Finally, another chappie up!!
To my reviewers:
Blue Loon Lagoon: heh, yeah, Yami no Bakura's not picky about what he eats.
Comes from bein' a tomb robber, I suppose; you spend that long around dead
stuff and you get that hungry, nothin' makes ya queasy. And I get the
feeling that the Duel Monsters just have really sensitive digestive
systems.^-^
Sailor Comet: Thankees! And if you squint at it just right, there *are* a
few tiny little hints of Honda/Ryou in here, but I'm not gonna go into it:
even the Kaiba/Jounouchi references are just there for the gag value (i.e.
everyone in Domino knows how Jounouchi feels about Kaiba.except Kaiba! ^-
^). If you want a really good Honda/Ryou fic, go to Kyokou Geemu forums
and find Fran's "Untitled Honda and Bakura" in the fanfic section. It's
loads of adorable WAFF.^-^
TobyKikami: Did I forget to mention that I became a Ryuuzaki fan because of
you? It's the corrupting influence of WTDAEP and Crisis of Faith, I tell
ya. Not that I mind. ^-^ And yeah, poor dinos and dragons. They get no
love. Honestly, using the BEWD like it was a garbage disposal! Not to
mention Serpent Night Dragon. The "bat" thing is a running joke at KG:
know how Ryou can never get rid of the Ring no matter how hard he tries?
Well, since YnB is "Bat-Head" (the hair), the bat came back the very next
day. ^-^
= = = = = =
PART FOUR
= = = = = =
"-as is your ownership of the Sennen Puzzle!"
Yuugi felt his back press against the wall as Yami no Bakura advanced on him. The tomb robber's eyes were fixed hungrily on the Sennen Puzzle. Yuugi chanced a glance past the thief, to where Honda and Jounouchi, both dazed and semi-conscious, were struggling to their feet. Anzu was sprinting across the room with her handbag in the attack position, but she was still too far away: the thief could snatch his Puzzle and bolt long before she reached them. Yuugi closed his eyes and cried out to his other half in his mind.
"Gnnn--RAAAAAAAGH!! Ryou, you imbecile, what do you think you're do- NAAARRRGH!!!!"
Yuugi opened one eye and peeked at Yami no Bakura, who was snarling and clutching his skull like he'd been struck upside the head. Then he felt the power of the Puzzle envelope him, and with a sigh of relief he relinquished control to his other half.
Yami no Bakura recovered himself and looked up just in time to see Yuugi's features sharpen and a wily grin spread across the boy's face.
"What's Ryou doing? Buying me time, of course." Yami no Yuugi shut his eyes as energies surrounded him, then directed his hands towards Yami no Bakura, who to his horror found himself also glowing.
"Wha-what the Hell are you-?"
"Just appropriating a few of your powers, O King of Thieves," Yami no Yuugi sneered, before unleashing the full force of the magic spell he'd gathered around him. With a scream, Yami no Bakura fell to his knees, his features softening as he once more became Ryou Bakura. Yami no Yuugi sighed with relief and vanished into the Puzzle as Anzu skidded to a halt next to him, her eyes wide.
"Are you alright, Yuugi? Bakura? That psycho, he didn't hurt you, did he?"
Yuugi, also back to himself again, patted Anzu's shoulder reassuringly before looking over at Bakura. Honda was hauling Jounouchi to his feet, but as soon as he knew his blond friend was alright, he went over and helped Bakura up as well. The white-haired boy looked shaken and rather ill.
"Uhh-goodness, I feel terrible. Yuugi, what did, um, your other half do to him just now?"
Yuugi had a brief mental exchange with Yami no Yuugi, then smiled. "He says he stole some of the Sennen Ring's power and used it to seal your other half inside there, like he did to us in our cards. I guess that's poetic justice."
"Ow, my head," Jounouchi moaned, rubbing the lump at the base of his skull. "Bakura, if I ever find a way to get at that creep that doesn't involve hurting you, rest assured that I'll beat the living shit out of him!"
Bakura blinked for a moment, then flinched. "Er-is it permanent?"
"No," Yuugi told him, "mou hitori no boku says it's only a short-term solution, since the spell won't last more than a few days."
