Chapter 17: The Animal Within
It had been just short of a miracle that all four Gryffindors simultaneously found an excuse to skip their next two meals. That Molly Weasley had allowed this to happen was only less amazing then the fact that Ron Weasley hadn't killed himself or the others during his torturous abstention from food. So, it wasn't surprising when they gathered to sneak off to the training chambers that everyone in the house, including Ginny, had done their best to avoid the irritable red-head.
"Do you know how soon after we take this blasted potion I can eat?" Ron moaned to no one in particular as they stood around the potions table in the chamber.
Neville looked up like he wanted to know the answer to that question as well, but didn't want to seem rude by asking it. Harry glanced nervously at the two boys as he realized in his haste to get started with the transformation that he never found out the answer to that question. "You can eat as soon as you like after taking the form identifying potion. However, it is recommended that you wait until you have experienced a vision of your animal before you do so." Hermione rattled off, pleased with herself.
"Argh!" Ron whined, "How long does it usually take to have the vision?"
Harry spoke up before Hermione could get a word out of her already opened mouth. "It depends on the person, some people have it right away others will have the vision as a dream when their sleeping." Hermione shut her mouth and nodded slightly that she agreed.
Ron's stomach grumbled loud enough for everyone to hear, "That's right Binny, you tell them that we better have our vision right away."
The three students watched Ron like he had lost his mind. "Please tell me you didn't name your stomach." Hermione deadpanned.
Ron looked up with his familiar vacant expression, "What? Like you lot haven't named your stomachs." His reply only garnered three expressionless glares as another grumble by Ron's "Binny" broke the awkward silence.
"That's your best friend." Harry stated to Hermione as if announcing the witch's claim on Ron.
Hermione shook her head refuting the claim, "Na-uh, he was your best friend first, I just felt obligated after you two rescued me from that mountain troll."
"To hell with both of you," Ron said with an affronted look, "Neville's my best friend." He through his arm around said boy.
"Er, I think maybe you should be best friends with your Binny." Neville replied teasingly.
Ron's stomach grumbled again, "It's okay Binny, you're the only one who understands me anyway." Three disapproving looks returned to meet the hungry boy's gaze. "Stuff it already. Are we going to neck this potion or what?"
Harry stared for a moment longer before answering, "Few more things. Once you get your vision, it's very important that you pay as much attention as you possibly can to every sensation you experience." Harry paused to make sure they were paying attention, "Every sensation." He emphasized.
"That's why it's better that you not eat until you have your vision, as the point of being on an empty stomach is to reduce the sensations associated with human comestible satiety." Hermione interjected.
It was a comment that put her on the receiving end of three queer stares. "Maybe I'm just suffering deliria from a lack of food, but did Hermione just speak another language?" Ron quipped.
The young witch tried to put on a disapproving look, but faltered when she noticed the other two wizards nodding their agreement with Ron. "It means that you need to have an empty stomach so that your body doesn't confuse the feeling of digestion with what you're supposed to be feeling in your animal form."
The boys donned expressions of understanding. "At this point I don't care what my associations are, I'll take the potion for no other reason than to get something in my Binn - er stomach." Ron stated.
Hermione started separating the potion into the appropriate portions for each of them. "Now, like Harry said, we must pay very close attention to whatever we feel when we have our visions. The Marauder's notes said that it's the connection of what it feels like to be the animal that you focus on to affect the transformation. It also says that one particular sensation will stand out, and that it may be physical or emotional. That sensation will most likely be the trigger you need to focus on first to start the transformation."
Another grumble echoed from Ron's stomach. "Fine, pay attention to the sensations, I get it already. Can we please just take the potion so that I can get to eating?" He moaned.
"Damn it Ron!" Harry snapped, "This isn't like some divination class! We are doing this because we want to, because it can help us fight Voldemort, because…we owe it to Remus. If missing a couple of meals is too much of an inconvenience for you than may you should just stop now."
If it weren't for the emotions Ron felt behind Harry's words he would have blasted his friend with a rant of his own. "Fine – 'm sorry." He forced.
"The two of you stop it!" Hermione glowered. "Here," she handed Neville, who was the closest to her, a dose of the Form Identifying Potion. "I suggest we take the potion one at a time so we can see if there is an immediate reaction. This way we can each learn and help the others as we each have a go." Hermione looked expectantly at Neville.
