A/N: Thanks a lot for your reviews. It means a lot to me when I see a nice word and it does tend to send me on a bit of a high. grins Anyway, school's back in again tomorrow and I'm starting my final year. I have no idea how much free time I'll have but I'll update as frequently as I can.
I like where the story's going so far and have a vague idea of a sequel, and my beta Angel's helped me sort it out in some sort of make-sense order, as well as giving me lots of new ideas. Thanks. :) If you have any comments, please tell me or e-mail me.
Please R & R if you enjoy!
5. Trust and Guilt
The elder wizard reclined in his chair, his brow furrowed, surveying Severus over his half-moon spectacles. "I must ask that you do not desert Miss. Granger in her time of need, Severus. You often have a tendency to pull away from others when you reach the point of trust. I fear that I have often been the one to stand by and watch as you let yet another relationship slip away."
"Albus, I don't need you to validate me. Herm- Miss. Granger would thrive more from your knowledge and your compassion. She holds you in higher opinion than most, respects you more than any other. It would be better for her to come to you."
"Have you ever truly felt that Hermione does not respect you?" Severus didn't speak. "Hermione doesn't need my assurance or learning, Severus. She does not need to understand, she needs to be understood. My advice and well wishings can only do so much. She has to feel that the person she addresses her deepest fears to, recognises those fears within themselves."
"What are exactly are you asking me of?"
"You may do as you wish Severus. Though I must advise you to have patience."
"It's too much to expect that she can learn to have fortitude, like you instilled me with, Albus. It takes time. She's little more than a child. Her whole life ahead of her, marred by a single memory."
"She is more than a child. You have long since established that." Severus stood. " I will do what I can."
"I am sure of that." He turned, walking to the door. With each step, his pace quickened and his features were more set, more determined. "Oh, and Severus?" Snape paused at the door and turned towards the headmaster. "Time heals all wounds, it is only we who procrastinate."
Almost feverishly, her body, lying atop the green cotton sheets tossed and turned. A hand gripped her cheek, staining it with red creases as the sleeper dropped further into her dreams.
Hermione walked slowly, unsteadily along the ground. Her vision was blurred and she stumbled, using her outstretched arms to break her fall. She struggled to recall what had happened to her. She remembered, hazily, waving and attempting to smile at Tonks, although her heart felt so heavy at leaving them and the corners of her mouth wilted. The witch waving back, disguising her youth with tightly pinned silver hair and a wrinkled face, also had a tight smile on her features until it was replaced with a look of utter shock. She had darted forwards, drawing her wand but it was too late.
Hermione whirled to have a shoe forced into her hand and a cruel mouth whisper into her ear. The voice meant something to her, she recognized it…but from where?
A strong pulling sensation, somewhere behind her navel, grabbed her and yanked her forwards. The moment she arrived at her destination, a hand forced her neck roughly backwards and threw a foul-tasting potion down her throat. She had lost consciousness and woken to…this.
Her distorted sight was slowly beginning to clear and the disorientated feeling she had had was leaving her. A high, cold laugh slapped her eardrums. She winced and looked up which resulted in her stumbling backwards in terror. Voldemort.
A voice said mockingly, "Mudbloods." A quiet laughter filled the room.
"Now, now, Charles. Let it get to its feet before you knock it down again."
"Imperius!"
Hermione's feelings of horror were suddenly alleviated. She had entered a kind of dreamlike state. She felt soothed, relaxed and allowed herself to close her eyes, completely at ease.
A voice wormed its way into her mind. "Get up."
Hermione nodded slightly and began to pull herself to her feet. But then she stopped.
Why?
"Get up. Now."
Again, she started to stand. You don't want to stand up. What are you doing? Don't listen!
"Get up!"
This time, blissfully unaware of her conscious yelling at her, she got to her feet. "Walk to me."
Again she toed the line. "Now tell me. Where is Harry Potter?""He's-" Alarm bells sounded in her head. Her own voice shrieked at her. Stop! You can't tell him! Just stop!
"He's-" He'll kill Harry! Remember him? Your best friend? Don't speak! "No!" she yelled.
"How about now?"
Hermione screamed. A pain, like a blade ripping through her body, raced through her.
Still, the voice spoke to her. Even if you tell him, do you still think he will allow you to live?
"No!"
"Crucio!"
She snapped out of the floating feeling immediately. Her hands flew to head as the agony wracked through her again. Voldemort's face, if you could call it that, no longer held traces of amusement. Just anger. Pure anger. "You'll have wished you'd given in. Bring the Muggle in."
The Death-Eater who had captured Hermione left the room. When he re-entered, he was dragging a rigid bundle behind him. A body, in a blanket. He ripped the blanket off and threw the body across the floor.
Hermione stared. Her eyes met those of the younger girl lying on the floor, in an obvious Body-Bind. "Chloe…" she whispered. Her small cousin looked back at her. Panic chilled Hermione's heart at the sight of her. How could they? Chloe was just a child, completely unconnected to this world. She knew what was to happen before they told her.
"We thought perhaps this would change your mind…" One of the Death-Eaters came forward and muttered the counter curse to free Chloe of her unseen binds. The child shuddered and sprawled across the floor.
"Now…tell me where Harry Potter lies."
Pulling her gaze from the child, Hermione raised her chin. She looked into the eyes that seemed to be burning into her own and shook her head soundlessly, defiantly.
"Foolish Mudblood. Harry Potter will die by my hand sooner or later. Your stupidity will earn you nothing. When that time comes, you will wish you had provided me with what I need to know. Now, I ask you again. Where is Harry Potter?"
"You're a liar, " replied Hermione, her voice shaking and little more than a whisper.
