~Day Four~

            "Rise and shine, my Romeos in the making!" Washu beamed at first light, ending the pilots' futile tossing and turning.  "We have class today."

            "Huh?" Quatre wobbled off the floor.  "What class is that?"

            "We'll call it a refresher course, though that's being polite." Washu pressed a button on a remote and the pointed stick was in her hand.  The room phased out and then back in as the claustrophobic school room.  "Find your seats pupils.  I'm going to make sure my education gets through to you this time."

            The gundam crew exhaustedly placed themselves into the seats, deep, dark circles beneath their eyes.  Trowa was present, and the others wanted to question him, but knew better than speaking out of turn.

            "Shall we try roll again this morning?" Washu marched in front of a blackboard, teacher's pleated skirt showing off too much leg.  "Yuy?"

            "Here."

            "Maxwell?"

            "Here, ma'am." Duo gulped.

            "Barton?"

            "Here."

            "Winner?"

            "Here."

            "Wufei?"

            "Here…"

            Washu stopped pacing and faced the class, looking coyly pleased.  "Do you see what marvelous progress we've made together?  You've learned how to properly respond during a roll.  Now, imagine how uneducated you'd be if we'd never undertaken this class?"

            "Yes, ma'am." Duo gulped again.

            "In fact, I've seen many improvements in you.  The assignment appears to be very motivational… and tiring." She took a short walk to stand by Quatre's desk.  She lifted his face with a finger under his chin.  "Yes… it looks like you've been losing a lot of sleep over your studies, haven't you?"

            Quatre yawned heavily despite his attempts to stifle it.

            "And yet," Washu let Quatre's head drop back down.  "Despite these improvements, I expected so much more from all of you." Her voice turned deadly serious.  "This course does not turn out unsuccessful students.  I expect an A from each of you!" WHAP!  She punctuated her demand with a smart slap of the stick against her palm.  "Are you ready for intensive cramming?  Finals are coming soon."

            The pilots shifted nervously in their seats.

            "Are you READY?"

            "Yes, ma'am." A chorus of submission replied.

            "Excellent!" Washu smirked.  "To begin with, I want to hear what your intentions for today are.  I hope you have well prepared research.  Yuy?"

            Heero looked upward, trying to devise a response.  "I planned to attempt the giving of a gift.  I have suspicion that presents bring the targets into a grateful mode."

            "What sort of gift?" Washu asked, making it clear that there was a right and wrong answer to her question.

            "Uh… chocolate?" Heero grimaced.

            "Chocolate." Washu nodded absently.  "Chocolate.  I see." She pulled a hook above the blackboard and a diagram descended with big pictures and labels.  "Gift giving is an art form, class.  The type of presentations you give to your Juliets will produce different responses varying upon the classification.  Who can tell me what classification chocolate falls under?"

            Duo raised his hand.

            "Maxwell?"

            "It falls under the brown category."

            WHAP! "Not what I was looking for.  Chocolate is the type of gift you might give to a new acquaintance.  It falls under the 'crush classification,' or maybe the 'infatuation classification.'  Do you remember the three R's?"

            "Romance raises ratings." Trowa provided.

            "Very good."

            WHAP!  WHAP!  WHAP!  "Why'd you do that?" Heero rubbed his sore wrist.

            "Because the requirement in this class is romance; not crushes or infatuations!  That stuff's for teenagers!"

            "We are teenagers…" Quatre said.  WHAP!

            "Keep up that self-defeating attitude, and I will flunk you, Winner.  Let us discuss what gifts represent romance, true love.  Any thoughts?"

            Duo raised his hand.  "Roses?"

            "Yes, that's a little better.  But my suggestion to you, Yuy, is to determine something more personal to give to your object of affection.  Something that resonates so closely to her personality that she can't afford to ignore it, or you.  A gift that will create romance, where there was once no romance.  If you can pull that off, I'll consider giving you extra-credit."

            "Like what?" Heero didn't understand any of it.

            "Your assignment, school boy.  Moving on.  Maxwell, what is your study strategy for today?" Washu wielded the pointy stick in case something stupid was coming.

            "Me?  I thought maybe I'd spend the day apologizing."

            "Apologizing!?"

            "Yeah, we got into a bit of a misunderstanding last night after the ball.  I need to clear that up ASAP." Duo folded his arms behind his head as if the misunderstanding was no big deal.

            "And you were doing so well.  Oh well, there is an art to apologies as well.  How were you planning to do it?"

            "Well I'll tell you, I was planning to have Quatre here go and verify a few things I said last night, just to confirm my reliability." WHAP!

            Washu slapped her forehead.  "You were going to have somebody else apologize for you?  What kind of loser does that!?  You need a new plan!"

            "Ow…" Duo wondered if Washu had sharpened the pointy stick since the last class.  "Go easy, lady." He applied the 'puppy-dog eyes' expression.

            Washu pointed at the pathetic pilot.  "That!  That expression!"

            "What?"

            "It's gold, man, that's what!" She yanked down a new chart that described various methods of looking adorable.  "You just performed expression number sixteen!"

            "Uh… okay." Duo pretended to look interested.  "What's it do?"

            Washu was too caught up in her lecture to apply a WHAP.  "Number sixteen tends to evoke the mother load of sympathetic feelings, and often invites returned affection as well.  Where'd you learn to do that so well?  I certainly didn't teach you…"

            Duo stuck his nose high in the air.  "Nobody taught me.  I'm a natural."

