Chapter 19: The Same But Different
"What in the hell?" Ron's voice rang through the silent living room. Everyone would have turned to stare had they not been thinking the same thing. Snape only hissed at the remark and shot the room an ugly glare. "Where is Dumbeldore?" he demanded from no one in particular.
The room remained silent until Lupin regained his composure, "Upstairs, I'll take you to him." He walked past the group of students and towards the stairs waiting only a moment for Snape to catch up.
"Come now, back in the kitchen" Mrs. Weasley said hurriedly. "Let's finish our din…"
The fireplace flared green and Moody and Shacklebolt stepped out into the still silent living room.
"What in the hell?" Moody gruffed using the same astonished tone as Ron. "You lot haven't enough to do you need to stand around here and stare at the floo?" No one moved, "Well, get back to work!" Moody barked.
Activity quickly returned throughout the room, and Harry watched Shacklebolt approach Tonks with a slip of parchment. After only a glance at the paper the young Auror's eyes grew wide and shot quickly to Harry.
"Potter!" Moody called out from across the living room, "Where is the Headmaster? I need to speak with him."
Harry heard Moody's call but wouldn't turn his stare away from Tonks. She was now reading through the document in her hand, her face turning redder by the moment.
"I'm talking to you, boy!" Moody snapped and clunked over to Harry.
"He's with Professor Snape." Hermoine interjected. "Remus took him upstairs just a moment ago."
Moody stared disapprovingly while he listened to Hermoine's reply and then turned away towards the stairway. Harry's only acknowledgement was a quick glare at the man's wooden leg that was beating too loudly on the floor for him to overhear the conversation between Shacklebolt and Tonks. By the time the sound died down enough, the two Aurors had finished talking and were heading up the stairs as well.
"Into the kitchen children." Mrs. Weasley said sternly, placing her hand on Harry's back to usher him out of the living room. Harry stood firm against the matron's gesture, but gave in when she strengthened her push against him.
"Now you children stay here while I find out if anyone else would like something to eat." Mrs. Weasley said and rushed out of the kitchen.
"Some one please tell me why Professor Snape just stormed through the living room dressed like a Death Eater." Neville said even before the door finished closing behind Mrs. Weasley.
Ginny, Ron, and Hermione stared nervously between themselves unsure if they could reveal Snape's role as a spy to Neville. Harry however, stared furiously at his plate of food, "Just tell him already!" he snapped without looking up.
"Tell me what?" Neville asked. "Surely Professor Snape isn't a Death Eater. I know he's really mean and scary, but…he can't be a Death Eater."
"He's a spy for the Order of the Phoenix, Neville." Hermione said plainly.
Neville's eyes widened when he heard Hermione's reply. "A spy…for the Order of the Phoenix…but that would mean he works with You-Know-Who too." Suddenly the boy's face paled, "How long has he been a spy? He could have known about my parents, about what was going to happen to them! If he worked with V-voldemort, and Lestrange worked with him too, than surely Professor Snape must have known! WHY DIDN'T HE WARN THEM?"
Suddenly Harry looked up, and for a moment he forgot about the rage building inside him. Instead he considered for the first time in his life that the things connecting him to Voldemort, all the pain and suffering caused by those connections, extended almost as completely to someone else. Even more, he realized that he wasn't the only one who had been kept in the dark all these years.
"Neville!" Ginny said tersely, "Calm down, you're going to have everyone in the house rushing in here if you keep this up."
"I don't care! Professor Snape could have known about my parents, about why it happened to them! If he really is a spy then he might be the only one who can tell me why it was MY PARENTS who were tortured until they lost their minds!"
Harry's rage began anew as he continued to listen to Neville. But it was the memories of everything he had endured since last summer that fueled his anger. That after a year of the pain and anguish he and his friends were again sitting in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place, stressing over the same frustration of being denied their right to know what was going on. Harry watched Neville play the role that he once filled and shuttered at the injustice of the boy's life. The-Boy-Who-Could-Have-Been-The-One-To-Live, who was screaming about what he was never told, about why his parents lost their minds over a prophecy he didn't know existed.
