Harry Potter and the Fire of Life

by Omagic

Abandoned. 6th year. Harry's grief and the burden of the prophecy require him to make important decisions about his life. His trusts, where he seeks guidance, and the world around him are brought into question. New magic, mysterious visions and the Fir

8. Lounging Around

Chapter 8:  Lounging Around

Harry examined the Occlumency tome Winky delivered to him from Hermione.  Out of my Head and into Yours: A Guide to Occlumency by Orius Fuerington.  The leather bound book looked old, but the thin pages were crisp and the spine of the book was still stiff.  It obviously hadn't been read that much, if at all, and judging by the tiny print on the thin pages it was easy to figure out why.

Hermione must have kept Winky around for a bit, because a small note was scratched on a torn piece of parchment and placed inside the cover. 

I hope this can help you.  I looked through it a couple of times myself last year in between studying for OWLs, but it's dreadfully hard to understand.  Maybe with some of the practical experience you got with Professor Snape it will make better sense to you. 

Deciding he wasn't up to the task of deciphering the tiny print, Harry threw the book onto his bed and headed down to the living room to see if dinner was ready.  For the first time in many years, Harry watched television with the Dursleys after dinner. It felt awkward, but the aimless time allowed him to reflect on all that occurred that day. He thought about the insecurities he was feeling over setting his plans into action, about what Remus had said to him regarding loss, about whether or not Winky was still wearing Aunt Petunia's paisley dress.  The thoughts generated motivation, and he decided that idle time was to going to be a very rare occurrence in his future. 

The determined wizard was true to his word.  Rather than feeling loss when thoughts of his godfather's death forced their way into his mind, or finding despair when thoughts of the prophecy did the same, Harry channeled them to fuel his resolve. And the fuel was intensely powerful. The days started to fly by and were as productive as they were eventful. 

He continued his training with Dudley, and had convinced his cousin to increase their training to every other day.  The physical activity provided Harry with an essential outlet to clear his mind of frustrations.  Further, he was encouraged by all the improvements he was making with both the boxing and the physical training. 

The young men's sessions were lasting as long as four hours.  They always started tame, but as each workout led to all out sparring their mutual competitive instincts took over.  For once it was possible for Harry to believe that he and Dudley may in fact be related in some way.

Harry was beginning to pick up on his own mistakes as well as notice errors his cousin made.  The spars grew to be more evenly matched as Harry learned to use his height and superior reach to his advantage.  He had developed trigger quick hands that were dangerously efficient due to the overall quickness he carried over from quiddich.  But his strongest development had been in his overall endurance.  Particularly since Dudley's strategy was still to take advantage of this weakness in Harry every time they practiced. The larger, and more importantly, heavier boy wore Harry down by leaning in on him and getting inside his reach. Harry's only counter was to continuously dance around and try to maintain a distance, which was very tiring.  Harry had yet to beat his cousin, but he was sure that the Inter-School Boxing Champion was no longer manhandling him. 

Harry also made significant gains in his strength training.  With all the weight lifting and nutrition advice he was getting from Dudley his physical gains, though subtle in appearance, were substantial in power.

What was even better was that gains Harry was making with Dudley were transferring remarkably well to his lessons with Sirius.  The foot and hand speed developed while boxing were now a staple to Harry's improvements while dueling.  Every time he faced off against his godfather he garnered questions and odd looks for his staggered stance and subtle bouncing. Enduring his godfather's inquiries was well worth it because of the significant advantage it gave him while dueling. The truth was that the new speed and tremendous balance mixed with the unique stance confused Sirius every time they got to duel.  And the fact that he was always in motion made him damn near impossible to hit with a single curse, and most of the time with several curses. 

Harry and Sirius had also spent a good amount of time working in each subject area. To Harry's delight he found a whole new appreciation for both Charms and Transfiguration. Mainly because Sirius had an interesting knack for tying everything back to dueling and taught Harry spells in the two subjects that he'd never seen.  Sirius provided tuition on how to transfigure objects to move and fight, about how to instill a level of will into the objects so that they would carry out specific tasks.  As the lessons progressed Harry learned how to perform several of these transfigurations at the same time.  These lessons were the most exhausting because it required a lot of will power, magical energy, and tremendous focus to maintain the transfigured objects. 

Harry also learned several reflective Transfiguration spells that blocked multiple hexes and dark magic, one of which looked a lot like the shield Voldemort used in his battle against Dumbledore at the ministry.  Sirius explained the benefits of knowing physical attack spells, like the blasting curse, to break most transfigured defenses.  These usually ended up being painful lessons for Harry as he found that his transfiguration work, when done on the fly, was not particularly strong. 