Neville didn't look to happy about being the first to go, in fact he eyed Ron hoping that the boys profound hunger would encourage him to go first. "Come on then, drink up." Hermione said impatiently.
With no other options, Neville raised the glass to his mouth and downed the dose in one shot. The others stared anxiously waiting for a reaction, and Neville stood stock still anticipating the worst. They waited like this for a good two or three minutes, until Ron's stomach once again broke the silence with a complaining grumble.
"For Merlin's sake give Ron the potion already!" Harry commanded.
Hermione was startled by the sudden outburst and reached quickly to the potion table to retrieve another dose of the potion for Ron. The boy didn't waste any time examining the potion and drank it down greedily. After he cleared the initial dose, he tilted the glass back up and waited for every last remnant of the liquid to fall into his mouth. The last thing he saw was Hermione shaking her head at him before he felt his body seize up and heard the glass he was holding break on the floor.
The feel of the warm sun and a gentle breeze rolling through his fur was soothing. He looked down and saw long blades of grass tickling his nose, the smell of multiple scents were easily distinguishable to him. Suddenly he wanted to roll in the grass and run around the field surrounding him. There was a flash and now he was running fast. The air was pushing his fur back against his skin, and his body felt taunt – like it was springing against itself with each stride. Another flash, it was night and he could see the dark world around him clear as ever. The air pushed through his fur on the left side of his body and he heard the sound of something small scurrying through the grass some distance from him. Soon after he could smell the small creature and was instantly compelled to stalk. His body lowered stealthily into the field, where his fur muffled the sounds of the grass breaking under his body. Stalking, he watched his two padded front paws softly step through the field. The scent of his prey only feet away his body tensed as the small creature shifted quickly. In an instant he was in the air, the breeze rushing through his fur, his keen eyes spotting the field mouse that was trying to blend in with its surroundings.
"Ron…Ron!" All of a sudden a stinging pain burned the side of Ron's face. "Ron open you eyes!"
Harry raised his hand and then slapped Ron across the face again. "He's opening his eyes, and I felt his muscles finally relax." Another smack, "Open your eyes Ron."
"Harry do you really think it's necessary to smack him like that?" Hermione pleaded.
"Are you kidding, I still owe him a couple more." Harry said. "After all the times he smacked me when I got to Grimmauld Place – just evening up the score is all." Harry laid another one across Ron's face.
"Ahhh…you prat, stop hitting me." Ron moaned as he opened his eyes.
"Are you alright Ron?" Neville asked
"I'm fine, except my face hurts a little. I'll have you know that Madam Pomfrey approved of my slapping you Harry." Ron said as he sat up, "What happened?"
"We actually were hoping you'd be able to answer that. Did you see what your form was?" Hermione asked. "What was it like? What did you feel? Does it hurt?"
"Hermione!" Harry yelled. "Give him a second to gather his thoughts."
"This coming from the guy who was smacking me like a bludger." Ron stood up and was greeted with another rumble from his stomach. "Wow, that was weird…it was so real. Why did you wake me up I was just about to get that little mouse?"
"You started moving again, and your eyes flashed open before they rolled back into your head. It was kind of freaky to see, so I started smacking you hoping that it would rouse you out of the vision." Harry answered. "What do you mean you were about to get a mouse? Were you a cat or something?"
Ron tightened his expression in thought, "I don't know, I don't think I was a cat. I really didn't get a look at myself; it was more that I was the animal. I actually remember everything, it wasn't even like I was…me…I mean like the human me." Ron shook his head, "it was really weird."
Neville looked at Ron with apprehension, "But it didn't hurt or anything right?"
"No the only thing that hurts is my face." He shot Harry another dirty look. "How long was I out?"
"About thirty minutes. It looked like something had put a full body bind on you when you were unconscious." Hermione answered. "All of sudden you went stiff as a board and dropped your empty vial. If you hadn't fallen towards Harry you'd probably have suffered a concussion from the fall."
"You didn't move at all the whole time you were out." Harry continued, "You just laid there with your arms stiffly at your side and your legs straight. I didn't start slapping you until I saw your eyes flash open and your body loosen up a bit."
