Chapter 20: The Day After
TERROR STRIKES AZKABAN THEN MUGGLE LONDON
By Ervin Treblebanks Daily Prophet Reporter
Saturday, August 10, 1996
Last night terror struck muggle London when multiple horrific killings were reported from numerous locations. All over muggle London murder reports poured into the Ministry of Magic which detailed events that this reporter can only describe as senseless acts of horror. Though no official word has been released, all signs indicate that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is responsible.
Muggles were not the only victims of You-Know-Who's terror yesterday. The Minister of Magic issued an official release that confirmed the rampant rumors that Azkaban Island was ravaged by the Dementors guarding it. According to the release, wanted murderer and escaped Azkaban convict, Sirius Black is responsible for the incident. (See: Dementors Massacre Azkaban Island Ministry Says Sirius Black is to Blame). Details are still unclear as to the exact number of victims, and if any prisoners escaped the island. What is known is that every person found on the island after the attack, prisoner or not, had been kissed by the Dementors.
As the Ministry of Magic continues to gather evidence for an official release, members of the wizarding society are left with only the grief and questions spurned by these seemingly related events. The attack on Azkaban is currently estimated to have left over 150 witches and wizards without their soul, while the number of muggle murders continues to pour in; the most recent count estimating over 200 deaths.
Perhaps the greatest concern to come from these tragedies is the possibility that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has begun his next reign of terror. Allegations are that Sirius Black, a lead supporter and principal Death Eater for You-Know-Who, struck Azkaban with the intent of freeing fellow comrads (See: Death Eaters on the Loose?) in order to strengthen You-Know-Who's legion. This coupled with the precarious actions of the Dementors has many fearing that this is only the beginning of things to come. If so, one has to wonder if the Ministry has again overlooked a severe threat to our society?
It was only a short while ago that the current administration publicly admitted that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had returned after he was seen at the attack on the Ministry of Magic this past Spring. Since that time the Ministry has worked tirelessly to assure that it was not attempting to cover up this fact despite warning from both the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot and Hogwarts Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, as well as the Boy-Who-Lived. Now sources reveal that there may have been more at hand surrounding the Dementor attack and their subsequent release from duty at Azkaban Prison.
These anonymous reports from the prison indicate that most if not all prisoners that were kissed were found still locked in their cells. If this is true it would contradict Ministry allegations that Sirius Black caused a large-scale breakout which drove the Dementors to take the gruesome path of kissing every inhabitant on the island. One Ministry official was overheard suggesting that the attack had been the work of You-Know-Who himself. The Ministry has yet to confirm whether or not the Death Eater's captured during the attack in the Department of Mysteries were able to escape yesterday morning leads this reporter to wonder if more sinister things may be at hand.
With so many unanswered questions, the Ministry's continued silence regarding last night's muggle murders has only heightened the sense of panic throughout the wizarding society. There have been rumors that several Dark Marks were seen over houses where heinous murders took place, one witness, who wished to remain anonymous, described it as, "The most gruesome display of death he has ever seen. There were mangled bodies and twisted homes, and many of the Obliviators weren't sure that they could remove such traumatic memories from the muggles around them. Truth be told, I was hoping to be obliviated as well."
Claims from the Ministry say that no Dark Marks were found, and that most homes were still very much intact when they arrived. "We were stretched a little thin, but Obliviators were sent to every incident reported and we are confident that no muggles were left aware of what happened." Percy Weasley, assistant to the Minister of Magic spoke to reporters outside of Minister Fudge's office. "We are working tirelessly to get to the bottom of both attacks which occurred yesterday, but at this time we do not believe that the incidents are related."
While the rest of wizarding London awaits official word from the Ministry, all that is left is speculation. If the muggle attacks were ordered by You-Know-Who, then why weren't Dark Marks flown over each victim's house? This reporter has to wonder just how bad things may be. With the Ministry's unwillingness to admit that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had returned, only to rescind their position after an attack on the Ministry itself, we now have to consider how much more we're not being told. After all, we do know that Dementors are more than capable of ending a muggle's life, but can't cast the Dark Mark when they attack.
Harry threw the open paper angrily onto the couch beside him and watched the picture of Percy Weasley motioning to a crowd of reporters bleed onto the dank washcloth beneath. Considering the night he'd been through, the blurry mess that the newspaper was becoming seemed appropriate.