"Ah, alright. I guess because, um, well-"
"What's the matter, Bakura?" Anzu asked him, concerned.
"Ah, well, he seems rather unhappy about this turn of affairs, and he's telling me so in no uncertain terms. He can still contact me, even though he's lost his powers. I wish he wouldn't." Bakura shuddered again. "He's using absolutely dreadful language."
"Oh, yeah? What's he saying?" Jounouchi asked with interest, until Anzu bopped him on the arm.
"You're not helping, Jounouchi! Listen, if this is temporary, we need to use the time mou hitori no Yuugi bought us to get rid of the Ring."
"Maybe we should try feeding it to Exodia." Honda mused as he dusted Bakura and himself off.
Jounouchi was about to make fun of his friend for forgetting that Exodia was currently somewhere on the floor of the Pacific Ocean, when his stomach rumbled loudly. Everyone turned and stared at him.
"Geez, Jounouchi, that sounded like a Gargoyle with PMS!" Honda snickered. Jounouchi turned bright red with embarrassment; fortunately, Yuugi took pity on him.
"We all missed lunch today, didn't we, guys? Come on, we'll be able to think better on full stomachs."
"I could try getting us a discount at Burger World," Anzu offered as the teenagers left the Kaiba Land arena.
"Or maybe we could just feed the Ring to Jounouchi," Honda stage- whispered to her. "That'd solve all our problems right there!"
= = = = = = = =
Bakura didn't say much on the way to the restaurant, because he was busy with his own mental conversation. He'd been putting it mildly when he'd said his dark half had been using "dreadful" language: ear-scorching, brain-burning, soul-destroying language was more like it. A quarter of the words his Yami was using he didn't understand, another quarter he only had a very general idea of what they meant, and the remaining half he *wished* he couldn't understand.
As the teenagers carried on walking, Yami no Bakura alternated between trying to cajole Ryou into letting him out, cursing both Ryou and Yami no Yuugi for the offspring of particularly unattractive camels (among other things), and ranting about what he was going to do when he got his paws on the remaining Sennen Items. Try what he would, Ryou found he couldn't get the normally close-mouthed tomb robber to shut up.
\...Cut off his nuts and use them for juggling balls, I swear.by the eyes of my ancestor Apo, who does he think he is?!! And *you*, you milk- faced, whining little fucking traitor, trying to go behind my back like that.you're unworthy to be my host!!\
Ryou, knowing that for the moment he was free from Yami no Bakura's power, responded with unusual mental snarkyness. /Well, under other circumstances, I'd say go find someone else, but right now I think we've found a more effective solution to your problem, koe./
\Oh, I *know* what you mean, you little skank! Cursed be the eyes and ears of she that bore you, lying fork-tongued passive-aggressive little- \
/Lying?? *Fork-tongued*??? Look who's talking!!/
\Oooh, if I weren't stuck here, I'd inflict pain such as your tiny little mind cannot even imagine.!!\
Ryou finally managed to shut out most of his dark side's maniacal tirade as they reached a small patio restaurant. Jounouchi's stomach- rumbling had reached a crescendo by now, so Anzu opted to forget the employee discount and eat here instead, lest the blond fall over and die of starvation. Yuugi was disappointed because the place didn't sell burgers, but they did have excellent stir-fry, so in no time everyone was chowing down furiously.with the exception of Bakura, who just picked absently at his food with a sigh.
Just as Yuugi was offering Anzu and Honda the rest of his oversized plate, a storm of giggling caught their attention. Across the patio, a half-dozen schoolgirls were hovering around one particular table like a bunch of nervous sparrows, apparently waiting for the table's occupant to finish autographing one of their number's shirt. Yuugi blinked and did a double-take as he recognized the harried-looking gaijin who was the cause of all the activity.
"That can't be.Bandit Keith?"
The American duellist looked up with surprise written on his features, but his response was drowned out by the squealing girls. Finally Keith's fan club left him alone, and the older man glowered darkly at the group of teenagers gaping wide-eyed at him.
"Well, what are you staring at, huh?"
Yuugi quickly averted his eyes and muttered something apologetic, but Jounouchi, full of food and in a better fighting spirit, glowered right back.
"Nothing much, apparently. What're you doing here?"
