Chapter Five

Kagome shifted her numerous bags as she walked out the doors of the small grocery store. She sighed audibly as followed the sense of youki to a small shaded area of the parking lot. She never dreamed of seeing Sesshoumaru again much less in modern times. The taiyoukai had not aged a day, a fact that startled and annoyed her.

She was not sure why she was surprised; he was a youkai after all. The familiar pangs of guilt plagued her once again. Mitsukai had spent the entirety of her young life in utter isolation. Isolation that now proved unnecessary. Never once did Kagome think to seek out Sesshoumaru in this era. She simply assumed that he too died with the remainder of his kind. Ultimately it was Mitsukai that paid for that rash assumption, for it was she that was made utterly miserable.

Kagome knew full well her daughter's growing unhappiness. She could see it hidden deep within her golden eyes. Mitsukai once a vibrant talkative child became sullen and withdrawn. Her laugher that once filled the shrine evaporated into silence. Mitsukai secluded herself from her family, spending day after day in her room reading or drawing. Sometimes they could coax her out, others they were greeted with steely silence.

Her drawings were hung about her room new drawings atop old. There were hundreds of them; the very oldest were childish crayon drawings. Those were yellowed now their corners torn and curled but she refused to throw them away. Later she switched to ink or pencil, until Souta bought her charcoal pencils and sketchpads made from linen.

One night while seated beneath the Goshinboku she lifted her head from her sketching and asked a question. It was an inquiry she had made numerous times before, ever since she was old enough to speak, "Why do you cry, Mama?"

Kagome startled, had given the long rehearsed answer that in the past always satisfied the girl, "I was thinking of the time before I had you."

Mitsukai gripped the charcoal pencil hard enough so the wood splintered and turned to powder in her palm. She opened her hand slowly allowing the shards to fall like ebon grains of sand, "I don't believe that anymore."

Mitsukai threw herself into her drawing with frightening intensity afterwards. She would not eat and paused only to sleep when she collapsed from sheer exhaustion. Kagome would pad quietly into her room and uncurl her clawed fingers from her current drawing. The sketches were always the same. Wings, beautiful ethereal wings that make even the most pious of tennyo weep in envy. The symbolism was not lost on Kagome.

When Mitsukai did not draw she read. The subject matter of her books varied at least. Science, philosophy and history were her passions, as were tales of legend and valor. The monochrome world of literature and drawing seemed far more beautiful that her life of imprisonment.

They were both prisoners, where they not? Mitsukai was a hostage of necessity and Kagome of choice. Yet where Mitsukai retreated from her pain, Kagome wallowed. The miko was locked in a prison of her own creation. Her bars were regret and the lock guilt. It was a place where she would receive no pardon, no absolution for her crime. In order to gain forgiveness one must be able to forgive oneself. That was something she could not do.

Her crime was too great, the lives she ruined too numerous. She wished she could take it all back. If she could do it all over again she would not have given the Shikon no tama to Inuyasha. Then her friends would be alive, but she would not have Mitsukai. Would she, if given the choice, trade her daughter's life for theirs? The answer was overwhelmingly yes, and that realization cut into her more harshly than any blade or claw could.

Kagome took a deep breath as she continued her trek across the parking lot. The cans of pineapple, her daughter requested bounced painfully on her knees. She grimaced as she resituated the bags. Sesshoumaru stood leaning casually against a tall tree, his golden eyes fixed on her dispassionately. His arms, he had both now she realized, were folded slightly over his chest. He was still so impossibly beautiful.

She watched as he ran a single clawed hand through his long pale hair. Her eyes went over his features carefully. It was startling how much he and Mitsukai resembled one another. They had the same perfectly straight silver-white hair, pale almost opalescent skin and golden eyes.

Sesshoumaru had concealed his markings and pointed ears somehow, but the resemblance was still unmistakable. They shared the same high-sculpted cheekbones, but the line of Mitsukai's jaw was softer and her chin slightly more pointed. Mitsukai had also inherited her mother's willowy frame but her father's height. Kagome shook her head and set her groceries down at her feet. Sesshoumaru said they needed to talk and she had no doubts on their subject. Just as she doubted that their talk would be particularly pleasant.

She could feel his agitation coming off him in waves. Kagome was at a loss to begin this particular conversation and Sesshoumaru merely started at her as if he were attempting to see into her soul. She knew she had to tell him about their daughter yet she also feared his reaction. Would he take Mitsukai? Would he see her as a mistake and harm her?

"You look good," she began wincing at the lameness of her statement.

A frown creased across Sesshoumaru's perfect features as he gazed frigidly upon the mother of his child. He was furious and rightfully so, yet feelings he thought long ago quelled for the miko struggled from the depths of his soul. It was completely absurd these feelings he held for her. There were certainly other females both youkai and human that were greater in beauty and intelligence and even a scant few that were more powerful. Yet the night he held her in his arms he felt more complete than he had in the many decades of his life.