"Neville calm down!" Hermione scolded. "Maybe we can help you, but Ginny's right, if you keep yelling the whole house is going to be in here after us."
"Maybe I want the whole house to hear." Neville said angrily. "Maybe I want…Professor Snape to come in here…" he stared down at his food in the same angry manner Harry had been staring before.
"This is not happening again this year." Harry hissed.
Everyone at the table started except for Neville who was too lost in his thoughts to have a reaction. "Well then we have to find a way to listen in on what they are saying" Ginny offered, "We could use an Extendable Ear."
"And do you happen to have an Extendable Ear?" Hermoine said smugly, to which Ginny replied with a vacant expression.
"Well, we have to find some way to find out what they are talking about." Ginny exclaimed.
Harry didn't acknowledge the girls' bickering but instead looked over at Ron to see if his friend had understood what he meant.
"I caught a glimpse of the letter that Tonks was looking at." Ron offered in return. "I didn't see much, but on the top of the letter it said 'Official Notice' and then something about Azkaban."
"Then it had to be the release from the Ministry about what happened there today." Hermoine said excitedly.
"Tonks seemed pretty upset when she was reading it. Did you see the way she looked at you Harry?" Ron said.
"Of course I saw her look, and that's why I'm going upstairs to find out what that letter said." Harry replied. "I'm done sneaking around trying to eavesdrop on what everyone's saying, and I'm disgusted at the idea of trying." Harry shot a look to Ginny, "It wasn't anyone else's house who was destroyed this year, no one else had to deal with someone trying to kill them for the past five years, and none of their parents were murdered or tortured." Harry said with a look over to Neville. "Why is it that they tell each other everything, but we're the ones that are attacked year in and year out?" Harry stood up and kicked his chair back from under him. "I'm not going to sit here like a helpless child anymore."
"Harry wait!" Ginny yelled as Harry made his way through the kitchen door. Neville stood just as soon as he realized what Harry was doing and followed him. "Neville!" Ginny cried after the boy. Ron raised his eyebrows and pushed away from the table as well. "Ronald Weasley!" his sister cried, but then Hermione stood as well. "Hermione, what are you doing? We don't have to storm up there like this, Harry can just use Dobby or Winky…"
"That's not the point Ginny" Hermione interrupted. "I think Harry is right, but even if he's not, I'm going with him" she said and walked out the kitchen door.
Ginny stood up, red in the face. "I'm not saying it's wrong! But what are we going to do if they send us all back to our homes for interfering?" She said to the empty room. "What is Harry going to do if they force us to leave him here alone?"
Ginny stormed out of the kitchen only to run into the back of Hermione who was standing with the rest of the students staring at an empty living room. "Where did everyone go?" she asked.
"DAMNIT!" Harry yelled at the empty room. "What in the hell is going on?"
"Still unable to think for yourself Potter? Apparently those OWL scores were a stroke of luck after all." Snape said contritely as he walked slowly down the stairs in front of Remus and Moody. "Or perhaps you are under the delusion that we need to consult with you before making any decisions."
"You're out of line Severus." Remus said.
Snape scoffed at the remark, "Hardly an assessment you're in any position to make Lupin."
"Well I don't think anyone in this room who is dressed like a bloody Death Eater should have much to say about anything." Moody deadpanned. "And if you have something to say to that Severus, than we can discuss it like a proper Auror and Death Eater should."
"Is someone going to tell us what's going on?" Harry asked firmly.
"You'll know what we see fit to tell you and no more Potter." Snape snarled.
"All of you take a seat and keep your mouths closed." Moody said interrupting the glare between Harry and Snape. "A lot has happened and I'm not going to waste my time listening to foolish bickering or fielding pointless questions."
Harry and Neville both had to restrain their comments as everyone settled in at various places around the living room. The students sat together on the couches nearest the fireplace, while Remus took his position in a chair across the room. Snape remained standing near the base of the staircase and Moody stood to the side of the fireplace before he glanced back up the staircase.
