The Crosswire guest bedroom was supplied with old furniture. Old, in this
case, meant anything that had been scratched, scuffed, stained, or replaced on
a whim. The room lacked decorations, and the bed was a simple affair with a
king-sized mattress and a spartan wooden frame. It would suit a visitor of
either gender, or, in Dwayne's case, a person who was unhappy with his or her
gender.
The young clone sat on the edge of the bed, still wearing the same brown clothing, staring intently into the dresser mirror that Muffy had once scratched with a nail file in a fit of pique. A boy with short red hair stared back at him. He wished with all his might that the events of the day would prove to be a mere nightmare, that the reflection in the mirror would change into a girl with braids and a dress. At the same time, he knew deep within that it would never happen. He remembered every detail of how he--or rather, Muffy--had selfishly decided to order the creation of a male clone of herself, to serve as a playmate with common interests. He was a freak of science, a being with no purpose but to amuse another. He couldn't blame Muffy for what she had done, as he was possessed of the same self-absorbed cruelty.
As he dolefully regarded his reflection, Muffy bounded gaily into the room, her braids twisting about. "We're going to have so much fun," she gushed. "First we'll visit Arthur, and then Francine, and then Buster..."
Dwayne shook his head. "I don't want them to see me like this," he said miserably. "They'll make fun of me."
"No, they won't," said Muffy with an oblivious smile. "I'll tell them you're my cousin from Crown City."
"They'll figure it out," Dwayne insisted. "I look like you. I talk like you."
"Come on, Dwayne," urged Muffy, pulling on the boy's arm. "You have nothing to worry about."
Dwayne resisted the girl's efforts to draw him away from the bed. "I don't want to do it," he groused. "I don't want to do anything."
"You're no fun," Muffy complained, releasing his hand. "I thought having a boy clone would be fun."
"I'm sorry to disappoint you," said Dwayne haughtily. "Maybe you should get your money back."
"Fine," said Muffy, swiveling on her heel. "You can stay in your room all night if you want, but you'll just have to face them tomorrow at school."
As the frustrated girl marched out of the room, Dwayne pondered what she had told him. Like any child, cloned or otherwise, he would have to attend school, and he might find it easier to deal with the entire class in his new persona if he practiced on a few of his friends, one at a time. Heaving a sigh of resignation, he pushed himself down from the bed.
----
"This is my cousin Dwayne, from Crown City," Muffy announced to Arthur and D.W., who had come to the door to welcome the visiting girl and boy.
"Pleased to make your acquaintance," said Dwayne stuffily as he shook hands with Arthur.
"Are you rich too?" D.W. asked him hopefully.
"Um...uh..." Dwayne stammered.
"Yes, he is," Muffy answered for him. "His father is a successful, uh, steelworker."
Muffy and Dwayne followed Arthur into the living room. D.W., in the meantime, ran to find her mother in front of the computer. "Mom! Mom!" she cried out.
"What is it, dear?" asked Mrs. Read, who was opening a spreadsheet of tax data.
"Muffy has a rich cousin," D.W. related. "And he's a boy."
"That's nice," said her mother with an indifferent smile.
"A rich boy," said D.W. wistfully. "If I marry him, I won't have to learn how to read."
On the couch, Arthur was grilling the new boy with questions. "What kind of stuff do you like to do?" he inquired.
"I like shopping," Dwayne replied. "I like trying on new clothes, and reading fashion magazines."
"You're just like Muffy," Arthur remarked with delight.
"You have no idea," said Muffy, who sat beside the two boys.
"What's your favorite TV show?" was Arthur's next question.
"Princess Peach," Dwayne answered without thinking.
Arthur and Muffy shot him funny looks.
"Oh, you said favorite," said Dwayne nervously. "I thought you said least favorite. My favorite show is, uh, Bionic Bunny, of course."
Arthur's face lit up. "I love Bionic Bunny! What's your favorite episode?"
