Chapter Sixteen

Kagome smiled and waved at Kouga, from the relative dryness of the patio, as he ducked into his dark hued sedan. Icy rain streamed in torrents off the roof, forming a turbulent waterfall in front of her. Her smile faded around the edges as she watched the wolf youkai's car disappear down the street. He had a wife and children waiting for his return. Kouga was a father and husband, two terms she would never thought to associate with the wolf. In her mind he would always be the rakish, passionate, overconfident, pack leader, that had fought a loosing battle with Inuyasha for her heart.

She dropped her overstuffed bag, reminiscent of the old yellow one she carried on her journey through the Sengoku Jidai, and reached forward allowing the frigid rain to fall into her cupped palms. The bag was filled to the bursting point with her daughter's favorite belongings, items that would make the transition from the shrine to her father's home, she hoped, easier. Games, clothes and even the ratty teddy bear Jii-chan bought her when she was five, were in the bag. Gathering her things proved difficult for it seemed the items most important to the girl had vanished. Were simply gone, missing, leaving the bookshelves empty and the walls barren. Mitsukai had thrown them away, almost as if she wished to erase her presence from the world, to disappear without a trace. Sometimes Kagome had similar ambitions.

She breathed deeply the rain's clean, wintry fragrance. Unfathomable as it was, the crisp, unyielding, unfeeling cold comforted her. It was stable and made her feel safe, even as logic bade her to flee its loving embrace. Perhaps even the coldest of creatures were also the most caring. Their warmth forever protected and kept pure beneath the safeties of frost.

Her musings were interrupted by a tender kiss on her jaw and strong arms encircling her waist. Reflexively she leaned into him, smoothing her hand up his chest to stroke his jaw. Sesshoumaru kissed the top of her head and murmured niceties into her damp, inky waves. She stroked his wrists idly, silently pleased when he gripped her hand. "Is she okay?"

"Angry with me, but otherwise fine," he murmured while nuzzling her hair. "She's sleeping now." Kagome made a little, "oh," in understanding. She knew now he had told Mitsukai the truth.

Her heart sank and her prevalent worries resurfaced. Will Mitsukai hate me now? How could she not? As if sensing her distress, Sesshoumaru tightened his grip and placed his chin atop her head, rocking her slightly in place. The warmth of his chest burned through her damp clothes as she snuggled impossibly close to him. He was cold, dispassionate, and distant and, yet loved her beyond all reason. He deserves better, they both do.

Despite he dark thoughts, a coy smile graced her lips. She tilted her head back until she caught a glimpse his beautifully, impassive visage. When he did not meet her gaze she elbowed him playfully. "You didn't tell me Kouga-kun worked for you."

Sesshoumaru loosened his arms slightly and exhaled. He had not purposely kept Kouga's status a secret; he simply had other, more important matters on his mind. The wolf did what he was told and paid to accomplish. Over the centuries the wolf proved a more than adequate replacement for Jaken. What the wolf lacked in diplomacy he made up for in determination and the ability to take human form. Kouga and Kagura worked collectively on the more mundane, yet necessary, task of policing the nigh invisible youkai populace.

The couple held a friendly rivalry that, at times, turned underhanded, especially if Kagura believed she would ultimately lose. He did not particularly wish to speak or even think of Kouga, or is loquacious wife. However he felt he should indulge her, if for no other reason than she still held some affections for the wolf. "It never came up."

Kagome rolled her eyes and shook her head. Trust Sesshoumaru to be dismissive.

"Kagura and Kouga," she mused half to herself. A giggle spilled from her lips and her small frame shook with mirth. "If you have Kanna in locked closet somewhere, please tell me now," she demanded a bit overdramatically

Sesshoumaru's lips twitched in amusement at her antics. "She's my accountant," he answered dryly.

Kagome elbowed him once more, this time harder than before and laughed. He was teasing her, or at least that is what she hoped. "Jerk."

She twisted around in his arms and stood on tiptoe so that she could place a dainty kiss upon the end of his nose. His face was its customary blankness but his eyes were stricken. They were the gold of her daughter's eyes, their daughter's eyes. Though much the same, Mitsukai's eyes were subtly different, pure liquid gold with minuscule flecks of blue around the pupils. No matter how passively stoic Mitsukai appeared outwardly those eyes, fire of gold and the coolness of sapphire, always betrayed her. If the same held true from Sesshoumaru, some great tragedy befell him.

Kagome smiled softly, tenderly, and stroked his cheek where his stripes sometimes lay. His eyes swam for a moment and became empty, bottomless. It was as if he were retreating into himself, hiding his wounded heart from her prying eyes. Selfishly she was overjoyed. He was supposed to the strong one. That was his role, the one that granted her comfort. Her joy melted into guilt and she leaned forward pressing her forehead against the slightly fuzzy texture of his sweater. He had soothed her pain many times and now that he obviously needed comforting she desired nothing more than to brusquely turn him aside. "I'm sorry."

