*Disclaimer: I don't own the series Gilmore Girls or the original
characters. All I own is my imagination and the plot.
*A/N: I don't have a lot to say, besides thank you :-) for the reviews. Although I have written my share of stories, I still get insecure about every one. But I'm sure everyone does. I hope you like it. :-)
*~*~*:-)*~*~*Bye, smile
A book lay open on Rory's lap, its pages rustling in the everyday wind, which was familiarly tugging at her hair, making her feel like a young free spirit again. Back when her eyes hadn't quite grasped every color in this town or fully understood every colorful conversation yet. Back when this time had still been a mystery to her and had seemed as intricate as a maze, with its many hidden passages and forgotten corners, like the Dragonfly had been only years ago.
A childish smile came to find its temporarily peace upon her face, as she let her eyes wander from sight to sight, some have been here for what seemed like a perpetual time, while others had been added throughout the years. Even a second bookstore found its place in Stars Hollow, although she prefered the old one. Besides the unique books it held, there were also some pleasant memories attached to it. Memories of when she still visited the store frequently, four times a week if she had the time. Those four times had eventually turned into five, a minor, but iindicative change to the observant eyes.
A wistful smile erased her earlier one, as she thought about the hours she had lost browsing those stacks and stacks of books. But her love for reading wasn't the only reason which had led her into the bookstore so many times. The other reason had been a dark-haired boy, which she could watch eternally, as he sat in one of the large and comfy chairs, letting nothing break his concentration, except her presence. He had always made her feel special, but sometimes he had made her feel like an outsider instead of his very own girlfriend. That had been the first indication of a relationship that would eventually tumble to the ground.
And although she loved Joey, because he lacked imperfection, that was the same reason why she sometimes closed her eyes and wished upon a star. She would wish to go back in time and try, even harder than she did before, to wwithholdher relationship with Jess. But of course that wasn't possible and she knew that, but still she couldn't let the habit go, afraid that this was the only thread that still connected her life with his. They had become strangers to one and other and they were both to blame.
Rory moved her gaze to the diner, knowing that she would have to go there tonight and tell him....... Tell him about Joey and their wedding, which she had spend almost a year of planning on, together with her mom, Lane and Sookie. And yesterday she had put the last of the icing on top of the cake, pleased with the result and her decision, although it came close to flickering every now and then. But she wasn't backing down this time, she was taking the big step and committing to someone. Something she doubted Jess could ever do. He was too wrapped up in his own piece of mind. And Rory was sick of fighting for a place in his mind and heart, although she wasn't looking forward to hurting him either, cause no matter how cold he may remain, it would get to him.
But for now she didn't have to worry about that. She would be able to remain here for a couple of more hours, until the sun would disappear behind the horizon, leaving her with not enough light to read. Just as she lowered her gaze back to her book, the door of the diner opened and Jess came out, an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips, while he searched his pockets for a lighter. While he did this, his eyes found the gazebo, which slightly shaded her figure from his sight. But his recognition didn't last long. By the time he had found his lighter and lit his cigarette, he was already on his way to the bridge. A place where she didn't come anymore, not when he was there anyway.
*~*~*
Rory stood in front of Luke's diner. Although it looked like every other building during the night, there was something significant about it which made it stand out and easy to rrecognize She remembered noticing the sign above the door for the first time. She had just learned to read a few days ago and it was just then that she saw that the sign said: Luke's Hardware Store, instead of Luke's Diner. But she had gotten used to it over the years, just like all the other people in this town. Besides, the smell of french fries always gave away the secret. Even tonight, the distant smell of french fries and onion rings circled in the air around her. Rory briefly smiled, although her smile quickly subsided when her fist came in contact with the door. It took only two knocks, before footsteps could be heard beyond the other end of the door. And it took but a few seconds for the door to be opened and for his face to become visible.
''Hey,'' Rory said, as she looked at Jess's face, which kept its hard and careless features, even when her greeting had tumbled out between her lips.
Jess nodded, as he wondered why she was bothering to acknowledge his presence now, when she hadn't exchanged any words with him ever since he came back.