The remnant of night's darkness was beginning to surrender to the light of a new day as Harry let out a heavy sigh from his spot on the living room couch. Despite all that had occurred a new day had arrived the same as any other, a great act of injustice as far as he was concerned. After all he had witnessed throughout the night, how could there be such a standard start to a day that would forever be mourned by the countless people who had lost everything – their homes, their families, their lives. It wasn't something he wouldn't get to dwell on because his scar exploded in pain, which it had done frequently through the night. Reflexively he pulled the wet washcloth from beneath the paper and pressed it to his forehead. Black drops of ink stained water leaking out trickled down his nose.
Harry clinched his eyes shut tightly to avoid letting the water in, but it only brought flashbacks of the murders he'd witnessed throughout the night. Terrible scenes of bodies twisted unnaturally together. A father's head severed and then magically conjoined onto his child's body; the girl whose was splinched into the dining room table, her lifeless eyes still fixed with the look of horror that accompanied her into death; the crowded living room that was literally turned upside down so that all the bodies lay lifeless on the floor that was where the ceiling should have been.
Harry jolted from his slumbering position on the couch praying that the world would be in black and white when he opened his eyes. Focusing on his visions had been the only way he'd found to really ease the pain, but with so little sleep over the past week he was too exhausted to hold his eyes this way. And while the visions helped ease the physical pain, the quickening of his thoughts in this state made it nearly impossible for him to bear the grief he felt for all those dead people.
The litany of stresses that his body had gone through over the past week seemed to all hit him that morning. More than anything he needed sleep; that he was barely able to discern reality from dreams was evidence of that. But the pain from his scare that had plagued him all night made sure that wouldn't happen. He was right to think that putting a cool washcloth on his head would help calm the pain; his mistake was falling asleep on the living room couch after he did so. It was then that he suffered his first nightmare and after he'd witnessed those horrific deaths, sleep seemed an unlikely possibility no matter what he thought to do.
At least he had figured out that the Shimmering Scybiscus Neville gave him was working. Despite the searing pain that had disrupted his sleep in bed, he hadn't suffered any of the nightmares until he came down to the couch in the middle of the night.
Harry wasn't exactly sure why he decided to look at the Occlumency book Dumbledore gave him for his birthday, but he remembered that it seemed like a logical idea at the time. In the end it just left him pissed off and even more exhausted from not being able to formulate even a poor attempt at the art while suffering all his maladies. The only thing he had gleamed from the book was that it was necessary to control your emotions before trying to occlude your mind. Well his uncontrollable emotions won out in the end, which resulted in the book lying strewn across the floor from a fit of rage.
"Harry?" Ginny Weasley called quietly from the base of the stairs. "Good grief, you look like hell! What are you doing up this early, didn't you sleep at all last night?"
Harry squinted his eyes to focus on the girl, but instead he felt the pull of sleep which made things more unclear. "Um, no, I couldn't sleep…er…I can't sleep. Nightmares." He mumbled awkwardly.
Ginny sat on the couch next to Harry and saw the blurred mess that was left of the Daily Prophet. It took her a moment to decipher the story, "What is going on!" she moaned fearfully.
Harry barely registered the concern, he was happy just to see Ginny holding the paper. That meant he definitely wasn't dreaming. "Death Eater's killed a bunch of people last night, Dementors too." He watched as Ginny's face contorted painfully at his words. "Did you know that muggles go stiff as a board when a Dementor kisses them? He said casually, and paused. "Yup, makes all the other muggles think they're dead and I think that means they wind up getting buried alive…or something."
"How do you know that Harry?" Ginny asked nervously.
"…saw it in my nightmares. Pretty horrible stuf…damn it!" he screamed and held his forehead.
"What can I do Harry?" Ginny said as she quickly placed the ink stained cloth to his head, "Does this help?" Slowly the boy relaxed and Ginny used the moment to push his hair from underneath the cloth.
The dose of pain managed to shake Harry from his tired stupor. "What are you doing up?" he asked as he took the cloth from Ginny. "I didn't think I'd made enough noise to wake anyone."
"No it wasn't that. I've had a rough time sleeping as well. N-nightmares…but I don't think they are anything like what you've been going through." Ginny said quickly when she saw Harry's eyes widen at her. "It's like I said in our letters over the summer, sometimes I have dreams about the diary." She looked down from Harry, "well, most of the time."
"You mean you have dreams about when you were possessed by the diary?" Harry said and fell back into the couch.
