Chapter 6: How to Argue with a Werewolf

Harry found himself again in that empty space in his mind where time and direction seemed to be lacking.  He wasn't sure when he finished dinner or how he got back to his room. For that matter he couldn't even recall when he'd fallen asleep last night.  But now he was sitting up in bed trying to figure out how to stop the irritating noise coming from his door. 

"Get up Cousin, or I'm going to use you as a punching bag for warm ups!"  Dudley said.  "Come on!  It's 7:45 already, you've missed your chance to eat and your not going to screw up my workout."  Dudley tugged on his cousin to stop him from falling back into the mattress. 

"Fine, I'll be out in five minutes, just give me a second to figure out how I'm going to thump you this morning for waking me up."  Harry said. 

"Right Harry, like you could get a blow in on me, I am still the Inter-School Heavyweight Boxing Champion you know."  Dudley assumed the puffed out chest position he had adapted especially for this often repeated announcement. 

The stout young boxing champion was struck with a pillow, "Ermph! If I hear that one more time I'm going to give you another tail, school expulsion or not!"  Harry whined. Dudley threw the pillow back at his groggy cousin and shut the door behind him. 

The morning workout had been an intense one.  Harry was happy to see that his lungs weren't tiring out so fast, the result was that he was able to keep Dudley on his toes for a little longer than usual.  After some weights and an unusually large breakfast Harry headed back upstairs to think about all the things he wasn't going to be able to get done again today. 

Every time he looked to the window he felt a yearning to stare at the world outside until he found the beauty he had seen the night before.  But the uncertainty of what it was, and what affect it might be having on him kept his eyes averted, spare a few quick glances. 

It had been six day's since Harry had spoken with Tonks and he was beginning to wonder if Lupin was all right.  Maybe Tonks had forgotten to tell him, maybe he had a particularly hard transformation and was not well. What if something happened?  It was the first time in while that Harry thought about the dangers in world around him.  He had almost forgotten about Death Eaters and Voldemort. Panic struck him as he started wandering if there had been an attack, many attacks even, that he had ignored.  

The estrangement he felt was instantly painful, he started questioning why Ginny, Hermione, or Ron hadn't written him back yet.  They would have told him if something happened right?  Surely, after the events of last summer, they wouldn't risk keeping him in the dark again.  But maybe they didn't want to bother him with more bad news knowing that he would be grieving over his godfather. Maybe something had happened to them too. His mind was racing through the possibilities, and he couldn't hold onto one thought long enough without another replacing it. 

Before he knew it he was racing downstairs and heading to the front door.  As he swung the door open and planted a foot to sprint outside a figure stood in the way. Harry nearly ran through him.  Startled by the unexpected presence, he fumbled backwards and struggled to regain his lost balance. 

When he recovered he saw his former professor, Remus Lupin run into the house, and quickly brandish his wand.  "What is wrong Harry?  Who are you running from?"

Harry relaxed as recognition settled over him.  "Nothing is wrong Professor, why do you have your wand out?" 

"You were running out of the house in such a hurry, your lip is bleeding and you have a bruise on your cheek.  I assumed that somebody was attacking you and you were trying to escape."  Remus was still speaking quickly. 

Harry put his hand to his mouth and sure enough his lip was bleeding.  He sucked on the coppery tasting injury and made a mental note to return the favor to Dudley during their next spar.  "Sorry I startled you Professor.  I just had a rather sudden reality check, and I was afraid that you or others might be hurt. I was going to find out" 

Lupin's expression didn't ease any when he heard this, "What sort of reality check, did you have another vision?  Who did you see?  Are they hurt?"  

Harry was becoming nervous that he indeed had been ignorant to the perils in the world around him. If the usually calm professor was so worked up there must be cause to worry.  "I-I didn't have any visions or dreams.  It had just been so long since I talked to Tonks and I still hadn't heard from you. I was scared that something was wrong, that something happened and nobody was telling me.  Is there something wrong? I mean, have there been a lot of attacks?" 