Dwayne struggled for a response. "Uh...er...what's yours?"
"The one where he fights the Roach Queen, and she lays her eggs in his stomach. But he's okay, because his stomach is bionic. So he just pops it out and puts in another one."
Dwayne grimaced in horror. "Uh, that's my favorite too," he choked out.
"I've got it on tape," Arthur offered. "Wanna watch it with me?"
Dwayne started to sweat rivulets. "Uh, I need to powder my nose," he excused himself. Grabbing Muffy by the hand, he led the girl out of the living room and out the front door as the dumbfounded Arthur watched.
"That was rude," Muffy chided Dwayne as she hurried after the quick-walking boy. "You left without so much as saying goodbye. And boys don't powder their noses."
"I know," was Dwayne's bitter response. "But he wanted me to watch that vomitrocious boy's cartoon."
"What's wrong with that? You're a boy."
"Don't remind me," Dwayne grumbled.
Their next destination was Francine's apartment. "Hi, Muffy," the girl greeted them. "Who's your friend?"
"This is my cousin Dwayne," Muffy answered. "From Crown City."
As Dwayne stepped inside, he saw Nemo curled up against a wall. "Kitty kitty," he called, bending over and stretching his hand toward the kitten. To his surprise, Nemo hissed and lashed out with a paw. "Ow!" exclaimed Dwayne, gazing with annoyance at his scratched finger.
"He doesn't like strangers," Francine pointed out.
"But I'm not a..." Dwayne started to say, but cut himself off.
The three kids took seats. "Tell me about yourself, Dwayne," Francine requested.
"My dad is a rich steelworker," Dwayne began. As he made up facts about his nonexistent family, he noticed that Francine was gazing at him with a dopey grin and glowing eyes.
"I didn't know Muffy had a cousin," the girl remarked. "And you seem like a really nice boy, too. Will you be coming to our school?"
"I guess so," replied Dwayne flatly.
The conversation wore on, and Muffy observed through the corner of her eye that her clone was appearing increasingly uneasy. Finally the boy jumped to his feet and said, "Francine, may I please use your bathroom? I need to, er, ah, pee."
Muffy blushed in horror.
"Go ahead, Dwayne," said Francine in a warm, friendly tone.
Once Dwayne was inside Francine's bathroom, he started to push the door closed, but Muffy forced her way in. Her face was a mask of indignation.
"Pee?" she blurted out. "What an unrefined, ungentlemanly thing to say!"
Dwayne shrugged. "At least I didn't say I needed to powder my nose."
Muffy could only sputter incredulously.
"What was I supposed to say?" Dwayne asked her. "What does a gentleman say when he needs to, you know..."
"I don't know," said Muffy, racking her brain. "I guess you could say you need to see a man about a horse."
"Like anyone would swallow that story," said Dwayne mockingly. "Francine, there's a man in your bathroom with a horse, and I need to talk to him."
While Muffy searched for the right words, Dwayne's expression became serious.
"And there's another thing," he said with a hint of anxiety. "Did you notice how Francine was looking at me?"
"You mean the dopey grin and the glowing eyes?" Muffy replied. "Maybe she thinks you're cute."
Dwayne groaned and put his hands over his face.
"And you are cute," Muffy went on. "You're my clone, after all."
Dropping his hands, Dwayne glowered at Muffy. "Don't you get it?" he snapped. "I'm a boy! What if she develops a crush on me? What if she falls in love with me?"
"Then you'll have a girlfriend," said Muffy, trying to be helpful. "There's nothing wrong with that."
"There's plenty wrong with that," Dwayne protested. "I may be a boy on the outside, but I'm still a girl on the inside."
Muffy's jaw dropped. "Omigosh...you're defective!"
"That's not what I mean," said Dwayne, waving his hands in despair. "What's the use of trying to explain? You'll never understand."
Muffy placed her hands over the distraught boy's shoulders and gazed at him sympathetically. Dwayne's eyelids rose as he expected a kind word to soothe his troubled spirit.