"Yes, sort of, not so much about when I was possessed by the diary in my first year." Ginny looked up. "I stopped having those after I saw you again in my second year. More about being possessed now by the diary, like a blend of what it felt like during my first year, but happening to me as I am now. It's not important though, I mean it's nothing you should worry about or anything, I'm fine really." Ginny said as she looked at the haggard image of the young man in front of her.
"Is that why you were so pushy about learning Occlumency?"
Ginny's face reddened with embarrassment, "I'm sorry about that Harry, I didn't mean to be so pushy…I…er…you don't have to help me with that. I know you have so many other things to deal with – it wasn't fair of me to be that way."
Harry looked over at Ginny but she quickly looked away. He felt like he should say something comforting, but as tired as he was just the notion of it seemed exhausting. "I don't even know if I can help you. It's not like I've done well with it myself." He said dismissively and motioned to the Occlumency book lying on the floor across the room.
Ginny stood and retrieved the text handing it back to Harry when she returned. "I doubt that I could do any better than you at this, but it's possible that I could help…well, I mean it might help to have someone else trying to figure it out as well." She said. "But only if you want help Harry. I think I've done enough this summer as far as making things harder for you, with the yelling and what not." Ginny paused and then finally looked back at Harry, "I just want to help…you."
This time it was Harry who turned his gaze away. He wasn't sure if he could tell up from down after all he'd been through last night, but he was fairly certain that Ginny's look and tone were trying to say more than the words she spoke. "Can I ask you a question?" He said as he decided the fireplace was a good place to focus his gaze.
"Of course Harry." She said softly.
"Why did you say that your nightmares about the diary possessing you during first year stopped after you saw me again?"
Ginny stared pensively at the side of Harry's face before answering. "I remember how simple it made everything seem when I saw you again at the beginning of my second year. Before that, I didn't want to go back to Hogwarts, I was afraid of it. For most of the summer I had nightmares about what the diary made me do there, and after a while I wasn't sure if it had really stopped controlling me. I know, it sounds silly, but after a year of not knowing what was real and what wasn't it seemed possible that I had only imagined you destroying the diary. It was when we got to the great hall the first night back that I saw you, Ron, and Hermione laughing together. But then you looked at me and stopped laughing, and I could see in your eyes that you were reminded of what happened in the Chamber. That look – the moment I realized why you were looking at me that way – I was certain that it wasn't my imagination, I knew that the diary was really destroyed."
Harry didn't respond, and continued to stare at the fireplace. Ginny laughed softly, "You'd think I'd have been upset. A little twelve-year-old girl seeing the boy she was crushing on look at her and be reminded of fighting Tom Riddle and his pet Basilisk – I wasn't though." Ginny mustered up the courage to take Harry's hand and move closer to him. She waited until he turned to face her, "I was grateful. Grateful to you for saving my life, and for making it bearable again with only a look."
Suddenly Harry found himself wondering he would rather this was a dream. He had to admit, there was something appealing about the feel of Ginny's hand affectionately on his, about the feel of her so close to him. What wasn't appealing was the sense that he was doing something wrong, and that this situation wasn't right. They sat in silence, and it didn't take too long for it to become that awkward sort of silence. Harry assumed that she was waiting for him to say something. Whatever that was he had no idea but he scrambled to think of something, permitting his mouth to speak without first running it by his brain. "I never did thank you for writing that letter to McGonagall." He said and instantly felt stupid for it.
Ginny tried to hide the disappointment from her face as she took her hand back. "…it was no problem." She forced out. "Besides, the team needs you in order to win another House Cup…and I really didn't want to play Seeker for a whole season either." Ginny said, this time with a more steady voice.
"Well, I really appreciate it." Harry said sincerely, trying to recover from his blunder.
"Can I ask you a question Harry?" Ginny said cautiously.
Harry felt his stomach turn when he looked at the pleading expression in Ginny's eyes. "Y-Yeah sure."
"Are you always going to see me as Ron's little sister?"
His mind told him to immediately say no, and his mouth opened to comply, but the words caught in his throat as he looked at Ginny. The pink morning light had filled the room just enough to fully reveal the girl in front of him without any of the grays that he had grown used to seeing in the dark living room. Her long red hair stood out the most. On the side of her face closest to him she had the red strands tucked behind her ear, but she left the other side free to hang down over her cheek. He looked at her light brown eyes and red lips, and then at her neck, following the lines of her collarbone past her shoulders. The small white t-shirt she wore hugged her body, tracing the curves across her chest and was short enough to reveal her bare stomach and hips. Harry felt a twinge of embarrassment as he stared longer than he should have at the toned lines on Ginny's stomach and the curve around her hips that vanished into the white cotton sweatpants she wore. He saw Ginny's stomach constrict inward and realized that it must have been a reaction to his continued gaze. A small part of his mind was stimulated by the thought that he had elicited a response from her this way, but the rest of his mind became alarmed with the thought of what that could mean. He quickly turned his glare back to Ginny's face, noticing the flush of red that was starting to show on her neck and cheeks.
