My First Kiss
Disclaimer: Well... ha! I DO own Card Captors.... CLAMP appears with FBI Aherm I mean, I DON'T own Card Captors... looks around awkwardly
Summary: Well, It's been a long time since I write, so let me give you the summary up untill now...(untill? Oh Gosh, I'm spelling like my science teacher... I'm a bit too lazy to press space bar and just decide to ramble on about stuff no one cares aboutsigh) Well, Meiling is going to Hong Kong again, because she has been engaged to another man, leaving Syaoran heart broken...or so we think. He has a good-bye party(not very well planned if I recall) for her and a lot of things happen... Ruby/Nakuru confess their love for Yuki/Yue, Touya returns with Kaho, while being surprised by the news that Yuki/Yue might be in love with him. Eriol and Tomoyo kiss, and ignore the subject. Syaoran and Sakura have been nothing more than friends... until playing truth or dare they kiss and their feelings are mixed up. Two of Sakura's cards turn back into Clow (The Powerful and The Fight) giving them a lot of trouble, and a lot to think about, because why would her cards rebel.
Ok, HEY! Well, yeah, that's a long summary, I mainly did it to refresh MY mind... but if it helps you... I'M GLAD well, I'm sorry I haven't written in SO long...but my hopes were kind of out for this story, until I got a call from Puki saying that I had like... a thousand reviews... I'm really glad that I have gotten a lot of reviews, not as much as other people but HEY, it's a start! This chapter takes more of like... a flip! It's not so much about Sakura and Syaoran but as Rika and Terada...(Yeah, I know It's weird, but... I've always been intrigued by the Teacher/Student relationship, I guess it has something to do with it's... forbiddance)I think that's how you say it...
Same old request, please be CONstructive not DEstructive in your reviews, I'll accept flames as long as they are in a CONstructive manner. (Wrong((( You're story sucks! You suck at spelling! You should DIE!.............................. RIGHT(((( I believe you can improve your spelling) Thanks, I haven0't received any DEstructive... but still... I... am paranoid.
"talking"
'thinking
& P.O.V.&
&----------------& Scene change
Chapter 8
Rika's Secret
& Sakura's P.O.V.&
"Because... ... ... ... I... uh" I stuttered for a moment, I didn't know what to say. Syaoran, I like him, he's my best friend. He's helped me through everything... but, come on, let's get real here Sakura, he's... not in love with you... he's in love with Meiling...
'Sakura' I shook my head. That shouldn't bother you! You are not in love with him either!
'Sakura' I know what this is! I'm just confused because of that stupid kiss! Yeah, it wasn't stupid I admit it, it was actually kind of... nice.
'Sakura' What am I talking about? I have nothing to compare it to! Maybe that's what it bothering be... it was my first kiss, my first kiss was given to me by a person that I'm not even in love with.
'Sakura' I always imagined my first kiss... more... special, not that it wasn't, there was just...
'Sakura!' Too many people there.
'Sakura!'...
"What?" I yelled at the top of my lungs to that annoying little voice in my head. Suddenly, I realized, as if for seeing it for the first time that I was in the classroom, surrounded by people. All of which seemed to have stopped at my shout. I felt embarrassed at the fact that I had forgotten were I was because I was so deep in thought. And as if seeing for the first time, I saw a pair of worried yet bright amber eyes shining at me, and I could see my reflection in them, I could see my pale green eyes shining back at me in the reflection. I looked at them, stupefied, for a while... until I heard a voice come from them...
"I'm sorry I shouted at you... you were just, like... spazzed..." And as if taken of a trance by a voice that came along with the amber eyes a stepped back and saw him. I felt my face blush, either because he was there or because the whole class's eyes were on me too.
"Hey," I said in a mere whisper.
"Are you alright?" Syaoran said, taking his hands of off my shoulder. I shook my head, somehow I was still... dazzled.
"Yeah." I said in my normal voice. "Sorry, I was... uh... day dreaming." I said sheepishly looking around, my gaze stopped at Eriol, who was smiling.
"Sorry, Li, that we didn't go to the party, but well, I had dinner at Takashi's house." Chiharu said apologetically, to both Meiling and Syaoran.
"Yeah, I had loads of homework." Naoko said. This wasn't suspicious, although she goes to school than we, she has extra classes, Spanish, French... and some others.
"Well, I was... busy" Rika said uncomfortably.
"Your dad didn't let you go, right?" I asked, trying to recall if that was the reason.