Harry and Hermione ushered Ron over to a chair at the potions table. Even before the boy was settled the three of them went into a chorus of question and answers. Where Harry and Hermione asked what he saw, and Ron continued replying with what it felt like. They gathered from Ron's answers and his description of what he saw in his legs and paws that he wasn't some sort of cat.
The reverie of conversation was broken by the sound of another vial breaking and the bone-shaking thud of Neville's body falling stiffly onto the stone floor. The three Gryffindors immediately ran to the boy's side to check for injury. Fortunately none were evident, but it was obvious that Neville had gone into his vision.
The sound of water rolling through a brook filled his ears and the scent of fish was in the air. As he took in his surroundings his mind was filled with a benign sense of power and authority. In the back of his mind he knew that his might was unequaled, but right now he would be happier frolicking in the brook than worrying about such a pointless feature. He walked without discretion or care, a liberty earned from not having to worry about anything being able to hinder his path.
He carelessly meandered to the water's edge, and felt the weight of his body exerting a forward momentum that would lead him to greater speeds when necessary. With each step the earth gave way, though his feet were too heavily padded for him to actually feel the ground beneath. There was a flash and suddenly he was looking down into the water. He wanted something to play with, but nothing was there for him. Another flash and he was in the water, rolling about until the cool water soaked his heavy fur undercoat. He stumbled clumsily on the slippery rocks beneath the water and felt a great energy grow inside him. The world flashed again and it took much longer to return to his brook. He was standing on his hind feet, enraged at what was happening. He focused the emotion into a defiant moaning growl that shook the trees around him. A final flash and the world was gone.
"Neville," A voice called softly. "Neville wake up." He felt a soft hand over his forehead that only briefly delayed the onset of a splitting headache. "Neville, try not to move just open your eyes." He heard the request but all he wanted was to go back to the brook, back to where he felt comfortable.
"Should I go and get Remus Harry?" Ron asked. "He looks like he's in a lot of pain."
Neville finally opened his eyes and the pain that poured in from behind them instantly made him regret it. "Why does my head hurt so much?" he asked.
"I'm so sorry Neville, I got so caught up with listening to Ron tell us about his vision that I completely forgot you had not had yours yet." Hermione said.
Harry stepped into vision above Neville, "You fell pretty hard onto the stone floor. The three of us were too busy carrying on about Ron's vision to notice that you had gone stiff. Sorry about that Neville, I feel pretty awful."
"It's okay guys, I should have been paying attention myself." Neville said knowing that his admission was pretty stupid. "I don't think that you need to get Professor Lupin, I only have a headache."
It took the other three students a bit of restraint, but eventually they couldn't hold in their questions any longer. "So what did you see?" Ron was the first to ask. "Wasn't it weird, but in a good way?"
Neville smiled boyishly, "It was pretty cool, I've never felt that way before."
Hermione opened her mouth and then paused before she finally spoke, "But Neville, I don't think you would have ever felt like an animal before." Harry nodded, but Ron looked like he understood what Neville was saying.
"No I don't mean the animal part, though that was really wicked, I'm talking about how…confident I felt. It was like there was nothing that could bother me."
"I don't get it Neville, animals don't feel confidence, do they?" Hermione asked.
"No it's not like that Hermione, it's like a behavior that is a part of you. Sort of like how you think of yourself as a part of the world around you." Ron answered suddenly from over the girls shoulder.
Neville's eyes opened a little wider, "That's exactly what it's like, I wasn't sure how to describe it myself."
"I know, I've been trying to figure a way to put it into words since I had my vision." Ron added. "I felt like I could do anything without being detected. Like when I was sneaking up on that mouse, I knew better than it did what it was aware of – if that makes sense."
"So what else did you see Neville?" Harry asked. "You didn't get a chance to see what you looked like I guess."
"Actually, I-I think I did. Well I saw my face at least." Neville said as he thought back to the scenes of his vision. "I was looking for something to play with in the brook, a fish or something. But now that I think about it, I could see my reflection in the water." Neville saw the others eyeing him expectantly. "I was a bear." He said meekly.
There was a pause before anyone reacted, and Neville was beginning to think that no one believed him. "Wicked!" Ron shouted all of sudden, startling both Hermione and Ron. "Well come on you two, get to drinking your potions!" Ron encouraged. "Neville and I will be talking about our visions while you're out."
