Well, this seems to be everyone's favorite chapter so far so there was not much to be done with it, though I did add some stuff. I hope it's pleasurable for all of my dedicated fans, hehe.
Chapter 3
Voldemort Summons his Death Eaters....at Wal-Mart.
The dawn sun beat down on the black pavement of the Wal-Mart parking lot, and all around, people with masks and robes were appearing out of thin air. They congregated in a circle around a man who was sitting on one of the swing-sets that were chained together and licking a lollypop.
"Why did you call us so early? And why here?" Snape said looking up at the large building with a look of utter disgust and wiping the early morning drool off his face.
"Today we're going to buy furnishings for our new hideout," said Voldemort with an excited smile on his face," you know, tables, chairs, those little adhesive butterflies that you can stick on the windows..."
"Underground hideout's don't have windows," said Lucius at once. But, at the look on Voldemort's face he backed away behind Peter. Lucius remembered the events in the bushes the other day too well. He didn't want to repeat it.
"Also," said Voldemort,"We need some Death Eater stationary. Something that will really strike fear into the hearts of the weakminded! Like verticle lines or polka-dots!" Voldemort smiled proudly.
"Ooh!" sang Peter. "I'll go get the stationary! Can I Daddy? Can I?" Peter then proceded to jump up and down like a thirteen year old girl who's just got tickets to a Backstreet Boy's concert. He then realized he only had one leg and fell over at once.
"Of course," simpered Voldemort, very pleased with Peter's eagerness." Now I assign each of you some extremely evil and offensice items to get, as we don't have much of a budget get something EVIL looking, but at the cheapest price. Lucius, you can get the little adhesive butterflies since I know you like them so much."
Lucius stepped out from behind Peter and went sobbing into the store,"Daddy doesn't love me!!!!"
"Crabbe and Goyle, since you two can't operate without one another you can go get a table and chairs."
Crabbe and Goyle then proceded to the "OUT" door of the store and couldn't figure out why the door wasn't opening. Voldemort ignored them.
"Severus, you can get a ping-pong table for Peter. I'm off to Circut City to get a lap top and then to Anthony's Sex Shop, Bar, and Grill to get some personal items, I'll meet you back here." Voldemort disapparated.
Snape walked into the store mumbling something about what a stupid job it was to get a ping-pong table and how Voldemort never took him to Anthony's. He passed Crabbe and Goyle still trying to get through the "OUT" door and went straight to the "toy" section.
Meanwhile, Peter was checking out the stationary.
"Flowers or Bubbles?" Peter mused. "Flowers or Bubbles? Oh, Severus? Should I get Flowers or Bubb..."
He then caught sight of a PowerPuff Girls notebook, complete with stickers and cute little gel pen with a feather on the end.
Dramatic music played in the background and a choir started to sing as Peter reached for the PowerPuff Girls stationary. A strange light emanated from the fluorescent ceiling of the store, shining one straight beam of light onto the very shelf on which it sat. He checked the price.
"$5.95!!! I could buy two Flower stationaries for that!," Peter thought to himself. Peter shrugged. Hey, it was Powerpuff Girls!
Peter walked toward the cashier and on his way passed Lucius, looking very amused as he read the back of a box of condoms.
"Check the toy section," Peter said to Lucius.
"I gotta try these," Lucius muttered as he stuffed the box into his robes. He then went off to the toy section.
Severus, however was very pleased with himself, he had just found the last toy ping-pong table and it also converted into a pool table. As he was examining it a stout woman with a red handbag walked up with a small child.
"I want that, Mommy," said the boy, pointing at the package in Snape's arms.
"Excuse me, gentle sir," said the woman. Severus knew what was coming. "My son wants this and he ALWAYS gets what he wants. Is there any way we could have that?"
"No!" shouted Snape. Just who did this woman think she was messing with? "This gift is for my Master. He will be very pleased. And what could this tiny little prick want with it anyway, he's clearly weakminded and pathetic. He doesn't have the coordination required to hit a ping-pong ball nor the intellegence to hold the paddle."
The woman, now very angry, slapped Snape across the face and then proceded to snatch the package from his arms. Snape reached inside his robes for his wand, but this only proved to worsen the situation. The woman screamed "RAPE!!" then shrieked for "Security". Snape ran, but not before he snatched up the first toy he could get his hands on. Voldemort would not be happy if he came back empty-handed. He passed Lucius on his way to the check-out, looking at some adhesive butterflies.
"Hmmm," said Lucius. "Are these the kind he's talking about?" He shrugged his shoulders, grabbed two packs and proceded to the check out.
"$4.99," said the cashier.
With a flourish, Lucius whipped out his handy dandy credit card and swiped it... again... and again... and again...
After Lucius had finished playing with the credit card and checked out, he went to join the others outside. He walked through the "OUT" door and into Crabbe and Goyle. An alarm started to sound.
A big burly security guard caught up with Lucius and demanded he empty his pockets. Lucius did so. He had forgotten the pack of condoms.
"Come with me," said the security guard in a deep and rumbling voice as he held up the pack of condoms. "I'll show you how to use... I mean, I need to give you a spank... I mean, you're in trouble!"
"Why is it always me?" asked a frightened Lucius as he was man handled into the guard's office.
A jealous Voldemort then asked to speak to the guard in private. There were shrieks and screams and several flashes of green light later Voldemort walked out of the store with a grin on his face and they all apparated back to the Forbidden Forest.
"Thanks, Voldemort!" Lucius said when they had gotten to the forest.
"CRUCIO" shrieked Voldemort. "How many time's do I have to tell you? Call me Daddy! I only do this because I love you."
