Chapter 4: Versus
Harry awoke the next morning feeling refreshed, dawn's light just starting to creep through his window. Harry blinked at the blurred images around his room that reflected the pink-orange hues from the morning sun. He put on his glasses and stared out the window letting the hazy feel of sleep clear from his mind. With a stretch, the young man got up and opened the window. The dewy air surrounded him, the smell of the life on the new day was invigorating and Harry breathed it in deeply.
He looked down into the garden and then up to the birds playing in the trees across the street. The touch of the cool air mixing with the warmth of the morning sun was a soothing embrace. Harry felt a serenity envelop him that had been missing from his life. He gazed aimlessly at the new day's life until he noticed a distinct amber glow begin to emanate from the trees and animals. The change shook his mind free from its meditative state and he blinked to reassess the view in front of him. When he looked again, the trees and birds appeared vibrant in the morning light, but the amber glow was gone. Assuring himself it was just a play of light Harry turned back to his room and got dressed to head downstairs.
It was only 7:00 a.m. and he figured he would head down to the kitchen to grab a quick bite to eat before meeting Dudley in the basement. To his surprise, Dudley was already in the kitchen and in front of him was a mound of yogurt and oatmeal.
Dudley looked up at Harry and with a mouthful of the mixture he muffled out, "Proteins and Carbs, most important thing to start the day off with. 'Course some blokes get in a huff over the glycemic index of the morning carb intake, but I find that it's not so important for the first meal of the day. Grab a quick bite so we can go and get started." Harry stared for a long moment, flabbergasted at his cousin. What in the world did he just say and what happened to his dolt of a cousin? Finally, he headed into the kitchen and gazed at the inordinate amount of food in front of his cousin. Harry wondered for a moment if it were possible that anything would actually be left to eat.
After breakfast the two headed down to the basement. Dudley told Harry to warm up and stretch for about 10 minutes before they got started. If it wasn't enough that Harry heard his cousin speak words he was sure Dudley would never be able to pronounce, much less understand, the site of his stocky cousin contorting to make his fingers touch his feet almost floored Harry. It wasn't so much that Harry couldn't believe Dudley had the dexterity to complete the stretch, it was more that Dudley's left over girth should have made it impossible to bend the way he was. After their stretching Dudley summoned Harry to the middle of the floor and began his instruction.
"Alright, stand with your feet just a little less than shoulder width apart, stagger your right foot forward about a half pace, and keep your weight centered over your hips. Good. Now bend your knees slightly and stand on the balls of your feet. NOT YOUR TOES! Balls of your feet. Better. Now, bounce a little on your feet BUT DON'T SHIFT YOUR WEIGHT! Right. Keep yourself centered you need to be able to move just as quickly in any direction and if you shift your weight from foot to foot your opponent will take advantage of that.
Harry felt awkward bouncing like a spring in the middle of the room with his cousin barking orders at him. However, with each progression his cousin guided him through, he could feel the purpose of the movement. He felt light, but firmly placed on his base.
"DON'T BOUNCE WITH YOUR KNEES – Use your ankles and STAY OFF YOUR TOES! If you shift onto your toes then your weight is forward and I'm gonna put an uppercut under your chin that'll have your bullocks in your throat before you hit the floor. Right. Good. Now circle a bit, to your right first, always try and circle to your dominant side. Good, DON'T SHIFT YOUR WEIGHT TO THE SIDE – keep your feet under you and shift, don't lean, to the side. Good. Now try back and forth. DON'T LET YOUR HEELS TOUCH THE GROUND. You do that I'll give you a blow to the gizzards, have you tasting the morning's oatmeal again.
Harry wasn't sure if he was scared or amused by Dudley's colorful explanations. It was apparent to Harry that Dudley was projecting the twisted demeanor of some boxing coach.
"Alright now here's where it gets a little tricky." Dudley said.
"Great." Harry thought to himself. It hadn't stopped getting tricky since Dudley told him to stagger his feet.
"I'm gonna throw some light blows at you." Harry's eyes grew wide at hearing this. "Relax, I'm not going to make contact. The blows will be to either your right, left, or to the body. I'll tell you where they're going first and how to dodge them properly."
This went on for about another thirty minutes, as Dudley threw several swift but obviously errand blows at Harry. Dudley explained that the basic gist was to slightly lean away from the blow, but to recover quickly to your center of gravity by either moving your feet or your torso. Harry suddenly had a new appreciation for his quiddich training, he found that it had made his reflexes quick enough to allow him to recover from technical mistakes without being terribly exposed to his opponent.
"Good Potter, if you weren't so damn lanky I would suggest you pick up the sport. But you'd need to gain a couple kilos before that could happen. Maybe I can help you with that too – need a spotter for my weight training anyway."