It didn't come. "I don't think Francine's very good-looking either," said Muffy in a half-whisper. "Have you thought about Sue Ellen at all?"
----
to be continued
The young clone sat on the edge of the bed, still wearing the same brown clothing, staring intently into the dresser mirror that Muffy had once scratched with a nail file in a fit of pique. A boy with short red hair stared back at him. He wished with all his might that the events of the day would prove to be a mere nightmare, that the reflection in the mirror would change into a girl with braids and a dress. At the same time, he knew deep within that it would never happen. He remembered every detail of how he--or rather, Muffy--had selfishly decided to order the creation of a male clone of herself, to serve as a playmate with common interests. He was a freak of science, a being with no purpose but to amuse another. He couldn't blame Muffy for what she had done, as he was possessed of the same self-absorbed cruelty.
As he dolefully regarded his reflection, Muffy bounded gaily into the room, her braids twisting about. "We're going to have so much fun," she gushed. "First we'll visit Arthur, and then Francine, and then Buster..."
Dwayne shook his head. "I don't want them to see me like this," he said miserably. "They'll make fun of me."
"No, they won't," said Muffy with an oblivious smile. "I'll tell them you're my cousin from Crown City."
"They'll figure it out," Dwayne insisted. "I look like you. I talk like you."
"Come on, Dwayne," urged Muffy, pulling on the boy's arm. "You have nothing to worry about."
Dwayne resisted the girl's efforts to draw him away from the bed. "I don't want to do it," he groused. "I don't want to do anything."
"You're no fun," Muffy complained, releasing his hand. "I thought having a boy clone would be fun."
"I'm sorry to disappoint you," said Dwayne haughtily. "Maybe you should get your money back."
"Fine," said Muffy, swiveling on her heel. "You can stay in your room all night if you want, but you'll just have to face them tomorrow at school."
As the frustrated girl marched out of the room, Dwayne pondered what she had told him. Like any child, cloned or otherwise, he would have to attend school, and he might find it easier to deal with the entire class in his new persona if he practiced on a few of his friends, one at a time. Heaving a sigh of resignation, he pushed himself down from the bed.
----
"This is my cousin Dwayne, from Crown City," Muffy announced to Arthur and D.W., who had come to the door to welcome the visiting girl and boy.
"Pleased to make your acquaintance," said Dwayne stuffily as he shook hands with Arthur.
"Are you rich too?" D.W. asked him hopefully.
"Um...uh..." Dwayne stammered.
"Yes, he is," Muffy answered for him. "His father is a successful, uh, steelworker."
Muffy and Dwayne followed Arthur into the living room. D.W., in the meantime, ran to find her mother in front of the computer. "Mom! Mom!" she cried out.
"What is it, dear?" asked Mrs. Read, who was opening a spreadsheet of tax data.
"Muffy has a rich cousin," D.W. related. "And he's a boy."
"That's nice," said her mother with an indifferent smile.
"A rich boy," said D.W. wistfully. "If I marry him, I won't have to learn how to read."
On the couch, Arthur was grilling the new boy with questions. "What kind of stuff do you like to do?" he inquired.
"I like shopping," Dwayne replied. "I like trying on new clothes, and reading fashion magazines."
"You're just like Muffy," Arthur remarked with delight.
"You have no idea," said Muffy, who sat beside the two boys.
"What's your favorite TV show?" was Arthur's next question.
"Princess Peach," Dwayne answered without thinking.
Arthur and Muffy shot him funny looks.
"Oh, you said favorite," said Dwayne nervously. "I thought you said least favorite. My favorite show is, uh, Bionic Bunny, of course."
Arthur's face lit up. "I love Bionic Bunny! What's your favorite episode?"
Dwayne struggled for a response. "Uh...er...what's yours?"
"The one where he fights the Roach Queen, and she lays her eggs in his stomach. But he's okay, because his stomach is bionic. So he just pops it out and puts in another one."