"Uh... yeah," She said blushing. I didn't quite understand why she was embarrassed, there's nothing wrong with your parents not letting you out. Terada-sensei walked into the room, and he smiled, not at the sight of the whole class, but... it seemed to me... to Rika in particular. I saw Rika blush, even though she was sitting some seats ahead, I could see her. I knew Rika to blush at the sight of Terada... but it surprised me that Terada smiled particularly at her. What surprised me more was not the smile, but that... when she smiled back, I could have sworn I thought to see him blush too. I shook the thought away, that was ridiculous. We all knew Rika had a crush on Terada, but it was stupid to think he had a crush on her. Or was it?
"Sakura." I heard a soft whisper coming from behind me, I lifted my head from my hands, and looked up at Terada-sensei, I didn't think on what to say, or what I was being to be blunt.
"4" I said instinctively. I knew I was wrong when I heard the whole class laugh.
"That would be a correct answer," Terada-sensei said looking at me, not angry... but, understandingly. "If we were in Math, but do to the fact that we are in Social Studies... I believe it's wrong. For Uzbekistan's capital is not called 'Four' but Tashkent."(a/n: that's actually it for the people wondering 'Is that it... or is she some weird-o making it up?) I heard the words, clearly, but they just made no sense to me.
&Syaoran's P.O.V.&
"I know, we have gone through this a thousand times, but... we are going to study the capitals of Europe and Asia, let's start with... Uzbekistan." I heard Terada's words, but I was too worried about Sakura. She seemed rather, troubled. Spacing out like that, the cards turning against her, it all worries me. Will these be the only ones? I expect that there will be more. Eriol is back, that can only mean that there will be more trouble, but even back at my house, he seemed surprised, somewhat... "Sakura, can you tell us?" I heard Terada's voice echo in my head. I ignored it... I remained motionless for a short while, waiting for Sakura's sweet voice to respond. Yet... she didn't. Her name was called again.
"Sakura." I whispered. Immediately as if snapped out a dream she said 'Four'. Terada- sensei kept talking...
"That would be a correct answer... If we w..." After that his voice slowly trailed of into a soft 'blah, blah, blah' I neither understood nor cared for his talking. I was staring out the window, my mind blank as I watched some petals of the cherry blossom trees slowly descend to the floor. A little piece of paper fell on my desk, catching my attention. Neat handwriting across the paper spelled the words 'Penny for your thoughts.' I looked ahead of me, Sakura. She was in the same trance again. 'Sakura' I wrote rapidly and passed the paper on to Tomoyo, who was sitting in the desk next to Sakura. After watching her scribble something, in what I was sure was neat handwriting, another paper flew my way, 'A little day dreamy, huh? You think she's alright? Might have been the cards, the games, or... could it be something she's not telling us?' I thought about these questions, read the paper over and over again... 'Something she's not telling us' It was obvious I was not the only one worried, Eriol, next to me... took the paper, with a swift move, and read it. The paper found it's way back to my desk, and in Eriol's handwriting 'Talking about Sakura, are we?'
"How about you, Li?" I heard Terada's voice.
"Uh..." I thought... what had he just asked?
"Come on, you have to know Mongolia's capital." He said almost exasperated.
"Ulan Bator..." I said waiting for approval.
"Good." The bell rang as soon as he had replied. I stood up.
&Rika's P.O.V.&
I stood up, looking behind me at my friends. They stood up as well and started walking out the door, ready for Lunch. Li stopped to look at Sakura, he seemed worried. I can't say I myself are not, she has been very dreamy since the morning. Dreamy in a bad way, not in an something-great-happened kind of way. I walked closer to them.
"Sakura?" Li shook Sakura gently, making her stare up at him with a glazed look, she looked around and saw us staring back at her. She stood up, grabbed her bag smiled as if nothing was wrong and started walking away. I looked at Tomoyo, she was staring at the back of Sakura's head.
"Well, are you all coming?" Sakura winked at us. They all nodded, as if dismissing the thought they had had previously.
"Sakura! Hold on!" Tomoyo yelled behind her. They all started walking out, and waited for Li and me at the door.
"Are you coming Sasa... Rika." I could tell that still after almost five years of being friends the only people Syaoran dared call by their name were Sakura and Tomoyo. I know it's a little hard for him.
"I..." I looked at Terada-sensei from the corner of my eye. He was at his desk, concentrating on something. "I think I'll stay to ask Yo-Terada-sensei. I have to ask him something about the class, anyways."
"Oh, come on Rika, you can do that anytime, let's go have lunch, I particularly am starving. Besides they are all on their way." Sakura said as cheerful as ever walking back towards me. Sakura was always encouraging, I remember when she taught me how to swim, I smiled.