"Dumbledore will be down in a moment along with Molly." Alastor looked to Ron and Ginny. "Apparently your mother thinks we should use some discretion in telling you what's going on…rubbish if you ask me. You kids are going to fare a great deal worse before this thing is over, and if you haven't the metal to stomach this bit I suggest you start developing it now." Moody reached into his pocket and unfolded a piece of parchment. "Not that it's worth the ink it's written in, but this is the Ministry's official account of what happened at Azkaban." He handed the paper to Harry.
Harry quickly took the paper and unfolded it while the rest of the students gathered over his shoulder. It only took the same quick glance at it as Tonks had earlier for Harry to realize the cause of the Auror's astonishment.
"This says that Sirius attacked Azkaban!" Harry fumed and looked over the paper to the adults in the room.
Moody's expression was garish as always, but his non-magical eye was fixed directly on Harry. Remus was sitting with his forehead resting on one hand, and his stare was filled with sorrow. Then Harry turned his gaze to Snape. The man stood against the banister with his arms folded across his chest with a look of satisfaction on his face. As if there was some sort of justice in the horrible lie that Harry held between his fingers. Harry watched as the greasy haired professor raised his right eyebrow to acknowledge the continued stare between them and slowly the corner of the Snape's mouth curled into a hateful smile. Suddenly a cold chill ran through Harry's body and he dropped the paper in his hand.
"H-Harry! What in the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" Ron whined as he snatched the paper off the floor. He held the paper out for Harry to keep reading but noticed his friend wasn't looking at it at all. It was then he felt the chill coming from Harry and followed his gaze across the room to see the smirk on Snape's face. "Oh hell," he murmured under his breath as he sensed the explosion building up in Harry.
Before Harry could do anything Dumbledore appeared at the top of the staircase and caught the young man's attention. It was apparent that the Headmaster observed the silent exchange that had occurred between Harry and Snape, and as he descended the stairs he peered over top his half moon spectacles at Harry with that same disarming look he always used on the young man.
"Molly will be down shortly to join us," Dumbledore said patiently, "but I believe she won't be offended if we begin without her."
Despite the fact that Dumbledore's appearance had paused him from exploding on Snape, Harry's anger was still boiling just under the surface. His face contorted as he listened to the old man's patient tone. To Harry, it seemed like the Headmaster was speaking to a class, more importantly, like he was speaking down to a classroom, as one with all the knowledge who was deciding what to share and what not to. The thought made him want to spit at Dumbledore's feet, but instead he snatched the parchment from Ron's hands and focused intently on it, ignoring whatever the man had to say next by reading the Ministry release.
As always Minister Fudge has found it fit to administer information in half-truths. We are fortunate that Professor Snape has arrived to inform us of the actual events which occurred at Azkaban earlier today." Dumbledore looked to Harry who was still reading the parchment. "It grieves us all that the Ministry continues to deflect blame for events in which it holds some level of responsibility. But it is a worse injury that it continues to do so by using Sirius as a scapegoat. By definition every half-truth is also a half-lie, and sometimes the lies within are so terrible that the truths revealed are hardly worth the cost."
Harry had finished reading the parchment in full, and though he was almost floored by the news that the Dementors had kissed everyone at Azkaban, the shock wasn't enough to overcome the rage he felt for them blaming Sirius. He listened as Dumbledore rattled on about half-truths, and deflecting blame and wondered about what blame the Headmaster hadn't accepted in all of this. Dumbledore hadn't done anything to help Sirius while he was imprisoned for twelve years, and he didn't do anything to prove Sirius' innocence after he escaped. How can you stand there and talk about injuries and half-truth? Harry thought angrily.
"To dwell on what we cannot control would be useless, instead we must consider what we know to be the whole truth. This morning Voldemort and a group of Death Eaters walked into Azkaban, and with great ease, brought the Dementors back into his service. Though the Ministry was continuously warned of this risk, the consequence of ignoring those warnings is a great cost to us all. Voldemort requested that the demons align with him, and offered the soul of every human inhabiting Azkaban Island as a reward for their loyalty."