Harry composed himself to say something, but again his mind failed to supply the necessary words. "I…um," Damn it, this is not happening, he thought. "No. Ginny. I don't see you as Ron's little sister." Not anymore that is. "I haven't really thought of you that way since we started writing each other this summer." His voice gaining more confidence as he continued to speak. "Probably not since you went with us last year to the Ministry." Harry paused to let Ginny reply, but when she didn't he took her hand, "And I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise." He said sincerely.
"For Merlin's sake Harry, you're really going to have to get more sleep or this bond…" Ron stopped in mid-sentence as he saw Harry and Ginny holding hands on the couch. "Er…Gin, what are you doing up?"
Harry quickly pulled his hand away as Ginny began to answer her brother. "I couldn't sleep after everything that happened last night. Why are you up so early?"
Ron looked at Harry for a moment and noticed the wet washcloth in Harry's hand. "I had a rough time sleeping last night as well." He said as he rubbed the back of his arm where his tattoo was. "What were you two doing before I came down."
"We were just talking." Harry said a little too quickly.
"Talking eh? Well that's good. Gin's been a bit of prat the last couple weeks, someone needed to talk to her." Ron said with a teasing grin.
"Shut it Ronald. Aren't you hungry or something?" Ginny said.
Ron's smile fell off his face when he noticed the newspaper on the couch next to Ginny. "Is there anything in the Daily Prophet about what happened last night?" he asked in a serious tone.
"It says a lot of things, most all of the paper is about the attacks or what happened at Azkaban." Harry replied.
Ron picked the paper up and settled into a chair across from Harry and Ginny. The room remained in complete silence for the next hour as Ginny read the Occlumency book, and Harry managed to fall into a somewhat peaceful sleep. When he woke he saw Neville and Hermione also in the living room, both of them looking at the paper. Ron was eating and Winky was setting a plate of breakfast in front of him. "Good morning Harry sir." The elf said.
"Morning Winky. Neville. Hermione. What time is it?" He asked.
"It's still early, only seven or so." Hermione said from behind the paper.
"What, you two couldn't sleep either?" Harry asked.
"I was up most of the night worrying about my parents. I sent a letter to them with Hedwig, I didn't think you'd mind." Hermione said.
"Same here," Neville said, "I spent most of the night thinking about my parents as well."
"Have you read all this Harry?" Hermione asked.
"I did, but most of it's nonsense." Harry said and started in on his breakfast.
"How do you know that?" Hermione asked with a tinge of disbelief in her voice.
"Not like it'd be a reach to say so Hermione." Ron interjected.
"It's more than that," Harry said before Hermione could begin arguing with Ron. "I know it's nonsense."
Ginny stopped reading the Occlumency book and gave Harry a worried look that he didn't notice. Harry went back to his breakfast, swallowing down a large gulp of pumpkin juice behind some eggs.
"How is it that you know?" Hermione said.
Harry swallowed the last bit of a piece of bacon before he looked up at the group staring at him. "Is anyone else up?" he asked. "Forget it. Winky?" he called out.
The elf was there in a pop. "Yes Master Harry sir." Winky said.
"I want to thank you for breakfast Winky, that was very nice of you to have that for me right as I woke up." This got the intended blush from the elf. Harry leaned in closer to Winky, "Is there anyone else in the house besides the people in this room?" he asked quietly.
Winky looked to her left and right before answering and replied in a secretive tone. "Yes Master Harry sir. The red headed lady who is always doing Winky's job in the kitchen is sleeping upstairs. Remus Lupin sir he is upstairs, but he is being awake."
Harry leaned back away from Winky, "Thank you Winky, would you please make sure that we are not disturbed and that no one can come through the floo?" Harry said.
"Of course Harry Potter Sir." Winky said and popped out of the room as quickly as she came.
"I have to tell you all some things." Harry said, his voice wavering. "I…realized a few things last night…and I…think you need to know…"
"Harry what is it?" Hermione said worriedly, "it's ok, just take your time."