"What's it look like?" Keith stopped looking put-upon and grinned suddenly. "I can't go anywhere without getting mobbed by chicks. Is it just me, or are Japanese girls a little obsessive?"
Jounouchi had to be restrained from spitting stir-fry at Keith, and Honda only barely managed to keep Anzu from using her Handbag o' Doom on the American's skull. Keith, apparently deciding that he'd made the Yuugi- tachi mad enough for the moment, stopped a waitress and ordered a large pizza for himself, then put his shades back on and settled in his chair to wait.
Anzu was still shaking with rage. "Obsessive, huh? I'll give that lousy gaijin *obsessive*!"
Jounouchi carried on scowling at his former opponent as Ryou watched Keith munching away at an appetizer. The white-haired boy clicked his tongue mentally at his dark half.
/His table manners are atrocious! Almost as bad as yours, in fact./
\You don't know about bad table manners until you've seen someone eating live dung beetles.\
Ryou blanched. /Ugh! That's revolting!/
\No, my host,\ Yami no Bakura responded snidely, \that's the life of a tomb robber. You eat what you can, when you can, niceties and taste be damned.\
/It doesn't sound like fun./
\Did I ever say it was?\
There was an uncomfortable mental silence between the two of them, and it occurred to Ryou that this was probably the longest conversation they'd had since his possession of the Ring without being interrupted by Yami no Bakura trying to murder his friends or steal something. He mentioned this mentally to Yami no Bakura, who snorted uncomfortably.
\Blech, mush. Don't you dare go sentimental on me, you puling weakling: the only reason I haven't done anything is because that %$#@ Pharaoh sealed me in here.\
/I know./
\Hmph,\ Yami no Bakura groused, and changed the subject. \I think that Bandit Keith person over there must have been a tomb robber himself in a past life, the way he eats.\
Ryou watched the American stuff an entire roll into his mouth with distaste. Jounouchi, he noticed, had stopped scowling, and was looking at Keith almost - was it? - thoughtfully. After a moment or two further of blatant staring, the blond's eyes lit up and he grabbed Yuugi by the jacket collar, pulling him close.
"Hey, Yuugi, I just had an idea-!"
As Jounouchi whispered in his friend's ear, Ryou was distracted by Yami no Bakura's muttering.
\Bandit Keith-hah! If I ever face him, I'll show him who's got the right to call himself a bandit! Me, Bakura, King of Thieves, upstaged by some usurper in idiotic headgear - what the-?\
Ryou suddenly felt his dark half's presence diminish as Yuugi swiped the Ring from around his friend's neck. Holding a finger to his lips, the shorter boy beckoned Jounouchi, and the two of them crawled under the table and towards the kitchen door of the restaurant, taking care not to be seen by Bandit Keith. A befuddled Ryou stared after them as Yami no Bakura's voice grew faint.
\Hey!! What are they doing?!\
/I honestly have no idea-/
\Some host *you* are! Get me out of he-!\
Ryou was cut off. To his dismay, he felt almost distressed at the sudden absence of the tomb robber. *Am I going insane? I should be *glad* to get rid of him, whatever Jounouchi and Yuugi have got planned!*
Moments later, Jounouchi and Yuugi snuck back to the table and made themselves comfortable, Yuugi snickering and Jounouchi trying not to smirk and failing. Honda eyed them both suspiciously.
"So what did you two do with the Sennen Ring?"
"You'll see," was all Yuugi managed before bursting into a fit of giggles.
After another few minutes of awkward silence, a waitress returned bearing Keith's pizza. Jounouchi nudged Bakura and pointed as the American duellist opted to forgo utensils entirely and simply picked up the pizza by its edges. He opened his mouth and chomped down with vigour.
"OOWWWWWWWWCH!!! Motherfucking bastard sonofa-!!"
Jounouchi collapsed laughing on the table and Yuugi fell off his seat. Bakura exchanged a horrified look with Honda, and Anzu spat out her drink all over the tablecloth.
"You didn't!" Bakura gasped, staring at Jounouchi and Yuugi.
"We did - oh, boy, did we ever!"