Rory wasn't taken back by his stubborn will to remain silent. She had expected him to react this way, although Jess always managed to surprise her with a new trick, just when she thought that she had him completely figured out. ''Can I come in ? I need to talk to you.''
Jess took a step back, opening the door a little further. ''The door's open.''
She made sure not to accidentally touch him, as she passed him, knowing that it would only stir up memories which she had laid to rest a while back. She heard Jess close the door, but didn't turn around to face him just yet. She was buying herself time. Stretching this silence as long as she could, so she would have the chance to come up with the perfect sentence, a right way to tell him. One that wouldn't make her feel guilty afterwards.
Jess put both of his hands in his pockets, as he looked over at Rory. It was strange to be standing so close to her again. Of course he had seen her around town these passed few weeks, but most of the time they hadn't acknowledged each other's stolen glances and private smiles. Lately there had seemed to be an unclear line between them, one which they hadn't agreed on, although they had never once crossed it.
Jess blamed himself for her behavior. That's why he hadn't approached her in all this time. He was afraid of seeing his version of the truth reflected in her eyes, but he was also afraid of the fact that he might not be satisfied with just talking to her. His longing exceeded his passion for good conversation and a few innocent looks in her direction. His stone heart was just one of his many disguises.
''So, you wanted to talk....... or was it one of those passing urges ?''
Rory finally turned around to face him, afraid that she would eventually lose her will to talk to him and be honest with him. ''No, I wanna talk.'' She shook her head, causing her hair to fall to the sides, leaving her eyes clearly visible.
''Well, the mic's all yours.''
Rory nodded. ''On one condition. You have to promise me that you won't say anything until I'm done.''
''Ah, but interrupting people during real serious conversations is my speciality.''
''Jess........,'' Rory said, as she locked eyes with him for the first time in many years.
''Fine,'' he curtly said, as he curiously eyed her, keeping all of his affection bottled up within.
''Thanks.'' Rory took a deep breath, as she prepared herself for her next few sentences, struggling with the question if she should apologize for not approaching him sooner or not. Finally she decided against it, knowing that it would only lead to a much longer and more complicated road. One she didn't want to travel this night.
''Well, you know I went to Yale after Chilton.........''
''22.8 miles,'' Jess said, holding back a smirk.
Rory paused for a few seconds, almost smiling at the memory herself. ''.........so I went to Yale and everything was great there. I had an amazing time. I even became one of those social butterflies, going to parties with my friends. And at one of those parties I met.........well, I met this wonderful guy. His name's Joey and....................''
''Ror-y, Joe-y, I think I know where you're going with this,'' Jess interrupted, disgusted by how perfect their names seemed to fit together.
Rory shot him an impatient look, which Jess actually respected. He motioned for her to go on, not having the heart to tell her that he really didn't care about how she met Joey.
''And he's nice, sweet, thoughtful, smart and he has a crazy sense of humor, which is extremely important to both me and my mom,'' Rory continued.
This time a smile did grace Jess's face. He had almost forgot about Rory's somewhat strange sense of humor and crazy theories. That had been one of the qualities that he had loved the most about her. It had kept him grounded, most of the time.
''I ended up really liking him and we went on a few dates. We were still together after I graduated from Yale. He still had a year or so to go, because he was actually going to Harvard..........'' A smile crept upon Rory's face, as she thought about how Joey made her feel, even when he wasn't around.
''So, I eventually took him back here to meet mom and Luke. I know, I don't need their approval to have a boyfriend, but it's still really nice to have it. They ended up liking him, even Luke, which was a huge relief for me. Anyway, this year we decided to visit Stars Hollow again, cause he liked the place and the people a lot. I agreed and said that it would be fun to see my mom again. And that's when he.........well, he said that it would be fun to see my mom's reaction when we told her the big news and that's when he proposed to me,'' Rory finished, feeling regretful about the fact that she hadn't managed to keep the story as short as possible.
