I Don't Want To Be Alone Chapter 4: Revelations, a harry potter fanfic

A/N: Thanks a lot to everyone who reviewed my last chapter. I means a lot that you liked it and I'll try to read yours whenever possible. I hope this next chapter meets your expectations and again, please R&R!

The song lyrics for "Fear" in this chapter belong to Sarah McLachlan, a singer I hugely recommend if you've never heard of her. Plus, thanks to my beta, Angel, who's given me so many great ideas since I started talking to her.

4.Revelations

It was a long while before Severus removed himself from the doorway and re-entered his office. Pushing aside one of the old tapestries, he made his way into his private chamber.

Seated heavily in his comfortable leather chair, he began to reflect on what he had seen. This wasn't how the evening had been planned at all. It was meant to be a simple detention, some work on the article he hoped to publish on the making of Wolfsbane Potion, perhaps a strong drink and then an early retirement to bed.

The look in Hermione's eyes had been all to clear to him- Fear. The type of fear that left souls broken, faith undone. Yes, he recognised it well. He'd seen it at every Death-Eater's Gathering, every Dark Revel. Not only in the faces of the ill-fated Muggles, but in himself most of all. Severus was no longer curious at her silence, but the reason behind it. Had she simply lost her ability to trust? Or had she seen something she was physically unable to retell? His mind drifted back to that ill-fated day not so long ago...

In April of that year, all hell had broken loose. Death Eaters openly demonstrated their allegiance, the death toll rose ever higher every day and most of all; Hogwarts was safe no longer. Children of those who were faithful to the Dark Lord whispered secrets; Muggle-borns were harmed in plain sight and there were rumours that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had a very well placed spy in a position at Hogwarts. Trust was very hard to come by at that time, nobody dared say too much.

When the time came that Dumbledore decided Harry Potter needed more protection than Hogwarts and his uncle's home, he moved him to a safe house, along with the Weasley family. A Secret-Keeper was to be established, Dumbledore himself.

The evening before this took place, Hermione, although she protested, was taken home, or at least, that was the intention. From Hogwarts, Tonks took her to Hogsmeade station, to see her home and then to return to the Order of the Phoenix Headquarters. Seconds before Hermione had stepped onto the train, a man had raced onto the platform, dressed solely in black with a mask covering his face. He had been carrying a shoe in one hand and lunged forward to push it into one of hers. Before Tonks could react, the connection had already been made and Hermione gasped in horror as the Death-Eater smiled cruelly.

"Just where do you think you're going…Mudblood?"

Tonks had apparated to Headquarters instantly. In the kitchen Dumbledore, Snape and Arthur Weasley had been sitting at the table, talking quietly. They had all stared at the dreadful expression on the witch's face before jumping to their feet and asking what had happened.

"Death-eater…Portkey…Hermione…"

Upon hearing those words, there was great commotion. More members were summoned and some raced to the location of her disappearance. As the Fidelius Charm had not been cast yet and Harry had not been moved to his place of hiding, no one was in any doubt what Voldemort wanted Hermione for.

Snape had agonised over his decision but finally he went to Dumbledore and began speaking in a low voice.

"I've been thinking…perhaps if I were to Apparate to the Dark Lord's side. Almost certainly, he'll be questioning her…torturing her for information about Potter. If I were to do that, then-"

"Severus, you would be killed," replied Albus. "I cannot allow that. You're too valuable to the Order. You would be simply placing another opportunity into Voldemort's hands. It would be far too suspicious if you Apparated just after Hermione's disappearance."

"I could take a Portkey. Make sure she gets it and then…let him do with me what he will."

"Even if we could sacrifice you, there's no possible way to guarantee she's in a condition to receive it."

Severus raised his eyes to Albus's own. "You mean..…" An unanswered question shook in his voice.

"No, I do not believe she is dead. But weak, yes. We must find her soon. I fear her resolve to stay silent will not crumble and Voldemort will tire of her."

"Albus…if there was ever a time to redeem myself, it should be now. If…when he manages to break through the barrier in her mind…he'll know where Potter is, how to find him."

"I'm glad you're concerned for his welfare, Severus bu-"

"You know full well that it is not him I care about! If the Dark Lord manages to get his hands on him…his power would be," he looked to Dumbledore.

"Unrivalled."

But still he wouldn't allow him to leave. He sat, frustrated for what seemed like hours until the call came. Dumbledore came for him, Harry by his side, eyeing Snape with obvious distrust and confusion.

"It's time Severus, she has been found. And we are needed."