Harry looked over to Ron to see if his friend could sense his trepidation. Ron gave him a worried look the same as Hermione, but he also offered a firm nod that was somehow reassuring.
"I saw what happened last night…I dreamt about it, but that's not what I want to tell you." Harry turned his head to the fireplace; he thought it would be easier not to look at his friends as he continued on. "When I saw all those people dying I realized how terrible this is going to get. Until now, I've always felt that the evil things Voldemort was doing were always directed at me. But after last night…that can't be true." Harry's voice faded out and he had to fight back a tear. He took a deep breath before continuing. "You all have been my friends and helped me thinking that we were just trying to stop Voldemort from coming back, or from trying to kill me. I know that's not true for me anymore, and after what I saw last night, it's unfair that you not know what you're getting involved with by being my friends."
"Harry what are you talking about? How do you know that what you dreamed was really happening? Hermione asked.
"I know because my scar kept me up most of the night, and then when I fell asleep down here I had visions of people being killed. Usually I don't get one without the other Herminone."
"But the Shimmering Skybiscus…" Neville said.
"Worked perfectly. Like I said no nightmares until I came down here. But it didn't stop the pain from coming through my scar." Harry interrupted. "Listen, it doesn't matter about the dreams. I won't argue about what they meant, or what anyone thinks I should do about it. I know what I need to do, more than you can imagine."
The room fell dead silent and Harry took a deep breath as he set his resolve to say the things he decided last night his friends needed to know. I can't let each of you stand with me without knowing what you're getting into. Without completely understanding just how much that makes you a target for Voldemort. I know all of you think that Voldemort has been after me because of what happened when I was a baby. But there was a reason he came specifically for me…because of a prophecy…one that Dumbledore didn't think I should know until the end of last year."
"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not...and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives...the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies…"
Harry watched his friends go pale as he finished reciting the prophecy. "Do you see why I'm telling you this? I can't let all of you choose to be my friends and not know that I'm either going to kill or be killed by Voldemort. I can't let all of you continue to think that I can hide behind Dumbledore or the Order, hoping to stay alive until this is over. You have to know that this will never be over unless I can defeat him, and if you choose to stand with me than you are choosing to stand directly against Voldemort. Knowing this means you know something that no other Order member knows, but more importantly, it's something that Voldemort does not know. Something he can never find out. You've always known it was dangerous to be associated with me, I'm sorry for that, but I'll still consider you my friends if you want to walk away from this while you still can."
No one said anything, and Harry was worried that they were going to walk away. The prophecy was too much for them, it has to be, he thought. Knowing that they'll most likely be right there when this thing goes down is too much to ask from them.
"It could have been me." Neville said as he looked to his feet. Everyone turned and stared. "That's why my parents were attacked as well." It went quiet again.
"Harry did Dumbledore explain what it means that 'either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives'? Does this mean that you can't be killed by anyone but Voldemort?" Hermione rambled.
"I don't know Hermione, I've thought about those things a lot since last spring." Harry said. "But that's not the point right now. Don't you understand what this means for all of you!"
"I hope you don't think I have to tell you I'm not going anywhere. Honestly I'm insulted if you'd thought that after your birthday." Ron said. "We all understand what you're saying."
"He's right Harry, no one is going to leave you to face this on your own." Hermione added.
"I told you earlier where I stand. Knowing this only makes me want to do more to help you." Ginny said.
"I've never been surer of anything in my life." Neville said.
The room fell quiet as each person fell into their thoughts. Suddenly Hermione stood up, causing the paper in her lap to crinkle loudly and fall to the floor. "Well, if we're going to help than I think we better get to it."
It wasn't much later that Harry found himself in the basement beneath the kitchen. Ron was showing an unwitting Ginny how to open the trap door leading to the corridor, while she was standing on it. Harry and Neville then listened to the sound of Hermione yelling at the red head all the way down the tube after he jumped in to get away from her scolding.
Neville hadn't said a thing since they left the living room, and Harry grabbed hold of his shoulder before he jumped into the tube. "Listen Neville, I'm sorry that no one told about the prophecy…I shouldn't have waited so long either, you deserved to know." Harry said.
"Why? It doesn't matter for me whether someone made a prophecy or not. My parents were attacked, and no matter what I find out now that's not going to change. They fought against V-Voldemort, and it's possible that even if they weren't attacked that night, it could have happened at some other time. He's back, and now I have an obligation to fight against him as well. I think the best way to do that is to help you, so that's what I'm going to do." Neville said.