Harry thought that he would be opposed to the idea of more time with Dudley, but the truth was that he was enjoying what his cousin was teaching him. It was amazing that someone who Harry thought to be the muggle version of Goyle (or Crabbe) could make such clear sense of something. Every time that Harry had made a mistake, Dudley instantly caught it, and was able to explain simply what he was doing wrong, why he was doing it, and how to correct it.
"Remember, keep an eye on your opponents hips. When those hips turn or shift you should know how to react. That's it for today, you did good for a skinny little clot." Dudley punched Harry in the shoulder as he said this, a bit harder than Harry would have liked.
To Harry's surprise two hours had passed while he was in the basement with Dudley. When he and Dudley got back to the kitchen Aunt Petunia was already cooking up breakfast and Vernon was in the living room reading the morning post.
"Been smacking the sponger around down in the basement Dudders? Vernon said. Good, good, it's about time he got some treatment he deserves."
Dudley didn't even look over at his father and instead headed straight for the fridge and called over to Harry, "Best get some water in you. More protein and some simple carbos after a workout, replenishes what you lost and reduces muscle catabolism."
Harry again stared open-mouthed at his cousin. He had been more impressed by his cousin in the past three hours, then in all of his life. After his meal Harry headed upstairs expecting to see aliens and spaceships waiting to take him back to earth. With a final shake of his head, Harry set off clean himself up.
Out of the shower Harry returned to his room and got dressed for the day. When he passed by the window he stared out again to the scene he took in this morning. The amber glow he'd witnessed was still burning in his mind. He couldn't decide if he'd just been tired or if it was a play of the light. Looking at the scene now, the morning sun was at full blaze and the only movement around the trees was the rustling leaves in the summer breeze. He admired the simple beauty of it before turning back to his room.
Harry relaxed against the headboard of his bed. The past five days at Privet Drive had probably been the worst of his life. His heart still ached from the loss of Sirius, and the burden of the prophecy was never too far from his thoughts. The silence of the room was encompassing, and Harry felt the familiar pull of depression that had plagued him since the night at the ministry. He looked to Hedwig's empty cage and felt a sudden tinge of regret at telling his faithful friend to stay at Grimmauld Place. He desired a connection to have some sort of interaction that comforted him with a sense of belonging. "One day at a time Harry, just pick a direction and go."
He wanted to return to the pensieve but he feared the awkwardness he would feel talking to a Sirius that had no recollection of the previous day's conversation. A nauseous sense of pain came over him as he realized that his dealings with Sirius in the pensieve were going to be a constant reminder of his godfather's death. Never just a memory Harry consoled himself. This self-made promise brought resolve to the young man.
He immediately got up and retrieved the pensieve from atop his dresser. Again he set it on the nightstand next to his bed. He leaned over and paused for a minute as he looked at the blurry scene appearing behind the silvery-white mist floating below his nose. The familiar image of Sirius was looking back up at him mouthing unheard words. The sight grew to a blur as pushed downward and felt the cool sensation of the pensieve's contents against his nose and face.
He felt himself tumbling forward as he lost his orientation and watched the image of the master bedroom begin to clear into view.
"Well kid, if you're there watching me here than I guess I've gone and snuffed it." Harry heard the familiar tidings of Sirius' voice. Harry thought to himself as the Sirius continued talking in the backround. "You know he could have started his little monologue on a less dramatic note."
"Snape's a Slimy Snot Rag!" Harry said speaking over Sirius.
The talking stopped and all was quiet for an extended moment. Harry began to question if the enchantments that Sirius placed on the pensieve were going to work. A motionless and quiet Sirius stood in front of him. Suddenly, the man's faced animated again with one of Sirius' twisted smiles and said, "I couldn't agree more."
The colors of the room blurred when the change began. The floor below Harry fell away from him and he lurched to his knees in a futile attempt to prevent him from falling away with the floor. He remained in place, but the tumbling of the room around him made it feel as though he was falling through a dimensionless space. Just as suddenly, he saw himself being enclosed into a room that would be his new surroundings, and they were closing in fast. Harry flung his hands over his head and closed his eyes as he waited for the roof, floor, and walls to crash in on him at the same time. He cringed at the anticipated collision, but when it didn't come he slowly opened his eyes and took in the room around him.
The settings held the familiar look of a room that could have been inside Grimmauld Place, though if it were he had surely never seen it. Harry smelled the dingy, unlived in air that had greeted him last year when he first came to the Order's headquarters, it was a familiar scent. There were no windows, but the space was well lit by an unseen source around the edges of the wall. The room was large, maybe half the size of the Great Hall at Hogwarts. The floor and walls were stone, and on the walls were shields with cross swords of varying shapes and colors. Four suits of armor stood in front of the support pillars spaced squarely around the room.