Finally, the rough looking man seemed to calm a bit. He put his wand away and gave an unreadable look at Harry.  "I'm sorry I took so long. I needed…some time."  He looked away from the young man.  "There haven't been any attacks, yet." 

Harry could sense a tension that was only mildly relieved by Lupin's last statement.  Why did he need time to talk to Harry? "Would you like to come in professor, my cousin's the only one here and I don't think he'll mind." 

"Why is your lip bleeding, and I see now that you have several bruises on your face, what is the cause of it?" Lupin asked though it didn't sound like a question. 

"Dudley did that, though I didn't think the blow was that hard this morning when it got through my arms." 

Before Harry could even start his next sentence he saw the primal rage flare up in Lupin's eyes. 

"Relax Professor, Dudley is teaching me how to box, and we're training together.  He's gotten his fare share of licks as well." Harry said smiling.  "Why don't we head up to my room, we shouldn't be interrupted there." 

The two men walked up the staircase and into Harry's room.  Harry was thinking about all that he wanted to discuss with Lupin when he noticed that the man was staring intently at something across the room.  He followed the man's eyes until he spotted Sirius' pensieve sitting on his nightstand. Lupin's eyes grew big and then squinted with a touch of confusion. 

"Actually, that was what I wanted to talk to you about professor, if you have some time."  Harry said.

"Remus, please call me Remus. I am not your professor any longer and I would prefer that you not refer to me as such."  Remus was still staring at the pensieve when he spoke to Harry.  He knew that his voice had been curt, but he couldn't help it.  "Before we go on Harry I need to talk to you first."  

Harry was unsettled by Lupin's tone, he felt like he did something wrong and was trying to figure out what when he heard the man's hard voice again. "Could we please sit down?"  Harry complied immediately.  Remus removed his gaze from the pensieve and sat down next to Harry. 

"I owe you an apology Harry." His tone did not suggest that he was apologetic at all.  "I did not mean to take so long to get in touch with you, and seeing the state you were in when I arrived only confirmed that I had taken too long. I'm sorry for any undue concern I caused you, it has only struck me as I saw you this morning that you could be so worried about me." 

The coldness of Lupin's voice was making Harry very sad, and somewhat afraid. 

Lupin rubbed his eyes and lowered his head. It felt like he was having to force every word from his body and the difficulty of it was angering him.

"I haven't been in much of a mood to talk to anybody since the night at the Ministry.  That fact, in addition to the difficulties involved with having a recent transformation have made it very difficult for me to come here.  I am sure that you are having a hard time with this situation, and I wish that I could be here to help you through it, but I am afraid that I cannot be that person. I have made the mistake of spending a bit too much time alone pondering my own thoughts, answering my own questions for other people instead of letting those people speak for themselves." 

Harry felt a twinge of regret. He hadn't considered how great an impact Sirius death would have on the last Marauder.  Now that he considered it, he felt immensely guilty for forcing the man to have to face the only living person that was a burning reminder of the life taken away from him.  "I'm sorry Remus, I didn't think…"

"PLEASE – do not interrupt me, I have to say this and get it out of the way. Harry, what happened to Sirius was not your fault…it was not my fault either."

Lupin sounded like he didn't believe his own words, unfortunately Harry couldn't figure out which words Lupin didn't believe. 

"There are a lot of things that contributed to what happened to him, least of which is his own compulsiveness.  The situation is unfair, I know that more than anyone else.  But we have to go on and figuring out where the blame lies is not going to change anything or right any wrongs."  Lupin finally looked up at Harry and then down again into his lap.  "He would want you to move on."

Harry was pretty sure that Lupin was finished with what he had to say.  The problem was that after he heard what was said, he couldn't possibly talk to the man about what he called him here for. Even more, the stark depression of the man reminded Harry of the state he had been in and now his own dark emotions were trying to pull him down. 

"Profes…Remus, I understand what you're feeling."  Harry said tentatively. 

"You understand nothing! I knew you would be so pompous to say that!  You know nothing about having to suffer with my disease; about finally finding people who accepted me regardless of that; who would suffer through all of the transformations with me, who learned to become animagus just to help me cope.  You know nothing about gaining that sort of friendship, and then losing it, and being betrayed by it, and then gaining it back again only to realize that you were the one who betrayed it.  He forgave me even though I abandoned him, he stayed with me during my transformations just like old times, and he is gone.  I am alone. You know nothing child! Don't presume that you do." 