Harry wasn't at all ready for that response, especially from Neville. Even more strange was that he couldn't think of a single reason why Neville was wrong, even if it did seem too simple. "Well, I don't know that this is going to matter as much to you as I thought it would then, but Lestrange is dead. She was killed during the attack on my house."
"Did you kill her?" Neville asked.
Harry looked down not really wanting to answer that question, "…she's just dead."
"I'm glad." Neville said and then stepped to the edge of floor over the tube. "Harry, what do you say to a duel? I need the practice, and I haven't really gotten to test my new wand, but really I just want to hex something." Neville said in a tone Harry hoped had some sarcasm.
"Sure, I guess." Harry replied.
Moments later he was walking past Ginny and Ron to the dueling platform, leaving Ron to show his sister how proficient he'd become with Sirius' throwing knives. "Are you ready Neville?" Harry said as he set himself in a planted position across from the young man.
"Ready Harry." Neville replied. "Specto Mortis!" Neville yelled and a black jet of light shot from his wand towards Harry's face.
Maybe Neville wasn't being sarcastic Harry thought to himself as he was barely able to lean out of the way of the spell. He barely had time to recover before another red light was flying at his feet. He jumped to his left quickly avoiding the spell. Harry didn't know what either of those spells had been, but through his constant duels with Sirius he did know that he couldn't continue dodging spells. Duels weren't won defensively. Harry quickly went into the bounce he used during boxing and easily avoided the next spell. Raising his wand for the first time sent a charm that flew well wide of Neville and hit one of the chairs next to Hermione at the library table, causing the startled witch to duck under the table. Instantly the chair hopped to life and began marching down the corridor to the dueling platform.
"Stupefy!" Neville screamed and Harry quickly threw up a Protego charm. Harry knew that Neville had just made a mistake, the spell was too simple and was chanted too loudly. Harry was able to put up the shield almost as soon as the spell left Neville's wand. It was an opportunity to end the duel, but one that he didn't want to take, instead he banished a chair cushion from across the room and it struck the boy on the side of his head.
Harry winked mischievously at Neville as he recovered from the harmless blow but didn't get an approving look in return. Neville returned to his dueling stance and cast a Tarantallegra curse followed by a tripping jinx. Again Harry used a protego shield to prevent both spells and cast a simple Stupefy to keep his opponent occupied.
Neville recognized the curse as soon as Harry cast it and placed his own protego shield to prevent it. He knew that Harry was toying with him, and the longer it went on the angrier he became. Almost screaming now he cast a succession of curses that he hoped would change the tide of the duel.
Harry watched the chair he charmed step up onto the platform behind Neville as the wizard sent a barrage of curses at him. He heard the first Expelliarmus spell, because Neville was screaming now as he cast, but he couldn't make sense of the other two. Fortunately, he was just able to dodge both and knew that there wouldn't be another before the chair reached it's target.
"Incarc…" Neville's words were cut off as the chair knocked his legs from under him forcing him into a seated position upon it. The arms of the chair quickly tightened around him pinning his wand hand against his leg. He looked up at Harry and saw another confident look that really pissed him off. The look disappeared as he saw Harry raise his arm to cast a spell that would surely end the duel. Quickly Neville threw his weight forward in the chair and kicked up with his feet, sending himself and the chair into the air. As his perspective went from the floor beneath him, to Harry in front him, then to the ceiling above he watched whatever spell it was Harry had cast fly just over his face before he came crashing to the floor. A pain shot through his back and into his side as the chair shattered under his weight, freeing his wand hand to cast a quick spell. "Accio glasses!" he said softly and saw Harry's glasses fly across the dueling platform in his hand.
Harry thought that when the chair had grabbed Neville, a simple petrifying curse was all that stood between him and the end of the duel. Now he was standing there dumfounded, and nearly blind as well, trying to figure out what in the hell he'd gotten himself into. It was about this time that it struck him that Neville was dead serious about this duel. Harry strained his eyes trying to discern what part of the blurred image in front of him was Neville. Without any other choice he sent three binding curses in the general direction of the boy, hoping it would at least buy him some time.
Neville was still on the floor when Harry shot the curses, but only had to dodge one of them as two were well off from where he lay. He watched as Harry squinted to see across the platform, and felt a twinge of satisfaction, as it looked nothing like the confident expression he'd seen from his opponent a moment ago. Neville stood as Harry fell to one knee and covered his eyes with the hand not holding his wand. He wasn't sure what Harry was up too, but after all he'd gone through he wasn't going to let the boy trick him into a loss. "Stupefy!" he yelled.