Harry craned his neck to look across the room where he saw several bookcases lined perpendicular to the back wall, though parallel to each other. In front of the bookcases were two tables very similar to those in Hogwart's library, a crest of a serpent stained into the middle of each table. Slowly gazing to his left Harry recognized a high table with three stools in front of it. It was just like the tables he sat at down in the school's dungeon. Upon the high table was a black cauldron with no fire burning beneath it. Shifting his sight back around to look at the left side of the room, he saw a large wooden platform slightly raised with curious gaps in it like a maze through the wood. Harry turned around to look behind him and found that he wasn't far from the edge of the room, maybe only 10 meters. Against this last wall he saw another raised platform, though this one without any gaps. On the platform was a chalkboard and a podium. Behind the podium stood his godfather with his chin on his hand leaning onto the podium.
"Take your time why don't you. I'll just stand here and wait while you stare at the tapestries." Sirius said.
Harry glanced around the room once more and didn't see anything to make sense of Sirius' comment. "Well being as there are no tapestries I guess you won't have to wait any longer." Harry said.
Sirius lifted his head from his hand and raised his other hand casually from atop the podium motioning with his wand towards the ceiling. Harry looked up and immediately recognized the tapestries hanging from the ceilings. They were adorned to match the Gryffindor banners in the Great Hall.
"Bit out of place don't you think?" Harry said still looking at the very high ceiling.
"Well I thought changing the room to suit the needs of your training was more important than making sure the wallpaper matched the curtains." Sirius said dryly.
Harry looked around again, more prudently this time, and was sure there was no wallpaper, and for that matter no windows. It struck him that his godfather was probably having a good laugh at him by now.
"It was the first bit of decorating I did after I furnished the room to suit your training needs – the tapestries that is of course." Sirius said.
"Where is this place?" Harry asked.
Sirius jumped down from his podium and walked towards Harry. "This is a corridor beneath 12 Grimmauld Place. I'm not sure that anyone but Moony knows it's here. Though I suppose old Mad-Eye might have been able to see down here with that magical peeper of his. Doubt he'd find the entrance though."
"So what do we do now?" Harry said.
"Well that's really up to you kid. What are you in the mood for? I'm only here to help you learn."
Harry really wasn't feeling up to getting into a conversation with Sirius that he knew would not be recalled by the man ever again. If he wasn't going to be able to establish an ongoing rapport he saw no sense in dawdling in casual banter.
"How bout some dueling?" Harry said as he looked around the room.
"Good choice! Shall we head over there then? Sirius walked past Harry and made his way to the raised wooden floor.
As Sirius lead Harry onto the middle of the wooden floor he asked, "Are we going to be using the full features of the floor today or just open dueling?"
"Er, the full features? How is that exactly?" Harry replied.
"The wooden floor can be utilized to allow for open space dueling, a set maze where we seek each other out and fight in passageways, or for random appearances of walls and passageways."
"That's what all those carvings in the floor are for. Looked like some sort of rat maze when I first saw it." Harry said. "How about we just start with open dueling."
"Excellent." Sirius took several paces away from Harry so that they were both centered on the floor facing each other. He bowed and when he looked up a glare flashed in his eyes, "Stupefy"
Harry had just managed to get his wand at the ready when the bolt of red light flew at him. He lurched quickly to his right and the spell barely missed as he felt it whiz past his ear.
"Not too prepared today are we? Bet your wishing you had gone for the maze option huh?" Sirius said.
Harry paid no mind to the taunts of his godfather, instead he took the time to gather himself and figure some sort of plan. "Expelliarmus!" Harry yelled followed immediately by "Furnunculus!"
Sirius easily blocked the first spell and side stepped the next. "What are you screaming for Harry? Your wand is right in front of you; you don't have to yell at it to cast a spell, Tarantallegra."
Harry leaped over the spell as it headed for his feet. "Petrificus Totalus" Harry said softly this time without the yell. Apparently the change in tone worked as Sirius was struck in the arm by the spell.
Harry relaxed when he saw his godfather fall backward stiffly onto the floor. "Accio Wa.."
Harry was cut off as Sirius suddenly sat upright from his frozen state, "Incarcerous".
The ropes conjured by Sirius quickly wrapped around the young man binding him completely. He collapsed hard onto the floor as Sirius walked up to him. "Just because you don't yell a spell doesn't mean you say it without the same conviction. Your wand can distinguish that. As he walked past Harry he mumbled, "About the weakest petrifying spell I've ever been hit with." Sirius turned and sat on the floor facing Harry, "Now, tell me what you did wrong."
Harry was a bit put off realizing that he had just lost the duel. Though he was holding onto the hope that he only lost because his magic in the pensieve was somehow lessened. He wasn't happy being wrapped up helplessly in the ropes either, and he was beginning to get upset that Sirius hadn't freed him from the bindings. "Obviously, I didn't know that my spell wouldn't keep you bound."