"Li and you can go and have lunch, I'll be there in a moment. I really need to talk to Yoshiyuki..." They were staring at me confused, and I realized I had used his real name. "- sensei," I corrected my self much sooner than they could speak. "Yoshiyuki- sensei."
"Uh... his name is Yoshiyuki?" Li whispered.
"Yeah," I said. "It says so on his desk." I said pointing at a little plaque on his desk that read 'Yoshiyuki Terada – Sensei' They nodded, and I sighed in relief.
"Well, if you really need to..." Sakura said looking at me.
&Sakura's P.O.V.&
I really wanted Rika to eat lunch with us. Maybe having the whole group there would distract me for a while. She seemed to really want to stay, so I didn't want to pressure her, I smiled at her, gave her a reassuring look and started walking away. "Good- bye, Terada- sensei."
"See you soon, Sakura." He said calmly looking up. I walked away, but was stopped by Syaoran at the door.
"Hold on..."
&Syaoran's P.O.V&
Rika, wanting to stay to 'ask' Terada something was something normal, something I had grown accustomed to through the years, but she calling him by his first name was far from normal. I nodded as Sakura greeted farewell to Terada and ran after giving him a slight grin. I stopped Sakura at the door.
"Hold on..." I said as I looked at her.
"What's the matter?"
"Let's stay here."
"And eavesdrop on them? Are you serious?" She was now whispering, I couldn't believe it my self, but I WAS serious... I don't know if I wanted to listen to their conversation or be alone with Sakura, but either way I wanted to stay.
"Yes, what, aren't you curious on why she's now on first name basis with him?" I said matter-of-factly. She looked at me and... well... we stayed there.
&Rika's P.O.V.&
I watched them leave and when I was sure they were at a safe distance I walked up to his desk, he looked up and smiled.
"Yoshiyuki," He dropped his pen and stood up to were I was, I looked up to his brown eyes.
"Rika, I..." He looked down at me and his hands slowly wrapped around my waist, he pulled me closer, like he had done so many times. "I should close the door, someone might be out there..." He walked to the door, and stopped dead as we both heard a whisper... he looked around, shut the door, and came back. "Must have been my imagination." He walked back to me and smiled, I knew what was on his mind.
"Yoshiyuki..." I started.
"Sh..." He said as he pressed his finger against my lips. I smiled as his arms were wrapped around my wait again, I wrapped my arms around his neck. It used to be harder, but... now I'm taller, so it has become easier for me to reach his neck. I looked into his piercing brown eyes. I slowly closed my eyes as I felt his face come closer to mine.
&Yoshiyuki Terada's P.O.V.&
I pulled Rika closer to me, I felt her warmth, and her soft skin against mine as she slipped her arms around my neck. She had grown a lot taller during the summer. We couldn't really see much of each other then, but... who cares about that. We are here, and that's all that matters. I smiled at the thought, of having her in my arms again, I had wanted her to go to Li's party, yet she had insisted in not canceling our dinner. I looked at her innocent eyes glinting up. I moved closer, and closer, she closed her eyes as she started to move closer to me too. We were a millimeter apart, as I closed my eyes too. I felt her soft lips against mine, and that overwhelming feeling came over me again. Overwhelming in a good sense, I mean. My love for her is so strong, that... just thinking about it brings tears up to my eyes. (a/n: you know what I mean, yeah I now this is a mushy moment... but hey, Come on! She deserves it...) I heard some foot steps on the hall, I ignored them. The door was shut no one would come in.
&Sakura's P.O.V.&
"He... he kissed her?" I whispered at Syaoran unbelievingly, and he nodded in as much shock as me. I looked at him. I didn't know if to be happy, or preoccupied. I mean, she finally got her dream, Terada-sensei responds to her feelings... sigh 'Syaoran'... I shook my head at what I had just thought...
"Footsteps!" Syaoran whispered. "Someone is coming." He grabbed my hand and pulled me away. What happened next, I never knew. We were too far away. My glance drifted to the hand holding mine, and I smiled as I thought about it...
&Rika's P.O.V.&
We kissed more passionately than ever. I felt his grip tighten around my waist as he pulled me even closer.
Bang
I let go of his neck as he turned around... what I saw was more scary than shocking... his hand grabbed mine, and squeezed it... what would happen now?
&Terada's P.O.V.&
I turned around swiftly as I heard the door slid open with a loud Bang to go with it. I turned around as quickly as Rika had let go of my neck... I stared at the person standing in front of me and squeezed Rika's hand. I was speechless, what could I say in a situation like this... how could I justify myself. I just limited to look straight to the person's eyes.
