Chapter 7

bThe Plan/b

Sorry, I've taken so long but I finally had an idea! I didn't edit the last two chapters any because I felt they didn't need it, and also because I was too lazy. The next chapter shouldn't take long. Please review, and please read and review my other fics! Especially Malfoy's Murder Mystery, I really need feedback so I know whether to continue. Thanks!



"Let's discuss our plan for killing Harry Potter," said Voldemort to his Death Eaters as they all surrounded him in their hideout.

"I thought we didn't have one yet," said a confused Lucius. How, indeed, could they discuss something that didn't yet exsit?

"That's why we're discussing it, isn't is, you idiot?" said Severus and he smacked Lucius on the head. "Besides, we really have no need to discuss it. I have a fool-proof plan that will allow us to capture and kill Harry Potter right under Dumbledore's nose, even thought I'm really a spy for the Order... Did I say that out loud?"

"Huh?" said Voldemort clearly not paying any attention. He was too busy brushing his precious, Lucius' long blonde locks of hair.

"Right," said Severus while rolling his eyes. "Ignored as usual, I see. Anyway, do you want to hear my plan or not?"

"Yeah, yeah," said Voldemort who was now teaching Lucius how to tie a cherry stem in a knot with his tongue.

Severus got up and walked to the front of the hideout. He cleared his throat and called the room to attention. It's funny, he thought, that I can get the attention of a bunch of hormone controlled teenagers, yet I can seem to get the attention of a few middle-aged wizards. Peter was listening to a new Britney Spears CD, Lucius was getting a back massage, Voldemort was giving Lucius a back massage, and Crabbe and Goyle were picking lice and ticks out of each other's hair. It really was a disturbing sight. So, Severus Snape, being as clever as he was, conjured up ice-cream sundae's for everyone, except himself, of course. He was to mature for ice-cream.

Everyone then gave Severus their undivided attentionas he unveiled his plan.

"Here's the plan: I shall make a polyjuice potion and one of us shall use it to transform into Hermione Granger..."

"Why Hermione Granger?" interuppted Peter who had chocolate syrup smeared across his face.

"Because she likes to snog Harry in the Astronomy Tower, that's why," replied Snape.

"What's snog mean, Severus?" asked Peter with a mouth full of whipped cream.

"Shut up, Peter and let me finish!" Snape's temper was close to the surface and steadily rising. "As I was saying, one of us shall use the polyjuice potion to transform into Hermione Granger. I have already collected a hair." Snape held up a bottle with a piece of Hermione's bushy brown hair. "We shall then send an owl to Potter from Miss Granger telling him to meet her in the Astronomy Tower. Then the transformed person will meet Harry in the Astronomy Tower, stun him, not snog him," he glared at Lucius,"and bring him to the hideout."

"Well, it's not nearly complicated enough," said Voldemort, thinking it over. "I mean, it doesn't involve illegal portkeys, spies in the castle, or deuling. What's the fun in that?"

"Well, think about it My Lord," Severus persuaded, "plans like that have had their drawbacks in the past."

"What do you mean?" the Dark Lord asked, eyeing Severus, daring him to contradict him.

"They... um... Well, they haven't really worked out to your advantage, have they? Harry's gotten away every single time. In my opinion, you should try a less complicated plan."

"Hey, I think we should stakeout the school for three months, turn Harry's toothbrush into an illegal portkey to Iceland, meet him there, take another illegal portkey to London, where we'll get on the train at Platform 9 3/4 and arrive at Hogsmeade. Then, we can tunnel into the Hogwarts grounds, take Dumbledore hostage so he won't be here to save Harry. Then, Voldemort can duel with Harry..."

"Shut up Lucius!" said Snape fighting back the urge to hit Lucius again. "That plan would never work in a million years. It would be a complete and utter waste of our time, don't you agree, My Lord?"

Voldemort looked pensive. Severus and Lucius were looking at him eagerly. Voldemort moved over to Lucius who was sitting on the floor and kneeled down in front of him.

"Lucius, dear, as much as I like your plan, I'm afraid we're going to have to use Severus'. It seems much more thought out."

"Daddy loves Severus more than me!" Lucius wailed. He pulled a frilly handkerchief out of his pocket and began dabbing his eyes for effect.

"Drama Queen" said Severus looking thoroughly disgusted. "I've already got some Polyjuice potion. Shall I retrieve it?"

"Not just yet, Severus. We still have to figure out who's going to take it and transform into the Granger girl."

Wormtail backed away into a corner and pretended to be very interested in a dust bunny.

"Can I Daddy?' begged Lucius, his eyes becoming very large and teary. "I've always wanted to be a girl...I mean to snog Har...uh... I mean get my hands on that Potter boy."

"Certainly not!" yelled The Dark Lord who was, by now, extremely jealous. "I don't trust you to carry out anything like that for a minute. Now, Severus on the other hand..."

Snape was quietly backing out of the room when he heard his name. He thought about making a run for it, but decided it would only put him in bigger trouble. He turned around abruptly.

"Oh, no!" Snape snarled. "You're not making me do this! I'm not turning into a girl, especially that Granger girl."

"Fine then," said Voldemort craftily. "I'm taking away your free dental plan."

"Damn," said Severus. He's been thinking about getting vampire fangs to, you know, impress the fan girls. "Fine! I'll do it! Though, someone will need to dispose of Miss Granger for at least an hour so I'll have time to do the deed."

"The deed! TeeHee," Lucius giggled.

"You know what I mean!" snapped a very disgruntled Snape.

"I think Crabbe and Goyle will be able to dispose of her long enough," said Voldemort as he sent the two to get Hermione. "We'll start as soon as she gets here. Severus, send an owl to Potter, inviting him to a good time. Mwha...mwhaha...mwhahahahaha!! Damn, I'm good."

"It was my idea..." Snape muttered.

"Do you want me to curse you, Severus?" the Dark Lord asked.

"No, My Lord. Your plan is brilliant. I'm sure it will work," Snape said unconvincingly.

"There's a lad," said Voldemort cheerily. "Now, run along and get your little potion. We have work to do."

Taadaa! The next one's coming soon! What did you think?