''I was wondering where you got that ring,'' Jess said, nodding in the direction of Rory's hand. Rory immediately followed his gaze and smiled when she saw the simple silver.
''Why did you tell me ?''
Rory lifted her head with one swift movement, while she kept rubbing her ring with the fingers of her other hand. She was a little confused about his response. She knew he wouldn't be thrilled about the news, but she had expected him to be happy for her. After all, that was what they both wanted for each other.......
''I wanted to tell you personally, before you heard it from anybody else. See, Joey and I just told everyone the date of the wedding yesterday.''
''Should I be happy now ?'' Jess asked, rather harshly.
''Well, yeah, I mean, I am getting married,'' Rory almost whispered, feeling a little hurt by his stinging words.
''That's great, congratulations,'' he said bitterly, not missing the mournful look in her eyes.
''Jess, don't do this,'' Rory almost pleaded, as she lowered her eyes.
''Do what ?! I told you it was great.''
''Don't do this!'' Rory snapped. ''Don't turn everything around to make me feel guilty, cause I'm happy! You were the one that left without saying a word!'' Her voice became louder as she reached the end of her sentence, not able to control her frustration anymore.
Jess however, was able to remain visibly unaffected by her desperate accusations. Her words were indeed true, but he had prepared himself for them a long time ago. And he had even preached them to himself, while he had kept his eyes fixed upon his own reflection in the mirror. He had observed every flicker of hurt that had lit up his dark pools and he had practiced on hiding it as well as he could. And by now, he had perfected his act.
''And apparently you got over me pretty quickly,'' were his next words. Words that caused Rory's indignancy to flame up, which Jess could easily tell by her flushed cheeks and the way her hands were shaking. A sign of an outburst. One that would put him in his place and would prove him wrong.
''I tried calling you, but you didn't leave a number so it was kind of hard. Luke didn't have any number either. I guess you didn't wanna be found, by me or anyone. And don't you dare tell me that I got over you quickly, cause the first year of Yale was hell for me. I didn't go out, I didn't make any new friends, I just ignored everything and everyone, because I was so heartbroken over your departure. I have cried myself to sleep countless times, so don't you dare tell me that I got over you quickly!''
Tears appeared in Rory's eyes, as she brought them up to meet his, surprised by the hurt she found in them. She hadn't meant to make him feel like that. She just wanted to let him know that he shouldn't just assume things, but of course she hadn't been able to stop the words from slipping out of her mouth.
''I'm sorry, I didn't come here to start a fight,'' Rory said, as she blinked away the few tears, which glazed her eyes.
Jess nodded, unsure of what he should say to her.
Rory took a step towards him. ''I want you to come to my wedding.''
''Rory,'' Jess warned, as a frown appeared on his face.
''Everyone is coming.''
''Would it make you happy ?''
Rory nodded, and moved closer to him, until she was close enough to trace the familiar lines of his face with her eyes, not missing the dark stubs that were scattered on his chin and just beneath his lower lip. She remembered kissing him and feeling them scratch against her cheek, making their kisses more intense and personal, especially when she ran her hands over his face later. Back then, she believed it to be an intimate gesture, one that she would never share with another guy. And until this day, she hadn't. Joey shaved every day, to her relief.
''Yes.''
''Okay, I'll come to your wedding.''
Rory smiled at him. ''Thanks, I really want you to be there.''
Jess didn't say anything and looked at her, his eyes distant, although their bodies weren't. Jess knew that they were standing dangerously close and even Rory knew that in the back of her mind. She had trouble controlling her tendencies, as she slowly brought her hand up, until it was only inches away from his face. But before she would cross the line, she stopped herself and brought her hand to her own face, quickly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
''I have to go, Joey's waiting for me.''
''Congratulate him for me.''
But Jess's only answer was the sound of the door, as it shut behind Rory's retreating figure.