Ryou blinked. *Did it work, then?*
\NO, you insufferable moron, I'm still here! The Ring's undamaged.\
/Oh./
Ryou informed his friends of this, which didn't seem to diminish their mirth. However, they soon had another problem on their hands.
Keith looked up at the helplessly laughing Yuugi, Jounouchi, and Anzu, and his eyes narrowed. Clutching his jaw, the burly American left his table and stomped up to them, looming over the Yuugi-tachi with venom in his gaze.
"YOU!" He hissed, focusing on Jounouchi.
"Y-yeah?" The blond managed to sputter.
"You did this, didn't you, you punk? You put this piece of shit in my pizza!!" To illustrate, Keith held up a cheese-and-tomato-covered, steaming Sennen Ring.
Ryou blushed and held out his hands. "Um, actually, Mr. Howard, it's my Ring."
\Piece of shit??!!\ Yami no Bakura raged in his lighter half's head. \Who's *he* calling a piece of shit?! How would he like it if I came over and called his apartment a dung heap, hmm?\
/Oh, hush up!/ Ryou snapped nervously at the tomb robber, as Keith's glare darkened. The American seemed to sense that Jounouchi, not Bakura, was behind his unwanted pizza topping, because he rounded on the blond once more.
"Listen, Jounouchi, you little prick, I could have broken my jaw on that thing! And unless your rich boyfriend feels like paying for my fillings to be replaced-!"
"Hey, I don't have a boyfriend!" Jounouchi protested, bemused. Then, "Hey, if you're implying that Yuugi and I are - "
"No, you jackass, I mean your boyfriend the whack job who's obsessed with Blue Eyes dragons!"
Jounouchi turned bright red as Honda hid a smile. "Seto Kaiba?!! He's *not* my boyfriend!!"
"Yeah, and I'm not from New York." Keith poked experimentally at his teeth, then frowned down at the teenagers. "You're just lucky there's no permanent damage, or there would have been Hell to pay from you brats!"
With that, Keith stomped out of the patio and down the street in a huff, leaving behind the pizza, the Ring, and a very flustered waitress. Anzu looked after him for a moment, then called out with a wicked smile on her lips, "Hey, Howard-san!! Aren't you going to sue us, then?!"
The parting gesture Keith made at Anzu needed no translation from English to Japanese, but the teenagers were laughing too hard to notice.
Ryou watched as Jounouchi and Honda picked the cheese and tomato off the Ring and ate it. /Have you ever tried cheese, koe?/
\No.\ Why did Yami no Bakura sound so sulky? Was it because he couldn't get out of the Ring and murder people - or perhaps - it was because he felt betrayed by his host? Ryou relayed the question, and the tomb robber made a rude noise in response.
\As if! Betrayed? By *you*?! I don't need you any more than an ibis needs a three-wheeled chariot!\
"Bakura, eat some food already!" Honda admonished the boy, snapping him out of his reverie. "I know we didn't succeed in getting rid of that thing, but that's no reason to starve yourself to death."
\Indeed, that lout Captain has a point.\ Yami no Bakura remarked before breaking contact with Ryou, who blinked, then obediently tucked in to his dinner. Yuugi had meanwhile changed the subject to lighter matters, after congratulating Anzu on her "zinger" to Keith.
"Hey, guys, it's our class's turn to clean out the basement tomorrow."
"Oh, yuck!" Anzu made a face. "That place is all full of spiders and stuff! Disgusting!"
"Aw, Anzu's scared of the creepy-crawlies crawling up her skirt!" Jounouchi snickered and ducked before Anzu could deliver one of her famed right hooks. When he judged it was safe, he sat back up straight. "Shot *not* doing the furnace room."
"That place is the worst," Honda agreed. "Bakura, you want to stay away from that room: not only is it smelly and full of bugs I don't even know the names for, but the lock on the furnace door is broken. If you're not careful or really huge, the seniors will come down sometimes and see who's on furnace duty, and then they'll pitch your stuff into the furnace itself!"
Bakura blinked. "High temperatures?"
Honda nodded. "Very. You know Hanasaki? He brought in a bowie knife one time for a project in shop class, and these two older kids got it and pitched it in there and it completely melted; they probably would have done the same to Hanasaki if Yuugi and Jounouchi hadn't caught them and beaten them up."