At first Harry was scared by the man's sudden outburst, and then as Lupin continued on Harry felt morbidly sad, but that emotion washed away from him with every spiteful word that the werewolf spat about loss.  Seven days he spent thinking about everything in his life, trying to see all the angles and make all the considerations. Trying to figure out what change meant to him, what friendship and loyalty were. About all the risks he was taking.  But in the course of thirty seconds that it took for Lupin to scream at him about his loss, all consideration for thinking things threw was long gone. 

"Who in the hell do you think you are to tell me about loss werewolf?  You're affliction only comes to you once a month. Women around the world have been dealing with a dose of monthly hormones for years and not crying like you about it. You're life is so bad huh, can your parents tell you about it?  Mine can't, never had the chance did they!  Can you walk into, I don't know say anyplace, and not have to worry about being attacked by a mob that either worships you for something you never did, thinks your insane, or is trying to kill you!  Not to mention the excellent retreat I get every night when I sleep, oh wait, there's a dark lord in my head who likes to give me visions of my friends dying or him torturing people!" 

Remus jumped up in rage and let out a primal roar.  Remarkably Harry didn't flinch. 

"SIT DOWN!" Suddenly, a glass of water on Harry's desk across the room exploded.  "You had your turn to yell and now you will listen to mine!" 

Remus was so startled that his carnal roar hadn't even fazed the boy that he did sit down. 

"Everyday until I was eleven I had to listen to the only things I knew as parents call me a freak and my parents the same, now that I know differently, I am forced back to them every year to suffer some more!  Oh and here's where it gets fun.  Two year's ago I watch as a dark lord cooks himself back to life in a cauldron, using my blood no less, then he kills a friend right in front of me!  But you know what, the rest of that I can deal with, life sucks, but I deal.  But after 13 years of believing I had no connection to my parents into my life walks my godfather.  This guy is my dad's best friend, a person who will love me as family and not as the bloody 'boy-who-lived', someone whom I belong with.  And then I go and get him killed!  So if you want to get into a spitting match over who's suffered more, you better find someone else cause your out of your league here!" 

Harry was trembling with anger, he felt the sting of tears behind his eyes and it only made him angrier.  He was resolved not to cry, not to fall back into that pit of depression that had consumed him for so long.  He had never said those things to anyone.  He had even repressed himself from thinking them because he didn't think he deserved to feel bad for himself.  Now it was getting harder to accept that he had just said all of those things and harder to deny that he didn't believe them. 

Lupin sat there pale on the end of the bed unable to form a thought.  There were a couple times during Harry's tirade that he had thought of just the thing to retort the boy's comments.  But now that it was over everything he wanted to say didn't seem appropriate anymore.  The two of them just sat there unsure exactly how the were going to move on after that scene.  So many unspoken barriers had fallen that they both felt uncomfortable being themselves in the company of the other. 

Finally Lupin said the only thought that kept coming to his mind as remotely acceptable, "You didn't get Sirius killed Harry." 

"Well goody for that, if I can take that off my list I only have about a hundred other things!  Should I feel better now?" 

The room went quiet again. Apparently Harry hadn't quite calmed down yet.  After another long stint of silence Lupin looked back over at the boy.  There was still an angered glare on Harry's face, but his eyes looked empty. 

"I don't think you fully understood my earlier statement Harry.  You didn't get Sirius killed, but you were used to help facilitate the situation that led to it." 

The look of hate wiped off Harry's face but his voice was still curt, "You're doing a bang up job of trying to make things better." 

Lupin bit back his temper, he was the adult here and he felt like he had to right the situation.  "I told you earlier that blame wouldn't change anything or make anything right. However, understanding what part you are responsible for, what part you played in the situation, can help you avoid the same mistakes in the future." 

"What do you mean Lupin?"  Harry said.