Sirius calmly waved his wand and summoned Harry's wand to his hand. "Well, that's part of it – a small part. What else?"
Harry was growing angrier at not being freed from the ropes. Was Sirius trying to rub in that he had won? What was the point of keeping him lying on the floor like this? "I don't know…I guess I should have been more prepared for your…sudden attack." He fought against the ropes a little and felt them tighten around him.
"Does a death eater wait to make sure you're properly situated before he starts cursing you? No, I'm afraid that's not one of the things you did wrong. As a matter of fact I was quite pleased with your ability to dodge that first spell, one of the few things you did well."
Harry was angry at this point. He's just rubbing it in! What an arse! If this is what he could expect when he came into the pensieve maybe he wouldn't be back so soon. He strained harder at the ropes and felt them tighten further in response to his struggle.
"So can you tell me what else you did wrong in that disappointingly short duel Harry?"
"NO SIRIUS, WHY DON'T YOU CLUE ME IN, SINCE YOU SEEM SO PLEASED WITH YOURSELF!"
"Well if you're going to get testy let's just let you lie there and think about it for a bit." Sirius stood up, stepped over Harry and walked to the edge of the wooden floor where he took a seat.
Harry fought with all his strength against the ropes. This only succeeded in prompting the ropes to dig harder into him. It was getting beyond damaged pride now, at this point the ropes were painful and he felt the blood flow being cut off to his hands and legs.
"Maybe if you took another approach rather than fighting those ropes you might see some success for the first time today." Sirius said over his shoulder. "You know those ropes are magical, it's not like I wove them from cotton and tied you with them."
Harry lay there in pain. Why was Sirius doing this to him? Maybe his Godfather expected some kind of conversation each day before they got started and had taken offense to Harry's abruptness. Maybe Sirius' essence hadn't properly enchanted into this part of the pensieve and this was a less caring version of him. What did he mean the ropes are magical? Of course they're magical. He had the unique pleasure of watching them appear from the end of Sirius' wand.
Harry was growing exhausted from the battle with his bindings. However, when he finally relaxed the ropes slackened just a bit.
"You were standing square to me the whole time you were dueling. Made for a pretty large target area," Sirius said calmly from his sitting position. "you used a spell that is easily faked, particularly in areas were vision is limited, though that's not the case here, it is still relevant."
Harry's resolution was returned as the slackening of the ropes allowed the blood to return to his hands and feet. He thought to himself as he listened to Sirius' lecture, "Well if I get out of these ropes, I'll make sure that my next mistake doesn't include not thumping you in the head!" If he could only get out of the ropes – he felt them slacken a bit more at this.
"You chose to dodge all of my spells rather than blocking any of them, as a result you were slowed in your wand movements as you had to right yourself after each dodge." Sirius continued.
Magical ropes…magical. What does that mean? Harry closed his eyes and fought in his mind against the ropes. This time they loosened considerably. That was it! The ropes were a magical binding, not physical. He willed against the ropes as hard as he could and they fell to the floor and disintegrated. Harry got up as quietly as he could and started creeping over towards Sirius.
"But worst of all…" Sirius continued.
Harry was only 5 meters away.
"…after I took your wand from you…"
3 meters away.
"…you didn't search for another weapon or a way out…"
1 meter away!
Sirius jumped up and turned around with both wands pointing at Harry, "Instead you walked over here unarmed after you broke your bindings, to do what I don't know, against a wizard holding not one, but two wands to your none." Sirius paused, "Good job on figuring out how to break a binding curse though, at least you have that going for you." A smile, no rather a smirk, washed over Sirius' face and he winked.
"Is this what I can expect at every session with you!" Harry said.
"That's up to you Harry. Your rashness dictated the tone of this lesson, you were the one who started yelling after I bound you." Sirius replied.
Irritated, Harry sat down on the edge of the wooden platform and looked down at the stone floor. "I just didn't expect it to be this way."
"What expectations do you have Harry? Are you going to stand square shouldered the next time we duel? Are you going to let down your guard after you try to petrify me again? Most importantly do you now know how to break a binding curse should you be hit with one again?"
Harry looked up at his godfather and saw the same caring eyes looking at him that stared into his heart yesterday.
"Harry, if you're here then you know that I have no recollection of how many times we've trained together. I have to always assume that you know as much as I have to teach you. If I don't then this training will be useless to you as you become stronger against me."
"Well I guess I should have told you that this is the first time I've been here." Harry said.
"For Merlin's sake, of course you should have? I should tell you now that you can't physically attack me in here. I assume that was your plan when you were sneaking up behind me a moment ago. I'm a memory in here Harry, not a physical person."