After each session, with the exception of potions, Sirius made Harry duel with him utilizing only the techniques learned from that lesson.  This meant that after Transfiguration lessons, duels were limited to fighting and defending almost entirely with that type of magic.

By far Harry's favorite instruction was in charms.  Sirius knew a great deal about how to charm objects, which made sense being that the Marauders had been performing advanced levels of the magic since their school days.  Harry learned how to quickly perform several shielding and attacking charms, and also learned the benefit of utilizing an intelligent transfiguration and combining it with a banishing charm.

The combination charms and transfiguration duels were always the ones that Harry lost the worst at.  Regardless of what clever transfiguration he placed on an object in the room, Sirius always overcame it because he was able to control more objects at once then Harry.  Sirius assured his godson that this would change as he became more comfortable with the magic, eventually it would require less focus for him to maintain multiple transfigurations.  Nonetheless, Harry never grew discouraged, if for no other reason than it was really cool to watch the suits of armor battle against each other while Harry and Sirius dueled with charm spells.

Potion lessons had been the most tedious, it wasn't that Harry didn't particularly like the subject, but in the pensieve potions couldn't be tested.  In fact the only indication of whether or not he had correctly brewed a concoction was by examining its color and through Sirius' spoken confirmations.  Regardless of the downside Harry learned several beneficial potions, which included different restorative and healing potions, the dreamless sleep drought, and one exploding potion, which he very much would have liked to see in action.  Maybe the greatest benefit from the potion lessons was the confidence Harry gained in the subject.  Harry was starting to believe that he didn't have an innate lack for attention to detail, as Snape so often suggested, but rather that he could concentrate appropriately when he didn't have someone around anticipating his mistakes.

When Harry wasn't training he was reading. He studied intently through his many defense books and even found the will to read through all of his fifth year texts again. He scribbled notes and highlighted passages through each book and in some texts it was hard to distinguish whether or not he or the author had written more.  He even went so far as to create symbols to demarcate how he could apply different topics to practical situations.

Of all the texts, the Occlumency book had been his greatest of source frustration.  He had in fact been able to make sense of the theory, but the author's method of describing the application was, at best, obscure: 

Occlumency is not magic, at least not as the term is practically defined.  The use of magic necessarily requires the expenditure of magical energy.  As the use of Occlumency does not, it must be concluded that the art is not magic.  Concurrently, Occlumency has nothing to do with either the amount or strength of an individual's magic. As is evidenced by the fact that an Occlumens may maintain an untested mind barrier indefinitely.

Instead Occlumency is a state of mind; it is an exertion of control and recognition of one's own thoughts.  To advance in this art one must first master their mind.  The ability to control thoughts and emotions from entering the conscience are prerequisite to its practical application.  One must always remember that the strength of one's Occlumency is only as limited as the mind employing it.

Harry thought about how useful this information would have been to know before Snape assaulted his head last year.

Preventing an invasion of the mind is a simple matter of understanding that emotions and memories are distinct and separate entities in the brain.  This realization is the key to successful Occlumency as a Legilimens may only attack the mind through the association of the two entities.  Therefore the individual who wishes to practice Occlumency must begin by first learning to discern the difference between their emotional thoughts, and how they associate them with their memories.

To realize these associations, a wizard begins by understanding that while the mind is the center that controls the body, the mind can also be trained to control itself.  Only through practice can this understanding be reached, and only through deliberate sessions of clearing the mind can practice transpire. Just as the mind signals the feet to walk, a wizard can develop the ability to control the mind's signals for the creation or cessation of thought and emotion. Eventually a level of focus will develop where the mind performs these tasks as easily as walking.

"Well that's helpful." Harry thought sarcastically, "So I get to teach my mind how to walk. Maybe if I actually remembered how I learned how to walk I would understand what is meant by learning how to clear my mind."

Once the required level of mind control is obtained the prevention of an attack is achieved through understanding the nature of Legilimency.  A Legilimency attack is nothing more than a forced conversation with another mind. As a result, a master Occlumens is able to discern what thoughts their attacker seeks. By knowing one's own mind, and what thoughts are your own, an Occlumens will recognize the invasion of a foreign thought by an attacking Legilimens. In a sense they will "hear" the alien thought making its demands to their mind.  An achieved Occlumens can than use this information to deceive his attacker by focusing on created thoughts for the Legilimens to receive.  Of course, the Occlumens may also choose to close his mind off as well, though this tactic will notify the attacker of a failed attempt at mind invasion. 