Yuugi blushed. "Well, actually Jounouchi was the one who fought them: I just tried to get Hanasaki out of there." Jounouchi preened until Anzu brought him down to earth sharply.
"Yeah, but the only reason Jounouchi knows about the furnace room so well was because *he* used to be the one who'd throw the little kids' things in the fire." Jounouchi grumbled under his breath about Anzu learning to keep her mouth shut, but an idea was already forming in Bakura's head.
\You wouldn't.\
/You said you didn't need me any more than an ibis needs a three- wheeled chariot, didn't you?/ Without waiting for an answer, Bakura shut the link between his dark side and himself, and turned to his friends, who stared at him.
"If you guys are okay with that, can Yuugi and I do furnace room duty?"
= = = = = = = = =
= = = = = =
PART FOUR
= = = = = =
"-as is your ownership of the Sennen Puzzle!"
Yuugi felt his back press against the wall as Yami no Bakura advanced on him. The tomb robber's eyes were fixed hungrily on the Sennen Puzzle. Yuugi chanced a glance past the thief, to where Honda and Jounouchi, both dazed and semi-conscious, were struggling to their feet. Anzu was sprinting across the room with her handbag in the attack position, but she was still too far away: the thief could snatch his Puzzle and bolt long before she reached them. Yuugi closed his eyes and cried out to his other half in his mind.
"Gnnn--RAAAAAAAGH!! Ryou, you imbecile, what do you think you're do- NAAARRRGH!!!!"
Yuugi opened one eye and peeked at Yami no Bakura, who was snarling and clutching his skull like he'd been struck upside the head. Then he felt the power of the Puzzle envelope him, and with a sigh of relief he relinquished control to his other half.
Yami no Bakura recovered himself and looked up just in time to see Yuugi's features sharpen and a wily grin spread across the boy's face.
"What's Ryou doing? Buying me time, of course." Yami no Yuugi shut his eyes as energies surrounded him, then directed his hands towards Yami no Bakura, who to his horror found himself also glowing.
"Wha-what the Hell are you-?"
"Just appropriating a few of your powers, O King of Thieves," Yami no Yuugi sneered, before unleashing the full force of the magic spell he'd gathered around him. With a scream, Yami no Bakura fell to his knees, his features softening as he once more became Ryou Bakura. Yami no Yuugi sighed with relief and vanished into the Puzzle as Anzu skidded to a halt next to him, her eyes wide.
"Are you alright, Yuugi? Bakura? That psycho, he didn't hurt you, did he?"
Yuugi, also back to himself again, patted Anzu's shoulder reassuringly before looking over at Bakura. Honda was hauling Jounouchi to his feet, but as soon as he knew his blond friend was alright, he went over and helped Bakura up as well. The white-haired boy looked shaken and rather ill.
"Uhh-goodness, I feel terrible. Yuugi, what did, um, your other half do to him just now?"
Yuugi had a brief mental exchange with Yami no Yuugi, then smiled. "He says he stole some of the Sennen Ring's power and used it to seal your other half inside there, like he did to us in our cards. I guess that's poetic justice."
"Ow, my head," Jounouchi moaned, rubbing the lump at the base of his skull. "Bakura, if I ever find a way to get at that creep that doesn't involve hurting you, rest assured that I'll beat the living shit out of him!"
Bakura blinked for a moment, then flinched. "Er-is it permanent?"
"No," Yuugi told him, "mou hitori no boku says it's only a short-term solution, since the spell won't last more than a few days."
"Ah, alright. I guess because, um, well-"
"What's the matter, Bakura?" Anzu asked him, concerned.
"Ah, well, he seems rather unhappy about this turn of affairs, and he's telling me so in no uncertain terms. He can still contact me, even though he's lost his powers. I wish he wouldn't." Bakura shuddered again. "He's using absolutely dreadful language."
"Oh, yeah? What's he saying?" Jounouchi asked with interest, until Anzu bopped him on the arm.
"You're not helping, Jounouchi! Listen, if this is temporary, we need to use the time mou hitori no Yuugi bought us to get rid of the Ring."
"Maybe we should try feeding it to Exodia." Honda mused as he dusted Bakura and himself off.