Remus clinched his fists together when Harry spat his best Snapelike impression of the man's last name.  "To be honest with you Harry, I do believe that you are the least to blame.  It is true you were the catalyst, but the fact that this is so is not entirely your fault.  Voldemort used you. He used a particular strength in his magic against a weakness in your magic, and worse he exploited the fact that you loved Sirius." 

The coldness in Harry's voice was gone, "But I didn't practice my occlumency, if I had practiced, if I had done as Snape told me then it might never have happened." 

"That was another thing that was not your fault, Dumbledore made a great mistake by letting that man teach you Occlumency, you probably would have faired better reading from a book. And Snape failed you by refusing to teach you any longer." 

"I looked into his pensieve, I couldn't keep my nose out of things that were not my business." Harry argued. 

"His pride should not have conflicted with the task at hand.  As terrible as it is to admit, we could have lost considerably more due to his refusal, and due to Dumbledore's mistake." 

"Remus…why do you think you're to blame?"  Harry said this with trepidation. 

"I just watched him duel with Lestrange, I could have jumped in and helped."  Remus said.

"You had just barely finished dueling yourself when he fell, not to mention the prophecy broke and distracted almost everyone else in the room except Sirius and Lestrange" Harry retorted. 

"He was telling me all year that he couldn't stay cooped up in that house, that he was going to get out because he was going mad. I didn't do anything to help or stop him, I basically just ignored him. I let him stir in that house with nothing to do" Lupin was staring down at his lap. 

For the first time since he saw Remus today, Harry smiled. Lupin caught the expression out of the corner of his eye and was shocked and a little hurt. 

"Professor Lupin, it was partly Dumbledore's fault as well that he was locked up in that place.  But that's not important, he knew why he was there, and as frustrating as it was for him, he was grateful for it.  And I promise you he found plenty of things to do with his time." 

Lupin looked up at the young man with confusion. The words would have brought consolation if it were possible for the boy to actually know those things, but he knew that it wasn't possible. 

"What are you talking about Harry, how do you know that anything your saying is true?" Remus said. 

"It's what I asked you to come here for in the first place – well in a roundabout way.  I know what I said is true because Sirius told me so.  Though with the state that you are in now, I don't know that I can talk to you about what he said to me, and what I need done as a result.  It wouldn't be right and you would be even angrier at the request." 

"Your talking in riddles, don't go all Dumbledore on me now I haven't the patience."  Remus said. 

Harry took a side-glance over to the pensieve and considered for a moment whether he was willing to share his godfather's gift to him with anyone.  The words and the pain behind Remus' earlier tirade replayed in his mind and he understood immediately the depression that his godfather's friend was suffering.  It was the same as what he had suffered only a week or two ago. 

"I need to show you something, and I need you to hear me out before you say no."  Harry said.

Remus noticed that Harry had looked over to the pensieve and was not sure that he wanted to agree, but the fact that Harry knew something about Sirius' thinking was too important to the man. 

"Fine."  Remus said. 

Harry smiled and went over to the pensieve on the nightstand.  "I know that you are going to try to say no to what I am about to propose but I promise you this will help more than you can imagine.  Sirius sent this to me a little over a week ago, it is his 'unofficial' last will and testament.  But he has quite a bit to say.  And then quite a bit more to say when you think he is done.  He mentioned in his letter and in the pensieve how excited he was about this, that it was his best idea as a Marauder." 

Remus smiled a bit when Harry mentioned Sirius talking about being a Marauder. 

"I know that you are reluctant about seeing Sirius in this pensieve, but if it gives you resolve the memory is addressed to me and is not just a captured thought of something more general.  I'm not sure if it will work the same for you, but if you agree to look in here, you need to know that you must show your gratitude or affection to him when he's done talking." 

Remus thought on Harry's words for a while.  "Will I be able to leave the pensieve whenever I want to?"  Remus said.

"Yes. But be sure to tell him your thoughts before you leave" Harry hoped that his vague hints would be enough. 

"Fine I will look into the pensieve."  Remus said. 

"Excellent, I know that you need this now as much as I needed it when I looked in."  Harry put the pensieve back on the nightstand and started arranging his pillows so that Remus could look into the pensieve while still leaning his body comfortably against the headboard. 