            WHAP!  "Knock off the superior attitude, no woman finds number twenty-seven attractive."

            "I was doing number twenty-seven?"

            Washu nodded.  "And you almost pulled a number nine halfway through… be glad you didn't because I'd be beating you senseless if you had.  Now for your assignment, I recommend using number sixteen as accompaniment to an IWW."

            Heero raised his hand.  "What's an IWW?"

            "Only the most important form of apology to use when dealing with a woman!  In fact, I would never recommend using anything other than an IWW.  There is just no other effective method."

            "But what does it mean?"

            "Oi.  Repeat after me class, 'I was wrong'."

            The pilots shrugged and complied.  "I was wrong."

            "Very good.  An IWW smoothes over more disagreements than you could imagine before trying it yourself.  In fact, I'm assigning some extra homework today.  I want each one of you to use an IWW today, and write a report describing the situation and result.  That will be due tomorrow."

            "What if we have no reason to use an apology?" Quatre asked timidly.

            "When dealing with girlfriends, there is a reason to use an IWW every twenty-four hours of your life.  Get used to it, it's the truth." She sat on top of her desk and kicked her legs, stick resting in her lap.  "Please share your plans for the day with the class, Barton."

            Trowa seemed suddenly stiff and self-conscious.  "You're not going to like it."

            "If it's conductive towards your A, I'll understand."

            "Alright then.  My plan is to obliterate Tenchi's birthday."

            Washu and the rest of the class stared at Trowa dryly.  "Why again?"

            Trowa sighed and looked downcast.  "Because if I don't, Ryoko's going to spend all day with Tenchi, and I simply do not have time to lose.  Tenchi is in my way, and although he's never done anything against me, he will suffer the consequences."

            "That's ah… very ruthless, Barton." Washu sweatdropped and got off of the desk.  "Nothing too brutal, I hope?"

            "I'll do what I have to."

            "I see.  That brings up an interesting subject.  Dealing with rivals is a difficult situation, but true love often requires a test of your devotion.  I'm afraid Tenchi has a lot of advantages over you, Barton.  In that case, the best course of action would be to do your best to outclass your opponent and keep the attention off of him as much as possible."

            "My intention exactly."

            "Well," Washu shrugged.  "Good luck with that.  Since it's Ryoko we're talking about, you're going to have to find out how to impress her sense of adventure.  The only thing you've got on Tenchi is that you're willing."

            Trowa turned a tinge pink.  "You mean I'm forced."

            The schoolteacher grinned patiently.  "You could say that.  I'd call it available, but whatever.  If you're going to succeed, you will have to convince Ryoko that it's worth her time… and she likes having a wild time.  Take note."

            Trowa just started doing his classic 'I don't care' expression.

            "Okay Winner, let's hear your schedule."

            "Well… how about a picnic?" Quatre said hopefully.

            Washu sighed.  "How about something a little less grade school?  I think you've lost sight of your goals.  You're shooting for romance, not cutesy dates.  I think you should throw all ideas of picnics, and bowling alleys, and movies out the window… unless it's a drive-in movie of course.  Do you understand me?"

            "Yes, ma'am…"

            "So what's your new plan?"

            "Should I take Mihoshi to the symphony?"

            WHAP!  "NO!  You haven't been paying proper attention!  Mihoshi already likes you, so you don't have to bother with all this first-date crap anymore!  You need to buy a bottle of wine and get a hotel room." Washu seethed.

            "I can't do that!  It isn't right!"

            WHAP!  "Why not!?"

            "Because I'm doing it for selfish reasons!" Quatre proclaimed.

            WHAP!  "Aren't all men?  This is your ticket home, blondie.  If you have a real problem, let me know about it, but these excuses don't pay the dimensional gate fare."

            Quatre visibly sulked.

            "You have two assignments due tomorrow.  The IWW report, and I want to see a big smile on Mihoshi's face over the next breakfast."

            "I'm not doing it."

            "Then I'm flunking you, and you can forget the hotel in your search for a new residence in this dimension.  You do what I say, got it?"

            Quatre visibly sulked more intensely.

            "Good." Washu flexed the well-used stick.  "Wufei, what do you have to share?"

            "I have no plans."

            WHAP!  "I already knew that, but you get WHAPPED anyway!  Why don't you have plans?"

            Wufei growled.  "Because I don't want to do this assignment, and even if I did, there's nobody for me to do this assignment on."

            "You're complaining because the girls are already taken?"

            "Kind of."

            Washu chuckled with little amusement.  "Ryoko and Ayeka were already spoken for, but you don't hear their admirers complaining!  You might have a little competition on your hands, but I thought you excelled under conditions like that?  I thought you were a fighter?"

            "Maybe in the war, but not under these flimsy motivations."

            WHAP!  "Don't argue with your teacher.  I'm going to assign you a field trip to get you on the right track.  If it's not completed by tomorrow, you flunk."

            "I could strangle-"

            WHAP!  "You have to go hither and initiate conversation with one of the girls, and then you have to be polite!  I know it's a big step for you, but I insist.  You're also going to have to find a way to bring back proof."

            Wufei grumbled evilly.

            "Alright!  That straightens out your schedules for the day.  I hope you're all terribly aware that your time limit is over half gone, and you still have a long ways to go.  I suggest you all scamper off and see to your challenges of the day.  I expect great deeds.  Class dismissed."