Jounouchi was about to make fun of his friend for forgetting that Exodia was currently somewhere on the floor of the Pacific Ocean, when his stomach rumbled loudly. Everyone turned and stared at him.
"Geez, Jounouchi, that sounded like a Gargoyle with PMS!" Honda snickered. Jounouchi turned bright red with embarrassment; fortunately, Yuugi took pity on him.
"We all missed lunch today, didn't we, guys? Come on, we'll be able to think better on full stomachs."
"I could try getting us a discount at Burger World," Anzu offered as the teenagers left the Kaiba Land arena.
"Or maybe we could just feed the Ring to Jounouchi," Honda stage- whispered to her. "That'd solve all our problems right there!"
= = = = = = = =
Bakura didn't say much on the way to the restaurant, because he was busy with his own mental conversation. He'd been putting it mildly when he'd said his dark half had been using "dreadful" language: ear-scorching, brain-burning, soul-destroying language was more like it. A quarter of the words his Yami was using he didn't understand, another quarter he only had a very general idea of what they meant, and the remaining half he *wished* he couldn't understand.
As the teenagers carried on walking, Yami no Bakura alternated between trying to cajole Ryou into letting him out, cursing both Ryou and Yami no Yuugi for the offspring of particularly unattractive camels (among other things), and ranting about what he was going to do when he got his paws on the remaining Sennen Items. Try what he would, Ryou found he couldn't get the normally close-mouthed tomb robber to shut up.
\...Cut off his nuts and use them for juggling balls, I swear.by the eyes of my ancestor Apo, who does he think he is?!! And *you*, you milk- faced, whining little fucking traitor, trying to go behind my back like that.you're unworthy to be my host!!\
Ryou, knowing that for the moment he was free from Yami no Bakura's power, responded with unusual mental snarkyness. /Well, under other circumstances, I'd say go find someone else, but right now I think we've found a more effective solution to your problem, koe./
\Oh, I *know* what you mean, you little skank! Cursed be the eyes and ears of she that bore you, lying fork-tongued passive-aggressive little- \
/Lying?? *Fork-tongued*??? Look who's talking!!/
\Oooh, if I weren't stuck here, I'd inflict pain such as your tiny little mind cannot even imagine.!!\
Ryou finally managed to shut out most of his dark side's maniacal tirade as they reached a small patio restaurant. Jounouchi's stomach- rumbling had reached a crescendo by now, so Anzu opted to forget the employee discount and eat here instead, lest the blond fall over and die of starvation. Yuugi was disappointed because the place didn't sell burgers, but they did have excellent stir-fry, so in no time everyone was chowing down furiously.with the exception of Bakura, who just picked absently at his food with a sigh.
Just as Yuugi was offering Anzu and Honda the rest of his oversized plate, a storm of giggling caught their attention. Across the patio, a half-dozen schoolgirls were hovering around one particular table like a bunch of nervous sparrows, apparently waiting for the table's occupant to finish autographing one of their number's shirt. Yuugi blinked and did a double-take as he recognized the harried-looking gaijin who was the cause of all the activity.
"That can't be.Bandit Keith?"
The American duellist looked up with surprise written on his features, but his response was drowned out by the squealing girls. Finally Keith's fan club left him alone, and the older man glowered darkly at the group of teenagers gaping wide-eyed at him.
"Well, what are you staring at, huh?"
Yuugi quickly averted his eyes and muttered something apologetic, but Jounouchi, full of food and in a better fighting spirit, glowered right back.
"Nothing much, apparently. What're you doing here?"
"What's it look like?" Keith stopped looking put-upon and grinned suddenly. "I can't go anywhere without getting mobbed by chicks. Is it just me, or are Japanese girls a little obsessive?"
Jounouchi had to be restrained from spitting stir-fry at Keith, and Honda only barely managed to keep Anzu from using her Handbag o' Doom on the American's skull. Keith, apparently deciding that he'd made the Yuugi- tachi mad enough for the moment, stopped a waitress and ordered a large pizza for himself, then put his shades back on and settled in his chair to wait.
Anzu was still shaking with rage. "Obsessive, huh? I'll give that lousy gaijin *obsessive*!"
Jounouchi carried on scowling at his former opponent as Ryou watched Keith munching away at an appetizer. The white-haired boy clicked his tongue mentally at his dark half.