*R*E*V*I*E*W*! Please ? :-) I know, a lot of text to struggle through, but I had to try to give you an idea of what's going on in their heads. This story will get more serious with time, so right now the rating's a precaution. And this story will revolve completely around Jess and Rory, of course Joey's here for a reason. He's the distraction..... Thank you so much! :-)
*A/N: I don't have a lot to say, besides thank you :-) for the reviews. Although I have written my share of stories, I still get insecure about every one. But I'm sure everyone does. I hope you like it. :-)
*~*~*:-)*~*~*Bye, smile
A book lay open on Rory's lap, its pages rustling in the everyday wind, which was familiarly tugging at her hair, making her feel like a young free spirit again. Back when her eyes hadn't quite grasped every color in this town or fully understood every colorful conversation yet. Back when this time had still been a mystery to her and had seemed as intricate as a maze, with its many hidden passages and forgotten corners, like the Dragonfly had been only years ago.
A childish smile came to find its temporarily peace upon her face, as she let her eyes wander from sight to sight, some have been here for what seemed like a perpetual time, while others had been added throughout the years. Even a second bookstore found its place in Stars Hollow, although she prefered the old one. Besides the unique books it held, there were also some pleasant memories attached to it. Memories of when she still visited the store frequently, four times a week if she had the time. Those four times had eventually turned into five, a minor, but iindicative change to the observant eyes.
A wistful smile erased her earlier one, as she thought about the hours she had lost browsing those stacks and stacks of books. But her love for reading wasn't the only reason which had led her into the bookstore so many times. The other reason had been a dark-haired boy, which she could watch eternally, as he sat in one of the large and comfy chairs, letting nothing break his concentration, except her presence. He had always made her feel special, but sometimes he had made her feel like an outsider instead of his very own girlfriend. That had been the first indication of a relationship that would eventually tumble to the ground.
And although she loved Joey, because he lacked imperfection, that was the same reason why she sometimes closed her eyes and wished upon a star. She would wish to go back in time and try, even harder than she did before, to wwithholdher relationship with Jess. But of course that wasn't possible and she knew that, but still she couldn't let the habit go, afraid that this was the only thread that still connected her life with his. They had become strangers to one and other and they were both to blame.
Rory moved her gaze to the diner, knowing that she would have to go there tonight and tell him....... Tell him about Joey and their wedding, which she had spend almost a year of planning on, together with her mom, Lane and Sookie. And yesterday she had put the last of the icing on top of the cake, pleased with the result and her decision, although it came close to flickering every now and then. But she wasn't backing down this time, she was taking the big step and committing to someone. Something she doubted Jess could ever do. He was too wrapped up in his own piece of mind. And Rory was sick of fighting for a place in his mind and heart, although she wasn't looking forward to hurting him either, cause no matter how cold he may remain, it would get to him.
But for now she didn't have to worry about that. She would be able to remain here for a couple of more hours, until the sun would disappear behind the horizon, leaving her with not enough light to read. Just as she lowered her gaze back to her book, the door of the diner opened and Jess came out, an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips, while he searched his pockets for a lighter. While he did this, his eyes found the gazebo, which slightly shaded her figure from his sight. But his recognition didn't last long. By the time he had found his lighter and lit his cigarette, he was already on his way to the bridge. A place where she didn't come anymore, not when he was there anyway.
*~*~*
Rory stood in front of Luke's diner. Although it looked like every other building during the night, there was something significant about it which made it stand out and easy to rrecognize She remembered noticing the sign above the door for the first time. She had just learned to read a few days ago and it was just then that she saw that the sign said: Luke's Hardware Store, instead of Luke's Diner. But she had gotten used to it over the years, just like all the other people in this town. Besides, the smell of french fries always gave away the secret. Even tonight, the distant smell of french fries and onion rings circled in the air around her. Rory briefly smiled, although her smile quickly subsided when her fist came in contact with the door. It took only two knocks, before footsteps could be heard beyond the other end of the door. And it took but a few seconds for the door to be opened and for his face to become visible.
''Hey,'' Rory said, as she looked at Jess's face, which kept its hard and careless features, even when her greeting had tumbled out between her lips.
Jess nodded, as he wondered why she was bothering to acknowledge his presence now, when she hadn't exchanged any words with him ever since he came back.