Harry could have kicked himself. He knew this of course but in his blind rage all he could think about was getting even. He decided not to tell Sirius this, it would only add to the laundry list of mistakes that his godfather had already pointed out to him.
"If I had known this was the first time we were dueling Harry I wouldn't have suggested we went straight to it. I've prepared a spanking good introductory speech for each subject you know."
"Well maybe we should start over. How's that sound?" Harry said.
"Sounds like a cracking good idea to me." Sirius said. The man looked down at his godson and took a seat next to him on the raised wooden floor. If Sirius had been corporeal they would have been touching shoulders. He looked over at Harry who was still staring at the floor. "Gonna have to work on that temper of yours – though that's like the pot calling the teakettle black. Emotion is good, but only if it can be channeled properly."
Harry made no motion to acknowledge his godfather's comments.
"Right then, why don't we just get started?" Sirius said. "I was going to give you this elaborate speech about the dance of a duel, seeking out weaknesses, manipulating your opponent and such. But since we seemed to have skipped the formalities today why don't we just get to the meat of it?"
Harry was still staring at the floor. His angry outburst had brought forth some of the dreary emotions that were always just under the surface. He suddenly felt trapped in his own life again and was feeling the need to escape into a dark corner.
"Listen kid, this'll go better if it's a two way conversation. Otherwise I'm just stroking my ego with my unrivalled knowledge of all life's lessons. I know my presence is awe inspiring but you'll just have to get past that." This had the affect that Sirius hoped for, as he saw a reluctant smile grace the corner of Harry's mouth.
"Unrivalled knowledge you say? If that's the case how come I'm here and the new owner of an unplottable house in London?" Harry's tone was goading but there was pain behind his words as well.
"Thought that would be obvious by now. In the midst of gracing the world with an example of my endless knowledge, I was interrupted by the gods, who deemed that the world wasn't ready for a man of my brilliance. Who am I to argue with the powers that be?"
Harry fought to hold back a smile, "Only a man who could come up with the idea to give his last will and testament while staring at himself in a mirror, would speak a piece of drivel as loaded as that."
Bowing, Sirius replied, "I aim to please." After a pause he started up again, "So, the key to dueling is…"
"You're kidding right." Harry interrupted.
"Quiet now, I'm trying to don my sea of knowledge upon you. The key to dueling is two-fold. First is to have the proper fundamentals, footwork, positioning, and an understanding of all the characteristics involved with spells; especially being able to recognize them. The second is learning your opponent. Everybody has tendencies, and when you can spot them you can exploit them to your benefit. Manipulate your opponent."
Harry started staring about the room halfway through his godfather's speech. Looking at Harry, Sirius could tell he wasn't paying full attention. "Perhaps, a wizard of your remarkable talent is above these simplicities?"
Harry snapped his stare back to Sirius and gazed wide-eyed at the man.
"Glad to see your paying attention Potter."
Harry couldn't believe his ears. "You have no idea who you sound like Sirius."
Sirius gave his own wide-eyed look this time, understanding the implications of Harry's statement.
"Listen, it's not that. I've spent the last year teaching other student's these things, that's all." Harry said.
Without a word, Sirius got up and walked back over to the middle of the floor and made a graceful bow to Harry.
"What are you doing?" Harry said.
"Practical application Harry. To the ready." Sirius motioned his wand to the floor and brought it back up in front of his face. Harry just shrugged and returned to his spot on the floor in front of Sirius. He took his position and mimicked Sirius' wand motion to indicate that he was ready. "Begin" Sirius said.
"Expelliarmus" Harry chanted, making sure that he didn't yell this time.
"Protego, Stupefy" Sirius responded.
Harry's spell flashed against Sirius' shield, which masked the red light of the stunning curse shooting away from Sirius. Harry was surprised by it but managed to cast his own protection shield just in time. Harry's delayed reaction gave Sirius enough time to go on the offensive. Sirius sent another barrage of attacking spells. Harry recognized the first two as a Jelly-leg Jinx and another stunning spell so he sidestepped the first and cast protego to block the stunner. However the third one he didn't recognize. He knew that he didn't have enough time dodge the spell and was left to hoped that his remaining shied would block or reduce the spell. When it hit, Harry felt a sharp slice on the skin over his right eye as the cutting curse sliced right through his shield.
Sirius made no indication of letting up. He knew that he had Harry in a bad position and wasn't going to give away any edge. "Incarcerous"
Harry could feel the burning pain building above his eye and knew that there would be blood falling into it at any moment. Then he saw the tinge of the white ropes conjuring from the end of his godfather's wand.
"Incendio" Harry chanted.