Dwayne grimaced in horror. "Uh, that's my favorite too," he choked out.
"I've got it on tape," Arthur offered. "Wanna watch it with me?"
Dwayne started to sweat rivulets. "Uh, I need to powder my nose," he excused himself. Grabbing Muffy by the hand, he led the girl out of the living room and out the front door as the dumbfounded Arthur watched.
"That was rude," Muffy chided Dwayne as she hurried after the quick-walking boy. "You left without so much as saying goodbye. And boys don't powder their noses."
"I know," was Dwayne's bitter response. "But he wanted me to watch that vomitrocious boy's cartoon."
"What's wrong with that? You're a boy."
"Don't remind me," Dwayne grumbled.
Their next destination was Francine's apartment. "Hi, Muffy," the girl greeted them. "Who's your friend?"
"This is my cousin Dwayne," Muffy answered. "From Crown City."
As Dwayne stepped inside, he saw Nemo curled up against a wall. "Kitty kitty," he called, bending over and stretching his hand toward the kitten. To his surprise, Nemo hissed and lashed out with a paw. "Ow!" exclaimed Dwayne, gazing with annoyance at his scratched finger.
"He doesn't like strangers," Francine pointed out.
"But I'm not a..." Dwayne started to say, but cut himself off.
The three kids took seats. "Tell me about yourself, Dwayne," Francine requested.
"My dad is a rich steelworker," Dwayne began. As he made up facts about his nonexistent family, he noticed that Francine was gazing at him with a dopey grin and glowing eyes.
"I didn't know Muffy had a cousin," the girl remarked. "And you seem like a really nice boy, too. Will you be coming to our school?"
"I guess so," replied Dwayne flatly.
The conversation wore on, and Muffy observed through the corner of her eye that her clone was appearing increasingly uneasy. Finally the boy jumped to his feet and said, "Francine, may I please use your bathroom? I need to, er, ah, pee."
Muffy blushed in horror.
"Go ahead, Dwayne," said Francine in a warm, friendly tone.
Once Dwayne was inside Francine's bathroom, he started to push the door closed, but Muffy forced her way in. Her face was a mask of indignation.
"Pee?" she blurted out. "What an unrefined, ungentlemanly thing to say!"
Dwayne shrugged. "At least I didn't say I needed to powder my nose."
Muffy could only sputter incredulously.
"What was I supposed to say?" Dwayne asked her. "What does a gentleman say when he needs to, you know..."
"I don't know," said Muffy, racking her brain. "I guess you could say you need to see a man about a horse."
"Like anyone would swallow that story," said Dwayne mockingly. "Francine, there's a man in your bathroom with a horse, and I need to talk to him."
While Muffy searched for the right words, Dwayne's expression became serious.
"And there's another thing," he said with a hint of anxiety. "Did you notice how Francine was looking at me?"
"You mean the dopey grin and the glowing eyes?" Muffy replied. "Maybe she thinks you're cute."
Dwayne groaned and put his hands over his face.
"And you are cute," Muffy went on. "You're my clone, after all."
Dropping his hands, Dwayne glowered at Muffy. "Don't you get it?" he snapped. "I'm a boy! What if she develops a crush on me? What if she falls in love with me?"
"Then you'll have a girlfriend," said Muffy, trying to be helpful. "There's nothing wrong with that."
"There's plenty wrong with that," Dwayne protested. "I may be a boy on the outside, but I'm still a girl on the inside."
Muffy's jaw dropped. "Omigosh...you're defective!"
"That's not what I mean," said Dwayne, waving his hands in despair. "What's the use of trying to explain? You'll never understand."
Muffy placed her hands over the distraught boy's shoulders and gazed at him sympathetically. Dwayne's eyelids rose as he expected a kind word to soothe his troubled spirit.
It didn't come. "I don't think Francine's very good-looking either," said Muffy in a half-whisper. "Have you thought about Sue Ellen at all?"
----
to be continued