/His table manners are atrocious! Almost as bad as yours, in fact./
\You don't know about bad table manners until you've seen someone eating live dung beetles.\
Ryou blanched. /Ugh! That's revolting!/
\No, my host,\ Yami no Bakura responded snidely, \that's the life of a tomb robber. You eat what you can, when you can, niceties and taste be damned.\
/It doesn't sound like fun./
\Did I ever say it was?\
There was an uncomfortable mental silence between the two of them, and it occurred to Ryou that this was probably the longest conversation they'd had since his possession of the Ring without being interrupted by Yami no Bakura trying to murder his friends or steal something. He mentioned this mentally to Yami no Bakura, who snorted uncomfortably.
\Blech, mush. Don't you dare go sentimental on me, you puling weakling: the only reason I haven't done anything is because that %$#@ Pharaoh sealed me in here.\
/I know./
\Hmph,\ Yami no Bakura groused, and changed the subject. \I think that Bandit Keith person over there must have been a tomb robber himself in a past life, the way he eats.\
Ryou watched the American stuff an entire roll into his mouth with distaste. Jounouchi, he noticed, had stopped scowling, and was looking at Keith almost - was it? - thoughtfully. After a moment or two further of blatant staring, the blond's eyes lit up and he grabbed Yuugi by the jacket collar, pulling him close.
"Hey, Yuugi, I just had an idea-!"
As Jounouchi whispered in his friend's ear, Ryou was distracted by Yami no Bakura's muttering.
\Bandit Keith-hah! If I ever face him, I'll show him who's got the right to call himself a bandit! Me, Bakura, King of Thieves, upstaged by some usurper in idiotic headgear - what the-?\
Ryou suddenly felt his dark half's presence diminish as Yuugi swiped the Ring from around his friend's neck. Holding a finger to his lips, the shorter boy beckoned Jounouchi, and the two of them crawled under the table and towards the kitchen door of the restaurant, taking care not to be seen by Bandit Keith. A befuddled Ryou stared after them as Yami no Bakura's voice grew faint.
\Hey!! What are they doing?!\
/I honestly have no idea-/
\Some host *you* are! Get me out of he-!\
Ryou was cut off. To his dismay, he felt almost distressed at the sudden absence of the tomb robber. *Am I going insane? I should be *glad* to get rid of him, whatever Jounouchi and Yuugi have got planned!*
Moments later, Jounouchi and Yuugi snuck back to the table and made themselves comfortable, Yuugi snickering and Jounouchi trying not to smirk and failing. Honda eyed them both suspiciously.
"So what did you two do with the Sennen Ring?"
"You'll see," was all Yuugi managed before bursting into a fit of giggles.
After another few minutes of awkward silence, a waitress returned bearing Keith's pizza. Jounouchi nudged Bakura and pointed as the American duellist opted to forgo utensils entirely and simply picked up the pizza by its edges. He opened his mouth and chomped down with vigour.
"OOWWWWWWWWCH!!! Motherfucking bastard sonofa-!!"
Jounouchi collapsed laughing on the table and Yuugi fell off his seat. Bakura exchanged a horrified look with Honda, and Anzu spat out her drink all over the tablecloth.
"You didn't!" Bakura gasped, staring at Jounouchi and Yuugi.
"We did - oh, boy, did we ever!"
Ryou blinked. *Did it work, then?*
\NO, you insufferable moron, I'm still here! The Ring's undamaged.\
/Oh./
Ryou informed his friends of this, which didn't seem to diminish their mirth. However, they soon had another problem on their hands.
Keith looked up at the helplessly laughing Yuugi, Jounouchi, and Anzu, and his eyes narrowed. Clutching his jaw, the burly American left his table and stomped up to them, looming over the Yuugi-tachi with venom in his gaze.
"YOU!" He hissed, focusing on Jounouchi.
"Y-yeah?" The blond managed to sputter.
"You did this, didn't you, you punk? You put this piece of shit in my pizza!!" To illustrate, Keith held up a cheese-and-tomato-covered, steaming Sennen Ring.
Ryou blushed and held out his hands. "Um, actually, Mr. Howard, it's my Ring."