"Yoshiyuki!" Kaho exclaimed as she came closer to me. "What are you doing?" She asked in a low whisper, as if she was, not trying to find out, but trying to make ME see.
"Ms. Sasaki, will you please excuse us..." I said not even looking at her. I hated calling her Ms. Sasaki even worse than I hated her calling me Terada-sensei. It just reminded me of how wrong this was. She let go if my hand and started walking towards the door, just there she turned around.
"Good afternoon, Mizuki-Sensei, Terada-Sensei." She smiled and walked out, closing the door silently. If I was right, I had seen a couple of tears shining in her eyes.
"Do you have any idea how serious this is?" She asked me looking at me defiantly. I said nothing, I had nothing to say for myself. "You could get fired, she could get expelled, you can EVEN GO TO JAIL!" 'Yes, I know' It's true I did know, I had thought about that so thoroughly when I had decided to finally tell Rika what I felt. I know how wrong it is.
"Yes... I just..." I sighed, what? What did I want to say? I avoided her eyes, like a little kid avoids the principle's eyes when trying to justify himself for cheating on a test or skipping class. "I... I know... very well, all those things Kaho. I know."
"Well, what if it hadn't been me the one to come barging in like that?" She yelled.
"But it was!" I raised my voice slightly; I had never been the kind of man to raise my voice at a woman, but... Rika... I just couldn't help this. "I know what I am doing, Kaho, ok!" I said as I started pacing around the room.
"You do. But does she? Does she know she could get expelled, that you could get fired, sued and even imprisoned? Does she really know what SHE is doing?" Kaho's voice came down, it sounded more like... motherly.
"I..." Did she? Did she know the risks this implied? I for sure hadn't told her. I had assumed she knew. (a/n: when you ASSUME you make and ASS out of U and ME) Why had I assumed that? "I thought she did." I said in a whisper.
"Well, I think you should tell her." She said as she walked out the door. I stood there, thinking, thinking hard on what to tell her.
&Tomoyo's P.O.V.&
I looked up and saw Syaoran and Sakura running towards us. They sat down and took out their lunch as normally.
"Uh... and where have you two been?" Eriol said as he gave me a sly smile.
"Nowhere." Sakura said still panting.
"You were a long time in Nowhere... Where is that?" I said, following Eriol's lead. Syaoran and Sakura love each other, they have since the first day they met, of course Sakura, too involved in Yukito never saw it, and Syaoran with his huge pride, didn't see it either...
"Well..." Syaoran said looking around seeking for words. "Rika! Hey!" He yelled as he saw Rika walking towards them.
"And you? Where have you been?" Chiharu asked confused.
"I was asking Terada-sensei if he could help me out with something for the English class. We have a lot of the same taste in books, I just wanted his opinion in one event of the book I chose to read." Rika said blushingly. I giggled, it was always funny to watch people blush, yet I also saw Sakura and Syaoran look at each with a yeah-right look.
&Syaoran's P.O.V.&
The bell rang soon enough, our cue to go back to class. Rika seemed relieved as she stood up. I didn't care much about her, Chiharu, Naoko or Yamazaki, at first, but... well, I'm not here for the Clow Cards anymore. I'm here... I stayed, originally, here to be with Sakura. Time has changed though... and now I'm here with my friends. I care about all of them and... they have become a great part of my life. I HAVE changed a lot... I'm here because I have made my life here, I can't go back, not with this many friends, I'm not here for Sakura. Somewhere, in my conscience, my brain or my heart, that statement felt so wrong. We walked into the class, Sakura stopped right away and when I saw Terada I knew why. He wasn't his usual kind self. He seemed rather, sad.
"What's the matter?" I asked her as the rest but Tomoyo and I went to sit down, Eriol came back into our conversation and... well, we were so used to them that we didn't mind.
&Sakura's P.O.V.&(a/n: A lot of P.O.V. changing huh? But how else would you receive the full blow of the story)
I walked into the class, it seemed dark... Terada-sensei's class has always been clear and warm. Yet the gloom in here was overwhelming. What had happened? Who had been that person? I felt a hand on my back...
"What's the matter?" I heard Syaoran ask me, Tomoyo and Eriol noticed I had stopped dead at the door and came towards me.
"Good afternoon, Terada-sensei." Rika smiled at him, he looked up at her and forced a smile on his face.
"Good afternoon, Rika." He said and immediately stood up. "Sakura and company, unless you intend to listen to my class from outside, I suggest you come in." He said, yet... it wasn't funny, it would've been... I guess.