"What are you doing Harry?" 

"It's likely that you're going to be in there for awhile, if you don't arrange yourself properly before-hand you come out really sore."  Harry said. 

"You said I could leave anytime I wanted to."  Remus said. 

"You can, I just don't think you want to leave for awhile."  Harry smiled as he thought about the surprise that both pensieve Sirius and Remus were going to have when the met.  "Ok, you're all set, in you go." 

Remus sat down on the bed and looked apprehensively at the swirling fluid below his nose. 

"Before you go in Remus, I'm sorry for yelling at you I didn't really mean all those things I said." 

"Yes you did, and you were right to yell at me, I deserved it."  Remus replied. 

"Maybe, but I can't forgive myself for calling you werewolf, I shouldn't have said that, I just wasn't thinking."  Harry said.

"Don't worry Harry, your father and Sirius have called me that a couple times when they were angry too, and for less justified reasons I might add." The man smiled as Harry accepted his forgiveness, and then plunged his nose down into the pensieve. 

Harry felt strange watching the motionless body of Remus Lupin with his nose in a pensieve.  After all the conflict and yelling Harry thought that he would be depressed or maybe still angry.  Oddly, he felt relieved. 

He looked over at the man in the pensieve and thought he saw the body shake.  He couldn't tell if it was from laughter or cry, but he didn't like being in the room with Remus like that.  It felt like he was prying into a conversation he wasn't invited to. 

He left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him as he did so, and headed down to the kitchen to grab some lunch.  When he saw Dudley sitting at the kitchen table white as a ghost he ran over to see what happened. 

"Dud? Dudley! What is the matter man? Did something come in here and hurt you."

The frightened boy looked up at Harry and a flash of recognition came over his face.  "I-I-I heard a r-r-roar come f-from your bedroom. Thought you w-were d-d-dead." 

Harry released the tension from his body, as he understood what happened to his cousin.  "It's ok Dud, the sound came from a friend of mine Remus Lupin, he's a werewolf that's why you heard the roar, we were arguing." 

"Werewolf!" Dudley screamed "Friend of yours?  Why!" 

"Relax Dudley," the boy had returned to his unnatural shade of white again, "he only transforms during the full moon, and that passed over four days ago.  He has almost a whole month before he changes again.  He's also a wizard, and was a friend of my parents. If anything we're safer with him here." 

Dudley regained a little blood in his face at hearing this.  He stood up and said, "Well if it's all the same, I think I'll go to my room." The boy didn't wait for an answer as he hurried up the stairs and into his room. 

Harry had to laugh to himself.  As the true colors of the cousin he once hated managed to shine through if only for a moment.  "Always a Dursley I guess."  Harry said aloud to himself. 

He went to the fridge to gather up some lunch for himself, but when he turned around he saw Pig darting back and forth around the living room and kitchen.  Harry managed to corral the skittish owl into a corner and wrestle the letter from him The owl scurried away but before it left it landed on the kitchen table and took a of piece meat from the sandwich Harry had been making.  "Get out of here you ruddy owl!"  Harry screamed after the bird. 

Harry went back into the kitchen to finish making his sandwich. He sat down with his lunch and opened the first of the two letters. 

Hey Harry,

Good to hear from ya mate! We were getting a bit worried, but figured you needed some time.

There hasn't been a lot going on here at the Burrow but I've been able to get a lot of Quiddich practice in during the free time.  The scars I got from that Brain thing made it uncomfortable to ride for a while, but it's getting better.  Hopefully, with the extra practice I'll be better than ever for the season.  Been putting together some wicked strategies for the team too, can't wait for you to look at them. I wonder who McGonagall will make captain.

Mom and Dad have been in and out almost all summer back and forth to Snuffles' place. 

Ginny's been in a right state since we got back.  Been trying to get me and the twins to break you out from the muggles again. She nagged me to death to write you back so that she could send her letter too.  Bit annoying actually. 

