in the summer, after Rory's New York trip, but we all know how that turned out. They had broken up beforehand, well, he had left and she had broken up with him on the phone. It certainly wasn't Jess's favourite memory. I think I might have loved you. Oh how these words had tortured him. He had walked away thinking that she would simply move on. He had pretended that their relationship hadn't really been that important to either one of them, but he had been wrong. She had meant so much to him. He had known right when hanging up the phone after that memorable call on her graduation day. She meant more to him than he ever liked to admit. He had realized then, that he had loved her.

Jess sighed. Way too many painful memories. That's what Christmas did to you.

Jess resolved to get back to his apartment. He still had stuff to go over and his GED testing was not too far away from now. Jess was terrified of failing. Rationally he should pass easily, but Jess was too scared to acknowledge this fact. All he could think about Rory and not being a failure. He wanted to pass this test so badly. A year ago he would have been disgusted with himself. He never cared for school. He cared for this diploma. It would open up doors for him. He could even go to college, although Jess had never even considered it. He wanted to do this his way. No matter what other people would think, he could do without college. He was not like all the others. He had his own kind of education and ways to improve his knowledge. College wasn't for him. It was for people like Rory, but not for him.

Okay, he should really get going. Standing here staring at Rockefeller Center wasn't getting him anywhere. There were books waiting for him.

Jess was about to turn around when something caught his eye. There was someone standing in the middle of the square looking at the sky. This person, this girl was several yards away from him, but something about her seemed extremely familiar to Jess. He couldn't look away.

This couldn't be, could it?

This couldn't possibly….

He didn't even notice moving closer.

Her hair, her back, the way she held herself up.

But this couldn't be her.

Jess didn't know what he was doing anymore.

He unconsciously followed an inner urge to make sure he wasn't imagining things.

He had to know for sure.

He couldn't be conceived, could he?

Before he knew he was only feet away from her.

He was breathless.

He didn't know why, but he was scared to death.

Scared that it might be her and scared that it might not be her.

"Rory?"

Was that just him?

Did he just ask that?

It must have been, there was no one else around that had a voice that sounded like his.

She turned around, and for a moment Jess's heart stopped.

Rory.

It was her.

Jess could see her eyes widen.

Surprise?

Shock?

Probably both.

"Jess" it was very soft but he heard it anyways.

He couldn't believe this.

He didn't know what to do.

Should he say something? Should he just walk away?

Jess was paralyzed. He couldn't move or speak. All he could think of was her standing right in front of him. Her, who had broke his heart. Her, he loved so hopelessly that all his life was evolving around her. Her, whose sight was unbearable to him. It was too painful. He did everything for her, but he couldn#t face her yet. The pain was still to big, the rejection though months away still lingered in his mind. He couldn't deal with this. He couldn't let her hurt him again, let her crush him once more. He was just on the right track.

He had to go.

He had to run.

Once again.

He turned away from her and started walking.

He would forget this.

He would move on like nothing happened.

This was just too soon.

She wouldn't let him.

"Jess" he heard her cry.

"Jess" again, stronger this time. He heard her running after him but he didn't turn around. On the inside he was pleading for her to go away. But she didn't. She soon was right next to him. He didn't stop, just kept walking and she walked with him. He pretended she wasn't there. No, it wasn't Rory walking beside him down Fifth Avenue. No she wasn't there. If he just kept ignoring her she would go away eventually.

Suddenly he felt how his arm was grabbed forcefully. She forced him to turn and look at her. She tried to look him into the eyes. Geez, this hurt so much. Why did she do this to him? He couldn't look her in the eyes. He couldn't stand the blue of the. He would fall again. No, don't look into her eyes Jess.

But he had already done so.

Their eyes had locked.

It was overbearing, just like all the times before.

This was just too much.

Oh how he could fall into these eyes.

These eyes. That was all it took. His disguise was gone. He was right in front of her, vulnerable.

"Jess" there, she had said it again.

How much he loved his name with the sound of her voice.

Her voice was shaking he noticed.

And then he saw it.

Tears rolling down her cheek.

Tears, really tears.

She was crying.

"Jess" it was just a whisper but accompanied with a smile.

She smiled, she cried and smiled.

Jess felt a huge weight lifting from his shoulders.

All the pain from her dorm room was suddenly forgotten.

She had told him no then, but now she was standing in front of him. Here in New York. She was here. She was crying and smiling. Because of him. He meant something to her after all.

Jess couldn't help it.

He slowly started smiling.

He didn't care about anything then, just about her.

Around them there was so much commotion, but inside him, it felt like he stood still in time.