"You dare to call me your childish names? I was told you had an ounce of intelligence in your head, but apparently not. You have a simple choice. Hurt your family deeply by allowing this child to die…or just utter a few simple words and let her go free."
"You'll never find Harry Potter."
"Is that so?"
"His Secret-Keeper is appointed tomorrow. You can kill me but you'll never find him."
Voldemort stood and took slow steps over to her. His face close to hers, he laughed softly. His breath rattled over her.
"Do you not think it is odd that I took one of the boy's closest friends just before the Fidelius Charm was performed? I took great measures to ensure that when my return was announced, when his 'valiant' protectors joined together once more, one of my own was placed in their midst."
Her heart dropped. Somebody in the Order, someone whom she'd trusted had been passing secrets to Voldemort.
"Again, you have a choice. This," he pointed his wand in Chloe's direction. The girl slammed mercilessly into the wall, crying out. "Or the boy."
Even before she spoke, Hermione knew the words that were going to stain her. She had lived to watch her cousin when she had been blessed with life and she was about to witness her end. Green light flashed and a brutal voice pierced her ear. The eyes of the child became unmoving, silent.
Hermione screamed and shot up, breathing harshly. A steady hand gripped her shoulder. Snape was holding onto her, anchoring her. "I could have waited, kept my mouth shut. You weren't so far away. If I'd just waited…"
"How were you to know? How could you have possibly-"
"I killed her. I could have stopped it from happening, I could have let her live."
His hands on her shoulders, Snape's face came closer. "Listen to me. You did what you had to do. You made a sacrifice. He would have killed her anyway and you even sooner."
"I won't lie to you. What you feel can't be healed by a few well-chosen words or promises of putting it behind you. It can only take time and your own acceptance."
Hermione's face was slightly calmer now and she relaxed into his hold. "Will you help me?"
He let go of her, uncertainness in his expression. They looked at each other for a few moments. Time stood still between them. Severus roused himself. "I will do what I can. For now, I don't suppose you are hungry?"
Hermione let herself smile almost shyly at him. "I could eat something," she admitted.
Snape went to the table in the corner of his bedroom. He took out a tray and said a few words. When he returned to the bed he had with him a mug of hot coffee and a stack of toast.
Trying to put her dream behind her, Hermione choked back a small laugh. Had Professor Snape just brought her breakfast in bed?
Abruptly, the reality of where she was hit her. Struggling from under the sheets, she put her feet on the cold floor and raised herself out of the bed.
"Where are you going?""I'll be late. For class. I-I need to go." A hand grabbed her arm.
"I think that is perfectly excusable, given the current circumstances."
She removed her arm from his touch. "I have to go. Please." Her voice was pleading with him.
He looked concerned but bobbed his head slightly, letting her go.
As an afterthought, she grabbed a piece of toast before rushing out of the room.
That afternoon, she, Ron and Harry strolled out of castle grounds heading towards Hogsmeade. They were now allowed to visit the magical village more regularly than in their previous years.
Hermione had expressed her wishes to stay and study but Harry and Ron had refused to leave her behind and had pulled her away from her books, both of them holding her arms captive. It made her smile. They still wanted her around.
"Anywhere you want to go, Herm? Honeydukes?" asked Ron
"Not really. I'm exhausted. I just want to get a drink or something. And don't call me Herm. It reminds me too much of Grawp."
"Are you okay?" asked Ron frowning. "You've been acting strange all day."
Harry joined in. "Yeah, and where were you last night? We waited for ages but you didn't come back. Erica said you weren't in the dorm last night either."
"I-" she hesitated. " Snape kept me in the dungeons for hours. By the time I got back, all I could do was collapse in the common room. When I woke up this morning, I went straight to the library." She felt a slight twinge of guilt for lying to them.
They seemed to accept that and together, they trooped into The Three Broomsticks. The barmaid, Rosmerta beamed over at them, from behind the counter where a tall, bearded Irishman was obviously trying to get on her right side.
"Do you want to get the drinks, Harry?" said Ron sliding a few coins across the table. "Want one on me, Hermione?"
Hermione was surprised. Since when was Ron so generous? "I guess so."
Harry eyed the two of them for a second. Then catching a look from Ron, he sped over to the bar.
"So…er…Hermione." Ron started. He was not looking at her but at the table, and the tops of his ears were turning red.
Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Ron?"
"I…er..…well…" Ron trailed off awkwardly and started again. "We've been friends for a long time, haven't we?"
Hermione smiled. "I think you and Harry are the best friends I've got."
Ron appeared put off. "Yes…er, Harry. Well, I'm just going to say this…"
On the contrary, he said nothing. Impatiently, Hermione prompted him. "Say what?
Ron took a deep breath. "This." He leaned forward over the table and pressed his lips to hers. Hermione, too shocked to move, was astounded. What did he think was he doing? Whenever had she given him a signal to do that? At last, he moved away from her, grinning. "I really like you, Hermione."
Hermione's motionlessness ceased. Reaching across the table, she gave him a short, sharp slap across the face. His grin disappeared and his hand went to up to rub his stinging face.
"What the hell was that for?" Hermione didn't answer. "I thought that's what you wanted! You've been giving me signals for ages!"
Furiously unaware of her actions, Hermione grabbed a Butterbeer off the tray Harry had begun to hurriedly carry towards them and dumped the contents into Ron's lap.
After throwing a fuming glare at Ron's stunned face she raced out of the door and began to run back to the castle, tears threatening to spill over her lids.
A shadow stepped in front of her, throwing her into coldness. She gasped as she looked up at the figure that had cast it. He spoke and her memory surged with recognition. His red hair flashed in the sun as he leered towards her.
"Thought you'd never see me again, didn't you, pet…?"