&Rika's P.O.V.&
I sat down, he had... no, he had wanted to talk to me, but the whole class was there. Yeah that was it. Soon the whole class settled down and he started speaking. His voice echoed through the class, everyone paying attention, except for Sakura, what was she thinking? Was she alright? I'll ask her later, I have things to worry about my self.
"Terada-sensei?" I raised my hand.
"Yes, Rika?" He answered rather coolly.
"Speaking about symbolism... here, when she says 'And the flower crumpled and fell to the ground, agonizing as he walked away' by flower she means herself right?" I asked, I had had that question in my mind and never found the time to ask it.
"Yes, indeed. As I was saying a symbolism is when something represents more than it is meant to. I don't see anybody taking notes. Now, if symbolism is what I just said who can tell me what exactly Ms. Sasaki's literary term is?" He had ignored me. He had treated me like any other student. No kind glance when I called his name, no reassuring smile. He had... been cold. 'A metaphor.' I heard a voice say in the distance. 'Yes and a metaphor is... I want a technical response." I raised my hand, and looked up at him, trying to catch his eye. He ignored me, he didn't even look at me. He looked around and saw no other hand in the air.
"Ms. Sasaki?" I heard his voice clearly. His eyes looked at me for a second and turned away. "The answer Ms. Sasaki."
"Uh... a metaphor is when something is said to be something it has nothing in common with." He nodded.
"It's a simile without using the words like or as." He said... again his voice went to a distance. Why was he like this? The bell rang and I started to hear everything clrealy.
"Sakura, may I have a word with you." I looked at Sakura who was looking at me in confusion. Syaoran whispered something in her ear and walked away, giving me a grin. Tomoyo squeezed Sakura's arm and walked passed me, she, then, stopped at the door to wait for me.
"What do you think he wants?" She whispered when she reached my desk.
"I don't know." I said, what DID he want? I walked down to the changing rooms were I changed quickly into my P.E. uniform. Today we were doing racing, it's always nice, P.E. class, it's not as formal as the normal class, I get to talk to my friends, to Terada and have fun all at the same time.
"We'll have to wait until Terada-sensei comes down." Meiling sat down exasperated.
"I suppose." Tomoyo said as she leaned against a locker.
"What's the deal with you and Terada?" I looked up at Chiharu, did they know Terada and I were dating? It was really difficult to keep something like this away from my friends. I had once told Sakura I was dating an older man, but that was the only thing I mentioned. (a/n: for those of you who have read the manga, in my story they are no engaged)
&Sakura's P.O.V.&
I watched as they all walked away and then approached Terada-sensei's desk. He seemed preoccupied about something, I'm not sure what.
"What's wrong?" He asked me as he stood up and sat down on the desk next to me. I turned sideways to look at him, his eyes were now at level with mine.
"What do you mean?" I was taken aback.
"You have been day dreaming all day long in my class."
"I... I'm sorry, it will never happen again." I answer quickly with the hope of being able to leave.
"I'm not mad at you. I'm worried." His eyes did show worry more than anger... but, I couldn't tell him the truth.
"Well, the thing is, I... it's not... I'm confused." And so I'll tell him...
"About the class?" He asked unbelievingly.
"It's a little more personal than that." I said blushing. (a/n: about time somebody started blushing)
"Well, if you need help or want help from me, I'm always available." He said and winked at me. "Now go along, I'll be down there in a moment." I started walking away when he called after me. "Sakura, can you call Rika up here, tell her it will be just a moment."
&----------------&
&Rika's P.O.V.&
I walked into his classroom, apparently he had changed already into his P.E. attire.
"Sakura said you wanted to see me..." He walked up to me and kissed me on the cheek. I stifled to keep my face from burning up.
"I did... I mean, I do..." As far as I could tell he didn't seem to know exactly what he was doing, but... what ever it was, it wasn't good. "Look, you better sit down." He motioned to a desk and not used to this, I did as I was told.
"Is something wrong... Yoshiyuki?" I said as I grabbed his hand. He seemed to flinch as he heard his name, and as soon as my hand had found his, it was split apart.
"Terada-sensei, if you please." 'Terada-sensei?' For a moment I didn't know what to think, I didn't know what was going on. I had to wait a second for his words to sink in. 'T...terada-sensei, if you please' I frowned as I realized that my question had been the wrong one.
"What's wrong?" I asked, as gently as I could, I wasn't mad I was... more like... confused.
"Well... You see... I have... well..." I was getting impatient.
"What's wrong?" I said now eagerly.