Harry didn't need to be told twice, and headed back over to the potions table where he took down his dose all at once. Hermione did the same, but didn't feel the need to be in such a hurry about it. After she was done she sat on the floor next to the potions table. It took Harry a second, but he soon realized the wisdom of the girl's idea and joined her.
"You two hurry up, I'm not going to wait around forever." Ron said and his stomach grumbled. "Binny's still starving and I'm not one to keep her waiting."
It was two more hours before Ron and his Binny gave up waiting on Harry or Hermione to experience their visions. Neville surprised everyone by taking the Marauder's notes to the library section and studying through them. Unfortunately this left Harry and Hermione alone, sitting uncomfortably on the stone floor. The two had run out of conversation some time ago and were now relegated to finding new ways to relieve their sore bottoms.
"This is getting ridiculous Hermione. We could be here all day and night waiting for our visions." Harry said.
"Well I don't know what else we can do, if we go upstairs then someone might be around when we go into our vision. If we get up and do stuff we risk hurting ourselves like Neville. If we go…"
From atop the trees the world seemed so accessible. The interweaving branches and vines were her highway to travel the forest and at this very moment that was all she wanted to do. She launched herself into the air and was easily swinging from branch to vine in fluid motions that were sudden yet graceful. A bullet through the trees, every movement calculated, and the path of travel pre-determined. The wind howled in her ears so clearly and she could feel it push against the hair on the side of her face. In mid swing the world flashed and now she was resting again. Immediately she noticed a large bow in the tree across from her and knew that it would be much more comfortable place to rest. Using her hands and feet she flung herself into the air, and utilized her tail as a counter-leaver to guide her safely to the destination. The tail was such a prominent feature; with every movement she made the appendage played a dominant role. With a flash she was no longer in the trees. She was sitting on the ground and immediately it felt uncomfortable. The range of vision was so much more limited and her tail seemed useless. She looked around anxiously for sign of a threat but none were present. Deciding that she was safe she began shuffling through the foliage for a taste of something different. A final flash and the trees were gone.
"Welcome back, you were out for awhile," Harry looked down at the watch the girl gave him for his birthday, "almost an hour."
Hermione sat up and looked around the chamber. Ron and Neville had both returned while she was having her vision and were now finishing off the remnants of some food. Even in her weary state Hermione was able to conjure a scolding look at the boys' rudeness.
"So what did you see Hermione?" Ron mumbled through a full mouth.
Hermione was hesitant to admit what she understood her animal form to be. In her vision she felt so carefree and it seemed to contradict the stream of thought she always kept as a human. "I-I was a…monkey."
"A monkey!" Harry and Ron yelled at the same time.
"I know I'm so embarrassed. This can't be right. You must have done something wrong when you made the potion Harry. How could I be a monkey, it's nothing like who I am?" She whined.
"Well my vision was of a bear." Neville said quietly. "I don't really think that I have a lot in common with that animal."
"How did it feel?" Ron asked.
"What do you mean, how did it fell? It felt like I was a…damn monkey." Hermione replied barely able to contain her anger. "You know a long tailed, tree swinging, stupid little monkey!"
"That's not what I meant and I think you know that." Ron said crossly.
"What did it feel like when you came back from your vision and remembered what it was like to be the animal?" Neville said calmly, and received a nod of approval from Ron. "Did it not feel right, like you had been somewhere that you always belonged?" Ron added.
Hermione was fighting with the disgust she felt for having to admit to what the boys were hinting at. "I guess." She said solemnly.
"A matter of will…" Harry said to no one in particular. He recalled when Sirius told him how some people find out their animal forms and never want anything to do with them – afraid to admit what it might mean to them as a person. "If you don't accept it Hermione, you'll never be able to be an animagus."
The four students waited a couple more hours for Harry to have his vision, but as they were keen to observe now, dinnertime was soon approaching. Harry continued to remind them that he might not have his vision until he was sleeping that night. A point which inspired Neville to remind his friend again about the Shimmering Scybiscus. Pressed by time and hunger, the four students returned upstairs.
Harry quickly retreated to his bedroom hoping that he didn't go into a vision before he got there. The other three students remained downstairs in the kitchen, all happy to eat a proper dinner, but also to cover for Harry who was missing his fourth straight meal. The atmosphere at the dinner table was quiet. Remus did his best to avoid eye contact with any of the students as they offered an excuse for Harry's absence. And the students did their best to avoid eye contact from a very leery Ginny Weasley.