Rory wasn't taken back by his stubborn will to remain silent. She had expected him to react this way, although Jess always managed to surprise her with a new trick, just when she thought that she had him completely figured out. ''Can I come in ? I need to talk to you.''
Jess took a step back, opening the door a little further. ''The door's open.''
She made sure not to accidentally touch him, as she passed him, knowing that it would only stir up memories which she had laid to rest a while back. She heard Jess close the door, but didn't turn around to face him just yet. She was buying herself time. Stretching this silence as long as she could, so she would have the chance to come up with the perfect sentence, a right way to tell him. One that wouldn't make her feel guilty afterwards.
Jess put both of his hands in his pockets, as he looked over at Rory. It was strange to be standing so close to her again. Of course he had seen her around town these passed few weeks, but most of the time they hadn't acknowledged each other's stolen glances and private smiles. Lately there had seemed to be an unclear line between them, one which they hadn't agreed on, although they had never once crossed it.
Jess blamed himself for her behavior. That's why he hadn't approached her in all this time. He was afraid of seeing his version of the truth reflected in her eyes, but he was also afraid of the fact that he might not be satisfied with just talking to her. His longing exceeded his passion for good conversation and a few innocent looks in her direction. His stone heart was just one of his many disguises.
''So, you wanted to talk....... or was it one of those passing urges ?''
Rory finally turned around to face him, afraid that she would eventually lose her will to talk to him and be honest with him. ''No, I wanna talk.'' She shook her head, causing her hair to fall to the sides, leaving her eyes clearly visible.
''Well, the mic's all yours.''
Rory nodded. ''On one condition. You have to promise me that you won't say anything until I'm done.''
''Ah, but interrupting people during real serious conversations is my speciality.''
''Jess........,'' Rory said, as she locked eyes with him for the first time in many years.
''Fine,'' he curtly said, as he curiously eyed her, keeping all of his affection bottled up within.
''Thanks.'' Rory took a deep breath, as she prepared herself for her next few sentences, struggling with the question if she should apologize for not approaching him sooner or not. Finally she decided against it, knowing that it would only lead to a much longer and more complicated road. One she didn't want to travel this night.
''Well, you know I went to Yale after Chilton.........''
''22.8 miles,'' Jess said, holding back a smirk.
Rory paused for a few seconds, almost smiling at the memory herself. ''.........so I went to Yale and everything was great there. I had an amazing time. I even became one of those social butterflies, going to parties with my friends. And at one of those parties I met.........well, I met this wonderful guy. His name's Joey and....................''
''Ror-y, Joe-y, I think I know where you're going with this,'' Jess interrupted, disgusted by how perfect their names seemed to fit together.
Rory shot him an impatient look, which Jess actually respected. He motioned for her to go on, not having the heart to tell her that he really didn't care about how she met Joey.
''And he's nice, sweet, thoughtful, smart and he has a crazy sense of humor, which is extremely important to both me and my mom,'' Rory continued.
This time a smile did grace Jess's face. He had almost forgot about Rory's somewhat strange sense of humor and crazy theories. That had been one of the qualities that he had loved the most about her. It had kept him grounded, most of the time.
''I ended up really liking him and we went on a few dates. We were still together after I graduated from Yale. He still had a year or so to go, because he was actually going to Harvard..........'' A smile crept upon Rory's face, as she thought about how Joey made her feel, even when he wasn't around.
''So, I eventually took him back here to meet mom and Luke. I know, I don't need their approval to have a boyfriend, but it's still really nice to have it. They ended up liking him, even Luke, which was a huge relief for me. Anyway, this year we decided to visit Stars Hollow again, cause he liked the place and the people a lot. I agreed and said that it would be fun to see my mom again. And that's when he.........well, he said that it would be fun to see my mom's reaction when we told her the big news and that's when he proposed to me,'' Rory finished, feeling regretful about the fact that she hadn't managed to keep the story as short as possible.
''I was wondering where you got that ring,'' Jess said, nodding in the direction of Rory's hand. Rory immediately followed his gaze and smiled when she saw the simple silver.