Harry lost count of how many times he read these passages from the book.  His initial attempts based on the books ambiguous instruction were to sit quietly in his room and try to force his mind to think of nothing. The activity was his best guess at what it meant to 'clear one's mind'.  The problem was that once he set himself to not thinking about anything his mind started racing with random thoughts.  In the few moments when he was actually able to stop his mind from racing, his senses seemed to go into overdrive.  He would start hearing all the noise around him, his nose would start itching, his muscles would start aching, or he would become acutely aware of a smell in his room.  Inevitably the progressive failures would frustrate him, and the unsated emotion ran rampant destroying what little amount of 'clarity' he had managed. 

Aside from the intense training and studying schedule Harry's time was spent, in some way or another, interacting with his friends. Remus Lupin was stopping in more often as well.  For a while Harry thought that he was coming by just to try and get information from him about his plans.  It seemed that Harry's revealing that he was going to leave Privet Drive when he was ready had concerned Lupin.  Harry thought his former professor was afraid that he would take off and leave for Grimmauld Place without letting anyone know.  It wasn't until Remus gathered up the courage to ask Harry if he could have another look into the pensieve, that Harry found out the man wasn't trying to spy on him, but was trying to figure out how much longer it would be until Harry was coming to live at Grimmauld Place.  The revelation of what the other was thinking cleared the tension between them and Remus' visits were now an anticipated event for Harry. 

The two men decided that they would visit their Gringotts vaults after Harry left Privet Drive. Since there was no longer going to be a need for Order members to patrol the neighborhood after Harry left, it would be easier to schedule a trip to Diagon Alley.  It also made Harry happy to see that Remus was looking much better.  Several visits into the pensieve had immensely improved the man's spirits and he came out a few times referring to himself as monsieur Moony.

Winky and Dobby made it a habit to come buy far more often then once a day.  Winky was now cleaning Harry's room at least twice a day and had apparently been cleaning the entire Dursley household. That was until Petunia went running out of the house one morning screaming about a large bald cat in the kitchen. This caused quite a commotion in the Dursley household since Petunia refused to go back into the house until an exterminator came.

Dobby's visits had been less often.  Though he did come by one afternoon to ask, "Harry sir, Dobby is wondering could he take the butterbeer from Master's house?" Apparently Winky was still suffering from her addiction and Kreacher was taunting the poor elf by placing barrels of butterbeer in Winky's room.  The news set Harry into a rage, and he almost went straight away to Grimmauld Place to deal with Kreacher. But Dobby calmed his irate master by telling him that he had been able to remove the barrels before Winky found them in her room.

Poor Hedwig was about as happy to the see the visiting house elves as Petunia was to see a bald cat in her kitchen.  Every time Dobby or Winky popped in, the snowy owl would fly out of her cage and perch on Harry's shoulder.  The owl apparently got hungry every time they came because she always felt the need to suddenly go hunting whenever they were around.  Hedwig's uneasiness with the elves had made it easier for Harry to justify to himself that his owl wouldn't mind the many letters he was sending either. 

Ever since she popped in with Winky, Hermione had written to Harry as often as she could.  She had even sent Pig to Harry's house on the way back to the burrow to let him know that OWL's were expected to arrive in two days.  By now Harry could pretty much predict what was inside the letters he received from Hermione and Ron. All summer long each of his best friends had only written about two topics. Ron's were Quiddich and Hermione, and Hermione's were school and Ron.  Harry had to laugh out loud to himself, even during the summer he couldn't escape from the annoying bickering of his best friends. 

By far Harry corresponded the most with Ginny.  For some reason the youngest Weasley was dead set on making sure that Harry was ok, and that he stayed informed. At first the letters had been fairly standard, discussing quiddich, what the order was up to, and (at Ginny's insistence) Harry's state of mind. Eventually, Harry had told Ginny about his training with his cousin and his independent study of Occlumency. He had grown to feel comfortable writing to Ginny, mostly because she never prodded him about what he was going to do or how he was ensuring his own safety.  Instead, she always wrote back with helpful suggestions or told Harry about whatever plans she was up to but was keeping secret from her brothers. Harry was surprised then, when in Ginny's last letter she asked if he would help her learn Occlumency. For some reason the request didn't sit well with Harry and he wrote her back asking why she wanted to learn the difficult art.  Her reply was so revealing, Harry knew there was no question as to whether or not he would help her. 

Harry,

I don't have much time to write to today as my stupid brother is in a huff about me not practicing enough Quiddich with him.  But I just got your letter and I wanted to answer your questions about teaching me Occlumency.  I've never told anyone else about this, but I know you won't accept some half-truth answer so here it is.