Confusion flowed over his elegant features and he tightened his embrace around her fragile form. He was uncertain for what she was apologizing but nevertheless he appreciated her words. Words from a child he barely knew and yet loved with unconditional infinitely slashed viciously at his soul. His daughter hated him, loathed him utterly and rightfully blamed him for her suffering. That her words were spoken in anguish and pain rather than malice did little to alleviate his grief. His hand grasped hers, pulling it towards his lips, he pressed a kiss into her palm. "Forgive me."

Her brow creased in bafflement and she shook her head not understanding. Sighing slightly he ran the back of his hand down her cheek as his eyes slid shut. He kissed her lips softly, then her eyes and forehead. Someone was crying, tiny, piteous, hiccupping sobs. Only distantly did Kagome register it was she. Crystalline tears streaked down her cheeks and he licked them away with delicate flicks of his tongue.

He kissed away her tears, each silvery drop, as he spoke a low mournful tone. His voice teetered between thoughtful and apologetic as his lips brushed feathery soft against her cheek. "I should never have sent you away."

Hot tears flooded down her cheeks with catching on her quivering lips. She sucked in a trembling breath and swallowed back a sob. "Sesshoumaru."

His frame shook as he held her, a fine tremor running through his taut frame. He picked her up and gently carried her into the house. Kagome licked away her tears with the tip of her tongue and smoothed her fingers through his hair. He pulled his head back, locking eyes with her for a moment and sighed once more resigned to the truth. "I cast you both aside for the sake of my foolish pride. Much of this-" his lips twisted, fighting to voice his thoughts and when that eluded him he settled for the truth as he saw it- "I was a coward."

She shook her head vigorously, unwilling to allow him to steal the blame that was solely, as she saw it, hers. "You didn't know."

He frowned, his face fixed in solemn lines as he carried her down the hall and into his bedroom. His conscience was not so easily soothed. "I knew the possibility."

In effort to alleviate his distress and perhaps her own, she clung to him, kissed his neck, rubbed her tongue along his overheated flesh while inhaling the sweet, slightly floral scent that was him. He brought his lips hard against hers and gently placed her on the bed. Her mouth opened slightly, allowing his tongue to stroke roughly against hers.

She entwined her arms around his neck kissing him, nipping at the corner of his mouth and jaw. He pulled away, his eyes holding hers as he slowly unbuttoned her blouse and slid her skirt down her narrow hips, pausing, before removing his own clothing. His mouth roamed feverishly down her breast, while his hand slipped between their bodies. She arched her hips in response and raked her nails through his hair and across his back.

Understanding filled her; Sesshoumaru need her, as much as she needed him. He loved her when she had nothing to deserve that affection and despite her protestations to the contrary a piece of her belonged to him, and him alone. Kagome smiled slightly up at him, her eyes alight with desire and a sort of tenderness as she ran her fingers along his jaw. Covering his mouth with hers, she allowed her mouth to speak the words her voice could not.

Sesshoumaru pulled away to press an open mouth kiss between her breasts. Kagome made a small whimper and dug her nails into his shoulder blade. He stroked her hair, combing the ebon locks into a fan round her face and kissed her delicately, as if she were made of glass. "I love you."

Kagome smiled softly, almost sadly and kissed his forehead. "I know." I wish you didn't.

Their lips met tenderly, his hands encircled her hips as his thumbs massaged her hips. His lips never leaving her he settled over her. Her hands caressed his graceful form chasing their pain into obscurity. Contentment, they knew would be fleeting, filled them, their bodies molding as they silently made love.

**

Mitsukai tossed in her sleep rolling from a fetal position to sprawled on her back. She blinked at the ceiling, her gold eyes glowing faintly in the dark room. When she realized the late hour she scowled and pushed herself up and drew her knees under her chin. After Sesshoumaru had returned her to his home, he had curtly demanded she rest to regain her squandered strength. She obeyed, if for no other reason than she would not have to speak to him. She had not meant to fall asleep.

Flinging back the downy comforter she rolled out of bed and gracefully to her feet. She hated him, or rather at the time believed she had. Now that she had time to think, to overcome her initial surprise, she was uncertain. She knew now what she was, why she was different. And that knowledge did not bring the peace she longed it would. She padded silently to the bedroom door and peered down the darkened hallway.

A nightlight burned dimly along the molding, lighting the hall in unsteady light. It was a rainbow with a heart shaped cloud; vaguely similar to the one her mother gave her when she was little. She had loved that light despite her ability to see in darkness as clear as day. Her lips twitched in a puzzled frown. Either the nightlight actually belonged to the little girl, Tsuki, or her father was channeling his inner child. She dismissed it with a shrug, it was just a light and there was no real need to ponder its origins. With silent, careful steps coupled with inhuman grace she crept down the hallway, into the living room and out the front door. She held the door carefully, taking extra care that it closed soundlessly.