Harry lay upstairs on his bed listening to his stomach growl relentlessly. He and Neville had decided to perform the routine with the Shimmering Scybiscus after he had his vision, this way there was no risk that the liquid from the plant would interfere with the Form Identifying potion. At this moment, the small vial of milky liquid sitting on his nightstand looked as appealing as a five-course meal. His stomach growled loudly once more, and Harry began passing the time by thinking of different names he could call his stomach. Ruble, Gooby, Bambles, Trimmy…
Harry felt his body go ridged but he never lost sight of the ceiling above him. Something was jerking violently at his mind, forcing his thoughts away from their conscious stream. It wasn't painful, it just felt like a strong pull on some unknown and numb part inside his head. Just as suddenly it stopped. The room flashed to black and white and he no longer felt a connection to the rest of his body.
The air around him felt stale and dead, there was no life in the room aside from his own and it purveyed a sense of loneliness. He could hear the distinct sound of voices from beneath him and the need to be near other life pulled him towards them. He flew across the room making sure to stay near the shadows, a place where he would be blanketed from sight. Through the door, his wings fluttered silently through the house as he flew down the hall high above the floor. As he passed a door near the end of the hall he sensed the life of a small magical creature, one that his spirit knew and held an affinity for. But the pull was to the life forms in the kitchen and so his flight continued down the stairs and into the shadows of the living room. The door to the kitchen was closed but such physical means of passage weren't necessary, he flew into the shadow above the door and passed easily to the shadow on the other side.
Without a sound his black wings opened to slow his landing and he perched on a wooden support beam above the kitchen. Instantly he connected with all the life in the room, feeling the various emotions and energy that flowed through the people below. In total six people occupied the kitchen, each burning with their respective auras. There was a tension in the room, the small female who shared blood with two others was the main source, and she was making no attempt to ease the comfort of those she was angry with. Another, the one whose second spirit controlled him, was aware of the tension but this man was not willing take action on it.
He studied the individuals as he let their life's fire fill him. Three of the six had just awoken their second spirits, but the man in the room was infected by another spirit. It seemed that he at one time had shared a spirit like most other human life, but the creature that filled him now had destroyed it. The man had an aura that battled itself which was apparent by the two colors of his aura that were constantly fighting for supremacy. From his perch he knew that he could sample what the man was experiencing from this battle, but the idea wasn't an appealing one.
Having his full of life's flow from the individuals he decided to exit the stale and lifeless house he was awoken in. He fell into the shadow and traveled through it until he was free of the structure. The woods behind the house provided him a sense of ecstasy he now realized he was longing for all along. The plants burned intensely with the amber glow of their spirit, and the voice of the forest welcomed him like he was family. He listened to the conversations of the plants and animals, the clear dialogue of life without benevolence or malice. It was a harmony of constant change, of life dying and being born anew, a system that over the millennia had reached near perfection.
There was a flash and he could sense that his body was calling him to return. The separation had intrigued him, but why question the reasons when you can enjoy such a rare freedom as this.
Another flash, and he was witnessing his favorite occurrence. An animal had died, and now all of the parts of life responsible for recycling the body were at full force. It was always beautiful to witness this part of death. At no other point in that animal's life had its body glowed with so many different colors. It was like witnessing a rainbow explode as the insects, bacteria, and earth were all born from the passing of this animal's life into theirs. The world flashed again and the colors were gone.
"Harry, Harry please…"
Harry heard the sound of a girl's voice crying his name, something warm landed on his cheek and was dripping down the side of his face. He knew where he was, and remembered what he just experienced, but all he could see around him was gray. Then a bright orange light moved into his field of vision.
"Harry – you have to wake up!"
Eventually Harry put it together that he had just experienced his animagus vision; he just wasn't sure what to make of it. He could feel his body again, but the world was still in black and white. As he sat up he recognized his surroundings and also saw a very panic-stricken Ginny covered in an orange aura.
"Harry, oh thank goodness Harry, you're alive." Ginny said frantically.
"Ginny what are you doing? What's wrong with you?" Harry really wanted the young woman to calm down. With all of the confusion he was suffering from the vision he just had, the added burden of feeling Ginny's panic-stricken emotions was too much.
"What's wrong with me?" Ginny yelled in disbelief.