I have no idea when Dumbledore's letting you out of there, hopefully soon so you can tell me what this news of yours is.  If you're eating with the muggles then the situation must be worst than you're letting on – have you gone nutters?  I've only seen Dumbledore once this summer and he was with dad at the time, so I couldn't get any news out of him.  Don't get into trouble without me. 

And please write Ginny back soon, I don't know if I can stand her like this for much longer. 

Your best mate,

Ron Weasley

Harry set down Ron's letter, he was a little jealous that Ron was still able to play Quiddich and was telling Harry about it. But he just shrugged it off as Ron being himself.  He looked to the next letter that he now knew was Ginny's.  He was curious why she had been so worried about him, so much so that it would cause Ron to tell him about it. 

Harry,

I'm so glad that you decided to let Hedwig come back.  I wanted to write you much sooner, but Mum said that if you had sent your owl away you probably wouldn't want to any post. 

I don't know when Dumbledore is going to let you get away from the muggles, but I made mum tell him that you could come here as soon as it was possible.  At least they're ignoring you and not making things any worse. 

Harry, I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything.  You know that I am the only one who has had to deal with Riddle in my head, and I want to be there for you when you need someone. I know you are blaming yourself for what happened to Snuffles.  I did the same thing for a very long time after I opened the Chamber of Secrets.  Please believe me Harry when I tell you it's not your fault, the things that Riddle showed me were terrible and I did things that I didn't want to do either.  I'm here for you, please write to me if you need someone to listen. 

I hope that we can see each other soon.  I would very much like to hear the news that you have to discuss.  There's nothing going on around here, at least we don't know anything.  If something happens I will let you know right away, I don't care what Dumbledore or my parents have to say about it. 

I hope it's all right.  I wrote a letter to McGonagall protesting your life-long ban from Quiddich.  The Gryffindor team isn't the same without you.

Love,

Ginny

Harry read the letter again to make sure that he understood everything correctly.  He wasn't sure where all that had come from.  Why was she so concerned?  Of course she had spoke to him last year about being possessed by Riddle.  Maybe she did understand a little what he felt like.  And she had written McGonagall about his quiddich ban – but she was seeker now. The gesture gave Harry a tinge of hope that he might be able to play again but felt bad that Ginny would sacrifice her position for him.  What struck him most was that she was going to write him with information even if it was against Dumbledore's wishes.  He remembered that Ron and Hermione had not been willing to do the same last year. 

It was several hours later when Harry heard the sound of Remus moving around in his room.  He wasn't sure if he should head up there straight away, but was so bored from waiting that he couldn't stay away any longer.  When he got to his room he saw Remus stretching and wiping away tears from his eyes.  He was concerned that the man was upset, and that he had interrupted something but then he saw the big smile on Lupin's face. 

"ehah…hey Harry!" Remus said as he finished another soft laugh, "Guess you were right about being in there for a long time, my neck is killing me."  The man rubbed his neck as he stretched again and then sat down on the edge of Harry's bed. 

"So I take it you said the magic words." Harry said. 

"Yeah, the look of shock on his face when he saw me there instead of you was priceless." Remus replied. 

"I'm sure that the look on your face wasn't much different."  Harry said. 

"Ah, Padfoot is too much! He's the only wizard alive that a portrait wouldn't be good enough for."  Remus raised his hands to make the familiar scrolling motion as he said, "Interactive Pensieve! I told him he should have called it a 'Mingling Memory'. 

Harry started laughing himself.  "That's funny, I told him the exact same thing."

This caused Remus to look at Harry for a second.  Harry recognized the look as the same one that Sirius would give him when the man was thinking about James Potter.  "Thank you Harry, you've done more for me today then you will ever know."  

"I could see the pain in your eyes when we were arguing.  It was the same look that I knew I held everyday until I got the pensieve from Sirius.  He helped me through my pain and regret, and I knew that you needed nothing less than the same treatment to get through yours."  Harry said in a matter-of-fact tone. 

Remus now held a different look at Harry.  This was one of recognition that the boy he thought he saw in front of him had grown up so much more than anyone could know.  He was so familiar with pain and suffering that he could diagnose it in other people. 