Well, what did you think? Review!!
Chapter 3
Voldemort Summons his Death Eaters....at Wal-Mart.
The dawn sun beat down on the black pavement of the Wal-Mart parking lot, and all around, people with masks and robes were appearing out of thin air. They congregated in a circle around a man who was sitting on one of the swing-sets that were chained together and licking a lollypop.
"Why did you call us so early? And why here?" Snape said looking up at the large building with a look of utter disgust and wiping the early morning drool off his face.
"Today we're going to buy furnishings for our new hideout," said Voldemort with an excited smile on his face," you know, tables, chairs, those little adhesive butterflies that you can stick on the windows..."
"Underground hideout's don't have windows," said Lucius at once. But, at the look on Voldemort's face he backed away behind Peter. Lucius remembered the events in the bushes the other day too well. He didn't want to repeat it.
"Also," said Voldemort,"We need some Death Eater stationary. Something that will really strike fear into the hearts of the weakminded! Like verticle lines or polka-dots!" Voldemort smiled proudly.
"Ooh!" sang Peter. "I'll go get the stationary! Can I Daddy? Can I?" Peter then proceded to jump up and down like a thirteen year old girl who's just got tickets to a Backstreet Boy's concert. He then realized he only had one leg and fell over at once.
"Of course," simpered Voldemort, very pleased with Peter's eagerness." Now I assign each of you some extremely evil and offensice items to get, as we don't have much of a budget get something EVIL looking, but at the cheapest price. Lucius, you can get the little adhesive butterflies since I know you like them so much."
Lucius stepped out from behind Peter and went sobbing into the store,"Daddy doesn't love me!!!!"
"Crabbe and Goyle, since you two can't operate without one another you can go get a table and chairs."
Crabbe and Goyle then proceded to the "OUT" door of the store and couldn't figure out why the door wasn't opening. Voldemort ignored them.
"Severus, you can get a ping-pong table for Peter. I'm off to Circut City to get a lap top and then to Anthony's Sex Shop, Bar, and Grill to get some personal items, I'll meet you back here." Voldemort disapparated.
Snape walked into the store mumbling something about what a stupid job it was to get a ping-pong table and how Voldemort never took him to Anthony's. He passed Crabbe and Goyle still trying to get through the "OUT" door and went straight to the "toy" section.
Meanwhile, Peter was checking out the stationary.
"Flowers or Bubbles?" Peter mused. "Flowers or Bubbles? Oh, Severus? Should I get Flowers or Bubb..."
He then caught sight of a PowerPuff Girls notebook, complete with stickers and cute little gel pen with a feather on the end.
Dramatic music played in the background and a choir started to sing as Peter reached for the PowerPuff Girls stationary. A strange light emanated from the fluorescent ceiling of the store, shining one straight beam of light onto the very shelf on which it sat. He checked the price.
"$5.95!!! I could buy two Flower stationaries for that!," Peter thought to himself. Peter shrugged. Hey, it was Powerpuff Girls!
Peter walked toward the cashier and on his way passed Lucius, looking very amused as he read the back of a box of condoms.
"Check the toy section," Peter said to Lucius.
"I gotta try these," Lucius muttered as he stuffed the box into his robes. He then went off to the toy section.
Severus, however was very pleased with himself, he had just found the last toy ping-pong table and it also converted into a pool table. As he was examining it a stout woman with a red handbag walked up with a small child.
"I want that, Mommy," said the boy, pointing at the package in Snape's arms.
"Excuse me, gentle sir," said the woman. Severus knew what was coming. "My son wants this and he ALWAYS gets what he wants. Is there any way we could have that?"
"No!" shouted Snape. Just who did this woman think she was messing with? "This gift is for my Master. He will be very pleased. And what could this tiny little prick want with it anyway, he's clearly weakminded and pathetic. He doesn't have the coordination required to hit a ping-pong ball nor the intellegence to hold the paddle."
The woman, now very angry, slapped Snape across the face and then proceded to snatch the package from his arms. Snape reached inside his robes for his wand, but this only proved to worsen the situation. The woman screamed "RAPE!!" then shrieked for "Security". Snape ran, but not before he snatched up the first toy he could get his hands on. Voldemort would not be happy if he came back empty-handed. He passed Lucius on his way to the check-out, looking at some adhesive butterflies.
"Hmmm," said Lucius. "Are these the kind he's talking about?" He shrugged his shoulders, grabbed two packs and proceded to the check out.
"$4.99," said the cashier.
With a flourish, Lucius whipped out his handy dandy credit card and swiped it... again... and again... and again...
After Lucius had finished playing with the credit card and checked out, he went to join the others outside. He walked through the "OUT" door and into Crabbe and Goyle. An alarm started to sound.
A big burly security guard caught up with Lucius and demanded he empty his pockets. Lucius did so. He had forgotten the pack of condoms.
"Come with me," said the security guard in a deep and rumbling voice as he held up the pack of condoms. "I'll show you how to use... I mean, I need to give you a spank... I mean, you're in trouble!"
"Why is it always me?" asked a frightened Lucius as he was man handled into the guard's office.
A jealous Voldemort then asked to speak to the guard in private. There were shrieks and screams and several flashes of green light later Voldemort walked out of the store with a grin on his face and they all apparated back to the Forbidden Forest.
"Thanks, Voldemort!" Lucius said when they had gotten to the forest.
"CRUCIO" shrieked Voldemort. "How many time's do I have to tell you? Call me Daddy! I only do this because I love you."
Well, what did you think? Review!!