Before she could begin her next sentence everything became clear to Harry. If he could see her with her aura and if she was freaking out when he woke up, then Ginny must have come in to see him lying stiff on his bed and now she was seeing him with his black eyes.
"Ginny I'm fine, please just give me a second." Harry pleaded. He tried to return his eyes to normal, but for some reason he couldn't. In fact he couldn't focus his mind on anything else but the vision he just had. He tried to wrap his mind around what kind of animal he could have been.
There were wings, I remember the wings. And I perched…but the shadows…I was traveling into shadows.
"Harry…" Ginny tried to say calmly.
Ginny was in my vision, and so was everyone else. Was it real, did my animal form see what was really happening?
"Harry, there's something wrong." Ginny said as if she was trying to brace Harry for some bad news.
My vision was aware of me? But Sirius said our animal forms would have a mind of their own until we learned to blend them with our human mind.
"It's your eyes Harry, there something happening to you that is making your eyes all black with green specs in them." She said with only a little shakiness in her voice.
"Where you in the kitchen with everyone else earlier?" Harry asked.
Ginny paused wondering if whatever was causing his black eyes was also affecting his hearing. "Your eyes are black Harry."
"You were mad at Ron and Hermione…and Remus…he was trying to ignore that you were mad." Harry continued.
Ginny grabbed Harry by his shoulders and forced him to look at her. She had to fight not to look away as those horrible black eyes bore into her own. "Harry, listen to me. Something is wrong, and we have to get you to Madam Pomfrey. I don't know if you can understand me, but your eyes are black and when I found you up here your body was stiff like it had been petrified."
Ginny's methodic delivery snapped Harry from his ponderings, though he wasn't happy about it. "Damn it Ginny, I know about my eyes okay? There's nothing wrong with me!" he yelled.
The tone of his voice had hurt the young witch. Not only did her aura flash green but it also filled him with a terrible feeling of loneliness. "Then it's true, you all are hiding things from me." She said plainly.
"Hiding things." Harry repeated.
"Don't play stupid Harry. All of you have been disappearing somewhere these past two days, I find you up here unconscious and apparently petrified, neither Hermione nor Ron will look me in the eyes, and when I tell you that yours are black you act like it's no big deal!" Ginny waited for Harry's reaction but received none. "For Merlin's sake Harry, Ron skipped two meals, and that hasn't happened ever!"
"We weren't trying to hide anything from you Ginny, and I'm sure that Ron and Hermione were just afraid to say something because they thought I would be mad."
"Well why didn't you include me to begin with?"
"It wasn't that we tried to exclude you, but you were with your mum and…"
"And instead of finding a way to fit me in, you thought it would be easier to let me be a distraction for her. Thanks a lot!" Ginny said with a red face.
"It's not like that at all Ginny we just…" Harry wasn't sure how to explain that they had forgotten the girl in their haste to start the animagus training.
"Just what?" She demanded.
"There were just so many things going on, it wasn't like we intentionally left you out." Harry said unconvincingly. "And you were with your mu…"
"Forget it, I don't want to hear it!" Ginny clinched her fists and glared angrily at Harry, "It doesn't matter what I do does it? You are all going to treat me like Ron's little sister forever! I was at the ministry just like the rest of you last year!" Ginny's tone lowered but her voice was still harsh, "I thought after all of our letters this summer that you were starting to see me as my own person. Not as the little girl you rescued from the Chamber of Secrets." She was shaking trying to hold in her rage.
Harry half expected the girl to cry, but she didn't, she was angry and trying to cover up how hurt she felt. If he hadn't been able to feel her emotions through her aura he might have actually been convinced by the façade.
"It's not anything like that Ginny. We were just to anxious and didn't wait for a time to find you away from your mum." Harry thought that admitting the truth was actually better than what she believed.
"Right, like I'm going to believe that sorry excuse."
Harry tried again to stop his sight, he was sure that Ginny was never going to believe him as long as she saw some demon looking wizard in front of her. Unable to do so, he turned his head to the floor instead. "It's the truth Ginny, I swear."
"And now you can't even look me in the eyes." She snapped. "I'm so sick of this!"
Harry wasn't sure if he was more concerned about telling her that he turned his stare away because he didn't want her to have to see his black eyes, or that he was astonished because she wasn't disturbed at having to look into them. "I don't know what to say Ginny, we didn't mean it, really."