"Rika, I want you to know that... I... I love you. I really do. I want you to know that no matter what happens I'll always be there for you, Rika, I..." I was getting desperate.
"What's wrong?" I demanded. He seemed to take a deep breath and he sat on the desk across of mine. He took another deep breath and pressed his eyes with his fingers, as if thinking hard, and exasperated... he slipped his hand slowly until it reached his chin. He sighed and looked up into my eyes.
"Rika, I've been thinking." He pronounced these words slowly, as if he had carefully picked each one of them. "And, I've come to the decision that we, perhaps, shouldn't date anymore." His voice shook as he said that last words.
"Why?" I asked before I could stop it, I felt tears well up in my eyes but I was too shocked to pull them back.
"Well, it's... it's very dangerous, Rika, what we are doing." He said as if he were speaking to a 5 year old. "It can cause us a lot of problems." He put his hand on my shoulder. I stood up, not quite knowing what I was doing.
"Don't talk to me like I am a child, please, I'm your girlfriend... I think I should know the truth." I said as calmly as I could still not holding the tears back.
"No, you are not my girlfriend anymore, Rika." He said coolly, I couldn't hold it anymore, the tears that were slowly falling started strolling faster and faster.
&Terada's P.OV.&
I sat down, waiting for Rika to arrive. My sports clothes already on. "Sakura said you wanted to see me..." A sweet voice filled the room. I stood up with a jolt, I hadn't expected her so soon. I still didn't know quite what to say. Yet, I had a gut feeling that no matter how much time I had, I would never be ready for what I was about to do. Instinctively I walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek, I looked intensely into her eyes, how was I supposed to tell her? I couldn't do this. I took a deep breath, 'Here goes nothing.'
"I did... I mean, I do..." I didn't know exactly what to say. What if I said something I didn't mean to? I wanted to tell her she was the only girl in my life, that next to her I would never be sad, cold or alone. That she made me feel like no other person makes me feel, my life started the day I met her. "Look, you better sit down." Those words where all that came out of my mouth. I showed her a desk on which, after thinking a while she sat down on.
"Is something wrong Yoshiyuki?" My name glided gracefully from her lips. It sounded so natural, so pure... so beautiful when she said it. She grabbed my hand, and I felt my insides squirm. I pulled my hand back, I couldn't let that back me away, I had to put a stop to this. Kaho was right; Rika had no idea what she had gotten her self into. I thought for a while, and I made up my mind, I had to put my foot down.
"Terada-sensei if you please." I couldn't believe what I had just said, I couldn't let her see this, I could not let her see that I had doubts, that I was weak. She had to think... she had to know I had made up my mind, that I was sure, even if I wasn't.
"What's wrong?" She asked, I could here the confusion in her voice.
"Well... You see... I have... well..." I didn't quite now how to start, what should I say first? I had never broken up with someone I was still in love with. I had never been in love with anyone as with Rika.
"What's wrong?" She said eagerly, more like worried. I paced in front of her for a while and wondered what to say. I had to choose the right words; I could not hurt Rika's feelings. I chose the words to begin with.
"Rika, I want you to know that... I... I love you. I really do. I want you to know that no matter what happens I'll always be there for you, Rika, I..." I didn't know quite what to say, maybe these words would make her calm down. They would make her feel better after it all.
"What's wrong?" She demanded at me, her voice sharp and determined. I sat on the desk
across from hers, realizing I also needed to sit down. I rested my elbow on my leg as I pressed my fingers against my eyes. Trying to relieve my self of all of this for a while, trying to resist my self from pulling all my hair out of my head, I had to choose the right words. I had to choose them carefully. I was not going to let anything slip out that would hurt Rika more than it should. I sighed and drew in a deep breath. This must have been the first time I breathed since Rika came in through the door. I lifted my gaze and found Rika's determined eyes looking straight at me.
"Rika, I've been thinking." I said slowly, thinking twice before I said each word. I held my breath as I said the following. . "And, I've come to the decision that we, perhaps, shouldn't date anymore." I heard and felt my voice shake as I pronounced the last words.
"Why?" She said almost immediately. I saw tears form in her eyes, and she didn't bother as they slowly started wandering down her cheek. I was shocked; I had seen Rika cry before, but I had never been the reason.
"Well, it's... it's very dangerous, Rika, what we are doing." Calmly and gently the words drifted out of my mouth, my tone was as if I had been speaking to somebody incapable of understanding normally. "It can cause us a lot of problems." I put my hand on her shoulder as if to reassure her, but she shook it off and stood up almost immediately, I could see how hard she fought to control herself yet she couldn't.