Ever since Tom Riddle possessed me I've been afraid that something like that could happen to me again.  I know that I was a naïve little girl when I spoke to that diary, and that I would never be so stupid as to share a connection with something like that again.  Regardless, I feel exposed now and my self-assurances that being possessed is in the past aren't helping me anymore.  I'm scared that the diary might have made me weak against mind attacks, or maybe I've always been weak to such things.  Either way, I don't want to feel this way anymore.  I still have nightmares about all the things I did in my first year and I want to make sure that these nightmares are my own, and that they are not being forced on me.  I know it sounds ridiculous, it feels ridiculous just writing it. 

I don't want you to worry about me, I know that of all people I shouldn't be bothering you with problems like these.  But I don't know who else to ask.  If I tell Ron or Hermione they'll freak out and probably tell mum. It's bad enough that everyone already treats me like a child here. 

I know that you have a lot of things to do already, but maybe I can just watch you practice or even practice with you. If you can't help I'll understand. 

Just so you know, there has still been nothing in the Daily Prophet about any attacks.  Fred and George also said that they haven't seen anything out of the ordinary at Diagon Alley.

Glad to hear your faring better against your cousin!

Write me soon,

Ginny

Through their correspondence Harry's image of Ginny had changed.  For so long Ginny had been shy and avoiding, and Harry's only thoughts of her was as the younger (seemingly much younger) sister of Ron.  But after the conversations they shared last year at Grimmauld Place and then of course the events at the ministry, Harry saw her as his peer and friend, but still Ron's only sister. 

Ginny had taken a different role in Harry's life over the summer.  She was the only person Harry knew that didn't skate around certain topics with him, or didn't act like she was worried about what he was or wasn't doing.  She showed a genuine interest in his general well-being and not just the dangers he faced from Voldemort.  At the moment she was the only friend he had whose topics of conversation extended beyond school, quiddich, or how annoying the other friend was.

Now she was even trusting Harry to help her with her own well-being.  It was no doubt that Harry had helped a lot of people over the past five years.  But how many times had someone come straight out and asked him for help like this, trusting him to be able to help them properly.  Of course there was the DA, but that was more like fulfilling an obligation while getting to smite Umbridge and the Ministry. Ginny had become a friend and a confidant. The fact that she trusted him to help her separated Ginny not only from her brother, but from everyone else as well.

AN: Well I'm quite confident that I can throw my notion about short author's notes out the window for this chapter.  First off let me apologize for this being such a short chapter. At least we progressed through time.  For what it's worth I'm going to try and post Chapter 9 and 10 this week possibly at the same time, as I hate cliffhangers as much as I hate posting short chapters.

Hopefully Midnight and ADJ aren't pulling their hair out of their heads due to the end of this chapter.  I absolutely promise that I am not following down the very worn out path of Ginny becoming Harry's everything. I won't do it.  A lot because of the reasons ADJ listed.  But mainly because like you all said, it's just been done too many times before. Frankly it has never fit with my story line either. On that note, a lot of you have asked what the ship is going to be in this fic, let's leave it up in the air for now (there will be one, I just don't think Harry knows what he wants or even that he does want for it).

Bye the way I'm glad that so many of you liked the pensieve idea. More happy dances for its continued praise! I think I have a few more intricacies that might fall into that "quality creative idea" category but you all will have to be the judge of that.

 Thanks for the reviews.  What did you think about the Occlumency passages? They took forever to write.

ADJ – Thanks again for your review.  I appreciate the time you took to offer the input. One thing I will reveal is that Ron is definitely going to step up in this story. Call it my male bias. 

Halstead – Sorry to disappoint you with the above comment about Ron.  For what it's worth he definitely has some growing up to do. Tonks is too funny to not include huh? 7 chapters in two weeks is pretty fast, I'm happy you noticed. (Evil smile at the thought of a slower pace…I'm kidding of course) Thanks for the review.

Midknight – I can't thank you enough for all your reviews.  So encouraging!  You remain the mystery of the unsigned review. I can't cheat and see what your all about in your bio.  Your input remains invaluable. 

If you managed to reach this point in reading these dull author's notes I wonder if you'd be interested in answering a question.  Is it possible for Voldemort to have a canon personality? If so I wonder what that would be.  Obviously we take for granted that he's innately evil and only out for himself, but how he interacts in dialogue beyond just assuming that he knows everything and will crucio everyone for breathing is where I wonder. Haven't seen the topic handled much in fanfic.