He loved her. It was insane and irrational but never the less true and five centuries had yet to allay that simple truth. She loved his brother and the night they spent together would not change that. She left him and unknown to him took their unborn child with her. He did nothing to stop her; to do so would damage his pride. In fact he encouraged her to go. "Put this all behind you," he had said. Pity he did not follow his own advice.

He would not be his father, would not submit to a weak human female. She was a worthless human, he told himself time and time again. If she left he would be free of her or so he thought. The decades rolled on and he married as was expected. His marriage had been a satisfying one but he had not been completely happy.

His bride had everything one could ever want loyal, intelligent, beautiful, and powerful. She was utterly devoted to him and loved him beyond all comprehension. He however could not return her affections for his heart belonged to another.

Six month before their twentieth anniversary she was slain by youkai exterminators. Sesshoumaru sneered inwardly at the hypocrisy of humans. If a youkai kills a human it is murder when humans kill youkai it is extermination. He had tried to save her, but Tensaiga could not revive the mere pieces that were left.

He had arrived to late. The hunters who slew her had already harvested most of her body to forge their gruesome weapons. Word traveled quickly of the Lady of the Western lands' demise as did the identity of her slayers. Within two days of the crime revenge had been exacted. He slew their entire village sparing only the children.

His honor would not permit him to slay those so helpless. Later, he considered throwing his honor to the wind when he discovered his wife had been with child when she died. The frown on his face deepened until he was scowling. Twice now he had been denied his rights as a father.

Kagome watched the emotions play across Sesshoumaru's normally guarded features. She wondered what he was thinking but did not dare ask. Kagome sighed as she sat near the tree he leaned against. She pulled her knees up under her chin and waited for him to speak. After a few moments he too slid to the ground and sat next to her.

"You haven't aged a day. That's kind of surprising," she said as she plucked a wildflower from the grass.

Sesshoumaru snorted and replied. "Immortality would be pointless if one grew old."

"I suppose so," she said as she tossed the flower away.

She looked at him from the corner of her eye. He was watching her thoughtfully and every once in a while his brow would crease slightly in annoyance. She had never been good with small talk and small talk with Sesshoumaru seemed even more awkward. Kagome sighed again it was better to just get right to the point.

"You know about Mitsukai don't you?"

Sesshoumaru leaned forward so that his eyes were concealed. When he at last spoke his words were flat and had just the barest hint of unfettered rage.

"You were foolish to hide her from me Miko."

Kagome's blue gray eyes flashed in rage at his accusation. "I didn't hide her from you. I tried to go back but I couldn't. And my name is Kagome. I know you know my name you grunted it enough times when we…."

Kagome stopped abruptly, her cheeks burning crimson. Sesshoumaru smirked inwardly as he frowned at her forbiddingly. There was the Kagome he knew. He had almost thought her lost. Sesshoumaru found some of his anger dissipating at her confession. He knew her to be truthful. Her honesty was one of the many things that set her apart from other humans. If she said she tried to return to him, then he was certain she did. That said he would still have answers.

"Explain," he said flatly.

Kagome looked confused for a moment but quickly recovered as something dawned on her. "That was your jacket wasn't it?"

Sesshoumaru nodded but said nothing.

"I should have known. Misty has barely taken it off since you gave it to her. I think she even sleeps in it. She likes the way you smell," Kagome replied offhandedly.

"Misty?" Sesshoumaru said with a frown. He seldom approved of diminutive nicknames.

"Yeah, I know Mitsy is probably more accurate but it sounded to much um…like a dog," Kagome explained with an apologetic smile.

Sesshoumaru snorted and looked away at something unseen in the distance. Mitsukai did the same thing when she was upset; Kagome noted. One of these days she would have to ask one of them what exactly they saw. An unexpected sob bubbled up into her throat and Sesshoumaru looked at her with barely concealed concern.

"I'm so glad you're here," Kagome gasped as she swallowed her sob.

Sesshoumaru looked at her quizzically but allowed her to continue. Tears ran down her pale cheeks and he found his anger evaporating in the face of her pain. He lifted a hand to brush away the hair that clung to her tear streaked cheeks but let it drop in his lap. She had wronged him in every way imaginable yet, he found himself torn between wanting to comfort her and throttle her. Sesshoumaru cursed the power this fragile seeming female held over him.

"I thought I could raise her by myself but I ..I….tried.. She's killed someone," Kagome finally managed to gasp.

"I know," Sesshoumaru answered softly.

Sesshoumaru abandoned all restraint and pulled Kagome into his lap. Kagome gasped in surprise but soon settled placing her head on his broad shoulder. He stroked her ebony hair as she fisted her small hands into the fabric of his shirt as she wept. After a few moments when Kagome had calmed he said.

"It's been taken care of."

Shocked, she lifted her tear filled eyes to meet his. Kagome opened her mouth to speak but was silenced when he crushed his lips to hers. She gasped in shock but remained unresponsive. A low growl sounded in his throat as he kissed her harder demanding she submit. She whimpered against his mouth and he responded by deepening his kiss. He released her lips to nuzzle her slender throat and run his tongue along the shell of her ear.