Hermione gasped as Dumbledore voiced this news. Ron and Ginny looked up and saw their mother standing half way down the staircase with her mouth covered and tears in her eyes. Remus brought his other hand up and covered his face fully in both hands. Aside from the principles in the conversation held upstairs only Neville and Harry seemed unaffected by what Dumbledore had to say. Both boys too lost in their own thoughts to completely grasp the horrible events being explained.
"I am afraid however, that the tragedy which struck Azkaban Island will not be the worst thing to happen this day. Professor Snape has risked a great deal to come here this evening; but his goal was not only to tell us about Azkaban, but because Voldemort has ordered an attack on Muggle London." This comment shifted Harry's attention completely to the Headmaster. "The Dark Lord has instructed his followers to attack without accord, their only command to ensure that the surviving muggles are made to believe that only magic could have caused their terror."
"He's trying to expose the wizarding world." Harry said just loud enough to be heard.
"Yes Harry, that is Voldemort's intention." Dumbledore replied.
"My parents!" Hermione said with a quiver. "Please, I have to go to them before it's too late."
"Relax Ms. Granger, in addition to the guard that always remains at your home, arrangements have already been made to ensure their safety this evening. Though I suggest you contact them to make known your own well being as they will inevitably be concerned after their sudden relocation." Dumbledore said calmly.
"And what is being done to prevent the attacks?" Harry interrupted sharply.
"We are doing everything in our power." Dumbledore replied.
Harry looked again to the paper in his hand and at the lines proclaiming Sirius' guilt in the loss of hundreds of souls to the Dementors. Everything in your power, the little help that it has been! Harry thought. He looked at the sobbing image of Mrs. Weasley and the concerned eyes of his friends. Then he looked at the calm face of Dumbledore and his rage snapped. "That's hardly an answer." He hissed directly at the Headmaster.
"It is the only answer that I have to offer you Harry." Dumbledore said. "Too much is unknown about what is going to happen this evening for definite measures to be taken."
"That's not good enough!" Harry screamed and threw the crumpled parchment in his hand to the floor. "Everything in your power! You're supposed to be the greatest wizard alive! But as Voldemort sends Death Eaters and Dementors out to kill helpless people you're standing here telling us about half-truths and preparations!"
"HARRY!" Remus screamed.
But Harry continued without acknowledging, "For an entire year after I told you Voldemort had come back you and the Order did nothing to stop him! Instead we," Harry motioned to his friends sitting behind him, "had to fight against ridiculous Ministry Decrees and that bitch Umbridge torturing us!"
Mrs. Weasley gasped loudly from the staircase as Harry rose to his feet.
"For a year you and the stupid Order held secret meetings but didn't once try to go after Voldemort or his Death Eaters, you even knew who many of them were. For an entire year I had to put up with Voldemort screwing around with my mind while you lot did nothing to stop him!"
"HARRY STOP IT NOW!" Remus screamed and looked nervously to Dumbledore who remained standing calmly.
"NO! I won't stop Remus. Because I'm not going to sit around for another year waiting for Voldemort to find more ways to attack me and my friends while you lot do what's in your power!" Harry stared defiantly back at the stares facing him, "Voldemort said to me there is no good or evil only power and those who are willing to use it. Well how in the hell am I supposed to believe that he is wrong if every time Voldemort kills more people everyone who I think is good sits around and lets him get away with it!" Harry turned and pointed at Dumbledore, "He spent a year trying to drive me insane with visions and you decided to make it worse by letting him," Harry pointed his hand to Snape without breaking his stare at Dumbledore, "break into my mind and torture me as well. Voldemort orders everyone to be killed at Azkaban and Fudge blames it on my dead godfather. And now he sends out his Death Eaters to kill a bunch of helpless muggles and you're still standing here doing nothing!"
Harry stood out of breath staring defiantly at Dumbledore. The room was dead silent when Moody shifted from one shoulder to the other against the mantle of the fireplace, his good eye fixed sternly on Harry, while his magical eye shifted to observe the reaction of each person in the room. Then from across the room a huff was heard over the sound of Snape's robes adjusting with his movement.