At the moment he heard Neville yell, Harry rolled backward and opened his eyes to see the training corridor clearly in the shades of gray that came with his animagus vision. "Incarcerous!" he said softly enough so Neville wouldn't hear him, but stern enough so the spell would be strong.
Neville watched the bolt of his spell land harmlessly on the floor where Harry once was, and then looked up to see a black-eyed Harry pointing his wand directly at him with ropes shooting out of the end of it. He tried to duck, but was too slow as the ropes wound tightly around him. This can't be it, Neville thought. He hadn't expected to win against Harry when the duel started, but after he got the wizard's glasses Neville was sure he'd be able to finish him. NO! Neville thought, this isn't it! He wouldn't accept that the ropes could hold him, but the more he fought the tighter they became.
Harry watched the boy struggle with the glowing white bindings around him. He watched as Neville's aura changed from a bright yellow to a vibrant red and he saw the determination on his friend's face through the glow. Damn, he doesn't give up. Harry thought.
Neville looked at the bindings and knew they couldn't hold him, nothing could get in his way, he was too big, too strong for all of that – he just needed to find the strength. He closed his eyes and felt an excruciating burning inside of him that caused him to scream as loud as he could. Only it wasn't his voice that he heard, instead it was the intense growl of a bear.
Harry brought his wand up to disarm Neville, hoping that it would finally convince his friend that the duel was over. The spell was at the tip of his mouth when he saw Neville's aura explode around him in a blinding red light and then he heard an ear-piercing moan that sounded a lot like a bear. When the flash subsided, Harry saw the brown bear behind that moan standing on its hind legs in front him, nearly three meters tall. "Neville, relax mate you're scaring me a bit here." Harry said to the large bear. "Neville? You win alright, I'm definitely not prepared to duel with you as a bear." Harry received no acknowledgment that the bear understood anything he was saying. When it returned to all fours, the bear moaned out another burst at Harry and began charging at him.
Ron, Ginny, and Hermione had long ago gathered at the base of the dueling platform to watch the boys go at it, and each of them yelled at the same time, "RUN!"
Harry looked over to his friends before following their order. He ran off the end of the platform behind him and towards the podium on the other end of the room. He could feel the thud of bear paws on the floor behind him and knew that there was no way he was going to outrun a bear. He looked ahead of him to the door that led back upstairs, but it was too far away. Then he looked up to the ceiling and saw that the shadows stood out as white against the grays in the rest of the room. Quickly he searched around him until he saw the chalkboard on the podium casting its own bright white shadow on the floor a few meters in front of him. Instinctively he turned towards it. Right as he dove head first to the white light he heard Hermione yell followed by a loud growl from just over his shoulder.
Everything flashed to white around Harry as he felt his insides searing with pain. He could only imagine this was death, and what he was feeling was his body being torn to pieces by a bear-crazed Neville. Eventually the pain diminished, but so did his human self-awareness, and as his eyes adjusted to the surrounding white light so did his conscious understanding of what he was.
This was the shadow, a sanctuary and a freedom, a place from where he could reach endless others. He sensed there was a presence behind him, and turned to see what it was. There, on the floor outside of the shadow, lay the unconscious, human form of Neville. He looked past the human at the room displayed in front of him, the sight of the world beyond the shadows always looked so surreal. Like a scene that was drawn by pencil and he was looking through a window into it. Soon he saw color drawn images of Hermione, Ron and Ginny running up to Neville as they screamed to each other about him.
"What in the bloody hell just happened!" Ron said. "And where in the world has Harry gone?"
Caw!
"What in the hell was that?" Ron asked and looked towards the floor beneath him.
"It sounded like a bird or something." Ginny said staring in the same direction.
Caw! Caw!
"There it was again!" Hermione said nervously.
He watched his friends turn circles trying to find out where the noise he'd created had come from; it was a sight that provided great amusement. But when they stopped searching and started calling out, he decided to ignore their cries to instead examine himself. Through aves eyes he saw the brilliant white glow of his body beneath him, he held out one talon to inspect it, and then the other. He opened his wings and felt a flush of air pass underneath, ready to lift him from the floor. He turned around to the white tunnel of shadow behind him and saw numerous other windows, each displaying a pencil drawn image of various places throughout the room and house.
"We've got to do something!" Hermione said frantically. "Harry's gone and Neville's going to be in a lot of pain when he wakes up."
"What was that spell you cast on him anyway?" Ginny asked.