"Sesshoumaru," she murmured as she ran her fingertips through his silken hair.

He lifted his eyes to meet hers and she placed soft tender kisses up his jaw to meet his lips. Sesshoumaru slid one hand into her dark tresses and allowed the other to snake around her waist, pulling her nearly flush with his chest. He wanted, loved and needed her beyond all reason. The fact that she bore his daughter further cemented his longing for her. She was indisputably his.

Kagome kissed him deeply, dipping her tongue within the confines of his mouth before pulling away and shaking her head.

"I love Inuyasha," she whispered almost inaudibly as her lips lightly brushed his cheek.

Sesshoumaru looked as if she struck him. He roughly pushed her from his lap and stood towering over her. The taiyoukai clenched his fist to his sides hard enough that they bled. After five hundred or seventeen years, depending on whom one spoke of, he was still losing to his long dead brother. His anger blazed anew as glared at the miko at his feet. Kagome continued to sit, her eyes meekly averted. She was pretending to be weak and it disgusted him.

"I want my child, Miko," he said harshly.

Kagome glared up him and spat. "Our child."

Sesshoumaru snorted and turned away. He was more hurt at her rejection than he cared to admit.

"Regardless, she will come with me."

"Would you want her if she were hanyou?" Kagome sneered nastily as she rose to her feet. She knew the answer or so she thought.

"Do you lock her away because she is not?" Sesshoumaru retorted icily as he turned to face her.

Kagome paled but held his glare. "That's not why I-"

"I care not for your excuses miko," Sesshoumaru interrupted.

"How dare you!" she seethed as she stalked up to him.

He spared her a bored look before continuing, "Simply understand this. If I did not believe that Mitsukai still needed you. I would eviscerate you for your careless treatment of her."

Kagome was livid as struck him with all her strength across the face. Unintentionally she released a small portion of her miko energy with the slap, causing an angry red burn on his left cheek. The burn was not serious but enough to be painful.

"I'm sorry," she stammered as she reached up to tend to the wound.

He snatched her hand at the wrist and smirked. "There is hope for you yet, Miko."

Kagome breathed a sigh as she looked away. She would never understand this man. He was either threatening her or kissing her. She was certain he was insane. However she needed him, Mitsukai needed him. Sesshoumaru could teach their daughter about her heritage. Even if he could not Mitsukai deserved to know her father, just as Sesshoumaru deserved to know his daughter. She would comprise, she decided if nothing else for Mitsukai happiness.

Kagome pulled her arm free and ran a hand through her dark hair. "What do you mean 'It's taken care of'?" she asked suddenly more tired than she realized.

"One of my servants is a high ranking police official. He took steps to assure the corpse of that filth was never found," Sesshoumaru explained.

Kagome frowned as she hugged herself, "He was a human being, Sesshoumaru."

"He tried to violate my child. He is fortunate, I felt merciful and did not revive him in order to kill him more slowly," he said coldly.

Kagome took a few steps forward with her back to the taiyoukai. She could not help but agree with his fervor, but the last thing she wanted was for her daughter to be taught to hate humans.

"I need some time to explain things to her," she said softly changing the subject abruptly.

Kagome licked her lips as she looked up at the sky it was now mid morning. Mitsukai was undoubtedly awake now and worried about her. "You can't take her from me. I won't let you," she whispered.

Sesshoumaru moved forward and placed his hands lightly on her shoulders. "Taking her completely from you was never my intention," he said softly as he placed a light kiss on the top of her head.

Kagome reached up and laid her hand on top of his. She squeezed it gently almost apologetically. "Tomorrow is her birthday," she informed him wistfully.

Sesshoumaru nodded as he mentally filed that information away. He had a lot of birthdays to make up.

"What is she like," he asked as he twirled a lock of her dark hair between two fingers of his free hand.

"Misty, she's sullen and arrogant like her father," Kagome replied with a small teasing smile.

Sesshoumaru lifted a pale brow and said, "It could be worse, she could be insufferable and argumentative like her mother."

Kagome swallowed a small laugh. "Oh, she is, no doubt about it. She's also passionate, spirited, stubborn, inquisitive, impish, playful and utterly brilliant," she said with all the maternal pride she could muster. Kagome choked back a sob as the awful truth struck her

"….and I'm killing her."

A/N:

Yay! Chapter five. Like the other four it's unbetaed and likely riddled with errors. Good news is I may almost officially like this story. I'm out of the fungus and chia pet stages at any rate. Sesshoumaru was kind of a jerk in this chapter. But I intended him to be. This defiantly will not be a story were Sesshoumaru shows up and everything is sunshine and lollipops. Anyways I hope you all enjoyed this latest addition. Updates will likely slow after this point since there is only a month before the semester lets out and I am currently swamped with homework. But you never know.. I may surprise you. Or me.=)