There's Got To Be a Morning After
(next morning)
5:45AM
The boy could not stop crying for what he had done. The hurtful words that he
said that to the person who loved him the most that he wished upon a thousand stars
that he could take back. Jacen Forman sat on the old swing set that was here when
they moved in a few years ago. When he and Mindy left his mother's house and he
stood on the porch trying to not to cry in front of the girl he liked he noticed the
neighbor in the next yard was burning trash. The flames. It brought him back to that
day when he was nine years old and he was trapped in the bathroom. Only one
person wanted to risk their lives to save him and it wasn't his mother. His father
would have saved him, he was sure of it, but the fireman stopped him from being a
hero to the young boy.
He was in a daze and completely didn't see the tree stump that he fell into. Jacen's
jeans did not rip but he had an open wound on his thigh. No one could tell any thing
was wrong because before he left he fell into a mud puddle. This was full price paid
for being an ungrateful kid. He knew it. That's why the thought to get drunk was just
as simple and beautiful as a flower that blooms. There was no way his father was
going to forgive him. He would probably send him off to a foster home. He dug his
heels into the dirt thinking that maybe his mother was right and that he was nothing
but an ugly mistake.
Eric felt something wet and sticky on the bed. He opened up his eyes to find
Jacen gone and a big red spot on the sheets. He was still dressed in his suit from
the night before. It was now wrinkled but he didn't care. That's why god invented the
dry cleaner. He allowed himself one small comfort and tore off his tie and placed it
over the lampshade.
"Jacen." He went into his room and it was empty. He wasn't anywhere in the house
as Eric tried not to put himself in full-worry mode.
"Jacen," Eric's blood pressure went back to normal when he saw that his son was
sitting on one of the back yard swings. He grabbed the first aid kit that was in the
utility drawer and went outside in his socked feet to join him.
"May I join you?" Eric asked as he sat on the other swing.
Jacen couldn't answer him. It hurt him too much. He turned his ahead away and
hoped that his father couldn't tell that he was crying.
"On May first almost thirteen years ago when you were born. It was the happiest day
of my life."
Eric stood up and gently tilted Jacen's chin up and saw the sorrow in his young blue
eyes.
"It's going to be okay," he kissed his forehead, "Let's take care of your cut."
Eric didn't care that he was outside. He was not about to move the fragile boy inside
just because of some politically correct moron who couldn't realize that he was trying
to take care of his son.
"It's on my thigh," Jacen quietly replied
"How did this happen?"
"I fell into a tree stump."
"I don't like the looks of this," It was all blood and pus and normally Eric would have
closed his eyes if this was on TV, but his son needed him and that was that. "I hope
this doesn't burn, but you might want to hold onto the swing bar tight," Eric tried to
clean the wound with antiseptic wash as Jacen tried to deny the physical pain. "I
hope that wasn't so bad, son. I'm going to use the waterproof bandage and tape.
You're a brave solider. There. All done."
Jacen pulled up his pants and sat back down on the swing.
"Jackie told me where you went last night. I'm sorry you had to hear your own mother
call you a mistake."
Jacen stood up and walked to the tree so he could rest his back against it.
"Because you aren't. All my life I was the perpetual screw up. You are the best
thing that I ever did."
Eric sat next to him and wondered why his son was refusing him?
"Come here, put your head on my shoulder. I love you more than anyone in this
whole world." Eric gently held his son. The first real words came five minutes later.
"Dad, I'm so sorry." He tried to stop the tears from flowing.
"I know you are," Eric stroked his hair, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I love you."
"I love you, too," Eric hugged him tight, "That is why I kept her address from you,
Jacen, I didn't want her to hurt you."
"She called me a walking abortion and that I ruined her life and that you were her first
mistake and I was her second---and that I was ugly and she wished me a life of
misery and pain and then later I fell…so I guess I deserved it."
"No. You are none of those things."
"I didn't mean wanting to runaway….I thought bad things too…about you." He cried
into his father's chest.
"I know. We were going through quite a rough patch. It must have been tempting
when you found that address and you thought I lied to you."
"She said you never wanted me, either."
Eric wiped his son's tears away with his hand.
"What? Jesus Christ, God help me for hating that woman. . Jacen, I love you more
than anything. I have never once felt that. I only made a remark about how were
going to financially support a baby, but I always wanted you."
"I treated you like—"
"It's okay to say it just this once."
"I treated you like shit, Dad. I'm so sorry."
"I know you are, Jacen. And I'm sorry that your mother turned out to be a bitter and
angry person."
"Am I in trouble?"
"Only for the drinking and stealing my money. I can't fault you for wanting to see your
Mother…"
"But I wanted to live with her."
"I know."
"How can you forgive me when I can't forgive myself for what I put you through?"
"Someday you will have a child of your own and you will understand what means to
have an unbreakable and unconditional bond with someone. I love you very much
and that's never going to change. Now, why don't you take a bath and I'll make us
both breakfast."
"Are we going to discuss another groundation period?"
"You bet your sweet bippy."
"Huh?"
"Never mind," Eric helped Jacen up, "Yes, we will."
"Dad?"
"Yes?" Eric asked as they walked back into the house.
"Do you think you can make Grandma Kitty's Swedish pancakes?"
Eric sighed as it had been a trying time for the both of them and now all that was left
was time. They both deserved a treat for surviving the storm.
"Okay. I want to check your cut later if it still looks bad we're going to the hospital."
"Dad, I don't want to go to the hospital."
"Well you are going to if I think you need to, son. Now take a bath and I'll change my
clothes and start breakfast."
Jacen was about to leave the room but turned around to give his father another hug.
"You weren't a mistake either."
Eric smiled and as he kissed Jacen on the forehead. He walked into his bedroom
to change into fresh clothes.
He and Jacen were going to be all right. They survived.
They got their morning after.