The rain had slowed to a fine mist accented with tiny shards of soft ice. She hugged her arms reflexively though not truly cold and sat on the porch swing tucked in the far end of the patio. She swung back and forth gently, the swing's chain creaking softly as it moved. She sat for an hour, perhaps longer, watching the sky lighten as the sun climbed from the darkness. The sound of panicked, urgent footsteps sounded in her sensitive ears. Her mother was looking for her and this time she would make no effort to conceal her presence.

Kagome burst through the front door in a whirlwind of tussled hair and scared eyes. She breathed a sigh of relief and placed her palm against her heart as if trying to slow its rapid pace. She flung her arms around her daughter, pulling her impossibly close and sobbed into hair silken hair. "You scared me."

Mitsukai swallowed and looked away, her eyes stinging with tears she had sworn would never fall again. She stiffened in her mother's embrace. "Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"I…" Kagome shook her head and cupped her daughter's face forcing her to look at her. She knew full well her daughter's meaning. "Is that why you ran off?"

Mitsukai shrugged out of her mother's hold defiant that she would not look her mother in the eye. She brought her fist to her lips and nervously chewed her knuckles. Irrational anger once again filled her. When she was alone she could exonerate her parents of their real and imagined crimes, but not while one was sitting next to her. She was further agitated by a musky scent coupled with Sesshoumaru's own that permeated her mother's form. "Do you love him?" she snapped nastily.

Tears sprung in Kagome's eyes and shame filled her. In this instance would not lie to her only child, though her heart was still undecided. "No."

Mitsukai scowled, her eyes blazed in fury. Her stomach churned and bile boiled in her throat. "Then why did you?" She left the rest unspoken, her voice laced heavily with disgust.

Kagome flinched at the tone, but steeled herself enough to answer. "It's complicated."

She rose swiftly and stood before her daughter in silent request to drop the subject and return to the warmth of the house. Mitsukai ignored the plea, determined once and for all to have her questions answered. "Then explain it to me."

Kagome tugged the young girl's sleeve, her eyes flashing in annoyance. "I can't."

Mitsukai, 'Hmphed,' in a near perfect imitation of her father and crossed her arms over her chest. "You mean you won't."

Blue eyes hardened and thin lips twisted into a tight frown. She was unused and not fond of her daughter's apparent change in attitude. "I meant exactly what I said."

Mitsukai laughed a bitter, berating bray, her slender form shaking. Kagome gasped and instinctually back away. For the first time in her life, Mitsukai frightened her. Mitsukai's eyes gleamed behind narrowed lids, her face twisted into a snarl. "You don't love me."

Kagome gaped at her daughter in amazement. That's not true! Mitsukai took her stunned silence as admission of her rash assumption. She sniffed, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as she stood. Mitsukai sneered as she stalked around her mother's sobbing form. When she reached the steps leading to the cobblestone walk her mother found her voice.

"I do love you-" Kagome coughed back a sob. "You're my-"

Mitsukai smiled sweetly and caged her mother's face with her long, slender hands. Kagome sobbed and hugged her ignoring the cruel glint in the girl's eyes. Mitsukai pressed her forehead against her mother's. "I'm your dirty little secret."

Kagome shook her head vigorously in denial. Before she could deny her daughter's words a low, viscous growl filled the small patio. Sesshoumaru's hand closed over the back of Mitsukai's neck and he squeezed ever so slightly. He had been eavesdropping on their little 'discussion' and had finally heard enough.

"You will respect your mother," he commanded in a low, flat tone. A tone, had Mitsukai truly known her father, would have made her deathly afraid.

Kagome pleaded with her eyes at Sesshoumaru. The taiyoukai was furious and although she did not want to believe he would injury their child, she was unwilling to leave it to chance. "Sesshoumaru, please."

Sesshoumaru exhaled and closed his eyes for a moment trying to calm himself. Forcibly he turned Mitsukai in his grasp and glared into her fiery gaze. She struggled in his hold, a low, dangerous growl spilling from her lips, furious he would not release her. Her anger at Sesshoumaru was very different than that she felt for her mother. He was the painful truth of her existence. The answers she never truly wish to learn.

"I hate you," she spat, bearing her fangs.

The taiyoukai spared her a bored, almost thoughtful glance before striking her across the face with the flat of his hand. Kagome gasped and covered her mouth with her hands stifling her panicked cry. Sesshoumaru leaned forward and glared into Mitsukai's wide, startled eyes. He had not struck her hard, just enough that she understood such behavior was unacceptable. His chest rumbled in a growl, his breath heated in the cold morning air.

"Regardless you will obey me."

He released her suddenly , feeling slightly guilty as she gasped and rubbed her jaw. He loathed hitting her even if his expression did not convey his distaste. With a glance he forbid Kagome from tending to her, much to his surprise the miko obeyed. Sesshoumaru flicked his wrist and curtly pointed to door in a wordless command. Mitsukai glared at her parents with hate filled eyes and stalked into the house without a further word.

"She usually doesn't act like that," Kagome whispered, her voice quivering. She hugged herself tightly as tears streaked down her cheeks as she attempted to apologize for her daughter's actions. "I don't..know.."

Wordlessly Sesshoumaru wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried.