After Muffy had introduced Dwayne to all her friends, the pair went to the mall
in the company of Mrs. Crosswire. Dwayne was hesitant to enter the crowded
Dullard's clothing store, but Muffy reminded him that he needed more than one
set of clothes to be presentable. Shopping with one Muffy was always an
adventure, but shopping with two Muffys, one of which was a boy, proved to be
extremely problematic.
The path to the boys' clothes section wound through the parts of the store featuring dresses, perfumes, and jewelry. They had barely set out when Dwayne cried out with delight, hurried to one of the displays, and picked up a small, shiny object. "Omigosh, what a cute little amethyst brooch!" he exclaimed, holding the pin so that the store lights reflected off the purple stones. "Can I get it, Mom?"
Muffy and Mrs. Crosswire glanced around with expressions of embarrassment.
Dwayne's face fell as he realized his error. "Oh, right," he said quietly, replacing the brooch in its case. "I'm a boy now."
Shortly thereafter, Muffy stopped at a dress rack to examine a turquoise Chanel that had attracted her fancy. When she and her mother had browsed halfway around the rack in search of the right dress size, they found to their horror that Dwayne had pulled off one of the dresses and was holding it up to his chest.
"What are you doing?" said Muffy in an outraged half-whisper.
"I just wanted to be helpful," replied Dwayne with a wistful smile. "If the dress fits me, it fits you, because I'm your clone."
"Give me that," snapped Muffy, grabbing the dress from Dwayne's hands. She then lifted the article of clothing to her own bosom, grinned with satisfaction, and laid it over her arm.
By the time they reached the boys' clothes department, the glum-faced Dwayne had lost most of his urge to shop. "So what'll it be?" Muffy asked him as she thumbed through a pile of gray slacks.
"Uh, I don't care," said Dwayne, shrugging.
"Look over here." Muffy stepped over to one of the clothing displays. "Khaki jeans are on sale."
"You can't be serious," Dwayne protested. "Khakis are so last year."
"I thought you didn't care," said Muffy.
"I don't," said Dwayne, snatching a pair of jeans from the stack.
He felt odd and unnatural as he walked through the mall corridor with a bag full of boy clothes dangling from his fingers. Mrs. Crosswire, seeing his morose expression, suggested, "Maybe the toy store will lighten your mood."
"It just might," Dwayne muttered.
While Muffy's mother held the bags of clothing, the two kids began to wander about the aisles of the Toy With Us store. Dwayne found little that interested him and was intended for boys, but Muffy was drawn to a porcelain doll with a polka-dot dress that stood on a wall shelf.
"It's gorgeous," she gushed, turning the doll around in her hands. "All my other porcelain dolls are now obsolete."
"Can I hold it?" Dwayne requested.
Muffy pulled the doll away from him. "I don't think so."
"Please," Dwayne pleaded earnestly. "Just for a second."
Touched by the boy's pitiful tone of voice, Muffy gave in. "All right, but don't get used to it."
She carefully placed the doll in Dwayne's hands, and he started to run his fingers through the toy's smooth blond hair. As Muffy was about to yank it away from him, she noticed the presence of someone familiar in another corner of the store.
"Look!" she exclaimed, pointing.
Dwayne, still clutching the porcelain doll, turned his head. "It's Rattles," he observed.
The tough boy Rattles, his attention absorbed by an electric train that was passing through a plastic tunnel, straightened up and looked over his shoulder when he heard a voice speak his name. "What are you staring at?" he said with a menacing sneer.
"I didn't know you liked trains," Muffy replied innocently.
"I didn't know you liked sissies," Rattles rejoined, turning his gaze to Dwayne. Muffy, realizing in horror that her clone was still fondling the porcelain doll, quickly plucked it from his hands and laid it on the shelf.
"He was holding it for me," she tried to explain.
"Is he one of your servants?" said Rattles mockingly as he stepped closer to the pair. "Are you so lazy that you hire people to play with your toys?"
"I am NOT lazy," retorted the indignant Muffy. "I work very hard."
"Yeah, at being a dork," said Rattles.
Muffy let out a gasp of outrage. "How rude!" she chided the boy. "You take that back this instant!"
"And what if I don't?" growled Rattles, flexing his substantial biceps.
After a moment of thought, Muffy laid a hand on Dwayne's back and pushed him forward. "Then my cousin Dwayne will beat you up," she threatened.
Struck speechless, Dwayne gaped at the towering bully in front of him. "Let's see what you got, kid," said Rattles as he raised a left fist, then a right.
Certain that Muffy had betrayed him to his death, Dwayne could only stand stock still, paralyzed with fear. Rattles waved his fists about, waiting impatiently for the boy to launch a first strike.
Then Muffy saw, resting on a nearby shelf, some articles that might assist Dwayne in his battle--a pair of oversized, green, foam-rubber fists. She pulled them down and handed them to her clone, saying, "Wear these. They'll make you stronger."
As Rattles watched incredulously, Dwayne stuck his hands into the openings in the green fists and shook them at the bully. "Grrr," the monkey boy intoned unconvincingly. "Puny human make Sulk angry. Sulk smash puny human."
Amused by Dwayne's pathetic posturing, Rattles decided upon a different torment. He screamed in terror and pointed into the air, prompting Dwayne and Muffy to turn around in hopes of seeing what had frightened him. Once their backs were to him, Rattles stuck his fingers into the back of Dwayne's pants, seized the rim of the boy's briefs, and pulled upward with all his might.
"AAAAAARRRRGH!"
The blinding discomfort and embarrassment were unlike anything Dwayne, or Muffy, had ever experienced. Rattles stood gloating while his hapless victim blushed and gasped for air. When the bully saw Mrs. Crosswire walking toward the back of the store, apparently responding to the scream, he made a hasty departure.
Muffy seemed to care nothing about Dwayne's agony. "And you call yourself a boy," she scolded him. "That big lout called me a dork, and you stood there and did nothing. Don't you know that a boy is responsible for defending a girl's honor?"
Dwayne, his groin bruised and sore, could take no more of Muffy's insensitivity to his plight. Anger poured into his heart, but it wasn't the kind of anger he was accustomed to. It was boy anger--raging, destructive, irresistible boy anger. He was no longer in control.
In full view of Mrs. Crosswire, he drew back a fist and let it fly at Muffy's nose. The impact was felt by all the toy store patrons.
Thrown backwards by the punch, Muffy struck the shelf where she had laid the porcelain doll, knocking it against the wall and onto the floor with her flailing arm. It broke into a hundred fragments upon landing. To add injury to injury, Muffy, her balance lost, fell onto her rear in the exact spot where the most jagged pieces of the shattered doll had come to rest.
"OOOOWWW! My butt!"
Muffy burst into tears as her mother raised her up with one hand and used the other to pluck out the chunks of porcelain lodged in her posterior. Still furious, Dwayne only glowered at the miserable girl. "You wanted me to act like a boy," he said bitterly. "How do you like it?"
----
to be continued
The path to the boys' clothes section wound through the parts of the store featuring dresses, perfumes, and jewelry. They had barely set out when Dwayne cried out with delight, hurried to one of the displays, and picked up a small, shiny object. "Omigosh, what a cute little amethyst brooch!" he exclaimed, holding the pin so that the store lights reflected off the purple stones. "Can I get it, Mom?"
Muffy and Mrs. Crosswire glanced around with expressions of embarrassment.
Dwayne's face fell as he realized his error. "Oh, right," he said quietly, replacing the brooch in its case. "I'm a boy now."
Shortly thereafter, Muffy stopped at a dress rack to examine a turquoise Chanel that had attracted her fancy. When she and her mother had browsed halfway around the rack in search of the right dress size, they found to their horror that Dwayne had pulled off one of the dresses and was holding it up to his chest.
"What are you doing?" said Muffy in an outraged half-whisper.
"I just wanted to be helpful," replied Dwayne with a wistful smile. "If the dress fits me, it fits you, because I'm your clone."
"Give me that," snapped Muffy, grabbing the dress from Dwayne's hands. She then lifted the article of clothing to her own bosom, grinned with satisfaction, and laid it over her arm.
By the time they reached the boys' clothes department, the glum-faced Dwayne had lost most of his urge to shop. "So what'll it be?" Muffy asked him as she thumbed through a pile of gray slacks.
"Uh, I don't care," said Dwayne, shrugging.
"Look over here." Muffy stepped over to one of the clothing displays. "Khaki jeans are on sale."
"You can't be serious," Dwayne protested. "Khakis are so last year."
"I thought you didn't care," said Muffy.
"I don't," said Dwayne, snatching a pair of jeans from the stack.
He felt odd and unnatural as he walked through the mall corridor with a bag full of boy clothes dangling from his fingers. Mrs. Crosswire, seeing his morose expression, suggested, "Maybe the toy store will lighten your mood."
"It just might," Dwayne muttered.
While Muffy's mother held the bags of clothing, the two kids began to wander about the aisles of the Toy With Us store. Dwayne found little that interested him and was intended for boys, but Muffy was drawn to a porcelain doll with a polka-dot dress that stood on a wall shelf.
"It's gorgeous," she gushed, turning the doll around in her hands. "All my other porcelain dolls are now obsolete."
"Can I hold it?" Dwayne requested.
Muffy pulled the doll away from him. "I don't think so."
"Please," Dwayne pleaded earnestly. "Just for a second."
Touched by the boy's pitiful tone of voice, Muffy gave in. "All right, but don't get used to it."
She carefully placed the doll in Dwayne's hands, and he started to run his fingers through the toy's smooth blond hair. As Muffy was about to yank it away from him, she noticed the presence of someone familiar in another corner of the store.
"Look!" she exclaimed, pointing.
Dwayne, still clutching the porcelain doll, turned his head. "It's Rattles," he observed.
The tough boy Rattles, his attention absorbed by an electric train that was passing through a plastic tunnel, straightened up and looked over his shoulder when he heard a voice speak his name. "What are you staring at?" he said with a menacing sneer.
"I didn't know you liked trains," Muffy replied innocently.
"I didn't know you liked sissies," Rattles rejoined, turning his gaze to Dwayne. Muffy, realizing in horror that her clone was still fondling the porcelain doll, quickly plucked it from his hands and laid it on the shelf.
"He was holding it for me," she tried to explain.
"Is he one of your servants?" said Rattles mockingly as he stepped closer to the pair. "Are you so lazy that you hire people to play with your toys?"
"I am NOT lazy," retorted the indignant Muffy. "I work very hard."
"Yeah, at being a dork," said Rattles.
Muffy let out a gasp of outrage. "How rude!" she chided the boy. "You take that back this instant!"
"And what if I don't?" growled Rattles, flexing his substantial biceps.
After a moment of thought, Muffy laid a hand on Dwayne's back and pushed him forward. "Then my cousin Dwayne will beat you up," she threatened.
Struck speechless, Dwayne gaped at the towering bully in front of him. "Let's see what you got, kid," said Rattles as he raised a left fist, then a right.
Certain that Muffy had betrayed him to his death, Dwayne could only stand stock still, paralyzed with fear. Rattles waved his fists about, waiting impatiently for the boy to launch a first strike.
Then Muffy saw, resting on a nearby shelf, some articles that might assist Dwayne in his battle--a pair of oversized, green, foam-rubber fists. She pulled them down and handed them to her clone, saying, "Wear these. They'll make you stronger."
As Rattles watched incredulously, Dwayne stuck his hands into the openings in the green fists and shook them at the bully. "Grrr," the monkey boy intoned unconvincingly. "Puny human make Sulk angry. Sulk smash puny human."
Amused by Dwayne's pathetic posturing, Rattles decided upon a different torment. He screamed in terror and pointed into the air, prompting Dwayne and Muffy to turn around in hopes of seeing what had frightened him. Once their backs were to him, Rattles stuck his fingers into the back of Dwayne's pants, seized the rim of the boy's briefs, and pulled upward with all his might.
"AAAAAARRRRGH!"
The blinding discomfort and embarrassment were unlike anything Dwayne, or Muffy, had ever experienced. Rattles stood gloating while his hapless victim blushed and gasped for air. When the bully saw Mrs. Crosswire walking toward the back of the store, apparently responding to the scream, he made a hasty departure.
Muffy seemed to care nothing about Dwayne's agony. "And you call yourself a boy," she scolded him. "That big lout called me a dork, and you stood there and did nothing. Don't you know that a boy is responsible for defending a girl's honor?"
Dwayne, his groin bruised and sore, could take no more of Muffy's insensitivity to his plight. Anger poured into his heart, but it wasn't the kind of anger he was accustomed to. It was boy anger--raging, destructive, irresistible boy anger. He was no longer in control.
In full view of Mrs. Crosswire, he drew back a fist and let it fly at Muffy's nose. The impact was felt by all the toy store patrons.
Thrown backwards by the punch, Muffy struck the shelf where she had laid the porcelain doll, knocking it against the wall and onto the floor with her flailing arm. It broke into a hundred fragments upon landing. To add injury to injury, Muffy, her balance lost, fell onto her rear in the exact spot where the most jagged pieces of the shattered doll had come to rest.
"OOOOWWW! My butt!"
Muffy burst into tears as her mother raised her up with one hand and used the other to pluck out the chunks of porcelain lodged in her posterior. Still furious, Dwayne only glowered at the miserable girl. "You wanted me to act like a boy," he said bitterly. "How do you like it?"
----
to be continued