Severus nodded and Disapparated from the kitchen, followed shortly by Dumbledore and Harry holding to a Portkey. The moment he Apparated, he knew where he was. The repulsion ran through him like a knife.

"Severus. You return to my side at last. Unfortunately, in light of the current situation, I very much doubt you are here to declare your faithfulness to me. You have strayed from me, betrayed me, and even attempted to 'redeem yourself'."

Snape suddenly realised something through the Dark Lord's words. No longer was he to droop his head, to adhere to his cruelty.

His head slowly rose and he looked at Voldemort directly. "Did you think I couldn't see through your lies?" the vindictive mouth hissed. "Crucio!"

Snape was lifted through the air, stabbing pains in his chest as he slammed into the opposite wall. He groaned at the ache that existed everywhere but he managed to pull himself up and looked to Dumbledore for a sign. Albus nodded and drew his wand, as did Severus his eyes glinting with a renewed sense of purpose.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

But I fear
I have nothing to give
I have so much to loose here in this lonely place
Tangled up in our embrace
There's nothing I'd like better than to fall
But I fear I have nothing to give.
I have so much to lose.
I have nothing to give.

Still stricken, Hermione crept quickly up the stone steps leading to Gryffindor Tower. When she reached the portrait hole, she stopped. It wasn't that late and she guessed Ron and Harry would still be up, most likely waiting for her to recount her tale of detention. She knew that the minute she tried to deflect one of their questions, she would burst into sobs again.

Instead, she turned around and headed for the second floor.

She entered the out-of-order bathroom, which was permanently littered with puddles.

"Myrtle?" she called out quietly and waited. There was no reply, so she assumed the ghost was either haunting the Prefect's Bathroom or travelling the plumbing throughout the school.

She splashed slightly as she made her way to the only dry corner she could see and sank down so that she was sitting on the floor. She drew her knees up to her chest and rested her head on them.

Hermione had thought that she'd managed to stop those memories, which were now flowing freely in her brain, from escaping. But there was no ceasing the hurtful recollections that soared in her mind.

She remembered being flung down stone steps, until she rolled across the cold floor. Her wrists were tied together, thus she could not reach for her wand, which lay hidden inside her robes.

She'd known it was the end. She'd believed it. How long until he brought her to face him again? How much could she take before he hacked into her mind and found exactly what he was looking for? Dumbledore had taught her certain defences that one could use against Legilimency and the less two fatal Unforgivable Curses, but in the end, what was a sixteen-year old witch's power against Voldemort?

So she lay there, simply waiting, weak from barricading her thoughts against his attacks. The Cruciatus Curse had left her head thudding with a dull ache.

And like some knight in shining armour out of a fairytale, he appeared. Cradling her body to his, he stunned the Death-Eaters standing guard and took her away. The next thing Hermione remembered was waking in the Hogwart's hospital wing. Her arms and legs ached but her head was perfectly clear.

He stood at the foot of her bed, gazing out of the window, at the storm that was raging outside. She lifted her head from the pillow. "Is it over?"

Wind in time
Rapes the flower trembling on the vine
And nothing yields to shelter it from above.
The say temptation will destroy our love.
The never-ending hunger

For a long time, he did not speak or even turn to face her. From his stance, she could not tell his facial expression, but when he spoke, his voice was calm. "It's over." He left her as Ron and Harry entered and raced to the bed.

"Are you okay?"

"How are you feeling?"

She had smiled weakly at them and repeated his words. "It's over. I'm just fine."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She returned to the dormitory much later. Nobody remained in the common room and her fellow Gryffindor seventh-year girls slept soundly in their beds. She slipped between the sheets and forced herself to close her eyes and slip away.

Heavy rain pelted against the dorm window with a relentless malice. Nearby thunder rumbled across the sky in a wordless display of raw hunger. Splinters of lightening struck across the ominous, dark sky, spilling brief flashes of light across the tranquil landscape below. With each strike, the relentless shadows of the night seemed to creep ever closer.

Four bodies slept peacefully under the waning light of the moon, secure inside their dreams and oblivious to the night's growing conflict. In the fifth bed, the slumbering form of Hermione Granger tossed and turned as the sheets clung feverishly to her moist body. Hermione's pale fingers dug into the soft material of her comforter as beads of sweat glistened and dribbled down, drenching her nightgown.

As soon as she sat up in bed, gasping wildly, she realised that it had been a mistake to sleep. Sweat poured over her as she shivered in early morning air. Her head held an echo of the piercing laughter she had heard, the flashes of green illumination battered her eyes like lightening.