The ropes burst into flames before they could reach him. But more spells were quick to follow. Harry dodged to the right and rolled on the floor hoping to get away from both spells with one movement. He put up another protection shield before he even got back to his feet. He knew that he would have to do something to turn this around, or else Sirius was going to continue breaking him down with spells he didn't know. He looked behind Sirius and saw the suit of armor standing in front of the pillar. "Accio Helmet"
Sirius had cast a leg locking jinx and a blinding curse hoping that a high-low attack would throw the boy off. When he saw Harry throw his body completely out of the way of both spells and renew his protection spell in almost one motion he almost took pause at the impressiveness of it. He cast a hand-switching spell against Harry knowing that the protego shield wouldn't stop it. But just as he saw the confused look on Harry's face when the spell hit, he was knocked to the floor from the strike of something really hard against the back of his head.
As Harry regained his bearings while he stood up from the floor he saw a flash of white light coming at him and then felt an odd tingling sensation in his wrists and hands. It felt awkward, but he couldn't sense any hindering effects from the spell. He did notice however, that Sirius was doubled over holding the back of his head, a helmet on the floor next to him. Harry seized his opportunity and motioned to disarm his stumbled opponent.
The world was swimming and Sirius struggled to maintain his balance as he reoriented himself. "What the hell was that?" He thought to himself. He then saw a spell flash against the floor next to him, and then another to his other side.
Harry watched as his disarming spell shot errantly to the right of Sirius, and then his stunner to the left. He struggled to concentrate as blood was trickling into his eye. His wand felt awkward and his inability to focus his sight properly was making him anxious. Sirius was beginning to recover and he knew that the duel would be over once Sirius was able to cast another spell. He grasped his wand with both hands and sent another desperate stunner at godfather.
Sirius smiled despite the numbing pain that filled his head. He knew that the hand-switching spell had worked and Harry was going to get frustrated with his poor aim. Just as his double vision was coming together he saw the flash of a bright red spell explode at his feet. The force of it only succeeded in jostling him upright, but the intensity of the flash blinded him. Desperately he summoned for Harry's wand.
Harry watched as his last spell fell harmlessly at Sirius' feet. He could barely focus any longer due to the blood that was stinging his right eye. As he reached with his sleeve to clear his eye he felt his wand fly out of his hand. Time slowed while he watched as his wand flew through the air, hit Sirius square in the forehead, and fall to the floor.
"Good job Harry, much better this time round, though I guess you still have a bit to learn." Sirius said.
Harry was still puzzled by the fact that his wand had hit Sirius in the forehead and was still lying on the floor. He was further confused by the fact that Sirius was now talking to him as though he were on the other side of the room. "Er I'm over here Sirius."
Adjusting so that he was facing the source of Harry's voice Sirius said, "Course you are, I see that hand-switching spell had you stumped." He turned his head down and began to feel around on the floor for the wand that he knew was there – somewhere.
Harry laughed a bit as he wiped more blood from his eye. "To your right a bit."
Sirius stopped feeling the floor and laughed too as he realized his bluff had been called. "Seeing a bit of red at the moment, flash from your stunner was a bit of shock to the mince pies. Hate to think what it would have felt like to get hit by that one."
"Call it a draw then?" Harry said.
"Draw? I've got your wand. I would call that a victory for me." Sirius said as he finally felt Harry's wand.
"Too bad you can't see your victory huh?" Harry retorted. "How 'bout I call it a draw, and you give me a foot of parchment in Braille about why I'm wrong."
"Arse" was all Sirius said in response.
Harry walked over to Sirius and grabbed his wand out of his godfather's hand, "Why don't we take a break while you regain your sight?"
"My sight's fine, just give a me second!"
"Right, well how about I take a break and you join me while I stop this bleeding over my eye."
"Weren't expecting that cutting curse were you? Hands feel a little awkward too don't they?"
Harry led Sirius by the arm over to the table in front of the bookcases. "What were those spells anyway? The point of the cutting curse is obvious, but I can't figure out why I couldn't hit you when you were dazed from that helmet crashing into your head."
Sirius rubbed the back of his head as he sat down at the table. "Hand switching curse, it's primarily used by healers when someone has to wait for their dominant hand to heal. Allows the patient to be able to write and other such things because it shifts hand dominance around. And, it isn't stopped by a protego shield."
"That's useful, though next time I'll know to just switch hands." Harry said.
"That helmet trick of yours wasn't to bad either, nice work. Although I doubt you took the time to consider whether or not it would actually hit me or go right through me in here. It was nothing more than dumb luck for you that the objects in here are part memory too." The red wall in Sirius' eyes was starting to fade. "So tell me about things on the outside. How's everyone holding up?"
Harry felt a sharp pain in his heart. For so many reasons he didn't want to get into this. The fact that Sirius wouldn't remember the conversation wasn't the least of them. He didn't want to think about all the burdens that waited for him. He didn't want to think about his friends and all the worry and secrets.
"Things are fine." He lied.