"Don't talk to me like I am a child, please, I'm your girlfriend... I think I should know the truth." Her smooth voice now shook with every word she said.
"No, you are not my girlfriend anymore, Rika." I scolded my self! I had spoken without thinking and I felt a surge of pain flow through my whole body as I saw Rika's tears flowing uncontrollably. She looked at me, with those eyes, overflowing with tears.
"Why?" She whispered as she came closer to me.
"Because..." We looked deeply into each others eyes, and unconsciously started coming closer and closer, and right before our lips touched I realized what was happening. "No! I refuse to let this happen." I said, and she turned her face away. I had to repress the tears back before they volunteered to start swarming in my eyes. (a/n: he's got some nice vocabulary. - I got a little bit of help on that) "Rika, listen to me, we cannot do this. I cannot do this, not anymore."
"What's so wrong with it?" She asked not bothering to stop the sadness from her voice. "I thought we were doing great."
"We were. Until... until I realized how wrong this is, all the consequences we are exposing ourselves to, all the consequences I'm exposing YOU to!"
"And which are those?" She yelled at me. Gosh, she didn't know. She had no idea, Kaho had been right.
"Rika, it's against the law, what we are doing is against the law." I said, desperately trying to make her see.
"What do you mean? It's not like we are sleeping together!" She said bluntly.
"We don't have to be!" I was so shocked by what she had said that it took me a small moment to come back ."All I have to do is look at you in a none-proper manner of a teacher to look at a student and I can get sued, fired and even go to jail." I said. "I can get fired if someone figures out that I'm in love with you, I can go to jail if they find out I have acted upon those feelings Rika, and if... if someone finds out you responded to my feelings, that you felt the same way, that you acted upon those feelings too, you can get expelled, and that will follow you, Rika. It will follow you where ever you go, when you enroll in another school, in a university, when you apply for a job, they will see this. This will be brought up every time anybody considers you for anything, Rika, or considers me for that matter!" I took a deep breath, realizing I hadn't been breathing much. "We are not just risking our reputation, we are risking more. I don't care, Rika, if I get fired, I have other things, I can write... I can play sports, or maybe I won't but I don't care. I just don't want your life screwed up because of me, ok? You are too important to me." She thought about it, considered it for a moment. I was thankful she did, because this gave me time to catch my breath and calm down.
"What... What if I told you... that I... I don't care either? Would that change your mind?" She was fighting hard to restrain all the tears. I thought I while, she wasn't convincing, she did care. She had been so shocked after I told her all that.
"No..." I said after thinking for five minutes about it. "It's my fault..." I said avoiding her eyes,
"How so?" She was puzzled, tears still flowing, I could not hold it any more, the tears were coming to hard on me, I had to let some of them drop.
"I was stupid... stringing you along like that... this wouldn't be happening if I had thought about it before. I was so stupid. Assuming you knew all this."
"Yoshiyu... I mean, Terada-sensei... don't say that..." She started.
"Ms. Sasaki, I believe you should go down to the changing rooms and wait for me there, with the rest of the class." With a few tears still on my eyes and some on hers she walked out of the classroom without biding me farewell, and I sat down on my desk, I looked at the clock and realized, that bare 15 minutes had gone by since I had called Ms. Kinomoto in my class, closing my eyes, I played the scene in my head over and over again.
&Sakura's P.O.V.&
Around 10 minutes had passed since I had come back when we all saw Rika come back. I could tell she was upset, even though we could not see her face. She didn't say hi to us she went straight into the faucet and washed her face. She turned around with a huge grin on her face. "I'm back. What have I missed?" She said as she sat down next to Chiharu.
"Well, Naoko was just telling us about the forest." Chiharu said unaware. I looked at Rika, why was she so sad? I turned around and noticed Tomoyo looking straight at me, I blushed and looked around paying attention to what Naoko was about to say. (a/n: Sakura is not AS clueless as in the show anymore, come one people she's like 15 right now. Besides... she's like...clueless not stupid... :$ Just... work me with me here'¬.¬...TT)
"Well... they say that a ghost inhabits the forest, and that at night..." I grabbed Tomoyo's arm as I tried not to hear. "and that if anyone wonders around the forest at night, she slowly creeps up at you and..."
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
A shrill noise came all of a sudden into the changing rooms and we all yelled, or at least Rika and I yelled... well actually, Rika gasped and I screamed.
"Ms. Kinomoto..." I could here a voice at the back of my head... "Sakura! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
"Good afternoon Terada-sensei." Tomoyo said as she patted my back.