Hermione curled into a ball, her heart pounding in her ears. Visions, of the dream, no, nightmare she had just experienced, danced through her mind with all the grace of a ballerina. The feeling living inside of her was as though all her internal organs had plummeted to her feet, leaving her empty, a shell. But not devoid of emotion. Quite the opposite, in fact.

She jumped from the bed, covers sprawled on the floor. Pulling on her robe, she walked quickly and decisively. There was only one face she could see; only one voice she knew would truly understand her fear.

Perhaps in her right mind, she would have stopped to glance at a mirror and straighten out her appearance. But her streaked face and dishevelled hair didn't occur to her as she left, half running to the dungeons.

When she reached them, her eyes heavy with sleep and dry tears, groped at all the doors available to her. Why was it so confusing now?

"Lost little lamb are we?"

Startled, she grabbed her wand and whirled around, brandishing it at whoever had disturbed her. Filch, who had merely looked satisfied at catching a student out of bed so late, was now angry. "I wouldn't go pointing that thing around. It'll only get you in more trouble and believe me, you're in for more than your fair share," he told her, a sadistic glint shining in his eyes.

Hermione didn't care; she would have readily Stunned him on the spot except some restraint pulled her back. "I daresay Professor Snape will want a say in your punishment. Oh, yes. And you're a Gryffindor student as well," he added, eyeing the badge sewn to her school robes. "How…convenient".

He took a few steps down the chilling corridor and rapped sharply on Snape's office door. No answer. He knocked again, until the faint sound of footsteps was heard.

"Who's there?"

"Argus, Professor, I have something you may like to see."

They heard him shuffling around in his office mumbling to himself. "If it's not some unidentified noise, it's Peeves's exploits. Every night, every bloody night. Would it kill the man to sleep for once?"

The door flew open. Snape, looking distinctly ruffled, appeared. "What is it now, Filch?" he began and his eyes fell on Hermione, who was now trembling from the cold and giving him the strangest look he had ever received from a student. It was as if she was pleading with him with her gaze. "Miss. Granger."

"Indeed, Professor. Out of bed, wondering the dungeons, trying to cause trouble no doubt. I would suggest, Professor, that you-"

"Thank you Filch. I will deal with this," said Snape dismissively. He gestured for Hermione to follow him into the office, shutting the door behind them. Filch, not sure whether to be satisfied or not, stared at the closed door for a time but then continued with his nighttimes prowling, Mrs. Norris at his heels.

Inside the office, Severus sat Hermione down. He surveyed her until she began to speak. "I couldn't sleep. I had a nightmare."

He raised an eyebrow. "And you came to me, of all people?" He swiftly hated himself. How could he just toss what she had said away, when he knew what it meant?

Her voice was a whisper. "I couldn't think of anyone else." She slumped in the chair. Maybe coming to him had been a mistake. She rose, only to be pulled back to her chair by a strong hand on her arm. She shivered at his touch and swallowed.

"You're not going anywhere. Not just yet. I need to know what you saw. If your reaction was anything to go by, this needs to be dealt with."

Hermione still didn't say anything, her gaze too deeply rooted on the hand gently resting on her arm. A slight tingling sensation wound its way through her, reminding her of currents of electricity.

"Miss. Granger.... Believe me when I tell you that reliving memories such as yours and locking them inside of you will pull you into an abyss of fear. Fear that would not remain if you simply talked about it."

Finally she opened her mouth. "It's hard…to talk."

"Then show me." His voice quietly brought her to face him. Hermione slowly nodded,

Severus took her hands in his own. "Just let me in. Don't fight it," She closed her eyes. She felt safe, unlike the swirling stream of emotions that had enveloped her before.

Suddenly, he realised that she trusted him. He doubted that she would have closed her eyes and allowed him to guide her without it. Breathing out softly, he let himself be pulled into her mind. She didn't resist. Simply showed him what he needed to see.

When he was done, she opened her eyes. His were gazing back at her, seeming to penetrate her. For the final time that night, she cried. He held her to him, rocking her gently until her tears stilled.

"It's so hard to breathe," she had whispered.

"I know," he softly replied.

He held her until her lids drooped once more and she lay peacefully in his arms. He took her into his bedroom and placed her on the bed. Before leaving, he stooped to drop a light kiss on her forehead. Not knowing what had come over him, he left, resigning himself to a restless night on the couch.

In the early hours of the morning, Severus climbed the stairs and pushed open the door leading to the Headmaster's office.

Heavily, he regarded the twinkle less eyes of the older wizard. "What have you learned, Severus?" asked Albus Dumbledore.