Sirius raised an eyebrow and looked right at Harry, "That sounded convincing. What's the matter are the muggles not treating you right? You're still with them right?"
"The muggles are fine. Moody gave them a couple of threats at Kings Cross and they've basically ignored me since."
"So then what is it?" Sirius pressed on.
"Nothing, I'm fine!" He thought about just leaving the pensieve before Sirius could press on. But he couldn't bring himself to disrespect his godfather like that, regardless if he would remember it or not.
"Doesn't sound like it to me. You know if there is something bothering you I'm here for you." Sirius said.
"What!" Harry had a look of disgust on his face.
"I said if something is bothering you I'm here for you."
"How could you say that? How could you say that to me? You're not here for me."
"I didn't think you'd take it literally, I just meant I can be a listening ear, someone to talk to."
"That's just it, you didn't think! Just like you didn't think when you followed me to platform 9 ¾ last year, or when you sent Kreacher out of your house at Christmas, or when you came to the ministry and got…" He couldn't bring himself to say the rest of it. The understanding that he had to live in this painful world filled his mind again. His eyes started to burn again, but he refused to shed any more tears, it required too much effort.
"I'm sorry Harry. I always did what I did because I cared about you. But I don't regret my decisions, even if I don't know exactly what you're talking about. Sirius' eyesight had returned enough to see the burdened look on Harry's face. "But I'll remind you of what I said in my will to you, whatever your problems, you can't face them all on your own. People care about you and want to help. You have to let them."
"How can you help me if you can't even remember the conversation we had last night? You're just a memory." He looked into Sirius' eyes hoping the man would register the weight of that comment. He saw the hurt he caused, but there wasn't the recognition he was hopelessly searching for.
"I wanted this to help you Harry, I guess I was wrong. Your father used to talk about everything that he was going to teach you, all the potential he knew you had. Lily always scolded him saying that you would be allowed to find your own path. I just thought…" Sirius winced at the word, "…felt that with me being your godfather, I should ensure that you had the opportunity for these lessons to be passed down to you. I guess I didn't consider all of the consequences."
Harry softened a bit as he always did when he was told something about his parents. It gave him a moment to consider all that Sirius had done for him, all the hope he felt when Sirius came into his life. Now his heart was weighed with guilt too. "You're not just a memory Sirius. I told you that last night and I didn't mean it just now."
"I am kid, and you're going to have to deal with that in your own way. Though I hope you'll talk to someone about it. I can tell just by looking at you that the burden of holding this stuff in is killing you."
"It's going to have to get in line then." Harry said flatly. "It starts with Voldemort and goes from there."
"Has Voldemort made another attack on you?" Sirius was urgent as he asked the question.
"No, he can't touch me while I'm at the Dursley's." Harry said.
"Well then how do you know that he's going to kill you, we always thought that once he had reestablished his power, he would go back to killing muggles and trying to overthrow the ministry. The attacks against you were only thought to be a ploy to show that he was stronger now."
Harry thought it was ironic that he was finally being told the inner thinking of the Order now that his godfather was dead. "The prophecy says that he has to kill me."
"What? No, the prophecy only said that…"
"either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives." Harry forcefully cut short Sirius' ramblings. "The full prophecy Sirius, the weapon Voldemort was after, was the knowledge he thought was in there to destroy me."
The image of Sirius paled several shades. He opened his mouth but no words came out. He shook his head back and forth slowly at first, and then with more conviction as his mind wrapped around this information.
"It's true Sirius. The night after you…I was sent to Dumbledore's office and he told me about the prophecy, he told me about why it was important that I learned Occlumency, even why he made me learn it from Snape."
"The night after I what? You had to learn Occlumency because of your scar Harry, because we thought Voldemort would possess you." Sirius said.
That was it, Harry was sure he was going to get up and leave. He had gone too far, said too much, and it was pointless to tell someone who wouldn't remember anyway. He wasn't going to talk to his godfather's memory about the night that he died, about the prophecy or his failure to learn Occlumency.
"I have to go Sirius, I'm sorry."
"Go? You can't go, you have to finish telling me this."
"Why do I have to finish telling you this? Harry stood up so violently his chair flew several feet behind him. "This isn't real! You're not going to remember! Why should I have to suffer telling you about how you died so that you can have your curiosity satisfied? No, I do have to go. I don't need this on my conscience as well."
"Are you coming back?" Sirius said.
The question was so unexpected. "I don't know Sirius, I can't think about that right now."
"Well, if this is the last time we're going to meet in here, please just tell me the prophecy. I know there are no future ramifications for me, but I can't let you leave like this, without seeing this through. If this is the last time you're going to be here, than please just fulfill this last request. Don't worry about telling me how I died, it's not important."