"I told you, you were wasting your time on Potter, Headmaster. He's just as insolent as his father and Sirius were. Look what good it did them." Snape hissed angrily.
Harry felt the muscles in his back seize tightly as the weight of Snape's words registered in his mind. He was shaking with the anger he felt from yelling at Dumbledore, but Snape's words brought a still to him that only served to further inflame his fury. "What did you say?" Harry hissed coldly.
"I haven't the time or desire to waste my time repeating myself to you Potter. You're an arrogant little child, and since the day I met you I knew that you'd be the same insufferable boy your father and his friends were." Snape replied just as coldly.
Ron was filled with so much of the anger that Harry was emanating to him through their bond that he could no longer tell his own emotions from his friends. But when Snape replied to Harry, Ron felt the current of those emotions stop, and for a second he saw his friends eyes flash black.
Harry felt the tightening of his muscles spread down his back and through his arms until his fists balled as tightly as they could. He stared at the hateful smirk on Snape's face and wanted nothing more than to knock it clean off his head. At once he exploded from where he was standing and ran as hard as he could with his fist cocked to strike.
"HARRY NO!" Ron screamed as he tried to grab his friend.
"REMUS!" Hermione screamed from behind Ron as she realized what Harry was going to do.
Harry felt the blood course through his neck and push hotly against the skin in his face. He was only a few feet away from his target and was already envisioning the blow that he intended to land across Snape's face. He watched as Snape drew his wand but didn't care if he got off a spell as long as he was able to get his shot in as well. Whatever the consequence it would be well worth the satisfaction of breaking that man's jaw. Just as he drew his arm back fully to strike he felt a strong pull around his waist that stopped him dead in his tracks.
Both Dumbledore and Moody reached for their wands when Harry took off and were relieved when they saw Remus catch the young man before he could reach the professor. Still the Headmaster knew that Snape would let off a curse at any second and bellowed loudly, "THAT IS ENOUGH!" bringing a sudden stop to all action in the room.
CRACK!
The smack of skin hitting skin echoed loudly through the room and instantly Snape crumpled to the floor. Moody and Dumbledore both pointed their wands to the spot where the man had once been only to see Dudley standing over the potions professor, his fist still cocked in case the first blow hadn't done the job completely.
"Dudley, get back in here at once!" Petunia screamed from an unseen location in the hallway behind the stairs.
Harry, who was still held in Remus' grasp, stared at Dudley in disbelief. Then he noticed Dudley's mouth drop open and his face go pale when the muggle looked at the wizards training their wands at him.
"H-Harry I heard the screams from my room and then saw this guy dressed up like those people who attacked our home. T-the-the-the Dead Eater guys! Dudley said as quickly as he could. "I thought he was attacking you, please don't let them use their magic on me again!"
Petunia raced out from the hallway staring nervously at the shocked witches and wizards in the room and then at the fallen body of Snape beneath her boy. "Dudley, oh Dudley, please get back in the room." She pulled her son away from the living room and turned a cold stare to Harry, "Don't you let them hurt my boy!" she screamed.
The room remained quiet for a long moment as everyone replayed what had just happened through their minds. The sound of stifled cries could be heard from several directions as all the ladies in the room intermittently wiped tears away from their eyes.
Moody's wooden leg clunked loudly across the wooden floor towards Snape's unconscious body. "Constant vigilance Severus." He gruffed, "should have seen that lad coming from behind."
His rage diffused, Harry looked to Remus and then to Dumbledore who were both staring at him disappointedly. "Harry, you will follow me upstairs this instant." Dumbledore said as curtly as Harry had ever heard the man speak. "Molly, please attend to Severus while Remus looks after the students?"
Harry looked back at the saddened faces of his friends and particularly to the tears in Ginny and Hermione's eyes. Regret washed over him as he realized he was to blame for those tears – for the first time worried if he had gone too far. Dumbledore walked past him without a glance and Harry turned slowly to take the long walk up the stairs and into the library.