\Piece of shit??!!\ Yami no Bakura raged in his lighter half's head. \Who's *he* calling a piece of shit?! How would he like it if I came over and called his apartment a dung heap, hmm?\
/Oh, hush up!/ Ryou snapped nervously at the tomb robber, as Keith's glare darkened. The American seemed to sense that Jounouchi, not Bakura, was behind his unwanted pizza topping, because he rounded on the blond once more.
"Listen, Jounouchi, you little prick, I could have broken my jaw on that thing! And unless your rich boyfriend feels like paying for my fillings to be replaced-!"
"Hey, I don't have a boyfriend!" Jounouchi protested, bemused. Then, "Hey, if you're implying that Yuugi and I are - "
"No, you jackass, I mean your boyfriend the whack job who's obsessed with Blue Eyes dragons!"
Jounouchi turned bright red as Honda hid a smile. "Seto Kaiba?!! He's *not* my boyfriend!!"
"Yeah, and I'm not from New York." Keith poked experimentally at his teeth, then frowned down at the teenagers. "You're just lucky there's no permanent damage, or there would have been Hell to pay from you brats!"
With that, Keith stomped out of the patio and down the street in a huff, leaving behind the pizza, the Ring, and a very flustered waitress. Anzu looked after him for a moment, then called out with a wicked smile on her lips, "Hey, Howard-san!! Aren't you going to sue us, then?!"
The parting gesture Keith made at Anzu needed no translation from English to Japanese, but the teenagers were laughing too hard to notice.
Ryou watched as Jounouchi and Honda picked the cheese and tomato off the Ring and ate it. /Have you ever tried cheese, koe?/
\No.\ Why did Yami no Bakura sound so sulky? Was it because he couldn't get out of the Ring and murder people - or perhaps - it was because he felt betrayed by his host? Ryou relayed the question, and the tomb robber made a rude noise in response.
\As if! Betrayed? By *you*?! I don't need you any more than an ibis needs a three-wheeled chariot!\
"Bakura, eat some food already!" Honda admonished the boy, snapping him out of his reverie. "I know we didn't succeed in getting rid of that thing, but that's no reason to starve yourself to death."
\Indeed, that lout Captain has a point.\ Yami no Bakura remarked before breaking contact with Ryou, who blinked, then obediently tucked in to his dinner. Yuugi had meanwhile changed the subject to lighter matters, after congratulating Anzu on her "zinger" to Keith.
"Hey, guys, it's our class's turn to clean out the basement tomorrow."
"Oh, yuck!" Anzu made a face. "That place is all full of spiders and stuff! Disgusting!"
"Aw, Anzu's scared of the creepy-crawlies crawling up her skirt!" Jounouchi snickered and ducked before Anzu could deliver one of her famed right hooks. When he judged it was safe, he sat back up straight. "Shot *not* doing the furnace room."
"That place is the worst," Honda agreed. "Bakura, you want to stay away from that room: not only is it smelly and full of bugs I don't even know the names for, but the lock on the furnace door is broken. If you're not careful or really huge, the seniors will come down sometimes and see who's on furnace duty, and then they'll pitch your stuff into the furnace itself!"
Bakura blinked. "High temperatures?"
Honda nodded. "Very. You know Hanasaki? He brought in a bowie knife one time for a project in shop class, and these two older kids got it and pitched it in there and it completely melted; they probably would have done the same to Hanasaki if Yuugi and Jounouchi hadn't caught them and beaten them up."
Yuugi blushed. "Well, actually Jounouchi was the one who fought them: I just tried to get Hanasaki out of there." Jounouchi preened until Anzu brought him down to earth sharply.
"Yeah, but the only reason Jounouchi knows about the furnace room so well was because *he* used to be the one who'd throw the little kids' things in the fire." Jounouchi grumbled under his breath about Anzu learning to keep her mouth shut, but an idea was already forming in Bakura's head.
\You wouldn't.\
/You said you didn't need me any more than an ibis needs a three- wheeled chariot, didn't you?/ Without waiting for an answer, Bakura shut the link between his dark side and himself, and turned to his friends, who stared at him.
"If you guys are okay with that, can Yuugi and I do furnace room duty?"
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