''Why did you tell me ?''
Rory lifted her head with one swift movement, while she kept rubbing her ring with the fingers of her other hand. She was a little confused about his response. She knew he wouldn't be thrilled about the news, but she had expected him to be happy for her. After all, that was what they both wanted for each other.......
''I wanted to tell you personally, before you heard it from anybody else. See, Joey and I just told everyone the date of the wedding yesterday.''
''Should I be happy now ?'' Jess asked, rather harshly.
''Well, yeah, I mean, I am getting married,'' Rory almost whispered, feeling a little hurt by his stinging words.
''That's great, congratulations,'' he said bitterly, not missing the mournful look in her eyes.
''Jess, don't do this,'' Rory almost pleaded, as she lowered her eyes.
''Do what ?! I told you it was great.''
''Don't do this!'' Rory snapped. ''Don't turn everything around to make me feel guilty, cause I'm happy! You were the one that left without saying a word!'' Her voice became louder as she reached the end of her sentence, not able to control her frustration anymore.
Jess however, was able to remain visibly unaffected by her desperate accusations. Her words were indeed true, but he had prepared himself for them a long time ago. And he had even preached them to himself, while he had kept his eyes fixed upon his own reflection in the mirror. He had observed every flicker of hurt that had lit up his dark pools and he had practiced on hiding it as well as he could. And by now, he had perfected his act.
''And apparently you got over me pretty quickly,'' were his next words. Words that caused Rory's indignancy to flame up, which Jess could easily tell by her flushed cheeks and the way her hands were shaking. A sign of an outburst. One that would put him in his place and would prove him wrong.
''I tried calling you, but you didn't leave a number so it was kind of hard. Luke didn't have any number either. I guess you didn't wanna be found, by me or anyone. And don't you dare tell me that I got over you quickly, cause the first year of Yale was hell for me. I didn't go out, I didn't make any new friends, I just ignored everything and everyone, because I was so heartbroken over your departure. I have cried myself to sleep countless times, so don't you dare tell me that I got over you quickly!''
Tears appeared in Rory's eyes, as she brought them up to meet his, surprised by the hurt she found in them. She hadn't meant to make him feel like that. She just wanted to let him know that he shouldn't just assume things, but of course she hadn't been able to stop the words from slipping out of her mouth.
''I'm sorry, I didn't come here to start a fight,'' Rory said, as she blinked away the few tears, which glazed her eyes.
Jess nodded, unsure of what he should say to her.
Rory took a step towards him. ''I want you to come to my wedding.''
''Rory,'' Jess warned, as a frown appeared on his face.
''Everyone is coming.''
''Would it make you happy ?''
Rory nodded, and moved closer to him, until she was close enough to trace the familiar lines of his face with her eyes, not missing the dark stubs that were scattered on his chin and just beneath his lower lip. She remembered kissing him and feeling them scratch against her cheek, making their kisses more intense and personal, especially when she ran her hands over his face later. Back then, she believed it to be an intimate gesture, one that she would never share with another guy. And until this day, she hadn't. Joey shaved every day, to her relief.
''Yes.''
''Okay, I'll come to your wedding.''
Rory smiled at him. ''Thanks, I really want you to be there.''
Jess didn't say anything and looked at her, his eyes distant, although their bodies weren't. Jess knew that they were standing dangerously close and even Rory knew that in the back of her mind. She had trouble controlling her tendencies, as she slowly brought her hand up, until it was only inches away from his face. But before she would cross the line, she stopped herself and brought her hand to her own face, quickly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
''I have to go, Joey's waiting for me.''
''Congratulate him for me.''
But Jess's only answer was the sound of the door, as it shut behind Rory's retreating figure.
*R*E*V*I*E*W*! Please ? :-) I know, a lot of text to struggle through, but I had to try to give you an idea of what's going on in their heads. This story will get more serious with time, so right now the rating's a precaution. And this story will revolve completely around Jess and Rory, of course Joey's here for a reason. He's the distraction..... Thank you so much! :-)