"Sit down." Dumbledore maintained his curt tone. "Harry even though I think that you are right to be frustrated, and partly so in what you said, it does not justify what you have done this evening." Dumbledore sat in a chair across the table from Harry and took a long pause. "I have for a long time carried the guilt and doubt of whether or not the decisions I made for you were the right ones. And because of that doubt I have extended you an almost endless amount of latitude – particularly as it concerns your actions towards me. But I cannot overlook you blatantly trying to attack a Hogwarts professor."
"But it seems fit that he should continue to be allowed to blatantly attack me." Harry said solemnly.
"No Harry that is not so, but I don't believe that what happened tonight is truly about the continued dislike between you and Professor Snape, this is about you and me isn't it?"
"I'm sick of you trying to control my life." Harry said softly.
"For almost as long as we have known each other you have shown me unquestionable loyalty and love, and it has pained me more than you can imagine knowing that those feelings would one day be reconsidered. Now that the time has come I find myself questioning my decisions more so than ever. I promise that it has never been my intention to control your life, on the contrary I have always tried to make it possible for you to live your life as you see fit."
"How can you say that to me? The Dursleys, the Order guards always watching over me, the things you've known about my life and kept from me all these years…"
Dumbledore held up his hand slightly to stop Harry, "I asked you earlier this summer if you could find it in your heart to forgive. It was an unfair request, the result of an old man holding onto the relationship that you and I once shared. I can no longer ask for your forgiveness because I don't believe that I am required forgiving. Instead, I'm asking for you to try and understand, but in order for that to be possible I must explain."
Dumbledore paused and Harry wasn't sure if he was supposed to speak. "I-I'm sorry that I went after Snape…I don't know what I was thinking." He said unsure of what else to say.
"Professor Snape," Dumbledore corrected, "and I believe you knew exactly what you were thinking." He said with a hard stare over his glasses. "It is the way you have come to think that is very much a part of what you and I must discuss. You may not be able to fully accept what I have to say, all I ask is that you hear me out."
Harry was put off that Dumbledore so quickly dismissed his apology. Besides, it was Snape who went over the line when he insulted his father and Sirius, Harry was just trying to be the bigger person by apologizing to the Headmaster for a reaction that he thought was definitely justified.
"So many expectations are placed upon you and as is the case with any life that is watched through the public eye. Only the bad things you do seem to be the ones that are recognized. I understand that you were trying to do the right thing by apologizing for your attempt to attack Severus this evening. The gesture, along with so many others, continues to give credit to the amazing character you possess."
"If that's true, then why didn't you tell me about the prophecy sooner? Why did you avoid me all of last year when I needed you the most?" Harry asked with a pained voice.
Dumbledore took a heavy breath and his brow furrowed over his eyes in sadness. "As is always the case Harry, I made these decisions because I thought it was in your best interest."
Harry had to fight back a defiant huff at the response.
"We have a lot in common you and I." Dumbledore continued. "Our lives are constantly burdened by the expectations of others. After a while people begin to see those expectations as the norm rather than the exception, and Harry that has been the case for a very long time in my life. You, like many before, made the mistake of assuming that my decisions are infallible, and that is the worst kind of expectation to have to live up to. Like you, I try as best I can to make sure that the decisions I make are the best for everybody. And like you, I sometimes find that they are not."
Harry immediately thought of Cedric and Sirius. He remembered how hard the decisions seemed at the time, and that he was sure he was making the right choice. Now, more than anything, he wished he could take them back. He looked at Dumbledore and for the first time saw the old man as just another person. He noticed how frail his arms were as they appeared out of the large sleeves of his robe. How wrinkled the skin on his face was, and the bags under his eyes. In fact he saw a slight tinge of gray in those eyes that he'd only ever seen as vibrant blue. "But then how can you continue to make these decisions?" Harry asked.
