Some times Dutchy complains, loudly1 about how hard it is in his family. His mother sometimes has a hard time remembering that her son's boyfriend can't hear. I know that they sometimes get into arguments about how Dutchy should make me learn to read lips because that's the only way I'll be able to get a job and be productive in this society. I know its hard for him sometimes, most of his friends come to visit and for them the idea of me being Deaf is strange and they don't really get it. He has a hard time translating all the time. He has to translate what I say to them and then what they say back to me, as well as keeping on a conversation.
I know its not fair, but Its my culture. When I was first going to school I lived out side of this district. There wasn't another Deaf kids in the school, so the teachers were really pressuring me to read lips. I didn't mind because it wasn't too bad. It was the only way to communicate with my new friends. But soon my friends started picking up sign words and my parents hired a translator for me. The school board decided that it wasn't a good idea, That I needed to learn to speak and read lips.
It was hell. They hired a speech teacher to sit me in front of a mirror and to copy her mouth movements trying to understand what was going on. I sounded like a fool. Then that stupid woman won Miss America. She started talking about how wonderful it was for her to learn to talk. But for me it was hell. My family is all deaf, no one speaks or even reads lips proficiently. It isn't done in my family.
Also when I was doing these speech classes I was locked essentially in a small room with only that retched women who would slap my hands when I tried to sign. My parents thought it might have been a good idea to read lips, but I was too embarrassed to tell them about what the speech teacher was doing.
It was hard to sign comfortably at home, but my family didn't know what my half hearted speech attempts were. I was only seven at the time so trying to keep two languages separate was nearly impossible. The other students now thought I was stupider then when I had simply signed to them.
Eventually my parents found out. They were shocked that the school had let the speech teacher do that to me. Something the school had forgotten was that I wasn't from a hearing family. In trying to stop me signing they had essentially cut off my communication with my family. It actually took a really long time for the training of that horrible woman to leave me.
After that my family was looking for places for me to go, so we moved here. My dad got a teaching position at a local deaf University and my mom stayed at home with my new baby brother, also Deaf, I was finally at a school where I could sign and be with other Deaf kids.
Because of my experience before I have become really rigid about my culture. I lip read, but mainly because I want to. Its also hard to follow instructions if you can't. My parents feel better about every thing that's going on now. And its nice to be in a place you belong.
I know its somewhat selfish of me not to make everyone else's life easier but, Its my life, and I've already tried to ignore who I am. I'm Deaf. And proud of it!
Author's notes: Maybe I should mention that my school is working towards integration of D/deaf kids. We're investing a lot of money in it and I am one of the kids who is really trying to learn sign and the culture surrounding it. OH! Just remembered. At borders, there is this guy, looks like Specs, and HIS BOY FRIEND IS DEAF AND LOOKS LIKE DUTCHY! I so freaked out when I realized that. He helped me get books on Deaf culture and ASL. By the way ASL dictionaries are in the disabilities section! I am pissed about that. They should be in the language…
1) This is possible, when you make exaggerated movements in sign its like speaking loud or yelling depending on how big
Cards on: Hair dye, Dyed mine a while ago, like Collin….
ASL Resources (This is a new Section, where I'll give some history site or ASL Site)
-It has a feature to practice Finger spelling too!