Ginny remained quiet for a moment, "Fine, prove it."
That managed to turn Harry's stare back at the girl. "Ginny you don't have to demand that we include you to prove that I'm not lying. I just made a mistake by not finding time to let you know what we were up to. Really, we all want you there."
"No, I mean prove that you want me around. That you don't just see me as Ron's little sister." She said.
The sudden nervousness that swept over Harry was strong enough to tear the sight from his eyes. He was happy to be able to see normally again, but the sudden lack of clarity that came with it confounded his confusion. "Um…well…w-what – er how I mean?"
A quick roll of the eyes and an audible sigh indicated that Ginny wasn't pleased with Harry's reaction. "That's exactly what I'm talking about." She paused long enough to recognize that Harry's eyes had returned to normal, but didn't let the change phase her outward image. "Relax don Juan, that's not what I'm getting at."
Harry managed to return his jaw to his face before vocalizing a fairly unintelligent sounding, "oh".
"If you really mean that you see me as an equal to my brother than I want you to share something with me that you don't with him or Hermione." Ginny waited until she saw Harry's hesitance, "Don't tell me that you don't have secrets with Ron that you don't share with Hermione and vice versa." A mischievous smile formed over her lips as Harry faltered to respond.
The girl's reaction irked Harry, "I try not to make a practice of agreeing to anything before I know what the terms are." Harry said stiffly. "Not even with Ron or Hermione."
"Fair enough, I want you to agree to teach me Occlumency. And I don't mean just letting me watch you practice or whatever it is that you do. I want to learn it."
The memory of his conversation with a Dark Lord forced Harry to cringe. "I don't know if that's possible Ginny."
The comment caused Ginny's brave façade to finally falter. "I knew you would say that."
"It's not that I'm not willing," Harry said quickly, "I just don't think I can teach something that I don't know."
"But you said in your letters that you were making progress with it." Ginny argued.
"Well, let's just say I've hit a sticking point." Harry said trying to side step the truth about how he really knew.
"Well maybe it's because you haven't had someone to help you. All the more reason for you to agree." Ginny's smile returned, "You're not getting out of this Harry Potter."
"One condition then."
"Do you really think you're in a position to be setting conditions?" Ginny asked. Two raised eyebrows above Harry's green eyes was the response she got. "Ok, fine, what is it?"
"You agree to join us when we 'go and disappear' as you put it." Harry said.
"I don't think so, after you lot "managed to forget me', as you put it, I don't think that I want to be a part…" Ginny raised one eyebrow as she looked at Harry, "for now."
Harry laughed. The stubborn Ginny Weasley he had gotten to know over the summer was even more ornery in person – and more entertaining in that right as well.
"One last question Harry. Learning Occlumency isn't going to give me black eyeballs is it?"
Harry forced a look of concern on his face, "Well I can't say for sure, they may not be black but…" He watched the blood rush from Ginny's face before he started laughing at her. "It's good to know that it is possible to get one over on you though." Harry said.
"Prat!" Ginny said as she smacked Harry's arm. "But it won't do anything to my eyes will it."
"No, I very much doubt it." Harry said with a mischievous smile.
AN: Post responses to your reviews in the review section for the fic and at the Yahoo Group.
Well, there's the first look at the groups animagus forms. I know that JKR hinted that an individual's animagus form is the same as their patronus, but what fun is it to write Harry as a stag and Hermione as an Otter (…or is it a beaver?). Kind of took the opposite but alike approach for them. Neville is shy and unimposing, while a bear is not the most approachable of creatures (hence sort of shy), but is for sure an imposing one. Hermione the same. She's smart and very responsible, while monkeys are also very intelligent, but a bit more on the carefree side.
I've gotten a couple comments about some of the guy's OWL scores being a bit unbelievable. Truth be told I agree, particularly as it concerns Neville and Ron (and just as much for Harry, though there's less evidence in canon to refute his high scores). The reason I made them that way was because I wanted to have them in similar classes. I guess I could have made the guy's scores all equalyl average, but then Hermione would have been secluded.
This chapter was for all the people who noticed that I had excluded Ginny from the group and were less than Happy about it. Sometimes, there's a method to my madness (most of the times it's just too much sugar and a lack of sleep).
Thank you for reading.
Omagic