"I make them because they must be made, because I wouldn't want anyone else to have to live with the burden of doing it in my place." Dumbledore replied softly. "Unfortunately you too now bear these burdens, and more than anything I wish that I could relieve them from you." Dumbledore sat forward in his chair and extended his hand across the table to hold Harry's. "That is why I waited so long to tell you about the prophecy my boy. I couldn't bring myself to place such an unfair burden on you when you have had to suffer through so much already. I am not sorry that I waited so long, but I cannot begin to express the remorse I feel knowing the burden you must carry now that you know."
Harry tried his best to swallow the lump in his throat so that he could say something but when he opened his mouth to speak Dumbledore interrupted.
"Please Harry let me say my peace. I owe you a great deal of explanation." The Headmaster said as he released Harry's hand. "My desire to keep you free of the expectations that I have faced in my life extend beyond withholding the prophecy from you for so long. As you know, after I came to know the prophecy I spoke with your parents and the Longbottoms about this foretelling. I advised both families to take precautions to ensure their safety. Your parents chose to hide under the Fidelus charm and as you know it was their decision to choose their own secret keeper. As I told you I assumed that they had chosen Sirius to be this person and after all that transpired that night Voldemort attacked your parents I found myself facing another difficult decision. I had to decide the best way to assure that you remained safe from not only the retaliations of Voldemort's remaining followers, but also from the frenzy of the wizarding world that was going to fall upon you. As unpleasant as the Dursley's were, placing you with them seemed like the only way to accomplish both of these goals. Making that choice was one of the hardest I ever had to make in my life, and ever since you returned to my life it has grown increasingly harder to find merit in that decision. My only solace was knowing that the person you have become, despite the miserable home the Dursley's provided, is far greater than anyone could have ever expected."
Harry watched a small smile grow on Dumbledore's face. A smile that he always thought displayed the man's confidence, but now he knew that it showed Dumbledore's pride in him. He was almost embarrassed now that he realized what the man was doing. "I understand sir."
"Don't be so hasty to make that statement. Saying such a thing because you think it is what I want to hear is what led you to perceive that I am infallible. Let's not forget the sharp words you had for this old man earlier." Dumbledore smiled widely at this. "Regardless of my desires for your life Harry, it is evident that I cannot change the fate that lies ahead of you. Try as I might, that decision is one that I was never destined to make."
"The prophecy." Harry said solemnly.
"Yes Harry, the prophecy, but you must always keep in mind that the foretelling of a prophecy does not mean that one has to make it self-fulfilling. And though I fought for that ideal these past five years, I realized when I saw the grief in your eyes the night Sirius died that one must also accept the responsibility of their destiny. My responsibility is not to keep you from your path, but instead I believe it is to help guide you along it."
"I'm not sure I understand sir." Harry said. "Haven't you been trying to do that all along?" Harry paused as he thought about his statement, "Well, at least partially?"
"By far the worst thing about being someone that people look to in times like these, is having to live with the burden of knowing that other people's lives are in your hands whether you want them to be or not."
Harry thought that was the understatement of the year.
"But the hardest thing to accept is even if you don't want that responsibility it is yours to bear. For eleven years I prepared myself to embrace the challenge of guiding you along your path, but when I came to know and love the person you are, I could not accept that responsibility. So I decided to shield you from it as best as I could, and as we both know I have failed miserably in that regard. But when I saw you carrying the burden of Sirius' death I finally realized that I was neither helping nor protecting you. And so I finally revealed the prophecy to you. Now, like me, you are inescapably facing a life where people will look to you to make decisions for them, and because you are becoming aware of that despite my failures, I can only hope that you are capable of truly understanding that I always had your best intentions in mind. Even if we both now know that the decisions I made may not have been the best for you."
Harry opened his mouth to respond but then stopped. The Headmaster had said so many things, and taken so much blame for things that Harry was angry about. But now that Dumbledore had done so, Harry didn't feel justified about being right – he felt guilty. A feeling that was even more frustrating than just being able to focus his anger at the man. It was then he really did understand what Dumbledore meant about accepting the responsibilities in his life. He looked at Dumbledore and huffed a small laugh, "All of a sudden I feel like I need a holiday sir."