"It was a version of the Hormorphus charm, but the notes and all the texts say that the first transformation is terribly painful, especially when you turn back to your human form."
He watched the humans panicking and thought it was time to make his presence known to them. "Caw!" he said as he jumped and flew at the image of the room before him.
"HOLY HELL, LOOK OUT!" Ron said as the bird appeared out of the shadow on the floor beneath them. He watched them jump out of the way as he flew past and perched on the top of the podium.
"Is that Harry?" Ginny asked nervously.
Harry, that was his other form's name he recalled. "Caw Caw." He responded and flew onto the shoulder of Hermione. The blue aura around the girl being the one he felt most drawn to.
Hermione went as stiff as a board when the large bird landed on her. "Harry, I really hope that is you, because I am seriously freaking out right now."
"Caw."He said softly.
Ginny slowly reached out and brushed her hand affectionately against the top of the bird's head. "It looks like a crow or a raven, except for those beautiful green specs in his eyes." She said. "I always thought they were ugly before, but look how the light makes rainbow colors on the black feathers."
He cawed angrily, causing Hermione to flinch from the sound so close to her ear. He looked down at himself and still saw that he was all white, and glowing even more brilliantly now that he was in surrounded by Hermione's aura. He watched as his glow blended into hers, and then he could feel Hermione's presence throughout him. It was warm, comfortable, and even though there was apprehension, it was overcome by affection and the strong energy flowing from her.
"Harry, do you think you can change yourself back or do you need me to use the Hormorphus charm?" Hermione asked.
Why would he want to change back, he thought. His other form was so burdened, and all that he felt now was freedom – and connection. This was how life was meant to be, at peace with oneself, and with the life around you. Knowing that meant you could find purpose, and he knew more than anything that purpose was something his human form felt little of.
So instead of answering the girl he launched from her shoulder and flew around the room. He went up as high as the ceiling would allow and then freefell back towards the floor. From one end of the corridor to the other he soared, and the more he flew the greater he desired to be free of the confining room. Once again, the shadows were his release. Without hesitation, he dove into one and out of another on the complete opposite side of the corridor, and he kept skipping between them like a bolt of lightning through clouds. This was freedom, and it was sublime. Unlike his human form, there was nothing that could contain him, no one to bother him with silly prophecies, or the burdens of an unwanted future. Life was now and it was enough to simply be a part of it – connected yet free.
Eventually the conscious of his human form began to push itself forward, apparently this much freedom was more than he was ready for. Defeated he took a last ascent to the top of the room and then dove to a chair near Hermione, spreading his wings just in time to land gracefully on the back of it.
"That's Harry alright." Ron mused as he watched the bird fly just the same as his best friend did on a broom.
"Harry can you change back on your own," Hermione asked and received a sideways look from the bird, "…or do you need me to use the Hormorphus charm?"
He took a long reverent look at the girl's blue aura and then hopped down to the seat of the chair. "caw." He said with his head bowed sadly. Even if he was willing to consider how to change back, he didn't have it in him to do so. Hermione raised her wand and he watched the orange magic channel from her center until it reached her wand and shot towards him.
There was no physical pain when Harry returned to his human form, something that Sirius had told him there would be a great deal of. But the grief he felt in its place seemed like a worse pain. His eyes, still black and flecked with green spots, stayed fixed on the floor beneath him.
"Harry mate, what's wrong?" Ron said kneeling next to his friend and lowered his voice to a whisper. "This is the worst it's ever been."
Harry looked up to the red head. "I don't want to be me…to be this part of me." He said and as he looked up a milky white tear fell from his eye. "I need to be alone." He stood from the chair and walked silently past Hermione and Ginny to the door out of the corridor.
AN: For anyone whose followed the posts at the Yahoo group, my word is pretty worthless right now as far as it concerns when I say I'm going to get things done with this story. I can only say that I don't like it as much as the rest of you when an author takes as long as I have to update their fic. And so I can only tell you that I'm trying my best to get back to updating once or twice a week. Sometimes the words flow, lately they haven't been.
However, continuing with my inability to stay true to anything I've said about this fic, I obviously didn't get back to Hogwarts with this chapter like I intended. It's not that the outline didn't call for it, but rather that it's taken me so long to get to this point that I didn't want to hold off posting an update any longer.
Thanks to everyone for reading. I plan on posting the responses to chapter 19's reviews tomorrow…for whatever that statement is worth at this point. :P
Cheers,
Omagic