"Calm down Kino... Sakura. It was just a story. Good afternoon, Terada- sensei." Meiling said as she walked passed him and out of the changing rooms. Rows of girls started walking passed him.
"Are you five coming, or have decided to stare at me for what's left of the class?" Terada- sensei said trying to be funny. He was, usually...
"We're going." Chiharu said as she looked at us. "Well, good afternoon, Terada-sensei"
"Good afternoon Terada-sensei." Naoko and Chiharu both walked passed him and I started walking towards the door.
"Tomoyo?" I looked back, and she motioned to Rika who was looking down at the floor.
"Rika, are you coming?" I said as I stopped right in front of Terada- sensei. She nodded, Tomoyo started walking and went passed him.
"Good afternoon." She nodded. Rika stood up and stopped next to me.
"Good afternoon Terada-sensei." I said as I walked passed him and stopped at the door, Tomoyo and I waiting for Rika. She started walking passed him, they avoided each others eyes.
"Good after noon, Ms. Kinomoto." He said as he turned around and waited for Rika to be completely out of the changing room. We sat down in the ground as he explained the class, and greeted it. We were at the front of the class, I was listening to what Terada-sensei was saying until...
"What's wrong with Terada-sensei?" Chiharu whispered to Tomoyo and I.
"What do you mean?" I responded.
"Well, he looks as if he's been..." Chiharu started to explain but was interrupted by Naoko.
"Crying."
"I don't he has been crying." Tomoyo said. "Maybe, he's getting a cold."
"How do you know he's been crying or something?" I asked.
"His eyes." Tomoyo said. "They look... tired, more like... sad."
"What do you think, Rika?" I asked her.
&Rika's P.O.V.&
What do I think? I think this sucks. I can't believe he broke up with me. "I don't really know." I whispered.
"What do you mean? What's wrong?" Chiharu asked me, I shunted my eyes away from them.
"Nothing, just..." I don't know if I was glad or more heartbroken when I heard his voice yell.
"Mihara Chiharu, and Yanagisawa Naoko! You are next!" They stood up hastily and went to the racing track. Tomoyo was still staring at me, concern shining in her eyes. Sakura was more like puzzled...
"You guys won't ask questions... will you?" I asked turning away, the truth is I didn't feel like telling anyone. They both nodded and we stayed in silence. I appreciated their comprehension, I just need to clear my mind.
"Kinomoto Sakura, Daidouji Tomoyo, S... Sa... S... Sasaki Rika. Get ready, I'll time you." Terada-sensei...sigh said as we approached him. "Now, look, you know the basics, when you hear the whistle you start, you start running from this line... all that stuff. Now, you will run up 'til there." He pointed to the end of one side of the track bending his back slightly to be closer to our height. "and back" he continued. "five times, ok?" He looked at Sakura, then Tomoyo and then for a second he looked at me and immediately stood up. "If at anytime you cannot continue stop and I will count your last time." He said and backed up, Tomoyo and Sakura were still staring at me, and all I could do was get in position of running. I knew why he had said the not being able to go on comment, I was never a very good sports, and... he remembered. It wasn't cold, and mocking, it was more like... concern. "On your marks... get set..." The whistle... whistled, (a/n: ok I ran out of adjectives ok..! My English teacher should give me 100 if she just saw some of the descriptive language I used... Death to English teachers aherm I hope she doesn't read this...) "GO!" I ran... I started running as fast as I could, as I tried to keep up with Sakura and Tomoyo.
&----------------&
I sat in the park, crying my eyes out as I remembered what had happened the day before. How could he have broken up with me. I thought we loved each other... I love him, I really do. It's just not fair. I felt a warm hand set on my shoulder, and I didn't even DARE look up at it.
"Rika, please tell me what's wrong?" Sakura said as he sat down next to me, her hand still on my shoulder.
"Promise you won't tell anyone." I said between sobs, Sakura was just looking at me with soft concerned eyes, and her voice was so reassuring. She nodded and squeezed my shoulder a little. "Te- Terada-Sensei broke up with me."
"He did!?" I knew Sakura was shocked that I had been dating him, but, still she didn't say anything, she held me tight. "It's ok, Rika, it will all be ok." She hugged me tighter.
&----------------&
Sakura Kinomoto... I'll get you! Mark my words! I'll get you!
Ha! Who's the dark shadow? ... Well this chapter takes a little flip, again I apologize for not writing for such a long time... I hope you guys like this chapter... I'll continue in the other one... just give me some time to think about it...TT ahahaha... well, remember to review...!!!