Harry couldn't take much more of the silent stares and decided to change the subject. "Did he tell you that he wouldn't remember anything you told him the next time you visit?"

"What? No, he didn't mention anything about that. Now that I think about it, I never considered that I would be back in there to find that out." Remus said. 

"He said it had something to do with the enchantments not being able to hold everything he put into the pensieve and hold conversations that were held in there too. It's really quite annoying, depressing actually, if you think about it."  Harry said. 

"He did tell me about his will and the arrangements he made. I had an idea about most of the stuff because I helped set up the arrangements last year for him.  Only in death could he make me take his money, and that bit about SPEW, do you think Hermione is going to take it on?" 

"I think she's going to drive us nuts when she finds out, I fear for the sanity of the elves at Hogwarts when she gets this organization started.  The halls are going to be lined with knitted socks and hats!"  Harry laughed as he imagined the site, "Remus, the will was actually what I called you here about, well mostly that."  

"After a while in the pensieve with Sirius I figured that might be what you wanted to talk about.  I also understand how you could be ready to talk to me about that after now having spoke with Sirius myself.  I don't think it's too soon or disrespectful Harry."  Remus paused, "I take it you want to go to Grimmauld Place right away don't you." 

"No, not exactly."  Harry said.  He almost had to laugh at the expression on Lupin's face after he said this but instead he took a very serious look.  "Remus, I need to tell you some things and I would very much like for you to be able to support me through this.  It will be much harder without you, but I will understand if you choose not to help me." 

Lupin looked at Harry incredulously. "Harry, I know that we yelled at each other before and again I'm sorry.  But you should know that you can come to me for anything."

Harry waited for the man to finish, "I understand that Remus, and my comments have nothing to do with our argument, we both said things we didn't mean. But what I have to tell you is only known by two people and what I am going to suggest is going to put you in a difficult position.  Even worse it will compromise my plans a bit, but I will work around that if you say you can't help me." 

Harry waited for Remus to interrupt but the man just sat giving Harry his full attention. 

"The night after Sirius fell through the veil Dumbledore took me back to his office and told me something about my parent's death and about Voldemort.  What he said changed my life, and was about the only thing worse than having to deal with what happened to Sirius. The reason that Voldemort wanted me to go to the ministry that night was to retrieve a prophecy" 

"We knew this Harry, I have regretted every day since for not telling you about it."  Remus said.

"It doesn't matter now, the prophecy was destroyed and that may have been the only good thing to come out of that evening."  Harry replied.

"Well Voldemort was exposed to the world and several of his Death Eaters are in Azkaban too."  Remus said. 

"I guess that was good too. It helped to strengthen my position and Fudge had to admit he was wrong.  But what is important is that the prophecy was not lost.  Dumbledore was the one who heard it spoken and shared it with me from his own pensieve.  What it said was the worst thing I have ever heard in my life." 

Harry stopped to see check Remus' reaction.

"I am only telling you this so that you will understand my position. It is not because I want or need sympathy.  Sirius said some things to me that have helped me to accept my fate and it is time that I started acting on that." 

Harry repeated the prophecy to Remus, and also told him some of the other things which Dumbledore explained to him on that miserable night.  He didn't put any emotions behind the words he just spoke them as fact.  When he was done, Remus looked as pale as he had when he first arrived at Number 4 Privet Drive earlier that day. 

"It's not fair Harry."  Was all Remus could manage. 

"That's what Sirius said, though he was much angrier when he said it. The point of fair doesn't matter any more. I can choose to remain upset about it, or I can do something.  I'm choosing to do something."  Harry said sternly. 

"But what can you do, Dumbledore…" 

Harry interrupted the man loudly, "Dumbledore will no longer be in control over how I live my life!  If this is my fate, then I should be allowed to choose how I will face it."

"But you need his help…" 

"Remus," Harry interrupted again, "I am well aware of what I need from Dumbledore.  I understand that he has always had what he thought was my best interest at heart. I will always be grateful to him and will inevitably have to ask him for help, but I will no longer accept that he has the final say in how and where I will live my life. Those decisions, like my fate, are my own. What I need from you is to know whether or not Grimmauld Place is officially mine yet." 