Without looking at Sirius, Harry told him the prophecy. But he didn't stop there, the floodgates that Harry was so mightily guarding poured open. He told him about how Dumbledore blamed himself for Sirius' death, how Voldemort had used his love for Sirius to trick him to going to the Department of Mysteries, how everyone was hurt because he refused to practice his Occlumency.
"What are you going to do about it Harry?" Sirius asked.
"I don't know, I just don't want anyone else I love hurt. That's all that matters to me." Harry turned to away from Sirius to leave.
"One more thing before you go Harry. I'm not going to show you pity, I know you would hate that, so please just hear me out."
Harry turned back around to face Sirius. Letting everything out had surprisingly lightened the burden he felt. But it was fleeting because he recognized that now that he'd finally let it out he could not also have the relief that came with someone else knowing. "I don't want to hear it if you're going to tell me about obligation or love, or use memories of my parents to distract me."
The directness of the statement stung Sirius, but he didn't let it respond on his face. "Nothing like that, I just wonder if you understand what this means to…the leverage you hold."
"Leverage? Leverage to do what, surely I haven't much leverage if I can't even manage to keep from being imprisoned at the Dursley's."
"Well now that you know the prophecy you know that they need you. If it is true that you are the only one that can stop Voldemort, then that puts you in a particularly important position. One that holds a certain amount of leverage to change things."
"Why are you telling me this, what is it that I can do to change things? I wouldn't know what to change even if I could." Harry said.
"BECAUSE I'M EFFING PISSED OFF THAT'S WHY I'M TELLING YOU! They treated you like a child! They guarded you and told you to just go to school and be a good boy! That old man ignored you for a year because he was too afraid of showing his cards! He's a hypocrite! So much so, that he let that BITCH Umbridge and the ministry turn everything that was good about Hogwarts to pure shite!"
The paled look Sirius once held was gone. The rage emanating from the man made Vernon Dursley's temper sound like a peep in a crowded room. He slammed his fist on the table and kicked the chair so hard it fell to pieces. Harry feared that the man was going to start cursing everything in sight, including his godson. Sirius walked over to the bookcases and muttered obvious profanities to himself. Then he turned and stared straight at Harry.
Through clinched teeth Sirius said, "Because they expect you to bear the weight of the world, but are too proud to give you the proper respect that position deserves! I'm ashamed I ever stood for it."
"Sirius I…"
"Shut up! Listen to me Harry, I give Trelawny about as much creed as a flaming pile of shit. But if the prophecy is true then you have to understand this is your fight. You can't do it alone, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let you stand by and be cast to face the devil on someone else's terms!"
Harry stared at his godfather with a mixture of fear and reverence. He wasn't sure if he wanted to thank the man or run from him. He could see that Sirius was still in a fervor and wasn't ready to interrupt.
"Do you understand what I'm telling you Harry? This is your fight, your life, and only can choose how you're going to face it. Do not let that choice be made for you. You've faced Voldemort more times than anyone in the Order except Dumbledore. Before Voldemort visited you as a baby we were losing the fight against him. You were the only thing that stopped him then, and now it seems that you are the only one who can stop him again. That's leverage – now it's time for you to start forcing change."
"But I don't know what to change, I hardly know what's wrong, what is considered acceptable and unacceptable in the wizarding world. I did spend the first eleven years of my life locked in the cupboard underneath the stairs." Harry argued.
"You do know. You came to Grimmauld place last year so riled up you had your friends scattering for cover. Apparently there were some things you wanted changed." Sirius said.
"That hardly seems important now. I'm not going to throw around the fact that I'm marked for death so that I can have a better summer break."
"You have to start somewhere."
The man cringed angrily once more and then the emotion released from his face. He took out his wand and repaired the broken chair. Taking in a heavy breath he sat back down at the table.
"You have a good heart Harry, maybe the purest I've ever seen. You've faced about every terror a young man could face and still haven't been tainted with malice or hate. That's why I wanted to explain to you the power you hold. I know you won't abuse it, but I also know you aren't ambitious enough to realize these things on your own. If you think things through, think them through thoroughly, and follow your heart you can do more good in this world besides killing Voldemort."
"I'm going to go Sirius. I have a lot to think about and I need to do it on my own. I'm sorry that I yelled at you earlier." Harry turned from his godfather and pulled out of pensieve.
"Good bye kid." Sirius said.
AN: Well another chapter done. Thank you so much to all who have reviewed, new steps to the happy dance have evolved as a result (if you need a mental image think of Chandler's happy dance in the TV show Friends)! Hopefully the paced picked up as I got to write some action and dueling in this chapter, particular favorites of mine. Next chapter Harry gets to thinking about Sirius words and starts putting some plans into action. Look forward to all your thoughts and criticisms.
A special thanks to I Can See Thestrals. I am honored and appreciate your praises.