Dumbledore chuckled at the response, "I think maybe you understand better than I could have imagined." He reached into his pocket and then extended his hand, "Perhaps you would care for a lemon drop? It's not quite as refreshing as a holiday, but sometimes something sweet is all we can hope for when the challenges ahead of us leave a sour taste in our mouth."
Harry laughed too and noticed the familiar twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes as he accepted the candy. "Thank you sir." He said in a tone that reflected gratitude for more than the candy.
"For as long as I am alive I will always be there for you Harry. But if you truly understand all I have said to you, then you must know that my help will not be enough.
You are a young man with more responsibilities than most grown wizards and you will undoubtedly need to surround yourself with people who you love and trust. You must decide when and where you will seek guidance, and sometimes you will have to make decisions on your own. The hard part is knowing when."
"Well I hope you are here for a long time to help me learn how to do that sir." Harry replied.
Harry and Dumbledore returned to the living room to find everyone still there. Remus and the students were sitting near the fireplace and turned when they heard Harry coming down the stairs. Most of the student's eyes shifted nervously between their friend and Snape who was sitting on the couch, the left side of his face a deep shade of purple from where Dudley had hit him. When Harry got to the middle of the living room and saw the Potions professor's bruised face his mouth fell open.
"What are you looking at Potter?" Snape snarled. "Only someone as pathetic as you would have to rely on a muggle to fight his battles."
The entire room fell silent in fear of Harry's response. Harry's expression hardened for a moment before he looked over to Dumbledore and then drew his wand.
"HARRY NO!" Hermione screamed.
A jet of blue light shot out of Harry's wand and just over Snape's head to the grandfather clock against the wall behind him. The large oak clock floated into the air above Snape's head as it transfigured into a large tube of glass filled with beads much like the ones that kept track of the house points at Hogwarts. When the transfiguration was complete the object looked almost like a large hour glass, green beads filled the bottom half of the glass tube and on the wood covering the tube Snape's name was written in large black letters along with the number twenty.
"Twenty points from Professor Snape. For always trying to make everyone around him unhappy." The green beads in the tube began slowly rising to the top of the hourglass as the number next to Snape's name counted down to zero. "Three points for always being able to come up with new ways to succeed in doing so." Harry added, and three glass beads fell one at time back to the bottom.
"Why you despicable little…" Snape muttered.
Harry heard the stifled snorts of Ron behind him and a short gasp from Hermione as he looked over to the Headmaster who was adorning a disapproving look. He thought for a moment that Dumbledore hadn't understood the joke he was trying to make of the situation, but then noticed the twinkle in the man's eyes and knew the look was just for appearances. "I think a month's detention to be served in my office is called for Harry." He said with a smile.
"Well I'm hungry, anybody else up for a spot of dinner?" Harry smirked as he left Snape muttering in the living room.
AN: I reply to all reviews in the review section for this story. If you're interested there is a Yahoo group that is updated regularly as well, the link is available on my bio page.
Since Harry had his first argument with Dumbledore I have gotten many reviews saying that they hoped these two would find a way to work things out. I think I made you wait for it long enough and I hope now that it has happened you're pleased in how it transpired. If not, well then you got a little Snape bashing instead. If you didn't like that either well I guess this chapter isn't going to be amongst your favorites huh. :P
I am sorry for the delay but this time around it really isn't my fault. Besides being out of town all of last week, my wife had the very unfortunate experience of having to pass kidney stones. Not one or two, but three kidney stones, seems she can never do anything a little bit. I don't know how many of you have experience with kidney stones, but I can't imagine seeing a person in more pain than she was. As a result, we've been in and out of the hospital and doctors office non-stop for the past week. On top of all that a close friend got into a pretty severe car accident so when we weren't at the doctors for my wife's kidney stones we were at the hospital visiting our friend. Made for interesting conversation though, as I got to listen to them compare which pain killer they thought was their favorite. Needless to say, writing didn't find its way back onto the priority list for some time. But everyone is healthy, or at least recuperating back to full health, and that's all I can ask for.
Back to Hogwarts next chapter, until then…thanks for reading and for the reviews.
Cheers,
Omagic