"The transfer of ownership was completed a few days after you returned here.  We haven't told you yet because the order still needs to use it as headquarters until further arrangements can be made. We were going to tell you when you got there, but Dumbledore hasn't given us any idea when that will be." 

"That's fine, I'm not concerned about when I will be leaving here. I already know when that will be.  If the order still wants to use Grimmauld Place as Headquarters that is fine as well.  However, I will be sending two house elves there that are going to be working for me.  I would like for the arrangements to be made to allow them entrance to the home, and I insist they be allowed to complete their tasks without being bothered by the order.  I will have them swear to keep the location secret and tell them not to intrude on order business. If the order would like, I will ask them to help out where they're needed as long as it does not bother them from the tasks I have for them. Can you do this for me?" 

Remus was somewhat unsure of how to speak to Harry, he didn't understand how the boy could be worried with house elves and Grimmauld Place considering the weight of the prophecy on him. 

"I don't see why not, though I would like to run it by the order first. I'm sure they will appreciate the extra help and the fact that they can stop looking for a new headquarters." Remus said. 

"Excellent.  I don't suppose that I am allowed visitors here at Privet Drive that are not from the order." Harry said. 

"I assume you're speaking about Hermione and Ron, and the answer to that is I don't know. I would imagine that more than anything it would be up to their parents. I will find out if you'd like."  Remus said. 

"Thank you, I would like that. The last thing is that I need to go to Diagon Alley.  I haven't been in some time and as Sirius would have me understand we all need to take a trip to Gringotts." 

"Yes, I guess you're right Harry, I will speak with the order and figure out when it can be arranged. May I ask when you're planning on leaving here?" 

"Before my birthday, Dudley and I are working on some things that I would like to finish before I leave, and I'm not ready to face everyone yet.  Though I would really like for you to come visit more often if you can.  Sirius' pensieve will always be available to you while you're here."  Harry said this last part hoping that it would coax the man into agreeing. 

Remus smiled, "Harry you don't have to offer the pensieve for me to come and visit you. It makes me happy that you want me around.  I am concerned with whatever these plans are that you're formulating. Care to fill me in about them?"

"I will, but I can't tell you anything until I talk to my friends first.  There are no plans if they choose not to be a part of it."  Harry said.

The fact that your making plans that includes the participation of your friends does little to ease my worry. You all are worse than the Marauders."  Remus said.

"Don't let Fred and George Weasley hear that, they'll be heartbroken."

"I will leave you to it for now.  Just promise that you won't go running off, and won't put yourself knowingly in danger."  Remus said.

"I won't, I have no intentions of leaving this house until I leave for Grimmauld Place. Thank you for helping me." 

They both got up and started walking downstairs for Remus to leave.  As they got to the door Remus looked at Harry and noticed for the first time that the young man stood a few inches taller than him.  He smiled and shook his head. 

"Harry thank you for making me come here today." 

Harry liked the lightened look on his former professor's face and smiled back.  "You can thank me by coming to see me again." 

AN: Hopefully I'll be able to keep this pace up of updating twice a week.  It requires that I basically right or edit every day, and I'm sure that at some point writer's block is going to kick in (or my beta/wife is going to leave me).  I just finished the first draft of Chapter 10 tonight and I can't wait to post it…juicy stuff.  Thanks again for the reviews, they're really motivating.

Ned6991 – Full Pensieve's Year of Rebellion was the last fanfic I was reading before I started writing this. I'm afraid that his ideas will undoubtedly have an affect on my writing (though I hope not so much that it seems I am copying). He is an amazing writer and I know all of us send him our best wishes while he deals with his difficulties.

Alexis-Lee – Definitely going to be a correspondence between the techniques Harry's learning from Dudley and dueling. I expect it to be a big hit in the first DADA class!

ADJ – Neville will definitely be key to the story. I have always liked his character and am most excited about seeing where JK takes him in the last two books.  Luna will be central as well.

Thanks again…please review lots! (I'm like Kevin Smith, a press whore. Only you all are my only press!)